i feel so happy when other bands are like

My take on the fandom...

There has been some…things addressed about tree bros taking over the message in Dear Evan Hansen. It’s frustrating people and I know I’m getting frustrated too. I post a lot of stuff for them, but my heart really lies with the actual show. It’s got so many important issues that are finally addressed and that’s what I love about it. I know I have a lot of tree bros here but it’s mainly a band aid that I can rip off when I’m feeling mentally stable enough.

Dear Evan Hansen made me look at my own life and for a little while I went into a tail spin. I have really terrible anxiety and am really really toxic to others when I’m upset. I say things I don’t mean and things I do mean. It’s a lot like homestuck to me. It’s harsh and heartbreaking so the ships are a little band aid and corner of happiness for the fandom.

Either way it’s a bandaid, just a little covering to try and heal the sadness in the show, you can’t just ignore it though. Tree Bros is great but please
PLEASE
Don’t let tree bros drown out the important things about Dear Evan Hansen.

BUT do not be too upset at those that do love tree bros. I mean well, it’s just a comfort thing… If you have any questions please message me or ask me so I can answer publicly.

anonymous asked:

can you give me a reason to live, please? anything.

1. A hug.
2. An “I love you”.
3. A funny tumblr post.
4. A message, “I miss you”.
5. A pat on the shoulder.
6. Proving that you could do it to others who didn’t believe in you.
7. The funny doodles.
8. New songs from your favorite artists and bands.
9. Inside jokes.
10. Playing your friend until you’ve laughed so hard you’ve stopped breathing.
11. Eating a cupcake that taste like heaven.
12. Graduating.
13. Watching the seasons change.
14. Quick kisses.
15. Big smiles.
16. Making someone happy.
17. Drawing something beautiful.
18. Walking past your ex and being fine. .
19. That feels moment when your ship becomes canon.
20. Amazing ships becoming canon.
21. Having a dog tug at their collar to come near you.
22. Matchmaking.
23. The moment of relief when you pass an really important test.
24. Catching the person you like looking at you.
26. The feel of their heart against mine.
27. Standing up for a friend.
28. Seeing two people hold hands in the street.
29. A happy old couple.
30. Seeing your friends smile.
31. Sitting on the edge, away from the crowd, and having someone grab your hand to pull you in.
32. Your first times.
33. Pigs flying.
34. Walking a happy dog.
35. Skype calls with internet friends.
36. Going to museums.
37. People being protective.
38. Learning a different language and trying to talk to someone in that language and watching their face of confusion.
39. Dictionaries.
40. Poetry in the rain.
41. Walks in the dark.
42. Running about on the beach in the pitch black.
43. Wanting time to freeze moments forever.
44. Buffets.
45. Chocolate.
46. Shooting stars
47. Looking at art.
48. Crying from the emotions in a memoir.
49. Reading in a cosy bed while rain lashes outside.
50. a shopkeeper that gives you a discount.
51. Music.
52. Nerd references that not everyone in the group understands and you immediately know them.
53. Laughing until your sides feel like they’re burst.
54. That moment in a song when tears fill my eyes.
55. Sunset.
56. Sunrise.
57. Lists like this one.
58. Compliments.
59. That moment when all of your plans go wrong but what you do instead is much better anyway.
60. Introducing your friend to a fandom and seeing them get as obsessed as you.
61. Long phone calls about random stuff.
62. A kiss on the cheek as they wipe away your tears.
63. Knowing your not alone.
64. Concerts.
65. Performing.
66. Atlases.
67. Encyclopaedias.
68. Memes.
69. Random acts of kindness.
70. Waking up early and realizing you don’t have school.
71. Talking to someone and realising they feel the same way as you about something.
72. Meeting that person you can tell everything to.
73. Telling a massive secret and feeling the weight lift off your chest.
74. Baby animals.
75. Flowers in summer.
76. Those crappy family holidays where it rains but we watch cosy movies and play board games.
77. Redecorating just the way you want it.
78. Parties for no other reason than to have a party.
79. Innocent children.
80. Re-watching kids’ movies and seeing a million hidden messages you’d never noticed before.
81. Adventures in the night.
82. A good bowl of cereal.
83. Holding someone protectively and telling them that the bad stuff will pass and that your here.
84. Publishing a piece and getting a favourite or a meaningful comment.
85. Suggestion blogs.
86. Re-blogging the post and saving another life.
87. Sending love to random internet people.
88. Regretting nothing.
89. Love songs and mushy chick flicks while eating chocolate during a period.
90. Something finally making sense.
91. Love.
92. Hope.
93. Mistakes.
84. Lessons.
95. New Music.
96. Good movies.
97. Memories.
98. Plans
99. Hopes.
100. Dreams

9

Vans Girls Music Crushes: Brianna Collins

Meet the soulful singer and keyboardist of the alternative/punk/indie band Tigers Jaw, Brianna Collins. The second we heard her sultry voice and beautiful piano melodies, we were instantly hooked and had to know more about her. We met up with the Pennsylvania native and roamed the streets of Long Beach, CA in our Old Skools, scoping out vintage thrift finds and rare records while chatting about tour, writing, and her band’s new record.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say cheers for running this magnificent blog! I'm in love with everything you post— extremely convenient for the youngin's who were still in diapers when these articles were published. Keep up the good work, starshine ♡ (I'm also 22. Loved My Chem 13 years ago & I still love them today. The anon who made being over the age of 18 seem like a bad thing can suck it.)

It never fails to make me happy to know the blog is bringing happiness to others, so thank you for taking the time to write! ❤️

And yes, they can suck it. But if they were trying to make me feel bad (or others), it failed with me because when you’re the same age (or slightly younger), than the band you love, how is that supposed to make you feel wrong?

When you’re a certain age, you can’t imagine ever being, say, 30 (I went into mourning when I turned 22, that’s how fucked up society made me about aging). But then you reach it and you find out, huh, it’s really just like 29 except people take you a tad more seriously. I was actually glad to finally reach 30 and get it over with, I was so sick of the pressure society and the media puts on people to stay 21 or younger forever. There was no mourning like when I turned 22. There was a party.

Just always keep a sense of humor about age:

-Mama Odie

One Last Time Finale (IX)

Characters: Hoseok (Jhope) & Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff & smut

Series: Intro, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9 (Finale) 

Word Count: 11,151 

Summary: Hoseok is a member of a very successful boy group, BTS, while you are a trainee, who is getting ready for debut. The two of you have been dating for two years, but he suddenly left you without another word. No explanation. No apology. Nothing. You were left to suffer and find the answers yourself. If only you knew how painful the truth was going to be, you wouldn’t have been so determined to find out. But one thing that hurt more than the truth, was what the past could bring.


Hii :) I know that it’s been a while since I’ve last uploaded and I’m so sorry about that…Sometimes life just liked being an asshole.. I’m so sorry that it took me so long to finish this series, but I hope that you have all liked it? I want to thank everyone who told me how much they enjoyed the series, your words really helped me with the whole writing process ❤️ I always love to hear that you guys think! I will be uploading really soon I promise, I have a little surprise coming up 😄 Until next time, remember to reblog, like and share~ Happy Reading~ 

Originally posted by minseokhoseok

One hour.

Two hours.

Three hours.

Four hours.

Five hours.

It has been five hours since you arrived at BTS’ dorm with no one but you inside. The plan was for Hoseok to meet up with you after practice for the two of you to go on a late night walk. Or at least that was the plan five hours ago, but here you were impatiently tapping your feet against the floor while you lied perfectly still on the sofa.

This wasn’t the first time that he had been late on a date, so you never blamed nor rushed him.

You didn’t noticed that you fell asleep until you felt someone softly nudge you awake.

“Hey.” He sweetly smiled the moment he saw you open your tiresome eyes.

“Hi.” You smiled extending out your arms to invite him into a hug.

Smiling into the hug, Hoseok mumbled,

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You smiled enjoying how well your bodies molded together.

“I’m sorry for taking so long. We suddenly has a meeting about our upcoming album after practice. I wanted to call you and tell you not to wait up, but my phone died and I couldn’t ask the other members for their phones because were rushed into the meeting room right after practice.” He pouted.

Having dated Hoseok for at least a year now, you knew how hectic and unexpected his schedule could be, so never once did you complain about it.

This was the life of an idol.

And you were about to learn this first hand.

Although some days you wished that you and Hoseok could publicly walk hand in hand without a care in the world, it was highly unlikely that the day would come anytime soon. With his career and your future career on the line, a public relationship was never an option. Even though you never told Hoseok, you hated that a part of you was getting sick and tired of your short and private meetings.

But for Hoseok, you decided to keep all the negative thoughts to yourself, and just enjoy each other’s presence for as long as you can.

Like most dates that you’ve spent in the dorm that he shared with his managers and members, and the rest would usually leave the two of you alone in the living room.

Recently Hoseok due to his busy schedule, he seemed out of reach due to their comeback and preparation for their concerts. You were worried that like most celebrities, he would break it off because he was too busy to care about you, but you never had the guts to bring it up to him.

You could never imagine living without him.

Never.

Since  it was now two in the morning, the two of you decided to just enjoy each other’s presence while cuddling on the couch watching your favourite drama, Descendants of the Sun. Suddenly Hoseok grabbed a small dark blue accessory box out if his back pocket.

“I got you a present.” He smiled.

“What is it?” You giggled seeing how happy he was.

“Open it.”

Nothing but a gasp came out the moment you opened the box. You were speechless.

Inside the box was a pair of silver rings, which both seemed to replicate ropes twirling and tying around each other.

“Do you like them?” Hoseok nervously asked when you didn’t say anything.

“I love them.” You smiled with tears in your eyes.

“I know that I haven’t been around much lately, and even if you don’t tell me how you feel, I know you’re not happy. Trust me I’m not either. While touring in Canada, I walked past jewellery store and saw these rings and automatically thought of you. The knots going around the bands represent how we’re tied together. Forever.”

“I love it so much. Thank you love.” You smiled as you pulled him close into a hug until he was practically lying on top of you.

“I love you.” He mumbled into the crook of your neck.

“I love you too.” You smiled until your cheeks started to hurt.

Leaning back to get a better look of your flushed face he said,

“I know how much going public with our relationship means to you, I’m trying to convince them I really am. I promise I’ll doing all that I can.”

Shaking your head you said,

“The ring is more than enough.”

“Do you promise to wear it forever?”

“As long as you always wear it too.” You smiled as you slipped the ring onto his ring finger on his right hand.

“For you Y/N. Always.” He said as he slipped your ring on.

Unfortunately Hoseok was only able to keep the ring on for about two weeks, before he eventually had to take it off because fans were starting to wonder why as all the rest of his accessories changed, he still kept the same ring on his right hand.

You never blamed him for taking the couple ring off. How could you blame him? He was protecting his fans and his job.

But even so, you couldn’t help but hate your bitterness from threatening to surface.

You loved Hoseok with every cell in your body.

You weren’t ever mad at Hoseok for protecting his job and fans, but that didn’t stop you from just wanting him to acknowledge you when the two of you were outside in public.


“How public do they have to be?” You mumbled as you saw yet another picture of Hoseok and Hani hugging at a park.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but envy how compared to when you and Hoseok were dating, Hani and him were able to publicly hug, hold hands, kiss, and most importantly, acknowledge each other’s existence.

Dammit Y/N. Get your shit together.

The sound of someone knocking the door caused you to look up from your phone.

Knock. Knock.

“Come in.”

In came a mysterious man who looked around his late 20s carrying a fresh basket of flowers.

“How are you feeling Y/N?”

Who is he?

“I’m sorry you are?” You asked.

Settling the basket on the couch, the man said,

“Oh. Sorry I forgot to to introduce myself, I’m Jason.”

Giving him a confused look, you tried your best to remember ever seeing this man, but there was not a single part of you that remembered a thing.

“I’m sorry do I know you?” You asked.

Nervously scratching the back of his neck, he said,

“We.. uh.. haven’t actually met before. I’m Jessica’s husband, Jason.”

Wait.

Jennifer has a husband??

Seconds passed by, as you continued to stare at Jason in complete shock.

Noticing how pale you suddenly looked, Jason worriedly asked,

“Are you okay Y/N? Are you feeling alright? Should I go get a doctor?”

“No. It’s okay.” You quietly said.

“I’m sorry for coming without a warning, but I wanted to come see you as soon as I can. I’m so so so sorry for what had happened. I’ll pay for all the hospital fees without a doubt. This was all my fault. I should have taken better care of her. I’m so sorry.” He abruptly apologized.

As you continue to stare at Jason, your mind was running nonstop at the words that were coming out of his mouth .

How is all this his fault?

When did Jessica get married?

Why did she still come back if she was married?

What does he mean by he should have taken better care of her?

Was Jessica sick?

After minutes of blankly staring into space, Jacob was the first to speak up again,

“Y/N. I’m sure you have a lot of questions to ask me, and I’ll willing to answer all of them. It’s just… um… I know this may be too much to ask from you, but I’m begging you, can you please drop the charges from Jessica?”

Finally turning your focus back to Jacob, something about the desperation and guilt in his eyes made all your previous anger suddenly simmer down.

Patting to the chair next to the bed, you said,

“Okay. Tell me everything.”

And everything is exactly what he told you.

From Jacob’s words, you learnt that both he and Jessica were once trainees under Big Hit Entertainment along with Hoseok. The three of them were best of friends, but when Hoseok started dating Jessica, Jacob and Hoseok’s friendship became bitter and eventually they stopped talking, leaving Jessica as their middle person. With Hoseok busy preparing for his upcoming debut, as bad as Jacob felt, he and Jessica started spending more and more time together which lead to Jessica cheating on Hoseok. After years without a planned debut ahead, Jacob and Jessica were tired of waiting and decided to leave Seoul and try to start their own business in Busan. Right before leaving Seoul that was when Jessica finally confessed  about her long affair with Jacob, and broke things off with Hoseok, which left him broken and hurt. The two eventually got married in Busan and their cafe were starting off on a good start. Just when they thought that everything in life were going smoothly after finding out that Jessica was pregnant when they’re first child, while cleaning the cafe one day, she accidentally slipped down a flight of stairs and lost their first child. Not being able to handle the sudden lost, Jacob said that Jessica started acting out of character and became emotionally unstable. While Jessica was resting at home, the business at the cafe started to worsen, which only made she more anxious. Eventually, Jacob said that Jessica’s condition had gotten so bad that their family doctor had to refer them to a psychiatrist who said that Jessica needed someone to tend her at all times.

Everything seemed fine for the first couple of days, but it wasn’t until Jacob got home late one day that he found a pile of uneaten pills at the bottom of their trash bin and when he went to confront Jessica, she was no where to be seen. When he went to ask the nurse who was living in their house, she didn’t know where Jessica went either. Jacob knew that without the medication Jessica was going to be highly dangerous to not only herself but also to the people around her.

“I’m so sorry.” Jacob repeated over and over again when he noticed how shocked you were.

“Don’t be.. this isn’t your fault.”

“I don’t expect you to believe everything I say. I’ll show you all of Jessica’s health records and I’ll even get her treated in this hospital to prove that she isn’t normally like this.”

“I’m so sorry about what happened.” You said seeing how torn Jacob looked.

“No Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t stop Jessica sooner. I know I’m asking a lot from you to drop the charges, but please can you consider it?”

Nodding, you handed him a tissue and said,

“I will.”


“What the FUCK?” Hoseok shouted the moment he read the news on his phone.

Rushing out of the bathroom, barely pulling his sweater down his torso, Jin asked, “What? What? What’s wrong?”

“What is she thinking??” Hoseok angrily asked.

With the members all joining Hoseok in the living room, they all confusingly looked at him while he was busy scrolling through the news article, hoping what he saw was a lie.

“Hoseok? What’s wrong?” Namjoon asked.

“She said it was an accident.” He answered.

“What accident?” Yoongi asked.

Looking at the members in complete disbelief, he said,

“Y/N dropped the charges and the company told the reporters that it was an accident. She dropped all the charges. What is she thinking? How stupid can she be?”

“Wait. Hyung. Calm down. Sit down and tell us what happened first.” Jimin insisted as he pulled a now panicking Hoseok down towards the couch, in which after countless long breaths, Hoseok told the members all about the news report that he had just read, and the long phone call that received days ago from Jason.

As the members all sat in complete silence letting every sink in, Hoseok was the first to turn to Namjoon and said,

“You need to go talk to her.”

“What? Me? Why me?” Namjoon asked.

“She won’t let me go visit her, so I can’t go ask her myself. And you’re the closest to her.” He pointed out.

“Hoseok. Bro. I have a lot of things to do right now. We have a concert coming up and we need to go and practice. Did you forget that? Shouldn’t we be focusing on our concert first? I’ll ask for you after the concert.”

“Namjoon. You don’t understand. I need to know please? Just a couple of minutes that’s all. Please?”

Seeing that for the first time in the last couple of days, Hoseok was willing to talk to the other members, Namjoon felt himself slowing nod to him, in which for the briefest second, he along with the other members were able to witness Hoseok’s bright smile.


“Y/N? Y/N? Y/N? Are you here?” Namjoon asked the moment he entered the hospital room.

After searching through the entire room and seeing that you were no where to be seen, Namjoon decided to wait patiently on the vacant couch in the room.

After a long walk by yourself, you finally returned to your room where you were welcomed with the sight of Namjoon quickly hopping off the couch.

“Namjoon? What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Hey. I’m here to.. visit you.” He awkwardly laughed.

Noticing how off Namjoon seemed, you eyed him suspiciously before taking a seat on your bed and said,

“Okay. Well come sit down.”

The moment he sat down, something instantly felt different. Namjoon seemed a lot more quiet, and when you looked at him, he seemed to be lost in thought.

“Is something wrong?” You asked.

“Huh? No.”

“If you say so..” You sighed.

After minutes of complete silence, with nothing but the sound of the clock ticking, Namjoon finally spoke up and said,

“I uh… I heard you dropped the charges… against…. Jennifer?”

“Um…Yes? Yes I did. Why is something wrong?” You asked.

“If you don’t mind me asking.. why did you… drop the charges?”

Giving him a questionable look, you knew without having to ask that Hoseok was the reason why Namjoon was here today, asking this question. So you let out a sigh before asking,

“Namjoon? Don’t you have a concert coming up… like next week? Shouldn’t you be practicing right now instead of coming all the way here to the hospital to ask me about the case?”

Letting out an awkward chuckle, he said,

“I um.. I care for you as a friend. I.. uh.. I wanted to know that you were okay.”

“He brought you here didn’t he?” You sighed.

“W-What? No.”

“Namjoon. You’re an awful liar.”

“Okay… so maybe he did ask me to come see you, but that’s not the only reason why I’m here. I care about you Y/N. I need to know why you suddenly dropped the charges without telling any of us.”

“I don’t really need to tell you anything. I’m an adult. I can make my own decision. Besides, what’s done is already done. I can’t change anything.” You shrugged.

“I’m asking you as a friend. Y/N. I care about you just like how the rest of the members do. We’re all worried about you.”

Seeing how serious Namjoon looked, you sighed,

“Okay. Fine. Yes. I dropped the charges because a few days ago Jacob, Jessica’s husband, came to find me and explain everything to me. Having heard what she’s going through, I decided to drop the charges, and because it was only going to attract negative attention to both of us. And… I figured that if the reporters were to dig any deeper that they might find out about Hoseok. I didn’t feel like he didn’t to be dragged into this.”

“You still care about him. Don’t you?” Namjoon asked.

“Does it even matter?” You sighed.

It’s over.

“He still cares about you Y/N.” Namjoon admitted.

“Cool.” You mumbled as you turned around to hide your saddened face.

You didn’t question how much Hoseok cared or missed you, he couldn’t change what’s already been broken. The two of you couldn’t go back and fix anything.

It’s over.

That’s that.


Three months later

With the other two members busying themselves with constant schedules, you were left back home, awaiting for the day that the doctors and company finally allow you to go back and practice.

At first you were happy to go back home and live with your parents since you were able to visit your friends often, but then as time went by, having that your friends had jobs, the plans came less frequent, and you were left rotting at home in your pyjamas. Not only were you tired of being a couch potato, but you had a growing fear that the fans would eventually forget you.

Here you were, three months after living back home, that you decided to call your manager in hopes that the company were finally ready to let you go back to practicing,

“Oppa please. I need to do something. Please? Like I could just go in and do vocal training? I’ll stay away from anything active like dancing or working out, but can I please just go back?”

“Y/N. You know we can’t do that. Your doctor said you need a lot of rest. You still need to go to physiotherapy. As much as we’d love to have you back, you know that we can’t say yes until the doctor gives us the okay.”

“But.. I feel so bad that I can’t interact with the fans at all. All I can do is post pictures once in a while. I want to meet them face to face. Elizabeth and Seoyoung are both so busy with their schedules. I want to promote the group too.” You pouted.

Although you knew that your manager wasn’t going to agree, you couldn’t help but feel even more disappointed when he completely shut you down and said,

“Y/N. For the last time, no. I know you want to play your part in the group, but we can’t risk you getting hurt. So for the time being, don’t do anything too active that will slow down your recovery process. Okay?”

Knowing that you weren’t going to be able to persuade your manager, you reluctantly agreed and ended the call.

“But.. I’m so bored.” You groaned into the silence of your house.

After an hour of flipping through channels on the television with nothing to watch, your boredom was quickly saved by a call from Rebecca, the owner of your favourite cafe shop.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! I’ve been trying to reach you for forever now! The moment I heard about your accident, I tried to go visit you, but your manager said that only people from your company and family were allowed, but that’s fine. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t been able to contact you. How are you? I was so worried about you.”

“Don’t worry I’m doing a lot better now. No need to worry about me. ” You assured.

After minutes of catching up, you learnt that the cafe had recently been really packed, and being the only one working in the cafe, she was finding it hard to work all by herself.

“I even tried to hire people, but none of them really knew their way around in the cafe.” She sighed.

Suddenly an idea popped into your head, and you excitingly asked her,

“I can come help you!”

“What? No Y/N! You need to rest. I wasn’t telling you all this to ask you for help. I just thought that we could catch up with each other since I haven’t talked to you in a while. I’ll find someone to help with the cafe don’t worry.”

Being so desperate to leave the house, you lied,

“No! Rebecca… I’m all better don’t worry about it. Please let me help you out. Please? Before I debuted, you’ve let me help behind the the counter remember? I know my way around the cafe. I can help you don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get hurt again. I feel like I should be asking your managers first just to know if you’re really okay to help.”

“No! Don’t worry. I’m totally fine. If you’re worried, I can just work as cashier. Please?”

“I… I don’t know Y/N. What if fans start coming in asking for photos and autographs? Are you sure your company is going to be okay with that?”

That’s perfect!

You were smiling on the inside just thinking about seeing the fans again that you immediately said,

“That’ll be perfect. This could be like my little event for them. I haven’t been able to interact with them face to face for awhile. This would be just perfect. Please? Pleease?” You begged.

Finally giving in, she said,

“Okay.. if it’s really okay with you, then okay. But if you get tired, you have to tell me right away okay?”

“Yes. Yes! Thank you so much!”


On the day of

Seeing that you were fulling clothed and ready to leave the house, your mom asked,

“Where are you going?”

“Oh. I’m meeting from friends at the cafe. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” You sweetly smiled.

Without a single ounce of suspicion, your mom told you to have fun.

Although you often rode the bus back to Seoul, this was the first time that you could barely contain your excitement. You knew that the moment your company found out that you planned this event without telling them, they were going to be mad, but you needed to thank your fans for supporting and waiting so patiently for you.

“Rebecca I’m here!” You greeted the moment you entered the cafe.

“Y/N!” She ran to you with open arms which you gladly accepted.

Taking a long whiff of the familiar smell of coffee, you instantly felt like you were home.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” You smiled.

“Well… if you’re ready, I’ll train you for a little bit and then we’ll be ready to open.”

“I’m ready when you are.”


“Hyung. Hyung! Hoseok hyung!” Taehyung continued to nudge Hoseok who was staring blankly out the car window while their manager were driving them to their next schedule.

“What?”

“Have you checked Y/N’s latest tweet?” The younger asked.

With just the mention of your name, Hoseok turned his full attention to Taehyung,

“What? What did she post? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Don’t worry. She just posted that she’s working at a cafe for a day as a special event to get to interact with her fans.”

“Oh. Y/N is working at the cafe that you like.” Yoongi said showing Hoseok your post.

Even though Hoseok knew that they were on a tight schedule, he had only one thing on his to-do list right now, and one thing only.

He had to go see you.

“Hyunggg. Are you thirsty? Don’t you feel thirsty? How about we go get a drink?” Hoseok asked.

The rest of the members snickered at Hoseok trying to coax the manager to drive by the cafe.

“Why? Do you want a drink?”

“Uh. Yeah. I’m thirsty. Right guys?” Hoseok asked while eyeing the other members for some support.

“Yeah. I’m thirsty too.” Jin quickly said.

Mentally thanking Jin, Hoseok turned to the manager and said,

“Hyung. You must be thirsty too. How about we go get a drink before we go to our next schedule? We have some  time right?”

Having heard the entire conversation just seconds ago, the manager knew exactly why Hoseok was so persistent.

“Hm. Okay. The cafe that Y/N is working at right now right?”

“H-Huh? Uh… yeah.” Hoseok blushed.


Once the van arrived to the cafe, the manager turned to the members and said,

“I’m going to go and get our drinks. Tell me what you guys want.”

While the members were all blurting out their order, Hoseok was staring through the window where he got a slight glimpse of you at the counter taking orders.

I missed her.

Hoseok automatically frowned at the sight of you clenching your jaw in pain.

She’s still hurt.

“Hoseok. Jung Hoseok. What do you want to drink?” The manager asked the dazed boy.

“O-Oh. An iced americano please.”

“Okay. I’ll get the drinks now.”

“Wait. Hyung. Can… you help me tell her.. to be careful of her body..?”

Giving him a nod, the manager quickly got out of the cafe and entered the cafe that was filled with fans holding supporting signs and wishing you a fast recovery.


“Next.” You called for as you held tightly onto the edge of the counter to steady yourself.

“Are you okay?” Rebecca asked the moment you saw your face scrunching in pain.

“I’m okay.. Just have been standing a lot.” You weakly laughed.

“Let me go get a chair for you.”

As the owner ran to get you a chair, you turned towards the line of customer and you were surprised to see BTS’ manager standing right in front of you. You instantly knew why he was here. No one but him and Hoseok knew about this cafe, and you were certain that their manager wouldn’t willingly drive here by himself since it was far from the company.

“Oh. Hello.” You warmly smiled while trying to hod in the pain.

With a slight nod, he asked,

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been okay.”

“Y/N! Here. I found a stool. There’s a back to it so you can sit back while working at the cashier. If it’s too much just tell me, and you can go home.” The owner said while giving you an apologetic look.

“Hey.. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Thank you for the chair. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” You said while giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Are you in a lot of pain?” He worriedly asked.

“Huh? Uh.. no. I’m okay. Just.. a little tired.” You mumbled hoping that he didn’t see you clench your palms in order to subdue the pain.

“They’re all very worried about you. They were sad that they couldn’t visit you anymore since you went back home.”

“Yeah.. I still get messages from them asking how I’m doing.” You slightly smiled.

“Ahh.. Well I should stop holding the line now. Can I get 6 iced americano and 2 ice chocolate.”

As the manager was paying, you had endless question running through your head, but nothing came out.

How are the members doing?

Are they getting enough sleep?

Are they eating well?

Are they forgetting to eat their meals?

Are they skipping meals for their upcoming concerts?

Are they all dieting?

Are they healthy?

Are they happy?

Is… Is he happy?

Is.. he happy with her?

Does he still think of me?

“Y/N?” The manager called out.

Clearing your thoughts, you said,

“Oh. Sorry. Do you need your receipt?”

Shaking his head, just as he was about to move to the other end of the counter to retrieve his drinks, he turned around and said,

“Be care of your body.”

“Huh? Oh.. Thank you.” You smiled.

“He told me to tell you that.” He said before walking off.

Without realizing, your lips stretched into a wide smile and you instantly felt better.

He does care…


Needless to say, when the cafe finally closed, your body was screaming in pain but you were still proud of yourself for pulling through.

“Thank you so much for helping me out today. I owe you big time.” The owner smiled.

“How about.. free drinks for a week?” You winked.

Laughing she said,

“How about free drinks from now on? Thanks to you, today was one of our busiest day. I owe you one. Big time.”

“Can’t say no to that can I?” You laughed.

Once the cafe was all cleaned up, you grabbed all the presents that you fans gave you and said goodbye to Rebecca.

“I’ll see you soon!” You smiled as you headed out the door only to be met with the face of your very unamused manager.

“Oh. Oppa… Hi.” You waved.

Without returning your greeting, he asked,

“If we hadn’t found out about your ‘special event’ for the fans today on line, would you have told us?”

Seeing how upset and worried he looked, you knew better than to talk back, so instead you just apologized.

“I’m so sorry. I knew that if I did tell you ahead of time, the company would automatically shut me down. So I had to plan this secretly.”

Letting out a loud sigh, your manager said,

“I know Y/N. We’re just worried about you. We all just want you to get better soon.”

“I know… and I’m sorry for worrying you guys.”

Seeing how tired you look, your manager linked your arm around his for support and the two of you started walking towards the company car,

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.”

“Does this mean you’re not mad at me?”

“You wish.” He said shaking his head.

Pouting at his answer, you decided to stay quiet as fatigue started to kick in.

Once settled in the car, you frowned at your manager’s worried look as he said,

“Don’t keep pushing yourself like this. You need to be careful of your body. We all really care about you.”

I know. I know you all do.

“Okay.” You promised as you stared out the window admiring the dark city night that you’ve missed seeing for so long.


One Month Later

“You want me to be the special MC for next week’s music show?” You asked, practically jumping with joy.

“Yes. Since we got the okay from the doctor, we thought that maybe you would be interested in being on the show. I know this isn’t much of a massive schedule, but we thought that you would like this one? We also have a segment that where we thought maybe you would like to perform. We reached out to Davichi and asked if they were willing to be on a special stage with one of the MCs, and they said that they would gladly do it. How does that sound? ” the PD said.

“Yes. Yes! I’ll do it!” You happily smiled.

“Great! So they were wondering what song you would like to sing with them. They said that they were open to anything even if it may not be their song.”

“I can choose?”

“Yes. If there any song that you feel extra special about? Or really like? A song that you are really passionate about?”

“Yes. Davichi’s This Love.”

This was the one song in particular that you’ve recently fallen in love with and felt emotionally attached to, and you were happy that the PD agreed to it.

You knew fully well that you didn’t choose this song just because it was one of Davichi’s, nor was it just because it was from of your favourite drama, but instead this was going to be your way of saying goodbye to Hoseok. Officially.


One week later

“Wait. I have to go interview each group?” You asked the manager the moment you got the script.

“Yes. Apparently that’s part of your role as the special MC. Why? What’s wrong?” Your manager asked.

“It’s… nothing…” You mumbled before you quietly walked out of the waiting room.

Suddenly you felt more nervous about the interview rather than your special performance with Davichi.


“So.. we’re going to have to do door by door and interview each group right?” Alfred, Seoyung’s younger brother and also the special MC of the day asked.

“Yeah. Basically.” You sighed.

“I heard.. BTS are performing today. I can’t wait to interview them!”

Oh.. right.

Suddenly just the thought of Hoseok made your palms sweat. It has been a couple of months since you have last seen him, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to start seeing him again just yet. You were still too raw from the break up, that you were certain that you were no where near ready to interview him.

Suddenly a thought came to mind and you turned to Alfred and asked,

“Wait. We can still interview a group even if one of their members aren’t around right? Since we’re running on a schedule we can’t.. just wait for all the members to be present. Right?”

“I uh. I think so. I think that’s okay. A lot of the interviews don’t always have all the members present. I think?”

“Great!”

Grabbing your phone out, you quickly sent Jungkook a text message,

Hey! I’m coming for a quick interview. Are all the members in the waiting room?

If.. he’s not around.. we can just interview them now right?

“Where do you want to start?” Alfred asked.

Luckily you didn’t have to make much of a decision because Jungkook quickly texted back,

Heyy  We’re all in the waiting room except for Hoseok hyung. He’s out right now. Why?

Perfect.

Without answering back, you tucked your phone back into your pocket and told Alfred you were going to go to BTS’ waiting room first.

Knock. Knock.

“Come in!”

“Hello boys!” You cheerfully greeted the moment you entered the waiting room.

Letting out a sigh of relief to see that Hoseok wasn’t in the room, you happily smiled at each member.

“Y/N!” Taehyung happily greeted while running up to you, until he saw Alfred holding a camera in which he quickly stopped his tracks.

Chuckling, you said,

“It’s okay. The camera isn’t recording just yet.”

“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked.

“I’m today’s special MC. I’m suppose to go around and ask each group different questions that their fans want to know.”

“Hoseok isn’t here right?” You asked.

“Yeah.. uh.. he went out… Should we go get him?” Namjoon asked.

“No! Uh.. Don’t do that. It’s fine.” Perfect.

“Um.. okay and who is this ?” Namjoon asked nodding to the now shy Alfred who was practically hiding behind you with the camera in his hand.

“Hello sunbaenim! I’m Alfred from the new group Phoenix ” He bowed.

“Ah. Just call me hyung it’s fine. No need for the formality.” Namjoon smiled as the two shook hands.

As you were busy greeting each member, you had completely forgotten about the interview until Alfred nudged you and whispered,

“Noona.. We still have an interview that we need to do.”

A slight tinge of red ran across your cheeks and you gestured him to the turn the camera back on.

“Okay so just like I said, we’re here to ask you some questions that your fans are most curious about.”

As Alfred gave you the thumbs up to indicate that the camera was recording, you gathered up the remaining six members and started the interview,

“As today’s special MC, I was given the role to help your fans ask you some questions, are you all ready?”

As all the members nodded, you said,

“The one question that most fans were interested in were what are your ideal types.”


“Hoseok?” Hani asked the moment she noticed that Hoseok stop replying to her questions.

It has been months since Hoseok has last seen you, and for the first time in awhile, he thought that he was starting to come to terms with the fact that the two of you ended, but hearing that he was going to be in the same building as you made Hoseok anxious.

I wonder how is she now.

I wonder if she’s happy.

I wonder if she’s healthy.

I wonder how well she’s recovered.

I wonder….

I wonder if she misses me.

“Hoseok?” Hani nudged again, this time stopping Hoseok’s trail of thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Are you okay? I was asking you whether you were going to be able to come over this Christmas because my parents wanted to meet you.” She smiled.

Hoseok weakly smiled at her, not knowing what to say.

Hani was beautiful. Gorgeous without a doubt, but no matter what he tried, Hoseok was unable to get you out of his mind.

Even though Hani was sometimes able to stop him from thinking about you, it was always temporary. He felt pathetic, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting towards you.

Finally speaking up, Hoseok asked,

“Your parents really want to meet me?”

“Yeah. They’ve been dying to meet you.” She laughed.

Hoseok hesitated for a second,

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea..”

“It’s been a couple of months Hoseok. My parents are going to get suspicious if you don’t finally come visit them.”

“I’ll see if I can fit it into my schedule okay?” Hoseok answered the moment he entered the waiting room, only to stop at the sight of you smiling at all the members.

It was that smile. That genuine smile that Hoseok missed. He missed seeing that smile around him. He missed how his heart fluttered the moment you smile at him. He missed how happy you made him feel the moment you smiled. He missed the feeling of your happiness radiating off of your body the moment you smiled. God. He missed you so damn much, and it took all he will to not run up to you and hug you.


“Oh. Hoseok-ah!” Jin called the moment he saw the younger one stare in complete shock.

You immediately froze at the mention of his name.

What…? I thought that he wasn’t going to be here.

As you slowly turned around, the moment your eyes met, you no longer thought about the remaining members around you, nor did you remember that Alfred had the camera on, or that Hani was staring at you with an expression what you couldn’t quite understand. At that very moment, it seemed as though you and Hoseok were the only two people in the room, and it wasn’t until then that you realized just how much you truly missed him.

Sure. Some time to time you did think about him, but without seeing him, the yearn for him was bearable but now that he was standing just meters away from you, you felt yourself slowly crumble.

It wasn’t until Namjoon nudged you that your eye contact broke.

“Don’t make it so obvious now Y/N.” He whispered.

Clearing your throat, you mumbled,

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And turned your attention to Hani, who was happily linking her arms around Hoseok’s.

Although you often saw pictures of the two together, you never imagined how much more it would hurt to see the both of them together, right in front of you.

Great.  

As you tried to happily greet the two, you noticed how fake and hard your smile was, and you just hoped that the camera won’t be able to pick that up.

It wasn’t until Alfred signalled you that the camera was turned off that you felt your legs finally give in.

Thankfully Namjoon was right beside you and supported some of your weight. You legs felt like jello from all the standing.

“Sorry.” You awkwardly laughed as you tried to steadily stand on your own.

“Are you okay?” Jin worriedly asked as he too carefully supported you on your wobbling two feet.

Nodding you said,

“I’m okay. Thanks. It’s just been so a while since I’ve stood for so long let alone on these heels.”

Nodding at both Jin and Namjoon to remove their hands for you to try and stand on your own, you were able to stumble a couple of steps towards the door until one of your ankles gave you, but luckily Hoseok quickly ran towards your side to support you.

“Be careful Y/N.” He warned.

The sudden close proximity between the two of you left you feeling lightheaded and you hated yourself for feeling to weak.

Hoseok was your weakness.

And you hated yourself for not being able to control your furiously beating heart.

“Thanks.” You mumbled as you shook his strong arms off your body.

“Noona! Are you okay? Should I go get you a wheelchair? Or your manager? Or maybe a cane? Or cruches?” Alfred worriedly asked.

“I’m fine. It’s okay.” You assured.

“Are you sure? I can carry you to your waiting room.” Hoseok insisted while trying to lessen the distance between the two of you.

Instantly taking a step back and avoiding his hard stare, you said,

“It’s okay. I’m fine. We have a lot more groups to go to.”

“Y/N.. I don’t.. think…” Hoseok stuttered.

“Let’s go Alfred.” You nudged the younger one.

“O-Oh. Okay. Let’s go. I’ll support you.” Alfred said while giving you his arm to hold onto.

“Hoseok-ah?” You called out right before you walked out of the door.

“Huh?” He quickly ran up to your side the moment you called for him.

“Watch the special stage that I will be on with Davichi at the end of the show. It’s… for you.” You calmly said before you walked out with the help of Alfred, who was giving you a just as confused look as Hoseok did.

“What was that all about?” Alfred asked.

“Nothing.” You mumbled.

“So.. Should I pretend to also ignore the fact you were sobbing after the dry rehearsal this morning?”

“You saw?” You froze.

“I’m not dumb Y/N. I saw how swollen your eyes looked after the rehearsal. I mean I’m not doubting that you can’t get emotional over a song, but to actually starting sobbing on stage? Does this song have a special meaning for you?” He asked.

Letting out a sigh, you said,

“The PD told me to pick a song that I’m really passionate about, and this song just happened to be it. This performance is just me thanking someone who has always been by my side, and also finally saying goodbye to them.”

Frowning at your saddened face, he asked,

“Why are you saying goodbye to someone who you’re thankful for?”

Looking at Alfred straight in the eye with tears threatening to fall you said,

“Because I need to let go of them to be happy.”


Just you tried calming your racing heart before the live performance, from the corner of your eye you saw Hoseok quickly approach you.

“Hey.” He said breathlessly from all the running.

“Hi.” You tightly smiled.

“I just… uh.. wanted to wish you good luck on your performance. I know you’ll do fine, I just.. uh.. wanted to wish you good luck anyways. And I’ll watch the performance for sure. Don’t worry. In fact I think I’m going to be watching from here.” He smiled.

Taking one last good look at Hoseok, you suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to cry just thinking that this was going to be your final goodbye.

There was no denying the fact that you still loved him, but you knew you had no choice but to end it. Finally.

“Thank you.” You mouthed just as the stage workers were rushing you and Davichi onto the stage.

The moment you got on stage you were overwhelmed with the amount of fans that were holding signs for you and Davichi.

They’re here. For me. For us.

The moment the whole auditorium started to play the soundtrack, you thought about nothing but the lyrics.

For once you weren’t thinking about Hoseok.

For once you weren’t thinking about Hani.

For once you were thinking about your fans.

And for them, you sang your heart out.

For him, you sang the lyrics with all the passion that you had in you.

For him, you sang for him.

One Last Time.


If I turn back time

Will the memories get erased too?

I know I’m saying thing

That I can’t even do

I’m just saying this out of guilt

For making things hard for you

For making you live in tears

But for me

I can’t live outside of you

For me, only times that are coloured by you

Are passing by

I love you, I thank you

For holding me so warmly

I can live because of this love

I guess love is like that

No matter what you say

It doesn’t feel like it’s filling up

Even if I think it’s just  my greed

These feelings won’t go away easily

You know, for me

I can’t live outside of you

For me, only times that are coloured by you

Are passing by

I love you, I thank you

For holding me so warmly

I can live because of this love

If I go back, will I be able to endure it?

All those hard time?

When I see you, who isn’t shaking

My lips tremble

You know, for me

I can’t live outside of you

For me, only times that are coloured by you

Are passing by

I love you, I thank you

For golden gem so warmly

I can live because of this love

I can live because of this love


The moment the music ended and the fans were screaming from admiration, reality had finally set in. You just sang live with one of your favourite duets. You just sang live in front of your fans. You just said goodbye… to one of the most important person to you.

As the worker hurried the three of you off the stage, Davichi thanked you for the amazing performance and you thanked them back saying that you would love to perform with them again.

Minkyung asked,

“ Are you okay? You’re crying a little…”

I am?

You automatically touched your cheeks in which you were surprised to feel how wet they were.

“Are you okay?” Haeri asked.

Embarrassed, you quickly wiped your tears and said,

“Yes. I’m pretty fine. The song.. is just so nice. I just get emotional every time I listen to it, let alone sing it along with you two.”

While checking the recording, you turned around and was both happy and disappointed to see that Hoseok was no where to be seen.

I guess.. this is goodbye.

The moment Hoseok entered the waiting room with his face completely fallen and tears rimming his eyes, Hani quickly approached his side and sighed,

“Why are you doing this to yourself Hoseok?” Hani sighed.

“Doing what?” He said wiping the tears away.

“You can’t keep hiding all these things from her. You’re clearly hurting just as much as she is, if not even more. Why not just tell her the truth? You can’t keep hiding everything from her. This will only make her more mad.”

“I know.”

“So? Why not do something about it. She loves you Hoseok. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. You still have time. I know that you still love her too, so why not just go explain everything to her now, I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“You know I can’t do that. Telling her won’t make this any easier for either of us. If I tell her, I know that we’re bound to secretly try and meet up, and that won’t be any better for either of us. This… is the best thing for us.”

“So what? You’re going to just hope that five years from now, she’s going to wait for you?”

“I don’t know… If she does, I’ll be there waiting for her. But.. if she doesn’t, then I guess this is it.” He said with tears in his eyes.

“Are you planning to just hide this from her for forever? How many more secrets are you going to hide from her Hoseok? As a friend to… a friend, I care for you. And you deserve to be just as happy as she deserves too.”

“I know. I know. Just let me do this. One Last Time.”


Six Months Ago

“Hoseok-ah.” One of the manager called him the moment he entered the dorm.

“Yeah?”

“Where have you been all day?”

“I was at the hospital why?”

“Visiting Y/N again?”

“Yeah. We’ll becoming a lot closer now.” He smiled.

As the manager hesitated, Hoseok asked,

“Um.. is there something wrong?”

“No… Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to tell you that Bang PD wants to talk to you tomorrow first thing in the morning.”

Although Hoseok found it odd for the Bang PD to only want to see him alone, he didn’t think much of it, and told the manager that he will go early tomorrow morning.


Later that night

“Namjoon?” Hoseok asked the moment he entered Namjoon’s studio.

After a few taps on his keyboard, Namjoon turned around to face Hoseok and said,

“What’s up?”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Uh…. Not entirely. Is there something that you need me to do?”

“Yeah.. Bang PD is meeting me tomorrow and I don’t think I’ll be able to visit Y/N tomorrow. Can you go for me? You don’t have to stay for long, unless you want to. I just want to make sure that she’s okay.”

“Um. Sure. No problem. Do you know what the meeting is about?”

Shaking his head, Hoseok said,

“Thanks. I have no idea. Our manager wouldn’t tell me. Can’t be anything big.”

Having accidentally hear Bang PD and their manager’s conversation, Namjoon knew exactly what the meeting was going to be about, but seeing the smile on Hoseok’s face, made it impossible for him to say anything.

“Okay.. well.. good luck.”

Smiling with amusement, Hoseok said,

“Um.. thanks?”

Once the conversation came to an end, Hoseok excused himself and once again thanked Namjoon.

Letting out a loud sigh, Namjoon mumbled,

“I’m sorry Hoseok-ah.”


The Next Day

“You want me to what?!” Hoseok almost shouted.

Being slightly taken back by Hoseok’s out burst, Bang PD warned,

“Lower your voice. I need you to go on a date with Hani in which there will be reporters who are going to follow you and take pictures.”

“What? Why would I do that?” Hoseok asked.

“As a publicity stunt. Simple.”

“But.. But.. I don’t get it… Why do I need do that?”

“If you would’ve at least paid a little attention to the things surrounding you, besides only going to the hospital to visit Y/N, you would know that your fans are getting suspicious. They’re not stupid Hoseok. They see you constantly going in and out of the hospital. And that’s not even the most important part. You know what the most important part is? With just enough snooping, I bet you, the fans will be able to put everything together. They’ll find out not only that you’re visit Y/N everyday, but also the fact that you’re ex girlfriend is going to be charged with attempted murder, because of you.”

Seeing that Hoseok was about to say something, Bang PD continued,

“Hoseok. You love her, I get it. But have you for once thought about yourself? Have you for once thought about the group? Have you for once thought about your fans? How are they going to feel when they find out about this? Are you willing to risk the group’s future because of your sudden decision to play the role of knight in shining armour for a girl, who might I remind you, you promised to stop meeting. And look where are you right now. Enough is enough Hoseok. You need to start thinking about your role as Jhope in Bangtan and not just as Jung Hoseok.”

Hoseok knew that everything that Bang PD said was correct, but how could he just do this behind your back, especially since now that your relationship was getting better.

“Surely there has to be a different way. A diversion of some sort?”

Starting to get annoyed, Bang PD said,

“Jung Hoseok. you think I wanted to do this? You think I want to start a dating rumour out of no where? Do you think that I didn’t think about how you or your fans were going to feel? I have no choice but to do this, why? Because it’s my job to protect you. To protect the job that you worked so hard to achieve. To protect the success that you and the boys have worked to hard for. To protect your future as Jung Hoseok and as Jhope of Bangtan. I want what’s best for you too.”

Dammit.

He knew that he had no choice but to say yes.

He knew that he couldn’t risk the future of Bangtan or hurting the fans.

He knew what was the right thing to do.

Even if it wasn’t what he wanted.

I’m so sorry Y/N.


Five Years Later

You weren’t hoping for anything.

Nope.

You weren’t thinking that maybe Hoseok would come back.

Nope.

You weren’t going to hope that he would come back one day and date you again.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

“Ugh. Who am I kidding?” You groaned while frustratingly rubbing your face.

You hated to admit it, but you’ve been dreading for the five long years to pass so the two of you could be together again.

This time.

Publicly.

But here you are, a month and five years after the break up, and Hoseok hasn’t called you like promised.

Asshole.

Just as you were about to rub your eyes in frustration, your makeup artist quickly stopped you while sending death glares your way.

“Sorry.” You weakly smiled.

“Everything okay?” She asked as she continued to work on your eyebrows.

“Everything is fine.. So fine.” You sighed.

“Boy problems?” She asked raising her eyebrow.

“Don’t have anything.” You bitterly laughed.

By now you couldn’t tell whether being single was a good thing or not.

Seeing how sour the mood suddenly turned she asked,

“So.. what’s the special occasion that you’re suddenly switching up your attire and makeup? Do you have a special event to go to?”

Shrugging your shoulders you said,

“I have no idea. All my manager told me was that I should dress a little nicer today.”

“Well.. I’ll try my best.” She smiled.


“You want me to go on We Got Married??” Hoseok gasped the moment his manager told him the big news.

“Yeah. The company thought that it would be a good source of advertisement for the group, and it’s kind of like a follow up for the public after your breakup with Hani.”

Although the break up had happened three years ago, up until this day, Hoseok was still getting questions about why the sudden break up.

The answer was honestly simple. The relationship was meant to be a publicity stunt, and publicity stunt it was, except somewhere along the time Hani had started catching feelings, which is why they ended on such a short notice. The moment Hani had confessed her growing feelings for him, Hoseok felt so impossibly guilty that he practically begged the company to end the relationship. Ever since the break up, Hoseok had made sure to stay out of the public’s eye unless he was working.

Hoseok spent most days practicing until he was bone dead tired, anything to just get you off of his mind.

Here he was a month and five years post break up, and he couldn’t find the courage in him to talk to you again.

Hoseok still loved you without a doubt, but he was worried that you wouldn’t want him back. That maybe he wasn’t the right one for you. Or worse, that you’ve moved on.


“Wait. What? We Got Married?” You gasped the moment you entered the main elevator to head up the MBC entertainment building.

“Yes. You’re going to introduce yourself first to the PD, and then they’ll tell you a little background information and rules and then you’ll have your first interview today.” Your manager said.

“Okay. Right. But why am I only finding out about this now? And why did no one ask me about how I feel?” You asked with frustration slowly building up.

Seeing how frustrated and betrayed you looked, your manage sighed and said,

“Y/N.. we’re doing this for you okay? We all knew how guilty you’ve been feeling ever since you started promoting with the group again. We thought that this would be the best way to allow the public to get to know you better.”

Your manager wasn’t lying when he said that the company did this for your sake, but there was a very important part of the reason why you had to be on the show, that he purposely left out.

A very. Important. Part of the reason behind this decision that he made sure to keep a secret.

“But… our dating ban just ended…” You said, practically hinting to the manager why you didn’t want to be on the show.

Pretending to be oblivious, he said,

“We’re doing this for you Y/N. You’ve been saying how you wanted more schedules, so here you have it.”

“If my love life goes downhill from now on, I’m suing you.” You mumbled, half joking.

“You’ll thank me.”

Something about the amusement on your manager’s face made you feel excitement slowly build from within.


Having been a big fan of the show, you felt weird to hear the interviewer ask,

“Tell me about your ideal husband.”

Trying to calm down your nerves, you said,

“Um.. Personality wise I like someone who is very outgoing and talkative because I’m very shy and it takes me a long time to warm up to someone. I want to meet someone who can be both my best friend and husband? I absolutely love someone who also loves dogs, is very sweet, caring, and very hard working. I find men who are very hardworking to be very attractive.”

Letting out a giggle, the interview asked,

“And what about appearances?”

“Um… looks have never been my first priority when liking someone. I always feel like appearances are more of a bonus? I mean by the end of the day, when we’re all old and wrinkly, we’re almost all the same.” You shrugged.

“Do you have some idols that you would like as your virtual husband?”

Without thinking you instantly thought about one person, and one person only.

Jung Hoseok.

Trying to be subtle you thought of a few more idols before you said,

“Uh.. Daesung from Big Bang or… Jhope from BTS”

“And why do you think that?”

Feeling a little thrown off by the question, trying your best to stay calm you said,

“I really like how they are both have a very happy and upbeat personality. And… they have a very charming and beautiful smile.”

Once the interview came to an end, the writer and producer of the show laid out the contract and told you about the rules and regulations for the show.

“We for sure would love to have you on the show, and before you sign the contract, we wanted you to know that, although the marriage is virtual, we hope that you are able to put in your full effort as if you were actually in a relationship. Meaning that we hope that if you are in a relationship with someone, that you do tell us honestly, and we will go ahead and find someone else. It only seems fair that we tell you know, because we don’t want to disappoint your potential partner, or mostly importantly the viewers.” The producer said.

Do I really want to do this?

Am I ready to do this?

Am I ready… to move on?

After fighting with yourself for countless months, this program seemed like the perfect opportunity to help you move on, so without a chance to second guess, you said,

“I understand. And I promise you that I will put in my full effort into this show.”

Feeling pleased with your answer, the producer said,

“Great. Well. Once you’ve signed the contract just give it to my assistant, and we’ll call you as soon as we’re ready to add you into the show.”


Once you got back into the dorm, you weren’t nervous anymore, instead you suddenly felt sad knowing that you had to put an official end to your five year promise. Although the two of you hadn’t talked in years, it still hurt to think that this would be the last time to say anything.

Suddenly feeling emotional, holding in the tears you slowly opened your phone and searched for his name.

Hey.

Almost as if he was waiting for your message, he answered within seconds,

Hi.

How are you?

I’m okay. How are you?

I’ve had better days.

Me too. I miss you.

You felt your heart clench after reading his message. As much pain and tears as Hoseok had brought you, you couldn’t find yourself to hate him anymore, because besides all the sad times, Hoseok had also brought you so many happy and beautiful moments while the two of you were together.

Did you miss him?

Hell yeah.

So much that it hurt you every time to even think about him.

Without hesitating, you sent back,

I miss you too.

You loved him without a doubt, but like you promised the producer, you were to walk into your virtual marriage with the full intention to treat the marriage like a real one, so as much as it hurt, you had to end whatever relationship you and Hoseok have. No matter how much pain you would be in.


As happy as Hoseok wanted to be to have you suddenly talk to him again, he knew that he couldn’t do this. Not right now at least. After talking to the producer of the show, he had just promised that even though the marriage was virtual, that he would walk into the relationship single and truthful. So with a heavy heart he wrote,

I love you Y/N. With all my heart. I’m so sorry that I had caused you so much pain. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t the one to start the conversation after all these years. I was scared that maybe you would be better off without me, but I was too much of a coward to say a single goodbye. There are so many things that I want to talk to you about, but I’m sorry that I once again won’t be able to say anything. I’m so sorry. I promised you five years ago that I would wait for you with open arms until you decide to come back, but I don’t think I can do that any longer. I.. I have to move on Y/N. You deserve someone better. You deserve only the best and I’m so sorry that I can’t be the one. I’m sure the next time you see me you’ll hate me even more.. I can’t be selfish and ask you to wait for me for an entire year. I will always love you. With all my heart and I am so so sorry Y/N.

With tears falling down his face, Hoseok heavy-heartedly pressed the sent button.

Although he knew that it was already over, Hoseok couldn’t help but clench onto his phone while waiting for your response.

I’m so sorry Y/N.

After five agonizing minutes, you had sent a nice and short response,

Okay. Stay healthy and happy. Thanks for everything.

Having known you for so long, Hoseok knew that your brief message showed much less than how you truly felt. He might not have thought that you were heartbroken, but Hoseok knew that you weren’t happy.

And he thought that it was all he’s fault.


Two Weeks Later

As for today’s plan, the staff members had asked you on the day of your first interview where you would like for your first encounter to be, and without a doubt, you told them about your favourite cafe.

And here you were a two week later, walking into the cafe on a chilly winter morning with a mic hooked up to your shirt and cameras following you.

“I’m so nervous.” You mumbled as you settled down on a vacant table at the back of the cafe.

After fifteen minutes, and without your future husband in sight, you decided to take charge and order both of you some drinks.

What should I get?

Maybe it was the atmosphere of the cafe, or maybe your mind was still foggy from Hoseok, because you couldn’t help but remember all the times that you and Hoseok went on coffee dates where the two of you bickered for minutes just deciding what to get.

You must have been too in depth in your own thoughts that you didn’t hear the front door open. It wasn’t until you heard his voice that you immediately turned around.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late. There was a major traffic ja-“ Hoseok stopped mid-sentence the moment he saw your equally surprised face.

Oh. My. God.

After seconds of complete silence, you squeaked out,

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He sweetly smiled.

For the first time in what seemed like years, the two of you found yourself truly happy.

“I’m Y/N.” You introduced.

“Hello. I’m Jhope, or you can call me Hoseok.” He smiled extending out his hand.

The hand that you hadn’t held in years.

The hand that was soft and yet so rough at the same time.

The hand that you missed holding yours during these cold winter days.

Accepting his hand, you had completely forgotten about the cameras and had your focus panned only on him.

“So.. you’re my… wife?” He asked, trying his best to hold in his excitement and happiness.

“I think so.” You blushed.

To say the two of you were happy would have been an understatement. The two of you were more than happy, way more than happy. This was probably the happiest either of you had ever been since the break up, so it was no surprise that after the first shooting ended that during the individual interviews the two of you were smiling from ear to ear.


“How do you feel after meeting your husband?” The interviewer asked.

“Happy. I like it.” You happily smiled.


“How do you feel after meeting your wife?” The interviewer asked Hoseok.

“Perfect. The two of us really seem to match.” He happily smiled.

“You seem really happy.” She pointed out.

“I am. I really am.” He admitted.


Just as you thought your life with Hoseok had officially come to a complete end, life seemed to have given the two of you another chance. Just..

One. Last. Time.

anonymous asked:

KYLIE AND SU-MI ARE AN UNEXPECTED BUT AMAZING DUO. love the combination! whats their dynamic like? like how do they interact with each other?

I KNOW when it came to me I was so excited, I’m so happy you feel the same lkjsdfsdf

Kye and Su-Mi are both very quiet so their relationship stays professional for the first year or so being in a duet. But enough traveling together loosens them both up, and Su’s snark starts coming out a bit.

Even though Kylie is more experienced doing the pop-star motions (tours, variety shows, interviews, etc) Su-Mi tends to talk to press more often. This leads to Su-Mi sometimes answering on behalf of Kye, little good-natured things like “Kye probably likes it too” or “Kye agrees”– it’s a running gag because Su’s usually right on the money, which is confirmed with simple nods from Kye. But occasionally Su will drop something really odd like “I don’t know about clothes but Kye wants to own a pet iguana” and Kye freezes in the middle of nodding to interrupt like “–no I don’t want that. I never said that” and Su will laugh like “You never say anything though??” and it’s cute and funny in a sedated way.

Kye becomes pretty protective of Su-Mi over time because Su is on the Autistic spectrum and has anxiety. The struggles with extreme exposure and publicity sometimes get to them and they need to take breaks. Kylie is a little awkward with being tender but learns to sharply identify the signs.

Former Pentatonix Singer Avi Kaplan is Happily in Love in New Video 'Sweet Adeline': Premiere

Almost exactly one month after Avi Kaplan announced that he was “taking a step back” from Pentatonix in an emotional Facebook video, the singer is already proving that his post-Pentatonix days are still going to involve making music. But rather than continuing the poppy a cappella material he created with his former group, Kaplan has a new venture: Folk music.

“That’s really always been the music that I’ve been in love with, always the music that I’ve written growing up,” Kaplan explains to Billboard. “Even through Pentatonix, folk music has been really my heart and soul.”

Behold, Avriel & the Sequoias, a name which includes Kaplan’s birth name and a tribute to where he grew up, about 30 minutes from Sequoia National Park in California. Kaplan released his first EP, Sage and Stone, Friday (June 9), with five songs he can’t wait for fans to hear.

One of those tracks is a lighthearted love song titled “Sweet Adeline,” which Billboard is premiering in light of the EP release. Billboard caught up with Kaplan before the EP dropped, finding out more about the song and video, as well as excitement for his new venture. Check out the video and our interview with Kaplan below.

What’s the story behind “Sweet Adeline”?

It is just a super, super happy love song. You know, everyone is always searching for love and this is about the love that you know it’s a risk with this person, but it doesn’t even matter because you are just so in love with them that you just really can’t help yourself and that’s why that song is full of joy and it just is a love song.

I put whistling in there because when I was younger, my mom always said that when I was super, super happy, I would just whistle a bunch. I kind of wanted to capture that.

Who are the other people in the video?

That’s my touring band. I decided when I started the solo project that I really did want to have a band behind me. I didn’t really want to be playing any tracks or do anything like that. I just feel like folk music is so organic that even if you can’t recreate the entire track live at that time, if you can strip it down and make a really beautiful raw arrangement of it, it’s more true to its form than playing a bunch of tracks.

Was your eagerness to play folk music why you felt it was right to step back from Pentatonix?

I still want to do music with my whole heart, so now that I’m stepping back, I don’t want to hold them back. So I’m stepping back, and I’m doing the music that really means a lot to me. It’s just a new chapter of my life, and it’s a new chapter for them as well. And I think that we’re both really excited for each other. We’re definitely a family.

Does it feel a little odd to not be singing super low since you were the bass vocalist in the group?

It’s funny, because it’s like, it’s always been there. It’s always been an undertone, I don’t know if you could feel it a little bit from some of the solos that I do in Pentatonix, but this is definitely the truest version of me. And that’s why I named my solo project Avriel and the Sequoias, because Avriel is my full name. I go by “Avi” because it’s easier, but Avriel is my full name, and the Sequoias, that represents my home. So it’s the truest version of me, it’s where I came from.

It’s really fun for me because people didn’t really get to hear me sing in my upper register very much, because I sang bass, and it’s really fun to be able to show people another side of myself that they really haven’t seen yet. It’s really been amazing to see people’s responses. It seems like it’s really resonating with people and that really means a lot to me.

Some of the songs on the EP include instrument sounds that are actually your voice. Are you going to continue incorporating that kind of a cappella technique in your own stuff?

That’s always going to be a huge part of my music. I love vocals and what they can do, and the different layers they can create, and I really want to bring that into folk music in terms of arrangements and stuff. I think it really actually fits very well. Folk music is very honest, it’s very humble, it’s very organic, and the voice is exactly that. And so I’m very excited to put the two together.

And it sounds like people are digging it.

You know, it’s been really amazing, it feels like people have just really understood my music. One thing that I’ve seen all over the comments on YouTube is that “this feels really like him.” And that means more than anything to me, because I always try to present myself in a very real way, and really try to hope that people will understand who I truly am in my core.

It’s music really that I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, so now this is the first time that I’ve really been able to put my full heart and soul and really see my ideas and my imagination come to life. It’s really such an amazing feeling, it’s really such a beautiful experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching the boys perform their own songs and I am so so so proud of each of them, but I really freaking miss them being together on stage, interacting as a band.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but it makes me so happy to see young people like me obsessed with bands like the Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and all the other amazing classic rock bands. When people put a play on words with their usernames, it just makes my heart glow to see that people are as obsessed as me. It makes me feel like I belong somewhere because I sure as hell don’t belong in this society today.

6

#SCAquotes - 1

I start making these recently so I think I should put them here so they would stick around. 

So another SCANDAL Band tribute.

They’re quoted from either their lyrics or what they said.

————————

A LONG back stories about #SCAquotes. Ha :p

You know, there are times when we just generalize whatever public figures do, as if they were told to do something, fake personalities and such. Of course I always try to find their flaws, wondering which one is fake, which one is seemingly genuine. Call it hobby, or curiosity, but I’m always intrigued to find links between one’s way of thinking and their works. Figuring out how a person is truly like and what might be going inside their head. 

Turns out the more I try to figure them out, the more I admire them.

I can never imagine SCANDAL band replace a member. It’s four of them or not at all. They are each so different yet so harmoniously balanced. Following their story is like being taught how possible for others to reach the point where they are now. They even looked happier then others when they met people who started to follow their footsteps, said it was them who got greatly encouraged to continue instead.

So when I realized, their words and their music are always around me, keeping me going like fuel does to an engine. 

Thus I start making #SCAquotes, surely I’m not the only one that got supported by them this way, and I would be so happy if more people feel the same about them.

LiveFreeFriday | Meet Julia Nunes.

A songwriter who sings about love and life, Julia Nunes has been taking off this past year. Since finding early success and a large following on YouTube, she’s gone on to perform at Bonnaroo, SXSW, and Conan, and to share the stage with Weezer, Amanda Palmer and Katy Perry. 

The singer tells popular YouTuber Miles Jai about coming out. “I told my parents I was dating a person, and then when they learned more about the gender of that person they were like, ‘Are you happy?’” she says. “A lot of people just assume that I am a lesbian because I’m with a woman. And then a lot of people have referred to me as bi. So the label that feels best to me is just, ‘not straight’.”

This spring she toured with her band and promoted her album that includes songs like “Makeout” which she strums on the ukelele for Miles Jai. She lives tobacco-free because she wants to be good to herself. While she knows that some people smoke when they go out, she finds other ways to enjoy the nightlife. “I want to treat myself right. I want to do something that maybe will make my night go better,” she says. “How about I go talk to that person or dance to this beat.” Sounds like a good time to us.

What’s your LiveFreeFriday story?

Ashton Irwin appreciation rant

ashton fletcher irwin is the heart of this band, okay?? when this band started in syndey ashton had to push those boys to work. without ashton, this band wouldn’t be as big as it is now. if they had picked a different drummer, to me i think the band would not be as successful. ashton is such a talented drummer and he doesn’t get the recognition that he deserves!! so imagine this, a boy that is following his dreams and he works his heart out and he gets hate. he admitted that he wanted to run away and get away, that’s probably because of the lack of recognition and hate. don’t get me wrong, touring non-stop would be tiring and you would want a break. it seems to me, ashton likes performing in front of his fans every night, but when people don’t give you the love and recognize the work you do you, that is a good reason to go away from this kind of stuff. 

 without ashton, how would we know what the band was doing everyday!! how would you feel not knowing how the boys are feeling, news about the concerts or the band in general, or even just random things they are doing. he gives us so much and i feel like people are just expecting it. imagine life without that?? you would be struggling to know how your boys are!! WE DONT DESERVE ASHTON!! HE GIVES SO MUCH AND WE DONT GIVE IT BACK!! 

 his heart is so big and all he does is try to make us happy!! when it was his birthday, did he get a cake on stage??? no. he does not get the same attention as the other boys. ashton has had a hard life, that doesn’t mean to treat him differently but you need to treat i. woth the same love, respect, and recognize him as a member as the band we love!! please understand where ashton is coming from!!

 SUPPORT AND LOVE ASHTON FLETCHER IRWIN


@ashtonfightme addition about her appreciation for ashton:

 ok but he’s just so caring? and strong? he overcame so much and even when he was younger he always talks about how he had to grow up fast for his siblings and I can’t even imagine how hard that must be, he’s so so great, and remember the tweet and he said his past made him who he is? I just love that about him. I know that’s extremely hard and I really admire him ya know and the way ash is around the other boys. he always tried to make em smile and they really are like a giant family. they all take care of each other and that’s when you know you chose the right idols

London Eye

TITLE:  London Eye

CHAPTER NUMBER/ONE SHOT: one shot

AUTHOR tomcuddlesfic

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor Tom

GENRE: romance / fluff

FIC SUMMARY: Tom invites OC for a walk near London Eye (The giant Ferris wheel in London.)

RATING FOR THE WHOLE FIC: T

Author’s notes:  I have no idea why I never wrote a fic where it takes place in this location. I mean it’s literally standing right there for everyone to see. Also, I am back from my vacation to Las Vegas. I’ve been itching to write ever since I boarded the plane so do expect some fics from me in the near future. I would love to hear what you think!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

inside the band, what's your favourite harry friendship?

Harry and Niall. I feel like Harry is 100% himself when he’s with Niall. Just watching them in interviews together for instance, they’re so comfortable with each other. There’s no hesitation, ‘cause none of them are rowdy or brash in any way. They bicker like a married couple and love on each other like one. They support each other, have inside jokes, and they tease each other. And they let each other TALK. They hear each other out. There’s a mutual respect there. But mostly, they’re just happy, c h i l l people when they’re together. They make each other giggle and smile a lot, and they both don’t take things too seriously, and their vibe is so strong :) But I love lirry on stage though! They’re really cute, and Liam takes one for the team a lot, haha. He’s brought us some of the best Harry moments on stage :p 

#34: You cry during a song while he's performing.

Luke: Wherever you are. You were already crying before Luke began the first verse. The song meant so much to you; Luke wrote it about you, anyways. And even though the two of you were still together, it still hurt to hear him sing the heartfelt song, because you did break up at one point while he went on tour. It was hard on both of you, and even though you got back together with him and joined him on tour, the song still effected you like it did a year ago. “You can say we’ll be together someday, but nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same." He sang, giving you a small, sad smile from the stage when he caught your tear-stricken eyes.

Calum: Amnesia. You were stupid. Stupid and young and naive. After only a couple months of dating, you found the spotlight to be too much, and even though you didn’t want to, you broke up with Calum. It was emotional and it was hard, and he was heartbroken beyond words. You eventually found your way back to him, however, but the heart-wrenching song always hit home with you. It was based off of your first part of your relationship, and you couldn’t help but let the emotional tears lose when you heard Calum’s voice sing the sad song. "I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the makeup running down your face." He sang, his body clearly rigid as he was thrown back to the uneasy memories himself. You wipe your eyes as he looks at you, giving him a smile, lucky to have him back.

Ashton: Beside You. You and Ashton never really had a rough patch in your long term relationship. Actually, it was quite the opposite. If anything, you two were too invested in the relationship. It broke your heart every time he left for tour, every night you heard his voice over the phone when you knew he was halfway around the world, unable to touch him. But tonight, he was home and he was right in front of you, the emotions overwhelming you as you watched him play while the other boys sang. "She sleeps alone, my heart wants to come home. I wish I was, I wish I was, beside you." You watch Ashton closely as he drums, your eyes unable to get enough of him as you feel yourself begin to cry. He glances at you quickly with a small smile, trying not to lose his concentration. When the band finished, you cheered, but instead of sad tears like you had so many nights, they were finally happy, relieved to have him home.

Michael: The Only Reason. Your relationship with Michael for as long as you can remember has been a roller coaster. The good was amazing, but the bad was horrific. You would always argue about the most pointless things, and it would always end in you giving up. You would shut down, not even bothering to try anymore. But Michael always pushed to continue the relationship, no matter what the cost. "Even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear my heart is never giving up. You’re the reason, the only reason." As he sang the chorus, the tears began to run as he glanced at you, his gaze unwavering. The music masked your sobs as you wiped your eyes, not giving the fans a chance to see you cry. You knew at the end of the day Michael loved you. He would do anything in his power to keep you for the long run, and you were more than willing to do the same for him.

Kyo CLOSE UP - Motto2 Vol.5 20000 words interview - 1/3

Last year on December 29th, the full truth about Kyo’s solo project, sukekiyo, was revealed when they performed as an opening act for SUGIZO.
Their first album “IMMORTALIS” was released on April 30th of 2014, which was at last the full blown start of the band’s activity. The collaboration for the limited edition of the album with the noteworthy musicians which went over the music genres, the performance “kamoku no gi” organized for people who purchased the limited edition of the album from Kyo’s website etc, the announced news keep simply breaking the common sense of music industry.
What does Kyo want to express through this band?
We will talk here about the history before starting the band, recording the album, feelings of the band and many other topics.

- Thank you for participating in this conversation, after being invited by SUGIZO. At the end of your conversation, do you have anything to add?

Kyo: Putting simply, I was really happy, I was able to work together with him. I just thought it’s totally like him, when I chose to start sukekiyo’s activities, I heard that he acknowledged it…that’s so like him (laugh).

- That’s true (laugh). So as it was said during your talk session, it’s been over 10 years since you met SUGIZO?

Kyo: I don’t really remember the exact time… Which meeting was that? I don’t really know, but I think when we talked directly for the first time was when he came to see DIR EN GREY’s concert. Probably when he first came to see our concert he might have talked to Shinya or someone else, not to me…

- It was surely just after the concert, so it might be ambiguous. After the concert when you get everything out, the state of your mind and body must be different from usual.

Kyo: No, it’s normal.

- Ah, really? (laugh)

Kyo: I think I don’t really change (laugh).

Keep reading

hi! i saw everyone else doing their end-of-the-year follow forevers so, i thought i might as well quit being lazy and do it myself, ha… ugh. this is going to be a bit long, just a fair warning!

please don’t feel bad if you aren’t on this list… i have a very bad memory, so if we’re mutuals, don’t be afraid to ask to be added, i really won’t mind!!

anyway! i just thought i’d get a couple Special Mentions™ out of the way for the people dearest to me!

@princess-daisy: i thought about saying something silly or something to make you mad but i decided to be serious and say that you are without a doubt my closest friend. and i know that i can be a handful, and childish, and bratty, but you still like to talk to me and put up with me, even after seeing me throw childish fits, so… thank you. i love you so much, and i hope we’ll be friends forever. i’ll try to do better in 2016.

@goddess-palutena: it’s so hard to believe we’ve already known each other for a year! i love hanging out with you, and complaining about everything with you omg. you and your family are always so nice to me, i love you! i’m really glad we could become friends, i feel like things would be very different if i hadn’t met you.

@ereborealis: honestly, when are we going to start a band for real?? we’ve been best friends since 10th grade, i think? and i’m really thankful for all the time we spent together. we went through a lot of embarrassing phases but we made it omg! i’m so happy to see that you’re happy right now. i can see that you’re heading in a good direction, and i hope you get to where you want to be. i love you!!

@conjunx & @endurae: i don’t mean to lump you two together, i hope you don’t mind… even though i only met you a few months ago, it feels like it’s been forever! and i guess, in a way, it has. you guys have really helped me open up, and i would be in a much worse place if it weren’t for you. i really love what we have, and i hope it’ll last forever. i can’t wait to see you both at metrocon, and i’m really looking forward to whatever the future holds for us!! ♥

okay, that was all really gay, sorry. here is my list - and again, don’t be afraid to ask to be added if i forgot you! it definitely wasn’t on purpose!!

close friends & family:

@quasidimentionalspacehell@touhouproject@diagnosticdrone  ♥ @synesthesiacharlotte@geegeegeemoneyz  ♥ @sanctiu@milliardo@wwzelink@officialladyinquisitor@madpeakeofhell@r2d2official@teacaketiger@bapyrus@ughpompadour@ricketyrace@ufomemes@wesker@umbransisters@ouendanl@decade-dance@daxmana

friends:

@deerwiki@re6wiki@qtmage@strawbabbys@aurezerda@shadow-siren-vivian@songofhealing@digxel@synx@sweatersage@crispixkid@bluerobogeddon@ganondorffucker69@asmrer


mutuals:

@shadowmoses-island@whaliean@ylisseans@milkyneko@nursepup@mi0da  ♥ @docmario@magent-magent@dreambf@actuallymaxcaulfield@scanvisor  ♥ @aijack@chocobovillage@raziashadow@rarewitch@pichiprincess@dazedazeyare@lupittoo@phantom-troupe-wiki@noraneko-girl@bipan@ernpathy@trans-princess-peach@trans-girl-linkle@sickpupp@lozdlc@halfgenie@dannystjohn@teenyfrog@hiplizard@mtfujibroughtitstwin@pastelsuccubus@0tgw@superchunk@ireallyloveundyne@an-eel


thank you so much! 2015 wasn’t the best year for me, but i really feel like it set up lots of great things next year. it really feels like my life is going to go somewhere. i hope everyone has a happy new year!!

anonymous asked:

why are you so sad about zayn leaving? you werent like this when kris left exo or nicole left KARA?

dude….. 1d were my first group ever like i never went as hard for any other artist than i did for them and zayn immediately was and is my #1 like tbh how fucking rare is it in our lifetime that a SOUTH ASIAN MUSLIM is represented in our media like not only tht but is a popular member of what u could call the biggest band of this generation like???? where am i ever gonna get that again???? seeing zayn on tv always made me feel so happy about myself like i saw myself in him and i felt better about my identity and im sure a lot of other desi muslims can relate and idk man this is way much more than someone leaving a band idk

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I first met Aaron when Secrets was touring with Blessthefall in the spring. MEET & GREET! Submit your meet-and-greet stories to bryanstarsfanpictures@gmail.com. They are posted throughout the week.

When I heard that they would be at Warped Tour I knew I had to go see them again! My friend and I got there early so we could be right up front. We are both pretty small girls but we moshed and went so hard the entire time! After the set Aaron came down to the barricade and was took the time to talk to every single person who stayed. He was so sweet and when we told him that we saw him back in the spring he got so happy and gave us both a huge hug. It was so nice that he just took the time to talk to all of us fans and didn’t make us wait in line or get a wristband like some other band do. He was so down to earth and it’s musicians like him that make me -a girl who is constantly questioned about the music I like just because of the way I look- feel accepted. I’ll never forget the pure happiness seeing that he was just as excited to see us, as we were to see him.