i feel so alone sometimes

Guys…. Yesterday I lashed out a tiny bit and my ask box was getting heavy and I was so afraid to even open it. So I asked my friend to take a look at the messages for me and she told me it was safe to look because pretty much every single message and comment of all those dozens that I received yesterday were the most heartwarming. So I went ahead and read them all and broke down weeping uncontrollably because you are all so so so sweet and wonderful and kind, I cannot even explain it… thank you so much with all my heart for being so understanding and supportive. Whenever I feel like I’m getting overwhelmed or begin feeling pressured, you help me remember how amazing it is to be part of this community, and my gratefulness is not only brought back to the surface but also multiplies a million times. Really. I’m just some random sad nerd who fell in love with a fictional world and wants to recreate it out of my imagination, and you are here being with me and loving it. Thank you so so so SOOOoooosnsdsfehgu much. Really. Truly. Love you all, even if you don’t really care that much, I still love you and am grateful for you. You don’t have to be here, but you are, and you appreciate whatever I manage to give. Thank you ❤

P.S. I’ll try to respond to the off-anon messages as soon as I have time!!

sometimes i just think about how alone isak was in s1 and s2? he broke up two of his best friends because he couldn’t confront his own feelings - or had confronted them and was too scared of what he found. his best friend, his main source of support, was the very person he couldn’t get support from. and that must’ve been horrible for a teenage boy trying to figure himself out. but in s3 skam gifted us with isak expanding his friend group, and i’m s o proud: 

  • mahdi didn’t really have a role other than fun weed bro at the beginning of s3, but he was immediately supportive of isak’s coming out! he even brought up pansexuality, which helped diffuse the tension and educate them all. here was isak with his “maybe i’m a little gay” and mahdi jumps in with yeah there are more sexualities and that’s cool and it just?? reminds everyone that heterosexuality doesn’t have to be the default. 
  • magnus started out as kind of annoying and tone-deaf (tbh i def see him as the vilde of the boys), but then he encourages isak to reach out to even, in the best way possible, without lecturing him or making it into a Lesson. after a weekend of research into bipolar disorder, he needed someone with actual experience with it to put it into simple terms, to remind isak that what he said to even in the kitchen was right. only even can feel what he feels, and isak should actually talk to him instead of believing his ex because…WOW….wow
  • and JONAS. that coming out scene almost made me cry, because sure, isak has moved on, but he’s always looked up to jonas, they’ve been best friends for so long. if he didn’t get jonas’s support, he’d be crushed. at this point, i’m sure jonas starts to have his suspicions about isak’s old crush on him, but you know what?? he doesn’t do shit about it. because it’s over, it’s done, and sometimes being Bros means one bro might like-like another bro. and that’s okay! traditional standards of masculinity are a prison anyway.
  • and the Boys are so supportive of even. there’s no awkwardness of like “haha how do we interact with our friend’s boyfriend is he our bro too” nah it’s chill. i’ll never forget when even gives magnus love advice and the guys are like “….you know i never thought of that but you may be right.” and it works!! give me more of even coaching magnus through his relationship with vilde. jonas and mahdi need way less help than magnus, but sometimes they probably text even too like how did you get up the courage to talk to someone you really like but has never noticed you before.
  • the answer is that you lowkey follow them around everywhere and steal away their basic right to dry their hands after using the restroom which maybe isn’t the most helpful advice but it sure worked.

basically this friend group is pure as heck and i’m so blessed that this show doesn’t need to fuel unnecessary drama. i’m glad that we’re allowed to like these characters, no matter how flawed they are. 

9

That was the closest I was ever to fighting one of my brothers.
But to be blunt anon, nothing really happens even if I snap

And some of you might not think it’s a big deal but I KNOW Shiro did that on purpose!

do you guys just .. feel fake sometimes? especially in public? I feel like i constantly have to act like I am normal - as if I am not normal inside. Like i don’t know how to explain it without it sounding idiotic but it’s like when you’re in an airport. When you go through the security control, you know that there’s nothing wrong. You know that you don’t have explosives/drugs//illegal shit with you. And yet you feel like you have to act normal. Like you have to smile, look friendly, nice and not threatening. Sort of how I feel everyday

  • Yuri: Victor you love me right?
  • Victor: Yes baby, why would you think differently?
  • Yuri: I just sometimes feel so alone and I-I can't explain it...it's complicated.
  • Victor: Yuri, *gripping yuri and holding him close* I want you to know, I will never, and I mean never leave you, you know I will alw-
  • Yuri: *kisses victor* ...
  • Yuri(in his mind): GOD DAMN BOY IM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

Shiro: Keith,when I’m with you, I-I don’t feel so alone.

Keith: Sometimes it’s better to be alone.

Shiro: What do you mean?

Keith: Nobody can hurt you.

Shiro:Keith.I would never ever hurt you,
and I don’t wanna hurt you.

Keith:so…let’s both do ourselves a favour and…stop this before we…

(Keith and Shiro lean forward for a kiss then suddenly Lance interrupts them.)

Lance:All right! Break it up! Break it up! Party’s over!

Keith:Damn it Lance!

Every time I think I’m over Daesung he freakin pulls me back in. Let!! me!! live!! my!! life!!

anonymous asked:

Thank you for running this blog. Seeing someone else who's like me makes me feel so great. I feel so alone sometimes and I just appreciate every last one of your videos and posts. Thank you so much

<3 You’re very welcome! I’m proud of my dorkness. I think everyone should have a right to be dorky and goofy without fear of rejection.

I’m gonna do a little infodump here. My autistic brain fell down a rabbit hole and now I’m gonna tell you what I’m seeing before I climb out again. :P

I’ve got a really cool secret– we’re not totally alone! Our atoms come from stars that went supernova or hypernova billions of years ago. The atoms making up those stars probably come from a long lineage of supergiant and hypergiant stars stretching back to the first primordial stars to form after the early universe cooled enough for matter to form. And the atoms for those stars wouldn’t have happened if there wasn’t a big bang. (Maybe God sneezed? I kid, I kid…)

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, the universe will increase in volume by one hundred trillion cubic light years. The size of the universe is beyond comprehension. 

People are just as vast and capable of expansion. We’re still learning about how our brains work and what our brains can do. The microscopic structure of our brains looks almost identical to the macroscopic cosmic web, which is the large-scale structure of the universe.

Compared to the universe, we’re like the little quarks in a single atom on a neuron. Look up at the sky and realize that vastness literally exists inside your skull, too.

Take all that vastness and look around the next time you’re in an area with a lot of people. Each person has a universe within them. You might be among people whose atoms came from the same star that yours came from. You have a lot of stellar siblings out there in the world. Look again and realize there’s an even deeper connection, because in the end we’re all connected to the beginning via the particles created by the big bang! 

Cool, huh?

So go out there and be proud of how being autistic shapes your geekness, your awkwardness and your dorkness. They’re what make you you!  :)

4

Never knew a stranger would come into my life and day by day change every inch of my life and I let him. Without my conscious he made me a better person, he helped me see things in a different perspective that seems so surreal like it’s a dream but it’s better than a dream. I feel so alone so much that he’s the only friend I have. Sometimes it seems that he’s the one who let me in, he accept my being.
Luke Hemmings what you’ve done for me I can never repay you enough, I love you with all my heart and I’m forever grateful that you’re the stranger I let in but you’re no stranger, you’re the friend I wish I can call past midnight and you’re the friend I secretly wish was mine ❤️

Emotional Starters: Sadness
  • "Sorry, I'm just not feeling up to it."
  • "No, I'm not crying..."
  • "Look, I can't be happy all the time, okay?"
  • "I wish I could smile as easily as you can."
  • "Everything just seems to be going all wrong."
  • "I don't know how much more I can take."
  • "Sometimes I feel so alone..."
  • "C-Can... you get me a tissue?"
  • "Please, just leave me be."
  • "Yeah, I guess I could use a hug."
  • "I... need to talk to you..."
  • "The world is such a cruel place. Why?"
  • "You really hurt my feelings, you know..."
  • "I never did anything to deserve this."
  • "I wish I could just disappear."
  • "When will the sadness end?"