i feel like watching my girl again


Them boys and their girl~ *:・゚✧

Sick of Losing You

Plot: Harry and Y/N lost each other when he found someone else.

Warnings: None aside that it kinda broke my heart.

Playlist to the one shot: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2S-tehb1XqDqkmE4xnz7-SciJy61soVf

Thanks to @interfectorems for being such a good friend, supporter and for requesting this. 
Songs that are mentioned but not on the playlist are “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift & “If You don’t Know” by 5Sos.

Pic of this beauty isn’t mine.

I watched from a far how he held on to her hand, his fingers grasping and squeezing hers gently while his eyes never left her pretty face. He watched her speak with such an intensity in his green eyes, as if he literally saw nothing other than her. His girlfriend. Not me.
I took a deep breath, swallowed the thick lump building in my throat and turned away from the sight.
Exactly three weeks ago, Harry and I had shared a kiss. Our first kiss, which had been exactly how I’d secretly always wished for it to be. Of course it had been. Every time you get to kiss the person you love is special and like fireworks painting colors into the sky.

He’d been talking and listening to me all night, similar to how he now was with her and had at some point reached out to hold my hand, just like he was holding hers in this moment.
When the time felt right, he’d leant in and had captured my lips with his. Needless to say, Harry was a phenomenal kisser. He knew when to press further, when to use how much tongue and was very attentive to how my body responded to his. Whenever I thought about it now, my cheeks tingled with the memory of his hands cupping them gently as he cradled my face to keep me close. He’d been so soft, so perfect. Harry had touched me with a tenderness, I thought it’d break my heart. I remembered wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling like they belonged there, like I was meant to hold him close.
Only that I wasn’t. The girl he was with now only proved how insignificant I was.

I couldn’t help peaking and looking over at him again. Harry’s lips. I knew exactly how they felt when pressed against my own, knew their taste and shape. Their warmth. Harry’s touch was impossible to forget.
I watched him kiss his girlfriend with a mesmerized stare, before moving away and into the kitchen, leaving the small gathering of our friends with a murmured excuse that I needed to get a refill of my drink, when in reality I couldn’t bear seeing the man I loved sharing affectionate kisses with someone else.
But not even the kitchen was a safe area for me. t had been this exact kitchen, the one in Harry’s house, where he’d pulled me aside and told me about her for the first time.

“It’s difficult” I think he said. “It’s my fault that this situation has become so messy.”

Was it silly that I could actually still remember every word he spoke to me? That I’d engraved every pause, every take in of breath he made, deeply into my head?

“Listen, Y/N… You’re important to me. I care about you. Need you, it’s just… There is someone. Someone who could be a chance for a relationship and I really want to give this a go. Give her a go, I mean. You can understand that, right?”

At first it’d felt like none of it was real. Because how could he be serious?
Harry. My best friend, Harry.
Only three days after our magical first kiss, three days full of us talking and flirting and texting constantly, he was telling me that he wanted someone else. Her name was Ira. And though he was seemingly behaving the same way with her he had been with me, we weren’t the same. In fact, she was everything I wasn’t. So when he told me he wanted her and not me, that he was picking her over of me, how come I’d been surprised?

I would never be his first choice, not when there were thousands of others he could choose from. And it was time for my brain to learn to not interpret every kind gesture, time to learn to stop overthinking every word. It was time for my head to accept, that there was no way Harry Styles could possibly want me.

So… I had been understanding. Kind even.
I’d lied and told him that yes, I agreed that our kiss had been a mistake. We shouldn’t have done any of that and instead thought of our friendship first, rather than our impulses. I’d kept a smile on my face throughout the entire talk and even finished the short chat by wishing him good luck with her. Another lie.

My fingers shook and so I set the empty glass of my drink down quickly, worried for a moment that I might otherwise spill the last few drops. I didn’t think much when I reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter. There was no getting through this night if I didn’t have something proper to drink. If only I remembered the recipe….

“Need help?”

My shoulders tensed. It couldn’t be him. Please… anyone, literally anyone, but him.

However when I turned around, Harry was there. He stood tall and beautiful, his short hair soft and wavy. Harry’s compelling eyes held my gaze with such a tender rawness in them, my knees weakened. All my body burned for was to wrap my arms around his shoulders and have him embrace me, have him tell me that everything would be okay again. I felt like I needed it, but knew that this was a wish I would be denied. Harry must have felt it, too. It was in the air around us. It had changed and… buzzed. As if being in each other’s presence made the world halt still for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Harry chuckled lowly when I didn’t say anything. How could he smile like everything was alright?

And what was it he was apologizing for? Abandoning our friendship? Ruining any hope I’d had to find a partner in him? Shattering my heart? Hardly.

“For scaring you,” Harry elaborated, a sudden hint of guilt in his eyes, almost as if he’d read my thoughts.

“It’s fine, Harry,” I muttered, bearing a false smile, “All good.”

It was hard to look at him. Especially his eyes. They burned a whole into my chest whenever my own orbs found them. They reminded me of the Harry he once was, the one I could always come to and rely on.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, his head nodding towards the bottle of vodka. His forehead furrowed in a worried expression and I quickly set the container back down.

“I wanted to make myself a drink, but the recipe slipped my mind. I’m not as much of an alcoholic as it must look like.”

“Good to know,” Harry chuckled, then, visibly thinking about it first, took a step forward. “I remember what you like in your favorite drink. Could make you one.”

From how close he was standing, it was easy to notice every detail of his skin. Every curve of his lips, every hair of his barely-there beard. My stomach turned.

“That’d be nice.”

Harry smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

We avoided any touching. I was leant against the counter, he stood with a safe distance between us and only came closer when he needed a different ingredient that happened to be near me. It was awkward and… weird. It didn’t feel like ‘us’. The friends we’d been once seemed to be two completely different people. I knew him and felt he was familiar, but there was a emotional distance between us I knew neither of us could overcome. And still, I was with him and even if we behaved like strangers, being with Harry was nice.

“I think that’s it,” Harry said, breaking the silence. His eyes were set on the pink-orange liquid in my glass, then they drifted to my face. A proud smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“You 'think’?” I challenged shyly.

I took the glass from him (cautious not to touch his fingers) and took a sip. It tasted great.

“M'not big of a show off,” Harry grinned, “S'it good?”

I nodded and stirred the colored liquid once more. “Thanks, Harry.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” His voice was soft and his gaze shy.

The air around us shifted once more. My eyes teared up. What had happened to us? Harry and I… we used to be the kind of friends who didn’t stopped talking to each other for hours. At first, we’d be loud. We’d laugh and giggle so much eventually both of our tummies hurt. That was when we’d change the subject and speak more quietly, until several hours later our conversations drifted to topics only we were allowed to hear. Then we’d be whispering and sitting closer together, always an eager sparkle in the other’s eyes as we both listened with interest about what was being said.

I quickly turned away and pretended to yawn. My eyes blinked rapidly and I willed them not to cry in front of him. Not because of embarrassment, but because I couldn’t do that to him. I’d given him my okay. I had no right to be mad at him for having found someone else. Harry remained standing close and with his hands in the front pockets of his black jeans.

“I think I should go,” I muttered.

I held my head low and took a deep breath before looking at him briefly. Harry’s eyes held concern and his fingers twitched, as if he longed to reach out for me.

“Y/N, love,” he began lowly, “Do you think we could talk for a bit? S'been a while since I got to see you. Hear your voice. I missed you.”

This time when my eyes met his green orbs, I didn’t look away, even though I could feel the tears forming and coming closer to spilling over. Harry’s whole expression changed. His cheeks paled and his forehead furrowed deeper.

“I miss you, too, Harry,” I admitted, my weak voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head slowly, sorrow deeply set in his eyes. His feet stepped closer and his warm hands touched my flushed cheeks before I even had the chance to back away from him. The unexpected closeness caught me off guard and had more tears coming, this time because of how much I hated how uncommon this sort of care from him had become.

Harry embraced me. His head buried itself into my neck and both arms wrapped themselves around my waist so he could lift me up from my feet. “Please no, Y/N, Sweetheart. Don’t cry.”

I couldn’t help it. My heart, the final bit that had been whole still, broke in his caring hands and I was overcome and pulled under a wave of grief. That was what I was doing. I was grieving our friendship and the lost hope I’d had for a relationship with him. And he allowed it. He let me cry against his collarbones without any complaint and instead began to hum quietly, knowing how much his voice always soothed me. Pain shot through my chest. He probably did the same when she was upset.

“I can’t-” I cried, but got cut off by my lungs that burned with need for air.

Harry hushed me, his hold tightening, “Don’t, Y/N. It’s going to be alright.”

I shook my head and loosened the hold I’d taken around his neck. My hands momentarily brushed his soft hair, then I pulled away. Harry hesitated but allowed me to step out of his hold.

“I can’t take it anymore, Harry,” I confessed, my voice breaking halfway through the sentence. I reached up to brush my cheeks with the end of my sleeve and hiccuped. My head felt numb and I knew if I didn’t get out of this kitchen soon, he’d witness a break down I wasn’t comfortable with him seeing.

Harry’s hand reached for my arm. I didn’t fight it when he pulled me closer to him, but avoided his eyes when he leaned down to find my gaze.

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice rough with emotion, “I promise you, it’ll be alright. M'not leaving, okay? M'not. We’ll figure this out.”

I wanted to scream but all I could was shake my head rapidly. “Figure this out how? What have we become, Harry?”

Another sob wrecked through my chest.

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “But we’re going to find each other again, okay? I promise. Let me say goodbye to the others and then we’ll go for a walk or something. We’ll talk. About everything and nothing at all… Just like we always used to, yeah?”

Used to. So long ago, it seemed.

“Okay,” I whispered, my burning eyes set on my feet. My skin shivered under his warmth and my lips hurt from how much I was bitting them.

I flinched when his mouth pressed a kiss to my head. The skin was left with a burning sensation. “Wait for me here, love.”

Harry’s quick feet carried him out of the kitchen and left me standing by the counter with my heart at the pit of my stomach. I stood up straight and brushed the few remaining tears from my cheeks. My skin tingled and I felt the hint of a smile on my lips, even though my body ached.
Looking back now, I wish I would have stayed put by the counter and had waited for him just like he’d asked me to. I wish I hadn’t been impatient and eager to reunite with Harry, because that eagerness drove me to exit the kitchen shortly after him and turn the corner, allowing me clear view into the living room.
There he stood. His arms around her thin form, his hands in her long hair and his lips kissing hers. All air was knocked right out of me. I could see how his hands gently moved against her neck, bringing her in closer and their bodies flush together. When their lips parted for a moment, I could see how he let his tongue run along his lower lip, as if he wanted to make sure he got all of her taste. And I could see him smile warmly at her, right before he leaned back in to connect their mouths once more. This sight… it burned.
I didn’t wait for him. Because I had been wrong before. My heart wasn’t truly broken until that moment, witnessing the man I loved with my everything, kissing a woman who wasn’t me. And if he wasn’t going to leave me, if he was just going to keep me close and allow my heart to shatter over and over again, then I supposed I would have to be the one to go first.
So that’s what I did. I walked back to the entryway, slid on my jacket, picked up my bag, and left the house. Left, to never come back to Harry Styles.

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My Secret

I was in third grade when I found out. I sat in my class like any other day, quietly working on the project we’d been assigned. We had pen pals we were writing to in Germany and I remember how excited I was to finish my letter, in which I had written all about my love for Dinosaurs.

It was Joshua Mable who asked the question, I still remember the way his hand rose slowly into the air, his eyes looking down at the ground.

My teacher was a kind woman, with wrinkles around her eyes and a crooked smile. But his question knocked that toothy grin to the floor.

“Mrs. Wiz..? I told my parents about our project and my dad used a word I don’t understand. What’s a Nazi?”

Silence filled the room and my teacher, a woman I admire to this day for her positivity, suddenly looked grim.

“Well Josh, I think you should ask your parents that question. It doesn’t seem my place to tell you all about that. You’ll learn one day.”

But that was my day, the day my eyes would be opened to who I was. That day, I went home to my parents. That day, I asked them what a Nazi was. That day, they told me the truth.

My dad has always been a straight forward man, he doesn’t believe in fluffing up stories. So he sat me down, and I still remember the tears in his eyes, and he explained to me everything. The hatred, the anger, the horror. All of it. No detail was omitted. I remember feeling sick, like rats were eating at my stomach lining.

For as long as I can remember, I had always seen the good in people, believed that no one was truly evil. That belief changed when my dad explained to me about the hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women and children who had been slaughtered for no reason other than their religious beliefs. I hated them, I hated these Nazis he spoke about. My father then said something that shattered how I would look at myself in the mirror to this day.

“My mothers father, Carrie, was a Nazi. Not by choice, but because the Nazi’s threatened to kill his family. So he adopted their beliefs, did what they asked. And yes, before he died on the battlefield, he told them to escape to America, but I won’t lie to you and say that our family isn’t flawed. Our journey here, to this country, was not filled with hope for a better life, but regret and shame for the lives they had left behind.”

I was nine years old and my life crashed around me. I didn’t understand the reasoning behind my great grandfathers actions, only what his actions had been and I was repulsed. In my veins ran blood that had fought for anger and hatred and bigotry. I looked in the mirror and suddenly hated the blonde hair and blue eyes that looked back at me. I was a child who was suddenly, painfully aware of an ugly history, and the importance that it never repeat itself.

Every day after that, I dedicated my life to getting my family out of the red, to erase that darkness with light. I vowed to show love and compassion, acceptance and tenderness. It became my mission to eradicate the Nazi idealisms from the face of the planet, one stupid privileged middle school brat at a time.

As I’ve grown older, I see now that my great grandfather was just afraid for his family, for his two babies and his tough little wife. I forgave him for what he was, for the choices he made but I did not forget.

For years I was ashamed of who I was, because my heritage was, to me, ugly. When people asked about my history, I lied and said I didn’t know.

But now, in light of everything that’s happened, I’ve chosen to share my secret. Because it is impossible to express how it feels, to live everyday of your life FIGHTING against these disgusting beliefs, trying to prove that there is goodness in this world, trying to make up for the pain and suffering that was caused by your family, only to wake up one morning, turn on the news, and see that a Nazi rally took place within the country that my family fled to to escape that hateful mentality.

My grandmother, Irmgard, chose to live in an all Jewish community after she moved to Philadelphia. When my father asked her why, when their house was constantly vandalized by the neighbors and she was constantly harassed for her heritage, she looked at him with shame in her eyes and said, “Because I deserve this, Burt. Because this is how I forgive myself. If this gives them even a shred of closure, then I will endure it gladly.”

She gave up her heritage, choosing to never cook German food or speak her native tongue within her household as a punishment to herself. This woman, who survived a Russian Gulag, felt that she hadn’t suffered nearly enough to make up for her fathers choices.

To see that she tortured herself for nothing, that my father watched his mother die still loathing herself, to see that this thing I have fought my entire life to try to destroy is still alive and thriving, makes me weep. It makes me sob in agony.

I feel like that nine year old girl again, choking on nothing, eyes red and burning. I am more than upset, I am disgusted and discouraged by the actions of those people.

And so I decided that it was time my secret came out. That I share this thing that has haunted me for so long, that drove me to read every holocaust book and watch every movie so that I would NEVER forget the pain that was caused. To remind myself of why I owe it to the world to be better than history, to choose the high and hard road rather than the low and easy one.

Why now? Why tell my most heavily guarded shame now? Because I want those fuckers to see. I want them to see what their actions do to their children, grandchildren and their great grandchildren. I want them to see that who they are, is repulsive and that their descendants will dedicate their lives to destroying what they stood for.

I want those fuckers to know that their actions are in vain, that they will lose. That maybe this is why I have felt this pain since I was nine years old, so that one day, when this situation would arise, I could stand up and show them that they will fail. That their posterity will not be filled with hatred as they so wish but with love and kindness, and with a sense of duty to help their fellow man regardless of religion, sexuality, gender or race.

I stand with the Jewish Community, and with the BLM movement, I stand with every member of the LGBTQ Community and I will stand as a feminist no matter what. I will go to my grave fighting to destroy the ideals that my ancestors once defended. I stand against Nazi’s and White Supremacists, as I have since I first understood what those things meant.

I will show them that their actions and views do not have support. That the descendants of the people they revere DO NOT stand with them. That in the end, all that enormous amount hatred they harbor, will have equal and opposite reactions.

My secret is out, and it will be my weapon.



Request: y/n being insecure about herself and about love.

Word count: 2,534

Cracking noises from the flames in the beige brick fireplace hanging on the wall, filled the otherwise silent living room. These faint but warm noises always made me feel somehow calm.

I loved the heat filling up the room, I loved shutting my eyes and listen to the flames crack slowly, I loved how it all felt like home to me.

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sometimes i whisper to the air ‘i love you’ but i’m not sure anymore what those words mean. are those still meant for you or am i only saying it out of habit? or is it my sick mind fixating on you, refusing to move on?
it’s 4 am and i’m watching a film about two girls slowly falling in love with each other and god, how i crave for my hands to be held again, for the butterflies to be fluttering on my stomach like once more i’m 16, to feel the warmth of the summer by looking at the eyes of the girl smiling across my breakfast table. i’m thinking that if ever i’m falling in love again, i will do all these cliche things i’ve seen in movies and maybe my girl and i will laugh about it because i lack originality and it’s corny but i’ll do it anyway and have no regrets. and i’ll write her love poems and make sure she reads each one because my poetry is more honest than i am and the last time i’ve written someone a love poem, it’s for you and you don’t even know about it.
f*ck, i can’t even write a poem about love right now because what does that word mean again? but maybe if i whisper enough i love yous to the air i can remember. or totally forget. because even in my hypothetical falling-in-love-again, i can only imagine it with one familiar face.
—  kabalintunaan // unfamiliar feeling
Helping Hands (M)

Originally posted by pkjjm

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

✓  Genre: smut

✓  Words: 2.827

✓  Warnings: a little of voyeurism | dirty talk | Dom!Jungkook | Slight Dom!Reader.

✓  Requested: No

✓  A/N: my dirty dirty mind was working a lot this morning in physics class.

Also,I’m sorry for the ending, I could not think of a better one. But I hope you dirty minds and souls enjoy this smut.

✓  Remember: English is not my first language; if there’s any kind of errors please tell me and send me your thoughts so I can get better and better. Thanks!


צ “I interrupted your ‘alone time’,Jungkook. The least I can do is jerk you off right here”

It was a Saturday night and as always, I found myself chatting with my friends at their dorm.

Instead of playing videogames like we always do, we decided to watch a movie because we would rather relax than scream at each other the words:”YOU CHEATED”.

Jin was ordering four boxes of pizza when I noticed someone was missing.

Jeon Jungkook.

My crush. The Golden Maknae that was good at everything and even more at making my heart beat like I ran a marathon. The guy that was so out of my reach but I never lost hope. We were so alike that we could be best friends, however his shyness and my nervousness made the bond impossible.

“Where’s Jungkook?”, I asked Taehyung, that was right beside me looking at the screen of his cellphone.

He looked at me and smirked. I just rolled my eyes in response. Everyone has the same reaction every time I say his name. Everybody knew about my feelings for him but the golden boy was the only oblivious about it.

“He’s in his bedroom. He said he needed to do something really important”, he told me while looking back at his cellphone.

“Talking about him, can you go and call him, (Y/N)?”, Jin said while taking the plates and cups to put on the table.

Hesitating a little, I nodded and went upstairs to go to his bedroom but not before seeing everybody’s devilish smirks and stares, making me blush and roll my eyes at the same time.

I slowly walked in the hall and in 15 seconds I found myself staring at his room’s door. I breathed heavily and raised my fist to knock on his door but stopped midway when I heard him groan.

Confused, I frowned. 

“Is he in pain?”, I thought.

But this thought faded away when I heard a moan and my name spilling from his lips.

My mouth fell wide open and I couldn’t help but to feel aroused.

My curiosity took the best of me and I opened the door, leaving just a an ajar open. I watched him buck his hips into his hands making him gasp and groan louder.

“You’re such a good girl, (Y/N)!”, he moaned making me feel like I was close to a volcano.

“So,so good princess. Fuck!”

Maybe it was the heat that was exhaling from my body or the way he was moaning my name and imagining me there with him but I found the confident person in me and opened his door for real when he was, again, saying how much of a good little girl I was.

“Am I? I must be, I’m making you a mess and I’m not even touching you”, I said leaning against the door frame with a sly smirk while watching him cover himself with the eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“(Y-Y-YN)”, he stuttered. 

“We’re gonna start watching the movies; finish the important thing you have to do”, I said grinning.”And come join us”, I finished my sentence closing the door going back downstairs.

“Where is this confidence coming from?”

“Where’s Jungkook?”, Namjoon asked when I reappeared in the kitchen.

“He’s on his way”, I answered,  not being able to contain the sly smirk that came on my lips again.

The boys frowned in confusion but I ignored them.

Jin was putting Coke in the cups for everybody when Jungkook showed up, not even giving me a glance.

“Hey, did you finish the important thing you were doing?”, Yoongi asked.

I looked at Jungkook and saw him gulp in nervousness.

“He did”, I grinned, seeing Jungkook look at me with wide eyes.

“Does he think I’m gonna tell?”, I laughed inside my head.

“What were you doing that was so important?”, Hoseok questioned.

 “I-I”, my crush stuttered.

“He was playing Overwatch”, I lied.”And he won”, I said jumping with a grin on my face.

The boys nodded, congratulating him while going to the living room.

“Congratulations, Kookie”, I said passing my left hand on his hard chest while passing past him.

The boys took the best seat in front of the TV, leaving just a two-seats sofa free. I knew that they didn’t do that just because of they wanted the best seats, they were doing on purpose so I could be close to Jungkook.

In any other day, I’d have rolled my eyes but not today.

I smiled sitting on the couch feeling Jungkook’s presence one second after I sat.

Jungkook looked around and noticed that the only available seat was next to me.

The room fell silent while everybody was waiting for Jungkook to make a move.

Slowly, he made his way towards the small sofa, sitting beside me.

“Okay,let’s start!, Jin said,pressing the play button of the remote.

The tension in the room seemed to fade as the movie started, catching everyone’s attention.

Well, everyone except me and Jungkook.

I could see his broad shoulders get tenser and tenser when I would make a move.

Thirty minutes passed and I couldn’t pay attention to the movie as the image of Jungkook masturbating because of me took place on my mind.

I took one of the blankets piled on a table close to the sofa that Jin left just in case if we would feel cold.

I put the blanket over me and Jungkook, making him jump in surprise and look at me startled.

I giggled and got close to him, whispering in his ear.

“Relax,Jungkook”, I murmured in the sexiest voice I could make.

“My plan is only starting”, I thought with a smirk.

I looked around discreetly and saw that everybody was too into the movie to notice if something happens. And even if they weren’t, they wouldn’t see anything because the sofa’s back was totally facing them.

I started in slow motion, rubbing my legs to show I was aroused. Gently moving to make my legs touch his. I pretended to fix my hair just to brush my fingers on his ar and shoulders. In a few more attempts I saw him squirm and I knew my plan was working.

I got closer to him and put my right hand on his thigh, rubbing it slowly and then grabbing his shaft, gently, through his pants, feeling it’s hardness.

“You’re so hard,Jungkookie”, I said looking at him with a smile.”Well, is no surprise since I interrupted you”, I chuckled darkly.

“Wh-wha-what are you doing?”, he asked with wide eyes, looking at me and then my hand.

“I interrupted you, Jungkook”, I repeated more firmly with a pout on my lips.”So I’m going to jerk you off right here”, I finished the sentence making him gulp.

With no warnings nor hesitation, I put my hands inside his boxers briefs, feeling his hard cock get in contact with my hand.

“Oh my God,Jungkook. You’re so big”, I said seeing in the corner of my eye his cocky smile.

But it soon disappeared when I started to move my hand up and down bis shaft, feeling how thick it is.I passed my thumb over the head of his cock, spreading out the pre cum all over the rest of his length, lubricating it.

A few minutes after, my movements started to make wet noises so I had to go a little slower, making Jungkook whine in complaints. 

“Ah”, Jungkook hissed.”Please don’t stop”

“I’d love to see you a mess,Jungkookie,but do you want them finding out?”,I said watching him bite his bottom lip.

“Let’s go upstairs”, he suggested,breathlessly, more like a command.

I nodded stopping my movements, making him whine at the loss of contact. I made a sign, indicating that he should go first.

He nodded and got up, hiding his erection with the movement of his hands in front of his crotch. 

“I’m really tired”, he faked an yawn. “I’ll go to bed”, he announced but no one really paid attention.

He made a sound with his lips while making a pout making me giggle quietly. He looked at me and smirked,winking at me before heading upstairs.

After 2 minutes, I faked an yawn too saying I was going to sleep.

“Tae, can I use your bed?”

“You can use any bed you want I guess, no one will sleep in their rooms tonight, well, except Jungkook”, he said wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, shut up! Seriously you guys don’t mind?”

“Yah, we’ll pass the whole night watching movies, now go to sleep and let us watch the movie, please?”, Yoongi said stuffing his mouth with popcorn.

“Okay. Goodnight,guys!”, I said making my way upstairs.

When I was almost knocking on Jungkook’s door, it suddenly opened and then Jungkook pushed me inside.

“You took way too long”, he looked at me seriously.

“I had to make a good excuse”, I shrugged my shoulders.

Jungkook hurriedly got closer, circling my waits with his strong arms. He buried his face on my neck, giving light kisses, going up to my jawline and then my lips.

The kiss started slow but soon started to get faster and passionate. The lust between us growing and growing.

“God, I waited so long for this”, he said taking off his shirt and throwing me on his bed.

“I dream so much about you and your gorgeous body”, he told me while looking into my eyes.

“Yeah?”, I stared intensely at his eyes, taking all my strength to not look at his abs.”What do you usually dream about?”

He smirked.”You sucking me off; me eating you out; fucking you so hard that the only thing you’ll be able to say and scream is my name. I dream about making you mine and just mine”, he listed making me moan.

“Make me yours, Jungkook”, I whispered maintaining the eye contact.

He grinned taking my shirt off, throwing on the floor. My bra soon followed.

Jungkook was going directly to the point. He kissed my right boob then started to suck my nipples, sometimes surrounding the areola with his tongue. He soon followed to my other boob, giving it the same treatment.

After he was done, he gave little pecks and licks on my abdomen, tummy, belly button until he got on the hem of my jeans.

He unbuttoned my jeans and forcefully pulled them down my legs.

“Man, he really is in a hurry. I most have worked him up pretty badly,huh?”

Jungkook stopped to look at me all spread out on his bed. He licked his lips like I was some kind of meal, making me more turned on with his stare.

“Jungkook!”,I whined catching his attention.”Please,fuck me!”

He smirked.”Soon baby, I wanna taste you first”, he winked at me, pulling my panties down.

He gave both my inner thighs little pecks, soon he was in front of my dripping core.

He took some of my substance on the tip of his index finger, smirking while doing it a few times. It was like he was playing with my juices like a little boy with his truck.

“You’re so wet,baby”, he grinned.”All wet and just for me,right, princess?”

“Yes,yes,please Jungkook”, I whined.”Do something”

He grinned, soon licking a long stripe up my folds, humming with a smile on his face.

“You have no idea how many times I imagined your taste on my tongue”, he hummed once again.

With no warnings, he started to devour my pussy, making me gasp and arch my back, earning a grin from him. He latched on to my clit, sucking in forcefully. He went down, plunging his tongue inside my leaking whole, massaging my clit with his thumb, making me moan louder.

He hummed in response.

“You like that,princess?”, he asked me then licking my whole with the tip of his tongue.

“Yes, Jungkook”, I moaned.”Please,keep going”

“Look at me,princess”, he commanded. I obeyed him, seeing him grin at me.

“That’s right,princess. Watch what I’m doing to you, to your tight little pussy”

With that, he plunged his two fingers inside of me, making me squeeze the sheets. His mouth came back to my clit, abusing it in the most delicious of ways.

His pace fastened and I felt that magical knot forming in my stomach. Sensing that I was close to cumming,he stopped making a whine come out of my lips.

“Don’t worry,princess. The fun is about to start”,he smirked and winked at me.

“W-wait! What about you? I want to play with you too”, I said with a pout.

He smiled and caressed my cheek.

“Other time,baby. My cock can’t wait any longer to be inside you”.

He took off his gray sweatpants and boxers, showing me perfect and toned body. My eyes traveled from his face,passing to his collarbones,chest,abs and finally his erect cock, that was dripping with pre cum,begging for attention.

While he was busy looking for a condom, I wrapped my hand around his shaft, pumping it slowly, making him tense and moan above me.

He shooed my hand, soon after, putting the condom hurriedly. He put both of his hands on each side of my head,giving a peck on my forehead making my heart melt.He slowly looked at my eyes and silently asked for permission that was hurriedly conceded it.

The romantic aura was soon gone when he inserted his dick inside of my pussy. He hissed loudly whilst I moaned his name in a high pitched voice. He slowly set the pace, fastening minute by minute.

I clawed his back,hissing at the amount of force he was using to fuck me.

“Yeah,you like that,princess?”, he asked me breathlessly.”Do you like when I pound into your tight little cunt like that?”

The amount of pleasure made impossible to answer to his dirty talk, so I just moaned instead. But Jungkook wasn’t very pleased with that.

“Answer me when I’m talking to you,princess”, he said giving me a hard slap on my right thigh, earning him a yelp from my lips.

“I’m gonna ask you one more time and you better answer,baby, or you’ll regret. Do you like when I pound into your tight little cunt,huh?”

“YES! Yes,Jungkook! Oh my God,please Jungkook!”,I replied him gripping his hair locks between my fingers.

“Good girl”,he praised me,going even faster,making my whole body bounce.One of his hands went down and grabbed one of my boobs, squeezing it gently even with his rough pace.

Just when I was about to feel that knot again,he stopped and pulled out of me.

He didn’t give me time to protest as he roughly turned me around. Instinctively, I lifted my butt earning a slap from Jungkook that made me moan in delight.

“I wish I could do this all day,but I’m desperate to milk you with my cum”

He started his violent thrusts again. He put one hand on my hip and the other on my waist,keeping me steady. The only sound that could be heard was skin slapping skin and our moans, that were getting louder and louder. Surely, the boys and the whole building was aware of what we were doing however we weren’t minding it.

“Fuck,you feel so good around me,baby”

“Yeah? You like when my pussy squeezes your cock?”, I asked with a smirk, trying to look behind me, seeing him with his head thrown back.

“Oh,fuck, I like it so much,princess”,he said looking at me.”You look so beautiful on all fours for me”

A few more thrusts and the knot on my stomach was just ready to explode.

“J-Jungkook! I’m close! I-I’m going to-”

“No,you’re not allowed to cum until I say so,baby”

“But ple-”

“I said no”,he said with the most dominating and sexiest voice ever,making me whimper and nod as a good girl.

I was trying my best not to cum and at the same time I was praying that he found his release soon, if not I’m damned.

“Oh,princess! I’m so going to cum!’”, he started to let out multiples ‘ah’s’, indicating that he was indeed close to his orgasm.

“Please,Jungkook! Let me cum!”, I pleaded.

He hovered me,pressing his chest against my back. The hand that was holding my hip traveled to my clit and started massaging it making my eyes roll.

“Cum for me,princess”,he commanded and it seemed that my body only needed his words because soon after I was clenching around his member,making him cum with me.

He gave a few final thrusts and then he pulled out of me. I fell on the bed feeling too tired to move,I heard shifting around so I presumed that he was getting rid of the condom.

I soon felt his presence beside me as the bed shifted with his weight. He gently pulled the white cover over us,bringing my body close to his,making me lay on his chest.

I was already drifting off to sleep but not before feeling Jungkook’s lips on my hair.


And hearing his final command,I felt asleep with the happiest and most genuine smile on my face.

                                               ©  2017, Starwarsrin 

                                                 All rights reserved.

My Drama Year!

It had been some time since I had wifi, so I ventured to the library to download K-Dramas for entertainment purposes. This is My Year in K-Dramas. The last two are recent and I have watched them with wifi because I am in a better place. Yay!!

     1. Oh My Venus

      This drama started out being really sad to me, then it became rather weird, but then I thought it was cute. It is one of those dramas that I would definitely say I enjoyed. Without wifi and cable, it was also hard to watch a second or third time. By the third time, I just went through my favorite episodes/moments. Would still recommend! 4.5 STARS!


           2. Cheese in the Trap 

                Now this one I was actually kind of bored with until about the fifth episode. Sorry, but true. I had a hard time understanding why it was popular. Of course, though, I did enjoy watching it after getting into it. After some time, it had me hooked and trying to figure things out as it went and the male lead had me all confused and stuff! Kekeke Would I recommend? Yes. 4 STARS!


    Originally posted by b2utygot7

            3. Liar Game

                This one I stumbled upon by chance. I looked it up on Google and decided the synopsis made the show seem very intriguing. So I downloaded it and enjoyed every second of this mystery thriller!! From beginning to end I was hooked, like a fish on a line!! I could not get enough of the show and even checked to see if there was another season. I still need another one. TOTALLY DAEBAK!!! 5 STARS


            4. Descendants of the Sun

                 THIS ONE!! Yes, this one. This drama I kept in my files for a long time, even after I moved TWICE(!!!!). I love this drama from beginning to end and may have watched it about ten times… Without skipping episodes. I love it so much, I had the poster as my phone’s background and had ringtones. I am not ashamed!! Song-Song couple is love, dude!! This one breaks the record. WAY PAST 5 STARS!!!


             5. W: Two Worlds

                  Now tell me why Lee Jong Suk said he wants to play a more masculine type of character when he did such a cool, manly job playing as his character Kang Chul?! He is the definition of perfection and I love him so much. I started feeling rather odd when I wanted him to catch me in a bathroom. Like, I volunteer to be scared like that!! All semi-joking aside, the drama is freaking awesome and the story line was well thought out. I would like to meet the writer and get some tips. 5 STARS!!!


    Originally posted by sugavsweet

             6. Goblin

                 So many favorite scenes, so much bromance. Is it bad of me to say I loved this drama from beginning to end, too? I hope not. Although, for some reason, I wasn’t too into the beginning scene of the first episode. I shrug when I think about it because I have no idea why I’m not pleased with it. Gong Yoo did amazing acting out the battle and the movements were great and everything, but eh. ANYWAY! This drama had me swooning over anything and everything and even made me feel lonely af. I super love love it, though and totally watched it again and again!! Another one that broke the scale!!


            7. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

                 I just recently finished this one, so fresh out of the mind reaction. Here goes. NAM JOO HYUK, STOP STEALING MY HEART!!!!!! The story was great and the acting was even greater!! I love that it’s not the typical thin boy loves thin girl. Noooope, nope, nope. I am so in love with the story, I may go watch it again. With each episode, I had to make sure I was breathing because Nam Joo Hyuk kept me from breathing correctly. The love scenes were so cute and well thought out and that’s what really had me feeling like a high school teenager again. Oh, those feelings of blissful love. Sigh. I would definitely recommend this drama that peoples ears would fall off. I’m so in love with it. ANOTHER SCALE BREAKER!!!!!


    Originally posted by irrational-obsessions-gottcha78

    Thank you so much for reading!! (If you did) I know it was super long and not well typed, but I was afraid of mentioning any spoilers. Please keep in mind that I really did enjoy each and every one of these dramas. No harm, no foul.

    Got a drama you want to recommend I watch and review? Leave me a comment/message! Thank you!! Heartu!

    Too Late

    Summary: When Steve leaves you for another woman, it tears you apart, but Steve might feel the same way. 

    Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

    A/N: The request got lost somewhere, but the person asked for an angsty/motivational story. I hope this satisfied whoever requested it. Happy reading! 

    The day you met Steve was unlike any other. He had been so kind enough to pretend to be your boyfriend to scare off the man who kept staring at you the entire night, and the both of you eventually ended up hanging out until the sun was about to rise. From then on, you and Steve had become inseparable. 

    You knew he was Captain America. Not many people realise it when they meet Steve, granted they all think he’s dead, but you weren’t one of them. You hadn’t said anything, though, afraid he would think of you as some fangirl who only wanted to get to know him because he was a legend. You hadn’t told him that you were a big fan of his work until you got to know him. Steve laughed it off, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Since then, nothing has become in between the both of you. He didn’t bring you to the tower a lot, wanting to keep his work life and his personal life separate, but when he did, the other Avengers made sure to get a good look at you. 

    They didn’t tell you, but they admired your kindness and your willingness to get to know Steve. It had been tough getting used to the new century and you were there to help him adjust. They loved that you made him happy and they loved that he always came into work with a smile. You were their own version of normality, too, as always happy to hear the every day tasks you did as a non-Avenger.

    Writing songs and poems had been a big part of your life for a while, but you fell off the wagon. You weren’t sure what hit you, but your life began to change before you and Steve met. Your friends were no longer people you trusted, your family was all the way across the country, and you didn’t find any motivation to write. That had been the breaking point and you frequently visited bars to get you mind off of things. 

    However, Steve brought you out of that funk and you found yourself in love with writing once again. You filled your notebook with thoughts for poems and songs, and wanted to surprise Steve one day with all of the things you had said throughout the time you’ve been dating. 

    But that joyful feeling came to an end. 

    You sensed something was off when Steve stopped swinging by your apartment. He called and texted you less and less, and started to leave you one word answers of short replies whenever you did. You didn’t see him much anymore and assumed work was taking a toll on him. You didn’t pressure him to talk about it, but you constantly reminded him that you were there to listen if he ever felt like talking. But, that wasn’t the case. 

    You sat in your apartment and heard someone knock on the door. You opened it and your best friend, Kelsey, stood outside, looking extremely distraught. 

    “Y/N…,” she trailed. 

    “What is it?” you said, anxious because she looked anxious. “Are you okay?” Kelsey sighed. 

    “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete asshole. It’s just that I don’t want anything to get in between us and I just need to say it.” Kelsey took a deep breath and you crossed your arms, waiting. 

    “I’m in love with Steve,” she blurted out after trying to compose herself. “We ran into each other one day and I figured I’d try to get to know him because he means so much to you. We started hanging out more and one thing led to another, and we kissed. I’m sorry, Y/N. Steve said he wanted to talk to you, but I needed to as well.” 

    You stood in shock and didn’t know what to say. How could two people you trusted with your life do something to hurt you, unintentionally or not? Steve, the love of your life had pressed his lips against another woman. Kelsey seemed to be torn apart too and desperately tried to get you attention. 

    “Oh,” you said. “Well, who am I to get in the way of love?” you asked with a croak in your voice. Kelsey smiled sadly at you and reached for a hug. You awkwardly patted her shoulders until she let go. 

    “I don’t want this to ruin things between us, though,” she said. Her phone’s alarm rang and she looked at you. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Talk soon?” You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak without yelling unkind words. 

    Hours passed by and you constantly asked yourself why you weren’t good enough. The man who had pulled you out of thinking this way was the person responsible for putting you back on this mindset. Were you too boring? Were you not happy enough? Did he think it was a struggle to listen to you talk about your passions and struggles all the time? 

    You hadn’t cried yet and that worried you. You felt numb, not sad or angry. You hadn’t moved from the couch since Kelsey left and you started at the blank TV screen, replaying the moments right before Steve had made less effort in your relationship. 

    There was knocking on the door again and you assumed it was Steve. 

    “Y/N, we need to talk,” he said, looking at you. You gulped and nodded, letting him in. 

    “What do you want to talk about?” you asked in a small voice, fully knowing where this conversation was going. 

    “To put it simply, I met someone else,” he said, averting his gaze to the floor. “I know it sounds terrible, and it is, but I feel like we lost that spark between us. I don’t want string you along because that would make me the biggest asshole.” As if you weren’t already the biggest asshole, you thought to yourself. 

    “Well, I don’t want to stand in the way of the person you love,” you said, gritting to your teeth. You thought about cussing him out, but it’s no use. You were tired, you wanted to be alone, and yelling at Steve wouldn’t make you feel any better. 

    “Uh, thanks. I hope we can still be friends?” Friends. This line was the line you dreaded. All of your ex-boyfriends had said this line to you and you knew you would never speak to Steve again. You hated that you weren’t speaking up to fight for him, but why would you fight for someone who didn’t want to be fought for? You could see Steve’s interest somewhere else and you swallowed your pride, wanting this moment to be over.

    “Yeah, sure,” you said. Steve awkwardly smiled at you and walked towards the door. 

    “See you around, Y/N.” 

    You hadn’t. 

    Back at the tower, it had been weeks since the Avengers saw you and they were wondering where you had run off to. It was unusual that Steve had stopped talking about you and stopped bringing you by. Tony, especially, liked having you around because he thought you had the most eloquent way of talking. Natasha liked your wit, too, and was genuinely upset that you weren’t around. They started to ask Steve, who kept saying you were busy. Between missions and reports, the team accepted his answer and didn’t think twice. 

    But one day, Steve brought Kelsey to the compound with his arm around her waist and kissed her lips in front of everybody. 

    “Uh, Steve? That’s not Y/N,” Tony pointed out. Kelsey felt embarrassed and Steve looked at Tony. 

    “This is Kelsey, my girlfriend,” he uttered. Tony cocked his head. 

    “But Y/N -”

    “Y/N and I broke things off a long while ago. It was the right time to do so, Tony. I didn’t feel the spark anymore. I’ve found it with Kelsey,” he said, grinning at the girl draped in his arms. Tony watched at the two kissed and felt disgusted. Steve chose to leave you for another woman and that probably meant he’d never see you again. 

    The other Avengers learned about the break up and about his new girlfriend. They didn’t like her very much, but granted it was because they thought you and Steve were the couple who would grow old together and live the happiest life. None of them liked when Kelsey was in the compound. She felt like an intruder, but they couldn’t say anything. They were nauseated because they were so used to you being around, cracking jokes and talking to them like they were people who you’d meet on the street. Kelsey seemed to only think of them as superheroes and didn’t bother to get to know them beyond their suits. 

    You, on the other hand, were a mess. You cried yourself to sleep and you cried when you woke up. You only left your apartment when you needed to, and despite having friends who supported you, it didn’t feel like they were helping much. Diana Prince, or Wonder Woman, had heard of this breakup through Wanda and gave you her support and words of encouragement. Diana had a soft spot for you after the two of you met at one of Tony’s parties and she wanted to get to know you more, but it never seemed to blossom with her being away all the time for her day job and her night job. 

    “Men are not worthy of you if they make you cry,” she had said, rubbing the upper portion of your back. “Steve is just another man in this big world and I’m positive you will find your happiness once again.” 

    You sniffled and nodded, blowing your nose. “You’re right. I’m done crying over somebody who doesn’t give a damn about me.” Diana’s words had uplifted your spirits and she helped you regain your smile. 

    What you didn’t count on was losing your notebook filled with your poems and songs. It was sacred to you and you wanted to expand on your thoughts. You figured the first step to getting over Steve was to face the fact that you were happy together, but now you were to individuals with different goals. You flipped your house upside down before deciding to visit the tower to ask Steve if he had it. 

    You swallowed as you approached the front desk. This was the last place you wanted to be, but writing was so important to you and you couldn’t reproduce everything you had already written. 

    “Do you have an appointment?” the secretary asked. 

    “Oh, uh, no. I’m Y/N Y/L/N and I was just hoping to find something that was mine. I think I left it in the Avenger compound.”

    “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in without an appointment. That area is strictly off limits unless accompanied by one of them or if you have a badge.” You sighed and began to walk out the door when you heard Tony shout. 

    “Y/N, wait!” You turned around and saw him running towards you. 

    “Tony,” you breathed, looking at him.

    “Hey, kiddo,” he said, engulfing you in a hug, but let go soon after. “Sorry, I know it must be weird, I just missed you and -” but you cut him off and wrapped your arms around him. 

    “I missed you too, you big goof,” you said. “I think I lost my notebook and I’d really like to find it. This is the only place I haven’t looked.” Tony led you to the elevators and happily let you up. 

    The compound was exactly as you remembered it. The stain in the middle of the couch was still there, Sam’s ridiculous lamp stood by the balcony, and the notch that Natasha had put into the wall by accident was still right above the photo of Tony and Pepper. 

    “Y/N!” Bucky said when he saw you. You grinned and waved at him. The entire group was lounging around and perked up when Bucky said you name.

    “It’s nice to see you guys,” you said. “Is Steve around? I lost my notebook and I kind of need it back.” 

    “Sure, let me get him,” Bucky said. He grunted when he realised he’d have to see Steve and Kelsey together.

    Steve came out with your notebook and tried to make it as normal as possible. “Is this it?” he asked. “I found it in the corner of my room and thought it was mine.” You flipped through the pages and nodded. “I didn’t want to look into it in case there was something personal.” 

    Ah, the ever so caring Steve. There he was, staring back at you, and you felt as if you might accidentally blurt out you still liked him.

    “Thanks. Can’t really reproduce these.” You both laughed awkwardly. 

    “What’s in it? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

    “Just a bunch of stuff I’ve written. You got me back into writing and I’ve written a lot of things since, uh, well, you know.” 

    “Since we dated?” you cringed. The wound was still so fresh. 

    “Yeah, that. I should go. Thanks for keeping it,” you said before nodding at Steve and the team behind him. You turned to walk to the elevator and Wanda spoke up. 

    “We’ll see you around, right?” she asked, her eyes becoming sadder. She knew the answer, but she wanted to be comforted. 

    “Of course,” you croaked. 

    “What would we do without you, right?” Clint joked. “I mean, I wouldn’t want Budapest to be broadcasted all over the world.” You chuckled and Natasha joined in. They had been so kind to share their Budapest story with you. It was the only inside joke you shared with the Avengers. 

    “Budapest stays a secret. See you ‘round, guys.” You gave one last final wave before leaving.

    As the year progressed, you landed a job where you wrote songs for the biggest artists in the music industry until people found out you could sing. In no time at all, you were given a record deal and everyone in the world knew your name. 

    You hadn’t thought much about Steve and when you did, it didn’t hurt you at all. You accept that he moved on and you had to as well. Soon enough, your music played everywhere and your face was on billboards. Steve had noticed this too and was happy you moved on, but his heart tugged every time he heard you on the radio and every time he saw a promotional poster for your anticipated album.

    “She’s going so well for herself,” Bucky commented. Steve tucked his hands in his jean pockets and looked at the ground. 

    “Uh, yeah. Good for her.” 

    “You okay?” 

    “Yeah, I am. It’s good that she’s chasing her dreams.” 

    As the day progressed, the team and Kelsey were hugely around the TV, watching E! Entertainment. They made it a joke - they’d always try to see what the media said about them and make fun of them later. What they didn’t anticipate was seeing you on the screen.

    “Y/N!” the host exclaimed. “Tell us more about these two singles you released. The world is going nuts over them and everyone knows your name.” The team watched as you laughed.

    “I’m happy they’re doing well. It’s sweet, whenever I meet fans, they always tell me how it’s so relatable and that they’re happy someone understands them.”

    “What are these songs about?” 

    “The first single I released was actually about an ex-boyfriend of mine. I wrote it when were were together and I thought about the things I loved about him most. I really wanted to emphasise how much he had helped me become a better person, basically.” 

    The team smiled, but at the same time felt sad that you hadn’t gotten the chance to tell Steve this. Kelsey was jealous that her ex-best friend was achieving her goal, and Steve shifted in his seat, both slightly uncomfortable yet curious as to what you were going to say. 

    “And the second single?” 

    “It started out with me furiously writing about how much I hated my ex. In reality, I don’t. He’s a good person, really. But the song turned from writing about all the things I didn’t say to a self-help guide. I wanted to make myself feel better and I’m happy that other people are embracing themselves instead of focusing on someone who won’t love them back.” 

    Steve winced and he felt his heart fall to the bottom of his chest. Had you really suffered? He hadn’t noticed because he was spending too much time with Kelsey. 

    “Three of the songs on my album focus on the relationship I had with this person,” you began. “I lost my will to write for a while, but got back into it, and now I feel like it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”

    “If you could say something to your ex, what would it be?” 

    The team watched as you pondered your answer, eager to know what you were going to say. 

    “I’d tell him that I’m happy with my life now and that he should keep doing the things that make him happy too. He’s a nice guy, really, so I’d tell him to keep being true to his heart because that got me to take the leap of faith and land a record deal.” The interviewer laughed at the joke you made and the team smiled. The show turned into a commercial and Tony spoke up. 

    “I’m so proud of her,” he said. 

    “Me too,” Wanda added. “She’s already nominated for six Grammys this year.” 

    “Holy shit, that’s a lot,” Sam added. 

    “Not to mention her album isn’t even out yet,” Natasha said. 

    Kelsey tried to block them out and held onto Steve like he was her lifeline. Steve felt like his whole world was crashing down and wondered if leaving you was the right decision. At first, Steve thought you and him weren’t meant to be and that you didn’t love him either, because you had been so nonchalant when be broke up with you. Now he realised you hadn’t cried or yelled at him because you didn’t see the point in fighting for him when he said he committed himself to someone else. 

    “Steve?” Kelsey whispered. “I think I’m gonna go back to my place for the night. I’m a little uncomfortable.” Steve nodded and watched her walk out the door. The team was immersed in their own conversation about your success. 

    “I want to design her stage and the lighting,” Tony said. 

    “I could be her body guard and security,” Natasha added. 

    “Oh, me too! I’d beat up any fan that stalks her,” Bucky said. 

    Everyone laughed. Steve stood around and tried to genuinely laugh at their jokes, but he wondered if leaving you was the right choice. He had heard your songs on the radio, but he didn’t know they were about him. Steve often thought about the person you wrote them for and wondered if you met someone else, but now that he knew you loved him and felt like you had nothing when he left, he felt so guilty. He had pushed away someone who genuinely loved him for Steve Rogers, not Captain America. Kelsey was great, but not as great as you. Steve had deciphered that for himself when he heard you say you got over him with his own ears. 

    But it was too late. He hadn’t seen you since the day you came to find your notebook and Steve wished he could’ve read all the things you wrote about him. That night, he sat in his room and wondered if his love life was doomed because he let go of someone who cared about who he was inside. 

    Tag List: @wildefire, @amazonprincess-diana, @whiskeyandmarvel

    Live Stream ♡ Christian Yu

    Originally posted by highgrnder

    “Ah.. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.. what a gorgeous girl.”

    Christian was live streaming once again and I was currently at a shoot getting my necessities together before leaving. I received the Instagram notification and decided to see what my soon to be man had to offer. 

    A lot of people figured we were together because of what we post via Instagram, and Twitter. We were just two individuals obviously in love with each other but too afraid to take action. We acted like a couple, that’s for sure. I met Christian when Dabin was searching for a certain someone for his ‘RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW’ music video, and he just so happened to be paired up with my very best friend. 

    “Who is Y/N?” Christian repeated from a fan who commented.

    “She’s a friend of mine. Such an appealing girl.. ridiculously stunning, and over all just a great catch.”

    You’d have to be stupid to not realize how intrigued he was. Not a day goes by of him not expressing his genuine feelings to poor little Dabin about you.

    “I’ve hung out with her plenty of times, and not a second goes by where I’m not completely fantasized by her damn beauty of a smile. I swear she’s got to be Santa’s little present to me or something,” Christian grinned before placing his chin on his balanced fist. 

    Keep reading

    A Sadist’s Paradise - Pt. 3

    Genre; hella smut

    Length; 2,300+ words

    Kink(s); Daddy kink, exhibitionism, sexual torture, sexual sadism, degradation, etc

    Originally posted by shittyoongi

    As your boyfriend slowly slid off you, he made his way over to his sadistic little toy box. 
    “So my sweet little dongsaengs..” He purred to the younger men, only glancing back at them for a second- that dark, intimidating demeanour returning in an instant. “Do you like rope?” He asks, chuckling after as he rummages through the small chest for a moment- pulling out two separate wrapped up bundles of baby blue rope.  

    Both men bite their lower lips anxiously as their Hyung walks over to them. “Don’t be nervous my sweet puppies…” Yoongi purrs as he swiftly ends up behind them.
    “I promise we’ll all have lots of fun.” Gently runs the backs of his hands along their spines, “Now, put your hands behind your back for me." 

    "Yes- Yes, Sir.” Jimin sweetly replies as his still semi-shy Hyung stays silent though they both comply with ease. 

    Keep reading


    idk why i’m posting this here but,,,,,,,my choir went on a little tour a couple of months back and i just got a hold of one the videos my roommate took when she came to see..(catch a solo from ya girl at :48) anyway it’s a really pretty song and i just…yea lmAo ok i’m just gonna post this and stop rambling.

    English words/lines in The War

    (Not including oh, uh, yeah, ah, ooh, ya, yo or any of those common ones)

    The Eve (전 여):

    “What’s the situation” - D.O

    “It’s you” - D.O

    Ko Ko Bop:

    “Shimmie shimmie Ko Ko Bop I think I like it” - Baekhyun, Xiumin

    “Down down” - Baekhyun, Xiumin

    “Shimmie up” - Chanyeol

    “It goes down down baby” - Chen, Baekhyun, Xiumin, D.O

    “We going Ko Ko Bop” - Kai

    “Baby are you down” - Sehun

    “Shakin’ up” - Chanyeol

    “Break it down now” - Sehun

    “We go down now” - Kai

    “It’s about to go go” - Sehun

    “Down down baby” - Xiumin, D.O

    “Going Ko Ko Bop” - Chen/Chanyeol, All

    What U Do:

    “Yeah I want it” - Chen

    “Yeah  I need it” - Chen

    “Say yeah” - D.O, Baekhyun

    “You” - Suho, Xiumin

    “What U do?” - D.O, All

    “Got me like” - Xiumin, Kai

    “Love you right” - Chen, Suho, Baekhyun

    “Baby” - Chen, Suho

    “Baby we can go higher” - D.O

    “Let’s stay up all night” - Chen, Baekhyun

    “Baby you’re so beautiful” - D.O


    “You could be my only star” - Chen, D.O

    “You could be the moonlight” - Chen, D.O

    “Forever” - Baekhyun, D.O, Kai, Chen

    “Girl you got me up” - Chanyeol

    “Heart” - Chanyeol

    “Pinball” - Chanyeol

    “Make me feel so” - Sehun

    “No matter where you are” - Suho, Bakehyun

    “Cause you” - D.O

    “Let’s make it forever, ever” - Baekhyun, Chen, Kai

    “Don’t break my soul” - Kai, Baekhyun, D.O

    “Yo, nice skirt” - Chanyeol

    “Mound” - Chanyeol

    “Pitcher go, she’s the baddest one around the town” - Chanyeol

    “Put it work” - Chanyeol

    “She get it all” - Sehun

    “Celeb” - Sehun

    “Hit me and we going hard” - Sehun

    “Official” - Sehun

    “Hold up” - Chanyeol

    “Rock and roller” - Chanyeol

    “Quater” - Chanyeol

    “Controller” - Chanyeol

    “Feel our soul” - Chanyeol

    다 이 아 몬 드 (Diamond):

    “Fire” - Baekhyun

    “Shining” - Xiumin

    “Chance” - Chanyeol

    “Blow up” - D.O, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Chen

    “We glow up” - D.O, Baekhyun, Chen

    “Glow up” - Chanyeol

    “We drive em’ crazy crazy” - Chen, Suho, Xiumin

    “We do it daily daily” - Chen, Suho, Xiumin

    “We be” - Kai, Chanyeol

    “Shinin’ shinin’ just like a diamond” - Baekhyun, Xiumin, Kai, D.O, Suho, Sehun

    “Blindin’ blindin’ you like a diamond” - Baekhyun, Xiumin, Kai, D.O, Suho, Sehun

    “No, no” - Chanyeol

    “Baby” - Baekhyun, D.O

    “Shine on, shine on” - Chen, Chanyeol

    “Only one” - Xiumin

    “Like a what” - Chanyeol

    너 의 손 짖 (Touch it):

    “Sexy” - D.O, Baekhyun

    “Baby” - D.O, Chen, Baekhyun, Xiumin, Suho

    “Ay and she goes like” - Kai

    “Ay all the girls go” - Kai

    “Feeling good now” - Chanyeol, Xiumin

    “Yeah I’m feeling good now” - Chanyeol

    “Boom” - Sehun

    “What what” - Kai

    “Black out uh” - Kai

    “All my ladies say yeah” - Chen

    “Feel me” - Chanyeol

    “Sing it again” - Chen

    “Babe” - Baekhyun

    “Oh you got what I want” - Xiumin, D.O

    “I can’t help myself” - Chen

    “Tell me if you want me” - Chen

    “Sing it, sing it baby” - D.O

    “C’mon c’mon do it again” - Suho

    “Watch it baby” - Baekhyun

    소 름 (Chill):

    “Tonight” - Chen

    “Oh no” - Chen

    “What I do do do do do” - Chen

    “Show ya” - Sehun, Suho

    “Baby” - Sehun

    “You hovering over my head like blanche” - Chanyeol

    “Caffeine” - Chanyeol

    기 억 을 걷 는 밤 (Walk On Memories):

    “Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it” - All

    내 가 미 쳐 (Going Crazy):

    “It’s killing me” - Chen

    “But it was you” - Sehun

    “Oh no” - D.O

    “Don’t know what you want” - Baekhyun

    “I hate you” - Chen, All

    “Baby, won’t you stop” - Xiumin

    “You drive me crazy” - Sehun

    “So much more” - Chen

    “I let you control” - Chen

    “Going crazy” - Kai, Sehun

    “Go go going crazy” - Kai, Xiumin

    “I wanna know what’s next” - Baekhyun

    “Adrenaline rush” - D.O

    “Don’t know what you do to me, oh” - D.O

    “Call me crazy” - Chen

    “Up and down like a rollercoaster” - Chanyeol

    “Upside down” - Chen

    Final Tally:

    Chen: 30
    Chanyeol: 28
    D.O: 25
    Baekhyun: 22
    Xiumin: 17
    Sehun: 15
    Kai: 15
    Suho: 11

    Originally posted by baekhyunsama


    This is going to be long. I need to vent and grieve…

    Chester Bennington has died.

    I feel like I have lost someone who loved me when I was very young. Who reached out to my small lonely child self, with his pretty voice, nice face and sad songs and told me that he was my friend.


    Chester’s death is layered with so much heartbreak, there are so many levels to how horribly sad the whole situation is. I felt like I was unable to grieve properly because I found out while I was staying in a travellers hostel in Portugal and I was crammed in with a lot of strangers. I’m home now and cried a lot while drawing this. 

    When I first saw that Chester and Mike were guests on Good Mythical Morning, I put off watching it, not sure why. I think because I knew watching them would stir up a lot of very old emotions about the band that I wasn’t ready to feel again. That night he died, I was lying in a three tiered bunkbed, surrounded by nine sleeping girls from all over the world. I watched the GMM episodes, I stopped and started about four times before I actually played them through to the end.

    And something surprising happened, I laughed, like, out loud. It was so funny, I had to put a hand over my mouth to shut up.  It was fun and so silly and goofy, they were having such a good time singing stupid parody songs of their own music, singing about Cheetos and Pot Noodles. They were so funny. And happy? Sure, it was sad of course, but more so it was just nice. I think it is so important to …how do I say this, remember the stuff thats considered un-important? This was a silly, goofy family friendly YouTube breakfast show, but I felt the grief being healed from my body. 

    Chester killed himself. He did. It happened. He felt such terrible anguish in one small moment that he couldn’t see any other way out, it happened, it shouldn’t of happened, so much should not have happened, but it did. But that does not mean that the happiness and joy he experienced in his life, those moments, were in anyway false, or untrue, or changed in anyway by what happened. 

    Life is full of sad moments and happy moments. The good moments don’t fix or prevent the bad moments, and the bad does not ruin the happy times, or make them un-important or of no value.  These things don’t cancel each other out, that’s just the way it is. So when someone dies in a terrible, devastating way, still, try to celebrate life. Chester, like many others, had hard experiences in his life, he may have had a bad beginning and a bad end, but this does not mean he had a tragic life, or one without happiness. 

    Remember the good, goofy, silly and fun moments, the important moments, that’s what I want to do. This was a clever, creative, hardworking, hilarious, empathetic, talented artist. So here’s to you, my friend. From the first time I stumbled upon you singing on some giant tower on TV, with no knowledge of who you were, what your name was, what the band was, or the name of the song. To the last, when you sang a song about Global Warming and flaming hot Cheetos while pretending to play an untuned bass with Mike rapping in between trying not to laugh.

    Good Mythical Morning spent the last year making me feel safe and not alone in the adult world. A lifetime ago, Chester Bennington, my first ever crush, made me feel like someone loved me. I will never forget you.


    Billie Eilish Lyrics For the Signs
    • Aries: Go ahead and watch my heart burn
    • With the fire that you started in me
    • But I'll never let you back to put it out // watch
    • Taurus: I'm scared
    • I've never fallen from quite this high // ocean eyes
    • Gemini: Help, I lost myself again
    • But I remember you // six feet under
    • Cancer: I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain
    • It's not like me to be so mean // hostage
    • Leo: Call me calloused, call me cold
    • You're italic, I'm in bold
    • Call me cocky, watch your tone // COPYCAT
    • Virgo: My V is for Vendetta
    • Thought that I'd feel better
    • But now I got a bellyache // bellyache
    • Libra: I wanna be alone, alone with you, does that make sense? // Hostage
    • Scorpio: You want me to be yours, well then you gotta be mine, and if you want a good girl, then goodbye // my boy
    • Sagittarius: I don't want any settled scores
    • I just want you to set me free // bored
    • Capricorn: Gold's fake and real love hurts
    • And nothing hurts when I'm alone // hostage
    • Aquarius: I just wish you could feel what you say
    • Show, never tell
    • But I know you too well
    • Kind of mood that you wish you could sell // idontwannabeyouanymore
    • Pisces: Can't you see that I'm getting bored?
    • Giving you every piece of me, piece of me // bored
    Electric Souls

    Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

    Summary : Peter Parker and (y/n) have been best friends since, well forever. And it’s no secret that (y/n) has been harboring the stupidest crush on him. And besides, he never really noticed her. Not like she wanted him to. Because he only seemed to have eyes for Liz Allen. 

    A/N: I’ve been imaging this for a while so I hope to make it a series. Enjoy! Also, if there’s any flashbacks they’ll be in italics. And this will be in first person POV but will occasionally switch to third person

    Warnings: light swearing, probably some angst, mentions of bullying, really long

        Chocolate eyes. Adorable curly hair. Faint freckles. The absolute cutest smile. Yep, that was Peter Parker. He was my best friend. And sadly, I’m sure that’s all he’d ever be to me. Honestly, I really needed to get over him. I just need to value the friendship we have, not ruin it because I have these dumb ass feelings. That’s what Michelle told me anyways. I should probably listen to her more often, she gives good advice. 

       “(Y/N)!” I turned my attention to Ned, who was running down the hall to me. He stopped for a moment once he reached me, catching his breath. “I got a new lego set! Doctor Who. 21,304 pieces.” I watched as he spoke excitedly, finding his smile contagious. 

        “Ned, I love Doctor Who, but you know I’m the absolute worst  at building these things.” He nodded with a sigh. 

       “I know, last time you got so frustrated you let yourself collapse onto the deathstar.” I scrunched my nose at the memory. Him and Peter had thought it was hilarious except for the fact that the deathstar we had spent hours putting together was now destroyed in a heap beneath me. I, on the other hand thought it was just painful. 

        “Oh no, her nose is scrunched. What are we talking about?” Peter seemed to have come up from nowhere. I jumped, my heart practically doing a somersault. “Aw,” he laughed, “Did I scare you?” I put my hand over my chest. 

        “Jesus Parker, I swear you come out of nowhere.” He just laughed, his face scrunching up in that adorable way that it always does. Then he turned back to Ned.

        “So what are we talking about?” 

        “The time (y/n) collapsed onto the deathstar,” I dragged a hand over my face as Ned excitedly went over the memory with Peter. Peter started laughing so much he almost snorted. I noted the looks our classmates gave us as they passed us down the hall. It’s not that it bothered me, at this point I was quite used to it. Our small friend group had never been popular, much less fit in. Most of the time I considered us the outcasts of Midtown. It only made sense with all the remarks and looks we received from everyone else in the school.

        “Pete it wasn’t that funny,” I rolled my eyes at his incessant giggling but couldn’t help but laugh myself. He gave me another bright-eyed smile. 

       “Oh it was that funny.” Ned gave a nod to support his statement. I rolled my eyes at the both of them before lightly punching each of their shoulders. 

        “I hate you guys.” Peter opened his mouth to reply, but the chime of the bell cut him off. I grabbed the books I needed from my locker and left waving and giving the boys a beautiful view of my middle finger. 

       The rest of the day wasn’t so bad. All I had to do was avoid people like Flash and Liz. It wasn’t that Liz was rude or anything like that. She was actually really nice. It was just that, well, she was all Peter ever seemed to talk or think about. And as selfish as this is, I just can’t bear to be around the girl who Peter dreams about loving. 

        “Earth to (y/n),” I shifted my gaze up to Michelle, who pulled me out of my reverie. She squinted her eyes at me, lowering her book. 

        “Sorry I-”

        “Was thinking about Peter again?” I froze as she finished my sentence. She raised her eyebrows at me. 

        “I- I was not-” She gave me another look and I sighed. “Alright. I was.” I let my head fall down onto the math book that I was supposed to be reading. Michelle sighed herself. She was probably disappointed in me. She probably saw me as a project. Something to work on and fix. Her goal was to get me completely over Peter. And I understood why too. 

        “Alright listen here. You’re going to focus now. No stupid boys. Just Math. Okay?” I gave her a nod, she was right after all. I really needed to focus on the important things. Like my schoolwork. And not like Peter Parker. 

        Peter blew a puff of air out as he looked up at the clock. Just fifteen minutes left. He tapped his pencil before lazily continuing to scribble notes of what his teacher was blabbing on about. He desperately wanted to get out of class. He couldn’t wait to talk to (y/n). She was always there to listen to him about anything. She was amazing really. Constantly there for him no matter what. She even listened to him go on and on about Liz. But he couldn’t help notice than whenever he did, her usual bright eyes seemed to sink into a sadder darker shade. But why would she be sad about it? Was she jealous of Liz? No, that’d make no sense. He let out another sigh, letting his gaze shift back to the clock. Five minutes left. 

        There was only five minutes left now before we were free to go home. And then once we got home we’d have another 3 hours worth of schoolwork to do. Fun. After those final painful minutes of note taking, the bell rang. I couldn’t have packed up my bag fast enough. 

         “Woah there (y/n) slow down,” I slowed my pace so Michelle could catch up with me. I shook my head and let out a breath that I didn’t know I had been holding. 

        “Sorry I just- I just needed to get out of there. I’ve had enough time in this prison for today.” Michelle raised her eyebrows into a surprised expression. 

        “I thought you loved school.” She was right, yet again. While most people complained, I never really minded school or having to sit in class to learn stuff. If there was anything that bothered me, it’d have to be the homework. Because when you have hours of work to do after school, there’s hardly any time to actually live

        “You’re right, It’s just been a long day I guess. I just need to-”

        “(y/n)!” Michelle and I turned at the sudden voice that interrupted my sentence. We were met by the sight of Peter running toward us frantically. Once he reached us he took one deep breath before speaking again. “Hey um I wanted to talk to (y/n) about some stuff.” He scratched the back of his neck with a nervous look. Michelle looked at Peter for a second, only making him fidget more. 

        “Yeah, alright.” She gave me a small pat on the shoulder before walking off in the other direction. Peter gave me a nervous smile. 

        “Sorry about her,” I shrugged and Peter just laughed. “So, what did you want to talk to me about, Pete?” 

        “Oh yeah, so I um…. Iaskedlizouttohomecomingandshesaidyes,” I blinked, trying to figure out what in the hell Peter had just said.

        “Alright, so let’s try saying that one more time. But this time, let’s try and say it so I can actually comprehend it.” He let out another nervous laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh along with him, leaning my head on his arm. 

       “So,” he took a deep breath, “I asked Liz out to homecoming and she said yes.” I froze then, unable to make my feet take any more steps. I could practically feel my heart tear again. It seemed like a new tear appeared each time he spoke of his affection for this girl to me. I lifted my head from his shoulder. He looked at me, awaiting any kind of response. I couldn’t help but notice how he bit his lip in anticipation, it only made the pit I was feeling inside me bigger and darker. 

        “That’s… great Peter. That’s really great. I’m happy for you.” I tried to pull my lips up into a smile for him. “Now I, I should get home.Goodbye Peter.”    


        Peter watched as she left. He couldn’t help but feel a sort of emptiness where she had her head resting on his shoulder. The sad smile that she had given him was replaying in his mind. Why was she so suddenly sad and broken looking? And why did she have such an unbelievably strong effect on him?  

        “What did you tell her?” He jumped at the sudden sound of Michelle’s voice. She was standing next to him. Now he understood what (y/n) meant whenever she jumped at his presence. 


        “What did you say to her? Se looked upset.” Michelle looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. 

        “I told her I’m taking Liz to homecoming. That’s all.” Michelle gave him a sad look before resting a hand on his shoulder. 

        “Poor Peter. You never see what’s right in front of you do you?” And with that, she walked off. He thought about that statement for a long time. He never saw what’s right in front of him? What did that have to do with anything? It probably didn’t occur to him until he was sitting on top of a rooftop, just finishing his run for the day as Queens’ one and only Spider-man. 

        “Hey Happy, It’s Peter,” He spoke into the phone, his legs dangling over the roof, “I stopped a robbery today. I also stopped a guy from getting mugged. And I- I realized I’ve been in love with the wrong girl this whole time..”

    A/N: Well it’s not fantastic but I hope you guys like it. If it’s popular enough maybe I’ll write more :) Also, check out my Wattpad : @ sociopathhh 

    An Essay about LGBTQ+ representation and art, tied up with a bit of a tribute to Stephanie Rice.

    I haven’t written something like this in quite a while. But I’ve been thinking a lot this past month about stories (even more than usual). So please be patient with all the caffeinated rambling I have to do here. 

    Needing to tell stories is something I have always known. There’s not a point in my life that I can look back on and not find in my younger self the intense will to put words and worlds, experiences and characters on paper. I’m sure this is a thing many artists and storytellers would say about their own lives. It’s the heart hammering, hand shaking need to find an outlet for experiences, passion, compassion and emotion that answers every “how did you know you wanted to do this” question with a “because I had to.”

    Being gay is something that I haven’t always known. And yes, I can look back on my life and point to moments and insecurities and road bumps that came from having always been gay. But I haven’t always known. Knowing came later. Knowing came with combined fear and confidence and the ability to eventually shatter the brick walls I’d built to hold my shoulders upright, in order to look at myself more clearly. And then I knew, and now it’s as though I always have.

    I spend a lot of time thinking about my experience coming out and the experiences of other LGBT people around me, and young kids who have come out and are coming out every day, either in quiet moments to themselves, or in one big fight with their families, or again and again each day to that Uber driver or that woman next to you on the plane, or your hair dresser who always asks who you’re dating. I spend a lot of time thinking about how that experience can be made easier, how kids can be received with more love, how we can better learn who we are before the years of self doubt. And no matter how much I think about anything, I am almost always brought back to the same two ways to fix anything. 1. Through giving and compassion and 2. Through art and stories. 

    With each generation in the LGBTQ community, the groundwork is laid for the ones that follow. From fighting for our right to live and be seen, to demonstrating that we’re just like everyone else, the generations before mine have laid a foundation that I am fortunate and humbled to stand on. In that light, I really and truly believe that it will be my generation that brings us alive, as a community, through art, that tells stories and writes songs so that generations after us can see themselves a little sooner, can look up to more than just a handful of queer artists, can grow up knowing and with families who know that there is no one normal, no cookie cutter sexuality, no right experience. 

    I have few memories of experiencing media that was specifically gay, growing up. But one of the clearest I do have is watching Pretty Little Liars with my mom. I grew up in liberal Massachusetts, outside Boston with loving, accepting parents. Even still, I can vividly remember a time when Emily, a then high school student on the show kissed her girlfriend and my mother explained that she just “didn’t like to see it” that it was fine and she had “nothing against it” but “she’s just a little girl” and she didn’t want to think about it. I’m sure my mom’s response wasn’t different from many others. So often, the world is okay with kids being queer but not okay with showing them a world of experiences like theirs beforehand. My mom is one of the most loving people I know and I tell this story with a fondness. She’s always been accepting of who I am. I’ve always been safe and supported. There’s a chance she doesn’t even remember this moment because she loves me for who I am. But when all is said and done those moments happen all the time and they pile up and they mean something. They mean something because there are young kids, across the country, across the world, in less loving houses, with less accepting parents, who don’t have the word for what they feel for years and years, who are sheltered from seeing Emily Fields kiss girls on TV, who watch their parents turn off movies if two boys are in love. Those kids hear song after song on the radio where girls sing about boys and boys sing about girls. They’re raised on fairytales and animated films about Princesses who marry Princes or don’t marry at all. They flounder, they search, they look for themselves here and there and everywhere and they come up empty handed. They come up with one song by a niche band that no one else listens to, or one sad lifetime movie about a woman’s dead gay son, or one lesbian on a TV show who inevitably ends up dead. 

    It’s my understanding that art is never meaningless. That culture and stories are what shape who we are, our worldview, our communities. It’s my understanding that when we diversify those stories we begin to change the world, stone by stone, kid by kid. 

    Often, I hear other LGBTQ people talk about not wanting to be defined by being gay or bi or trans. But the more I grapple with it and the more I exist in this world, living in LA, working in television, fighting for my chance to tell stories, the more I want to scream it. I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay. Because maybe if I yell it loud enough some kid will hear it and say “hey me too.” Because maybe if I pour that pride and pain and passion into my art it will reach their television some day, their home, their couch, and even if it doesn’t change their dad’s mind, it might make them feel less alone or give them the right words for the pain and passion that they feel. 

    I never watched The Voice before last year. I turned on season 11, at random, because I wanted to watch Alicia Keys be a coach. At some point, I stopped. It was fun but these aren’t the kind of shows that feel like they’re for me. They feel like they’re for corn fed, middle America, fighting over this pleasant looking man or that palatable country singer. And while I’m a creative who appreciates the rise and fall and hopes and dreams of other creatives as stories, these weren’t ones I was ever invested in. This year, I again turned the show on to watch season 12. Only to watch the auditions because those are fun and I get one more season with Alicia Keys. I remember the moment the show played Stephanie Rice’s backstory. I was watching it with one of my good friends. I remember we both perked up a little more when we saw her holding hands with her fiancée. I remember watching in an odd, baited breath silence as Stephanie began to tell her story and finding myself choking up just a little. For me, that emotional choked up feeling came from hearing things that I recognized, from watching her talk about the fear of disappointing her little sisters and knowing that exact same fear, to the same hands shaking, heart in your throat need to prove it’s alright, to make your way, to have your voice heard. Even as a person who has been out for years, an adult who is comfortable and confident in my sexuality, that feeling is still there. And as I watched it and watched her speak her truth and kiss another girl back stage I was reminded again that some kid, somewhere on a couch was going to see this, and feel that reliability, and feel seen and understood and not alone. I was driven again to keep fighting to tell my own stories.

    There is something significant about pain and diversity and art that isn’t discussed enough. Art is universal and can be interpreted and understood and seen and heard and felt by anyone. But there is a rare and often overlooked feeling that comes when art feels like it understands you. When someone says words or shows an emotion that you can put your finger on and say you’ve felt. I stuck with the Voice after that. I watched specifically to follow Stephanie’s journey. For one, because she’s an incredibly talented artist, and for two, because I have a distinct understanding of how much harder that fight to make your way is.

    Just a few nights ago I was driving, after my last day at my job in the Shannara Season 2 Writers Room, at about midnight down the freeway, and I was loudly singing along to Stevie Nicks with my windows down. On my reverse alphabetical order by artist itunes library, Stephanie Rice’s cover of White Flag comes right after Stevie Nicks’s Edge of Seventeen. So I’m driving and I’m singing and I know every damn word to Dido’s White Flag because I’ve heard it a hundred thousand times before and it was never even a song I cared about or liked. But I hadn’t heard this version that many times. Here I am, twenty-six years old, yelling at top volume in my car feeling my head get sort of swallowed and overcome and numbed by emotion as I do. Because when another gay woman sang that song, it changed. Because when another person fighting and dying to get their pain and emotion out of their chest sang that song, it changed. Because the emotion she sang with is emotion I know. Because suddenly yelling that I wouldn’t put my hands up and surrender became about something different. I can’t tell you what someone else meant by their song or their voice or their story. But I can tell you how it touched me personally. And I grinned like a damn idiot in my car because I felt a little stronger and a little prouder. 

    I’m in the process of writing a feature/novel package with the brilliant Dawson Schachter. It’s a romance between two women. And as we work on it we keep having to remind ourselves of the reality that these stories don’t get told often, that the market for them is smaller, that they have to be palatable to the big wigs that will look at them. And that is infuriating and compromising and fucks with every better angel and creative demon you have, let me tell you. That’s the ugly part people don’t talk about. That’s the reality of being an LGBTQ creator. Being too gay or too different or not gay enough, not sensational enough, being martyred to your community when you would love just a little less pressure today, knowing the pressure is the only way, being brave because anything else has never even been an option you were given, feeling like failure means letting down that kid who needs this story, feeling like it means letting down the kid in you who needed this story and now just needs to get it out. But I also know how inspiring all those feelings can be and how it can feel like singing along at brain numbing volume to White Flag with your windows down going 90 on a freeway at midnight in Los Angeles far away from your home and your family. 

    To Stephanie Rice, thank you. With as much weight as I can put in those two words, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for so bravely sharing your story and your art with America. Your vulnerability and light brought a story to televisions across this country that people need. And despite that particular journey wrapping up last night, I have no doubts that you will go on to keep sharing your soul through your music. As a fellow woman, as a fellow storyteller, you reminded me why I’m doing what I’m doing and I am so grateful to have gotten to hear your truth. You have a friend and supporter in Los Angeles if ever you need one. I look forward to hearing everything else you have to tell the world. 

    To anyone else reading this, my friends, young LGBTQ followers, fellow writers, coworkers, strangers consider this very long ramble a plea for you to continue to back and support LGBTQ artists and youth. Continue to lend them platforms and elevate their voices. Continue to diversify the stories you tell, paint televisions and movies and the radio with kids that look like them, that sound like them, that feel like them. And please, also consider this very long ramble, another in a pile of promises I’ve already made to you, that I will never stop doing everything I can to illuminate your hearts and your souls and your stories. If I have to scream them or deliver them from the ground with bloody knuckles, I will make them heard. I hope that together, we can continue to build a foundation for generations after us, through art where exposure has opened hearts and minds, where stories have saved lives, and art has changed the world. We fight, as we always have, for a better, louder, prouder, safer, and more inclusive future. 

    Rough boyfriend // Isaac Lahey smut

    Pairing: Isaac Lahey x reader

    Requested: Yes  “ i don’t know if my request sent bc my phone glitches but i’ll just resend it:) could you do a isaac smut, where y/n is a volleyball player and is at an open practice (anyone can watch). Isaac watches her practice but then overhears a bunch of boys talking about her ass and how pretty she is then Isaac gets jealous. You can end it however you like! sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense, english isn’t my first language! but i love your account! thanks xx” -unknown

    Plot: Just as the request goes :D

    Word count: 1 219

    Warning: smut, fluff, hardcore, rough sex, jealous Isaac, angry Isaac etc.

    Age: 15+

    A/N: I took a break for a couple of days, but I’m back again and writing :) I’m slowly writing y’alls requests so just wait, I didn’t forget about you. Here it is and enjoy ! xx

    The bell rang, I packed my bag and walked straight out of the classroom. Thank god it’s over for this week. I honestly couldn’t do more. I open my locker and push some books inside. I see Scott walking towards me and I smile. “Hey!” he says and hugs me. I hug him back “Hey!”

    “You’re coming to practise today right?” he asked me. I smiled “Of course, I got my clothes and everything.” He giggled and said “That’s awesome, see you then.” “Alright, see ya!” I said and he waved at me walking off. I waved back and took out my phone.

    It was a text from Isaac.

    Where are you babe?

    I responded

    Next to my locker, I’m going to practise x

    I put my phone into my pocket, close my locker and start walking.

    As I was on my way to changing room, when I hear loud foodsteps coming from behind. “Babe! Wait!” I hear him scream. I turn around and my face lights up as soon as I see him. He kisses me softly on lips and look at me. “You’re going to practise?” he askedd me and I nodded.

    “Wanna come and see? It’s an open one,” I said and he smiled. “I’d love to,” he said. He took my hand we started walking outside.

    “Okay! Stilinski! Shut up! Y/n! You go first!” coach says and I look at Stiles. He looked so confused and I laughed at him. “Why was he mad?” he asked me, when I walked to the front of the line. “You guys always talk your little wolfie stuff.” I said and he looked at Scott. I giggled, looked at Isaac and he waved at me. I nodded in response.

    I was wearing my usual practise clothes, but for some reason I heard some giggling coming from boys, but I just decided to ignore it. I sart jogging and throw the ball. i start walking back, but then Isaac grabs my arm. “Let’s go.” he said angrily and dead ass serious. “Where? I have my practise.” I said and that’s, when coach joined in.

    “Lahey! What the hell are you dong here?” he asked him. “I’m taking my girl.” he responded and walked away tearing me with him. I tried to resist, but he just picked me up and put me on his shoulder, carrying me out of there.

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    Reyna Writes: Hello Again - A Louper Reunion Fic



    (Two things: let it be known that I know nothing about hacking, and that this is canon divergent…but I’m a fanfic writer, so that should surprise no one. :P)

    Okay, fiddle with a code here, enter a new algorithm there–whoa, seriously? Someone was trying to trace him? Really?

    Louis snorted and ducked through another digital backdoor, leading the tracer astray with a false IP address. Once that was done, he continued on with his work, smirking all the while. This was way too easy at this point–either Louis had gotten way too good at what he does, or his targets just kept getting dumber and dumber. Either way, this was basically child’s play now.

    There was a small tap to his arm, and Louis paused.

    Speaking of children…

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    ❝ ※ *. :。 → verse/otp tags pt. 1

    i know there’s a lot of these floating around and already made, but i wanted to have my own list with my personal favorite lyrics that i can refer to for my own tags. i thought it might be helpful to others, so here we are !! under the cut, you’ll find 1,000 different lyrics that are organized into various categoriesgeneral/misc, slow burn, betrayal, unrequited, & more ) based on my interpretation on them. this list has everything from smokey robinson to dear evan hansen to eminem, so it should also be very diverse. trigger warnings will be placed in the categories they have them in. also, some words have been changed so they make more sense. let me know about any spelling mistakes or triggers i may have missed, as well as any lyrics i may have put in the wrong section. please like/reblog if you use or found this helpful, and most importantly, enjoy !!

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