i feel like somebody has done something like this before o god

boyfriend!Hoseok

find jungkook (here), v (here), yoongi (here) & jimin (here

  • hoseok, with as wild and open as he can be, is someone that romantically needs familiarity,,,,,,,like he’s the classic case of “oh no im in love with my best friend”
  • except he’s really good at hiding it from other members and people because yeah he initiates skinship with you, throws his hand around your shoulder when you’re showing him something on your phone, ruffles your hair, tells you you look cute when you wear something new or cut your hair, but hoseok is like this with literally everyone so you never know whose special to him ,,,,,,in that way
  • but hoseok plans his confession,,,,he doesn’t fall into his feelings headfirst like jimin or get straight to the point like yoongi,,,,,,he takes the time to learn what you like and who you are as a friend and then,,,,,when he feels like it’s right 
  • he asks you out and it feels like a shock,,,,because you?? hoseok chose ,,,,,,,you??
  • and it’s not secret that everyone always makes up assumptions about hoseok’s love life because with a personality so bright and so,,,,,hot,,,,,there’s got to be a long list of people willing to do hoseok’s every bidding
  • but here he is, standing in front of you with flowers on a saturday night and he wants you,,,,,,,to go on a date with him
  • and it’s a date that seems almost perfectly catered to you. hoseok remembers that movie you wanted to see,,,,,,he remembers that you like popcorn a certain way even if he doesn’t like it like that,,,,,,he knows that you always pick seats towards the middle of the row,,,,,,he gives you his jacket because the theater is cold
  • and after he knows what restaurant you’ve been dying to try,,,,,he picked a theater close to it,,,,,,he points out that he likes how you look in the lighting and that afterwords you guys should take a photo together to remember this day
  • when the waiter takes your order hoseok asks if the dish you’re getting has anything that you might get sick from and it’s so considerate?????
  • but that’s hoseok and ,,,,,,,he knows,,,,,,you,,,,,,he knows your quirks and habits and what you like and don’t like,,,,,,,,,,
  • and when he’s walking you home,,,,,,hoseok asks  you to close your eyes for a moment. he wants to give you a gift
  • and so  you do and you feel something drop into your hands and quietly you ask if you can open your eyes but he says,,,no there’s one more thing,,,,,,,
  • and that’s when you feel his hand on your cheek, gentle and delicate,,,,,,his warm breath and how he smells really good up close,,,,,,
  • “can i?” he asks for permission, just like a gentlemen and when you nod he kisses you with such softness???? such,,,,,,restraint because you can feel a chill go down your spine and his almost at the same time
  • and hoseok wouldn’t want to be rude and take it to far on the first date but if you grab him, open your eyes and ask him to kiss you again well,,,,,,
  • then hoseok takes a hold of your waist, lets you tangle your fingers in his hair and he kisses you the way he’s been dreaming of kissing you for soooooo long and you can see his restraint is broken,,,,and your lips are both going to be swollen,,,,,but it doesn’t matter because
  • now hoseok knows another thing about you: you,,,,get weak in the knees for his lips hehe
  • and hoseok is such a charmer,,,,,you get home and you’re still giddy over everything and you get a text that just reads “my angel, goodnight~” 
  • and just that makes you fall over onto your bed with hearts in your eyes because,,,,,,,,,,oh god you’ve liked hoseok for so long and finally,,,,finally he’s shown you that you’re,,,,the one he likes too
  • but hoseok has a bad habit of being selfless and you learn this over the course of your dates where sure you two will do things you like,,,,,,,but you never hear hoseok as much as mention what he wants to do
  • so that’s why you always ask hoseok that instead of doing something for yourself or whatever how about you two do something new???
  • and hoseok loves this,,,,,because hoseok likes going out and being active and you guys throw away the notion that you have to stick to what you know to have fun
  • like sure why not go to the new amusement park, get scared on the rides together and scream your lungs out while holding hands????? a new rollerskating rink is open,,,,,can either of you roller skate????? what does it matter! you have each other!!! a cafe just got opened and they have raccoons??? ok hoseok might be a little frightened but he wants to go and wow now you guys get to tell everyone in bts you petted a raccoon named sylvester like,,,,,,,life is for living so why not do it together with the person you trust the most
  • and hoseok every now and then will pull out the romantic,,,,picnic by han river, cuddling under the stars thing that you like but you always make sure to set up a nice date at the practice studio where you and hoseok put on random music and dance around while no one else is there
  • namjoon once walked in on you guys dancing and hoseok was doing a handstand while you were holding his ankles and namjoon was like,,,,,,,,,ok,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im out
  • and you and hoseok were like,,,,,,we might have scarred him,,,,,oh well
  • but what hoseok is really the best at,,,,i mean he’s the best at everything, but what he does that no one else has ever done for you is he supports you with his entire heart.
  • he never has doubts about your dreams and he never makes you feel like something is impossible. he trusts your decisions and gives his wholehearted love to you,,,,,,,
  • if you have a dream, hoseok shares that dream with you. that never changes about him
  • even if everyone else tells you you’re pushing it, even if they’re your family or close friends, hoseok will tell you with all his honesty that he thinks you can achieve anything
  • he’s always smiling, arms open to hold you, in your times of needs and that kind of emotional support is something that isn’t common. not the the level of hoseok
  • and sure he worries about your safety and well-being but he knows your potential and he does everything for you to know it too,,,,,,like how can somebody embody the word positive - idk but hoseok does 
  • and being around him never makes you feel weaker or discouraged because hoseok respects you,,,,,,,,and wants you to succeed 
  • he puts you before himself and it’s so lovely to have someone whose first thought when you tell them you want to try something is “do it! ill be behind you, supporting you the whole way!”
  • the sad part is,,,,,,hoseok fails to support himself the way he supports others but that’s ok because now he has you!!!! 
  • people see him for his smile, his athleticism, his never ending cheer but hoseok is honestly hard on himself. and you catch it in how he refers to himself as “ugly” or “unwanted”,,,sure he might say it jokingly but you know better
  • and when you’re alone, you can see the darkness the festers inside of him sometimes and that’s when you tell him how much he means to you. how you’re not joking when you tell him he’s the sun,,,,,he’s everything warm,,,,,,he’s kind and handsome and so so so so talented and that his family, his friends, and you are so proud that he’s here. all that he’s achieved and more
  • and hoseok cries sure ,,,,,, but when you give him that comfort and that assurance he just holds  you so tightly because you are everything precious to him and he is everything precious to you
  • and with each other you can really do anything,,,,,,,
  • and WOW that WAS EMOTIONAL,,,,,,but seriously as hoseok’s significant other you have to give him all this love because he deserves it. buckets and buckets of love. but yes on to the cute parts of boyfriend!hoseok
  • he loves giving you compliments and cheesy-gooey-lovely nicknames,,,,,,,,,,he loves it so much every damn week your name in his phone changes to something cute and sugary followed by every heart emoji avilable
  • and jungkook was like “hoseok, i want to call you s/o what’s their name in your phone?” and when hoseok said it out loud jungkook was like u know what nvm im not calling some named honey bunny all that is my heart -______-
  • you once played a trick and hoseok was like whats my name in your phone!!!! and you were like oh it’s just hoseok and he got all pouty and sulked and asked hoW could you do that to him
  • but you were like baby im joking it’s ‘prince of my heart, i love you 2 the moon and back’
  • hoseok had literally lighted up like a christmas tree and pulled you into his lap to give you eskimo kisses and tickle your sides for tricking him but he was smiling the whole time,,,,,,,,
  • he really likes it when you tell him about your day and you get to something frustrating and you get all cutely animated and he’s just grinning and you’re like!!!!!!!! it’s not funny
  • and hoseok is like no no it’s not,,,,,,you’re just so adorable i can’t help myself
  • and you hit him playfully but he catches your hand and kisses it you’re like rolling your eyes,,,,,,but it’s so sweet
  • but seriously hoseok loves when you’re open and truthful with him,,,,,,,communication is everything to him
  • to the point that you two can be sitting in silence, you’re in between his legs with your head on his chest texting on your phone 
  • and he’ll just lean to whisper in your ear that right now, he loves you so much like it’s random and whatever but he just has the need to say it
  • knows you like a specific kind of cologne on him so he carries it with him everywhere,,,,,,even if he’s far away from you he has it with him
  • knows your takeout order by heart
  • you know his by hear too
  • yoongi: this is the epitome of love, knowing that your s/o wants menu number 4 on sundays and menu number 2 on mondays.
  • hoseok and u: can’t tell if yoongi is being sarcastic but thanks yoongi
  • hoseok tells  you about how he really just wants to make his mom proud so sometimes when he’s practicing you take videos and send them to her
  • and hoseok finds out and is like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why!!!!!!!! and you’re like “because your mom said she likes seeing you dance!!!!!”
  • and hoseok is like,,,,,,,,,heart shattering because you’re so cute,,,,,how are you so damn cute
  • takes pics of pretty things he sees on tour and is like “reminds me of you!” 
  • loves to buy things for you,,,,,,like you’ll be like don’t i don’t need anything!!! but he has an impulse to spoil you,,,,,that’s just how he is hehe
  • looks super hot coming back from practice,,,you know wet hair from sweating and low hanging tank top and he knows you’re into it so he’ll send you selfies in the mirror and you’re like !!!!! don’t tease me jung hoseok
  • and he’s just like,,,,,,wish you were here ;)))
  • but intimacy with hoseok is really just again about trust and being there for one and other and hoseok has the capability to be so gentle and loving when you need him to make you feel good because the day has been shitty and whatnot
  • but hoseok can also snap,,,,,and become this sensual,,,pleasure above all person with kisses that burn into your skin and a grip so hard and so needing that it makes your head spin
  • but like anything, he puts you first and sometimes you seriously have to flip him over and be like “ok, my turn - no no no hoseok stay down”
  • likes it when you wear his accessories more than his clothing (because you’re better without the clothing cough i didn’t say that) but he thinks it’s cute when you wear like a bracelet of his or that time you stole the keychain off his bag
  • and it was the keychain of the hiphop monster version of jin and you were like hehe so cute but hoseok was like ,,,,,here take this one instead
  • and traded that jin version for his and you were like you’re right,,,i should carry you my boyfriend around with me instead
  • hoseok,,,,blushing,,,,,,,,,,but also smiling because being called your boyfriend makes him so happy
  • concentrates when watching dance videos and his mouth is always open, tongue peeking out and you’re like dammit hoseok and he’s like huh
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,what no i didn’t say anything and he’s still eyes glued to the screen like uhuh and you’re just like seriously what how is he so hot he’s literally not doing anything and im turned on????
  • hoseok’s magic wooo
  • yoongi is especially fond of you for taking care of hoseok and he won’t admit it but you guys are his favorite couple and when you get all pda and soft if jungkook opens his mouth yoongi shoves some candy into it and he’s like “let hoseok have this - do you understand me?”
  • you lay side by side with him when he’s tired and falling half asleep
  • and he’s at this stage where he’s just mumbling his answer and you’re just ever so quietly like hoseok,,,,,,,,are you made of stars,,,,,how can you be so bright
  • and he mumbles and cuddles his head into your neck
  • and you hold him and you think he didn’t hear you but the next morning hoseok hums to himself about him?? made of stars??? if that’s true,,,,,,you’re made of gold
  • and you overhear him and blush like i,,,,,,,im gonna go take a shower
  • hoseok: ok ill come with you!!!!
  • hoseok scribbles lyric ideas down on random scraps of paper that he can forget about but you collect them and tape them up in your room and when hoseok sees he’s like ???? you keep them
  • and you’re like shrugging and telling him you love reading what he writs
  • and hoseok touches the paper and looks at you and you’re just standing there smiling and hoseok is like “i,,,,,i love you so much you know that right?”
  • you: yes you’ve said like the 53rd time today. not that im complaining i love hearing it!
  • hoseok the type to buy you three bouquets of flowers so big that he can’t see in front of him when he’s walking down the street tbh,,,,,,,,,,
  • also last but not least,,,when hoseok wears glasses and is reading or at the cafe with you it literally takes all your might not to kiss him so hard because he looks SOOO CUTE 
  • boyfriend hoseok ,,,,,,is everything ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Some thoughts on Shou

-Shou has many many scars on him all from his father. he sometimes just sits shirtless in front of a mirror and traces over them remembering what happened. Reminding himself that this is not normal. That this is not okay.


-Shou once saw Ritsu’s father pat his head and Shou almost blasted him across the room before he realizes that it was actually an affectionate gesture.


-Shou has a very nervous habit of biting on his sleeves. The ends of his jacket are frayed and wet and disgusting and he doesn’t remember the last time he washed it but he doesn’t want to lose it. So he never does.

-Shou has received affection once, just once, from his father after his mother left. He was eight and he was in horrible burning pain and his father picked him up and carried him to the med room and wrapped up his injuries. It never happened again and Shou is almost sure that he dreamed it…but it’s also a massive reason he sometimes doubts the abuse.

-Ritsu cries very easily. Shou laughs instead of crying. Ritsu wants to punch Shou in the face for making fun of his crying but then gets a massive pit of dread in his stomach when he sees Shou laughing off a stab wound or a broken bone.

-One time Shou did cry in front of Ritsu though…it started off as laughter that then turned hysterical and caused him to collapse on the ground shaking as he started sobbing between laughs and he couldn’t breathe and he wanted to die because he broke down and…He kept saying that he was sorry for crying….Ritsu held him tight and tried to be comforting but all he could really do in his state of shock was to rock him and try his best to soothe him

-One time Reign tried to pat Shou on the Shoulder and Shou nearly threw him into a wall. Mob stopped him but Shou was so embarrassed he didn’t come back for a month

-Shou uses memes as a way to cover for his emotional shortcomings and trauma

- Shou…knows how to dance…he learned…as part of his training???

-Shou is simultaneously afraid of touch and completely touch deprived so it ends up in this odd situation of “i can touch you but for the love of god please don’t touch me.”

-Shou batterdick cucumber memes his father’s name. He has over one hundred and twenty seven ways of saying ‘touch your toes sucky key.’

-Shou attempted to live with his mother….but….she kept trying to do things he wasn’t okay with…but by that i mean…giving him rules and curfews and things Shou has never done in his life and he gets angry and he calls bullshit and he runs away from home to hide for a few days and she panics because she lost her baby again but Shou….is not okay…with being controlled…

-Shows mom still doesn’t like seeing his power and everytime he uses it she makes a small uncomfortable expression and Shou begins to dislike them a little bit more…

-Shous hamsters are very well treated but at the same time…Shou is terrified to interact with them because he might hurt them

-Shou has a fully documented file on every injury, every scar, and every trauma his father has given him…he doesn’t really know what to do with it…

-Shou just wants to hug somebody for hours on end. To feel another person’s warmth encompassing him and keeping him safe…but he feels childish whenever he does because….who would even want to hug him??? he Should just get over it??? grow up???

-One time his mother dropped a pan and Shou nearly started crying….he hates…loud noises….he doesn’t mind if they are natural like thunder…but…the sound of a pan banging against a floor…a door slamming…hands slamming on the table….it terrifies him.

-Shou hugs his pillow when he sleeps.

-Shou used to have a stuffed animal collection but his father destroyed them..calling them childish.

-Shou has a shit ton of money coming his way because of his father but….he doesn’t really want it….it feels dirty and he doesn’t want any help…from anyone

-Shou has exactly 0 social skills. He never learned how tf to deal with people. He just tried to make himself seem as big as possible and hopes things will go his way.


-Shou uses comics, manga, books and tv shows as a way of escapism. He surrounds himself in the stories so much that he used to call his father DR. Robotnick. (Sonic sat am ref lol.)

-Shou hates taking showers or baths. He feels entirely too vulnerable and sometimes he’ll push it off for a solid month before taking one.

-Shou has never had a good night’s sleep. Ever.

-Shou has freckles. hundreds of freckles. they’re all from his mom

-Shou wants to go to school with Ritsu but at the same time he’s terrified to try.

-He’s not good with people. his schooling did not keep up 100% with academics, he hates being told what to do ect ect…

-One time he hung around reigen and did a dumb doodle on a sticky note and reigen praised it and said it looked really good and Shou started crying….he doesn’t know why. maybe it’s because he’s never been praised on his art before..

-Shou sometimes breaks into Reigen’s office to sleep on his couch. Reigen is mildly concerned but lets him do it anyway

-Shou is that person who always, c o n s t a n t l y, has to show somebody up. You ran a mile?? I ran two!! You’re feeling depressed?? well my father ran a cult and tried to take over the world and constantly abused me!! He does not mean to be mean by it…but he’s so used to his thoughts and feelings being completely invalidated that…he h a s to…you know???

-Shous relationship with his mother….hmm….It’s kinda rocky. Like they love each other but they don’t really know much about each other anymore and she doesn’t really like his powers but they still do try and they really do care for each other but there will always be this……unspoken…gap….between them.

Why he never talks about his father…why she never wants to hear.

they hug and kiss and would do anything for each other…but at the same time…something unspeakable happened here and neither of them are willing to acknowledge it

[i say kiss because familiar kisses are a thing but i’m not 100% sure they happen out of the south so like;;]

-anyway if Teru and Shou ever start talking about their feelings they would get…so frustrated with each other. constantly trying to say who had the shittier experience because i feel like this shouuppance [pardon the pun] is a core part of their characters and honestly it would reach a point where they would fucking f i g h t.

But in the end it turns out being good for them because they had the chance to let off some of the steam that they’ve been building up and lets them relax a bit and they eventually realize they won’t win against each other. They’re both too stubborn. and instead they start comparing stories and laughing their ass off about how fucked up they are.

ex:

Shou: And then he left me locked in that room for three days without any food lol!!!

Teru: Oh god, do i feel that!! I don’t have anybody to take care of me so It’s just constant isolation and if I get sick, well then! I’m not eating till I recover!

-

[Anyway this post is 1000ish words long so i’ll cut it here lol, I have more Shou hcs that I’ll probably upload later~~ Thanks for reading!]

4x01 Recap - Echoes (The 100)

Alright folks, it’s time. My show has returned, and I am throwing myself back on this ride with wild abandon.

I’m adopting my Discussapalooza style from here on out. Which is to say that this recap is going to be very long. If there are any sections that you’d like me to pull out and post seperately, let me know. Otherwise, you have been warned - I like to go in depth.

We ready? LET’S GO.

Keep reading

hurricanelistmaker  asked:

Would being an Salesman be Stanley's dream job (equivalent to Ford studying the paranormal and weirdness) if Stan didn't become fixated on proving to Filbrick that he could make millions of dollars?

Sorry to take so long to get to this!  It’s a really interesting question!

To be honest, though – I’m going to say, no, being a salesman isn’t truly Stanley’s dream job.  Rather, I think it’s a job he’s actually very *good* at; but I don’t think it’s the job he finds the most fulfilling, or that he ultimately would have been happiest doing.

(Look up that comics story and insert here.)

The thing is, I think that Stanley is really a very good salesman. After all, even as a young man, he was good at *selling* his terrible products, like the Sham-Total, and the Rip-Off bandages.  People *bought* them.  The problem was that they were fraudulent products.  That’s what sunk his business ventures, not his ability to sell.  

(The outlier seems to have been the Stan-vac, which is implied to have failed because of the slogan.  One wonders if that was one of Stan’s earlier ventures, and he learned better later?  Or whether it was a fluke of another kind, because “It’s a total sham!” is no better a slogan for a product than “It sucks more than anything!”, but the Sham-Total did sell to a lot of people, while the vacuum cleaners didn’t.)

But I tend to think that his salesman abilities were really just an outgrowth of his overall talent for showmanship and performance.  And that his being a salesman was a means to an end – he was trying to make a lot of money, quickly; and that goes back to Filbrick’s demands.

(As an aside, however… I do think that Stan wanted money *also* because… he wanted money.  After all, prior to getting kicked out, his “dream-job” was to go *treasure-hunting* with his brother on the Stan o’ War.  Stan *wanted* treasure, even before Filbrick demanded that he earn millions.  There could be a lot of reasons for this.  Stan also clearly wanted to sail away on the Stan o’ War in order to escape Glass Shard Beach.  And it’s pretty clear that the Pines family lived in fairly poor circumstances.  He might have fixated on money just because to him, it represented stability and freedom.)

I tend to think that Stanley’s dream-job would actually have been something that would combine things like his creativity, his talent for working with his hands, his talent for performance, and his love of adventure.  And really, it’s just a shame that he was never encouraged in a direction that might have led him to consider jobs of that kind.

For example – and I think I’m really not the first person to suggest this – Stan would have done great in the special-effects industry in Hollywood, especially pre-CGI, when effects were practical.  I’m going back here to the monster-movie posters he had on the wall as a kid, but can’t you imagine him loving making monster costumes or puppets or animatronics for movies?  And having a great time traveling around to all kinds of places where movies were being filmed?  Think of Stan being somebody like Adam Savage on Mythbusters…

(Oh. My God.  *stares into the distance*  GF Mythbusters AU with Stan and Ford….)

The truth is though, in a way, Stan *did* wind up in what I think would have been his “dream-job” – running the Mystery Shack.  It’s a job that combined many of his talents, both as a performer (being Mr. Mystery), and as a creator (making all of the exhibits and coming up with stories to tell), and as a salesman (who kept the place in the public eye as a popular tourist attraction for 30 years).

On the one hand, you could say that the sort-of tragedy is that he didn’t fall into that line of work earlier, somehow.  That he got kicked out, and then spent 10+ years struggling for survival, turning to bad ideas and having all kinds of bad experiences, before he finally got to do something that so suited his many talents – and that even then, he couldn’t fully “enjoy” running the Mystery Shack, because at the back of his mind was always the guilt of having lost Ford and the driving need to get his brother back somehow.  (I also wonder to what extent his ability to purely enjoy running the Shack was dampened by his harsh experiences during his decade of homelessness and criminality and danger.)  

On the other hand, he really *did* get to do something he enjoyed a lot, for most of his adult life.  And it’s clear from some things we saw that despite the many pressures he felt, he really did enjoy running the Shack, and he enjoyed being good at it.

(Really, both Stan and Ford got to pursue their “dream jobs”.  It’s just that for most of their lives, the trade-off was uncertainty and danger.    But, Ford got to explore the multiverse, which you’ve got to admit has to have been what he dreamed of doing ever since being a little kid doodling sci-fi stuff in his notebook.  And Stan got to perform and be creative and also make a lot of money, while additionally having the pleasure of feeling like he was putting one over on his customers.  It’s just that their circumstances wouldn’t allow either of them to fully enjoy those things.)

Hi! Can I please request ndrv3 boys with two-faced s/o? Like Ouma for example, one half of him is cute and hyperactive, while the other half is quite disturbing and manipulate.

Sure thing!

 Korekiyo Shinguuji

  • At first, he thought that you were an average, ditsy, hyperactive person.
  • Not average as in normal, of course, but when personality cliches come into place, you matched that one perfectly.
  • Except, once you weren’t your usual happy self.
  • You were dark, brooding and condescending.
  • This is how he learnt of your true nature.
  • Of course, he had to question whether being around a person like that was beneficial or not but eventually he decided it wasn’t worth leaving you for something you can’t fix.
  • Not that it needed fixing, despite how unsettling it was.
  • If you ever tried to manipulate him in any way, he wouldn’t let himself fall prey to that.
  • He’d sit you down and be affectionate with you, which would usually distract you from whatever thoughts you had at the time.
  • It would bring you back to being your usual self.
  • However, he can’t completely disregard your other half’s existence.

Rantarou Amami

  • He finds you adorable.
  • The way you’re so cute and often childish.
  • He gets along with you rather well, actually!
  • Except one day, you seem to just snap.
  • What caused it? Don’t even ask him.
  • Only God knows.
  • You start rambling incoherently about stuff only YOU seem to understand.
  • Honestly, it scares him.
  • He doesn’t know how his tiny, cute, innocent S/O could suddenly turn out like this.
  • He’s REALLY scared, now.
  • He’s trying to tell you how much he doesn’t like it but he doesn’t know how to word it.
  • He doesn’t want to hurt you.

Kokichi Ouma

  • At first, he just thought you were cute and all!
  • So of course, he couldn’t really reveal his other half to you either.
  • But when you revealed yours first, he was shocked.
  • He doesn’t have to feel pressured anymore.
  • So, a week later, he snaps too.
  • You’re astonished, you didn’t think you’d find a partner exactly like you!
  • You two get along, however, it’d be a lie to say you don’t bring each other down.

Shuuichi Saihara

  • He found you to be easy to care for, considering you were cute and hyper!
  • I mean, hyperactivity is very hard to run around for but he felt like he had you all figured out!
  • Except, he found you once sitting in the bathroom laughing maniacally.
  • It scared the everloving shit out of him.
  • He rushed into the room and asked if you were okay.
  • “Oh dear~! My beloved Saihara caught me in this state… I’m so embarrassed!”
  • You hide your face in your hands but then look up at him and grin widely.
  • He backs up to the wall and begs for you not to hurt him.
  • The pain in your eyes become evident.
  • “I’m not… gonna hurt you.”
  • Then you start crying. Not fake tears, real tears.
  • He feels bad and he holds you.
  • You both fall asleep like that.
  • Well, he knows how to deal with your outbursts now.

Kaito Momota

  • He loves you so much.
  • He personally likes dating people the opposite to him and in some aspects, you’re just that!
  • He’s hyperactive, sure but not the way you are!
  • He only is if he’s riled up or excited!
  • You just seem to be hyper all the time.
  • For no reason.
  • How do you do that-
  • Except when you tell him that you’re not all as seems and to watch out for it, he doesn’t know what to expect.
  • One day during a date, you tell him:
  • “Isn’t it funny how trusting these people are? They don’t know… somebody right next to them could be dangerous, a SERIAL KILLER, even! I could literally be one and nobody would know!”
  • He’s scared as fuck.
  • How-
  • How do you do that-
  • He grabs you firmly by the shoulders and tells you to snap the hell out of it.
  • How firm he was unnerved you a bit, so you stop.
  • For now.

Kiibo

  • You tell him straight away that you’re two-faced.
  • You can’t think of hurting him or how scared he’s gonna be.
  • In fact, you tell him before you even start dating.
  • The picture of him being hurt by you.
  • It doesn’t compute.
  • With you, or him.
  • So when it first happens, he’s not as surprised as he should be.
  • He’s taken the time to research how to deal with this!
  • It works, once he’s applied multiple methods.
  • Affection, kind words and patience seem to be the miracle workers.
  • Or maybe, you just want attention.
  • But he doesn’t know that and he doesn’t really need to.

Gonta Gokuhara

  • If you happened to snap, he’d just cry.
  • He would be SO overwhelmed that he wouldn’t know how to deal with it.
  • He isn’t very good when it comes to change since most of his life has revolved around routine and little to no change at all.
  • You feel bad, so you try and keep yourself composed for his sake.
  • Whenever it does happen, the same reaction comes around every time.
  • In more extreme cases, he clings to you and he won’t let go.
  • “Gonta you’re crushing me-”
  • “I know but I want you to stop! So this is the only way!”
  • Basically, he has no clue what he’s doing.
  • He’s trying.

 

Ryouma Hoshi

  • He’s convinced he’s done something to make you this way.
  • He kind of just lets it slide, whenever it happens though.
  • He doesn’t raise any concerns, he just waits for it to be over.
  • He doesn’t like it but he doesn’t hate it either.
  • It’s kind of a thing he’s grown to be used to.
  • It did come as a surprise the first time, though.
natasha, pierre & the great comet of 1812 sentence starters (act 1)

(twigger warning: alcohol and domestic abuse mentions)


PROLOGUE

  • “There’s a war going on out there somewhere…”
  • “_______ isn’t here.”
  • “You’re gonna have to study up a little bit…”
  • “Everyone’s got NINE different names!”
  • “_______ is young.”
  • “_______ is good.”
  • “_______ is old school.”
  • “_______ is HOT.”
  • “He/She/They spends his/she/their money on women and wine…”
  • “_______ is a slut.”
  • “_______ is fierce, but not too important.”
  • “The war can’t touch us here!”
  • “_______ is crazy!”
  • “_______ is plain.”
  • “_______’s family… totally messed up.”
  • “_______’s just for fun.”
  • “What about _______?”


PIERRE

  • “It’s dawned on me suddenly, and for no obvious reason, that I can’t go on living as I am.”
  • “I used to be better.”
  • “His/Her/Their purse is always empty because it’s open to all.”
  • “I drink too much…”
  • “Right now, my friend fights and bleeds.”
  • “I never thought I’d end up like this!”
  • “The women/men/people all pity me cause’ I’m married but not in love.”
  • “He/She/They is charming, he/she/they have no sex.”
  • “There’s a ringing in my head…”
  • “There’s a sickness in the world.”
  • “I’ll sort it out later.”
  • “How many men before me, good men believing in goodness and truth, entered that door with all their teeth and hair and left it toothless and bald?”
  • “You empty and stupid contented fellows!”
  • “I’m different from you! I still want to do something!”
  • “Do you struggle too?”
  • “I pity you, I pity me, I pity you.”


MOSCOW

  • “I’ll take you where you must go.”
  • “What are you dawdling for?”
  • “Bring some rum for the tea!”
  • “______, you’ve grown plumper and prettier!”
  • “My cheeks are glowing from the cold!”
  • “How beautiful you looked in the snow!”
  • “I can’t bare this waiting!”
  • “He/She/They loves me only.”
  • “Dresses, dresses! We’ll buy what we can afford!”
  • “How wonderful to have you here instead of these gossips and crybabies.”
  • “You’ve hooked a fine fellow!”
  • “The old fellow’s crotchety!”


THE PRIVATE AND INTIMATE LIFE OF THE HOUSE

  • “I’ve aged so much.”
  • “I forget things…”
  • “I live in the past.”
  • “People enjoy me though.”
  • “Such a majestic and agreeable spectacle.”
  • “Bring me my slippers!”
  • “Bring me my wine!”
  • “I have no friends!”
  • “Stupid girl/boy, all my friends are dead!”
  • “I can hurt you!”
  • “I can hurt you but I never ever would.”
  • “He/She/They could beat me or treat me like a dog, make me fetch wood or water and that’s just how it is.”
  • “I know they’ll like me, everyone has always liked me!”
  • “Is this all I make of my life?”
  • “Maybe I’ll marry someone myself…”
  • “Oh, that offends you, does it?”
  • “Where are my glasses?!”
  • “He forgets things…”
  • “And I dare to judge him, I disgust myself.”
  • “I disgust myself…”



NATASHA AND BOLKONSKYS

  • “O-Oh… Oh, hello…. Won’t you come in?”
  • “Too fashionably dressed.”
  • “I DO NOT WISH TO SEE HER.”
  • “I know at any moment he’ll indulge in some freak!”
  • “I am not afraid anyone.”
  • “Too plain and affected.”
  • “Not much to look at…”
  • “What have I said?”
  • “What have I done?”
  • “Oh, they were so awful…”
  • “It all hurts so terribly.”


NO ONE ELSE

  • “First time I heard your voice, moonlight burst into the room.”
  • “You are so good for me.”
  • “I’ll never be this happy again.”
  • “You and I, and no one else.”
  • “We’ve done this all before, we were angels once. Don’t you remember?”
  • “How can anyone sleep? There was never such a night before!”
  • “I feel like putting my arms around my knees and squeezing tight as possible and flying away.”


THE OPERA

  • “Stop moving and moaning, we’ll miss the curtain!”
  • “Welcome, to the opera.”
  • “________, smooth your gown/shirt.”
  • “I’ve never felt like this before.”
  • “Look, there’s _______, home from the war at last.”
  • “He’s/She’s/They’ve changed, dear me!”
  • “What a headdress she/he/they has on!”
  • “They’re all looking at me, they’re all talking about me!”
  • “Now all the ladies/men/everyone are mad about him/her/them.”
  • “No, I am enjoying at home this evening.”
  • “Oh, those pearls!”
  • “So beautiful! What a charming young girl/man/person!”
  • “Have you been here long?”
  • “He/She/They never used to forget us.”
  • “There’s a woman/man/person one should stay far away from.”
  • “Oh, I’d tickle you all if I could.”
  • “He/She/They moved with a swagger. Which would have looked ridiculous, had he/she/they not been so good-looking.”
  • “Mais charmante.”
  • “How handsome he/she/they is!”
  • “He/She/They is talking about me.”
  • “Every time I look at him/her/them, he’s/she’s/they’re looking at me!”
  • “Bravo, bravo!”


NATASHA AND ANATOLE

  • “I have longed wished to have this happiness.”
  • “How do you like the performance?”
  • “He’s/She’s/They’re as handsome up close as at a distance.”
  • “You ought to come, please, come!”
  • “I know for certain he’s/she’s/they’re taken by me.”
  • “I fear he/she/they may seize me from behind and kiss me on the neck!”
  • “You will be the prettiest there.”
  • “Do come, give me this flower as a pledge.”
  • “It’s alright, _______, I’m here.”
  • “I-I cannot speak.”
  • “There’s nothing between us.”


THE DUEL

  • “I have known her/him/them since she/he/they was a child… I have long carried affection for her/him/them.”
  • “Yes, charming.”
  • “Drink with me, my love! For there’s fire in the sky and ice on the ground!”
  • “Vodka and wine are dangerous for me.”
  • “Keep drinking, old man/woman.”
  • “She’s/He’s/They’re first rate but nothing but trouble.”
  • “It doesn’t matter, I don’t give a damn.”
  • “Just as a duck is made to swim in water, God has made me as I am.”
  • “All I care for is deity and women.”
  • “God! To think I married a man/woman/person like you!”
  • “Don’t speak to me, wife/husband/spouse.”
  • “There’s something inside me. Something terrible and monstrous.”
  • “Here’s to the health of married women/men/people and their lovers!”
  • “How dare you touch her/him/them?!”
  • “You can’t love her/him/them!”
  • “I challenge you!”
  • “Oh, a duel? Yes, this is what I like~.”
  • “He/She/They will kill you, stupid husband/wife/spouse!”
  • “So, I shall be killed! What is it to you?!”
  • “________, my guns.”
  • “Oh, this is horribly stupid!”
  • “________, hold your fire! Not yet!”
  • “No! Shot by a fool!”
  • “Oh, my mother. My angel… My adored angel mother!”
  • “You are a fool.”
  • “Well, you certainly bring out the beast in them!”
  • “Come on, let’s get you home.”
  • “Be happy, we live to love another day.”


DUST AND ASHES

  • “Is this how I die?”
  • “How did I live?”
  • “I taste every wasted minute… Every time I turned away from the things might have healed me.”
  • “Was I kind enough…? Was I GOOD enough…?”
  • “Oh, why have I been sleeping?”
  • “They say we are asleep till we fall in love, we are children of dust and ashes.”
  • “When we fall in love, we wake up.”
  • “We are god and angels weep.”
  • “All of my life, I spent searching the words of poets, saints, prophets and kings! And now, at the end, all I know that I’ve learned is that all that I know: Is I don’t know a thing!”
  • “All the things I could have been! But I never had the nerve!”
  • “Life and love? I don’t deserve it.”
  • “All right, I’ve had my time.”
  • “Bury me in burgundy, I just don’t care.”
  • “Such a storm of feelings inside of me!”
  • “Why am I screaming…? Why am I shaking?”
  • “Oh, God. Was there something I missed?”
  • “Was happiness within me the whole time?”
  • “Don’t let me die while I’m like this!”


SUNDAY MORNING

  • “I see my face.”
  • “Don’t be silly!”
  • “They say you can see your future in the long row of candles in the depths of the mirror.”
  • “I see a shape in the darkness!”
  • “I’m so frightened!”
  • “TIME FOR CHURCH!!!”
  • “I suffer now more than before…”
  • “The rudeness of that man/woman/person! I’ll straighten him out!”
  • “I’ll shut myself in my room and try on new dresses/clothes.”


CHARMING

  • “Oh, my enchantress… Oh, you beautiful thing!”
  • “These dresses suit you!”
  • “Anything suits you, my charmer.”
  • “You are such a lovely thing, where have you been?”
  • “It’s such a shame to bury pearls in the country…”
  • “If you have a dress/suit you must wear it out!”
  • “How can you live in _______ and no go no where?”
  • “So, you love somebody! That’s no reason to shut yourself in!”
  • “My brother/sister/sibling/friend dined with me yesterday but he/she/they didn’t eat a thing because he/she/they was thinking about you.”
  • “A woman/man/person with a dress/suit is a frightening powerful thing!”
  • “You are not a child when you’re draped in scarlet and lace.”
  • “Your fiance` would want you to have fun rather than be bored today!”
  • “My brother/sister/sibling/friend is quite madly in love with you, my dear.”
  • “It must be all right…”
  • “There’s a ball at my house tonight, you must come!”
  • “You must come!”
  • “How the thought of throwing them together amuses me!”


THE BALL

  • “How I adore little girls/boys, they lose their heads at once!”
  • “There is no barrier between us!”
  • “I don’t know good from bad…”
  • “I’m so frightened!”
  • “You are enchanting!”
  • “Don’t lower your eyes, I love you.”
  • “I am in love, dear, I am in love.”
  • “Don’t say such things, I love another!”
  • “Don’t speak of that when I tell you that I’m madly in love with you!”
  • “Is if my fault your enchanting?”
  • “I don’t understand anything tonight!”
  • “Is it possible I will never see you again?”
  • “I have nothing to say!”
  • “Tell me, what just happened…?”
  • “I-I’m trembling…”
  • “I love you… Of that there is no doubt.”
  • “How else could we have kissed?”
  • “I could not help loving you.”
  • “I will love you, _______.”
  • “I’ll do anything for you.”
I'm So Glad You Asked Me To Hang Out (Jared Kleinman x Reader)

Warnings: Angst, mention of Connor Murphy’s suicide, cursing 

A/N: I decided to write some angst to switch things up and oh man is it a long one. I’m sorry if it’s not that good, I’m not used to writing angst and it took me a good couple days to get it the way I wanted it. Thank you guys so much for the love on the other fics, it makes me want to continue writing! Requests are open so ask away! 

__________________________________________________ 

You were at Jared’s house working on an assignment for your math class. You were sitting in a chair on the deck in the backyard. Jared was sat across from you, typing away on his computer. You two weren’t really close friends or anything. You had just known each other from being in the same classes since kindergarten. He wasn’t someone that you would reveal your darkest secrets to, but you could always hold a conversation with him in social interactions. 

You both were partners for your math project, hence why you were at his house. His house was surprisingly really nice and neat. It had been far too quiet for far too long. One of you needed to say something, but it looks like Jared wasn’t going to initiate conversation any time soon. 

“So, pretty sad about what happened to Connor.” 

“Eh, I guess.” 

“You never liked him, did you?” 

“Not really. The dude’s a psychopath.” 

“I kinda feel bad for never really talking to him. If only somebody knew about how much he was hurting…” 

“I give it a few days before everyone completely forgets about him.” 

“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

You could agree on that. You never really understood why Jared didn’t have that many friends. Maybe because he spoke honestly about his opinion on certain subjects and it turns people off? Who knows? You respected how honest he was with himself and others.

With how the school year has been so far with Connor Murphy’s suicide, you decided that you should start being nicer to others and try to make more friends. It was your senior year and you didn’t have that many friends. You only had, as Alana Beck would call them, close acquaintances. Acquaintances that you can sit with at lunch, but can never really relate to. You also weren’t the most talkative person either. You never really knew how to join in on conversations without coming across as annoying. Maybe that’s why you have so much respect for Jared. He just doesn’t give a shit about what others think of him. 

“Hey, (Y/N), you okay?”

“Hm? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine. Was I staring?”

“You were totally zoned out there for a minute.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to weird you out.”

“You’re probably the farthest from weird as you can get.”

You smiled at his words and noticed he turned his gaze back to his computer screen.

“So, since when are you and Evan friends?”

“We’re family friends, not actual friends.”

“Well, I see you talking to him a lot at school, so I just assumed.”

“I think he might have a crush on me something cause he keeps talking to me.”  

You playfully rolled your eyes. That was another thing about Jared. Jokes and sarcasm are his everyday language. You had to admit, even though it can be annoying sometimes, he was pretty funny. 

“He was best friends with Connor, right?”

“Yeah, he’s taking it really well, to be honest.”

“Who would’ve thought that Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen were friends?” 

“It’s definitely an unlikely situation…” 

That was weird. His voice wavered a bit with that last sentence. Maybe you were just making it up in your head. Nevertheless, you were slowly building up the courage to ask him to hang out. I mean, there’s no harm in asking someone that, right?

“Um, are you doing anything Friday night?”

Jared looked at you and raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, no. Why?”

He seemed a bit worried for whatever reason. Then you understood when he said,

“Oh god. You’re not about to ask me out, are you?”

“What!? No! Nothing like that! I just wanted to hang out. A-As like buddies, you know? It just really hit me hard that you and I have known Connor for a long time, but never really said a word to him, at least, I didn’t and now he’s gone. I don’t really have any close friends, so I thought I’d start with you.”

He blinked and stared at you with wide eyes. You wanted the floor to swallow you up for saying what you said. You should’ve just kept your mouth shut. Dammit, this is what you get for having one small wave of confidence. This is the exact situation you were scared of. You got out of your chair and started to walk away. 

“You know what, nevermind. It was stupid of me to ask-”

He stood up and faced you before you could exit through the wooden gate. 

“Uh, we can hang out. I-If you want. I don’t really have any other plans anyways.”

Your hand stopped on the latch and you slowly turned around and faced him. You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and looked to the ground.

“Oh… okay. Cool. I’ll come over around 7. Sound good?”

“Yeah. 7 is perfect. Here’s my number if you ever wanna text and like send me memes or something.”

You giggled at how the over-confident Jared Kleinman can be just as awkward as you were. You gave him your phone so he could put in his number. You smiled at the photo he had already given himself for his contact. He had taken an intentionally bad photo of himself trying to make the ugliest face possible. You giggled at it as you walked out the gate and got into your car. __________________________________________________ 

It was Friday afternoon and you were shoving books into your locker when you felt a presence behind you. You closed the locker and was startled by Jared. He chuckled. 

“So, did you manage to get that assignment done for biology?”

“No, not yet. This math project is kicking my ass at the moment.”

“I feel you. Why does Mrs. Johnson give us the most confusing and lengthy projects? I feel like just not doing it at all.” 

“But you’re my partner and you’re going to work on it since my grade is involved.” 

He laughed. Just then Evan Hansen rounded the corner and Jared stops. You turn back to him as Evan approached closer. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just don’t want him to see me is all. Remember, he has that weird crush on me?”

You rolled your eyes and walked up to Evan as Jared reluctantly follows. Evan awkwardly looked around when you approached him.

“Hey, Evan. I’m really sorry about Connor. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.” 

“Thanks, that’s, um, so kind of you. H-He really meant alot to… me.”

“I’m sure he did. If you ever want to talk or just hang out, you can always come to me. In fact, Jared and I are hanging out today, do you want to come with?”

He gave you and Jared a confused look.

“Uh, Jared, I thought you were hanging out with your camp friends this weekend?”

“I am. Just not today, o-obviously.” 

Jared crossed his arms over his chest and tried to act like his usual confident-self, but it was kind of failing.

“Oh, I-I see. I would hang out, but I don’t want to intrude. I’ll see you later, (Y/N).”

Evan awkwardly smiled at you. He locked eyes with Jared and hurriedly walked away. You watched him disappear into the hallway filled with kids. Okay that was really weird.

You walked alongside Jared and followed him to his car. You didn’t know if you should mention what Evan said to Jared. You didn’t want to pry, but you were curious.

“Camp friends?”

“Uh yeah. From earlier this summer.”

“If you were supposed to hang out with them, we don’t have t-”

“Can I tell you something?”

You nodded your head. Why was he being so weird? You’ve been talking and texting with him since monday night after leaving his house. He was being really suspicious.

“I lied about the camp friends thing.”

“Why? Are you embarrassed to hang out with me?” 

“No! That’s not it. I just…” 

“You just what? Why didn’t you want Evan to know?”

“Nevermind. Can we drop this? I’d rather just hang out with you and play some video games.”

“Fine. We can do that.”

What the hell was he going on about? There was definitely something going on that he needed to talk to somebody about, but is too scared to. You decided against pressing further on this issue. It really wasn’t any of your business anyways.

You arrived at his house and followed him to his basement where he had all of his consoles set up near the big flat screen tv. You were impressed with his huge selection of games on many different consoles. It’s totally like nerd heaven.

“Wow. This is really-”

“Lame, right?”

“I was actually going to say cool. You have a lot of games. I don’t really have that many games and such. I never was into them. I’m more of a bookworm.” 

“Well, I guess we’ll have to take your video game virginity then.”

You laughed. You sat down on the couch and he sat next to you. The night was filled with many laughs and many deaths considering you were terrible at all of the games you played. You still had fun, though. Even with Jared’s ruthless teasing. 

__________________________________________________ 

For weeks, you and Jared were getting closer and closer. You started coming out of your shell more and more with each day. You even became good friends with Alana and Evan. You even got the chance to talk to Connor’s sister, Zoe, on occasion.

Although, Jared was becoming weary that you were going to somehow figure out that Evan and Connor weren’t friends and that he is apart of the emails. lying to pretty much anyone who knows about the Connor Project. Jared remembered the look on your face when you found out about the Connor Project. You were so happy that he was involved in something so wonderful. He couldn’t help but feel guilty every time you asked him about the project. You were quickly becoming someone he genuinely enjoyed being around and he didn’t want to mess it up.

You broke him out of his thoughts when you placed your phone in front of him. He laughed at the meme on your phone and quickly sent it to him from your phone.

“I gotta say, your meme game has gotten stronger.”

“Yeah, all thanks to you. Here, look at this one! I found it last night, but wanted to show you in person!”

Okay, you can be adorable from time to time, but he would never let you know that. He never thought that he would ever become this close to you, but he’s really glad it happened. Just then, a girl came over. She had bright red hair with freckles all around her eyes. Her name was Kaitlyn and you had known her since middle school. She was definitely one of the more popular kids at your school. Way more popular than you or Jared. She was always nice to you and you respected her for it. She took the seat next to Jared.

“Hey, Jared, (Y/N).”

Jared greeted her and you did the same. You watched as Jared began talking to her about your guys’ math project and how he’s going to somehow incorporate conspiracy theories about the government in the presentation. You rolled your eyes. Kaitlyn laughed at his jokes. You eyed the two and watched them interact. She had her head on her hand and had a very lovey dovey look in her eyes when he spoke to her.

You didn’t know why, but you felt a pang of jealousy flow through you. Wait, why were you jealous? It’s not like you and Jared are dating. You guys are just friends and Kaitlyn is nice. You shook yourself from the thoughts and tried to ignore them. That wasn’t an easy thing to do.

__________________________________________________ 

You were at Jared’s house again. He was playing some violent game while you were reading from your new novel. You really enjoyed times like these where you both weren’t really saying anything, but were just comfortable being in the presence of each other. Jared hadn’t said anything for quite sometime and you gazed up at him from your book. You decided to make conversation.

“So, how long have you and Kaitlyn been friends?”

“That’s a bit out of the blue.”

“I’m just curious is all.”

“We’re not best friends or anything like that. She’s just nice and she talks to me. She also laughs at my jokes, so I keep her around to boost my confidence, you know.”

“Whatever you say, Kleinman.”

“What, are you jealous or something?”

“Why would I be jealous of her? If anything, I’m jealous of you. I wish pretty girls would laugh at my jokes.”

Jared chuckled at that and resumed his game. After a while, it started to get tense again. He had a sort of sad look on his face. What was he thinking about that made him so sad?

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“That definitely isn’t an ‘okay’ tone of voice.”

You hit the start button on his controller and took it from him.

“Come on, I was almost done with the level.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You hit pause and took the controller away.”

You rolled your eyes, yet again. There was the sarcasm.

“You know what I mean.”

He sighed and leaned against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. He ran a hand through his hair. He stared up at you and saw the worry in your face. He sat up.

“It’s nothing important, I promise.”

“Jared, I am here for you. Please tell me what’s going on, so I can help you.” 

You had rested your hand on his knee. Jared wasn’t used to this kind of affection before. He was just staring at your hand. Someone actually cared about him enough to try and help him with whatever was bothering him. This, of course, only made him feel even more guilty than before. His natural instinct to affection he doesn’t usually get from others is to hide and play it off. He sighed again.

“I can’t tell you.”

He removed your hand and turned his attention back to his game, resuming it. 

“Why not?” 

“I just can’t, okay? If I could tell you knowing that you’d still want to be friends with me, I would.”

“What the hell does that even mean? Why wouldn’t I be friends with you?” 

“Just forget it, please.”

Jared did this often. Something would bother him, you would try to get him to open up, then he tells you not to worry about it just when you think he’s going to tell you. You were beginning to get frustrated. Once again, maybe it wasn’t any of your business, but you guys were friends. He’s supposed to be able to tell you his problems, then you both work it out, right? You have opened up to him many times and he always listened. So, why couldn’t he do the same?

You went home that night thinking about ways you could get him to open up. You tried texting him about it because sometimes things are easier to say via text instead of face to face, right? He wouldn’t budge. This would require some serious researching. You entered many google searches to try and get ideas and options. You had found some articles that you thought would help. Guess what? They didn’t. Every idea they listed had no success with Jared. Whatever was bothering him, he really didn’t want you to know.

You were pacing your room when you got a text from Alana. Alana? That’s it! Alana was co-president of the Connor Murphy Project. Maybe she knows what’s up with Jared. After about half an hour of texting, you came to the conclusion that Jared was feeling left out. Evan didn’t really need his help with anything and he felt like Evan was just outcasting him. With this new information, you decided you weren’t going to talk about it, but you were going to act on it instead. You were going to get them to hang out, just the two of them. 

__________________________________________________ 

Two days later, you were at your locker again. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Evan and Jared talking. Perfect. You were just about to walk over there when you heard Evan say,

“You remember the Connor Project? You’re supposed to be working on this.” 

“Uh, remember you told me you didn’t need my help?”

“Well, I didn’t tell you to do nothing. Look, I know that you think it’s all a big joke, but it isn’t, it’s important.”

“For Connor.”

You slowly started to close your locker door to get a better look at the situation. 

“Yeah.”

“You know, when you really stop and think about it-Connor being dead, that’s pretty much the best thing that’s ever happened to you, isn’t it?”

“That’s a horrible thing to say.”

“No, think about it. If Connor hadn’t died, no one would even know who you are. I mean, people at school actually talk to you now. You’re almost popular which is just wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles.”

“I don’t care about any of that. Okay, I don’t care if people at school know who I am. All I wanted was to-”

“Help the Murphy’s. Yeah I know, you keep saying that.”

You couldn’t believe a word that was coming out of Jared’s mouth. Was this true? You almost forgot you were supposed to be incognito when Zoe walked up. You put the locker door in front of your face again, but still remained within earshot.

“Hey, Jared.”

Zoe kissed Evan. Jared shook his head as he was beginning to walk away. 

“Look at you, helping the Murphy’s.”

Your brow furrowed and watched Jared walk down the hall. You closed your locker as he turned the corner and was out of your sight. What the hell just happened? Now, you wanted some answers. You quickly caught up with him before he headed out the doors.

“Hey!”

“Hey.”

“So, anything new with the Connor Project?”

“Ah, no not really. I don’t really want to be apart of that anymore.”

“Oh.. Why?” 

 You both stopped in front of his car door. 

“(Y/N), I know you heard everything.”

“You do?”

“You’ve had the same locker since freshman year.”

“Well, can you blame me for eavesdropping? I had to find out that you were having problems with Evan through Alana because you won’t talk to me.” 

“What is with you and wanting to help me?”

“That’s what friends do, Jared. They help each other.”

“Well, I guess you didn’t stop for one second and think ‘Hmm, Jared isn’t telling me his problems, maybe I shouldn’t bother him about it anymore because he obviously doesn’t want my help’. And it’s also none of your business.”

Ouch. That hurt. Alot. He did have a point, though. None of it was your business, but why is he so against some affection from you? You just wanted to be close to him and make him feel better about whatever was bothering him.  

“Look, Jared, I know you’re upset because Evan is kind of leaving you out to dry, but-” 

“I’m not upset about that okay!? God, I couldn’t care less about him. I am just so sick of you trying to fix everything. I don’t need or want your help. I won’t ever need your help and I won’t ever want it. Is that clear enough for you? Just leave me alone and don’t talk to me, okay?”

He angrily got in his car and sped off. Okay, so maybe talking to him after that whole situation wasn’t the best idea. When you got home, you cried. Why did you have to pressure him so much? Why couldn’t you have just been chill and not pry so much? You finally understood why you never had close friends. Nobody wants to friends with someone who smothers them. You stared at your phone, knowing you can never text him again, not after what happened today. __________________________________________________ 

Nevertheless, he got his message through to you. He didn’t want anything to do with you and you respected his wish. You really hoped that maybe within a couple of days, he would apologize and take it all back, but he hasn’t. You see him in the halls and you watch him do everything in his power to just pretend like you don’t exist.

You’ve never felt so alone before.

All the people that you used to sit at lunch with now seemed like faceless blobs that you didn’t care about anymore. Whenever you got the chance, you would look over at Jared, hoping he’d look back and smile, but he never did.

The next day, you walked out of class only to see Jared talking to Kaitlyn. She was smiling and laughing with him. They were so close to each other and looked like they were a couple. Even though he told you he has no interest in her, you couldn’t deny that they look good together. He had his hand pressing against the wall by her head while she leaned against the wall. She began talking about something when you saw him gaze up and make eye contact with you. He looked down to the floor and you sadly walked away with your books pressed to your chest, trying to leave the building as fast as you possibly could. You’ve never felt so hurt before.

There was an empty void within you that you couldn’t seem to fill no matter what you did. You even bought some of the games that you and Jared used to play to see if that would be enough to suffice. It wasn’t. Nothing could replace him. Your heart began to swell. You just wish you could go back to being his friend and not pressured him so hard. __________________________________________________ 

You were walked out of the girl’s bathroom and turned the corner to see Alana pass by you with anger in her eyes. You looked back at her as she kept walking. You turned your head to see Jared and Evan talking again.

“This isn’t funny, Jared!”

“Oh, I think it’s hilarious. I think everyone would probably think it’s hilarious.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you should remember who your friends are.”

“You tell me the only reason you even talk to me is because of your car insurance.”

“So!?”

“So, maybe the only reason you talk to me Jared is because you don’t have any other friends.”

“I could tell everyone everything!”

“Well then go ahead! Do that! Then you can tell everyone you wrote emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself!”

“Fuck you, Evan! Asshole!”

You quickly hid in the bathroom when he began to turn in your direction. He stomped away, almost like a child would. You felt bad. You wanted to console him, but you remained still. Wait. Pretending to be a kid who killed himself? No, it wasn’t any of your business. You splashed some water on your face and took deep breaths before walking out.

You flopped down on your bed and opened your computer. You saw a new post from the Connor Project. It was Connor Murphy’s suicide note.


Dear Evan Hansen, 

Turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or year, because why would it be? 

I know, because there’s Zoe, who I don’t even know, and doesn’t know me. Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe nothing would be different at all. I wish everything was different. 

I wish I was apart of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean face it, would anyone notice if I just disappeared tomorrow? 

Sincerely, Your most best and dearest friend, Me 


You looked at the letter in shock. You scrolled down and saw the comments of hatred towards the Murphy’s. Most of them were calling his parents neglectful and heartless. Yes, there were some about Zoe, too. You quickly texted Alana. She, too, had seen the comments. You asked if she heard anything from Jared. She had explained that she hadn’t heard anything from him for awhile. 

Alana poured her heart to you about how Evan hurt her. You listened to her sobs and cries for an hour and a half. She eventually stopped crying and you got her to calm down a bit. You reminded her of her favorite character from her favorite book. She giggled when you talked about how her character tried to impress the entire school by creating a huge school site where everyone in the school could connect and talk, which eventually got hacked by some of the bullies.

You always liked making her feel better about herself. She hung up and you stared at your ceiling. All you could think about was Jared and if he was okay. Why do you care? He kicked you to the curb just like that, you shouldn’t even be thinking about him. But still, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he was hurting. I mean, Evan did say that Jared probably doesn’t have any other friends. 

Your thumb hovered over the message button by his name. You decided against texting him and went into your bathroom to start a shower. __________________________________________________ 

You sat down at your desk and pulled out a pencil. It was now November and the school year was blowing right by. It’s been at least two months since the last time you hung out with Jared. You looked at Instagram on your phone and smiled at a meme. You looked over to the empty desk where Jared sits and thought about how he would like it. You shut your phone off as soon as the bell rang and waited for your teacher, Mrs. Johnson, to start the class. You began to get anxious because today was presentation day in your math class and Jared wasn’t here.

Just then, Jared showed up and sat down at his desk. He looked like he hadn’t slept. His eyes had huge bags underneath them and they looked a little puffy too. Somebody pointed this out to him and he responded with, 

“Just allergies.”

That wasn’t a normal Jared Kleinman response. Something was off about him today. 

‘Stop thinking about him. Forget about him.’

You reminded yourself that you didn’t care about him anymore, even though you knew it was a lie. It didn’t hurt to pretend right?

Mrs. Johnson called your name to get up and present. Jared slowly got up and followed you. Maybe he’ll talk about his conspiracy theories.

He didn’t. In fact, he was actually presenting it like anybody else would. This was really shocking to you. The class ended and you followed him to his locker. You tapped his shoulder, but he didn’t look at you.

“You did a good job… uh, presenting today.”

He nodded and put his books away.

“So, h-how have you been? It’s been a while.”

“Fine.”

He walked away from you and disappeared into the sea of other kids. Something was definitely not right. You sighed as you walked to your next class. 

__________________________________________________ 

The rest of the week was just as bad. Jared looked like he hasn’t eaten or gotten a good night’s sleep and it was starting to get to you. He was practically falling asleep in almost every class. Normally, he’d be pestering the teacher or the other students around him. He even stopped talking to Kaitlyn. But he’s made his choices and you decided that you were going to stop trying. Why were you trying so hard for someone who wants nothing to do with you? The crying and sadness had stopped and you felt like you were slowly picking yourself back up piece by piece. 

You felt a hand grab your arm. You turned to find Kaitlyn. 

“Hey, (Y/N), what’s going on with Jared?”

“I don’t know, I’m not friends with him.”

“You aren’t? Maybe that’s why he’s been so… not himself lately. You should talk to him.“

“That’s not going to happen. He made it very clear he wants nothing to do with me.”

You opened your locker and turned your gaze away from her. She leaned against the lockers next to you and had a frown on her face.

“He liked you alot, you know. I’m sure whatever you guys were fighting about, he feels really bad about it. I mean, in case if you haven’t noticed, he’s not doing too hot.” 

“Well, that’s too bad for him. He told me he doesn’t want or need my help. I’m not wasting any more time on him.”

“But you want to. I can tell. I see the way you look at him in class. And just so know, when you look away from him with that sad face, he looks back at you with guilt in his eyes. I mean, does Jared seem like the type of guy to admit that he’s feeling down?“ 

You stopped fiddling with the things in your locker and sucked in a breath.

“Just go check up on him. Who knows, he might even open up to you.” 

“Yeah, I tried that. Doesn’t exactly work out for me. That’s kinda how he friend-dumped me in the first place.”

“(Y/N), I really think he’s hurting right now and could use a friend.” 

With that, she walked away. You were once again all alone. 

You saw a boy from the football team trip Evan. You scurried over to him to help him up as some people around you were laughing, including the boys. You called after them, 

“Hey assholes, watch where you’re going!” 

They practically ran down the hallway like children. You shook your head as you helped Evan up.

“Thank you.” 

“No problem. Don’t worry about those guys.” 

He was staring at everything, but you.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing, I just thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Didn’t Jared tell you?”

“Jared and I haven’t been friends for at least two months now.”

“Why?” 

“He started to get upset about you casting him out and I tried helping him. He just ended up telling me to fuck off. He seems like he’s in pretty bad shape these days and I want to help him, but…” 

“Oh my god, this is all my fault.”

“How? What did you do Evan?”

He looked down to the floor and didn’t respond.  

“Evan…”

“Just meet me after school and I’ll explain everything.”

You did just that. You waited out in front of the school for Evan to meet you. He was sitting on the bench next to a tree. You sat down next to him. He waited until the only that could hear him was you. Everything he had done, everything he and Jared had done just poured out of him like a waterfall. You couldn’t believe anything he was telling you. You were mad. 

“Please, (Y/N), if you’re going to be mad at someone… Be mad at me. None of this was Jared’s fault. He just wanted to help me and then it got way too out of control." 

You got up and paced in front of the bench. 

“I can’t believe you guys did that! How could you do that!?” 

“I know, it’s despicable and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t hate myself for it. But please don’t blame Jared. It’s my fault.”

You had just realized that this is what Jared was talking about. The whole “I can’t tell you” thing. This is why he couldn’t tell you what was wrong. You had to talk to him.

“Oh my god. Evan, I have to go. But, we aren’t done talking about this.”

You sprinted to your car and started the engine. You drove to Jared’s house and parked in front. You got out and built up the courage to knock on his front door. You knocked and stood there waiting for him to open the door. Only it wasn’t him who answered. It was his mother.

“Hi, (Y/N)! So good to see you again.” “Hi, Mrs. Kleinman. Is Jared home?” 

“Yes, but… he might be a little down.”

“That’s actually why I’m here.”

“He’s downstairs.”

“Thank you.”

You walked down the stairs to his basement. You didn’t hear anything. No music. No game sounds. Nothing except sniffling every now and then.

“Jared?”

Jared’s eyes widened and he quickly sat up, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat. His back was all you could see as he spoke to you.

“Uh, what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to check up on you. You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“I’m fine.”

“Cut the bullshit, Jared. Everyone knows you’re not.”

You walked over to him and sat on the table in front of him.

“Why do you care?”

“Evan told me everything. About Connor. About the emails. Everything.”

He finally made eye contact with you. He definitely had been crying for some time now. You couldn’t help, but feel sad when you looked at him. You grabbed his hand and rubbed it gently.

“I don’t care if you never want to talk to me again, but I want you to know that I am here and I am someone who will listen to your problems, no matter how big or small because you mean something to me. I know that Evan and I were your only friends at one point and that you weren’t used to someone showing affection towards you. And though you might still not open up to me and might not even want to be my friend after this, I know that you have no one right now and that’s why I came here.” 

Jared looked at your hands and then looked into your eyes. He pulled you into a hug and started sobbing into your shoulder. You cradled his head and just held him there. You tried really hard to not cry as well. You had never seen him so sad before. Never in your entire life had you seen Jared Kleinman so vulnerable, yet here he was, right into your shoulder, crying his eyes out.

After some time, Jared pulled away and took off his glasses. He wiped his eyes and laid back against the couch. Neither of you said a word for some time. You just watched Jared, searching for any sign of well… friendship maybe? A confession? Who knows what was going to happen. He sniffled and put his glasses back on.

“So, you don’t hate me?”

“I’ve never hated you, not even after what you said to me.”

“I thought if I pushed you away before you found out, it would’ve been easier. It just made things a lot harder.”

“All I wanted was for you to open up.”

“It’s just not that simple for me.”

“How so?”

“I’m Jared Kleinman. The over-confident asshole who makes dumb jokes about everything. I bother other kids and pester teachers because it amuses me. I’m not exactly known for showing affection or sadness. I never thought I’d ever have someone in my life who… makes me feel important like you and Evan do… did.”

“You are important, Jared. You’re important to me and I know you’re important to Evan. And just because you might be the jokester of our class, it doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have emotions.”

“Why do I feel like such a pussy?”

“You’re not a pussy. You’re human.”

“How do I fix all of this? Between you and me, and Evan?”

“I’m not saying it will work, but I think if you and Evan talked it out, you could rekindle it.” 

“He made it very clear that he didn’t want to be friends with me.”

“Sound like anybody you know?”

He gazed up at you and understood exactly what you were referencing. He scoffed.

“God, I really am just a big fuck up, aren’t I?”

“Stop it. You’re not a fuck up. You’re the insanely cool Jared Kleinman, remember?”

He chuckled a little bit and you smiled.

“I really am sorry (Y/N) for the way I treated you. I don’t ever want you to leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He grinned as he pulled you in for another hug. You smiled into his shoulder and laughed. You both pulled away.

“So, what do I do now?”

“I think you should apologize to the Murphy’s.”

“Are you out of your mind!? I’m sure they’d rather kill me than hear an apology!”

“Jared, listen to me. I’m sure they’d appreciate it more than you know.”

“Oh god. If I end up dead, it’s your fault.”

“I will gladly take the blame. Now, come on.” __________________________________________________ 

You arrived at the Murphy’s and knocked on their door. Jared was tapping his foot from all the anxiety. You grabbed his arm. 

“It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

He smiled at you then turned back to the door when Zoe opened it.

“Oh, hey guys. What are you doing here?” 

You looked at Jared and he sighed.

“I have something I need to say to you and your parents.”

“I don’t think they’re in the mood right now.” 

“Please!? It’s really important.”

“Fine.”

You and Jared followed Zoe into the foyer and saw her parents sitting on the couch. Zoe introduced you both. Cynthia recognized Jared.

“You helped Evan with the Connor Project.”

“Yeah, I did. I just wanted to say that Evan wasn’t the only one who was responsible for… you know. I pretended to be Connor. I was the one who created the fake email account and made the emails. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear this from, but I’m deeply and truly sorry. And I know I have no place to say this, but having known Evan for pretty much my entire life, I can tell you that he was only trying to help when you were grieving about Connor. He just wanted to bring you more happiness with the whole situation. He’s still just a kid trying to find his place in this unforgiving world. And I think it’s safe to assume that Connor probably felt the same way.”

The Murphy’s all looked to each other, but didn’t respond.

“Well, that’s what I came to say. See you at school, Zoe.”

You and Jared left the house and got back in his car. You turned to him.

“You didn’t have to say what you said. About Evan.”

“Yeah I did.”

He started the ignition and drove back to his house. It was getting rather late, but you didn’t want to leave. You wanted to spend more time with him, just to make sure if he was okay. And maybe start playing some video games.

And that’s exactly what happened. You started playing like old buddies again. Like nothing had changed. After about an hour, you finally decided that it was time to leave. Jared gave you one last hug before you got into your car. __________________________________________________

Today was the last day of school before winter break and you were beyond excited. Two whole weeks of doing absolutely nothing in hot chocolate and cuddle season. That was Jared’s winter alternative to Netflix and chill. You had just shut your locker when Evan walked up to you.

“Hey, (Y/N), I hope you have a good winter break.”

“You too. Hey, you’re not stuttering as much as you used to.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed. Thank you.”

You smiled at him. Evan smiled back then his eyes got wide. You turned to your left and saw Jared standing behind you. He walked forward and stuck out his hand towards Evan.

“Hey… are we cool?”

“Uh y-yeah. We’re cool.”

“So no hard feelings between us?”

“No. None. Wow, I didn’t expect this.”

“Oh god, please, don’t start crying.”

“I’m not going to cry.”

“Good because if you cry then I’m gonna start.”

“Aaand he’s back to normal.”

“Glad to be back. Hope you guys didn’t miss me too much.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled. Alana approached the three of you.

“I hope you all have a good winter break.”

Evan stopped her before she could leave.

“Alana, I-I’m sorry for everything. Truly, I really am. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I just needed you to know that I know what I did was wrong and unforgivable.”

Alana looked at you and let out a breath. She put her hand on Evan’s shoulder.

“I forgive you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m not one to hold grudges.” 

“T-thank you!”

She and Evan walked off as you and Jared walked to his car. You both had already decided that you were coming over for pretty much the entirety of the break.

You got to his house and went down to the basement like always. You sighed out of contentment,

“Well, everything is good and back to the way it was.”

“Yeah and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure it would’ve worked out anyways.”

“No, I mean it, (Y/N). If it wasn’t for you, nothing would be back to the way it was. Because of you, everyone is friends again, well, except for Zoe. You changed everything for all of us. I would’ve never apologized to the Murphy’s if it hadn’t been for you. And I definitely wouldn’t have let go of my grudge against Evan. (Y/N), everything good that happened, happened because of you. You’re amazing.”

You blushed at his words and felt a tear roll down your cheek. Jared saw it and immediately started hugging you.

“Did I say something wrong? Oh god, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Jared. I’m just really happy that you said that.”

He chuckled and pulled you in for a long hug. He looked at you in admiration and cupped your cheek. He gazed at your lips and licked his. You had your hands on his flannel and bunched it up. He pulled you in and kissed you. His lips were soft and felt so good against yours. You completely melted against him. He moved his hand from your cheek to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss.

You pulled away for air and stared at him with a big smile on your face. He rested his forehead against yours.

“I’m really glad you asked me to hang out three months ago, (Y/N).“

“Me too and I’m glad you’re my friend.”

“Really? After a kiss like that, I’m still only a friend? Come on, I thought I’d get at least a little something more than friend.”

You playfully hit his shoulder. And picked up a controller.

“Fine, you beat me in Smash and you will get to-”

“Smash?”

“Jared!!!” 

Eventually, he did get to smash. And yes, he referred back to this moment after it happened too.

And yes, you smacked his shoulder.

4

You Got Me Dreamin: A Blake & Gwen Playlist [Listen Here]

1. I Found You - Alabama Shakes: ‘Cause I remember them days I waited so patiently/For God to bring someone who’s gonna be good to me/And then He blessed my soul.  2. Blue Ain’t Your Color - Keith Urban: But I just don’t understand how another man could take your sun and turn it ice cold.  3. How It’s Done – Maren Morris: It ain’t fair what she’s been giving/Now I’m on a mission for what you’ve been missing/Let me show you how.  4. In Common – Alicia Keys: If you could love somebody like me you must be messed up too.  5. Wonderwall – Oasis: So maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me.  6. Say You Won’t Let Go – James Arthur: I wanna live with you/Even when we’re ghosts/‘Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most.  7. F*ck ‘Em Only We Know – Banks: So come on, let’s pretend that no one else is watching while we play/By your side, that’s where I have to be now/We won’t hide/I breathe your kisses just to stay alive/I see exactly what you’re thinking/I can feel you with my eyes.  8. Magic – Coldplay: Call it magic/Call it true/Call it magic/When I’m with you/And I just got broken/Broken into two/Still I call it magic/When I’m next to you.  9. You Are – Estelle feat. John Legend: Never thought that you would kiss my heart the way you did/All of the sadness in passing/Making me feel like I’m past it/But you reel me in in the sweetest way.  10. Who We Are – Tristan Prettyman: We don’t have to understand/Fate always has the upper hand/And Fate chose me and you.  11. Ten Leap Years – Dawn & Hawkes: I wanna hold you like this, in the crook of my arm/Always build you up, keep you safe from harm/I wanna show you how love is supposed to feel/I wanna hold you so you know that our love sure is real.  12. Die a Happy Man – Thomas Rhett: Baby that red dress brings me too my knees/Oh but that black dress makes it hard to breathe/You’re a saint, you’re a goddess, the cutest, the hottest, a masterpiece/It’s too good to be true, nothing better than you in my wildest dreams.  13. Yours – Ella Henderson: And if I’ve been feeling heavy/You take me from the dark/Your arms they keep me steady/So nothing could fall apart.  14. Leather & Lace – Stevie Nicks & Don Henley: Lovers forever, face to face/My city, your mountains/Stay with me stay.  15. I Get to Love You – Ruelle: One look at you, my whole life falls in line/I prayed for you before I called you mine.  16. God Made a Woman – Jarrod Niemann: Never gave Him a reason to bless me at all/And I still can’t believe that an angel would fall/For a guy like me, guess He sees who needs saving.  17. Angel of Mine – Monica: How you changed my world you’ll never know/I’m different now, you helped me grow/You came into my life, sent from above/When I lost all hope, you showed me love.  18. Mango Tree – Zac Brown Band feat. Sara Bareilles: I love you, Say that you love me too/And we can turn the whole world upside down.  19. Late to the Party – Kacey Musgraves: And who needs a crowd when you’re happy at a party for two?/The world can wait/'Cause I’m never late to the party if I’m late to the party with you.  20. Bless the Broken Road – James Johnston: I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you/But you just smile and take my hand/You’ve been there you understand/It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true. 21. Sing to Me – Walter Martin feat. Karen O: Everyday I listen to the funny things you say/I hope you never ever change your ways/Let’s take a wander through the world today.  22. Sure Thing – Miguel: This love between you and I is simple as pie baby/It’s such a sure thing.  23. Sweetest Devotion – Adele: I’ve been looking for you, baby/In every face that I’ve ever known/And there is something 'bout the way you love me/That finally feels like home.  24. Blended Family – Alicia Keys feat. A$AP Rocky: I know it started with a little drama/I hate you had to read it in the paper/But everything’s alright with me and ya Mama/Baby everybody here you know adores ya/I think it’s beautiful, I think it’s perfect/I know how hard it gets/But I swear it’s worth it.  25. Happy People – Little Big Town: Well life is short/And love is rare/And we all deserve to be happy while we’re here.  26. Forever & Ever, Amen – Randy Travis: If you wonder how long I’ll be faithful/Well just listen to how this song ends/I’m gonna love you forever and ever/Forever and ever, amen.

Now or never...

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 1,271
Warning(s): some feelings and angst in the beginning but it gets better^^
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. It belongs to Erik Kripke, our god.
A/n: Umm, hey guys. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I haven’t wrote or posted anything for almost a year now. I feel so bad for letting all of you down, but I feel that I’m gaining back my writing skills. I’ll try to post at least once a week from now on. Hope you aren’t mad at me. Anyways, enough with my whining. Let’s get started, shall we? Feedback is WELCOME!!
Masterpost

~Thoughts~

I tried to say. Tried to actually voice my words. My concerns and opinion. I had to do it. Had to make everything clear. I needed that like one would need to breath…

But I couldn’t…

Keep reading

It’s a Victuuri hockey AU y’all

The first time Yuuri is chirped during a hockey game, he was seven years old and he thought his best friend hated him.

“Wh-wha..?” Too-small-for-his-jersey Yuuri asks, voice cracking and face scrunching into a sob that looked like the saddest thing in existence, “Why are you being mean? Do you hate me?” he was about to say something akin to ‘what did I do’ but he’s full on hyperventilating/crying that the words are left at the back of his throat.

Danny looks mortified at the havoc he’s caused, waving his tiny hands in front of him. “No no no no!! It’s just called chirping!! It’s what they do in the big leagues!”

“I don’t understand!” Yuuri wails, hockey stick clattering on the ice, “Why would Teemu Selanne tell somebody else that they suck!”

Danny holds his helmeted head in distress, discombobulated as any seven year old would be at a situation like this. “I don’t know!!! Am I a bad person?!” 

Danny buckles under the stress and starts crying too. Their little league hockey coach comes back from the washroom and arrives to two seven year olds crying on the ice, and he wonders, honestly, what fresh hell.

-

The second time Yuuri got chirped on, he chirps back, and it was a weak one.

The defenseman from the Bennet High throws his head back, laughing heartily while clutching his stomach. He almost stumbles back, only to catch himself in time. Yuuri glowers down at his skates, red as a cherry tomato. 

“’You’re such a butt’?” he shrieks, and Yuuri winces at the volume, “Who chirps like that?!” 

Apparently Yuuri does, and he skates away, embarrassed. 

“You’re too nice, Yuuri.” Phichit says after the game as they stowed away their gear into their lockers.

“What does insulting somebody have to do with hockey anyways..” he groans.  

Phichit sits next to him, sympathetic. “You’re just not made for chirping.”

“So are you!” Yuuri says defensively, and Phichit smiles at him cheerily.

“Suck on a stick, you damn baby.”

Yuuri lays himself down to eternally sleep, maybe.

-

Yuuri promises that today, he chirps. A respectful chirp, as these guys are gonna be his future teammate, but a chirp nonetheless. Phichit says that done right, it’s major points for team building (a little friendly jab, Phichit says). As much as he hates the practice and does not know it’s purpose, he’s gonna chirp somebody and it will be a good one, goddammit. It’s the hockey team tryouts, and though he’s not here to officially try out, he has to show at least one person that he’s more than a hockey scholarship.

Somebody blows a whistle to indicate a five minute break. It’s going okay. Leo’s nice, and though Seung Gil’s the quiet type, they pass the puck between each other with such fluidity that their both genuinely surprised. Yuuri is skating back to the bench when somebody slashes their stick against his skate and it almost makes him lose footing.

Yuuri turns around, scrunches his face the way his other teammates would scrunch their faces when they’re about to let a comment rip, but he was met by the most unjustly apologetic person in the universe.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking!”

Yuuri falters, his resolve crumbling, because goddamn this guy was sorry and also good looking. Unjustly good looking. The hair poking out of his helmet is grey the way thunder clouds are when they roll in at seven in the evening, and his lips is heart-shaped the way Yuuri’s own heart is definitely not clamoring madly in his chest. Yuuri feels assaulted by a feeling that hit him hard from head to toe. 

“Are you okay?”

Yuuri turns and skates away in a panic.

“Hey, wait!”

Instead of chirping, he’d written a goddamn poem about this guy.

Fuck me the fuck up.

-

The doorbell rings to to Yuuri’s dorm room, and he is met by grey hair and heart lips. 

“Hey!” Grey hair smiles cheerily, “My name’s Victor.”

Yuuri reels back, taken aback. “O..kay?”

Victor looks at him expectantly, still smiling like he is made of purity and joy, and damn Yuuri to hell if he’s cruel enough to not answer. “Yuuri Katsuki.”

“That’s a great name.” he says, “Anyways, I think you were trying to tell me something back at the game.”

Yuuri looks at him, still glued to the door jamb, perplexed to the high heavens. “What’re you talking about?”

“When I accidentally slashed your skates. You turned to me and was about to say something before you clammed up.” Victor says like he expects Yuuri to remember, “What was it?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri answers, stressed out, but Victor looks at him expectantly. “Something like, maybe..”

“Yeah?” Victor looks excited.

“Eat a shoe.” Yuuri says numbly, disappointed. “I was going to tell you to eat a shoe.”

Victor laughs genuinely, the sound of his voice carrying through his room. Phichit gurgles incoherenty in his sleep. 

“That’s adorable.” he says, “We’ll work on that.”

“What?” Yuuri asks again, perplexed.

“My name’s Victor Nikiforov.” Victor says (Nikiforov, nikiforov.. wait. WAIT) 

“I’m your captain.”

Yuuri feels like his heart’s going to perforate. 

Well, shit.

hikaruchau  asked:

I AM SHAMELESSLY REQUESTING THIS WITHOUTASKING ANONYMOUSLY ON, SO LIKE: Could I please please please request sentences "I want to have a baby.” and “You’re the love of my life.” with Hikaru? ; o ; <3 Love your stuff guys, you're literally the only reason I even started a tumblr ahahaha. I am all for happy stuff, so sorry if this is not angst or something, but.. Happy happy vibec! ; u ; <3

I hope you enjoy this @hikaruchau!!! Thanks for your lovely prompt!!

Keep reading

dreamyduckling  asked:

Hi! I wanted to know if you wanted to write the: ,,I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you" prompt? I'm a really big fan of your cute fics, I've read every single of them and enjoyed them so much!

Awwwwww! Thank you so so so so much!!! You’re so so so so sweet!!!! I really liked writing this one! It was really sweet and sort of angsty. I hope you like it! Enjoy!!!!


“Guys this is Lola.” Tom motioned to the demon girl standing next to him. “Lola, these are my friends.” He told the girl. She didn’t seem like she cared too much.

“Oh… what happened to Jamie?” Star asked a bit confused. She remembered the kid Tom had been hanging out with  just a few days ago.

“We sort of just… lost touch.” Tom shrugged.

“After a week…” Marco nodded. “O…kay.” He looked over at Star who shrugged. Lola said something to Tom and he nodded.

“Okay, we’re gonna head out. I’ll see you guys later.” He waved at his friends and he left with the girl. Marco watched them go and looked out the window. When they were on the lawn Tom gave the girl a kiss and held her around her waist.

“Maybe this one will last longer than two days.” Marco huffed. “What’s been up with him lately? He’s just running around with all these different people that he meets in sketchy places. None of them are nice and he doesn’t seem… happy.” Marco explained.

“I’ve noticed it too.” Star sighed. “Every week he’s got a new stranger.” She recalled. “And he’s been going out like, every night to some parties with them. I don’t like it.” She rubbed the back of her head. “But he can take care of himself I guess.” Star decided.

“I think I should check up on him tonight… see how he’s doing.” Marco decided. Star nodded, worried sick about her friend’s sudden change in personality. It’s like he was a totally different person. “Star I… I don’t like this change.” Marco sighed. “I liked Tom how he was… and he’s not like that anymore.” He explained.

“Maybe he’s just… going through a rough time?” Star suggested. Marco looked away. He had to figure this out. He couldn’t lose Tom.

——————————————————————–

“Is Tom here?” Marco spoke as loud as he could over the music being played in the bar. It was a sketchy place under a building. And it was filled with people from different dimensions. They were all either dancing or drinking. And a group of people were in the back, handing something back and forth. But it didn’t smell like a drug from earth, and the smoke was glittery.

“What did you say?” A girl called back.

“IS TOM LUCITOR HERE!?!” Marco yelled. The girl shrugged and swung her head back, drinking something out of an unmarked bottle. Marco looked around. This place wasn’t the type of place Tom hung out at. Sure he loved parties, and to have fun. But this was too much, it didn’t even seem real.

“Marco?” A voice spoke. Marco turned around and saw Tom looking over at him. Tom laughed and gave Marco a hug, stumbling over his own two feet. “Oh my god! It’s so good to see you!” Tom laughed.

“Tom, are you drunk?” Marco asked. Then a boy who was with Tom started laughing and put his hand on Tom’s shoulder to keep him from falling.

“Trust me, he is WAY more than drunk.” The other guy assured. Tom laughed and tried to give Marco another hug.

“Marco! Marco… Marco, this is Bryce. I met him here.” He smiled.

“What happened to Lola?” Marco asked. Tom made a confused face and shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He admitted. “But it’s fine though, Bryce is super cool. He told me to drink this, so I did and now I feel great.” Tom smiled, playing with a little bottle. Marco shook his head and took it away.

“No, you can’t just do that. What has gotten into you! You’ve been acting insane for the past weeks!” Marco exclaimed. “You can’t just drink something that a random person at a party gives you! Do you know how dangerous that is?”

“Here comes the safe kid, right on schedule.” Tom rolled his eyes, looking like he was about to topple over.

“Okay, fine. Call me the Safe Kid, I don’t care. Come with me.” Marco grabbed Tom’s arm and the demon ripped away, nearly falling back.

“Hey, don’t grab at me. I’m staying here.” Tom told him. Marco groaned and gripped his hair.

“Tom, you are a MESS, I’m taking you home.” He told him. Tom just shook his head and pulled away again.

“No, Marco. You’ve done more than enough.” Tom snapped at him. Marco fell back confused, he was about to ask but Tom kept rambling. “You just messed all of it up for me! All of it! And now you wanna make it worse by helping me. I don’t WANT your help! Just go away.” He shoved the human, and Marco growled.

“Fine! Have fun here with your friends!” Marco hissed. And marched off. Tom watched him go and then he felt somebody pull him aside.

“Come on Tom, let’s-” Bryce was cut off by the demon.

“I feel bad.” Tom sighed, looking off at the direction Marco left.

“Who care about him?” The other kid asked. Tom then shook my head.

“No, I don’t feel bad like that… I just feel… bad.” Was all Tom could get out before he collapsed.

——————————————————————————

Tom opened up his eyes with some difficulty and looked around. The room looked so familiar, but his head hurt so badly he could hardly process anything. “Oh good, you’re up.” A voice came. Tom looked up and saw Marco sit down next to the bed, he looked angry.

“What happened?’ Tom asked, wearily sitting up.

“Your so-called friend left you passed out in the corner of a bar.” Marco told him. “Nice to know you have such good taste in friends. God! Why were you being such a jerk!” He hissed. Tom rubbed the back of his head and Marco kept scolding. “You’ve been dating random people for just a few days at a time, and then going to these dumb parties and getting drunk and hurt! You’ve been acting so stupid!” Marco cried.

“I know… I’m sorry.” Tom sighed. Marco sighed and sat back down, crossing his arms. “I’m gonna stop all this… I promise… I have to stop all this.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I just… I thought it would help but overall… it’s been making it worse.” Tom shut his eyes as tight as he could.

“It’s been making what worse?” Marco asked, scooting closer.

“I thought… I thought if I ignored it it would go away. And tried to repress it with all this other stuff.” Tom leaned back, but Marco still didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Tom, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Marco begged. Tom sighed.

“Marco… I… you make me feel things that, I don’t want to be feeling… but at the same time… I don’t want that feeling to stop.” Tom blurted out. “I… I think I love you, Marco.” He spoke. Marco’s eyes widened and Tom groaned, but continued talking. “It’s torture… the most wonderful torture there is and I… I thought if I kept dating other people soon they’d give me the same feeling you do but… I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.” Tom spoke.

Marco stared at him for a long time. “All this time… you’ve been in love with me?” Marco asked in shock. Tom sighed and nodded.

“I-I’m sorry. I thought by doing all this dub stuff I could cover it up and run from my feelings but… they just keep coming back… I had to tell you. I love you, Marco.” Tom continued. He looked at Marco for a long time in total silence. “Oh Marco please say something. Please just say anything!” Tom begged. Marco bit his lip and then jumped forward, tackling Tom down in a hug. Tom froze and Marco held onto him tight.

“Tom I… I miss you.” Marco sobbed. Tom held onto the human. “I don’t like the way you’ve been acting and the things you’ve been doing because… I love YOU. I do! I love you! Why would you run away from that?” Marco asked.

“I was scared I… I thought you wouldn’t feel the same way I…” Tom trialed off, in total shock. He just clung onto Marco. “I promise never to leave you again, Marco… please give me a chance I love you! I do and I-”

“Shhh.” Marco cut him off. “It’s okay.” He assured. Tom looked at him in shock and Marco kissed the demon on the top of the head. “I understand… and I’m just glad to have you back.” Marco grinned. Tom smiled and hugged the human around the waist.

“Thank you, Marco… thank you.” Tom was near tears and Marco just kept hushing him.

“It’s okay… I love you.” Marco spoke. At hearing those words Tom felt like his entire world just lit up with a million lights. He felt that fluttering feeling in his chest and he felt lightheaded and totally joyful.

“I love you! I love you! I love you!” Tom cried, hugging him tight. Marco smiled and held the demon close.

“You know you threw up in my shoes last night.”

Italian tips for Pidge and Matt!

Hiya! I saw something similar for Lance so I just thought I’d share some tips on how to write Pidge&Matt as they’re both of italian heritage and ya girl here is 100% italian as well. Please feel free to correct me/ask anything!

• As cartoonish as it sounds, we do go “mamma mia” a lot, especially here in southern Italy I reckon? It can be for surprise (“mamma mia!!”), out of frustration/when you’re done af (“mamma mia *insert eyeroll*”), even for pain (“mamma mia che botta” = dear god that hurt).

• If you think Matt would ever go “ciao bello/a” FORGET IT. NO. NEVER. NOT HAPPENING. That’s a painfully bro thing to say, I’d honestly say it’s borderline fuckboy-ish. Middle aged women or ☆ s p a r k l y ☆ girls do say ciao bella to their girlfriends quite a lot though, which does sound better. Still cringe, but better. I personally can’t see Pidge saying it, like at all - but it all depends on how you perceive her character I guess??

• Things we don’t have: Domino’s, Taco Bell, Captain Chunks, Fruit Loops, Malteasers, Twinky’s, Costa, Nero, Walmart, a shitload of candy/cereal, coffee shops in the traditional fanfiction sense aside from like two starbucks maybe (you can’t enter a “bar” and sit down with your laptop i mean you probably can but that’d be weird wth move along pal we need this table)

• Coffee in plastic cups? Blasphemy

• Unless you’re a teen/young adult that can afford going to that one Starbucks we have somewhere in the north idek where maybe Milan? Florence? Someone tell me

• Many people roll their eyes at Starbucks by the way, especially older people. (“kids these days with their plastic cups and dumb pumpkin spiced lattes fricken whippersnappers”)

• “Oh mio dio” is for d r a m a t i c effect. We usually say that when something INTENSE happened and we want to react just as intensely. It’s what your average italian screams when, let’s say, the Earth is about to be incinerated by the sun. “Oddio” is chiller and shorter, therefore it’s also way more common and it’s also what Matt thinks whenever anyone fucks up/gets hurt.

• “Bastardo/a”, “stronzo/a”, “coglione” are common insults, listed from less to more vulgar. Coglione is perceived as p vulgar, just like “cazzone” (i mentally apologised to my mom just for typing it tbh its so vulgar and uncomfortable to say) “figlio di puttana” (son of a bitch). They can also be used ironically or to refer to the friend you’re always ready to fight tbh

• On the subject of insults, figlio di puttana can’t be used like son of a bitch. It has to be directed at someone, it’s not a general exclamation. Please note that it’s a very degrading/sexist thing to say as it literally means you’re slutshaming someone’s mother, which is a big deal. I’ve seen people come to physical violence to defend their mothers. Basically: don’t insult an italian’s mom, golden rule to survive here (again, especially in southern Italy. I’m from the deep south so that’s why I’m making these notes!)

• “Idiota” is Pidge’s go-to insult, hands down. Lance fucks up? Idiota. Lance shamelessly hits on someone? Idiota. Hunk pukes in the ship? Idiota. Keith snaps dramatically and ruins the diplomatic meeting? Idiota. Coran rants about his glorious past with his cape and the goddamn themesong? Idiota.
Idiota usually refers to someone who does idiotic things or is considered less intelligent, but Pidge (as the majority of us do tbh) would use it to say “ily but im so done with u rn man jfc”. It can be said to express anger too of course!

• Family is a big deal. People refer to their mother as “mamma”, “ma”, “mami”, “mammina”. Mammina is what children would say, it’s the equivalent of mommy.
To address their father on the other hand, italian people will say “papà” (common as s h i t), pà, babbo, papino (which means daddy nO NOT LIKE THAT).
IMPORTANT: please remember to put an accent on the a for papà. If you type “papa” you’re referring to the actual pope and that’s a whole different thing!! Keep this in mind my friend!

• “Ehi”, “Oi”, “Ue” are common ways to get someone’s attention and are also used as a way to greet somebody. They can be (and usually are) followed by “ciao”. Other ways to greet people include salve (polite speech), buongiorno/buonasera (very rude not to use these when entering a shop/bar/restaurant).
It’s also VERY rude not to say goodbye in those situations (arrivederci = polite way to excuse yourself). You don’t need to be polite when talking to someone you know, even if you’re not particularly tight/familiar with them tbh (ex. “ci vediamo” = see you!)

• “Cià” is ciao without the -o and it’s used when you’re annoyed and want to quickly end the conversation, or when you intentionally want to be rude for whatever reason. It can also be used ironically. Pidge would probably say it whenever the crew f i n a l l y lets her do her thing in peace.

• Yes, we do talk with our hands sometimes, but no, we do know what personal space is. While it’s true that some people see personal bubbles as uhh way less personal than you’d probably like, italians don’t generally get in your face when talking to you. Unless the relationship/context allows it, of course.

• Cazzo = fuck, fucking, frick, fricken, damn, damn it, god damn it…. yeah.
Cazzo goes everywhere, no matter what you’re saying or what emotion you’re feeling. It can be said on its own to convey e v e r y single emotion ever, but it can also be used like “il cazzo di telefono” = the damn phone. It’s considered as vulgar speech!!! A more polite way to say the exact same thing would be “cacchio” but honestly who even says that just go for cazzo man go hard or go home

• To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t think either Pidge or Matt would talk with their hands too much. It does happen!! But it’s not as big as stereotypes make it out to be. Anyway, as we have plenty of very specific gestures (and tone/content of the conversation/place all play a crucial role), please ask an italian for help with that!! I’ll gladly do a full post about it if anyone needs it but I promise it’s less frequent than one would think!

• On the subject of stereotypes: the mafia thing can TRULY upset some italians, especially if they’re from southern zones like Sicily. I personally don’t mind at all as every country has its own stereotypes and myths, but some people do. I can see both Matt&Pidge not being fans of the mafia jokes tbh.

• “Fratello” (brother), “fratè” (bro) are both ways to let people know just how fuckboyish you are. They can be used ironically (meh) but seriously it’s what actual fuckboys say please don’t make Matt say fratello/fratè unless he’s saying something like “you’re like a brother to me" because cringe. Same goes for Pidge although she would probably say it ironically I think?? Again, please note that fratè needs the accent on the last -e otherwise you’re saying “frate” which means priest/monk and is also 100% more acceptable than fratè.
• Sorella/Sorè = Sister/Sis. Same as above. Cringe.

• We always specify the relationship we have with someone in our family before saying their name. “Zia Anna” = Aunt Anna. Nobody will ever refer to a relative without that clarification EXCEPT FOR COUSINS. Saying “Cugino Marco” (Cousin Marco) is weird as fuck. pssst about that: zio/uncle, nonno/grandpa, nonna/grandma.

Aaand that’s the gist of it, I believe! Again, if anything is unclear or you have any doubt, please feel completely free to ask me about it! Also I’m sure there’s a lot of italians in the fandom (aayyy where u at my friendss) so yeah if you know anyone just ask!! It’s much better than resorting to google translator ;;

Requests (2/?): Taegi 

–>Arranged Meeting #1 in the Chaebol!AU for you anonie (≧◡≦) ♡ (not very much of a HC(?) but just thought I’d share this with ppl who like this AU! Tho, a heads up: I don’t know what i’m doing l o l. Also: explicit language…? IDK HAHA)

-Everyone in Yoongi’s family knew matchmaking Yoongi was a terrible, terrible idea bcs Yoongi couldnt even handle somebody telling him to clean the dishes and very much less being told to unite in holy matrimony with another complete stranger; no matter how “fine, husband material” this other person was told to turn out. 

-So everyone was betting their credit cards on Yoongi ditching the poor victim and burning down their family’s front lawn the first few weeks of introduction.

-But almost a month passed and nothing was burning and nobody died.

-Although, technically they weren’t wrong. 

-The first meeting consisted of a typical blind date in a restaurant uptown and Yoongi was bristling (apparently his mother couldn’t find a suitable time to schedule meet-up #1 since Husband Material had his plate full with his hard-pressed work on most days of the week. So they settled with a last minute brunch arrangement when Mr. Husband Material could “free up some time” and Yoongi was supposed to be recording.) 

-Yoongi purposely took his time; shrugging on a hoodie and picking up his keys off the kitchen counter at an amazingly slower pace than he’s ever voluntarily done; only to chime into the quaint establishment and guided to a reserved, empty table. 

-Husband Material only came in 25 minutes later when Yoongi was already staring daggers back at the other patrons who were shyly giving him silent encouragement. 

-When he saw those fluffy brown locks come bounding up to his seat with slack-clad long, long legs, Yoongi felt something similar to the taste of vomit coming up from the back of his throat bcs

what the actual fck?

-He vividly recalled his mother saying: It’s a blind date. 

Taehyung casually sat down, placed his leather messenger bag by their juxtaposed feet under the table. Yoongi probably heard a muttered apology, short mentions about the traffic, the weather and also something about rushing off to somewhere later but Yoongi just gave him a very hard stare; his tongue stuck tight to the roof of his mouth. But clearly his indignation was totally lost on the male opposite to him who was already picking up the menu by his elbow and positioning his reading glasses over a high nose; like they did this every other day, like both of them didn’t just get tea bagged by their respective parents right under their noses. 

Taehyung: /turning to the waitress/ I’ll have a seafood Aglio e Olio-

Yoongi: Taehyung

Taehyung: -And water. /turning to Yoongi/ Hyung. What are you hav-

Yoongi: Yah. Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung: Calm down. Let’s order first, okay? I can’t be here for too long-

Yoongi: Are you crazy? I’m not doing this with you.

-Yoongi only watched Taehyung’s unfaltering nonchalance. Even as Taehyung sighed, dismissed the wary waitress and neatly folded his hands over the wooden surface. He even had the nerve to check his nails, Yoongi fumed. 

Yoongi: If you were dying to choke on my dick, you didn’t have to run your mouth to our parents. ‘Blind date’? Blind date, my ass. 

Taehyung: /Yoongi watches as Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow; warm hazel irises swirling with concealed mirth under the low light/ It is a blind date. Didn’t know it was you till I saw your car outside.

Yoongi: Bull. Shit. What the fck were you thinking? 

Taehyung: Listen. I didn’t know. Told my mother I rather have somebody I knew if she was going to set me up. Didn’t think she’d pick you. 

Yoongi: Cuz what? Don’t have anymore twinks to warm your c/ck in your local area? 

Taehyung: Judging by you being here, clearly my mother knows what she’s doing. 

Yoongi: Fucke- 

Taehyung: Hyung. Don’t tell me you never expected this in the least? The two openly gay children to the two largest corporate families in South Korea, single. You didn’t expect them to pair us up? 

Yoongi: Expected this? Oh sure I was. I was powdering my nose, sitting pretty, waiting for you to bend on one knee in my sleep. Get off your high hors-

Taehyung: Proposing already? Well I was hoping you’d do it. You know. You being two years older and all that. Unless, of course, if you want me to do it, I see no reason not to. But not here, no. The floor looks dirty. 

Yoongi: Yah. We’re not doing this. I’m not doing this. Not with you. 

Taehyung: Why not?

Yoongi: Why not? Have you lost your freaking mind? We barely know eac-

Taehyung: Barely? I see you more than I do my own brothers. I could almost call this in/cest.

Yoongi: Look, kid, I don’t know what you’re playing at here but I’m not doing this with you. This won’t work. You know why this won’t work. 

Taehyung: Then what? Ruin my parents’ reputation bcs you’re just that embarrassed to hold hands with me? I don’t do things for you. 

Yoongi: God dam- Kim Taehyung. This is not Ice Age, genius. If you stopped being difficult and just tell your parents you don’t want this, nobody has to go through with this shi-

Taehyung: And tell them what? We fcked at their villa everyday over summer, you left and now you act like I don’t exist? We can go together and do that right now. Shift can get fcked if we could finally get this sorted between us. And you know what I want. 

Yoongi: So that is what this is about? About your feelings? If that’s what all you’re going to talk about, I don’t see why I should even be here anymo-

Taehyung: What I want is for both our parents to get off my dick. I’m not just existing to fuck and breed. I might not be as important as my brothers are to my parents in the grand scheme of things but I have a life and you do too.

Yoongi: Wh-

Taehyung: This talk about marriage is wearing me out. So before they tie us both up and leave us stranded on an island, I’m hoping we’d breeze this through ourselves. You can move in my apartment, we can go on a honeymoon, get a puppy if you’d like. Then we go our separate ways, after maybe, i don’t know, 1 year tops? 

Yoongi: And why the fuck do you think I wanna do this?

Taehyung: You’ve got a better plan? Us mistress’ children don’t have much choice. Thought you’d know better than that. 

Yoongi found himself at a dead end. He felt his mouth quickly run dry, feeling his mind drawing up blank. It was a good compromise but Yoongi’s pride couldn’t leave room for any contemplation. 

Taehyung: Give it some thought. There’s no rush. Not like our parents aren’t going to stop just because our dicks shrivel up… And I’ll leave now. Don’t have much of an appetite anyway. 

Then, as casually as he’d strolled in, Taehyung had easily swoop up his belongings and left the table with the tab in tow; leaving Yoongi worrying his chapped bottom lip with a plate of grilled lamb skewers and a flute of apple juice placed neatly in front of him. 

momozo-takenaka  asked:

1, 7, 8, and 18 for reigen :D

  • 1: What is a scene that really got to you?

I already answered this one here!

  • 7: What’s the most hilarious moment to you?

I also answered this one here! But truth be told any English dub moment is funny. That dub is g o l d. For example

  • 8: Favorite and least favorite arc?

Tbh I think my favorite arc is the Mogami arc, mostly for projection reasons. owo;; and my least favorite arc is the Separation arc because it deals with my biggest fear. ^^;;

  • 18: What headcanons do you have for Reigen?

Dude….D u d e….do you even realize…who I am…? Buckle up and lets go.

-Autistic Reigen

-Ace Reigen

-Reigen used to love to sing and wanted to be a famous singer but was bullied out of liking the sound of his own voice, so that desire of wanting to be famous morphed into ‘wanting to be somebody’

-When Mob nods off on really long bus rides, Reigen lets him use him as a pillow and hums softly to help him rest. 

-Reigen’s favorite stim is running his hands through his salt bag. 

-Reigen has a shady file on his computer called ‘massages’ which many people think to be a porn folder….it isn’t…its literally just tips and tricks on massages. 

-Reigen used to have some purified salt, but discovered the hard way that it hurts espers.

-Reigen loves dogs, but never was able to have one because his mother was allergic. 

And now a thing from my Headcanon list:

-Reigen….Is a walking existential midlife crisis. He doesn’t know what he wants to do so he tried to do everything and now….he’s a con man running a half successful consultation office and using a child to do his shit for him and he came from a pretty shitty work life that was physically, mentally, and emotionally draining and so he decided to help as many people as he could

but yeah. that’s totally where his issues of self worth came in because reigen was good in school but here’s the thing he never knew what he wanted to do and god has he tried.

he’s changed himself over and over and over and over again to try to find something that he might at least be INTERESTED in. but no. He’s not interested. All that’s in his head that are interesting are superhero shows and esper powers (because this guy was most definitely a reverse weeb at some point if he knew about obscure American cartoons about food based superheros.)

but he can’t find anything real.

He can’t find anything Useful

And after schools over he just collapses in on himself and gets a soul draining job as a phone clerk at some sort of company and he has to turn so many people down and he has to not help and there are people crying and he goes home crying but his mom is proud of him because he has a job!!! but….but…

he’s lost his heart. his soul. his love for the world and he feels empty inside and the depression grows and grows and grows until he becomes seriously ill and has to take a week off to just think and reflect on himself and when he’s doing this he reconnects with the things he used to love. with the things he’s always wanted to be…

And he quits the next week and makes his business and starts the most bullshitted project he’s ever done in his life. but he does this with such intensity and such determination that it doesn’t flop in the first few months and he’s okay with most of his clients being just normal people needing massages because

HE CAN HELP PEOPLE. HE CAN HELP PEOPLE.

AND HE’S HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG WHILE BECAUSE HE CAN HELP PEOPLE.

HE CAN BE S O M E B O D Y

He actually gets his hands on some exorcising salt and he actually manages to exorcise a few real ghosts by sheer dumb luck but then one day as he’s smoking a cigarette after a long and quiet day there comes a little knock on the door and before this knock Reigen’s life had been pretty much the same as it was in the job. just day after day. job after job. the only difference being he was actually able to help people. 


but this door opens and there’s this kid there and this kid is so small, so vulnerable and so hurt…

He knows it’s probably a prank but he can’t turn away a kid like this….and he feels really happy when he finally makes this stoic kid smile….but then he asks to come back in tomorrow and reigen doesn’t know if he can do this…if he can lie in front of a kid…

but then mob uses his powers and reigen remembers his empty wallet and his bills piling up and he hates himself for what he’s about to do but he does it anyway because it would help both of them…right??? right??

and every day he feels guilty but he hides it behind confidence and shit and it continues and then one day he realizes that he’s patting mob’s hair and praising him and actually enjoying himself because god, he really loves this kid doesn’t he…?
   

bU T HEY. I THINK I RAMBLED ON FOR TOO LONG SO OWO;;

thirdhostage  asked:

hhEEeeeEeyyyYyyy :00 I have a request, love! If you may, could you please do headcanons for the paladins + a cheeky Lotor, for when their S/O comes back from a two week trip that they took with a different team member (visiting planets to collect stuff for the ship) and how they react when their S/O finallllllyyy comes back?? Worried, exasperated, overly happy? How are they with the wait c:

Annyeonghaseo! Here’s your headcanon! Hope you enjoy!

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anonymous asked:

hey ive seen u mention that u were coming up with how a deacon romance would work and i was wondering if u would share?? :-)

8) WELL IF U INSIST….

but bare with me its nearly 4 in the morning so this will be Disorganized lmao (ALSO SPOILER WARNING FOR DEACON’S CHARACTER ARC AND ALSO THE MAIN STORYLINE SOMEWHAT) 

(also this got very long im sry lmao i have a lot to say about Deacon)

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Barry Allen Imagine - Don’t Blame Yourself (Part Three)

Author’s Note:

  • Trigger Warnings: fear of being raped, feeling of intense helplessness, paralysis, self-loathing.

Just one more part and then we’re done! Thank you to everyone for appreciating this piece as much as you all have. It truly means a lot. (I may say this many times until it loses all meaning but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. ‘Cuz it is.)

No more blabbering, and onto the piece!

Part One || Part Two

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