i feel like shit and probably wasn't going to go anyways

tsc books summed up (spoilers duh)
  • -tmi-
  • city of bones: what the fuck??? hot guy with tattoos??? my best friend is a rat??? mOm
  • city of ashes: family problems. umbridge 2.0 turns out to not be so bad. it's almost like the universe has something against simon lewis being human
  • city of glass: if you thought family problems were bad in the last book, oh boy you have another thing coming. actual incest happens compared to the previous incest-that-wasn't-incest. everyone is an asshole at some point except maybe baby max and yknow what happens to him
  • city of fallen angels: guESS WHOS BACK BACK BACK BACK AGAIN
  • city of lost souls: we can't even focus on the fact that clace is now happily incest-free because of what the shit going down. alec is insecure but we love him. poor amatis. alec becomes a hero yay
  • city of heavenly fire: a lot of people die. we get vague tid references and we meet mini emma and jules before the parabaDRAMA goes down. people walk in on other people doing things. we visit hell for a family vacation.
  • -tid-
  • ca: "i would literally rather be reading than doing any of this"
  • clockwork prince: more family problems also im crying and wow these parabatai are both gorgeous
  • clockwork princess: ducks and demon pox. lots of feels. tessa kicks ass.
  • -tda-
  • lady midnight: i swear that these kids were like 12 what happened why did they grow up and why are they so much cooler than me?? cristina is awesome and malcolm is not. we meet the angel that is kit. this is the book where people still thought Diana was irrelevant lmao joke's on them
  • lord of shadows: HI I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS??? WHY IS MY HEART BEING RIPPPPED OUT OF MY CHEST IM CRYING LIKE EVERY OTHER PAGE except kitty that's cute. asH (morgenstern)? it's a really big damn book
  • qoaad: not even out yet but we're all probably going to die. but is clary?
  • -bonus-
  • tftsa: hi im Simon Lewis and im cool but i don't remember being cool anyways let's hear about waywood that shit is sad
  • the bane chronicles: glitter 💫 and a long line of people who aren't as cool as alec up till we meet alec. shadowhunters suck
  • tlh: we are all going to die wtf is happening with the family trEE?
  • codex: dictionary that you actually enjoy reading
  • twp: (chant this) KITTY KITTY KITTY (sing this) aaaaand a plus sized drusilla blackthorn with her own!! friend group!! yeS!!!

Title: Revelation
Characters: Hanji Zoe x Levi
Genre: Humor / Angst
Rating: T

@levihanweek​ Day 3: Sense  - - - A continuation of my Day 2 piece. The shenanigans with Pastor Nick continue. And the angst too.

Read Day 2 here.

Hanji took a long, slow breath and conceded, “You’re right. I know you’re right. But I keep going over it in my head. Analyzing every moment, considering if there’s something I could have done differently.” She laughed quietly, bitterly, “not that it matters now anyway.”

“You’re still talking like a fucking idiot.”

Nearby, the pastor shook his head, muttering under his breath, “That’s no way to talk to your soon to be wife.”

That snapped her out of her thoughts. Hanji’s head jerked up, “-your soon to be what?

“It’s not – just – fuck,” grabbing her ponytail, he forcefully turned her away from the pastor, “Ignore him.”

The pastor hummed, “You should tell her about my offer. Life is short.”

Levi’s ears flushed red. He hissed, glaring murderously over his shoulder, “Shut the fuck up.”

Hanji looked at the pastor, perplexed. An offer? Could it be - had he agreed to open up about the true nature of the walls?

Levi must have read the excitement on her face. Grimacing he shook his head. “He hasn’t agreed to help us with anything useful – yet,” he ground out the last word, an unsubtle threat.

“My ceremonies were quite sought after in Stohess, actually. I even allow time for individuals to include their own vows,” the pastor said, effortlessly changing the subject.

Levi rose in one fluid motion. “Yeah, you’re gonna wait outside.” Grabbing the pastor by the front of his shirt, he dragged him up. The pastor yelped as Levi sent him stumbling out of the tent.

Hanji watched the exchange, mouth agape. It almost sounded like the pastor was talking about,“…Levi, is he offering to-?”

“He’s an old, senile bastard and I think you rattled a few brain cells loose when you hung him off the wall,” Levi muttered. The tips of his ears were cherry red.


Hanji almost left it at that. Almost. But he looked so damn uncomfortable. She couldn’t help herself.

“Is there any particular reason why our friend Pastor Nick wants to marry us?”

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Ed Sheeran sentence starters
  • "I saw a shooting star and thought of you."
  • "You were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love."
  • "If you wanna put this on me, that’s fine, I never blamed you for anything at all."
  • "The world looks better through your eyes."
  • "It's only been one night of love and maybe that is not enough."
  • "If I fall for you, would you fall too?"
  • "It's not a homeless life for me, it's just I'm home less than I'd like to be."
  • "I haven't slept for the past week, two hours ain't enough for me."
  • "I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke."
  • "You can stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now."
  • "Outside the day is up and calling, but I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep."
  • "Never been better since all the therapy."
  • "And you know, if I let you go, I'll still keep you safe."
  • "You are the one I fall asleep with but never wake up to."
  • "The worst things in life come free to us."
  • "I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed."
  • "What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all."
  • "I know I'll never hold you like I used to."
  • "I'll be drunk again to feel a little love."
  • "I know you'll never love me like you used to."
  • "I found your hair band on my bedroom floor, the only evidence that you've been here before."
  • "I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself."
  • "There's no chance that we'll work it out."
  • "I said that's fine, but you're the only one that knows I lied."
  • "Everybody said we'd be together forever."
  • "Everything's great and everything's sure, but you live in your halls and I live in a tour bus."
  • "Pain is only relevant if it still hurts."
  • "If I was gonna go somewhere, I'd be there by now."
  • "I should ink my skin with your name."
  • "I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles."
  • "You should never cut your hair 'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder."
  • "You will never know just how beautiful you are to me."
  • "Maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale, too."
  • "This is the start of something beautiful."
  • "And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm."
  • "I'm out of touch, I'm out of love."
  • "I think I love you better now."
  • "Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd."
  • "Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures."
  • "You need me, man, I don’t need you."
  • "Never be anything but a singer-songwriter, yeah."
  • "People think that I’m bound to blow up."
  • "I haven’t got a house, plus I live on a couch."
  • "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator."
  • "Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady."
  • "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."
  • "Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone."
  • "All I want is the taste that your lips allow."
  • "Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more."
  • "It's been a while but I still feel the same... maybe I should let you go."
  • "Another love that's gone to waste."
  • "If I kissed you, will your mouth read this truth?"
  • "Darling, how I miss you."
  • "You made me scream, but then I made you cry."
  • "Maybe you should learn to love her like the way you wanna be loved."
  • "I never told her that I liked the way she dances slightly out of time and pretends she knows the words to a song she's never heard."
  • "You’re not her, though I try to see you differently."
  • "I will try to find another one who suited me as well as her."
  • "We never even tried, we never even talked, we never even thought in the long run."
  • "Whenever it was painful, whenever I was away, I’d miss you."
  • "I didn't mean to break your heart."
  • "Everybody falls apart sometimes."
  • "I know you've found another one, but won't you just hold me tonight."
  • "They don't know we don't speak anymore."
  • "I will stop trying to fall in love again... it never works out anyway."
  • "But I am not anything like I was."
  • "I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night if that's alright."
  • "I shouldn't have fucked with your mind and your life too many times."
  • "I never meant to sleep around, I was just lonely."
  • "When I see my future, it is with you."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "If they find out, will it all go wrong?"
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends don't treat me like you do."
  • "Tell me that you turned down the man who asked for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me."
  • "I know, you're gonna be away a while, but I've got no plans at all to leave."
  • "Just promise me, you'll never leave again."
  • "Just promise me, you'll always be a friend."
  • "Everything changes, but we'll be strangers if we see this through."
  • "I've been sat with you for most of the night, ignoring everybody here."
  • "Don't you worry if I disappear."
  • "I'm not really looking for another mistake."
  • "I was never looking for a friend."
  • "Maybe you could swing by my room around ten, baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin."
  • "Baby, if you wanted me then you should've just said."
  • "Maybe we'll go together and just figure it out."
  • "Trust and respect is what we do this for."
  • "You didn't need to take him to bed that's all."
  • "I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course."
  • "It's not like we were both on tour, we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor."
  • "I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different."
  • "This is not the way you realize what you wanted."
  • "It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest."
  • "Getting high as two kites when we needed to breathe."
  • "I'd disappear, you'd call me selfish, I understand but I can't help it."
  • "So we can either deal with the pain and wait to get on a plane."
  • "You should go, 'cause I ain't ever coming home."
  • "I've been livin' on the road, but then again you should know."
  • "You won't ever be alone... wait for me to come home."
  • "Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."
  • "When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me."
  • "How'd I get so faded?"
  • "I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream."
  • "I've been looking for a lover, thought I'd find her in a bottle."
  • "I'll be feeling this tomorrow."
  • "You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that."
  • "We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much."
  • "You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us."
  • "All that you are is all that I'll ever need."
  • "Just don’t expect me back this evening."
  • "I love him from my skin to my bones but I don’t wanna live in his home."
  • "I was raised to keep quiet."
  • "I don't wanna hate you."
  • "I kind of knew you liked the dude from private school."
  • "I knew he had his eyes on you."
  • "He's not the right guy for you."
  • "Don't hate me 'cause I write the truth."
  • "I would never lie to you but it was never fine to lose you."
  • "I'm just disgusted with the skeletons you sleep with in your closet."
  • "Fact is you're mad at me because I backtrack so casually."
  • "You're practically my family, if we married then I'll guess you'd have to be."
  • "Tragically our love just lost the will to live, but would I kill to give it one more shot? I think not."
  • "I don't love you, baby, I don't need you... I don't want you anymore."
  • "I'm not cut out for life on the road 'cause I didn't know I'd miss you this much."
  • "I guess I'm not the man that you need."
  • "Ever since you went to uni, I've been sofa surfing with a rucksack full of less cash and I guess that could get bad."
  • "When I broke the industry, that's when I broke your heart."
  • "I was supposed to chart and celebrate, but good things are over fast."
  • "I tend to turn you off and switch on my professional features, then I turn the music off and all I'm left with is to pick up my personal pieces."
  • "Success is nothing if you have no one left to share it with."
  • "I know you have a day job, but mine is 24/7."
  • "I still love you and I need you by my side if I could."
  • "The irony is if my career and music didn't exist, in 6 years, you'd probably be my wife with a kid."
  • "I'll die from a thrill, go down in history as just a wasted talent."
  • "Eventually I'll be fine, I know that it was never meant to be."
  • "These things happen for a reason and you can't change shit."
  • "Take my apology, I'm sorry for the honesty, but I had to get this off my chest."
  • "I will be loving you 'til we're 70."
  • "People fall in love in mysterious ways."
  • "I fall in love with you every single day."
  • "For four years I never had a place to stay."
  • "At 16 years old, I moved out of my home."
  • "I tattooed the lyrics onto my arm."
  • "I'll hold ya and you'll think of him."
  • "I'll never trust you again, you can just be a friend."
  • "If we should die tonight, then we should all die together."

anonymous asked:

I understand your feelings about Nalu. All the other couples had important romantic moments in this last arc, except Nalu. Nalu had many moments, but no one really important, or romantic. And whenever it seemed the time had come, nothing happened (for example, the last one, when everyone expected a Nalu reunion that there wasn't). 1/2

“I thought that being the endgame couple would be the last to develop, but this is the last arc, and nothing really romantic is still happened, although they will be canon in the last chapter, it is still a disappointment, because they deserved more development. 2/2″

I don’t know, I feel like they’ve had really good development in this arc, at least from Lucy, especially considering the toll of being one year apart. Gajevy and Gruvia (for the most part) stayed together over the timeskip, while our mains were split up. Jerza wasn’t together, but hell, we already know they fuckin getting married. Anyway, my point is, the time apart could have affected them more, but I think it’s a testament to their relationship that their relationship didn’t change, or in my opinion, got stronger when Natsu returned. Natsu is incredibly encouraging to Lucy in the Avatar arc, and puts her mind at ease on several occasions. This is so important because Lucy is usually bright and positive, yet we see her as nervous and disbelieving a lot in the Avatar arc, which I’m sure Natsu noticed, and wanted to make go away. He’s not someone who “confesses”, so we have to kinda guess through his actions. Although, his after-war plans could be something along those lines??? I don’t know anymore.

In the Alvarez arc, we have seen varying gravities of Nalu moments. One of the first ones is when Natsu is no where to be seen on the radar, and everyone, especially Lucy, is pretty distraught about it, and we see the relief on her face when they say they found him. A major Nalu moment was chapter 468-69, when Natsu’s unconscious body is dropped at Lucy’s feet for the first of many times LMFAO in this arc. A lot of this arc is Lucy worrying about Natsu, bless that poor woman’s heart, and we already know all of those parts. We probably only need to go over the Nalu moments initiated by Natsu. 

TL:DR: it’s completely unnecessary to go over Lucy’s initiated Nalu moments, because we already know this bitch is in love with him okay. Let’s just stick to Natsu’s.

  • Going back to Caracol (?) Island, we can recall that Erza and Lucy were sucked away by Marin’s magic, and although Natsu of course cared about both of them, we see his arm reaching out where Lucy was
  • In chapter 477, Lucy was about to be killed by Jacob while protecting Mavis, and Natsu swoops in just in time to save his wife. And with a quirky yet sweet quote. *picks up volume 56 laying next to me* “Lucy is still Lucy, even if all that’s left is her head. But I’d feel sorry for her like that so…I’m gonna have to burn you to ashes!!” This is a great parallel to Edolas, when he says *picks up volume 21* “Just try putting even a scratch on Lucy…and I’ll turn you all into ashes!!!”
  • Natsu is a v proud husband when Lucy tricks Jacob into letting Marin out of his magic space.
  • Natsu says it is fun to mess with Lucy on their way to August, while Brandish messes with her
  • Knowing that Lucy was about to run to help Brandish, and that doing so would get her killed, Natsu fuckin leaps out and not only basically tackles her, but fuckin cradles her head like goddamn how much cuter does it get, folks
  • Nalu loses 10 points because of Natsu grabbing her tits when they wake up from that whole Universe One thing
  • Alright the next one occurs when Brandish takes Natsu, Lucy, and Happy away from Gray and Juvia. Brandish grows Natsu’s tumor, causing him to pass out once again. And, as we saw from last time, waking up is difficult, and should take a long time. Yet, we see Natsu struggling and shaking to get up while Lucy fights Brandish, literally exhausting his dumb ass after trying to say Lucy’s name but only getting halfway through before collapsing again. Commitment amirite
  • Ah yes. Then we have The Moment. This part is simply not explained enough, but it is touched on in a Q and A in volume 60. *gets volume* Mira’s order of events states that: 1. DiMaria stopped time. 2. Natsu notices Lucy (and stares at her chest) (me: a joke btw) 4. Anyway, Natsu removes the ropes from Lucy ( insert another joke about him staring at her tits from Mira lmao) 5. Natsu sees an unmoving Lucy and mistakes her for dead. 5. The power of END awakens! And blah blah he punches the shit outta Dimaria and leaves for Zeref. TL;DR: He was originally able to move in stopped time simply because he’s a demon apparently, or that’s what Mira (Mashima) tried to convince us. This, and the flashback he has, convinces us that he thought Lucy was dead, cries and cradles her for a moment, turns into END, and yeah. Also, it is alleged that Lucy was the only one who could stop him from doing The Stupid Shit, based on what he says to Gray after he ends the flashback.
  • Long skip of time here before we see any Natsu Nalu moments because Lucy is giving us so much Nalu material, Mashima was probably like “eh that’s enough, I don’t want to actually give the fans anything too good” lmfao
  • The next time we have anything relating Nalu from Natsu, is when we meet Brandish and Dimaria again in Magnolia’s streets. Dimaria is scared shitless of him, and Natsu says he probably overdid it, and I think Brandish is the one who says it was because he thought Lucy had died. Not really a moment, but at least they brought it up again
  • When Lucy is forced to leave Natsu’s battle with Zeref, she tells him not to lose, and he basically promises her that he’s totally got this. Which, hell yeah he did
  • When Lucy saves Natsu’s life by rewriting the book, Natsu is aware it is her doing, and thanks her. One of the things leading me to believe Natsu thinks of Lucy as more than a friend, are usually his facial expressions. If Natsu were thanking someone like Wendy, I just feel like he’d have a completely different look on his face.

Yeah, that’s…all we got lol. I always thought it would be harder to get Lucy on the Nalu train, but she’s literally driving the fucking Nalu train. It would take me years to talk about her contribution to Nalu in this arc. Especially after Natsu’s facade of a death, I’m not worried in the slightest about Lucy’s feelings not being romantic for Natsu. 

So here’s what has to happen for Natsu to actually get on the god damn Nalu train after so long without initiating a major Nalu moment. 

1. The “Happy” Route: This is a pun and I’m proud of it. In this end, Happy’s mention of Natsu’s after-war plans is about Lucy, and everything is peachy-keen. Automatic Safe Zone

2. The “Sacrifice” Route: In this Nalu route, Lucy has to play a role in Acnologia’s death or the return of the dragon slayers, specifically involved in a way where she nearly dies, and we can just do the whole “didn’t know how much you mattered to me until you were gone” thing. But a lot of things have to go right wrong in order for this to even happen. 

NEW ONE I JUST EDITED IN: Lucy does something drastic that puts her in danger, because she believes Natsu is actually dead.

If none of these things happen, I’m afraid Nalu might not even have a “Implied Canon” ending. And all I want is Implied canon. Literally. And if Mashima refuses to give us that….I’m obviously not gonna hate him or anything…I’ll just be extremely upset for the rest of my life.

I can’t remember your question…I hope I didn’t run off the tracks but I probs did lmfao

The Misdelivered Package

Kristanna Modern AU ~ ONESHOT
Rated: M (Swearing, adult situations… lol, I dunno - this one is kind of out there)
WC: 3564
~Is misdelivered actually a word?  Why are titles so hard.  Also I have no explanation for this, lol

Kristoff yawned as he walked to his door.  Damn the night shift for making his life hell for a week every month.  There were so many noisy things during the day when he was trying to sleep, like someone ringing his doorbell.

Keep reading

kelly6ridge  asked:

Stranger things: Steve holds a pot luck fourth of July barbeque for the gang, everyone forgets to bring something except Jonathan, and El/Jane, who brings a shit ton of eggos. Jonathan and Steve finally reconcile, the party™ man the grill and somehow only burn half the things, and pizza is ordered by the only responsible person there. Star wars: Rose and the people she tazed before Finn got to her. Or the five times Leia was impressively patient and diplomatic, and the one time she wasn't.

Thank you for the prompt! As always I am going to take a teaspoon of it and then run into an entirely different direction, with much love and affection for you.

Here’s some Stranger Things, Steve POV, OT3


Steve, if pressed, would say that they are fine. Him, Nancy, and Jonathan. He’d say they’d reached an understanding, and he isn’t angry and he doesn’t get acid reflux when he sees her kiss Jonathan’s cheek at his locker before heading off the class. He’s eating and sleeping just fine.

Not that anyone would press, as he doesn’t really have, well. Friends. Anymore. Besides the two of them and their gaggle of almost-freshman disasters.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Or or ORRRR, you could write about Ethan coming out as gay and his reaction when for the first time in his life he wasn't shuned or told he was wrong bc the team is chill 🎶

when you’re right you’re right

[warnings: homophobia, panic attack, vomit]


Ethan felt his heart beat sync to the sound of water dripping from the faucet.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. 

He felt his face go hot; the water he’d just splashed on himself didn’t seem to be helping at all.

He forbid himself to begin crying again, but the anxious feelings building up inside him were hard to endure. 

Memories of kids in high school were racing through his mind faster than he could help. Don’t even think about what happened that night. Don’t. Don’t.

Except evidently, trying not to think about something makes it more difficult to not think about it.

He found it harder to breathe as he practically relived sprinting into the bathroom in the middle of a party at the end of his junior year. He felt the same hot tears streaming down his face as he did then, after being laughed at by his best friend and hundreds of other people.

He felt just as sick as he had when he’d quietly confessed his feelings to his best friend in the corner, then shoved and called “a disgusting f**got”.

Ethan gasped for air and harshly wiped his wet face off with a hand towel, though he was sobbing now.

Nauseated, he sat down on the closed toilet seat and shut his eyes tightly.

He remembered sobbing in the bathroom just like now at that party, his friend drunkenly telling everyone else about it loud enough to be heard through the door. 

Nobody’s laughs hurt him as much as his best friend’s did that night.

He didn’t go to another party for a year after that, but the taunting was relentless no matter how much time passed. Though most of the school had attended the party anyways, high school rumors spread like wildfire.

He’d occasionally find notes in his locker from jocks mockingly asking him out, or get disgusted looks from people passing by, not to mention the big red spray paint on his locker the following Monday, which simply read “HOMO”.

It definitely didn’t help that the school decided it could wait a whole week to be cleaned off of his locker, and that his parents just had why Jason didn’t come over for dinner anymore.

Not like Ethan could tell them the reason. Not like he could say that he’d been in love with Jason. Not like he could say nobody, let alone his best friend, would even talk to him anymore unless it was unavoidable.

As it would turn out, though, it didn’t matter that Ethan didn’t tell them.

It didn’t matter that Ethan hid everything about himself from his parents for two years after that, because his mother would end up directly asking him anyways.

She would end up yelling at him for hours to just answer, insisting she didn’t care either way. Insisting she just wished Ethan would tell the truth.

Ethan sat locked in his bathroom for hours, forced to listen to his mother’s begging for the truth.

She never mentioned that the “truth”, once it came out, would end up getting Ethan kicked out and forced to go live with his dad.

“Please mom,” Ethan had begged, “Don’t tell him why.”

He knew for a fact his father wouldn’t take him either if he knew.

His mother was gracious enough to agree, but Ethan would never forget the pain he felt seeing his brother’s face as he said goodbye.

His brother had been looking at him like a stranger.

The brief hug they shared before Ethan left was stiff and one-sided.

Then, once he was finally settled and living with his dad, there was the confused remark his dad made after Ethan dyed his hair bright blue.

“Ain’t that stuff for queers, kiddo?”

Ethan hadn’t noticed that now, in the office bathroom, his lip had begun bleeding.

He hadn’t even known he was biting it.

He opened his eyes slowly, the taste of snot, tears, and blood sour on his tongue.

Fifteen minutes, two boxes of tissues, and countless attempts at regulating his breathing later, Ethan heard a knock on the door.

“Jesus, Ethan, you done yet?” Mark called from a distance, “We’ve been out for half an hour.”

Tyler was the one at the door, though, and he knocked once more. “We got Subway, are you gonna be out soon?”

“Yeah,” Ethan’s voice was ironically cool, “One second.”

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The faucet was still dripping. Ethan stood, satisfied with how he looked overall fine now, then turned the faucet knob tighter to stop the dripping.

His panic attack had made him feel like he was hit by a truck, but nonetheless, he exited the bathroom with the most confident stride he could manage.

“Can the Subway wait for a second?” Ethan asked the team, watching Amy and Kathryn look up from the still-wrapped sandwiches.

Mark began to say, “Fuck no” but stopped himself halfway through. Ethan must’ve looked as hopeless and broken as he felt.

“Yeah,” Kathryn answered softly for all of them, “What’s up?”

Tyler had turned around in his office chair, intently listening, and Mark was slowly setting down a wrapped foot-long on the table.

No going back now. 

Even if Ethan backed out and said “nevermind”, he clearly looked like shit and those kinds of friends don’t leave you alone until you tell them what’s wrong.

Ethan took his six-hundredth deep breath that day and shakily said, “I need to tell you guys something.”

His voice broke a little, but he’d already cried every tear his body could produce. No need to worry about breaking down once you’ve already completely broke.

He wished somebody would respond and say that whatever he needed to tell them, he could, but they were probably all too worried to talk now.

One more deep breath.

He’d get it out as quickly as possible, like downing horrible tasting medicine.

“I’m gay.”

He said it as clear as he could, because he felt he’d explode if he ever had to repeat those words again.

Or face the consequences.

Except, oh god, nobody had heard him.

Everyone’s expressions were just confused or the same as before. He had to repeat himself anyways.

“I,” Ethan choked back tears he hadn’t thought possible, “I said I’m gay!’ He snapped. He wanted the consequences already, he’d never had to wait this long before.

“You don’t have to yell, Ethan,” Tyler said softly, smiling just slightly, “We heard you the first time.

“I’m pretty sure the office next door did too,” Kathryn laughed lightly. 

And then all four of them were smiling and Ethan collapsed to the floor, no longer trying to hold back his tears.

Shocked by his crying, the team was immediately knelt down beside him floor.

“Ethan,” Amy tried softly, rubbing his back, “What’s wrong? You know we still think you’re awesome, right? Ethan?”

Ethan was crying too hard to answer.

Mark was trying to get their blue haired friend to look up at them. “Ethan, it’s okay,” he insisted, almost argumentatively, “This doesn’t change anything, okay?”

Ethan finally looked up, face wet and flushed red. “But I’m gay,” he croaked, saying the last word like it was a synonym for rapist or murderer or something heinous.

“Yeah, you are,” Tyler was tearing up a bit, hating to see Ethan cry so hard. He pulled the younger man into a hug and rubbed his blue hair, “And we love you. So cut it out, okay?”

Ethan said nothing, and he was still crying, but he had obviously realized the team wasn’t lying. He relaxed into Tyler’s embrace, giggling through his tears as Mark, Amy, and Kathryn wrapped around him as well in a group hug.

They stayed like that until Ethan could breathe again, then slowly pulled away. Mark patted Ethan on the back reassuringly, “Ready for Subway?”

Ethan looked down and blushed with a smile. “Actually, I have to go pee really quick,” he admitted sheepishly.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Kathryn said and groaned in unison with the rest of the team.

Ethan just laughed and insisted he’d only be a second, before disappearing into the bathroom.

He didn’t need to mention that the half hour he’d spent in there before was having a panic attack, not peeing. He didn’t need to tell them why he’d been terrified of coming out since he’d moved to LA or contemplated killing himself multiple times.

He didn’t need to tell them any of that, because all of that was behind him. He was with Tyler, Mark, Kathryn, and Amy now, and they loved him for who he was.

And he was absolutely, completely, really fucking gay.

Let’s make sweet music

a ‘you’re my neighbor and every single night at 2AM you decide to practice your trombone well joke’s on you because I bought a trumpet and you’re about to get owned’ AU 

For @hiriahb love ya, girl x 
(follower milestone thing, send me rebelcaptain + an au/trope

Jyn gasped as he pushed her up against the wall. The kiss was biting, a little too much teeth and a little too rough, but it did the job as she shook right down to her toes. She hastily yanked at buttons, his arm splaying out to anchor itself to something and a lamp crashed to the floor. Jyn sucked his tongue into her mouth, lips curling up as she finally got his shirt open. Sliding her arms around the skin of his back, she heard him whine a little, but the boy could fucking wait. This was her night, she wanted to be the one who fucked him senseless until he couldn’t walk straight, he was gonna –


He wrenched himself away from her lips within seconds.

“What the FUCK is that?” Scott asked, staring at the wall in utter disgust. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Things you said when you were scared

Follow-up to yesterday’s (though you could probably read it as a standalone)

She sat on the edge of Peter’s hospital bed, holding her sword towards the door as she listened to the approaching footsteps.

“Are you really going to do this every time?” Peter asked wearily.


The door opened, and the Nova Corps nurse who stepped through didn’t even blink an eye at the sword being pointed at his face. He did sigh deeply, however, as he held out his badge for Gamora’s inspection.  

“You may proceed,” she said regally, moving her sword so it was no longer in his way.

“Gee, thanks.”

She kept a close watch on the nurse as he fiddled with the machine at Peter’s bedside and examined the IV in his arm.

“Everything seems to be fine,” he said, making a note on a holopad.

“Great!” Peter grinned. “Can I go home early then?”

The nurse was already shaking his head. “We want to keep you til tomorrow just to be safe.” He glanced at Gamora. “Though if you were anyone else we would have kicked you out by now for having that.” He nodded his head towards her sword.

Gamora glared and pointed it at him on his way out.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Peter said as the door shut. “No one is coming after me.”

“I’m not taking the chance,” she said, feeling something in her chest tighten at the thought. “And it is not ridiculous.”  

“You almost stabbed Drax yesterday!”

“He shouldn’t have entered so quickly. Which he admitted.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because he’s a nutter butter who thinks threatening everyone with a sword is a rational thing to do.”

“It is when any one of these people could be working for the enemy!” she said tensely.

“I really doubt any of them care enough to come back to try and kill me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“They weren’t even after us! We just happened to be in their way when I got shot.”

“I…” Shit. Gamora screwed her eyes shut, the image of Peter bleeding on the ground rushing back to her. 

There was just so much blood and Peter was sweating and shaking and there was nothing she could do but put pressure on it until they got to the hospital. And even then, they took him into surgery where she couldn’t follow and she had to wait for what felt like an eternity before he came back out, pale and unconscious but mercifully alive.

“Gamora?” Peter’s concerned voice made her open her eyes, realizing too late that she’d started breathing faster and her hands were shaking. “What’s wrong?” He lifted his arm to put a hand on hers, wincing as he moved his shoulder.

She took a deep, unsteady breath. He’s fine, he’s okay, he’s alive. But she felt it anyway – the water welling in her eyes, the hitch in her breathing. Dammit, she’d been holding this back for two days, why did it have to happen now?

“Hey, c’mere,” he said, tugging gently on her arm. She let him pull her into an awkward sort of cuddle, with her carefully holding her sword out of the way and laying her head on the middle of his chest to avoid his injury. He brought his good arm up to stroke her back and she sighed a little, relaxing into him.  

“What is it?” Peter asked quietly.  

Something about the way he was rubbing her back must have shorted out her brain, because she told him with no hesitation. “I almost lost you.” She felt her cheeks flush a bit and buried her face into his shirt to hide it. One stray tear fell and splashed onto the fabric.  

“Oh,” he said, tightening his arm around her. “Gamora, you know I’m terrified of losing you too, right? But no one is gonna come in here trying to hurt me, I promise.”

“Maybe it was a bit of an overreaction,” she mumbled. She felt Peter’s chuckle, heard his heartbeat.  

“Just a bit.”

She was quiet for a moment while she allowed his rhythmic breathing to soothe her fears. She relaxed even more into him, a sense of calm replacing her overprotective furor, something settling into place in her mind.  

“I love you,” she said matter-of-factly, almost without even thinking about it.

She felt Peter’s heart start beating a little faster. “Good,” he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. “I was hoping you did.”

anonymous asked:

how are you so good at writing? my teacher legit hates whenever i write essays bc its shitty af cause of grammar or sentence level shit. how do you do it? can you teach us just a little bit or more?

Hi nonnie,

I think there are a couple of things that can be helpful, if your concern is grammar/language. First thing is to read a lot. Don’t study grammar. TBH it’s not like I ever think “is there agreement between my verb and subject?” Just, no. People don’t do that. You have to just get a sense of what is correct, even if you don’t know exactly why. And maybe some people would cringe at my philosophy, but… I have some big issues with what your teacher’s reaction to your writing, which I’m going to put under the cut because #salty. But basically you have to get an ear for what is correct, which comes with a lot of reading. Most people who call others out on shitty grammar can’t actually explain why it is wrong with any great success.

The other suggestion I will make is to read your writing out loud. Make sure when you read it, you sound like you are speaking to an authority figure, not a friend. With your friend you can say shit like “bro, Tamlin is such bleeding tool I can’t even deal but ya know whatever the spring court be goin’ down”, which is completely a run-on sentence and super informal and doesn’t conjugate “to be” correctly. But you would not write like that to an authority figure! Plus, reading things out loud can help you realize that oh, actually this sounds like literal poo, I had better change that. OR, even better, have someone else read it out loud to you. Listen for parts when they are struggling, make note of them, and revise.

If you have other questions and/or comments let me know, I teach college-level writing so I know some stuff.

OK time for some salt re: grammar and writing below the cut; you didn’t ask for this nonnie, but you got it.

Keep reading

If We Were A Movie (Seventeen Preference)
  • AN: this was probably one of the best requests of all time, I felt so so inspired by it and I hope you guys like it to. I'm seriously thinking about turning this into a whole serious, where each of these is a boy x reader oneshot so pls lemme know what you think of that idea? <3
  • S.Coups/Seungcheol: The Classic High School AU
  • We all know that our boy Coups would slay as the classic high school heart throb. Nobody would fit the part better than him. He is the meaning of after school football practices and making cheerleaders' panties drop with a wink and a smile. He also has the heart and the smarts underneath his muscles and good looks to bring dimension to his movie character that would surprise the protagonist in the best way and make you fall in love. (I mean, who wouldn't fall in love with him, anyway?) Not only does his character fit seamlessly into this AU/genre, but he embodies the genre itself. The cheesy romance bits of the plot, the corny jokes, and the underlying message to never give up on your dreams that always acts like a big brother to the viewing teens, just like Seungcheol does. He is the classic high school movie - a perfect way to settle into the movie marathon.
  • Jeonghan: Pre-Millennial Crime Thriller
  • That sounds like a very complicated title, but our Jeonghan is a very complicated and beautiful man. At first I wanted to call this one "1920's Mob Film", but I felt that was far too narrow. Mostly because crime dramas set in the 1960's and 70's are becoming very popular and Jeonghan fits that style very well along with the 1920's. So I believe this beauty would fit perfectly into any crime or mob movie set before the turn of the millennium. Mainly during the 1920's, 30's, or the 50's and 60's. His hair was just meant to be tucked neatly under a fedora and paired with a sharp suit that would have all his enemies shaking in their boots the moment they saw him coming. Because yes, he does have that beautiful, angelic face, but I feel that's what would make him the perfect crime boss. He would be the devil hiding in the angel's armour. Nobody would expect it from him until just a few moments before their tragic death. Slowly, over time, they would learn to fear this beautiful man, understand that this was his town and this angel was playing God not because he deserved it, but because he wanted it. I just feel like he's the human embodiment of soft music box music playing in the background of a murder scene during a movie like this, and I love it.
  • Joshua/Jisoo: Zombie Apocalypse
  • Joshua would be the Glenn of a Seventeen zombie apocalypse. (And because Glenn is my all time favourite character of everything I paired little Jisoo with the genre.) He'd be the good guy who survives strictly because he is good to others, and somehow manages to maintain his purity and morality even when the world goes to shit. That would be the best thing about him. He'd believe that others are still good and he'd high uphold the belief that no one should get left behind. He would be the guy who would often almost get killed trying to save other people. He wouldn't actually have many apocalypse survival skills, but his kind nature would find him with people to save his ass over and over again, no matter what trouble they had to go through doing so. Most would think that a badass type of person would embody the zombie genre, but I really think someone like Jisoo is it. He has the heart warming arch of the story, the loveable characters (you know, the ones you really, really don't want to die but probably get treated like shit anyway), and somewhere deep inside him he probably has the really dark parts that any good zombie movie has. But really he's probably more of a zombie comedy like Zombieland or Dead Before Dawn.
  • Jun: Vampire
  • Jun being the vampire genre is about as certain as the sun rising in the morning. He's a vampire through and through. But I believe he's his own breed of vampire. Not a classic, brooding dark creature of the night like Dracula, or a modern emotional sparkly lover like Edward, but a mix of sexual, adorable, funny, sassy, and something still very human that would make his vampire easily a romantic comedy or teen movie. He'd be the type to go around telling people he's a vampire, almost trying to scare them, and no one would believe him because he just doesn't seem like the type. And he'd drink blood out of those girly reusable athletic cups with straws in public, with no one actually knowing it's blood. He would be a lot like the vampires from My Babysitter's A Vampire, but with a twist of sexuality, and something a little more brooding. Because deep down he has realized his curse - being stuck between death and life for an eternity and having to kill to stay strong - and accepted it. He would just be the perfect main character, as well as the fact that he just embodies every aspect of every kind of vampire that has been portrayed on screen before.
  • Hoshi/Soonyoung: Summer Adventure/Feel Good Flick
  • Some of my all time favourite kinds of movies are the feel good summer movies about teens going on adventures and making some kind of growing leap or major character development over that summer. Like Now and Then, Whip It, The Sandlot, or the Goonies (which yes, I know that one was set in the fall). I feel like the spirit of these kind of movies also embodies a lot of music videos, like SHINee's View, which I really love. Hoshi himself is perfect for this kind of movie because he is a feel good summer adventure in human form. He's all the happiness and bright parts, all the interesting dips and turns in the plot that really keep the movie going. He's all the road trips, all the eating snacks out of crappy gas stations, sleepovers in rickety tree houses, bon fires on the beach, the best kind of montages to a great summer song (maybe Adore U?). Overall he's just a happy, bright little puppy that makes you feel really happy and bright like a great summer vacation and a great summer movie.
  • Wonwoo: Werewolf
  • As much as Wonwoo could be the ultimate emo vampire as well, I believe that his darkness can be channeled into hairy beast of the full moon. I was torn between him and Coups for this genre, but ultimately moody with a touch of puppy cuteness won out over heartthrob. I also feel that he has the mature side of a werewolf thriller or romance, and the silly side for when the genre is targeted toward a younger audience, like the show Teen Wolf (which I love, all time fav). And I mean he's just dreamy, and doesn't everybody have some weird werewolf kinky deep down?
  • Woozi/Jihoon: Magical Fantasy Land
  • My first thought with this one is Harry Potter. Woozi would be the perfect little pastel unicorn prince, slaying enemies with spells and making them bow down just with his cuteness alone. Even if it wasn't specifically Harry Potter, maybe it would be an Alice in Wonderland or Narnia, any magical fantasy would fit his personality and looks perfectly. The adorable shell with a serious, take charge and save the world undertone would belong there and make him the leader of the group or in any position of royalty if there was one - especially if there was some kind of magical "chosen one", he'd be it. Him just generally being ethereal, wise, and talented embodies this genre and if he was in a movie like this I'd watch it over and over again.
  • DK/Seokmin: Superhero Standby
  • There's nothing better than a good, classic superhero movie. Even the ones that are being made and coming out in 2015 seem to have all the classic elements to them, and that's what makes them so easy to love. Just like DK - he's a very classic kind of guy. Classic looks, classic humor, appears very easy going and easy to be around. That's why he would fit perfectly into the world of any classic DC or Marvel superhero (personally I'd go for DC, but that's just my preference). He could slip seamlessly into the role of ordinary citizen by day, and tall, handsome, muscled city saviour by night. His hero would be charismatic, loved by all, and not only treat the citizens as victims, but as everyday people that he loved and cared for. And if we really wanted to stir things up in this genre, DK wouldn't be the hero - he could be the shy, polite damsel in distress to our heroic female protagonist. Either way, Seokmin as a person has all the qualities of this genre - the humor, the drama, the energy, and the overall childish glamour that draws us all to loving superheroes and their adventures.
  • Mingyu: Low Budget Indie/Grunge Film
  • This is a very specific style of film-making, rather than a genre, that Mingyu (especially with his gorgeous silver hair) would fit into so brilliantly. There is a bit of cross-over between this and feel good summer movies, with movies like The Kings of Summer or Moonrise Kingdom, but the more unique thing I find about this genre is that the subject matter of these movies (mostly) is a lot darker. Usually of the nature of drug use and sex and abusive relationships. And what would our happy little Mingyu have to do with movies like this? It's really more about his aesthetic. Movies like this are all about aesthetic - there's entirely blogs dedicated to grunge, and a lot of movie screen caps end up on there - and his looks fit in perfectly. The sharply chiseled jaw, dark, smoky eyes, built form, and most of all, the silvery hair that really says grunge king. That and in my opinion, in the setting of one of these movies, he could turn on a dime from happy-go-lucky into the mystery, badass, soul punk that the story calls for. With an outfit change he could slip right into the world of a movie like How I Live Now, Hick, The Basketball Diaries, or a show like Freaks and Geeks.
  • The8/Minghao: Something Supernatural
  • One of the genres I definitely wanted to use was a supernatural one. Seemingly ordinary people having extraordinary powers (like the movie Push), demons and angels living in the suburbs, basically anything that would be the everyday plot of an anime. In this world, Minghao would be perfect in the role of the protagonist's best friend, the one who undoubtedly panics when he finds out what's really lurking in his world. But the protagonist would have nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to, possibly running from the government because of your abnormality, and you knew that Minghao would have your back. So you told him, disclosed to him all the freaky shit that goes on just under his nose, and at first he'd freak out. He'd deny it, he wouldn't really be able to cope. But then his heart would be right there in it. He would protect you no matter what, until his dying breath, doing anything to make sure you were safe. He would be the air of lightness, innocence, and maybe even comic relief that this genre needs.
  • Seungkwan and Vernon: Buddy Cop Movie
  • I know it might seem a little cheap to have two of them under the same genre, but you can't tell me these two wouldn't be the perfect pair of buddy cops. Just like Starsky and Hutch or the girls from The Heat, they'd have the perfect combination of bickering and die hard friendship to make their movie interesting and heartwarming. Seungkwan would be the paper work minded, rule driven, uptight cop that would be 100% about justice and putting the bad guy away, but doing it right. He would probably have some cheesy sap story from when he was a child about why he wanted to join the force in the first place that Vernon would brush off, but it would really get him in the gut. Vernon himself would be more of a dirty cop. He'd have more of a skewed idea of justice, but he'd get his bad guy no matter what it took. He would also be one to make jokes and ignore his paper work and this would bug the hell out of Seungkwan to no end. Together they would be the perfect cops, always get their man (or woman), and have a few laughs along the way. (Personally I would kill for this movie but that's just me.)
  • Dino/Chan: A Chosen One Story
  • This is the Divergent, Maze Runner, or maybe even Hunger Games type of story. Even though stories like this can vary drastically in their setting and details of plot, they usually do have a lot of aspects in common. Dino has all the traits of a protagonist in this kind of story; being young and uncertain, but having a great, strong heart and likely being able to overcome whatever is thrown at him with a smile. Even if he himself wasn't the Chosen One, he would make a great supporting character/best friend to the protagonist. I'm not really sure how else to go about explaining this, but Chan would be such a great character in a movie or even a series like this.
Which Tintin Characters You Should Fight
  • Tintin: Oh my god. Either you've never opened a Tintin book in your life, or you're just plain stupid. What the fuck makes you think you could take on Tintin? Have you seen what he can do? He's been shot four different times and lived. He's wrestled bears in Russia. One time he got attacked by three burly men in a Chinese prison and sent all. three. of them to the hospital. Think about that. Do not fight.
  • Haddock: Ok, so Haddock's a pretty tough guy. If you tried to take him on physically, you'd probably lose. But if you got him drunk enough you could insult him into submission. But why the hell would you do that? Hasn't he already been through enough? Do not fight.
  • Thompsons: You'd think since there are two of them, it'd be a loaded challenge, right? Wrong. These two couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag. Go ahead, fight the Thompsons.
  • Calculus: Are you really going to fight an old man? A deaf old man? Well if you insist. Just know that this deaf old man was quite an athelete in his youth and knows savate and can probably fuck you up in old-timey ways your millenial ass didn't even know were possible. And god help you should you ever call him a goat. Go ahead, fight Calculus. But you'll probably lose.
  • Nestor: Please do not fight Nestor. Do you think that with all he's had to put up with as Marlinspike's lone butler, he'd be any degree of phased at your scrawny punk ass? Please. Look at that fucker's stone cold face. He'll knock your ass out and use your mangled corpse for an ironing board. Seriously. I'm saying this because I like you. Don't fight Nestor.
  • Chang: I do not recommend fighting Chang. Not because I think you'd lose, and not merely because he is a sweet cinnamon roll child who you ought to feel ashamed for thinking you could fight, but look at his posse. He's friends with Tintin AND Haddock. Motherfuckers went to Tibet and fought a Yeti for him. Go ahead, fight Chang, but only if you're prepared for the shitstorm that will follow.
  • Zorrino: What kind of asshole are you, anyway? You filth, don't even look at me. That's like asking me if it's okay to kick a kitten. And the answer is no. Do not fight Zorrino, and may God have mercy on your soul.
  • Bianca: "Poor, weak woman" nothing. There is nothing weak about Bianca. One time she got arrested for conspiracy and shut down her own trial in only FIVE comic panels. When jailed, her biggest concern was that her pasta wasn't being cooked properly. You think she's scared of you? She'll just tag team with Irma and take your ass down in nothing flat. Kneel before the queen, you piece of shit peasant.
  • Jolyon Wagg: PLEASE fight Jolyon. I speak for everyone in the fandom and every character in the series when I say that you'd be doing us all a huge favor. You could probably take him down with one punch. Please fight Jolyon, be the hero this fandom needs.

anonymous asked:

47 +14 for starmora!

14. “Can I have this dance?” // 47. “Did you get my letter?”

this is. just angst. literally, it’s angst, and the only reason there’s fluff at the end is because of the “can I have this dance?” part of the prompt haha rip. think of this one as a prequel kinda to my last oneshot

send me a ship + a number for a way to say “I love you”!!!!

“You were so reckless, like, I can’t even believe it, because you’re supposed to be the smart one, preventing the rest of us from killing ourselves out there—“

Gamora sighs, slumping a bit where she’s sitting on the bed. “Are you done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not, because I’m in charge of making sure my team doesn’t die in dumb ways, but then you run off to deal with the biggest, baddest threat to the entire universe ever, not even trusting your own teammates to have your back!” Peter shakes his head in exasperation as he paces back and forth in front of her, gesturing wildly with his hands.

“You know that’s not what this is about—“

“How the hell would I know, because if you actually died out there, then there’d be no way for me to know!”

“Peter,” she says calmly, slowly, “Thanos is my fight—“

“He’s threatening the same galaxy that I live in, y’know—“

“I knew he would come after the team so I was going to handle it on my own—“

“That’s not fair, and you know it, Gamora—“

“Yes, we’ve always helped each other, but my problems are different—“

“No, they’re not!” Peter exclaims, throwing his hands up. “Maybe we weren’t all trained to be assassins by people who surgically implanted cybernetic enhancements in us, but some of us also lost our parents to crazy, power-hungry dudes who tried to be our dads, which resulted in us losing our childhood lives and homes.” He stops to catch his breath, staring directly into her eyes. “I know of at least one person who gets it, who gets you, so he understands why you felt the need to go off on your own to handle it, but he doesn’t understand why you actually did it.”

Gamora presses her lips together. “Did you get my letter?”

“Of course,” he says quietly. He sticks a hand into his jacket and pulls out a folded piece of paper with “Peter” written on the outside. It looks a little worse for wear now, probably from the fight earlier when Peter had led the rest of the team to help her defeat some of Thanos’ forces and put an end to her recent rogue adventures. He holds the paper up delicately between his fingers, despite visibly seething. “So, yes, technically, I understand why, but I don’t understand why.”

She doesn’t respond.

He sighs. “I probably read this letter more times in two days than I read my favorite book as a kid with my mom on Terra in eight years.”

“I just wanted you to know, to maybe understand…if we never got to…”

As she trails off, Peter steps closer to her. “Stop saying that, stop acting like this is the end.”

“But it’s Thanos, Peter,” Gamora insists, her voice scarcely above a whisper. “I first ran away years ago already knowing it would probably end in my death. I’d never intended for it to include anyone else.”

He sets the letter back in his pocket and gently takes her hands in his, pulling her up to stand with him. “But if we work together, like we always do—“

She shakes her head, her eyes glossy and a lump forming in her throat. “I still don’t think it’s possible.”

“Well, with an attitude like that,” he attempts to joke, but she shakes her head again.

“If you think it was easy for me to leave you all, you’re wrong,” she states, her voice regaining some strength. She pulls her hands away from his, turning away. “You all lost one friend. I lost four.”

He doesn’t respond at first, and Gamora wonders if she took it too far. She forces herself to get over it, because, really, when it comes to Thanos, she’d happily lay her life down to stop him and protect her friends, her family. She’s not about to drag them into her mess.

“Dear Peter, I wish things didn’t have to be this way, but I’m afraid I have no other choice.”

She turns at his voice to find him looking at her with a crestfallen expression.

“You’re probably confused about my behavior lately, including why I’ve written you a letter, of all things,” he continues reciting, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m sorry for being distant and cold. I wish I could be brave, like you, persisting after a lifetime of grief, but I can’t. My nightmares have returned and I don’t know how else to stop them. I know Thanos. I know his game. It’s my sole responsibility to see the mission through and stop him before he can destroy the universe, before he can destroy you and the others.

“You all taught me hope and love after so many years of loneliness and sorrow. I couldn’t be more grateful. I’m still proud that I’ve had the chance to be surrounded by friends, through the good times and the bad. And, of course, there’s you, Peter, who’s managed to teach me so many things about life, friendship, and a different kind of love from the others. Never doubt how much I love you. It’s because I love you I must do this. Take care of the others for me. Take care of Groot, even though he’s nearly full-grown now.

“If we do not meet again in this life, I look forward to when we are reunited in the stars. Love, Gamora.” He takes a deep breath upon finishing, looking at her pointedly. “Do you believe me now when I say I pored over that thing?”

She feels just as rattled by her words as he appears to be. She steps closer to him. “I never doubted it. I meant every word when I wrote it.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” he insists tearfully. “You stood by me against my evil, universe-destroying dad, without even batting an eye, and I know you’d do it all over again if you had to. Why can’t I do the same for you?”

Really, when he puts it that way, she falters in crafting an effective counterargument. Tears well up in her eyes and she lets out a shuddering breath, exposing the anxiety that’s been eating her alive since everything had gone to shit recently. She struggles for words, opening her mouth and shaking her head. “I’m not…I’m not used to someone loving me enough to do that.”

Her voice sounds embarrassingly pitiful, echoing the fear Thanos had instilled in her at a young age. She hasn’t broken down like this in a long time—years, perhaps—and she wants nothing more than to just crawl into some dark hole, never to be seen again, if only to save herself the humiliation of losing her cool like this, after acting like she had some sort of control over everything. (Again, she envies Peter’s bravery in his ability to be so optimistic, despite the world constantly ending around him.)

But Peter’s never judged her, and that doesn’t change now. He holds her hand, using his other hand to cup her cheek. “Hey, hey, breathe, babe. You need air to keep arguing with me.”

She can’t help the little strange gasp that’s supposed to be a laugh that comes out at his words, the corners of her lips twitching up. “I’m—I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I mean, life is really shitty right now, so that’s not okay, but it’s okay to be upset by everything and be a little vulnerable,” he says. “Of course, that’s almost just as scary as Thanos, probably, but I’d probably be confused if you weren’t really upset about all of this, y’know?”

“You should be mad at me,” she protests.

“Uh, did you miss my whole spiel earlier? I was pretty pissed, and even though I still am a little, I love you more than how much I’m mad for you, if that makes sense? Like, the love is trumping the anger. Anyway, I’m just glad you’re back, is what I’m trying to say, and I hope you’re not planning on running away again, because then I’m just gonna sic the team on you when we get you back again, and they’re probably going to yell and swear more than me.”

“Even Groot?”

“Even Groot. Haven’t you heard the mouth on him? We really should do something about his language.”

She wipes the last of her tears away with the back of her hand. “But who taught him those words, hm?”

“Rocket,” Peter insists. “Definitely not me.”

“Whatever you say, Star-Lord.”

He smiles, pulling her in closer and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “In all seriousness, though, please don’t run away and go rogue again.”

“I won’t,” she whispers, meeting his eyes.



At that, he pulls her into a hug, just holding her. She wraps her arms around his back, resting her face against his shoulder and closing her eyes, inhaling his familiar scent. As worried as she still feels over Thanos swooping in and taking them away from her, she feels a tranquility she hasn’t felt in weeks, feeling her heartbeat slow considerably. Though she still believes protecting Peter and the others is the right thing to do, she knows she can’t bear to pull the disappearing act again. It’s not fair to any of them, even if staying endangers them a bit more.

A gentle knock, accompanied by a soft “I am Groot,” comes from the door. Peter looks up. “It’s open, Groot.”

As the door opens, Groot pokes his head in. He’s practically back to his original size now and hardly fits through doorways. He looks concerned. “I am Groot?”

Gamora smiles. “I’m fine now, Groot,” she says, pulling away from Peter enough to look at Groot. “Thank you for helping me and bringing me back.”

“I am Groot.”

“You think music will help cheer everyone up?” Peter echoes. Groot nods with a smile. “Great idea, buddy. Can you go ask Kraglin to hook up the Zune to the Quadrant’s speakers? You can pick the song.”

Groot nods again, closing the door and walking away.

“Which song do you think he’ll choose?” Gamora asks, turning to Peter.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

The answer comes about a minute later, when the first chords of “Bring it on Home to Me” fill the room. Peter laughs as Gamora rolls her eyes, amused.

“I may have told Groot about what happened on Ego’s planet,” Peter admits, shifting his hands to take one of hers and hold onto her hip. “Can I have this dance?”

Gamora wraps her arm around Peter’s back and gently squeezes his hand. “You can.”

With that, they start swaying carefully, and Gamora breathes a sigh of relief. Her problems are far from solved now, but Peter’s words restore the hope Thanos had managed to squash recently.

She can do this. They can do this.

send me a ship + a number from this **new** list of quotes I reblogged the other day (pls specify in your ask if it’s from the new list tho hehe)!!!

((also I’m sorry for the angst but it’s ok cuz the oneshot that takes place after this one ends happily…..sorta))

Holster Has Made Out With Everyone 13) Senior Year: Ransom

This is the last installment! Thanks for reading.

“I think you two should make out,” says March.

This is clearly an intervention. April is here, and Bitty perched in a corner of the locker room clutching a tray of mini-pies and looking embarrassed for everybody. Lardo brought her fucking gavel. There is a laptop in the corner, and Holster’s pretty sure someone is going to suggest Skyping Shitty any minute. Chowder’s supportive smile is already looking strained.

The only people in the room that Holster isn’t mad at right now are Nursey and Dex who are ignoring the stupidest ever session of Samwell Men’s Hockey Court to grope each other behind the We Support You Both banner.

Keep reading

Something Really Stupid

So here’s a little Alan and Sharna fic I wrote just for fun and because I have absolutely no chill. I don’t think anything would ever happen between them, but I absolutely adore their friendship and they are both two very attractive and single individuals and I couldn’t resist writing this. Also, I love writing Sharna and Peta (and Jenna) together, so that made it even more fun!

“I’m about to do something really stupid,” Sharna hissed in Peta’s ear, grabbing her arm to get her attention and hoping everyone around them would be sufficiently distracted by something else for a minute.

“Yeah, no shit,” Peta whispered, turning to her with a smirk. “I’ve noticed.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sharna said quickly. “Surrounded over here by all your fans? You haven’t noticed a damn thing.”

“You mean you over there flirting with Alan?” Peta kept her voice very low and rolled her eyes. “Yeah. You’re right. I was totally oblivious.” 

Sharna blushed, which she didn’t often do and which completely gave her away. 

Flirting?!” she repeated, doing her best to sound offended. “I have not been flirting!” 

“You’ve been flirting and he has, too. Don’t be so naive. So,” she said, a smile spreading across her face. “That’s the thing you’re going to do, huh? Or should I say who.” 

Sharna had no response to this. “I have not been flirting,” she muttered. 

Keep reading

extravag-extravaganza  asked:

I just realized I wasn't following you so I fixed that grievous mistake (also first blog to follow bc my Tumblr game is weak). And idk if there's a limit to how many asks we can pick from that fic meme list but I really want to know your answers to G, H, K, L, M, P, S, T, U, X, and Y. :D

Daw well I’m glad to have been your first Tumblr follow babes 😘 You’re too sweet :’) 

No limit, I love talking about writing and I never get to so I’m all about it! SO LONG WINDED ANSWERS AHEAD SORRY IN ADVANCE. 

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?

I don’t know exactly what constitutes a crack fic/ship tbh lol. People call Bellamione a crack ship and I’m like fuck you fight me so ??? As for an actual crack fic, I haven’t read one of those since Glee. So I got nothing for this question basically lmao I’m sorry

H: How would you describe your style?

Umm. Descriptive, probably to the point of being excessive at some points but I’m working on that. I want people to see exactly what I see in my mind. I want them to read it and be able to easily understand everything that’s going on, be able to grasp the character’s emotions, and be immersed when the action strikes. So yeah. 

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

One that I’m still considering writing, in which Bellatrix preys on Hermione’s desire for her and uses her in an attempt to win the war. It’s still in the works but the potential for angst in it is endless. 

“Did you really think I would ever leave him, my noble pureblooded husband, for a worthless, filthy little mudblood like you? You had so many stars in yours eyes for me that they blinded you pet, it’s pathetic. Though I guess I can’t say I blame you. It’s only in your nature to worship your betters…There, on your knees. Where I’ve always liked you most, or don’t you remember? But of course you do…” Bellatrix sneered lasciviously as the entirety of the inside of Hermione’s chest imploded before the Death Eater’s evil, eager eyes. 

Or something like that ;P ANYWAY. 

L: What’s the weirdest AU you’ve ever come up with?

I don’t really do AU. And if I did I don’t think it would be weird or out there. The only one I really have on my mind is one I’m keeping a secret because I actually plan to write it at some point and it’s a long overdue gift for a friend who wrote me some stellar smut a long while back. SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Smut. Just…A lot of smut. Nothing with any real meaning. I haven’t had a real meaningful idea hit me since No Good Deed and we all know how that’s turned out so. Some “writer” I am. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Somewhere in between probably. I don’t write outlines or anything like that. The most I do is jot down scene ideas or dialogue lines that stick with me that may or may not make the final cut. But I have a general idea in my head of where I want things to go most of the time. The actual action scenes usually just unfold as they go so it feels more natural, and that goes for dialogue heavy stuff as well. 

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

The dead but not really trope lmao I DO IT EVERY TIME. I’m a one trick pony apparently. It makes no sense for the main characters to never get hurt or be in real mortal danger, but like also…I don’t want them to really be dead because what an abysmal ending. If I ever actually kill the main characters, I had to have planned for the story to be tragic and end that way from the beginning. 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

RANT TIME: I don’t know if this is necessarily a trope but I can’t fucking stand OOC. Literally it means you’re just writing an entirely different character and slapping the fandom names on them. Like ??? I came here to read about Bellatrix and Hermione or Carmilla and Laura or Clarke and Lexa. Not some entirely different character with their names slapped on and calling it “fanfiction”. Especially if it happens in an AU, then it’s not even close to anything resembling fanfiction because it has nothing to do with the original work at all, defeating the whole idea of fandom. 

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

Supercorp. Clexa. Hollstein. Jori. Bellatrix/Hermione/Fleur. Hermione/Ginny. 

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

I don’t enjoy making characters suffer per se. But probably Bella back when I wrote Bella/Alice Twilight fanfiction lmao. Angsty teenage days and all that probably played a part. And Bellamione thrives on suffering and angst, let’s be honest. 

Y: A character you want to protect.

Hermione Granger. Y’all can catch these hands. (Also Laura Hollis because the Carmilla fandom really irritates the shit out of me.)

Time for me to shut the fuck up, hope that answered all the questions you had well enough lmao. I talk too much some times. Woopsie. 

that essay I promised...

I will admit there are many good things and interesting concepts in the new book Tigerheart’s Shadow, and while there are many technical flaws, objectively speaking there are probably worse special editions out there. However…that being said I can’t help but admit that this may be one of my least favorite warriors books to date. All because of one very special thing: The protagonist. If you are willing to join me on this long journey of exploring the borderline irrational depths of my seething hatred for this fictional one dimensional tiger-clone, feel free to proceed, but be warned it is very long and unorganized. (as usual)

Keep reading

dragonpressgraphics  asked:

i'm gonna be cliche (sorry) DCJ - prompt : I'm Pregnant . Sorry, i seem to have forgotten what number it was and the screen disappeared when i clicked on this, oops. i think it was mid twenties? but the number isn't important, right?

“I’m Pregnant” 

“Ow fuck!” Dean pulls his hand free of the engine and glares at the blood oozing from the fresh cut on the knuckle of his middle finger.  It looks extra bright against the grease smearing his skin.

His glare shifts to the car he’s working on.  The damn thing has bitten him a few times, and in his head he’s started referring to the old Plymouth as Christine.  

“You okay?” Bobby asks from the open door to the shop’s main office.  

Dean straightens from under the car’s hood and pulls a rag from his back pocket, but realizes using it to clean the cut wouldn’t do much good since it’s filthy.  So he tucks it back in his pocket and heads for the sink at the back of the shop and turns on the water.  Bobby joins him as he starts scrubbing his skin with soap that makes the cut on his knuckle sting.

If it stings, the germs are dying, right?

He doesn’t look up from his hands when he speaks.  “What’s up, Bobby?  Did you need me for something?”  Because there’s enough noise in both the shop and the office that Bobby wouldn’t have heard him cussing over a cut finger, so he must have been there to witness it.

Sure enough, Bobby holds up a thick white envelope.  “You got mail.”

Dean freezes and eyes the envelope.  “Oh.  Uh… leave it there.” He gestures to the counter next to the sink with his chin.  “I’ll look at it when I’m done with Christine.”

Bobby gives him a skeptical look.  The envelope is unremarkable, but Bobby would have seen the return address, which means he knows at least part of Dean’s secret.  But at least Bobby doesn’t prod him for more information.  He drops the envelope on the counter, and pats Dean on the shoulder.  The gesture is accompanied by a kind look, and then Bobby leaves him alone.

Very deliberately, Dean finishes washing his hands, and takes a close look at the cut.  It’s still slowly oozing blood but it doesn’t look like it needs stitches, so he grabs a clean rag and wraps it around the wound.  Finally he lets his eyes fall on the envelope. 

It was pristine white until Bobby smudged it with his fingerprints.  Even working in the office it’s impossible to keep grease-free hands.

He wants to tear the envelope open and find out what it says right away, but his stomach twists with anxiety and he’s afraid to even touch it.  The letter inside it is going to change his life, one way or another.  He’s not sure he’s ready.  Once he reads it, he’s going to have to talk to Jimmy and Castiel about it, and they might not be happy with him for not telling them about it in advance. 

It’s shitty to spring something like this on them.  Especially since his life isn’t the only one that might change because of the contents of that envelope.

So he procrastinates as long as he can, finishing work on Christine, then hanging around the shop a little longer doing paperwork that he usually leaves for Bobby.  At least until Bobby chases him out.  He’s tempted to take a longer route home, but he’s not a complete coward so he drives to the house he’s shared with his husbands.

But he goes the speed limit, and not a mile over.

Castiel’s truck is parked next to Jimmy’s Continental in the driveway, and for once Dean isn’t irritated that they’re blocking him from getting into the garage.  He’s far too engrossed in talking himself out of a mild panic attack.  He pulls up at the curb, and drags his feet on his way into the house.

The envelope is a thick bulge in his back pocket, unopened.

When he opens the door he’s engulfed in the scent of Jimmy’s curry, and the guitar riffs of Metallica’s Black Album.  Castiel’s ruffled dark hair is visible over the back of the couch, and when he hears the door he sits up straight and grins.

“Dean, welcome home!” Castiel bounds up from the couch and into Dean’s arms.  He’s still in his scrubs, so he must not have been home too long.

“Heya, Cas.” Dean nuzzles the curls behind Castiel’s ear and holds him close.  The heat and strength of his husband doesn’t ease his tension as it usually does, because his mind keeps going through all the different ways Castiel might react to the news.

Their greeting alerts Jimmy to Dean’s arrival, and Jimmy appears from the kitchen.  He’s wearing a Kiss the Cook apron that Dean bought him as a joke when they first started living together, and his face is flushed from working over the hot stove.  Castiel releases Dean and steps aside so that Jimmy can have his turn.

“Jimmy,” Dean says on a sigh.  He leans into his other husband and inhales the spices lingering on his skin and hair.

He’s only legally married to Castiel, but the matching rings on their fingers and the devotion they all have for each other transcend a sheet of paper with a fancy stamp and a judge’s signature.  Besides, even if poly marriages were legal, the twins wouldn’t be allowed to marry each other.  So they made their own marriage, and the years they’ve been together have been some of the happiest of Dean’s life.

He just hopes the news hiding inside the envelope in his pocket doesn’t mess it up.

“You’re just in time,” Jimmy says when he steps back.  His hands still rest on Dean’s waist, and personal space be damned.  Both twins crowd him, something that took him time to get used to, but now he loves because too much space usually means someone’s upset about something.  “Dinner’s ready.  Come help me set the table.”

The three of them work together to set the table and set out the rice and fried veggies and curry chicken.  Normally Dean would dig right in to the mouth watering meal, but his stomach is still twisting with worry.  He doesn’t quite pick at his food, but he shows slightly better manners than usual. 

The brothers notice, both of them looking at him curiously, but neither says anything.  Not at first anyway.  It’s not until Dean declines seconds that Jimmy finally crosses his arms on the table and leans forward to catch Dean’s gaze.

“Okay, what’s up with you?” he demands in a tone that says he doesn’t expect any bullshit.  “You’ve been quiet, and you act like you don’t love my cooking, and if you tell me that I added too much paprika, my feelings are going to totally be hurt.”

Castiel joins in on the inquisition, but his voice is gentle, as is the hand he rubs over Dean’s knee under the table.  “Did something happen at work?”

Dean sucks in a deep breath, and let’s it out in a sigh.  “Sort of.”  He hasn’t opened the envelope yet, but work is where he received it, so he’s not exactly lying even though he hasn’t opened it yet.

They watch him silently, their eyes expectant.  Shit.

“Dean?” Castiel prompts when he remains silent.

Because he’s an asshole, he says the first thing that comes to mind.  “I’m pregnant.”

So is the silence in the room as they stare at him in confusion, their heads tilted at the exact same angle, which makes him grin.

“Um, Dean.  Sweetheart.” Jimmy reaches across the table and rests his hand over Dean’s.  “You’re very pretty in panties, but you know you’re a man right?  You’re not equipped for pregnancy.”

“Unless you’ve been keeping something from us,” Castiel adds.

The laugh building up in Dean’s chest collapses, and his shoulders sink.  He pulls his hand free of Jimmy’s and reaches into his pocket for the envelope, dropping it on the table between the plates and serving dishes.  It’s crumpled from being folded in his pocket, and has even more greasy fingerprints smeared across it.

But the KU logo is clearly visible through the grimy fingerprints.

Identical pairs of blue eyes go wide, but Castiel is the first to reach for the envelope.  He turns it over in his hands, and looks up at Dean when he sees that it’s still sealed.  “You applied for college?”

“Yeah,” Dean murmurs.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jimmy asks.

Dean squirms in his chair.  “I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  And if I get in, I’ll have to cut down my hours at the shop and I don’t want to make things harder on you guys, so I’m not sure I’ll even-“

“Oh yes you fucking will,” Castiel growls.  He holds the unopened envelope to Dean.  “I think I can speak for both of us when I say that you’re an idiot if you don’t think we’ll support you through this.”

“What he said,” Jimmy adds.

Heat suffuses Dean’s cheeks under their reproachful glares.  Even though he’s only a year younger than them, he feels like he’s being scolded by older brothers.  Which should probably be weird since the three of them fuck each other almost daily, but since that also includes them fucking each other, it’s not nearly as weird to him as anyone else might find it.

Sheepishly he accepts the envelope and stares down at the KU logo.  He can feel the weight of his husbands’ stares, but they remain silent and let him go at his own pace.  Which is one of the things he loves about them.  And they’re right that he was being stupid by worrying about their reaction. 

So he takes the plunge, and rips the envelope open.  Inside is a fat bundle of paper, which he assumes is a good sign, but he holds his breath until he reads the cover letter.  As the news sinks in, a grin spreads across his face.

“Well?” Castiel demands when he doesn’t say anything.

Dean’s laugh is shaky with the threat of tears, but they’re from happiness and relief.  He passes the letter to Castiel, who brightens almost as soon as his eyes fall on the words on the page.  “Well,” he says, when Castiel passes the letter on to Jimmy.  “I guess I’d better talk to Bobby about those shorter hours.”

The legs of two chairs scrape across the floor, and then Dean is at the bottom of a pile of Novaks.  They’re laughing and congratulating him, and promising to give him all the support he needs, and Dean thinks not for the first time, that he’s a very lucky bastard to have them in his life.

Ryden + the internet
  • *a little ryden moment happens*
  • The internet: Ryan was kneeling in the bathtub, a towel under his knees and another under his hands, his head turned as he craned his neck to watch Brendon working. The younger boy swirled the spoon around in the over-large bowl before tapping it against the rim and laying it on the counter. "You know it'll cool down a little once I get it in the bag, but is that good?" Brendon bent over next to the tub so Ryan could slowly dip two fingers into the bowl, nodding once.
  • "It's fine."
  • Brendon nodded again, reaching out to stroke Ryan's hair before standing back up and returning to the sink, where all of the equipment was spread out. The hook was already hanging from the shower curtain so Brendon could hang the bag as soon as it was full. "Go ahead and take the plug out, baby." His voice was soft, gentle. "And start with your fingers."
  • It was the gentlest of their "darker" interludes. No name-calling or hair pulling or punishments for noises of pain. It hurt enough on it's own, was degrading enough on it's own, Brendon didn't need to add anything to that.
  • Brendon felt a small tremor run through his body as he heard the soft moan coming from the bathtub, knew the other boy had just extracted the plug. He glanced up at the mirror, watching the boy set the glass plug on the edge of the tub next to the bottle of lubricant. Ryan picked up the bottle, desperate to fill himself as he opened it, dripping some of the lubricant onto his fingers and rubbing them. It was cold to the initial touch, but warmed up as his fingers moved.
  • "You're so fucking hot like that, baby," Brendon purred, from the sink where the bag was nearly half full. "Now, go ahead."
  • Ryan flushed warm from the compliment, his wrist sliding down along his waist, hipbone, the curve of his ass. And then his fingers were poised, resting against his entrance before pressing in. He was already loose from the plug so it was an easy intrusion. He didn't even bother with more lubricant before pressing a third finger in, moaning outright at the stretch. He started as he heard the click from Brendon hanging the bag. "Already?"
  • "Don't sound so disappointed," the boy chided softly. "You can keep your fingers in for a second." He almost added a soft 'slut', but stopped himself. Brendon leaned down, reaching for the bottle of lubricant, letting himself hover over Ryan for a moment, his breath tickling the back of the boy's neck. "Just think about everything I'll do after," he whispered before straightening back up and slicking lube across the tip of the nozzle and his own fingers. "Okay."
  • Ryan whined, but slowly pulled his fingers out anyway. He wasn't empty for longer than a few seconds, Brendon's fingers immediately sliding over his opening before pressing in, then pulling out to press in the tip of the nozzle. "Breathe," he murmured, fingers running down the boy's spine. "I'm going to now, okay?"
  • "Wait," Ryan choked out.
  • "I'm going to now," Brendon repeated, voice a little harder this time. "You're fine." He kept his fingers running along the boy's spine as he loosened the clamp.
  • Ryan bit his bottom lip, moaning as he felt the first rush of the warm milk sliding into his body. The beginning of the enema was always like Brendon's fingers were now, smooth and soft almost. The cramps would come soon enough, but Brendon's fingers would still be the same.
  • When they started, one of Ryan's hands flew up to his stomach and Brendon stopped the flow without a word, letting the other boy massage his abdomen to ease the pain. "Just tell me."
  • "Okay," Ryan whispered, his hand still on his stomach. Brendon loosed the clamp again and Ryan felt the warmth continuing to enter his body. He continued to try to massage away the dull ache of the cramps as he felt his stomach slowly begin to expand from the amount of liquid he'd taken. "Stop," he choked out again. He wasn't supposed to ask how much, but he was desperate to know. He'd felt like he'd taken half already, but he knew it was probably more like a quarter of the bag. "Bren?" he asked, voice close to cracking. "I-I . . . Brenny." His voice was weak.
  • "You're doing great, baby." The boy leaned down, letting soft kisses feather along Ryan's lower back. "So good."
  • The tears were starting to build up. Ryan could feel them in his chest, waiting there, another ache in his body. "I don't . . . I . . ." He let his head fall forward, trying to slow his breathing, trying to focus on Brendon's fingers instead of the liquid inside him. "Okay," he whispered,voice cracking as the first tears slid down his cheeks.
  • The flow continued and Brendon slowed the flow without a say so after five minutes or so. "You're taking it so well, Ry," he cooed. "You've got half." He usually didn't tell Ryan how much he'd taken, but it had been awhile since they'd done this and he didn't want the boy to break before he managed to get both quarts in.
  • "Half?" Ryan asked, voice timid, as if he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disconcerted.
  • "Mhmmm." Brendon leaned forward, letting his lips kiss the back of Ryan's neck, then between the boy's shoulder blades. "Are you ready for more?" When Ryan hesitated, Brendon squeezed his hip. "You can take it, baby. You've done this before."
  • Ryan's head nodded a fraction of an inch, his breathing already labored. He gave a small squeak as the milk started slipping into his body again. "Please, please, I can't." He shook his head, the tears coming out for real now. Brendon clamped the nozzle again. "I can't, Bren, please. I . . . I need to . . . please."
  • The younger boy reached his hand down to Ryan's stomach, the curve of a belly that wasn't there usually. "I know you can take this," he said, voice low but not angry or disappointed. "I know you can, Ry." He let their fingertips brush. "But I won't make you," he added. "It's up to you."
  • Ryan hated that. It would have been so much easier to go along with it if Brendon hadn't give him the choice. Now it was up to him to decide if he wanted to be selfish and disappoint his boyfriend and not get rewarded or just go along with it and deal with the pain. "I'll try," he mumbled weakly, squeezing his eyes shit and biting his bottom lip between his teeth as he felt the flow again.
  • Brendon slipped his hand down Ryan's stomach to wrap around his cock, gently stroking, trying to turn the whimpers that the older boy was now making into moans. "So good, baby," he kept whispering over and over. "You're taking it so good."
  • "H-Hurts," Ryan choked out. "Break?"
  • Brendon locked the clamp again, letting Ryan rub at his stomach and try to catch his breath. "It's almost all in," he said gently, still stroking the other boy's erection. "Just a little bit more. I know you can take it, Ry."
  • "How much?"
  • The question hung heavy in the air for a moment. Ryan wasn't supposed to ask and he knew it, but he also knew Brendon never spanked him or punished him during an enema, so the worst possibility was simply that the other boy wouldn't tell him.
  • "Probably four ounces," Brendon answered finally. "I'm going to start it again, okay? You can take this all in one go."
  • Ryan nodded, gritting his teeth and counting silently in his head, hoping it wouldn't take longer than a minute to finish. He was only a few seconds over when the flow stop and Brendon planted a kiss to the small of Ryan's back. "I'm going to switch it out for the plug, okay? Keep it in."
  • Ryan tightened his muscles, his toes curling as he did so. It hurt, tensing up along with the dull ache in his abdomen. Even with all his tightening, a little bit of the milk/water mixture escaped, sliding down the inside of his thigh. Then the plug was in and he could relax his muscles, but only somewhat. Brendon picked up a washcloth and wiped at the liquid that had slid down Ryan's skin.
  • It wouldn't be too long, Ryan knew, but it always seemed an eternity. Five minutes or ten minutes could feel like hours. Brendon's fingers slid up Ryan's back until they were twisted, gently, in his hair. "I can't wait to get you on the bed," he said thickly, voice low and gravely. "Gonna shove my tongue in you so deep, baby."
  • Ryan moaned outright, despite the dull pain in his muscles and stomach. It was a low moan, soft, but a moan nonetheless, and Brendon smiled at the sound. "Is that what you want?" the younger boy continued in the same tone. "You want my tongue in you, want me fucking your ass with my mouth? You're going to taste so fucking good, baby." His fingers tightened slightly in Ryan's hair. Not enough to cause any pain, just enough to make the boy gasp, then moan again. "Then I'll fuck you. So hard, baby, so God damn hard. So deep inside you. And then you'll take my come in your pretty mouth."
  • Ryan was whimpering, his hips moving ever so slightly, squirming. "P-Please?" he choked out. "Please?" He was begging for release. He knew it hadn't been long enough, but if Brendon kept it up, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in.
  • "I think you can hold it for another couple of minutes." But Brendon let go of Ryan's hair and sat back slightly, just letting his hands run slowly up the boy's sides. The older boy was quiet, just a few whimpers leaving his mouth, but still squirming. Brendon let his hands slip lower until he was firmly squeezing Ryan's ass in both hands. "Almost, baby. Almost."
  • There was another minute or so, Brendon's fingers skimming over the curve of Ryan's cheeks and the older boy trying not to lose anything, trying to keep his muscles tensed just enough. "Okay." Brendon stood up, slowly, kissing Ryan on the back of the neck before stepping out of the tub. "Slowly," he warned the boy. "Don't lose anything, okay?" He held his hands out, letting Ryan take them as he stood and gingerly climbed out of the tub.
  • Brendon lifted up the lid of the toilet seat and helped Ryan to sit. This was always when Ryan started to cry again. He hated it, hated how Brendon was there for the release. So humiliating, worse than threats of letting Spencer watch or having Pete fuck him that one time while Brendon took Polaroids. "Please, just . . . I can," Ryan said. "I'm fine. I can."
  • Brendon looked stern, frowning, shaking his head slightly. "Stop."
  • Ryan cried harder, bringing his hands up to push at Brendon when the boy moved closer, but too submissive to actually to do it as the boy reached between his legs, fingers closing around the end of the plug. "Please," Ryan whispered again. "Please, Bren."
  • The boy ignored him. "Don't let it go until I tell you to." He let Ryan's face fall into his shoulder. The boy was shaking from his choked sobs as Brendon slowly pulled the plug out. He set it on the counter next to the bowl he had mixed the milk and water in. One arm came up around Ryan. Despite his tears, the boy was still clenching, tighter than probably necessary. "Okay, go ahead."
  • Ryan shook his head. "No." He cried harder when Brendon pressed his lips against the boy's temple. "Please."
  • "Ryan. Now."
  • The boy was still crying, clinging desperately to Brendon as the first drops of the mixture began to slip out. And then, like always, he realized he really had no choice and just let go, sobbing harder as he heard the liquid falling into the toilet. For Brendon's part, he just held the boy, fingers running down his back, cooing soft sentiments to him. "Good boy, good job, Ry."
  • Finally the noises slowed and Brendon took a step back, letting Ryan wipe and flush the toilet. They both washed their hands in the sink and Ryan blew his nose. "I'm sorry," he whispered, refusing to look at Brendon. "I . . . I didn't mean to . . . I know you won't hurt me."
  • Brendon's cool fingers, still slightly wet from the water, slid under Ryan's chin, tilting the boy's face up to meet his eyes. "Thank you," he returned, leaning in and kissing him, soft at first, then harder, tongue slipping in. "Bed now," he added, unable to contain his smile as he felt Ryan's lips curve upward against his.
  • They walked out to the hotel bedroom area and Brendon nodded silently, indicating Ryan should assume the position on the bed. "Back or . . . or knees?"
  • "Knees if they're not too sore."
  • Ryan would take a lot more than sore knees for a rimjob, as he'd clearly demonstrated, so Brendon nodded his approval as the boy got on all fours on the bed. Ryan kept his head facing forward, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder and watch Brendon. The younger boy loved that, how he didn't have to order the boy do it. Ryan obeyed the unspoken command of his own accord.
  • The bed sunk down as Brendon knelt behind Ryan, hands squeezing the boy's hips. Brendon leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Ryan's entrance, smiling when he heard the moan. His mouth opened, tongue slipping out, licking in broad, even strokes, knowing it would do nothing but tease Ryan, torturing him. And, truthfully, it was all Ryan could do to keep from pressing his ass back on Brendon's face while begging 'more more more'.
  • Brendon sat up and leaned forward, pressing two fingers to Ryan's lips. The boy sucked them into his mouth without a word, his tongue sliding around the digits, trying not to get overeager, trying not to just beg Brendon to fuck him and start grinding his hips into the bed. When Brendon pulled his fingers from the boy's mouth, he leaned in for the kiss, smiling as he swallowed the moan from the intrusion of his fingers entering Ryan's hole while they were still kissing.
  • Then his mouth was gone and Ryan's fingers twisted in the bed sheets knowing what was coming, the muscles in his body tensing in anticipation. Brendon's fingers pulled slowly, evenly, opening Ryan up just enough to slip his tongue in, licking around the edge of Ryan's entrance. He licked over his own fingers as he slowly added another digit from each hand, pulling Ryan more open, exposing him more. His tongue slipped in deeper and Ryan tried so hard not to push his ass back on Brendon's face.
  • The younger boy's tongue started dipping in and out, slow and first, then quicker. Ryan was moaning, head thrown back, hips barely rocking. Brendon pulled his tongue out and his fingers, letting his lips press against the hole that was still open to the air. He began to suck and Ryan let out a stream of expletives that Brendon had never heard before. He let up on the pressure, his tongue slipping back inside once more, teasing, pulling out to trace around the inside.
  • "Fuck me?" Ryan asked, voice high-pitched and uncertain.
  • Brendon pulled off almost immediately, but didn't straighten up yet, pressing two fingers into Ryan abruptly, smirking at the boy's gasp. He slowly twisted them. "You want me to fuck you?" he asked as if he hadn't heard, voice casual.
  • "Please, Brenny," the older boy returned desperately, pressing back against the fingers, his head falling into the pillows as he collapsed on his arms, support following to his elbows.
  • The fingers slipped out and Brendon helped turned Ryan to his back, kissing him softly on the mouth, enjoying Ryan's tongue probing his mouth curiously, searching for the taste. He pulled away after a moment and the older boy gave an airy sort of sigh. Then he was between Ryan's legs, bending them at the knee and separating them, settling between the thighs before he pushed in, no lubricant and no warning.
  • Ryan made a low noise in the back of his throat at the burn, the stretch. He'd been waiting for this. Brendon hadn't fucked him for a week, not properly. Toys and fingers and a fist, but not this. So simple, just them. Nothing artificial. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck, leaning up to kiss his neck. They looked like any other couple just then, he mused. No one would have been able to look at this scene and guess that Ryan had just been given a two quart enema or that the other day he'd been made to stand in the corner for an hour after Brendon had spanked him fifty times with a hairbrush.
  • Brendon could tell Ryan was thinking and he angled his hips, shoving in roughly. When Ryan's eyes popped open even wider and he let out the tiny squeak, he knew he'd found the spot. All semblance of thought seemed to evaporate from Ryan's features as he just gave in and starting rocking against Brendon's hips, moaning. He reached for his boyfriend's hand, pressing the palm against his throat. "Please," he whispered.
  • Brendon didn't need to be told twice, squeezing down on Ryan's neck, releasing after a moment to let him gasp for breath. Then his hand tightened again and they repeated the pattern until his boyfriend started shaking his head, not wanting to use the safe word, but wanting Brendon to know he'd had enough. His hand fisted in Ryan's hair then, squeezing tight enough to hurt, but not hard enough to pull the hair out. "Touch yourself," Brendon breathed.
  • Ryan obeyed immediately, one of his hands falling from Brendon's neck to slip between them, wrapping around the base of his cock, stroking in a slow rhythm that contrasted with the thrusts. He didn't want to come yet, but he knew he didn't have a choice anyway. He'd come when Brendon told him. That was the rule.
  • "Faster," Brendon growled, shifting his weight so he could press in deeper. "I want you close, Ry. Tell me when you're close."
  • The boy nodded, quickening the speed of wrist obediently, letting his eyes shut for a moment before he opened them back up. Brendon liked to watch him, said he could see Ryan melt through his eyes when they were in bed. He felt the hand tighten in his hair slightly and he stopped moving. "Close," he choked out.
  • Brendon smiled, letting Ryan wonder if he was going to have to hold it, have to wait, have to worry if he could. But it was late and they had to be up in six hours. "When you feel me come, you can," he said, nipping Ryan's bottom lip between his teeth. The thrusts got impossibly harder after that, but only for a moment.
  • Brendon bit the inside of his cheek to keep from yelling as he felt himself explode and then Ryan's wrist was flying as he moaned, low and whorish. Brendon could feel Ryan's come hit his stomach as the older boy started swearing, his ass clenching down on Brendon's cock as his orgasm tore through him, leaving him breathless and gasping for air.
  • Ryan collapsed prematurely, still feeling his orgasm rocking through him, but unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to think. And then he felt Brendon pull out, leaving him empty and loose. He whimpered at the loss, turning and pressing his face into the boy's chest as he laid down beside Ryan in the bed.
  • Brendon's arms came up, feeling Ryan's body trembling. "Baby, baby," he murmured. "Shhh. It's all right." He kissed the boy's temple, fingertips gently massaging feeling back into Ryan's muscles. "We're going to sleep now, okay? Early morning."
  • Ryan whimpered, nodding, wondering if he'd be able to walk properly the next day. "Brenny?"
  • "Yeah, baby?"
  • "I love you."
  • "I love you, too, Ry." Brendon waited until he'd stopped shaking before he got up to turn out the lights and set the alarm on his phone. Then he crawled back into bed and held Ryan until he fall asleep before he got up to clean the bathroom and put the equipment back in their suitcase. He was only going to be running on two hours of sleep the next day, but it had been worth it.

anonymous asked:

I'm gonna be honest I had to come to your blog for some reassurance that "feel bad for all femmes that are into butches" thing wasn't actually hatred because I've seen so much vitriol thrown at butches over the last couple years that my kneejerk reaction is to assume even something playful like that is hate. I'm glad it wasn't, but ugh I wish my brain hadn't been conditioned to assume that of people.

I think the couple of nasty comments I got actually come out of a couple things, and I’m glad you said this, because I think it’s something, we, as a people, need to talk about

(When I use ‘you’ in the context of this talk I mean ‘all y’all’ not you specifically) 

1. The point you made–People are so used to butch lesbians being attacked that there’s a knee-jerk desire to protec and attac. I UNDERSTAND THIS INTIMATELY, TRUST. 

2. You’re not gonna like this one–the second factor is a pretty uncharitable lack of reading comprehension. Not just in my post, i see this all the time, but I’ve read my post several times now, because I do in fact have a very aggressive communication style, and sometimes I come off TOTALLY wrong. But I think it’s tough to read what I said and take it as anything other than poking fun at how oblivious butches are about flirting, and how we as femmes end up hilariously tossing ourselves at them. 

3. Tumblr’s really really terrible pattern and impulse of seeing a post, looking at the reblogs and comments for something that pisses them off, and popping off about it devoid of any context. One person, that I had never seen in my life, reblogged it, directly from me, with the addition “Feel sorry for yourself, ugly” (which, hilariously, actually that was what I was doing, yes, I do, rest assured I have been this femme writing notes about coogne and hope you get the message) (It was deleted quickly because I assume they flipped over to my blog and figured out they made a mistake) 

Oh of raw curiosity, I went to my blog and searched ‘butch’ for the posts that come up not involving this. First was a huge fanfic, where you would have seen it used positively BUT NO ONE BLAMES ANYONE FOR NOT GOING THERE, but the next two were these: 

my (butch) friend E: I drank Hershey’s syrup out of the bottle as a kid.
me: I drank soy sauce.
my buddy D: there it is folks, the butch- femme dynamic.

Reasons my butch is crying:

today in the Buffalo Bill museum she felt sad that the buffalo no longer freely roam the Plains

Literally a 2 minute search could have told you this was probably being interpreted in an uncharitable way, but we don’t do that on tumblr, we shoot first and ask questions later, and that’s how stuff gets blown up to ridiculous proportions. Maybe don’t flybynight on blogs of people you don’t know and assume the worst of them. It does not take a lot of time to search key terms (my blog even has dates when you search! So you can see that maybe what I thought 3 years ago isn’t what I think now!) 

I really want all of my followers to read this, and think about this next time you want to pop off. 

It is important to be thoughtful in our criticisms, because these things are important, and popping off and crying wolf makes them look silly. 

Thoughtful literally just means sit and think about it. Check your facts. Stop reblogging stuff blindly. Please, for the love of God, Harumichi, chicken strips, whatever you need to swear to, stop and think to yourself: 

  • Am I reading what they really said? Is there another way to read this?
  • What does the rest of their blog indicate about this? Does this maybe ask a personal context I don’t have? 
  • Is this actually a big deal that requires a stranger’s intervention? –picking your battles is literally one of the hardest things to learn to do.
  • If I am unwilling to put my name to a criticism, do I truly believe it’s worth defending? Do I have the courage of my convictions? 
  • If a news story/scholarly thing: Let me google this really fast) PLEASE DO THIS BEFORE YOU REBLOG SHIT EVEN WITHOUT COMMENTARY OH MY GOD. (If I see that anime was a mistake thing passed around again, when he never fucking said that, I am…gonna lose it)  

I think you’ll find in general your experiences on tumblr are more positive and less anxiety prone if you just take on a little bit of this responsibility. For example me: I have a major major major major issue with people removing Tracer’s CA for art. It sucks. It’s disability erasure because her CA interferes with outfits or some dumb reason. When i see it, I go to a person’s blog, i check art tags, i try to figure out as much as I can before I speak to them about it ALWAYS UNDER MY ACTUAL NAME. 

It’s been largely positive! Not always, but often! (Actually its mostly the wide scale rebloggers/content ~curators~ who are really really terrible about this no matter how many times I message them and if it didn’t violate my own personal understanding of lashon hara I would absolutely at them and post about it ahah)

Anyway, you don’t have to agree with me, but I think it’s valuable to sit and think about these things, before you act. Sometimes I just take a walk! I’m impulsive as fuck and I need to not have access to answer for a few minutes. 

IN conclusion: I love butch lesbians, I think tumblr really needs to work on open communication