i feel like it's not complete without a quote

My Favourite Funny Sam Winchester Quotes

TDatta said:

So get this. The popular consensus among the SPN audience is that Dean is the funnier brother. Pop culture references, physical comedy, general clowning about, Dean and humour are a marriage made in heaven. Crowley, in his infinite wisdom, insists that Sam is more basic, more sincere. He is. But it wouldn’t do to overlook the fact that Sam also says the darnedest things sometimes. With the straightest faces. He has such a gift for the deadpan, you see. I’ve got to hand it to the writers of the show. They make me crack up real hard. And sometimes, Sam ends up being funny without even intending to be so. All of this results in some pretty quotable quotes. And apparently, I have a thing for making lists about things on which several lists have already been made. So here’s one more, in celebration of Sam Winchester’s subtle, but effective funniness. There were too many funny lines to choose from in some seasons and too slim pickings in others. Off the top of my head, I’ve picked 10 funny Sam quotes from the ten seasons respectively and also my personal reactions to them. He’s sassy and blunt in most, adorably innocent in some, and clueless in the others:

1. ‘You smell like a toilet.’ – Sam to Dean in Pilot.
Me: Things to tell your brother after he fell out of a bridge and then dragged himself out of a dirty river.

2. ‘Well you are kind of butch. They probably think you are overcompensating.’- Sam to Dean in Playthings.
Me: Burn! That’s for all the girl jokes.
3. ‘I lost my shoe.’ - Sam to Dean in Bad Day at Black Rock.
Me: *can’t speak, brain liquefied with the force of cute*

4. ‘Did you try turning it off and then on?…Okay, go and turn it off…No, no, no. No. Just off. Alright, give it a second…Turn it back on…Okay is it…is it printing now? Great. Anytime.’- Sam Wesson on the phone to random person calling Tech Support in It’s A Terrible Life.
Me: Press the vampire bobble head on your desk with a pencil Sam…now let it go…press it down again…try striking it from the side…press down once more for good luck…let it go again…Okay, was it bobbing? Great. Anytime.

5. ‘Should I honk?’ - Sam as Impala to Dean after he finishes yelling for Gabriel in Changing Channels.
Me: WTF Sammy! You’re an honest to god car now and you still gotta sass?

6. ‘Third kind already? You better run man. I think the fourth kind is the butt thing.’- Soulless Sam on the phone to Dean who’s attempting to escape a probable alien abduction in Clap Your Hands If You Believe.
Me: (shakes finger at Sam) Your obsession with ‘probing’ needs to be analyzed in depth. For science.

7. ‘Are you gonna look up more anime or are you strictly into Dick now?’- Sam to Dean in Time After Time.
Me: Wordplay alert! But seriously, thanks for not saying ‘cartoon smut’ again.

8. ‘You rode a farty donkey.’ & ‘I’m gonna follow the hotel manager Dr. Scowley-scowl. He’s like a villain from Scooby Doo.’- Sam to Dean in The Great Escapist.
Me: Are you hearing yourself right now Sam? Wait. You’re sick from the trials and so out of it all. I’m sorry for laughing at you baby.

9. ‘You’re not the only one who’s ever dated someone bendy.’- Sam to Dean in The Purge.
Me: Was that before or after you found out about Lisa?

10. ‘I’m lactose intolerant, so.’- Sam to Beverly in Ask Jeeves.
Me: Things to tell your hosts at dinner when you don’t want their cheese.

And that’s done folks. A regular Sam Winchester laugh-a-thon over the years. But no post on Sam being funny can be complete without writing about his various facial expressions, gestures and body language. In fact Sam has the unique ability to induce  humour with a single eyebrow raise or that thing he does by curling his lips in the equivalent of a shrug or his famous ’bitchface’. Nonverbal communication skills at its best, I say. Bottom line is that Sam Winchester can be plenty funny as well.

P.S. - I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface when it comes to favourite Sam quotes. 

but once you’ve anticipated spending your life with someone, i’m not convinced you can ever feel complete after being uncoupled…i think you just learn to live without the person. like when someone dies, you don’t stop loving them just because they aren’t around to love you back anymore. the hitch though, is that even when you have reached acceptance, you can sometimes regress so quickly, its scary
—  Daria Snadowsky

I can’t get over the fact that it seems like there are two types of feminists:

1. Feminists who claim, and I quote “ Feminism isn’t FOR you. We don’t fucking WANT you.”

2. Feminists who want so badly to represent trans issues that they’ll completely take over the discourse and fucking bulldoze over any trans person who tries to ask them to back off.

I mean, this is obviously a generalization, but its how it feels a lot of the time. Either they’re so invested in our issues that they take over the dialog without actually listening to trans people, or they desperately want trans people to have nothing to do with the movement.

And people still ask why I don’t call myself a feminist anymore.