i feel like im worth something sometimes

  • teru: i'm not GAY i love girls! i love when they pay attention to me and give me compliments and make me feel like im actually worth something and give me the sense of security in my identity that i crave every day... haha love girls!
  • teru: im totally perfectly mentally healthy! its just that sometimes i just get horrible thoughts about myself for no reason for a period of weeks and after that i sort of wish i was never born, but thats just because im an awful human being!!! haha mental illness who?
  • teru: i definitely dont hate myself im actually way too overconfident and sometimes i feel like i deserve the world even though im just a commoner and probably worth less than trash because im a horrible person for thinking that probably haha oh well.

jinpout  asked:

jin~~ so im in my last year of uni (yay) and i feel like i've lost motivation, what do you do when things get hard? ㅠㅠ thank you :')

When things get hard, it’s important to remind yourself why you’re doing what you do. Sometimes that will remind you why you’re so passionate about your major and what your goals are! You’re working towards something important to you and it’ll all be worth it!! You have one year and you’re out of there!

I’m rooting for you~! You’re smart, kind, and beautiful~! Please continue to work towards your dreams~!! 화이팅~~!  ❤︎

Binge

I need to start thinking of binging as a bad thing
When I feel like binging I think of all the happy thoughts I NEED TO THINK OF THE NEGATIVES…..

1. The obvious number one awful/negative reason to not binge— I feel so terribly sick afterwards like (death) I can’t move, my stomach hurts so bad, im so bloated! sometimes get acid reflux (probably bc I overfill my stomach) messes up my bowels for the next few days…

2. It’s a set back from weight loss goals!!! A major set back each binge sets me back a week and half!!!!!!!!

3. The money you spend on binge floods you eat them so fast spending 30 dollars for a hours worth of food is ridiculous!!!!!!! You could be buying a new make up palette,cute dress, or saving for something more expensive!

4. The fact that it’s not good for your health the binge foods and quantity have to be building up fat in your arteries, etc

5. The emotional toll. You feel awful about yourself the whole next week. And you are bitchy to everyone else tooo! Plus you can’t ️workout for the next couple days ️bc your so bloated moving hurts!!!

6. You can’t have a healthy relationship with another person while you are binging… So deal with it now while you are alone

7. It’s not a healthy relationship with food (I don’t have one anyways butt…I would love to learn how to have just a treat meal and not a binge)

pizzathrust  asked:

im entp and i love learning and school. the procrastination comes in when it's something im uninterested in, and sometimes things just disappear from my mind and i get side tracked

Yeah I know where you’re coming from. I feel like a lot of ENTPs procrastinate, I do at least. And it’s a big problem. Sometimes I just don’t bother to touch homework and stuff like that, hell I’m doing that right now. I get really lazy and just put things off to the last minute if i don’t want to do them. Sometimes I even convince myself that it’s not important enough, or it’s not worth the effort. On the other hand, sometimes I go into a speed working trance. I’d put 100% effort into something like someone pressed my power boost button. That happens rarely. It’s a real problem.

2

hey, i wanted to say some stuff relating to this publicly, so i screen shot-ed it to keep you anonymous, hope thats ok.

over the years ive seen a huge increase in positive trans visibility, and its so important and beautiful. there are so many trans people out there who are doing great things and loving being trans.
although i dont wanna be a fire extinguisher on the brightly burning flame of pride and positivity im just gonna be honest and say that i really do not like being trans, i wish i was cis, but im just gonna have to deal with it, cause really i have no other option.
know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do. not all trans people love it and not all trans people have their gender seen and understood.

i tried so hard for years to try to just be a girl, i knew that i had really extreme disphoria and i just kept making excuses to myself that kept me in denial about what i was really experiencing which meant that i wasnt able to do anything to try help myself feel better when i deep down knew i was trans but was realllly trying not to be. i had a girlfriend who i loved and who i lived with, and i felt so guilty for not being able to just be a girl for her (my own issue - not a result of her expectations), it lead to me being really emotionally withdrawn and it meant that sex just felt bad for me cause i was trying so hard to just be a girl, that i never was never just like ‘i cant have sex is these certain ways, i dont like to be touched here or in this way etc etc’. when we broke up i had major freak outs cause i knew that i had to face my truth and reality, which was so hard and painful but worth it.
i know that this story is kinda going off topic from what you were talking about but my point is that things can change, not in a 'it gets better’ way, but a it-gets-realer way. like things that you once couldnt deal with become things that help you in a positive way. i still have alot of trouble with things (especially dysphoria) but i feel a million times more about to deal and make to the most of it than i did 7 years ago. i’ve worn a binder everyday for 5 years now, and although i cannot fucking wait for top surgery and i daily feel so depressed about it the thing is i feel so much better daily than i did before i started wearing one.

the truth is pretty much all cis people dont really get it, even the queer ones. its hard. it can make you feel really lonely, misunderstood and just fed up with people in general but i promise you that there will be people who understand and see you, and those friendships/relationships/connections will give you so much life.
before i started hormones i would just lie in bed and stare at the wall hating everything so much, and although i am in no way “transitioned” or passing, i feel so much better in myself now that im on them (i still hate alot of things at time to time, just not as much). transitioning is a lonnnnng path, that can sometimes lead to know where particular but hey, it can be a path out of hell, so although the flames and pain still lick at you and wear you down theres also a creek you can relax in by youself and some pretty flowers along the way. what im trying to say is that the shit show might not really end but its not all bad, life has really good moments, its definitely not worth dying over and killing or hurting yourself over. like think of all the amazing songs that exist and the ways they make you feel, and think of all the beautiful things like city skylines at night or the taste of pizza, dont under estimate it, that shit is actually worth living for. be depressed, write the saddest poetry, cry into a bowl of icecream, feel lonely, just live your life, even if it sux. dont become a statistic. also wanna know something: shitty situations inspire brilliant solutions.

sometimes when im really blue cause of dysphoria stuff or other struggles that come with being trans i imagine this: that someone is like “hey samuel, you get to pick a prize. prize A is that you will wake up and be a cis boy, ill even make you a cute one but the catch is that you cant create anything ever again - you cant pick your clothes or take photos or write stories or make films or design your bedroom, you cant even daydream of the things you wanna create. prize B is that you get to create whatever you want but you have to put in all the hard work and make it happen, and theres no guarantee that it’ll even be good or that anyone else will care and the catch is that you just have to be trans forever. so which do you choose?”
and im like “finnnneeeee, you got me, i have to pick prize B, cause actually that’ll make me the happiest”.
like theres so many things that are more important in my life than feeling ok about my body and theres so many feelings i feel that are not just heart break and frustration. and theres so many friendships and interactions i have where it doesnt actually matter if i know if someone understands those things about me cause theres other things that are important and special that i know they understand.