i feel like i'm tagging anyone since they don't have last names

anonymous asked:

Hi, I don't know if you're accepting any more prompts rn or what but I'm feeling super super super low and I hate my exams, I hate studying and I used to love it and I feel like I'm stuck and there's no way out and idk, I don't see myself getting out of my family's grasp and going anywhere and I was going through my tags and your works make me so happy, so if you could, drarry/linny but which boosts morale? And maybe makes me want to study I'd give anything for that. Thanks for reading my rant♥♥

I am always taking prompts (I can’t always get to them for awhile but I do my best).  I’m so sorry you’re struggling and I know sometimes when you’re in a tight space it can feel as if it will stay that way forever but I hope you’re feeling a little better now and I want you to know that one small thing can always change our lives in unexpected ways. Have hope and stay strong.  And I hope this can cheer you up even in the smallest of ways.


Harry fiddles with the book in his lap, unable to focus on studying with the sounds of exasperation and stress coming out of Malfoy’s mouth as he studies.  It has been on the tip of Harry’s tongue to ask if he is alright, or needs a break, for the last two hours but every time he thinks he’s made up to his mind and starts to make even the smallest noise Draco just looks up from his book and shoots Harry a death glare.

He knows Draco is nervous for the exams beginning tomorrow, knows he wants to do well.  And yet he can’t for the life of him fathom how Draco, because it was definitely Draco now, has changed so much in the last twenty four hours.  The softness, the openness, the biting humor and hints of kindness are gone.  Draco has been snapping at him all week but in the last day he’d become so tense Harry can’t even look at him without incurring his wrath.

“Draco-”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“I don’t care, I don’t have time for this.  Just zip it I will hex you into next week.”  Harry snorts in disbelief earning himself a look that would send anyone else running from the room.

Making up his mind, Harry slams his book shut and patters across the room to sit on the edge of Draco’s bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight.  “I’m not scared of you.”

“Wonderful.  A lifetime of work thrown away all because of a few measly kisses.”

“Oh I don’t know if I would call them that, you weren’t that bad of a kisser.”

And that’s it, he’s done it, broken Draco’s trance as Draco looks up at him a look of annoyance on his face, but there’s something else there too even if Harry isn’t entirely sure what.  “I am a fucking superb kisser, Potter, and don’t you forget it.”

Harry drops his hand, unable to hide his own shock as he stares at the other boy.  “When would I get a chance to forget?”

Draco looks decidedly uncomfortable as he coughs, picking his book back up off the bed and refusing to look at Harry again.  “After…just after exams.  When we leave.”

“What are you talking about?”

Draco slams his book shut with much more force than necessary, the sound echoing loudly in the small room like the aftershocks of a curse.  “I. Heard. You.  Last week.  Telling Weasley about the job offers.  My god Potter half of England’s Quidditch teams want you to play for them and an open invitation to the Aurors….you’ve got your pick of the future you want.  Which by the way I’m clearly not a part of since you didn’t mention any of them to me.”

Harry swallows down his guilt at hiding the offers, not wanting to admit that talking about the future was exactly what Harry didn’t want to do but for entirely different reasons.  He doesn’t want to confess that the idea of leaving Hogwarts terrifies him, that he has no idea what he wants to do, that he doesn’t feel ready to be an adult.  After a lifetime of feeling responsible for the world Harry wants nothing more than to fuck away from all responsibility, not forever, but for a little while longer.

“That’s what I thought,” Draco mumbles, misinterpreting Harry’s silence.  His icy tone cuts through Harry’s thoughts like a knife.

“I didn’t tell you because I’m not taking them.”

“What do you mean you’re not taking them?  Which one?” 

Draco sounds as scandalized as Harry had expected.  He shrugs, as if turning down multiple career opportunities is nothing.  “None of them.”

“What the bloody fuck is wrong with you, Potter?”

Harry steels himself, summoning his courage and knowing this conversation will reveal far more than he was prepared, but knowing with a sort of certainty that he feels about nothing else that it is the right thing to do.

“Because…because I’m tired of it.  All of it.  I love flying, god I love flying, but I don’t want to be watched anymore.  I couldn’t stand all those people watching and cheering and hoping for a victory with my name on their lips.  And the Aurors can all go fuck themselves if they think I want to spend the rest of my life chasing down Dark Wizards.”  He pasues, unable to look at Draco’s face but taking courage in the cold hand that reaches out to hold his own.  “Fuck, Draco, I know you’re mad because you didn’t get any job offers and you should have because you’re brilliant and determined and you’ve worked hard to prove yourself and I’m sorry everyone else doesn’t see that yet, but one day they will…..but for now….I think just this once maybe the Wizarding World can just go fuck themselves.”

At this Draco laughs, it starts out small as if Draco doesn’t even mean to but when Harry looks up at him, Draco’s lips are curled into his mouth as he bites on them trying to contain his laughter.  It makes Harry feel strong in a way he isn’t used too.  He squeezes Draco’s hand and continues.

“I was gonna wait…until after exams but I was thinking about, well about fucking off.  I don’t even know where to.  Gods we can go anywhere..America, France, I don’t care you can pick just please come with me.”

“Yes.”

Harry looks up, his mouth falling open in shock because he’d expected to have a lot more convincing to do.  But Draco is just smiling at him, and it makes something in Harry break because he wants to hold on to that memory forever.

“Really?  Yes?”

Draco rolls his eyes, but there is a fondness in them.  “Did you really think I’d say no to trotting around the globe with my ridiculously fit boyfriend living the life of leisure and having sex whenever I please?”

“Oh, well when you put it that way,” Harry whispers, moving to his knees and crawling across the bed until he’s straddling Draco’s lap, knocking his book to the floor in the process.  If Draco notices he doesn’t say anything.

“So this boyfriend of yours?  Do you think….do you think you love him?” Harry whispers, his fingers brushing across Draco’s cheek.

“The word is so quiet Harry almost misses it.  “Yes.”

This time its Harry who laughs, feeling a sort of delirious happiness bubbling up inside of him that makes him dizzy.   “S’good…because he loves you too.”

nessaelanesse  asked:

Hey, I'm really sorry to bother you and I hope I'm not out of line but I just read your newest post about your stomach and I'm curious... Do you have any idea what's wrong? See, I've got something similar and for the last year and a half I've been living on rice, chicken and the few veggies that don't make me sick. I've lost a third of my original weight, but all the doctors I've gone too have no idea what's wrong! Which is why I'm asking. I hope I'm not out of line and I wish you the best day!!

Not a damn clue. My diagnosis currently ranges from “you’re overweight try losing weight” (no longer valid since I dropped fucking 20lbs in a month and likely wasn’t valid for most of my symptoms to begin with) it’s “just” IBS (a chronic condition unto itself which too few people including doctors seem to realize and dismiss as non life impacting simply because it’s “common”) leaky gut caused by allergies (previously thought to be celiac but repeatedly tested negative for) chronic GERD (somewhat more under control than it was to the point when I am off my meds which worsened the other symptoms) vocal chord dysfunction (previously misdiagnosed as asthma which before that was misdiagnosed as purely anxiety when in fact the reason I was panicking was because I couldn’t breathe) “it’s just anxiety” (which yes I have anxiety, but I’ve realized a LOT of it was being caused by allergies causing a near constant adrenaline response so that was fun. Nice to know I was on sedatives as a teenager because no one bothered to listen to me when I said eating XYZ hurt), hormonal problems (despite my hormones always being “normal”), and last but not least “I mean, it could be fibromyalgia or an autoimmune disease, your symptoms are kind of hard to pin down”. That latter part being a direct quote from a doctor. 

I’ve also had severe issues with my teeth, which since I have switched to a holistic dentist, have largely been resolved. (Still in pain, but every time he does something my health bounces up a notch so it’s a process I’ll be working with him toward fixing over the next few years. He even suspects I might have been getting mercury poisoning from some seriously dangerously over the limit leaking amalgam fillings I got in my early teens. He’s also the only dentist willing to remove my root canal teeth because they’ve never fully healed.)

So. Yea. I have some of my own possible theories that it might be SIBO which many doctors here in the US seem reluctant to even admit is a real thing (my current dr certainly doesn’t and will not test for it despite it being an easy culture test to do) and some possible genetic fuckery/immune system bullshit. Both my parents are extremely ill people with very similar issues, my dad even has an autoimmune disease he doesn’t care enough to even remember the name of so I can’t just narrow the field and test directly for that. Thanks dad.

The difference between me and them is I am actively trying to get a diagnosis and claw some semblance of health/sanity back before I turn into a hermit resigned to dying young. 

A big thing for me seems to be allergies/intolerances which have sprung up in the last few years. (Rice is the first thing doctors recommend for eating “plain” food but it’s actually a huge trigger food for a LOT of people) Eating only organic seems to have helped (suggesting a preservative allergy, which my allergist just kind of said “I believe you, but there’s no reliable test for it so just…don’t eat them”) 

Which is where you find me at now, two years down the rabbit hole of trying to get an accurate diagnosis. As for asking questions, it’s entirely okay to ask questions. I’ve pretty much wound up documenting my chronic health issues because a) it was helping me to keep track of things and then b) my blog got popular due to shenanigans and then a bunch of other people started going “HEY ME TOO” and we’ve created a sort of exhausted support group for each other and also c) the number of people who message me on a daily basis to tell me it helps them to know they are not alone is just…I’ve cried twice today at some of the messages I’ve gotten, and at the time of typing this it’s not even noon. 

I do not mind being public with any of this because gods help me if someone can figure out some small puzzle piece of their life from me falling apart then in some small way it will be worth it. Cause I know what that feeling is like. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Chronic health issues are so incredibly isolating.

So yea…next step I’m off to see a natruopathic/functional medicine doctor (yes I made sure they are licensed physicians and not just crazy hippies) in the hopes that she might have some answers for me, or is at least willing to listen to me, which uh, yeah, the more you refuse to accept suffering to be your way of life, many doctor’s don’t seem to appreciate. I had my GI doctor tell me I shouldn’t google my symptoms and just accept the fact that the meds he prescribed for the chronic GERD would dissolve my intestines which, hahahahah, ha. No. I do not accept that. Not even a little bit.

anonymous asked:

Okay so this may seem a bit silly but I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions. You (very successfully, damn you) pulled me into Ziam (and made me both love and hate this band all over again because why do they do this my feels are struggling). But now theres all this payneton stuff on my dash and I want to check it out, but not because of Ziam and do you think its legit or just some wave from the fandom?

You know people keep telling me that there’s Liam/Jordan stuff everywhere and I literally have yet to see anything pop up randomly on my dash. I’ve had one post sent to me, but in terms of trying to wrap my head around it. I’m not seeing much. Maybe I just haven’t taken a proper look at my dash or got distracted going through my ‘sao dogs’ tag (I LOVE DOGS IF YOU DO TOO CLICK ON THAT LINK…SO MANY DOGS…SO MANY LOLS…SO MANY HAPPY TEARS). 

Sorry I started thinking about pugs and got distracted. Goddamn I love them. With their snuffling and snoring. Have you seen that youtube video called ‘Pug gets scolded, takes it hard’? If not get thee to youtube. 

Ok what were you asking? Oh yeah. Ummm. I’m working on a ‘Definition of a Bro Tattoo Part II’ as it pertains to Ziam. They are seriously more hardcore than Larry when it comes to tattoos. Zayn’s about one tattoo away from getting ‘I LOVE LIAM’ tattooed on his forehead. Unless you’ve looked into Muslim marriage tattoos then it won’t be obvious what they’re saying, but that madala and rose was basically Ziam’s way of saying 

I’ll explain it all in due time. Like after I’ve had more coffee. 

I was very opposed to talking about Jordan Paynton because coming from a sports background myself and knowing people who work in athletic management, certain sports are far more homophobic than others and initially I felt that he was being lined up to be outed against his will. HOWEVER, there was no way for me to say this when I first got wind of it the other day without drawing more attention to it, and now that it’s out there I can’t very well shut down an entire conversation myself. 

I also started looking into it a bit more last night and Jordan Paynton is still in university. He’s currently a 5th draft recruit (apparently) who has a business degree and a clothing line (I think?). I don’t know if people are familiar with NCAA rules, or why you would expect that an Oxbridge graduate would be, but I am. Don’t worry about why. 

Jordan Paynton cannot accept any fiscal rewards for playing football as a university student. Nor can he appear in commercials, drive around free cars, or get endorsements like NFL players. If you were looking to raise your personal profile as someone who cannot do so as an athlete, how could you? Aligning yourself with one of the biggest boy bands in the world could help. Last I checked Jordan had about 4,000 followers on Twitter. Liam as 22 MILLION. And his tweet to Jordan was literally one of two things he tweeted in the entire month of January. 

Now, I don’t know why and I’m not going to sit here guessing and try to pass it off to everyone as fact. As always I am just trying to point out some details about these shady ass situations because it’s quite baffling and talkin it out is how I can start to connect the dots. 

I would imagine that getting people used to the idea of Liam dating a man is at least part of this. Remember Xander? How quickly people went from assuming Harry was dating every girl he hung out with to dating every man he hung out with was one of the most low-key and kind of smartest ways I’ve seen a narrative shift in which Harry liking men was just all of a sudden accepted as fact to most people. 

The fact that people couldn’t even breathe the word Ziam without being laughed at a couple of months ago but now all of a sudden it’s become the main discourse that Liam might like men (just not Zayn! Anyone but Zayn.) makes me feel like whoever is running this show isn’t as moronic as I thought. Evil genius is probably going too far. Evil for sure, though.   

I’ll be keeping my eye on all the stories that are happening on the periphery as there is literally no reason for this to be such a big deal. As always. Like, where’s Harry? He’s been MIA since arriving in LA. All this smokescreening is making my asthma act up. So excuse me while I suck on this blue inhaler and try to figure out wtf is going on. 

Thank you for your question which I have completely (probably) provided an irrelevant answer to, but just wanted to get some of my thoughts out there xx

My one little problem with Pretty Little Liars.

I understand straight away that not everyone is going to agree with me on this point, but it is something I wanted to talk about and address. Feel free to challenge me on any of my points, I am always open to other’s opinions. 

Yes, my problem is with regards to one, Paige McCullers.

Why? Paige means a lot to me, more than I can describe in a few written words, but that’s another point altogether. My problem relies on the characterisation of Paige, a character who has real-life flaws, a character who had been tormented and also played the role of the tormentor, a character who has made mistake after mistake but yet overcame them, a character who is courageous, brave and valiant and a character who has loved selflessly and has been loved wholly in return. Paige McCullers is a character who is not perfect. I would even go as far to say Paige withholds the most real-to-life values, decisions and actions on the entire show ultimately highlighting her role as the outlier amongst all the other characters in Rosewood, it is this that is most likely a contributing source of her hatred amongst fans. But unfortunately every inch of her being has been ripped down and torn apart ever since she disappeared off our TV screens, and honestly that really bothers me. Paige, ever since season one has championed, been victorious and experienced exponential character growth episode on episode. Once Paige had overcame her own demons she spent her time pouring every inch of her soul into protecting Emily Fields; running into the forest whilst on the verge of a panic attack, facing her worst tormentor eye to eye, always there waiting on the side-lines for the one she loves most, to name but a few of her defining moments. But that doesn’t exist anymore, her character has vanished and taken such wonderful development with her.

What happened, writers?

Keep reading