i feel like i'm making up words now

Ok I didn’t want to create a discussion but I feel like I really need to say this because it really makes my throat tie up. There have been a tendency to fling around the word “pedophile” towards people in fandom lately, and not in an appropriate way. Now pedophile is meant to mean a sexually developed person being attracted to someone that is not (prepubescent), but I’ve seen the word exclusively used at 20+ year olds people dating 17-18 year olds, or sometimes even teens at 18-19 for dating people two years their junior. These people claim they are trying to “protect the kids” by using this word like a slur, even though they’re often aware they are using it incorrectly.

Why do people use this word even though it’s fundamentally not at all what their cause is representing? For the same reason people bring up the holocaust or Hitler trying to win arguments - because it’s an incredibly negatively loaded word that just about everyone is sure to recognize as such, and they are trying to win points by pulling at the emotions associated with it rather than the actual facts of the situation.

Does it matter? YES. By misusing a word like this you trivialize VERY REAL child sexual abuse. An older teen is sexually mature and can initiate and even force these relationships of their own accord. A teen can be a sexual predator towards younger and older people. A child have not yet developed these urges or interests and would never ever take part of these activities willingly. While there can be a definite power imbalance at play with a late teen/adult turning it into an abusive relationship, it is not the same as the kind of fear that is used to keep a child silent about something they never wanted to be a part of. It is disgusting, is triggering, and it is disturbing to see these two being acknowledged as the same thing.

“So should you not use the word at all?” Uh, yes of course you can, in a situation where it’s actually applicable. You should however not use it in a way that makes is seem like any less than what it is, which is a blatant projection of power wherein one party is always forced into it with threats of hurt or rejection from their loved ones or something else fueled out of desperation.

Hello, I’m here for some McValidation;
I got a B (84.80%) on my final grade in health class and someone kept telling me I was gunna fail the class so jokes on them, I don’t suck 😎😎😎

your hands;
a slow burn under my stomach
growing unbearable
uncomfortably warm, it itches
but my hands are tied up in yours

and you did make me feel beautiful
you said it over and over
spitting the murmurs out like sugar pills
until I started to sink into the words
taking them as gospel
from the lips of a goddess

I crave feeling needed
and it seemed like you really required
the warmth of my breath
and the iciness that always accompanies my fingertips
to bring your own heart to beating
but I should have seen how soundly you slept without me

you were my sunshine
you were my golden everything
that coated the world in a rosy hue
and promised only the best times ahead
you were heaven to behold
and I was luckless Lucifer

but I no longer see myself as helpless
nor you as the savior I waited for
for you are a storm, a poison to my system
wrapped up in the sweetest of smiles
and for the toxins we carried on our tongues and fed each other quietly
the only antidote is time

—  See, Someday I Won’t Belong to You (December 20)
The Other Side Of The Door

Simon and Baz get into a fight. It is short lived. They definitely make up. (Also there’s kissing.) (I’m bad at summaries.)

Oh, there’s a lot of cursing in this. Not magical cursing. Swear word cursing.

Also, this one is a bit longer! (1011 words)

It is also on  ao3

Simon doesn’t miss his magic all the time. In fact, most of the time he feels free of a burden more so than anything else. But then he wants to go outside - to get some Aero Bars, or walk to the park down the street, or just get some fucking fresh air for a change - and realizes he can’t because Penny isn’t home and Baz is off at University and won’t be back for another week and he can’t go outside without one of them spelling his wings and tail.

Of course he couldn’t think to spell them away permanently himself before he went and gave all his magic up to save the world. He was too busy - you know - saving the fucking world.

So Simon is stuck in his (and Penelope’s) flat, alone, with no chocolate. He’s too busy sulking to hear the door open and his boyfriend walk in, just in time to hear him curse, “Crowley, I am so fucking useless.”

He startles when a voice replies from the doorway, “Snow, you’re a lot of things, but useless is not one of them.”

Normally it would be easy for Simon to listen to Baz, let the words calm him and take him back down to a normal level. But he’s been stuck in this house for two days driving himself mad not being able to do anything. Feeling trapped and, yeah, useless.

Simon is too stuck in his own misery to do anything but fight back. Hard. He jumps to his feet and turns to face the boy still standing in the doorway. He feels the heat rising in his body, knows his cheeks and ears are covered in red. He’s seen the same on Baz’s face enough times to know this must be what it feels like.

“And what would you know about it, Basilton? Do you even know what this feels like? Being completely trapped somewhere, unable to leave, completely stuck in your own head, going fucking stir-crazy-out-of-your-fucking-mind? I’m fucking useless. I can’t do anything on my own. I need you or Penny to even walk through that door.” Simon can see his words hit Baz; a clear punch to the gut.

“Do you even hear yourself, Snow?” Baz spits back, venom lacing his words. The red from Simon’s face is now mirrored his boyfriend’s. “You’re so fucking selfish. Do you even think before you come up with this shit?”

Instead of waiting for an answer, Baz turns to leave, slamming the door behind him.

Simon sits back down on the couch, still fuming, then realizes he’s too worked up to just sit there. He starts pacing around the flat; he gets a glass of water in the kitchen to help cool himself off, then makes his way into the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face - because the glass he drank was definitely not enough, then goes into his bedroom.

The dresser next to his bed is full of Baz’s clothes, so he avoids opening it. Actually, Baz’s clothes are scattered through all of his drawers…and his closet…so he’s probably better off avoiding changing his clothes altogether. Instead he lays down on Baz’s side of the bed, curls himself into a ball, and tries to force down the angry tears threatening to spill over.

Simon must fall asleep at some point because the next time he opens his eyes, the room seems reasonably darker. Suddenly it hits him. Shit. Numpties.

He doesn’t even think twice, just runs out the front door of the flat and trips over something in the hallway.

“Ouch, Snow. Don’t you look where you’re going?” Baz is sitting against the wall next to the door, looking at Simon, who is now sprawled out on the floor. There’s not a trace of a smile anywhere on Baz’s face which worries him. Normally he would find some humor in Simon tripping over things. Simon really fucked up.

“Baz? I didn’t think- I was just- I-”

Baz stands up as Simon continues to fumble for words. “Let’s just go back inside before someone sees you.”

Simon reaches across his shoulder as if to remind himself of what started this in the first place. He hadn’t even thought twice about it when he was fighting with Baz. He follows his boyfriend back in and leans against the back of the couch.

They both speak at the same time
“I’m sorry-”
“I’m sorry-”

Before Baz can continue, Simon cuts in, “You have nothing to be sorry for. I was an asshole. I wasn’t even thinking when I said that. I had no right. I’m so sorry.” He’s having a harder time holding back his tears now. The number of emotions he has dealt with in the past two hours is overwhelming his system.

“It’s okay, Simon.” Baz walks over and puts a hand on his shoulder. Simon lets his head drop, but Baz lifts it back up with a finger until their gazes meet. “And I do have something to be sorry for.”

“You don’t, I-”

“Shh.” Baz puts a finger over Simon’s lips. “You are not selfish. You are the most unselfish person I know. You gave up all of your magic to save the world. I never should have said that and I’m sorry I did.”

“I’m such an ass,” Simon whispers.

A few tears slip past Simon’s defenses. Baz wipes them away immediately and pulls Simon’s lips to his. Simon melts into it, letting everything he is feeling seep out of him, letting Baz take it all away. The kiss is slow and deep and full of forgiveness.

Eventually Simon pulls away, remembering something.

“Wait, you’re here. Why are you here?”

“I knew Penelope was gone and I figured you’d be going stir crazy, so I made the trip. I guess I took too long.”

“You stayed.”

“You came outside.”

“I wasn’t thinking about myself. I was thinking about you. How I needed to see you. I didn’t care who saw me.”

Baz leans in to kiss him again.

Because loving you was too much.
—  Too much pain where we didn’t see it. Like those times I made you cry and didn’t stop you. I let the tears flow freely into my pens and I write about it now. Because loving you was too much and I didn’t know where we’d end up. Too much salt in my eyes, I’m bloodshot. There’s plenty of poetry in this blog, but there’s still emptiness in my warm heart. I found a love that makes miles feel short. I found a love that makes words feel soothing to my veins. Injected her into every blood cell, but even that burns a little too much like a stove we left on by accident. I found a love and it may be a bit much, but I’m still here for the ride. It’s a lonely one, this life of ours. When you see a smile that’s precious leave your side, you’ll understand my metaphors and why the wolves tend to howl at the uncaring moon. There’s trust issues in those tiny yelps for help.