i feel like i was born for this i am here for this i was born to live this moment

DPR facts / profile
  • “Dream Perfect Regime (DPR) is an independent, multigenre, music and video group. We create, direct, and edit all types of visual work as well as curate artists stemming fro a wide array of musical backgrounds and influences. Based in Seoul, our primary focus is to engage viewers by producing a unique and dynamic experience of both visual and audio output”.
  • DPR started with no major backing nor any financial support.
  • They might release some merch soon.
  • According to Chris, they all gather together to watch reaction videos.

CHRISTIAN YU

  • His Korean name is 유바롬 (Yoo/Yu Barom).
  • He used to be known as Rome.
  • He was born on September 6th, 1990.
  • He was born in Sydney, Australia.
  • He speaks both English and Korean.
  • He moved to Korean when he was 18.
  • He is 174cm.
  • He is good at B-boying.
  • He used to be a member and the leader of the K-pop group C-Clonw. On October 5th, 2015 the group was disolved.
  • He debuted on July 19th, 2012.
  • He likes football and surf.
  • He has a dog named Choco.
  • He collects professional cameras.
  • He plays the drums since he was young. He used to be in a band and really liked Heavy Metal.
  • He is the founder of DPR.
  • He is the director and chief editor in DPR.
  • He directed Mino’s debut MV.
  • He has a dog named Lori.
  • His favourite colour is green (he said this on an IGLive and it might change with time).
  • He likes the songs “Diamonds” by Tory Lanez and “Have You Seen That Girl” by GoldLink.
  • He grew up surfing and likes to keep doing it when he goes to Australia.
  • He likes women who are passionate about what they do.
  • His favourite cologne is Giorgio Armani.
  • He is friends with BTOB’s Peniel and B.A.P’s Zelo.

DPR LIVE

  • His real name is 홍다빈 (Hong DaBin).
  • He was born in January 1st, 1993.
  • He was bon in Korea.
  • When he was 5 years old he moved to Guam.
  • He is about 169cm.
  • He is a rapper.
  • His most popular song is “Eung Freestyle”, featuring Punchnello, Owen Ovadoz, Sik-K and Flowsik.
  • He usually introduces his raps with the sentence “Coming to you Live!”.
  • His tagline “Coming to you Live!” is much like a live broadcaster reporting at the scene of a weather event to the viewers in real-time. This is related to the meaning of his artist name.
  • He didn’t take music seriously until he released “Till I Die” on his YouTube channel.
  • He wants to do his best in order to “give off the same lasting, meaningful impression a lot of artists that he admired, had on him. This kind of reflects hand-in-hand to why I ultimately chose my artist name to be LIVE”.
  • He came up with the name LIVE to remind himself of two motives: 1) ”to always LIVE LIFe in the present, both through ups&downs and through success&failures”; 2) “to always remain honest and true to one’s self and one’s craft”.
  • He is inspired by artists that create their own sound and colour.
  • He considers DPR his family.
  • He joined DPR around March 2015.
  • He likes the songs “Sacrifices” by Big Sean and “Colors” by Taylor Bennet.
  • His favourite song from “Coming To You Live” is “Right Here Right Now”. (He said this during an IGLive and he said that it was at the moment, so it might change).
  • He likes Skizzy Mars.
  • He is a dog person.
  • He spent half of his life in Guam and half in Korea.
  • He prefers rice over noodles.
  • He says that being told to choose between Christian or Scott is like choosing between mom and dad.
  • He used to listen to a lot of rock music and one of his favourite bands was Paramore.
  • He got the scar on his forehead when he was five years old after he banged his head on a metal thing.
  • When he was younger he didn’t like americano coffee, but nowadays he thinks it can give you a lot of energy.
  • He already did his military service.
  • He likes tall girls.
  • He said he will not make an Snapchat soon since Instagram and Twitter are overwhelming enough.
  • He is right-handed.
  • He is excited to watch SMTM6 because Dok2, Jay Park and Dean are on the show.
  • After coming to Korea, he worked at a Subway for a couple months.

CREAM

  • He is a producer.
  • He is a member of the duo LAYBACKSOUND.
  • He plays the piano.
  • He can sing, and he does some vocals in LAYBACKSOUND.
  • He doesn’t speak English, he understands and speaks a little, but he himself has said through IGLives that he is not very good.
  • His favourite song from the album “Coming To You Live” is “Laputa”.
  • He made tracks 1, 2, 4, 6 and 7 from the album “Coming To You Live”.
  • He likes video games.

CLINE

  • He likes video games.
  • He was born on the 29th April.
  • In one of their IGLives, Cream was teasing him about an Internet girlfriend.  I did not watch this myself, I only read a transcrip, so I am not sure what this all was about).

SCOTT

  • His name is Scott Kim.
  • He was born on 21st February.
  • He was born in the United States.
  • He is the production director (PD).
  • He is the one in charge of making the merch (according to DaBin they are currently working on it).
  • He gave DaBin a jacket as a present.

KANG GUN

  • He has a cat.
  • He is the assistant director.

JUNGMOO JUN

  • Has a son.
  • He was born on the 27th March.

Disclaimer: facts in italics are not confirmed or at least I haven’t seen any real proof. Feel free to let me know if there is any mistake.

Crds: IG@/dpr.fanpage & IG@/coolnightcrew

transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

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I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Eleven

Summary: Danneel calms you down after your panic about becoming a mother. You, Jared, and Gen explain your relationship to Tom and Shep before you fly out for Asylum.
Words: 5k
Jared x Reader x Gen, Danneel, Tom, Shep, JJ, Arrow, Zep, Jensen
Warnings: uncomfortable conversations, fluff
Beta: @blacksiren

IKYW Masterpost

Your name: submit What is this?

“What if I turn out like my mom?”

Danneel stared at you, unmoving, for what felt like an eternity.

Her expression was unreadable and, in that moment, you wanted to run away.

Keep reading

At some point a few years ago, I fell out of love with music. On tour, I’d stay in the darkness of my bunk all day until soundcheck, struggle to hold a conversation during meet & greets, then barely make it through the shows without counting down the minutes until they were over. At home, it wasn’t much different. I was apathetic toward the album we were making and toward my abilities as a songwriter, so I slept all day, drank all night, and distracted myself with new people who weren’t really even my friends. I lost the ability to care, and I lost the ability to feel anything. I didn’t love me, so why should you? It was the darkest period of my life. I planned a solo trip to Alaska with the intention of never making music again when I returned.

Thanks to fate intervening, the day before I left for Alaska I had a chance encounter with my longtime friend Matt Beckley. As the story goes, I ran into Matt at a cafe in Los Angeles, and he asked me to join him back at his new house to check out his studio and maybe write some music. (I’d like to think Matt’s extraordinary intuition knew I was in the darkest before the dawn phase). We went back to the house, opened a bottle of Stranahan’s, and didn’t write a single fucking note. Instead, we just sat around and talked about what we loved about music in the first place. Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams, The Gin Blossoms, Tom Petty, you know the rest. We talked about where we’d love to see music GO. We both wanted to move the needle and we both wanted to chase great in a world full of just good. As I was leaving that night, Matt said to me, “Go to Alaska and stop thinking about what you’re gonna do when you fail. Think about all the things you’re going to do when you win.’

That was the moment that DALES was born.

Over the next 2 years, Matt and I began writings songs together. A lot of songs. The best songs I’d ever written in my life. I was alive again. Writing with no destination, no business plan, and absolutely no fear. For the first time in a long time, I was making music simply because I loved it.

After a while, I decided that these songs were a different chapter of my life, a new story, and I put them away while The Summer Set finished Stories For Monday. Then that record came out and we went on tour. Then, unfortunately the darkness came back. I lost that fire in my soul I had finally just found again. So, I spent every minute I had when we weren’t on tour, locked in the studio at Matt’s house trying to feed the flame that gave me my love for music back.

Here we are now.

At this time, I have carefully decided that I don’t want to lose that spark anymore. It is in my best interest to follow my heart and dive head first into this new adventure. I want to finish these songs, play them live, and give the world the DALES record I think it needs to hear. The record I NEED to hear. I’m an all or nothing kinda guy and a terrible multi-tasker, so if I’m finally gonna do something…I want to give it everything I’ve got.

With that being said, unfortunately that means The Summer Set will not be making any records or touring plans indefinitely.

To John, Stephen, Jess, And Josh:
I have loved this journey every single step of the way. On my best days and on my worst days. From The Modified Arts to The Macy’s Day Parade. We put more miles on that old van than dollars we may ever have in our bank accounts. (I still can’t believe we sold that van to a church.) This has been, and may always be my greatest ride.

John and Stephen- It is no secret you guys are well on your way to becoming two of the best music producers I know. If you blink, you’ll realize you’re already there. I can’t wait to see what you guys do next, and I can only hope one day we find our way into the studio (or at least the makeshift one we made in your shared bedroom in North Hollywood) someday again.

Jess- Your drumming and your friendship are among the most sturdy and reliable things I may ever find in this lifetime. You’re my sister. We fight a lot (Literally, you once beat the hell out of me in a Taco Bell parking lot in the middle of Texas), but I love you. You already have more drum gigs lined up than you know what to do with, and I will be your biggest fan along side everything you do.

Josh- There are no words to describe how valuable you are to this band, and to me personally. That became abundantly clear when you actually left the band. We tried to make Stories For Monday without you, failed, threw in the towel, asked for your opinion on the new songs, you told us it was our best work yet, told us we HAD to put the album out, and we told you we couldn’t do it WITHOUT YOU. So you jumped back in, without hesitation. You are our rock. You are there when we need you. You are there when I need you. You’re there when ANYONE needs you. There’s a reason you’re the first person anyone calls when they need advice or they’re in trouble. I hope life in Nashville is everything you want it to be, where I am sure you will figure out how to balance being a hit songwriter AND a future mayor at the same time.

To The Fans: All I can say is thank you. I never in my wildest dreams thought this would last 10 years. You were there for me on my worst of days, and I’m sorry I wasn’t always there for you in return. You guys stood by our side during the awkward teenage years, through the terrible haircuts (which thankfully, you can still google!) through growing up, and most importantly…through the blood, sweat, and tears of four albums and more tours than I can count. I’ve seen places around the world I never thought I’d see, all because of you. There is no home quite like a room full of you guys screaming back the songs we made together. Make no mistake, that will live forever and never die.

As for me, I’m on a lifelong journey searching for the right and the real. To learn how to feel everything again. To learn how to love and be loved in return.
To fall back in love with music. I was born to write songs and be on stage and I can’t believe I almost gave that up. It’s my greatest magic trick.

Bruce Springsteen once said, “Everything dies baby, that’s a fact, but maybe everything that dies…someday comes back.“

See you soon,

Brian Dales

The Surprise

Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Loki x reader
Words: 2641
Warnings: SMUT and fluff
A/N: So here it is, guys! I saw that a lot of you wanted a fic inspired by this gif, so I decided to write something. 
If it’s your birthday when you’re reading this, have a very happy birthday! 
Please forgive all the grammar/spelling mistakes I’ve made. 
Hope you enjoy!

Tagging: @tearstainedashes , @pastapizzacheesedragon , @madman-with-a-snogbox , @fn-xo , @itsfangirlharu 



You were reading your favorite book while lying in the sweet embrace of your boyfriend, the God of Mischief, Loki.

Too caught in the story of the book you ignored Loki’s words. That was until he shook you gently and looked down at you.

“Just because that book is more interesting than me holding you in my arms, doesn’t mean that you should ignore me, love” he chuckled and you smiled back at him after you put the book down and turned around so you can look at him.

“Did you say something… I’m sorry, I did not hear you” you apologized and kissed the corner of his lips, softly.

“Yes. Just a reminder that your birthday is in two days, so I wanted to know if there is anything you want for your special day?” he asked while caressing your cheeks.

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Word Prompts // Death
  1. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
  2. “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
  3. “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”
  4. “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
  5. Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
  6. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”
  7. “It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”
  8. “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear.”
  9. “ We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”
  10. “Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life.”
  11. “I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.”
  12. “I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you.”
  13. “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
  14. Death must be so beautiful.”
  15. Death is for the dead.
  16. “ To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
  17. “ Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? “
  18. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
  19. “Even death has a heart.”
  20. “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.”
  21. “The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
  22. “I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, if I could have been assured that death would be my own.”
  23.  “ Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told.”
  24. “In that moment before I let go, I really had been contemplating my death. I’d come to terms with it and accepted it.
  25. “If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character…Would you slow down? Or speed up?”
  26. “Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.”
  27. “ Do you know where the wicked go after death?
  28. “When the self-congratulatory part of the evening is over, maybe we could get back to saving my best friend from being exsanguinated to death?
  29. “You only live twice: Once when you are born; And once when you look death in the face”
  30. “Every life has death and every light has shadow. Be content to stand in the light and let the shadow fall where it will.”
  31. “And O there are days in this life, worth life and worth death.
  32. “No. Even though I’m practically starving to death, he won’t even consider it.
  33. Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities.”
  34. “Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them.”
  35. Death is Peaceful, Life is Harder”
  36. “Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”
  37. “ There is no drinking after death.
  38. Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.”
  39. “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
  40. “Someone who thinks death is the scariest thing doesn’t know a thing about life.”
  41. “Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.”
  42. Death is no more than passing from one room into another.”
  43. “I am so far from being a pessimist…on the contrary, in spite of my scars, I am tickled to death at life.”
  44. “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”
  45. “People living deeply have no fear of death.
  46. “I don’t want to fade away, I want to flame away - I want my death to be an attraction, a spectacle, a mystery. A work of art.”
  47. “I just want to break that song into pieces and love them all to death.
  48. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive. Never surrender.”
  49. “ I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”
  50. “Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can.”
  51. “Fear not death for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal.”
  52. “I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself.”
  53. “I’m not afraid of death. It’s the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.”
  54. “Stupidity isn’t punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.”
  55. “Why do people want to pretend that death is sleep? It isn’t. It isn’t.”
  56. “So we drove on toward death through the cooling twilight.”
  57. “The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains.”
  58. “There are so many worse things than death. Not to be loved or not to be able to love: that is worse.”
“Why Did Bellamy Fall in Love with Clarke?”

So I recently got an anonymous message asking me this question and I was preparing myself to answer with the typical “because she’s supportive and he respects her and trusts her and blah blah blah” response which definitely isn’t WRONG, and are definitely reasons why I ship Bellarke, but I also feel like it goes a lot deeper than that. 

I haven’t written a good, solid meta in awhile, I feel like, and this question hit me really hard for some reason, so I am going to answer it separate from the ask in more depth. And, since I’m feeling extra, I’m probably going to make another post answering why Clarke fell in love with Bellamy because - yes - this ship goes both ways and I am sure as hell going to take every opportunity I get to prove that.

To start off, I don’t really think that there is one particular reason why Bellamy fell in love with Clarke. You can’t really go about it by saying “well, Bellamy really likes this trait and this trait and this trait - therefore, he loves Clarke because she encompasses all three” because I don’t think that’s really how love works. I do think that she has traits that Bellamy really likes and respects, and I think that’s how they became friends. But then he fell in love with her and it wasn’t just about those traits anymore. Because love isn’t selective. He doesn’t just love some parts of her and not the others. He loves Clarke as a whole, as a person. He loves all of her pieces and parts and fragments. He just loves her.

But why?

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Cooking Classes

Summary:  One day your Friend Steve shows up in your house asking you to teach him to cook.

Words: 3418 (Holly Cow.)

Paring: Steve x Reader

Warnings: There is a lot of music references in this, fuffly lots and lots of fuffly. A little angst and Smut ( Not safe sex and oral.)

A/n : Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta Ily ( you rock)

credits to the gif owners

Originally posted by evanslovely

You wake with loud knocks on your door, you look at the clock and it says it’s 4 pm. Who dares to wake you up in the middle of your nap? You get up from your couch cursing the soul that is on the other side of the door.

When you open the door all your anger disappears, on the other side you see Steve and you hate how good looking he looks at the moment. He is standing there in a dark blue sweater and some jeans looking amazing.

You realize that you are staring “Steve, what do I own you the pleasure?” He smiles at you entering you house “Well, I miss you.” He hugs you as he speaks “I am pretty sure you do, but what are you doing here?”

Keep reading

just-a-cute-little-kitty  asked:

I absolutely loved your Gods and Monsters stories!!! Your writing flows beautifully and it transmits feelings so well ❤ Are you considering writing anything about Zeus? They way you've retold the other myths is amazing, and now I'm curious about what you'd do with him :) Have a good day and thanks for sharing your stories with us!

Their hold loosens on the earth. Gods aren’t needed like they were before, their names are not chains like they were before. Some embrace this. Ares eagerly shakes off the power he’d never wanted, and Athena lets it pass through her hands like water, wise enough to know that attempting to hold onto it will only hurt her in end.

Some do not embrace this.

~

Demeter’s skin used to be dark.

It was the rich brown of potting soil, it was the fertile black earth that washed up from the Nile River. Her skin was deep, life-giving brown.

It’s not like that now.

It’s pale desert sand, cracks all along it like baked earth and tree roots searching for water that they can’t find. Her hair hangs thin and grey against her temple, and her dark eyes have turned milky.

She clings to her power over the earth by her fingertips, and she knows that she’s just delaying the inevitable. There’s no coming back from this, not really, the strings of her fate have long been woven. But she will not go quietly. The mortals may take the earth from her grasp, but she’s never been one to cross without consequences. She still isn’t.

Demeter goes to the sea. She hasn’t dared step foot in there since her birth, but now she has so little left to lose. The water’s barely to her knees before a wave rises up from the smooth ocean and drags her below.

Poseidon has long been absent from the sea, yet his palace stands as tall and imposing as ever. Because it was never really his palace, his kingdom, his power.

It was always hers.

“Well, well,” Amphitrite says, circling her with curious green eyes, “Time has not been kind to you, I see.”

“It has to you,” she says tightly. Amphitrite looks the same as Demeter saw her last, has aged even better the goddesses who shed their mantels of power the moment they became too heavy. Then again, Demeter expected nothing less. “I want to make a deal.”

“You have nothing I desire, Sister,” she says, smiling even though it feels like she’s mocking her.

Demeter almost laughs – oh, if they could see them now, if Hera or Hestia could see them now, see her now. How they would laugh, to see how low she has fallen. How they would shudder, to see the truth of what she is, what she has always been. “I have this.” She cuts open her chest and pulls out her heart – rich red, a heart that has not failed her, a heart that can feel love and pain and desire and fear and happiness.

“Sister,” she whispers, eyes wide, unconsciously moving away from her, “what are you–”

“I already know I don’t get to see how this ends,” she says, “I’m not someone he’s interested in saving and I’m certainly not someone she’s interested in saving. You have faired far better than me in that regard.”

Amphitrite’s hands are shaking. Demeter likes the way she’s gone impossibly pale, the fear in her eyes, the way she was so arrogant the moment before and know she isn’t. She has power over so little these days. She’ll take what she can get. “Give me your heart,” she says, “give me power over the sea, and I will grant you a heart with the capacity to feel all the emotions you are so fond of.”

The queen of the sea shakes her head, “Don’t do this, you don’t need to do this.”

“I am Gaia,” she says, hard, speaking a name she hasn’t used in a long, long time. “I am Mother Goddess to all, the first to walk this plain, and your elder sister. You will not deny me.” They call her Demeter. She was born Demeter. But she was something else, something far greater, before she risked it all to be born a lowly goddess. “I gambled, and I lost this game. But I will not go out without a fight.”

“You were second to walk this plain, technically,” Amphitrite says softly, eye lowered, showing vulnerability to Demeter that she wouldn’t show to anyone else. “Thinking this was a game was your first mistake. He never thought of it that way.”

She’s about to snap at her, then Amphitrite cuts open her chest and takes out her cold, dark heart. She slips her heart into her sister’s chest, and Demeter does the same, pushing her violently red heart into the darkness of Amphitrite’s chest.  Demeter feels what little grasp on humanity she’d managed to maintain drain away, leaving only a pit of heavy coldness along her spine. A pink flush comes to Amphitrite’s cheeks and a smile tugs on her lips, her eyes warming with the emotions she hasn’t been able to feel since Poseidon left her.

Demeter can feel the power of the current beneath her, the water eager and ready to do her bidding. “Use my heart well,” Demeter tells Amphitrite, Gaia tells her little sister, before using the water to carry her far from where her sister and heart remain.

She will die. But her heart will on, her little sister will live on, and that will have to be enough.

~

Demeter leaves the sea and climbs the steps to what remains of Mount Olympus.

Only Zeus remains, and all that remains of him is skin and bones and sunken eyes. He maintains authority over the skies even though it’s killing him. He’ll maintain authority over it until it kills him.

She needs that power.

She doesn’t care if it kills her.

“My king,” she murmurs, kneeling before his crumbling throne. Their once great pantheon lies around them, nothing left but rubble and ash.

He almost meets her eyes, copper skin now sallow and black hair now white. “She left,” he tells her, high pitched and something terrifying in the edges of his eyes, “She left me – she was never supposed to leave me.” He reaches out and grabs her shoulder, bony hand surprisingly strong, “I miss her.”

Demeter only has one thing left to trade for Zeus’s power.

“Give me what our mother Rhea gave you,” she says softly, “Give it to me, and I will stay on Olympus and you can go to her.”

“There must always be one on Olympus,” he tells her. She doesn’t think he recognizes her. “As long as I am on Olympus, we’ll be fine. He can’t do anything if I’m here, as long as one of us is here. I am here.” Tears leak from his eyes and drip down his face. He doesn’t wipe them away. “She’s not here. She was supposed to be here. I did not want to be alone. She – she was supposed to stay. As long as she stayed by my side, she would be safe. She’s not safe anymore.” His face crumples, the truest expression of grief she’s ever seen from him. “Her sons think they can protect her, but they can’t. They can’t even protect themselves. Only I could keep her safe! But she left. She’s not safe anymore.” Quieter now, “I wanted her to be safe.”

“Give it to me,” she repeats, firmer. She doesn’t have the time for his existential crisis over his missing wife, nor does she have the energy to pretend she cares. “What did mother give you, Zeus? What do I need to take?”

“You can’t take it!” he screeches, scrambling back and away from her. “You can’t have it! I need it! Mother gave it to me, said I had to keep it safe, said I had to stay on Olympus. You can’t have it!”

Demeter growls and grabs the front of his too-big robes, pulling him upright, getting ready to yell at him.

Then she sees it.

His eyes.

His eyes are young, are brown and beautiful. They are eyes that haven’t aged.

Those are not the eyes he was born with.

He fights her, but the heart of Amphitrite beats in her chest, but the strength of Mother Gaia remains in her limbs even now. She plucks his eyes from his head like grapes from a vine. She wonders how old he was when Rhea did this to him, when the woman who called herself mother tore out her son’s eyes and put these ones in instead.

“No!” he sobs, and his voice is clearer somehow, there’s more strength to him even as his face is soaked in blood. “Demeter, do not – it is not your burden to bear!”

“It is no burden,” she says eagerly, “it is a gift.”

She swallows them whole, each eye getting stuck in her throat and she has to force it down. They are part of her, and after a disorienting moment she sees the world as Zeus has seen it his whole life.

It’s no wonder at all he went mad. She’s almost impressed he lasted as long as he did.

It will drive her mad too, but she doesn’t care. She’ll be dead long before that can happen.

“What have you done?” Zeus asks in horror, “Demeter – please, they’re not meant for power, they’re meant to save us. To save us all.”

“I am not Demeter,” she says, and presses her hand to his head, using some of the power coursing through her veins to stop his bleeding, to save him from the swiftly approaching death. “You want her? Go to her. Nothing is stopping you now. And it’s no use trying to stop me.”

Less than an hour later, Zeus takes hobbling, slow steps down Mount Olympus. He doesn’t want to, wants to stay, wants to fight her, wants to take back what she stole, but he can’t. He has no power and no strength and no eyes.  

She sits on the abandoned, crumbling throne and curls her lips into a cruel grin.

She has dominion over earth, over water, and over air.

She will make these mortals beg for mercy before they kill her – Gaia, Mother to All, Earth Goddess.


 gods and monsters series, part xxii

read more of the gods and monsters series here

A Hundred Lesser Faces: (Five)

Notes from Mod Bonnie

  • This story stems from the premise: what if Voyager!Claire had gone first to Lallybroch instead of directly to the print shop in Edinburgh?

My own Jamie,

Almost six months ago, I learned that you survived Culloden. You made history, my darling! Q.E.D.

As many nights as I’ve lain awake in those months cursing myself for not having looked soonerI know I shall thank God every day of my life for the series of events that led me at last to the right pages, to you. When I fully realized what it meant— that you had been spared the death you faced so bravely that April morning, the death that has haunted my thoughts and my nightmares for so long— It was like a wound, the oldest and deepest scar ripped back open, inch by inch. I was completely laid bare from it, from the storm of emotions warring within me: such joy, such anguish for the lost time (how many more years could we have had, Jamie, had I looked?), such fear—and then joy again, because the years of grief could now be ended, and *against all reason!* I could see you again.  

Likewise will I thank God every day for the small voice in my head that nudged me at the very last moment to go first to Lallybroch, rather than to your shop in Edinburgh. Please thank Jenny for me. She explained everything. 

It is for the best, that it happened this way; easier, I think, for all concerned. Perversely, despite the shock, I find myself smiling in this moment: for we promised there would be no lies between us, remember? It is a promise I make to you again, today. You can know, then, with absolute certainty, that it can be no lie when I tell you that I am glad glad and on-my-knees grateful to Heaven that you have found true happiness. 

After all the pain and the loss, the war and the hunger and the suffering you’ve endured, to know that you have a wife with whom you’ve found something new and wonderful; that you have had the joy of holding your own children in your arms, to have seen them be born and grow? It is a balm, Jamie, a comfort to know that despite all the cruelty fate has dealt you—dealt us— you have been blessed with such great and abundant joy. Never would I wish anything less for you, just as I know you would not for me. 

It is my deepest prayer that as you read these words, you will know the truth of them, will be able to feel my heart through the page, and KNOW that from its very depths, I wish you every happiness with your wife and your daughters. 

And yet I couldn’t leave, couldn’t go back from whence I came, without telling you about another little girl, who was born the 23rd of November the year of Culloden. 

I hope the contents of the brown packet, here enclosed, tell you more than any words could about your daughter—our daughter—Brianna Ellen.

Jamie was shaking—no, he was — crumbling

Every breath wrenched through him, agonizing, and the tears were falling, blurring his vision. He had to sit back on his haunches to keep them from dropping onto the page and blurring her precious words. 

Her words

CLAIRE’s

His hands were quaking with

November

with EVERYTHING

Jesus, GOD in 

Couldn’t

He COULD NOT think

Thoughts, words, they were—

They failed him, simply abandoned him as he shook on the study rug. Only his body seemed to know the way, for he was snatching for the parcel, tearing at the string binding the paper. There was an oily, unidentifiable wrapping within, then a layer of soft flannel, and then —   

The sound that escaped him—He didn’t even know there existed such a sound within him. It was terrible and beautiful at once, and though it was in no language, what he felt, his lips over and over formed a word, the only word he could muster: “No….NO….” 

For as though a great knife had cut through those terrible, looming stones on the accursed hill, Jamie held his infant daughter, newly-born, sleeping there in the palms of his hands. The portrait—picture?—painting?—was all in shades of grey, and yet somehow lifelike as a true bairn in miniature before him, like peering through a spyglass straight into that distant life.

He had not a single thought to spare for how, or by what means…

He could only trace the bitty wee fists curled on the blanket, the sweet wisps of hair on the tiny skull.

“Oh, mo chridhe…” 

He couldn’t look away, could not even blink, though tears were coursing downward. 

God, the child —this very child — 

—delivered safely into the world and into the arms of her mother—her mother.

The babe had lived—LIVED.

The pad of his thumb caught slightly as he caressed her cheek, and the portrait slid upward just enough to reveal — “Ohh…Jesus…”

She was grown to a toddling child, eating a cake that was smeared all about her face. And damn him if he didn’t LAUGH amidst the weeping to see just how pleased with herself she looked for it, a cuddly toy raised in triumph like a sword, four wee teeth visible as she giggled out a victory cry.

There she was again, older, standing in a great snowfall, naught but wee cheeks and grinning eyes visible under the great padded suit she wore against the cold. 

Older, still. Three? Four? Sitting proper-like in a pretty frock with her hair combed smooth. 

Such a sweet face—

Older, still, standing with a wee box in her hand beside a giant something with wheels, proud and eager, eyes bright.

And then he was gasping as the spyglass world ignited into blazing, brilliant colors. He saw his daughter’s hair, red and victorious and shining against the black coat of the huge dog she hugged tight; saw the pink flush of her cheeks, spread down her neck as it always did his, when he was happy and exuberant.

On and on flashed the paintings, these captured moments of his daughter’s life.

Going fishing and doing a damn fine job of it. 

Playing uproariously in the sea-surf, splashing and laughing with complete abandon.

Absolutely lovely as as she grew out of girlhood, and God, how vividly he could see Claire in her, as she did—in the lines of her, the way she held her mouth, tilted her head—that broad, clear brow that begged to be kissed, reverently—

Laughing, carefree, safe

Braw and strong as she chopped wood. Good lass!

Gazing softly out a window, seeming not even to notice her image being captured. 

On 

and on

and on 

until he was gasping and looking at the last portrait, of an achingly beautiful young woman sitting on a rock before a fire, making camp for the night, perhaps. Her face was cast in the same golds and red as her hair; the dreams of her heart seeming to dance across her eyes—as they always did her mother’s. His daughter…grown.  

The paintings were strewn all around him on the carpet, a tableau of her; her life. On his knees he bowed over them, overwhelmed and shuddering with great sobs as he looked, and looked, and looked.

She was—

She would be

…..she was well.  

The child HAD been safe.

It hadn’t been for naught. 

He fell, then, and sheltered her like a cloak, keeping his child, his daughter, safe and shielded from the world for just one moment; safe…his….

Brianna


It was only sudden, ripping, screaming panic that yanked him out of the quiet calm, searching wildly, fumbling with desperate hands—

But relief tore from his throat just as suddenly as he found a second page: 

Not everything can be captured in a photograph, of course (that’s what they’re called. Did I ever tell you about them?), and there’s so much I long to tell you about this wonderful person.

Will you believe she’s been taller than me since the age of thirteen? She carries it like a queen, though, like I imagine your mother did. She doesn’t slouch or try to hide. Not Bree. 

Oh, yes: most people call her Bree, for short. 

She bites her nails, when she’s thinking hard. I don’t even think she notices when she’s doing it.

She’s absolutely brilliant, Jamie, studying at one of the top universities in the world to be a historian. You would be so very proud of her. 

She’s not perfect, of course. Perhaps her biggest flaw as half-Scottish is that she HATES whisky, haha. I’ll do my best to win her over, though, don’t you worry. 

She’s a spectacular artist, another way in which she takes after her grandmother. She captures you, completely. 

That statement, actually, is true in more ways than one. Our Brianna is captivating, in every way. 

She’s an absolute wonder with maths and figures —as natural to her as breathing, it seems, just like they are for you. 

She smiles in her sleep, just like her father. 

She’s so like you, Jamie, it breaks my heart. 

After Frank died—But Lord, I haven’t said anything of him. 

It was two years ago. He had a good, full life, and he loved Bree more than anything in the world. He could have been cruel, could have taken out his anger upon the child, the very breathing manifestation of the ways in which I’d betrayed him—but he didn’t. From the moment he first held her, Frank loved her as his own, and while things between he and I were tenuous, to say the least, I will always love him for the father he was to her, for the sacrifices he made for her. I hope that is a comfort to you, and not a blow. 

After he was gone, after giving her time to grieve, it felt important that Bree should know about you, about the stones. It took—well, it frankly took a bloody lot of luck and a jolly good miracle to get her to believe, *but she does.* She loved Frank with all her heart, but she knows now that Jamie Fraser was her father. IS her father. 

You should know that she was instrumental in finding you. She persisted when I would have faltered under the doubts and the fears. As ecstatic and overjoyed as I was at the news that you were alive, I was so afraid Jamie, for you, for me, for Bree. 

Even though I know she, too, was plagued with fears, she remained strong; and she kept ME strong. Even at the very stones, when I was so wracked with guilt over leaving her forever that I would have stayed, for her sake, she was there to strengthen me, to tell me not to look back. She said that she was giving me back to you, and that if I didn’t go, *she* would. ‘Someone has to find him and tell him I was born,’ she said, and she meant it. 

THAT is the kind of person your daughter is growing to be, Jamie: determined, and brilliant, and selfless for the sake of those she loves; *and that includes you.* She asked me to give you a kiss, just from her. I’ve left it here, on the page, for you to keep, always. 

Brianna has been the greatest joy of my life since we parted, a joy that would have been richer only if I had been granted the grace to raise her with you at my side. Thank you for her. THANK YOU for making me go on, for her sake. Despite everything, it has been a good life. Even in those long years of grief, I had the joy of seeing you every day, of seeing your spirit, there in the child of our love. And I’m so very grateful. 

I’ll keep telling her about you. There wasn’t enough time, before I left. She’ll be able hear everything, now. I promise. 

Jamie shook his head hard, fast, feeling for a third page that wasn’t there. “No…” 

Be happy, Jamie Fraser, and LIVE. 

“No,” he moaned. his eyes clinging to the fleeting words, even as he begged them not to stop. “Claire…”

Love, always

“Mo nighean donn, don’t —  

Claire


Those next seconds were everlasting, each terrible, catastrophic truth echoing in his soul like the toll of a great bell, over and over. 

She had been here

Claire had been here

She left

Claire left

Because Jenny—


She was sitting at the bottom of the staircase, crying hard into Ian’s shoulder. When the study door crashed open, her head shot up and she jumped to her feet, her face pure terror. “Jamie, mo ch—”

“When?” He snarled it, and Jenny convulsed with a deep sob like a swallowed scream, and covered her face with her hands. 

Jamie was thundering toward her, a veil of red over his vision as he demanded, “WHEN?” 

Ian—in a shockingly deft and smooth movement given the leg—shot to his feet, shielding Jenny from Jamie’s rage with his body. 

In all truth, the rational parts of Jamie’s mind were glad for Ian’s presence, for that was the only thing keeping the blood rage from taking control, from taking revenge. “WHEN was she here, woman?” he bellowed over Ian’s shoulder,  “How fucking long did ye see fit to keep—”

Ian shoved him, eyes blazing. “You’ll NOT talk that way to—” 

Mor—ning—”Jenny sobbed, her voice a strangled whisper, “—gone before—Jamie! Oh, JamieI ken I’ll—never for—give mys—for—” 

HOW MANY MONTHS?”  he roared, overtaken by despair, overtaken by rage, becoming a nameless beast under it. “HOW MANY YEARS, JENNY?” 

“This morning—” she wailed, “To—TO—DAY—” 

Nothing. 

Silence. 

And then a great wave, tall as a mountain, rose up within Jamie, blasting out everything within him in a single cataclysmic moment of clarity. 

Today

T O D A Y

Then she was—

She could be no more than—

He vaulted up the stairs four at a time, paying no heed to Janet and Wee Ian and the others who were gathered at the top of the staircase, wide-eyed and pale and gaping.

Less than a minute later, he thundered back down past them all, breeks only half-laced under his boots, traveling bag on his back. 

“No,” Jenny moaned, grasping at his sleeve as he passed and trying to hold him back. “Jamie, ye canna—Ye CANNA catch her, she's—GONE—she’s—”

He shook her off, hard enough to knock her off-balance, and ran to the kitchen, shoving what food he could lay his hands on into his sack and moving straight to the door, so crazed with determination he could barely see what it was he took. Food didn’t matter. Fatigue, already tugging at him, didn’t matter. Claire was— 

“Jamie, she’s nearly a day ahead—” Jenny caught the handle just as he did, eyes absolutely wild. “Ye dinna even ken where she’s bound or—” 

He spared his sister one look, and let all the hate and contempt, the rage and the betrayal show there as he growled, “I ken precisely where she’s bound.” 


Princess of Themyscira

Prompt: “You’re going to die. Please stay!”

AN: ANGST, ANGST EVERYWHERE, you have been warned. Diana won today, and I really wanted to do something special with her. I really hope you guys enjoy this.

AN 2: So, I’ve decided to turn this into a series which means the second part will be re-written. If you even remember it. This is just the start! 

Words: 976


“She’s already lost her father Diana, are you going to take away her mother too?”

          Your grandmother’s voice is fraught with emotion, with a plea to your mother to stay. To live. Your mother’s voice is filled with determination. She’s made her choice, she’ll die a warrior, just like your father. “I am a warrior; this is my fight. This is my world. And I will save it so that my daughter has a chance to live in it.”

          You don’t peak out from your hiding place. You know your mother’s jaw is set in a firm line, and that her eyes are hard with determination. She’s approaching her death, the same way she approached your school principal when you were being bullied.

          You wrap your arms around yourself. Your grandmother sighs “Very well my child. Do what you must. Your daughter, my granddaughter, she has a place among your sisters.”

          You want to laugh at that. You’re sixteen and you’ve never even met the woman who calls herself your grandmother. Your mother had been banned from Themyscira, due to her relationship with your father.

          You can hear the heels of your mother's’ boots click across the floors, as she walks away. You step from your hiding place, when you can no longer hear the sound. You gaze out from the open temple as your mother’s figure slowly vanishes from sight.

          Your grandmother smiles at you and says, “You’re as silent as your mother. When she was young she would hide and listen in on my council meetings. She taught you well.”

          You shake your head, “My father taught me how to move. Neither wanted me anywhere near fighting, but my father wanted to make sure I could escape. I am the reigning hide and seek champion of Wayne Manor. My father and brothers couldn’t find me. Only Mother could. She says we think alike.”

          Hippolyta’s smile fades for a second, before she regains it, “I see. You enjoyed your childhood.”

          You nod, “There was always someone with me, even when the world was ending. Especially if the world was ending. More often than not it was one of my brothers, or Alfred. Titus was always there, but he passed away several years ago.”

          “An elder?”

          You laugh, “A dog. I was never alone. I think they had all spent so much time alone, that they never wanted me to be that way. Just like they never wanted me to see the ugly in the world, so I wasn’t trained.”

          “I’m surprised either of your parents would permit that.”

          You sit down on one of the steps, and a moment later your grandmother sinks down next to you. “I’m not. They wanted me to have a normal life. They didn’t want me to go through the pain or the suffering. It was a noble hope I suppose.”

          “Perhaps.”

          Another moment of silence passes and you say, “They always said I looked more like my grandmothers than I did them. They said I inherited the best traits of both you and my father’s mother.” You feel the first tear start to slip, “I’m alone now.”

          Your grandmother’s arms wrap around you a second later, “No child, you have me, you have your mother’s sisters.”

          You smile a bit as another tear rolls down your face, “I don’t belong here though. I saw the looks they gave me. I come from man’s world. They’re weary of me.”

          “They will learn child.”

          You shake your head, “They’re right. I know of this place, my mother told me stories, but I do not belong to this place.”

          You stand, as your grandmother’s arms retreat. You give her one look before saying, “I wish I had been able to know you when I was young.” And then you’re running.

          You hit the sand right as your mother is about to take off, but she stops at the sight of you. Her arms open to you, and you throw yourself into them, wrapping your arms around her neck, “You’re going to die. Please don’t leave me.”

          Her fingers tangle in your hair, and she kisses your forehead, “Oh my sun and star, how I wish I could stay.”

          Your voice is going somewhat hoarse, “Then stay, please stay.”

          “My beautiful daughter. My baby girl. We’ll be reunited one day, hopefully on a day that comes no time soon. When it does come, your father and I will be waiting. But until then, make sure you live, and that you love, and that you let yourself be loved. You are beautiful, and smart, and so strong.”

          You pull back, “I don’t want to be alone.”

          She smiles at you and looks over your shoulder. Slowly you turn to see what she sees. Surrounding the two of you is an army of amazons. She smiles, “You are not alone. You are my daughter. That makes you the Princess of Themyscira.” She looks towards your grandmother who nods, and her smile widens. “That makes you an amazon. And that makes these women your sisters.” Slowly the women around you nod their heads as they all hold out their hands.

          You turn to your mother, and she places something in your hand. The locket you father had given her on the day you were born. She opens it to reveal a picture of your entire family surrounding her, and you, on the day you were born. You stare at your father’s face, your brothers’ faces, Alfred’s face and the tears come harder. “Do not forget where you come from my daughter. And most certainly don’t forget who loved you.”

          She pulls away, and the arms of two women you don’t know wrap around you, and they hold you. You watch your mother leave with pain in your heart. That’s the last time you ever see her.

Pregnancy series #2– Telling them (part two) (707, Zen, V, Saeran)

Damn, i am on an upload frenzy! This is to make up for the late uploads and to celebrate the end of exams! Hope you enjoy!

Part 1 Here (Yoosung and Jumin)

Masterlist Here

707

You were trying to figure out how all of this would work. The two of you were not married, Saeyoung was basically a hyperactive puppy, Saeran was a basically a teen going through a phase, so how the hell were you going to raise a new-born child on top of that. In addition to all of this, not forgetting that your parents hated Saeyoung with a passion, how the hell is seven going to even hold a new-born child if he can’t handle looking after a cat without terrifying it. After some deep thinking on the toilet seat and getting over the initial fact that you were going to be having Saeyoungs’ child, you decided to tell him in the most creative way possible.

Saeyoung came home later that evening whilst shouting “ Honey, Saeran, God Seven is home”, he went into the kitchen to grab some honey buddah chips and was left in shock once he saw ‘Congrats , you are going to be a dad’ , was written out on the counter in honey buddah chips.

“Surprise!” you said as you jumped up feeling proud of yourself

“MY CHIPS!” Saeyoung screamed out

“You son of a -!”

Zen

You had just accidently revealed that you were pregnant to Zen whilst he was on phone with you whilst he was on tour. The other end of the line was deadly quiet, you had even been checking to see if the line had been cut off by accident. Zen finally took in a breath of air before muttering out the words “Please skype me” before hanging up.

You quickly went over to the computer, logged into skype and called Zen. He took a few moments to pick up but when he finally did, the shock was still there, clear on his face. His eyes were widened as well was his mouth, his hair was a bit scruffier than it normally was and he was muttering words to himself.

“I’m going to be a dad, I’m going to be a dad I’m going to be a da-“

“ZEN!”

“What?” He replied looking up from his hands

“You will be a great dad, do not worry”

“Oh trust me I know, it’s the other boys I am worried about. 707 would probably drop him/her. Jumin would try and raise them to be an emotionless robot. Jahee would make the depressed. Yoosung will make them addicted to gaming and oh god if it’s a girl, they will be obviously blessed with my stunning looks with your cute looks, the boys in her school would never leave her alone. Oh god, oh god, oh god” he continued to ramble on.

Saeran

Saeran was still not back from his last breakdown. You sighed as you reluctantly glanced at the clock; it was 11:47pm. It was getting too late and you did not trust him to be out alone this late. You went on to grab your coat, his coat and a pair of shoes and began walking down the street, in hope to find your husband.

It had been around 5 minutes of you calling for him until you finally saw a red haired boy sitting alone on the park bench. You cautiously made your way towards the man and sighed in relief once you saw that it was the man you had been looking for. You sat down next to him and placed the jacket in his lap. “Here, it cold” you mumbled.

Thank you” he said quietly whilst putting it on. It was a few moment of silence before he said” You know that I know right?”

“What?” you asked confused.

“I know that you are pregnant. You left your pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and I saw it before I left”

“oh…” you replied quietly, unsure of what to say know.

“I-I’m sorry. I know I am not the best husband. I know you deserve better. I know that every day is a living hell, with me yelling at you for things that you definitely do not deserve. But I want to be a good dad. I never knew my dad, and you already know about my mum. But I know you will be nothing like my mum, so I want to be the same. I promise you, that I am going to try my hardest to be the best dad I can be” he said in one go, with a few stutters here and there.

You smiled happily and took his hands in yours. “Don’t worry, I know you will” you said with a smile.

V

The two of you had just had another argument about if whether or not Jihyun should have the eye surgery or not, and it was the worst one yet. The both of you were screaming at each other, every name under the sun was being called out. But you had had enough. You simply just stood there, leaning against the wall, letting him get whatever he wanted off his chest. Not only were you fed up with having pointless arguments, your voice was strained, your tear ducts were dry and in addition to that, all this arguing and extra stress was not good for the baby at all.

V had finally stopped arguing for a second as he notices that you were no longer paying attention. He just looked at you staring into space with an annoyed expression on your face.

“What? You finally had enough and you are going to agree to let me do what I want?” he spat out harshly as he took a seat on the bed and dropped his cane.

You sighed as you stood up straight and stretched your arms. You slowly walked over to where he was and stood in front of him whilst looking down.

“You know what, I do not even care anymore. I just do not care. I do not understand why you feel the need to remain blind even though we know the true intentions of Rika. If you never want to see the bright colours of our environments again, fine. If you ever want to see your photographs, fine. But if you never want to see what your own child looks like, don’t you think that that is a bit cruel?” You said, barely above a whisper.

It took a few moments for the news to settle in. He stood up and took of his dark sunglasses and stared at you with his piercing blue eyes.

“Y-you’re pregnant?” he stuttered out. You gave a timid nod in reply.  He sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands but then embraced you in a large bear hug.

Okay, okay. Maybe I am being stubborn and I did take it too far. I cannot promise anything, but I will promise to think about it in more detail, I am so happy that

we are finally going to have a child” he mumbled through your hair.

You sighed as you hugged him back, It was not ideal, but at least it was a start.

medium.com
BORN TO BE A STAR — JOEY CLAIRE, MAID OF LIGHT – optimisticDuelist – Medium
MAID: One who makes Light, or makes through Light — for themselves. LIGHT: Power, Fortune, Enlightenment, Knowledge, Ideas, Importance…
By optimisticDuelist

Here’s a post on Joey’s Hero Title–The MAID of LIGHT!–and how understanding it strengthens our reading of Joey’s struggles with neglect and loneliness, her STRIFES, her skills and abilities, and more! We even look at some interesting foreshadowing for where her arc may be going in the next Acts!

(Credit to @thricequeen and @dahniwitchoflight for providing key details that feed into my own speculation, btw! Thanks a ton, peeps)

Classpecting has so far been a hugely underappreciated part of Hiveswap’s narrative, and I’d like to change that. This post is also a focused introduction on Classpects in general, and should ideally be perfectly easy to follow if you’re a new Hiveswap fan with no exposure to the system from Homestuck! 

I do have to warn, however, that there will be Homestuck Spoilers in this essay. So heads up about that! Now, on to some bad news. I have similar Classpect essays brainstormed for Xefros Tritoh and Jude Harley.
But alas, it may be a while before I can write those. 

As excited as I am to post this, it comes with an announcement I wish I wasn’t making. If you enjoy this essay and want to know more about future content from me, please read on.

Keep reading

But why?

Dark!Dany in season 7 (part 1 of ~4). 

I was almost finished writing down my dark!dany-impressions from episodes 1 and two, but then episode 3 aired and I decided to completely change the structure of this little essay and start anew. So of course, this took way longer than anticipated. I decided to finish the first part now, hopefully post the second part later today or tomorrow and complete the third and fourth after Dany went Dracarys in ep 4 (because she will, I just know that she will)

A couple of disclaimers before I get started :

First: D&D are playing loose (very loose) with the social rules and norms established in the books. I will try to keep any “that doesn’t make any sense, in the books xyz would happen” out of this. For example if the show tells me that besieging a city from all sites, thereby cutting its supply lines, will cost the least civilian life, I will take that as a fact. If the show claims that Cersei’s claim to the Iron Throne is “secure” enough to be seen fucking her own brother, at least within Kings Landing and in the mind of several Reach Lords who answered her summon, I will accept that as well. In short: If D&D say that’s how it is, then that’s how it is.

Second: I do not believe that primarily judging characters and their actions from a westerosi point of view really makes sense anymore. The world in which this story takes place should be taken into consideration, yes, but watsonian consistency and accuracy have really taken a backseat to the doylist intentions the show is trying to express. D&D are clearly changing and constructing plot lines, characterizations, decisions and reactions with a modern audience in mind and, most importantly, to accommodate their modern moral and ethical views. This is not to say that modern audiences lack the capacity to put themselves into alien positions and worldviews. This ability simply seems to be very inconsistent and sometimes even contradictory. For example: Even though decapitation has mostly vanished as a form of punishment, it’s fairly easy to recognise the supposed “justice” in such an act. If we are presented with a culprit guilty of a capital crime. As the show has displayed many times, chopping off someone else’s head for breaking a vow, does not turn you into a blood-thirsty murderer or ruthless tyrant, even though we all agree, that it’s good we don’t do that anymore. But on the other hand (pun intended) if one of our good guys were to cut of a thief’s hand on screen -a widespread punishment for theft over many continents and centuries, including the setting of asoiaf* - we would probably have a harder time to “forgive” them for it. I know I would. Humans and their perception of “moral” are weird. I’m sure there are some theories out there on why that is and what influences this, imo, rather weird phenomena, but I hope you understand what I mean when I say: We can accept different realities and their rules, but only when we can. In my opinion, that’s a framework D&D are carefully working with.

You can disagree with me on that, but that is how I am going to approach the show from now on, this little post included. I will focus on what the show-runners are trying to convey to a modern audience. How do they want us to react to what happens on screen and what tools do they use to influence and guide our reaction. Many of my estimations will be intuitive and not necessarily fully objective, so everyone is free to disagree with me in that perspective. But if you want to refute one of my arguments here, solely based on “but it is based on the medieval !!!”, you will have to present a very compelling case for me to care. Because the show mostly doesn’t care on what time period Westeros is vaguely based on, so why should I? 

Third: These are only my opinions, blah blah. I do not claim to have an insider in HBO who tells me what they were trying to do. These are only my thoughts, my analysis, my interpretations. 

Fourth: I don’t “hate” Dany, I don’t think she is the most evilest person on the show, I simply believe that she is moving into a darker direction. Honestly, that would be the exact twist the series could need right now. It’s starting to get a bit boring and predictable.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get started with the first big question:

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Why even conquer Westeros ?

I believe that both intentions and consequences are important. As a rule of thumb I always judge an action by its consequences, the character of a person by their intentions. This is often intertwined, an “evil” person will often do “evil” things, “good” people can sometimes do “evil” things for “good” reasons, and if a “good” person keeps doing “evil” shit you will sooner or later question how “good” they really are. It’s useless to say that all of this is indeed very subjective and it’s pretty unlikely that two people will always be on the same page. No one has to agree with me on that (after all the entire field of philosophy has been arguing about this for centuries), but I found it to be a fair and meaningful way to assess “ethical positioning”, at least for fictional fictional characters and my own opinion. 

So in this first section, I will focus on the question Why does Dany even want to conquer Westeros? Rather than her qualities as a queen or the consequences of her actions I will try to focus on her intentions, on what drives her to conquer the Seven Kingdoms. I will end this section on whether those intentions justify or warrant the price she is willing to pay for the Iron Throne and talk more thoroughly about it in later parts.

Season 7 has had a number of interesting hints and revelations about this issue.

EPISODE 1 “DRAGONSTONE”

I honestly didn’t pay much attention to the single short scene Dany had in episode one. (I was preoccupied with the case umber & karstark vs the north). But some comments made by Dany-fans caught my attention and made me take another look at her behaviour. What I’m talking about is Dany entering the Throne Room in Dragonstone, walking towards the throne (a symbol for “ruling”) but moving to the next room, rejecting it for the carved table Aegon planned his conquest on 300 years ago (a symbol for just that - “conquest”). 

I read comments along the lines “This was such a great character moment! It really shows where her priorities lie” or “She doesn’t just want to rule, she wants to win!”. After giving it some thought I fully agree with these statements, but … I do not think that’s … a good thing? This reminds me very much of something Dario said in season 6: 

You weren’t made to sit on some chair in a palace. […] You are a conqueror, D Stormborn. 

I think he is spot on with this. It has been shown again and again that what Dany is good at, what she thrives at, is conquest. Fighting and defeating your enemy. My question is: does this make her a good candidate for the Iron Throne? Shouldn’t her conquest simply be the means through which she accomplishes her real goal - ruling - instead of her true vocation? I don’t believe that Dany actually wants to sit on a throne, she simply wants to win it. Robert showed that good soldiers don’t make good kings, I do not believe that good conquerors make good queens neither.

EPISODE 2 “STORMBORN”

This episode tackles and subtly undermines two motivations behind this conquest, that made it an relatable, righteous venture in both our and Danys mind. 

First, Dany admits that Dragonstone “doesn’t feel like home”. 

Dany to Viserys in Pentos [s1]:
I don’t want to be his queen. I want to go home

Dany to Tyrion in Meereen [s5]:
I fought so that no child born into Slaver’s Bay would ever know what it meant to be sold or bought. I will continue that fight here and beyond. But this is not my home. 

Dany to Tyrion in Dragonstone [s7]:
I always thought this would be a homecoming. Doesn’t feel like home.

Longing for one’s home is an outmost humane desire. We can empathize and sympathize with this. We can’t begrudge her for this wish or the actions she takes to fulfill it. She might have never spend a day of her adult life in westeros before, but it has always been “home” in her mind. Now she is faced with the ugly reality that it isn’t. That Dragonstone, and I would deduce the Seven Kingdoms as a whole, are a strange, foreign place to her. If the castle she was born in, her family’s ancestral seat doesn’t feel “like home”, what will? The Red Keep? The Iron Throne? It is quite tragic, but the only real home Dany ever knew was the House with the red door in Braavos she lived in as a child. And that is not the home she will find at the end of her conquest. 


Second, Dany realizes that the common folk is not praying for her return, sewing dragon banners and drinking secret toasts to her health.

The wine seller and Dany [s1]:
You know there are many in your homeland who pray for your return princess. –  I hope to repay your kindness someday.

Tyrion and Dany [s5]:
When you get back to you home, who supports you? – “The common people”

Dany to Varys [s7]:
They call out for their true queen? They drink secret toasts to my health? People used to tell my brother that sort of thing and he was stupid enough to believe it. 

Acknowledging that Viserys was a fool to believe this, certainly shows maturity and that she’s come to understand “how the world works”, but this notion, that she would return the rightful ruler to her people also gave her conquest a “moral backbone”. After all Dany has always depicted herself as a champion for the common people (at least as long as she was in essos, more on that later). If she believes that “her people are crying out for their true queen”, even if it isn’t true, simply if she believes it, her conquest is to some extent meant to fulfill the wishes of her subjects. Whether that is an important factor for the legitimacy of a feudalistic ruler, is another question, but it definitely is a quality we admire and look for in a good ruler. What makes the King in the North scenes so powerful and engaging, is the fact, that both Robb and Jon are chosen by their people. This has always played an important part in Dany’s self-image as a ruler. She was always shown to be loved by the essosi commoners (ie former slaves), she herself has stated that “the common folk” is who supports her in westeros. But quite frankly the show hasn’t addressed yet what the westerosi small folk is thinking about the dragon queen’s return. Neither has Dany. It is only brought up once, when Varys starts to recount how unpopular Cersei is and Dany shuts him down immediately.

I noticed that “the good” Dany could do for the small folk in Westeros is mostly addressed by her supporters, not herself. Varys claims to back her because he believes “she is the best chance the common folk has”, Tyrion is the one to tell Jon that she “protects people from monsters”. In her time in slaver’s bay she brought this up numerous times herself: What SHE could do to better their lives. But since she landed in Westeros, she only talks about bringing peace and prosperity to the people twice. Once when talking to Onella, who immediately shits all over warfare-the-nice-way and tells her to be “a dragon” (more on that in part 3) and a second time when talking to Jon. But this sentiment was brought up in the context of how “a targaryen on the Iron Throne and a Stark as warden in northhave been good for the realm. It isn’t directly linked to Dany herself, rather her conception of her family’s legacy and it’s influence in the past.

EPISODE 3 “THE QUEENS JUSTICE”

This episode has done nothing to paint Danys motivation in a, let’s say “humanitarian”, light. Quite contrary, Dany freely admits in her own words that this conquest is most and foremost about her. Her wishes, her desires, what she thinks she deserves. She is approaching her “negotiation” with Jon with two key arguments in mind. First, her hereditary claim as a Targaryen and secondly, her personal claim based on her life experiences

The last King in the North was Torrhen Stark, who bend the knee to my ancestor, Aegon Targaryen. In exchange for his life and the life of the Northmen, Torrhen Stark swore fealty to House Targaryen in perpetuity. […] You’ve travelled all this way to break faith with House Targaryen? …

I’ve already talked about my problems with Dany calling herself the “rightful” ruler. Though she admits that her father was an “evil man”, she doesn’t acknowledge Robert’s Rebellion as a justified uprising against a tyrant. She simply sees her father as the bad apple of the family. As a single outlier in the otherwise “consistent” history of “righteous” Targaryen rule. Not only showing an unwillingness to accept any wrongdoings done by her house, her father gets outsourced as an exception, but also the consequences his downfall has for her “birthright”. Notice how she is specifically introduced as the “rightful” ruler (which is a little node at Jon heritage as well). She insists that the oaths Torrhen Stark made to Aegon are valid for eternity. She accuses Jon of “breaking faith” and “being in open rebellion”.  She is not trying to re-establish House Targaryen post-rebellion, she is refusing to acknowledge the rebellions significance, as if it doesn’t even matter. Her goal is to keep the Targaryen rule going, because in her mind, it never was rightfully “interrupted” in the first place. This is a mind-set that hasn’t changed since season 1.

While this argument seems to be prepared, her “outburst” that follows, reveals her most honest thoughts and opinions.

I was born in Dragonstone. Not that I can remember it. We fled before Robert’s assassins could find us. Robert was your father’s best friend, no? I wonder if your father knew that his best friends sent assassins to murder a baby girl in her crib. Not that it matters now, of course. I spent my life in foreign lands. So many men have tried to kill me, I don’t remember all their names. I have been sold like a broodmare. I’ve been chained and betrayed, raped and defiled. Do you know what kept me standing through all these years in exile? Faith. Not in any gods, not in myths and legends. In myself. In D Targaryen. 

 Don’t get me wrong, she deserves sympathy for all this. She was victimized for most her life, breaking free of this role, taking agency and even drawing strength from her abuse is indeed inspiring. I don’t know if that was the purpose of her speech, but I’m sure that many people perceived it that way. I don’t want to badmouth those who took just that away from it. 

But somehow … it also raised some “tragic-villain-backstory” alarms in my head. You know, traditionally at the end of the movie, when our heroes are chained up somewhere in the bad dudes lair and ask “Why are you doing this?” and the villain responds with all the bad shit that happened to them. Talking about how the world wronged them, often how our heroes wronged them.  “All my life the laughed at me, look who’s laughing now?”

This is not a sentiment directly expressed by her, but I feel like it’s so heavily implied that it’s fair to list it here. She has endured many, many hardships and now she feels that the world “owes” her big time. I feel like her ambition of conquering an entire kingdom has crossed the line of “not letting all your traumas stop you” and entered the realm of “I deserve everything I want, no matter the cost because life was unfair to me.” And that really is a text-book villain motive. 

I really do not like to compare female characters, and I’m not trying to say that one of them “had it worse than the other”, but all of these things also apply to Sansa, some of them even to Cersei. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in an episode titled “The Queen’s justice”, we see one Queen using her sufferings to support her claim, one taking revenge on those who wronged her and another taking care of her people’s needs. All of these three women have suffered in similar ways and while two of them use it to justify their rather selfish behaviour, one of them is shown to spend her time working for others. This “parallel” is only amplified by Bran mentioning Sansa’s wedding night in the same episode. The only reason I can see for Bran bringing up this specific incident (there were many other options to proof his three-eyed-raven powers), is to draw a connection to Danys speech. Again, I am not necessarily trying to set them against each other, but Danys approach to coping with her abuse, at least resembles the one Cersei chose to take. Compare Danys speech to this book quote from Cersei and tell me you don’t get similar vibes:

I waited, and so can he. I waited half my life. She had played the dutiful daughter, the blushing bride, the pliant wife. She had suffered Robert’s drunken groping, Jaime’s jealousy, Renly’s mockery, Varys with his titters, Stannis endlessly grinding his teeth. She had contended with Jon Arryn, Ned Stark, and her vile, treacherous, murderous dwarf brother, all the while promising herself that one day it would be her turn. If Margaery Tyrell thinks to cheat me of my hour in the sun, she had bloody well think again.

This makes me believe that Dany is more or will be more like Cersei than she would like to think. If we all believe that Cersei is power hungry, isn’t Dany as well? For very similar reasons? 


The ending of her little speech also makes her seem a bit megalomaniac. 

[…] Do you know what kept me standing through all these years in exile? Faith. Not in any gods, not in myths and legends. In myself. In D Targaryen. The world hasn’t seen a dragon in centuries until my children were born. The Dothraki haven’t crossed the sea, any sea. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms and I will. 

It’s no surprise really. She is the Mother of Dragons, the Unburnt, the Khal of Khals. It’s no wonder all of this goes to her head. This also ties into her conversation with Melisandre in episode two. She immediately assumes that the prophecy is about her, or at least, seems rather pleased at the possibility. She seems to be taken aback when Mel said she (only) “has a part to play”. (At least that’s how I interpreted it, it’s not really easy to know what EC is trying to convey with her … “acting”. Sry, not sry.) She has fully accepted herself as a chosen one, a prophesied savior, an über-mensch. Whether because of her lineage or her own achievements, this attitude hinges on plain arrogance and is way more often found in “villains” than “heroes”. 

Please notice that her speech is not triggered by Jon refusing her claim, but by his insistence that the white walkers are real and coming for all them. Having her react like this at that point off the argument seems a bit out of place. It could boil down to shitty writing, but it could also be meant to emphasize an apparent contrast between Jon and Dany. Jon embraces leadership to protect his people, Dany seeks it to satisfy her need for self-importance. 


While episode two subtly degrades her relatable and philanthropic motivations, episode three highlights those who are ultimately self-centered. Those rooted in ideas of superiority and entitlement. Whether she feels entitled because of everything she had to endure or her birthright as the last (lol) Targaryen, isn’t important. The point is that she feels she deserves to rule. She feels entitled to the seven kingdoms because of external circumstances, not because of her own qualities or competence. 

I would also like to point out one more thing: Dany could have very well stayed in Essos. She could have chosen to remain in “the Bay of Dragons”, rule as it’s queen, bringing real stability to the region. The show swept that under the rug, and yes, I promised to just take the bullshit D&D feed me at face value, but it she just left Slaver’s Bay behind when it was time to conquer Westeros. I don’t see any reason why the region shouldn’t return to chaos after she, her armies and her dragons are gone. After all, it was “D Stormborn and her dragons coming to Meereen”, as Tyrion put it, that finally brought the former Masters to obey. Now that she’s busy somewhere else, what’s going to keep them in check? Daario and his 2000 Second Sons? 

She could have stayed there, leading a comfortable life as it’s queen, caring for the people who worship her as the breaker of chains. Instead she decided to lead a war of invasion on Westeros. She decided to leave as soon as a fragile peace took hold, to wage war again. For what? If Dany isn’t fighting for “home” or “the will of her people”, what is she fighting for? What is left? She said it herself: D Targaryen. She is fighting for herself. This all is primarily about her and no one else. Honestly, I have a hard time rooting for someone who starts an invasion for selfish reasons.


This was part 1 of this long-ass post. I really hope I can finish “Tyrion Cricket starring in Danoccio” today or tomorrow. The sections “Fire and Blood and Burning Shit” will follow most likely after episode 4 has aired and my favourite topic right now (Targ!Cest vs Targ!Bowl) will come shortly after that. Stay tuned and thank you for your attention. 

Tokyo Ghoul sentence starters
  • “If an angelic being fell from the sky and tried to live in this world of ours, I think even they would commit many wrongs.”
  • “I already know what will happen to me the next time I wake up.”
  • “The bird fights it’s way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born, must first destroy a world.”
  • “I know I haven’t always made the right decisions up to now… Whether I was right, or whether I was wrong, may not even matter in the first place.”
  • “Running up against my sins like this– all of the choices I’ve made up to this point– today, being able to die for someone– is something I’m glad for…”
  • “There’s no way someone who can’t even protect himself can protect anyone else, is there?”
  • “Whose fault is it that things ended up like this? Coincidence? An accident? Fate? There’s no such thing as fate. It’s simply a combination of one circumstance and the next. And who is it that creates those circumstances? Who is it? It’s you.”
  • “All suffering in the world is born from an individual’s incompetence.”
  • “We’re always trying to justify our actions with ideals. But ideals cannot give grounds for killing another person. The act of taking a life will always be considered… evil.”
  • “You think something like that would hurt, after all I’ve been through?”
  • “Why is it that the beautiful things are entwined more deeply with death than with life?”
  • “Isn’t it arrogant to put a price on whether a life is “higher” or “lower”?”
  • “We’re just bags of meat. The weak bow down and the strong devour them.”
  • “You don’t need to blame yourself just because you’ve hurt someone, just like when you’re walking you can’t really blame yourself to crush some ants… that’s what being stronger ones means.”
  • “I’m not going to protect you by being your shield or armor, but I’ll be the dagger hidden below your pillow.”
  • “The act of taking is equally evil. We, from the moment of birth, continue to take.”
  • “Living is to constantly sin.”
  • “Life is evil in itself.”
  • “I am aware I’m evil… And so are you all.”
  • “Now come, kill me. And I shall do the same!”
  • “You only need a strong will and a clear purpose.”
  • “The world runs on power. Everything is determined by the superior power.”
  • “You are weak. That is why you lose.”
  • “We need to have a mask that we never take off.”
  • “It’s better to be hurt than to hurt others. Nice people can be happy with just that.”
  • “I’m begging you, don’t make me a killer!”
  • “Doing what one likes is the right of the powerful.”
  • “If you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be… A tragedy.”
  • “There are times when you have to give up on one thing to preserve the other.”
  • “That isn’t kindness. That’s just being weak.”
  • “Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It means they’re human.”
  • “When you’re in front of the enemy, even if your hands are trembling - fight.”
  • “What’s wrong isn’t me, what’s wrong is the world!”
  • “If you like, you can stay over here tonight.”
  • “If you’re lucky, you may see some cannibalism and that’s always fun.”
  • “I  can neither live with you. Nor without you.”
  • “All of the disadvantage in this world stems from a person’s lack of ability.”
  • “It’s not because we can’t take vengeance that we should feel sorry. The real reason to feel sorry… is when one is hung up on revenge and can’t live their own life.”
  • “What is one thousand minus seven?”
  • “Send all those from your presence except for those distinguished men whom you wish to die beside.”
  • “Très bien!”
  • “Sweet harmonies!”
  • “I’m not gonna die. I’ve got a cat that’s waiting for me at home.”
  • “You pretend to care about other people, but in the end, it’s all about you. You are just afraid of being alone, aren’t you?”
  • “You are a bird in a birdcage. There is no escape.”
  • “Go wild.”
  • “So I’ll be strong for and without them.”
  • “I don’t want to eat anymore.”
  • “Devour this.”
  • “Shut up and listen. I’m talking.”
  • “I’m happy living like this.”
  • “I already knew, man! Who cares about that? Let’s just go home already!”
  • “…Sorry. Can you fight all you’ve got just one more time?”
An Enemy on the One Hand

Summary: Reader Insert - Soulmate AU/Enemy AU based off this post: the universe determined your soulmate and enemy at birth, giving you one hint for each; their initials on one of your wrists. BUt what happens if BOTH sets of initials are for the same person? Set during CA:TWS

Word Count: 2020

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of violence, angst(ish), TWS spoilers (but seriously, what are you DOING here if you haven’t seen that yet?)

A/N: Okay, I’m taking a stab at this. I wanna thank @writingwithadinosaur (as usual) for helping me with EVERYTHING EVER, and being totally fabulous! And @imhereforbvcky for encouraging me to try in the first place.

I tagged everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on the announcement post cause I am a needy bitch, I need validation! But I am MORE than happy to add OR remove you if you’d like. There are several that didn’t work and they look like this

Originally posted by breakmybedbarnes


You were born with two sets of initials on your wrists; one set was your enemy’s, the other was your soulmate’s. Trouble was, you didn’t know which was which. The marks appeared on people’s wrists when their enemy or soulmate were born, for you, the marks were already there when you were born; so your soulmate and enemy were both older than you, by at least a few minutes. The marks were meant to burn a little bit when you crossed paths with your people, but you’d never felt anything. You would have thought you were one of the few in the world who didn’t have a predestined enemy or soulmate if not for the lingering W.S. on your left wrist, and J.B.B. on your right.

Life moved on, though you’d yet to cross paths with either your soulmate or your enemy, the initials remained. The marks would fade if the person they represented died, so you knew they were still alive, but you never found them.

You had a bad feeling. Work was tense, that wasn’t unusual; SHIELD was always tense to some extent, but this was different. Nick Fury had just been killed by an unknown assailant. Captain America was the last person to have seen him alive, and according to gossip, Alexander Pierce and Jasper Sitwell were blaming him for the whole event. You found that unbelievably hard to swallow for two reasons.

Reason #1: Natasha Romanov was a friend to you. You had no idea if she thought of you that way in return, but you trusted her and she worked with and trusted the Captain. Nick Fury had been a stable presence in her chaotic life; his death had hurt her. You couldn’t see a man who was her fellow Avenger killing Fury, for that reason alone.

Reason #2: Jasper Sitwell and Alexander Pierce were smarmy, slimy, creepy guys. At least they were to you. You’d never trusted them, and with it coming down to their word against Steve Rogers’, you trust Steve more by a mile.

Keep reading

Hunchback of Notre Dame Starters

taken from the musical adaption. feel free to change pronouns as necessary.

  • We are blessed to find our sanctuary.
  • Let me take you back. I’ll bring you home.
  • If you have truly discovered charity at this late date, there is someone you can help.
  • A baby? Yours?
  • It’s God’s judgment on you! 
  • The wicked shall not go unpunished!
  • He has nobody else. Take him, if you can find it in your heart.
  • Oh, Lord, you’ve sent me a test. 
  • This child is my cross to bear. 
  • I may not have saved my brother, but I will save this… thing.
  • What makes a monster and what makes a man?
  • The world is cruel. The world is wicked.
  • It’s I alone whom you can trust in this whole city.
  • I am your only friend.
  • How can I protect you, boy, unless you always stay in here?
  • These are crimes for which the world shows little pity.
  • You’re my one defender.
  • Out there, they’ll revile you as a monster.
  • I am a monster.
  • All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day not above them, but part of them.
  • Give me one day out there, all I ask is one.
  • What I’d give, what I’d dare, just to live one day out there!
  • Every day they shout and scold and go about their lives, heedless of the gift it is to be them.
  • If I were in their skin, I’d treasure every instant.
  • No one sees I’m here now.
  • Once a year we throw a party here in town.
  • Every man’s a king and every king’s a clown.
  • It’s the day the devil in us gets released.
  • Give me your girls of pleasure.
  • I have born the brunt of a soldier’s test.
  • Whoever pays the most I call ‘My Liege.’
  • And whatever I do I’ll make sure this is true: I will never go back again.
  • Darling, to be blunt you are with the best.
  • Like other true knights I’ve got ambition.
  • For a few nights fun is my mission.
  • Care to share a day of rest and recreation?
  • I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve you, my Lord.
  • I see how you stare.
  • Come see me dance.
  • She dances like the devil himself.
  • She dances like an angel.
  • Before we get old, come feel the heat.
  • Come taste the desire.
  • Put your foulest features on display.
  • Wouldn’t you like to be crowned King for a day?
  • It’s a day we do the things that we deplore.
  • See how I’ve sheltered you from having to go through this.
  • You don’t belong with normal men.
  • I don’t know if you can hear me or if you’re even there.
  • Yes, I know I’m just an outcast. I shouldn’t speak to you
  • I see your face and wonder, were you once an outcast too?
  • God help the outcasts or nobody will.
  • I ask for nothing. I can get by.
  • Please help my people, the poor and downtrod.
  • I thought we all were the children of God.
  • When you look from high above everything seems pretty.
  • Thanks for giving this moment to me.
  • For all these years you’ve stayed alone and free from danger.
  • Be brave and say something.
  • Come keep me warm until morning.
  • Hold me close while we’re dancing.
  • I cannot bear to watch and yet I cannot turn away.
  • So many times out there I’ve watched a happy pair of lovers walking in the night.
  • I knew I’d never now that warm and loving glow, though I might wish with all my might.
  • No face as hideous as my face was ever meant for Heaven’s Light.
  • Suddenly an angel has smiled at me and touched my face without a trace of fright.
  • I dare to dream that she might even care for me.
  • I swear it must be Heaven’s light.
  • Of my virtue I am justly proud.
  • You know I’m so much purer than the common, vulgar, weak licentious crowd.
  • I feel her. I see her. 
  • This burning desire is turning me to sin.
  • It’s not my fault! I’m not to blame!
  • It’s not my fault if in God’s plan he made the devil so much stronger than a man!
  • Let her taste the fires of Hell, or else let her be mine and mine alone.
  • Choose me or your pyre.
  • God have mercy on her.
  • God have mercy on me.
  • She will be mine or she will burn!
  • Don’t let her flee and vanish in the night.
  • Are you disobeying a direct order?
  • I knew it. She’s bewitched you, too.
  • I’ve heard the calling of the Lord.
  • In the dark, I call your name.
  • Why did I hear her words inside my head?
  • You have to save her!
  • Oh, what’s the matter? Are you afraid?
  • Of course he’s afraid! And he should be!
  • That’s what makes you a hero – doing what you’re afraid of.
  • She gave it to you because she nows you’re smart.
  • For her I will be strong.
  • You’re very clever to have found our little hideaway.
  • We have a method for spies and intruders not terribly different from bees in a hive.
  • My apologies for your imminent demise. 
  • It’s our lives or yours.
  • Here we are, nearly strangers from two worlds that’ve rarely met.
  • Somehow, you have made me someone new.
  • I’m asking if you will let me come with you.
  • I must be in a place of miracles.
  • A miracle you’ve brought to me.
  • All this time I’ve been certain that my life would be spent alone.
  • It’s time I’ve learned no love will be returned to one who’s born to be alone.
  • Now I know there’ll be no miracles for me.
  • No more need for a heart of stone.
  • Better to have a heart of stone.
  • Though we’ll set out for lands unkown, they’re lands we’ll share.
  • Will we find a haven once more?
  • Could there be a country kinder to our race?
  • Where’s my place of miracles?
  • I used to believe, in the days I was naive, that I’d live to see a day of justice dawn.
  • I’ll die while believing still.
  • Someday we may yet live to live and let let live.
  • Someday, life will be fairer.
  • Someday these dreams will all be real.
  • You must try to free yourself!
  • Quiet! Go away!
  • You’re the only one who can save her now.
  • You know what happens when I try to help. I only make things worse.
  • How do you know what I believe?
  • What do you know of all the things I feel?
  • Who is it that you see instead of seeing what I am for real?
  • You’re a liar!
  • Would that I were made of stone like you.
  • You give such good advice, so why has not one single word you’ve said been any help at all?
  • The more your dreams and fancies fill my head the farther that I fall.
  • If I were senseless, I’d prefer it.
  • I’ve wasted my faith believing in saints of plaster.
  • His words were cold as stone, but they were true.
  • Take all your lies and leave me alone.
  • We’ll trouble you no longer.
  • We’re only made of stone.
  • We just thought that you were made of something stronger.
  • Now I’m on my own, never again to wonder what’s out there.
  • Think of what I’ve offered. What is your answer?
  • Open the doors! Ram them through if you must!
  • How mch oppression will you allow?
  • Why not make someday come right now?
  • Oh, saints and monster, show your power!
  • You are home.
  • In my eyes, you are beautiful, too.
  • You’re such a good friend.
  • Is she dead?
  • Now we can finally go back to the way things were.
  • Now that she’s gone the poison dies with her.
  • We can go on as close as once we were.
  • No sanctuary without her!
  • I could have helped her. Even loved her.
  • Love? What do you know of love?
  • Who have you ever loved?
  • I loved… I loved my brother.
  • He was wicked, weak!
  • No – you are the weak one.
  • I told you – I am very strong!
  • You don’t want to hurt me!
  • The world is cruel. the world is ugly. But there are times and there are people when the world is not.
  • At it’s cruelest, it’s still the only world we’ve got.
  • Here is a riddle to guess if you can.
Dear Anonymous:

1. I hope she reacts well to your inclinations. I used to love someone like that too. I hope she loves you back. I hope you’re happy.

2. I just want to love too. I think soulmates work that way because life’s too short to be stuck to one person, but one person can change your whole perspective– one person is all it takes to fuel the rest of your life with passion. It’s always worth the rejection. We were built to break and rebuild. Sometimes heartbreak is the way in, but it’s also the way out. Timing is everything. Timing is everything… if you didn’t meet them when you weren’t ready, you’ll never be ready for someone else when they’re ready for you.

3. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay– love is love, right? Who cares if you’re in love with a she or a he, they’ll break you apart or keep you together. It’s such an odd thing. To die and live in a simple three word sentence.

4. A book? By the end of this year, it’ll happen.

5. I am from the darkest corner of your thoughts, the sun crawling through your curtains– I’m the cup of coffee that needs a fuck ton of sugar. I’m the distance we had to keep, I’m the apologies that made us weep.

6. An apology seems to be my only way to start the day as of lately. I’m sorry too.

7. Love is a coffee shop, we’re just the misplaced books. We’re the sentences, we’re the typos. I’ll be the incorrect emoji for the moment, if you’ll be the text sent to the wrong person. I’ll say I love you if you never say it back. I’ll love you if you don’t love me back. You can be sure about that. You can be sure about that…

8. My mind feels kinda broken, I guess we’re all kinda messed up sometimes.

9. This is not talent, this is hard work. Don’t confuse the two. I was not born with this, I woke up one morning like this. I will die with this, I will ink my whole life into your skin if you let me.

10. You loved them enough to let them go. There’s nothing more beautiful than that one simple realization. I will love you from afar and we’ll both grow. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? I don’t think it would’ve worked out anyway, we need this. This time spent apart, we need this. All of it.

11. “Don’t ever make someone your person when they don’t even know how to be their own.” Realest shit I ever read. Big ups.

12. I will never quit writing. She’s always reading. She’s always reading.

13. I’m sorry, I think we’re all in need of assistance. We can’t do it alone. Go out and make a few new friends. They’ll help. I promise.

14. Shit, I don’t know either. I wake up like that. It sucks, but you’ll figure out the truth eventually. I promise.

15. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. How can I answer you if I don’t even know the answers myself? I’m just human. I’m just like you. Nothing new here, just more human frailties.

16. It’s been a year plus, but I still love her too. We’re all missing someone, we just need an outlet.

17. Love doesn’t like to break even, love doesn’t like to remain still– love should feel like a few broken ribs, love should feel like a few torn heartstrings– but love should also feel delicate, love should also be soft.

18. I don’t know what language you’re speaking in, but I’m pretty sure it’s definition is beautiful. Stay beautiful.

19. I fade away every night. If you want to be nothing, I get it. It’s the easy way out. The shortcut to the end. Who doesn’t want that? But choosing to live, choosing to figure it out. That’s commendable. Always is. Always will be.

20. You need to let go of him because until you do… you’ll always be dependent of him. You’ll never be yourself. There is more oneness in loving yourself first versus oneness in loving someone for the sake of feeling whole. Love is an illusion.

21. If I am the Galaxy, then explain my black holes. How many times must I die before I feel like it’s time to live?

22. People can die from a broken heart, but people also forget that they’re a garden. You are the roses. You are the florist. You are the sun. You are the sun. You are the blossom. You are the growth. You are the bees. You grow into me, like how I’ll grow into you.

23. Thank you doesn’t even start to explain you.

24. Fear is a powerful tool for motivation. Use it wisely.

25. If you don’t want it to end, then write it down. Because some day, he might not be there. Some day, all you’ll have are those words. Nothing lasts forever and that’s just something that we must remember. How can you love yourself if you don’t keep that in mind?

26. I’m sorry. I’m not him. I’m not you. How can I possibly give you some ending? We’re all looking for more poison to fill our veins with.

27. I slept for 24 hours, but I’m still tired.

28. It’s hard to backtrack too.

29. It ends when your heart gives out on you. It ends when your search hits a brick walls it ends when your lights dim just enough for you to read the truth etched into your skin like a story that was never supposed to be told. We were meant to feel the love stories, but we could never keep the last page from ringing true. The truth is I love you too.

30. I’ll let you know right now. I am not your ex. And if in some way, I am… then know that no one is out to get you. The only person that’s doing that is you. Waking up to fear is no way to live. Letting go… it’s an excellent start.

31. My opinion on loving someone that doesn’t love you back anymore is this: if you’re doing it. Stop. Just stop. Save yourself some time. Stop yourself from that mistake. It doesn’t end well for you. It doesn’t end well for your emotions. Start with you. It’s a good place.

32. I’m not Filipino.

33. Hello.

34. Pretty crimson leaves used for a pretty crimson sneeze.

35. We’ll never be the same. Change is the only way to live your life.

36. I’m from the same place that all poets were born into. A Silk Road of heartbreaks and slow songs.

37. We’re all unique. From your first thought of today to your DNA.

38. Maybe kiss him today? Fuck it. Life’s too short. Let the make out sessions begin.

39. My thoughts sink us into tomorrow.

40. They say that the smaller you write, the more you care about others. The bigger you write, the more love you’ve got for yourself.

41. I’m afraid that you’re right.

42. There’s always beauty in loneliness. The way he reads that book from across the street. The way she pulls back her hair to drink her tea. The way they fell in love made yesterday like a today we’ll never share.

43. The question is the answer.

44. I’ll call you some day.

45. I’m looking for myself. Shouldn’t we all?

46. You’re a beautiful creature too.

47. Two strangers? The start of every love story.

48. You can call me K.C.

49. Twice by Madeline Stauffer

50. Nothing is wrong with you. There is only more to love.

51. And that’s exactly why I’m answering all of them in this post.

52. I changed my URL because I wanted it to be less about her and more about me.

53. Take a break and walk around. Artificial lighting can hurt us. The sun’s good too.

54. No comment.

55. I’m a robot.

56. I don’t answer anonymous asks anymore because how can I help others if I can’t even help myself kinda realization. My apologies.

57. Poetry about being viewed for only sex… hmm… you sound like somebody I know.

58. Pick yourself first. Always pick yourself.

59. Don’t die. Do not die. There’s so much more out there.

60. Sticking to yourself is a good start.

61. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s only more to love.

62. I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out myself actually.

63. I’ll draw more once my mind is less exhausted.

64. There’s nothing wrong with reading poetry.

65. Love is something that’s immensely felt and hard to measure.

66. I’m trying to be more than just another broken heart.

67. I feel like a disappointment to myself constantly. We’re too hard on ourselves. It sucks.

68. Maybe they should profess their love to each other?

69. I’m sorry.

70. You should listen to your mother. If she’s your guardian, respect her wishes until you’re of age.

71. Drinking and smoking– there’s nothing wrong with it. Although it is nice to give your body a break here and there.

72. I think you’re right.

73. You need to lean on yourself. Remember that people need space from us. People need room to breathe. You can’t smother them.

74. I love you too.

75. I’m sorry. Maybe you should stay away from him. You’re obviously catching feelings when you shouldn’t.

76. Falling in love with your best friend? That sounds terrific tbh.

77. Are you alive? Suicide isn’t the answer.

78. I’m sorry. You need to give yourself some time to heal. Maybe you’re not ready for love.

79. Sometimes I think I’ll die at an early age too.

80. I love them both.

81. All love stories should hold mysteries.

82. Life is full of regrets– you just need to pick the right ones to live with.

83. You deserve to love yourself first.

84. I’m sorry. Empathy is a bitch, isn’t it?

85. “But it’s the way she smiles, like every bullet missed her…” the only way to smile.

86. I would never give up this part of me.

87. I understand. Give yourself more time.

88. Because people are just as lost as you are.

89. I’m trying to be better. I promise.

90. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

91. Who hasn’t fucked up? It’s learning to be better… that’s the only thing that fucking matters. You’re still here, right?

92. Hold his hand and call him yours.

93. I’m sorry. I can barely understand myself. How can I explain you for who you are?



94. You say that I’m a little harsh. Life is rough. Why would I sugarcoat the truth?
—  The truth about you
“And Then She Ran” Daryl Dixon

Words: 2,023

Summary: After Daryl’s daughter dies, he finds her diary and learns more about her than he wanted.

Warnings: This is dark. Death, some swear words, angst

A/N lol I cried writing this

Link to part 2 here!

-

Daryl can still remember his daughter’s death like it was yesterday.

It was her on her eighteenth birthday. Daryl, not one to show his emotions, had gone out of his comfort zone that day to make sure it was a special one. He’d had Carol over to cook her favorite breakfast (at least, her favorite out of the few options they had), and while on a previous run, he found her a beautiful diamond necklace in a house that was still in good shape. He managed to find some paper to cover it with. He had everything ready to go. It was not often that she got to feel like she was special.

They had a fight that day. This was not just any normal fight, not like the ones that they usually had. And they had fights often. This fight was different.

Everyone had noticed that she had been acting differently lately. Nobody brought it up with her, but everyone knew something was wrong. Daryl was the last one to catch on, and when he finally convinced her to tell him what was going on… It turned into the worst fight they’d ever had.

She had run off after that fight, but Daryl didn’t pay any mind to that. She had a habit of “running away” for a few hours. The first few times she did that, Daryl freaked out. He looked for her up and down until the minute she came home. Usually she came home drunk, which would just piss Daryl off more, but at least she was ok. So after a few times of her pulling that act, Daryl stopped worrying.

“She’ll be back soon.” Daryl told himself that day, not bothering to run after her.

She didn’t come back. As a matter of fact, she never came back. A few days after her disappearance, Rick, Daryl, and Glenn went out looking for her. In her place, they saw something they wish they never saw.

She was dead. She was a walker.

Daryl broke down after that, crying harder than he had in his entire life. He just lost his little girl. When he got back to their house later that night, he grabbed the necklace and threw it out the window, sobbing.

It took Daryl a while to be okay after that. In reality, he knew he’d never be okay, but he was okay enough to move on. It took almost a year before he could even go into her room again. It smelled like her; he could almost feel her presence in there. That was comforting for the first few days, until he realized he was never getting her back. She was gone.

-

This was the first time he’d been in your room since that night. Daryl took in the surroundings- it was a mess in here.

‘She was definitely not a tidy person.” Daryl thought to himself, laughing softly. He sat on the bed, taking a deep breath.

“I shouldn’t be in here.” He said out loud to himself, getting up to leave. But something stopped him. He noticed a notebook nudged in between the mattress and the floor. Hesitating, he picked it up and opened it to the first page.

‘I’d been caught with Carl more times than you could imagine.

At first it wasn’t anyone important catching us, only people like Maggie or Glenn who I knew wouldn’t say anything. Then, Rick found out. Rick was pissed, and told Carl to stay away from me.   “She’s too much trouble, Carl. Don’t get involved with her.” Rick had told him. I know he doesn’t like me. He only tolerates me because I’m his best friend’s daughter. I know he’d kick me out of the group if he could. So when he promised me that he wouldn’t tell my dad if we stopped while we were ahead, I agreed. I cried, and told him I’d keep it friendly between the two of us.

Carl didn’t listen. I didn’t either. I just played it up so he wouldn’t tell my dad. We just found other places to sneak around to and have sex.

But, oh boy. The look on my dad’s face that day when he saw me on top of Carl, clothes scattered everywhere. I hadn’t seen him scream that loud at anyone in his life. Daryl Dixon is not a man to piss off. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to write in this but I’ll try to as much as possible. Don’t exactly get too much free time around here.’

Daryl knew he shouldn’t be reading his daughter’s diary, but he couldn’t stop himself. Despite the conditions of the world forcing them to be together all the time, he knew absolutely nothing about his daughter except that she and Carl were together and that she was good with a gun.

A part of him knew it didn’t matter anymore. She was dead.

He turned to the next entry.

My dad is keeping me on a leash now. He’s mad at me. I don’t care. Carl’s the only person that genuinely makes me happy. My dad doesn’t make me happy. He just wants to control me.

I know this put a damper in his friendship with Rick. Rick’s saying it’s all my fault because I’m a bad influence. My dad stood up for me, but I know deep down he agrees. I’m a “problem child.” I have attitude. I’m dramatic. I like to venture out on my own and go explore, sometimes bringing Carl with me so we can have alone time.

I know my dad wishes he had a better daughter. Sometimes I wish I was. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born, and that my mom gave birth to a different kid. A kid that wasn’t me. I bet my dad would love that. He hates me.

My 18th birthday is in two weeks. I don’t know if legalities matter anymore in this world, but I’ll be an adult. I want to be treated like one. I want off this leash. I want to be allowed to be with Carl without being told no.

I won’t stop seeing him.’

The more Daryl read that, the more his heart broke. He never knew that she thought he didn’t care. Tears starting forming in his eyes, but he wiped them away quickly. He refuses to cry about anything anymore.

‘I’m sick. I can’t stop throwing up everywhere. It’s odd, because I feel fine other than when it just hits me out of nowhere, and no one else is sick beside me.

I refuse to even think about the other option. I’m sick, that’s all.

I got to kill a lot of walkers today. I haven’t got to do that in a while. It felt nice to hold a gun again. Carl is sweet with me. He’s always making sure I’m okay, being protective and all. He loves me, he told me that today. I think I love him too.’

Daryl didn’t know Carl and her were that serious. He thought they were just hormonal teenagers, doing things that teenagers done. He didn’t know there was feelings there. That was an odd thing for Daryl to imagine, love. He hadn’t ever felt it for a girl that wasn’t family.

‘It’s confirmed. I’m pregnant. I did something to piss off my dad, so then it would start a fight, and I ran off without him trying to find me. If I ran off without a reason he’d be suspicious.

I found the tests in the town over. It wasn’t a long walk, but the coldness was getting to me. I ran home, and hid the box in my coat.

My dad didn’t even look at me as I walked past him.

I don’t know how I’m going to tell Carl. God, how am I going to tell anyone? My dad? Rick? I don’t understand how this happened. He pulled out every time. We didn’t use condoms, they’re not exactly easy for either of us to obtain, but I thought pulling out worked, too. I guess I was wrong.

I suppose I didn’t really have anyone to teach me this stuff.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m sitting here writing in a diary like a little girl for God’s sake.’

Tears spilling, Daryl slammed the diary shut. He couldn’t read anymore. He stormed off the bed, and punches the wall near him.

“Daryl?” Rick appeared. Daryl turned his body to face him, ready to break at any moment.

“She thought I hated her.” Daryl says slowly, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

“I doubt she thought you hated her. She knew you loved her. You wouldn’t have gotten so protective of her if you didn’t love her.”

“Rick, I foun’ her diary… I shouldn’t have read it, but I did. She said she wished she wasn’t born because she thought she wasn’t a good enough daughter for me.”

Rick could see the man in front of him, broken to pieces. He felt for him.

“I’m going to finish reading it, I think.” Daryl said after a few moments of silence. Rick took that a que that he wanted to be left alone, and made his way out of the room.

Daryl’s hands shook as he reached for the small, brown notebook once more. Turning it to the last entry she made, he took a deep breath and continued reading.

‘I told Carl.

He took it okay. We were in the middle of eating breakfast that Carol had made for the group when I pulled him outside to talk. He was mostly freaked out. I don’t know if he was more freaked out at the fact that he was going to be a father, or the fact that he would have to tell HIS father. But in the end, he knew his father would be supporting regardless. He gave me a real big kiss and told me we would get through this together.  

I told him I didn’t want to tell anyone until I told my dad first. I’m telling him today. It’s my birthday. I figured it’s as good of a day as any to tell him.

I found the necklace he got me. The paper he had it all wrapped in was torn and it was falling out. It was beautiful. I’ve never seen anything to beautiful in my life. I don’t think my dad’s ever gotten me a gift. It makes me happy. Not because its material, but because it’s meaningful. I don’t get attention from him like this. It makes me want to cry.

Stupid pregnancy. Makes me emotional.

I can’t wait for him to give it to me. I feel like maybe it’s his idea of trying to open up to me. If he’s willing, I’m willing.

I have this idea that if my baby turns out to be a girl, I want to give the necklace to her when she gets older. I want to keep it in the family. If we live long enough for that.

I love this baby so much already. I’d do anything for him or her, I can already feel it.

I’m going to tell him whenever he gets back from doing whatever he’s doing. I know he’s going to kill me. I’m getting anxiety about telling him. I considered just not telling him at all, letting him figure out on his own that he’s going to be a grandfather. But I need to tell him. I’ll write in this later and-“

It stops mid-sentence, not continuing. Daryl notices stains on the side of the paper, a puke-ish color, like she got sick while writing that and forgot about it.

He slowly closes the journal, mind numb. He knew the rest of the story.

-

He had home early from checking out a possible un-scavenged pharmacy with Glenn when he saw her sitting outside, deep in thought.

“How did it go?” She had asked him, attempting to build up a conversation with him before dropping the bomb.

“Overrun by walkers, but mostly un-touched. Rick’s sending in a team tomorrow to clear the place out.”

“Awesome,” She had said blankly.

“Look, I know we’re not the perfect example of a father daughter relationship, but if somethings wrong I need you to tell me.” Daryl told her, taking a seat next to her.

“Dad, I’m pregnant.”

Daryl looked over at her in shock. Her eyes were rimmed with tears, and her stomach felt nauseous, although she wasn’t sure if that was from more morning sickness or the anticipation of waiting for his response.

“You’re jokin’, right?” He looked at her dead in the eye. All she could do was stare at him.

“Fuck.” He cursed, getting up from next to her. “How could you do that? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“It’s not like we wanted this, dad!” She was angry.

“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna rip his head off.” Daryl was fuming.

“Dad, please-“

“God, I don’ understand, why couldn’t you have just been a good kid? Why do you gotta run around causin’ problems for everyone. I shouldn’t even be surprised.”

He had hit a nerve. She looked at him, no response. He looked at her one last time before storming into the house, slamming the door shut.

“I’ll never let anything happen to you.” She talked to her baby, rubbing her stomach. She was so angry that she forgot to grab her gun.

And then she ran.