i feel like i should explain

does anyone else feel like….idk how to explain it….like completely disconnected from life around them? constantly going “these are my friends” and “this is my home” and “this is my life” and “this is my body” to remind yourself that you’re not just some timeless floating essence and even those mantras are completely useless and you almost never come down from it and you’re feeling like….everything is real but also completely fake at the same time

Every Possible Past

Lars sat with his knees pulled close to his body, leaning against the rough-hewn surface of the kindergarten wall. He trailed his finger through the thin coating of dirt on the rockbed floor. He drew distracted shapes and wrote out words and names in the dirt, all of which he wiped clean and started anew, his brow furrowed.

Pad watched from behind. Unseeable, her eye flickered between Lars and the drawings in the dirt. She picked up the hem of her dress and moved to his side, sitting down with only a few inches of space between them. Lars said nothing. Pad didn’t either, for a while.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Me? Nothing,” Lars muttered. He erased a smiling sun and started anew. “Thinking.”

“…About?” Pad asked after a moment of hesitation.

“Stuff,” he answered. He picked his hand up from the dirt, seemingly lost for what to do. “Like, about this. Here.” Lars motioned to the rock walls stretching too high to measure, filtering through just enough light to see the rock dust trailing through the air, large and enveloping. “Where I’m stuck. Forever, maybe. And I’m thinking about if just…if I coulda avoided any of this if I’d just stopped being a coward sooner. That ‘stuff’.”

“Oh,” Pad answered. She stuck her own finger in the dirt, tracing squiggles. “No, you couldn’t have. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Lars blinked. “I didn’t even explain.”

“You’re concerned that your fate may have been avoided if you had helped Steven escape from Topaz sooner.” Pad added her own smiley face among the squiggles in the dirt. “Or perhaps if you had saved your blond friend on the ship when Aquamarine and Topaz descended upon you.”

Lars straightened, back against the stone wall. Then he pushed himself standing. “How do you know this stuff?”

Pad paused, her finger trailing midway through the dust. “Oh. Oh of course. My future vision is broken. It can only see the past.”

“So you can see…what, everything that happened?”

“And everything that might have happened. Like an endless tree.” She stood, and dusted herself off. “Most Sapphires can see all the possible things that might happen. I can only see the things that might have happened.”

Lars swallowed, and he stammered, and slowly he found the words. “The things that might have happened.”

“Yes.”

“So you can tell me what would have happened to me if I’d done this differently.”

“Oh, yes!”

“What would have happened if uh…what if I had helped Sadie when she needed help on the ship?”

Pad remained silent for a few seconds. A hollow wind blew through the caverns. “Ah yes, I see that vision now. You would have plummeted into the water with all the human others. And Steven would have vanished on the ship. You would have returned solemnly to your home. The next morning, you would have entered into a building with a large ring on the top.”

“The Big Donut.”

“Yes. That’s what the sign would have said.”

“What about Sadie?”

Another few seconds of silence. Pad clasped her hands together. “She would be there too. But you would not speak much with her. The disappearance of Steven would have left you both in turmoil.”

Lars wrung his hands together. “Okay… okay okay. That would have happened a couple days ago, yeah? What would be happening right now? If I was home? Where would I be?”

Pad shook her head. “Oh. I can’t see the possible presents.”

Lars licked his lips. Then he nodded. “Okay so…if I asked you tomorrow, would you be able to tell me what would have happened today? If I never left home?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, I would be able to tell you that.”

“Okay. Okay then.” Lars leaned against the wall, sinking slowly down it. He patted the dusty ground beside him. “If you’ve got some time now. Then could you tell me what um—if I had gotten off that ship, and stayed home—what would I have done yesterday?”

Pad picked up the hem of her dress and dropped into the offered spot. She fell silent a few moments before her mouth opened. “You would have returned to your place of work once more—the Big Donut. And you would have spoken to Sadie. She would have been difficult to console, as would you, but you would have triumphed eventually. She would have laughed at a humorous remark you found from the internet. This would have made you proud.”

Ten years pass quickly for Gems, not so much for humans. Lars wasn’t sure how these last ten years had passed for him, slow and fast at the same time. His physical body has not changed much, though his hair has grown much longer.

Lars leaned his back against the rough stone wall, free of dust now, and he waited for Pad to appear by his side.

When she did, Lars sunk to the ground, knees against his chest, and patted the same spot as always—as he did every day—for Pad to sit.

“So…tell me about yesterday. If I had stayed home, what would have happened yesterday?” Lars asked with urgency. It was the same question he had asked every day of the last ten years, but he was anxious now. He knew what might occur.

Pad smiled. She clasped her hands together. “You would have taken Sadie out to a food place along the beach. It would have been the one she told you she loved as a small human. And you would have taken that polished and cut stone out of your pocket, in the soft black box, and you would have presented it to her. You would have lowered yourself onto one knee first, and unfurled the box, and said, ‘Sadie, would you marry me?’”

Lars’s heart pounded in his ears. He swallowed dryly, leaning in. “What would she have said?”

“She would have said ‘Of course Lars. Of course.’”

Lars let out a strained breath, a noise of relief, or perhaps disbelief. He blinked harder, and leaned back against the wall, and traced his hand through the dirt. “Oh my god… Oh my god she would have said yes. She would have said yes.”

“Yes, she would have,” Pad answered.

The noise Lars made was soft, and wet, and it echoed out. Bouncing against the vast and dark heights of the kindergarten walls, absorbed and deflected in the cold hollow shells of Gems long extracted. And then it was lost to the cavern, that isolated and dark sealed off place. Inescapable.

A hollow wind replaced it.

Lars’s hand traced the shape of a heart in the dust, and the small strained noises from his throat dried up until only tears leaked down his cheeks. His hand stopped once it trembled too hard to trace anything more.

Made another Alex because I am weak and remembered that SOTD is a thing soon.. 

Bonus gif because it is 18 August and that means that its my blue food loving son of poseidon has existed another full year!!! And I am relieved he is still alive and salty like he should be.

Adding to canon is not the same thing as destroying canon

At San Diego Comic Con, we learned that Sonequa Martin-Green’s character, Michael Burnham, is Sarek’s adoptive daughter. The second I heard the news, all I could think was, “Let the hate begin.” And boy, did it ever.

I understand the disappointment, particularly with fan fic writers who invested a lot of time and effort into crafting stories that fit neatly into canon. Amazing how one sound bite can bulldoze right through decades of widely accepted fanon, huh?

Keep reading

Imagine Bill letting it slip that you are dating during an interview.

Originally posted by skarsgardaddict

“So here we also have a photo of-” Jimmy paused, taking a look at the screen, just like Bill, and the entire audience that went crazy and started cheering and clapping the moment they saw you.

Bill himself chuckled as he took in the sight of you looking stunning as ever in your red dress, standing on your tiptoes even if you were wearing high heels to kiss his cheek; one hand on his chest and the other on your shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around your waist and the other cupping your cheek. 

He didn’t even know how they had managed to snap that photo because it wasn’t exactly in front of the cameras. You had mostly been standing on the side with his brothers, and great friends of yours, and he had rushed to you to get that good luck kiss. He didn’t expect there to be evidence of that so he was glad he’d kept himself from kissing you properly on the lips.

“(Y/n) and you.” he completed with a smile, glancing for a moment at the enthusiastic audience “You two-” he turned back to the actor “You two are great friends right? I’m- I’m just asking because that could, you know, be misinterpreted by some.” he motioned to the photo, giving a look at the audience and everybody laughed at that.

Keep reading

I know you’re not sorry. And I know you’re not miserable like I wanted. But I also know that the way you looked at me that time I woke you up in the middle of the night to make you explain time travel was genuine love. And you’ll never feel that again. So maybe in the end, I’m the one that should be sorry.
CASTIEL AND HIS SACRED OATH - 12x10, 12x12, 12x23

This scene here. This split second glance is so so important. I don’t know why people aren’t talking about it (I couldn’t even find any gifs of it and had to take pictures coz I’m computerly incompitent). But I wanted to give my own analytical response to this millisecond glance, because I think it demonstrates properly why Cas has never done anything about his feelings for Dean. 

First, some context from my behalf: I always assumed Cas had never admitted his love for Dean for one of two reasons, 1) he was an angel, therefore not quite understanding his feelings himself - perhaps confusing them with familial love, Dean style. Or 2) he was afraid his love may not be reciprocated. But after watching 12x10, 12x12 and 12x23, I can thoroughly rule out reason 1. 

Now, I’ll be talking a lot about 12x10 as that ENTIRE EPISODE and THIS LOOK are so closely correlated. 

Keep reading

eddie but with body dysmorphia

-so eddie has always been small

-compact, if you will

-and he secretly liked being small, being able to fit in people’s (richie’s) arms so well, finding the tiniest of spots to hide during hide and seek

-but one day while after he got to high school, sometime after he hit puberty, something changed in him

-he got taller and thicker and he wasn’t enjoying it

-he started to feel like he was taking up too much space

-he kept these thoughts to himself, as he does with most everything

-but they all notice eventually

-he won’t sit on bill’s shoulders to play chicken anymore

-won’t let stan give him piggyback rides

-before he started seeing himself this way he used to borrow bev’s sweaters all the time but now he refuses because he’s convinced he’ll stretch them out

-he won’t ride on the back of mike’s bike when they travel around town

-and richie especially notices when eddie won’t let him wrap his arms around his waist anymore

-at first richie thought eddie was slowly distancing himself

-trying to slip away

-he was so hurt when eddie refused to cuddle or change in front of him

-he goes to bev, who is obviously one of his best friends,

-“i just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore you know? he won’t let me touch him like ever”

-“richie, can’t you see it? it’s not you, it’s him. he feels bad about himself, he’s got body dysmorphia”

-and of course she then had to explain what that term actually means

-but then it all comes together in the old trashmouth’s head

-“you’re a godsend, marsh. what would i do without you?”

-“crash and burn”

-so he goes to eddie, not knowing if he should confront him straight up or wait til eddie says something himself

-but that’s obviously never gonna happen so plan b

-they’re chilling in richie’s room, doing homework

-richie puts his math book down and starts kissing eddie’s neck

-“rich, stop, i’ve got work to do”

-then he starts playing with eddie’s hair

-“richie you’re distracting me”

-“you’re so beautiful, eds. i love you so much”

-“shut up, trashmouth. don’t call me that”

-richie starts slowly moving his hands around eddie’s shoulders and then slipping them under his sweater

-“i mean it, babe. you’re just so beautiful, i can’t believe i wasted all that time being your friend when i could’ve been-“

-“beep fucking beep richie! i don’t want to play right now”

-“why won’t you let me touch you, eddie?”

-and eddie has to pinch the bridge of his nose

-“i have work to do”

-“i don’t mean just now. i mean ever. we don’t hug, or cuddle or make out, we haven’t been together in weeks”

-“that’s what you’re fucking worried about? that i’m not having sex with you?”

-“no you stupid idiot i’m worried that you’re gonna start hurting yourself because you think you’re fat”

-“what are you even talking about”

-“i’m not stupid, eddie. you’re wearing baggy clothes, you only eat green shit, you won’t let me see you without a shirt on….for some reason you hate yourself and that’s fucking ridiculous because you’re probably the most attractive person i’ve ever met in my life”

-eddie doesn’t know what to say because he never thought richie would figure it out

-“i love you, eddie. you. the way you are. i love your floppy hair and your sparkly eyes, i love how you can be kinda squishy in the middle, i love your arms and your legs….dear god eddie your ass is literally out of this world”

-and eddie laughs through his tears

-“i don’t want you to change, i don’t want you to start to disappear”

-eddie takes richie’s dorky face into his little hands and kisses the tip of his nose

-“i’m not gonna go anywhere. i love you, trashmouth”

-“i love you too eddie spaghetti”

cool i’m in pain

7

Imagine experiencing EVERY emotion at its fullest. AT ONCE.

Emotional overdose.

I’d also like to imagine that Ink already did that, too, at some point. Also emotional hangovers afterwards.

Since Pale never had enough of this stuff to be able to stockpile it, he’s used to use it all in one go. He knows no modesty when it comes to this. |D

I already replied to a similar ask, explaining that I think Ink basically consumes liquid creativity in order to feel, which is exactly the essence of every AU, which Pale drains off of AUs. But doing a comic is fun, too, I guess. c:

married part 4- h.s imagine

part 1

part 2 

part 3 

Harry sighed as he walked into his apartment. The last place he wanted to be at right now was his home. In reality, he wish he never walked out of your apartment. You were right. Your world didn’t revolve around him. He should’ve realized that he wasn’t the center of your universe. He should’ve let you tell him all about your date. “I’ll just talk to her in the morning,” he thought while he started to walk to his and Kimberly’s room.

“Where’d you go?” a voice called out. Harry halted mid-step. He turned around to see Kimberly sitting in the living room, her arms crossed over her chest. Harry bit his bottom lip, beginning to walk towards her. “I went to Y/N’s. Listen baby, I’m sorry I said-”

“You were with Y/N?” Kimberly asked, her voice laced with bitterness. Harry’s eyebrows quickly furrowed together as he sat down on the spot next to her. Kimberly was quick to move away, beginning to pace around. “I always go to her when I need to talk to someone.” Harry added, suddenly feeling the need to explain himself.

Kimberly quickly turned around to face Harry. “I’m your wife, Harry! Don’t you think you should be talking to me whenever you have a problem?” Harry’s cheeks immediately heated up,looking down at his fidgeting fingers, “We got into a fight. I just wanted Y/N’s opinion.”

Kimberly let out what was mixed between a scoff and a laugh. “As if we can trust her opinion.” Harry quickly stood up, feeling like he needed to stick up for his best friend. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Kimberly eyes widened, her head shaking, “How could you be so oblivious, Harry! The girl is in love with you!”

Harry quickly shook his head, “She’s my best friend, Kimberly! How could you accuse her of something like that!”

Kimberly crossed her arms once more before she sat back down on the couch. “I’m supposed to be your best friend.” She shook her head as she stared at the ground. “I notice the way she looks at you. She looks at you like it’s just you two in the room. She listens to every word you say. She puts your needs before hers! Everyone sees it! Everyone but you!” Harry remained silent as he sat down next to Kimberly, his palms beginning to sweat.

“Didn’t you notice how sad she was at the wedding?” Kimberly whispered as she placed her hand on top of Harry’s. Harry closed his eyes. “No…no. I’m her best friend. She was just happy for me. They were happy tears.”

Kimberly sat further into the couch. “Harry, they were tears because the guy she was in love with was marrying someone else.”


You were sitting in your kitchen. A cup of tea in front of you that was now cold. You sighed as you heard a knock on your door. You wiped a tear that fell from frustration from your fight with Harry. When you opened the door, there stood Harry at your doorstep for the second time tonight. Harry was giving you a look that sent shivers down your spine. He let himself into your apartment. You closed the door behind him, “Listen Harry, I’m sorry for-”

Harry spun around to face you, his breathing becoming harder and harsher. “Are you in love with me?”

Your eyes widened. Your secret that you kept for years was finally out. Your eyes quickly scanned Harry’s, trying to get some sense of how he was feeling. When you didn’t answer Harry, he immediately knew what your answer was. He ran his hand over his face as he took a deep breath. “How long?”

You suddenly felt so small. Your arms crossed, as if they were trying to protect yourself. You never wanted Harry to find out. You thought if he ever did find out, the two of you would be old and gray’ you would have a husband and the thought of once being in love with Harry would seem funny. Now, you felt nothing but shame for ever growing feelings for your best friend.

You took a deep breath, your eyes threatening to spill out tears. “Since we were 18,” you whispered. Now it was time for Harry to gasp. “18!” He repeated, his hand slamming down on the counter. You visibly winced, you closed your eyes as your arms tightened around your body.

“5 years! You’ve been in love with me for 5 years!” Harry shouted. He began to pace around your living room, pulling on his hair out of frustration. Harry looked back at you, his eyes softening at your trembling body as you cried. “Why didn’t you tell me,” Harry whispered so softly that you almost didn’t hear. You looked up at the ceiling, tears falling from your face, “I didn’t want to ruin what we had Harry! Our friendship…it was so beautiful! So…real! I was afraid that if I told you or if you somehow you found out, it would ruin everything.”

Harry looked down, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears. He looked up at you and took a deep breath, “You should’ve told me, Y/N. If you told me…things would’ve been different.” You let out a quiet scoff as you stared at the ground. Harry came closer to you. He placed his hand on your cheek, causing you to look up at him. Harry leant his forehead against yours, “I’ve been in love with you all my life.”

You let out a small gasp before Harry continued, “I’ve been in love with you…for so long, Y/N. But I knew someone like you would never be in love with someone like me.” Harry opened his eyes as he grabbed your hands. “You’re so..beautiful. You’re so compassionate and kind to the world. How could I not fall in love with you?” Harry chuckled through his tears. You looked into Harry’s eyes that were filled with nothing but sadness.

“If I knew that you loved me…I would be married to you right now.” Harry whispered. You let out a sob as you rested your head against Harry’s chest. Harry wrapped his arms around you as he looked up, trying to stop crying. “But I’m with Kimberly. And I fell in love with her too.”

You nodded your head as you buried your face more into Harry’s chest. For what felt like an eternity, the two of you held on to each other as if this was the last time you guys would be seeing each other.


Niall let himself into your apartment. He placed his bag down as he quietly made his way into your bedroom. He sighed as he saw the plate of food he left out for you remained untouched. As he came closer to your bed, he noticed the tear stains on your face as you were asleep. He sighed, feeling the same sympathy he did for you when Harry got married. Niall grabbed a blanket you kept on your bed and placed it over you before he left your room.

When Harry left your apartment that night, you immediately called Niall and struggled to tell him what happened between your sobs. Niall tried assuring you that everything would be okay. He tried telling you that this was just a bump; that somehow you and Harry would get past this. But it’s been two weeks and Harry hasn’t tried contacting you since.

Niall was sitting on the couch in you living room when you finally came out of your room. You sat down on the spot next to him, bringing your knees up to your chest. Niall placed his phone down. “I brought some food.” He said as he nodded towards the bag on the counter. You were staring at the wall in front of you. You let out a quiet “thanks.”

Niall bit his bottom lip, trying to think of what to say. He glanced at his phone and smiled. “Your birthday’s tomorrow. That’s exciting isn’t it?”

You shrugged your shoulders. Niall sighed, “Would you like to do anything? I can clear my schedule. Maybe we can go to-”

“I don’t really want to do anything. Thank you though, Niall.” You said quietly. Niall nodded his head as he scooted further into the couch.

Eventually Niall left. He placed a kiss on your head and a promise that he’ll be back tomorrow. Your eyes shifted to the clock on the wall. 11:34PM

With the time ticking closer and closer to 12, you could feel your anxiety bouncing off the walls. Harry has never missed the tradition of coming to your place for your birthday with a home made cake. Surely he wouldn’t miss it because of what happened.

Right?

You looked at the clock again. 12PM. It was officially your birthday. You stared at the door, hoping that Harry would burst in. Your eyes began to water when you realized it wasn’t going to happen. Tears began to fall off your face as your tradition was broken. You placed your head into your hands. Of course he wasn’t coming. Just because he knew you loved him, he wasn’t going to leave his wife for you. You were his past, Kimberly was his present. Stupid girl you thought.


Harry glanced at the time on his phone. He sighed as he looked at the cake he made earlier in front of him. He grabbed the cake and threw it into the trash can before he went back to bed.


i have never been so excited to write this! thank you guys so much for the constant love for married! it means the absolute world that you guys like it! i love hearing from you guys! let me know what you thought!

you can find the rest of my writing here

you can find part 5 here

anonymous asked:

What if Stiles and Derek's first kiss is post-nogitsune? Would he feel like a thief? Would he mourn the body that Derek never held? Would each brush of fingertips or kiss to his temple be a betrayal? They'd probably talk about the scars too. Derek would understand-- to an extent. But he grew up not without his history on his skin so he'll never understand how it feels to have that ripped away.

Their lips brush and Stiles turns away a second later, breaths shallow, hands twitching against the folds of Derek’s shirt. There’s warm breath on his cheek, the ghost of beard still so close and all Stiles can think is that he wants this. He wants this. And…

It’s wrong.

Those fingers, twitching against Derek’s shirt, smooth and uncalloused. The scar that used to live above his third knuckle just a burn-hot memory in his mind.

Everything still feels off in his body, out of balance, and he remembers the way Derek used to look at him. All tension and frustration in ways he couldn’t start to make sense of. And now Derek’s lips are in reach, a short turn away, and he’s murmuring out “Stiles…?” and all Stiles can think is…

“Do you want me?”

He can feel the stall in Derek’s thoughts like a physical reaction, and he wonders if there was a subtle tell or if… if he’d just felt it, inside, the confusion a flicker of chaos in Derek’s chest. Can he do that? Feel chaos? The Nogitsune drank it in and Stiles…

“Stiles,” Derek breathes again, a quirk of amusement in his tone. Thumbs smooth down his hips and Stiles fights the urge to rise into the contact. “Thought I’d just answered that question.”

And Stiles could leave it at that, asked and answered. Except…

There should be a scar on his hip, long and thin, from a fence he’d scaled once and dropped down five times faster. Derek should be feeling that right now, that piece of Stiles’ history, that stupid ten year old adventure laid out across his skin. But the skin’s smooth. Blank slate.

He shivers, gripping tighter into Derek’s shirt.

“No, I––” He can’t think of how to explain it. The thoughts are a choked feeling in his throat, a twist in his gut. Something like guilt and fear and he doesn’t even know what answer he wants when he leans back enough to find Derek’s eyes and say: “Since when? Did you… I mean, before…”

He’s not sure Derek knows what he means, but there’s a hint of flush under that dark beard suddenly, and Stiles gets a little bit lost in the contrast.

“Last summer.”

“Last––?” It pulls Stiles back, his eyes startling up. That was… most of a year, that was before…

A sick lurch sets him falling back out of Derek’s grip. Too-smooth fingers (uncalloused) slip too easy from Derek’s chest. His sneaker-covered feet might as well be walking over glass and he’s being dramatic except that he’s really not. Because if Derek wanted him last summer…

“That wasn’t me.” It sounds wrong as he says it, stupid, because… he was there that summer. He remembers every moment spent with Derek, researching the Alphas, searching for hints of Boyd and Erica. Charged smirks and snark and quiet moments that felt more comfortable than they should. He remembers the moments before summer too, when the thought of Derek made his heart pound and his body thrum in a way that could have only meant fear, except it hadn’t only been fear. He’d been scared of the Alpha too, and the hunters, and that coil of electric heat only sparked through his gut for Derek. He remembers that, like he remembers the scars that aren’t there anymore, and he can’t help running his too-soft fingertips over the smooth flesh of his knuckle as he breathes out, faint and lost, “…Was that me?”

There’s a too long pause while the question burns back into his throat, buzzing through his limbs like a current until he realizes he’s shaking from them. Was that him? Helping Derek track the Alpha pack? Helping Scott learn to control his wolf? Sitting by his mom’s hospital bed, watching her lose the long war to her illness, pieces of her flaking away like old scars, like a whole identity, like––

A warm hand closes over his, large and gentle, grounding.

“It was you,” Derek says, simply. Like there’s no question, like nothing’s changed. Like Stiles hasn’t changed. 

But that’s wrong. He’s not the same person he was before the Nogitsune, and he’s not talking in the experiences change you, huh kind of way. He’d had scars before. He’d had… a whole life written on his skin. And then he’d crawled out from inside his possessed body’s throat, spawned out like some alien parasite or… clone and––

“My body died, back there.” Four months past, and he still can’t wrap his head around it. That he’d watched himself bitten and impaled, spasm and cracking and shatter to dust.

The scarred body. His real body.

And he was left in… this.

Long fingers uncurl, stretching out slow. Thin, pale digits fitting strangely perfect between Derek’s, and Stiles can only wonder what it would have looked like before.

“…What if I’m not real?” He watches Derek’s fingers twitch, barely perceptible, tightening like they’re fighting to hold onto him. And Derek’s lost enough in his life, too much. It’s a dick move to say this, to take anything else away from him, but… “What if the guy you wanted last summer… what if he died inside the Nogitsune, and I’m just––”

No.”

The sureness of it has Stiles’ throat clenching. He tilts his head, challenging. Finds Derek’s eyes again.

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.”

Which is just… it’s stupid how that makes Stiles’ heart jump. Flutter around like it’s fighting to leap the distance between them and plaster itself all up against Derek’s stupid, muscled, secretly sweet as hell chest.

Which… yeah, that’s nearly a gross enough visual to stomp his fondness boner in the bud. He sets his jaw.

“Did you know I used to have a scar on––”

“Your right hand? Just above the third knuckle, a burn.”

Stiles’ argument stalls out. He blinks, finger shifting to rub over the space, but Derek’s is already there, soothing the phantom mark over his skin.

“I… was eleven.” Because silence has never been safe for him. Because noise distracts from the too-easy pleasure rippling up his arm. “First time I tried cooking dinner for me and dad. Mac and cheese, it… didn’t go great.” He wets his lips. Looks away “Or… the other me did, I don’t––”

You did.” And Derek still sounds so damn sure. Stiles wants to believe him. He parts his lips, can’t. Because––

“Stiles, I’ve never had scars on my skin. I… can’t relate to what it’s like to lose them. But the things that have happened to me… they’re not any less real because I can’t see them. Every bullet, cut, punch I’ve taken…” He might sense the wince forming on Stiles’ face, and shakes his head, shrugging that off like it’s not important. But that’s an argument for another day. “Every scar life gave you… they’re still there. You’re still carrying them, inside you.” He flits his eyes down Stiles’ frame, then away, finger soothing over the ghost burn. “There are plenty no one would have ever seen anyway. But they made you. Who you are, and who you are…” He shakes his head, looks back to meet Stiles’ eyes squarely. “You recognized me when I was a teenager. That’s the same person who recognized me in the preserve.” Stiles feels his face heat because… even knowing Derek’s a werewolf now, he’d never put together that Derek would have heard his fangirl moment to Scott after Derek had walked away.

Before he can speak up, though, Derek’s going on. “You tracked me to Mexico. Faced down the Calaveras to save me. That’s the same person who stared down the Argents, drove a Jeep into a kanima, who hit an Alpha with a wooden baseball bat––”

“Two Alphas,” Stiles cuts in, because props, ok? “Two, that were…” His free hand mimes squishing, and Derek’s lips twitch.

“Two,” he agrees, and Stiles can’t not smile back. Just for a second –– fond, helpless –– then he’s ducking his head. Derek sighs, catches his chin. Guides it up until their gazes lock again.

“That was you,” he says, so firmly Stiles can’t help believing this time. “Was the man who clawed his way out of his own possession. Followed Scott’s howl back to the real world. And whatever happened to your body, whatever… magic gave you a new one, Stiles came out with it. Your scars are still there, just…” His fingers trail to Stiles’ chest, and something thumps out eagerly to meet them.

“Inside,” Stiles breathes, and the way Derek’s eyes warm makes him shiver with a proud ripple of pleasure.

“Inside,” Derek echoes. Runs a thumb light along Stiles’ lip. “You could have come out of the Nogitsune looking like anything. Wouldn’t change who you are.”

And damn, Stiles has fallen for a goddamn poet in a grumpy wolf’s body. …But then, Stiles is pretty sure he’d known that already.

His fingers go up, curl gently into Derek’s shirt.

“But… you like this body,” he prompts, and Derek gives an exasperated huff, pulling him in.

“I like this body,” he confirms, and it doesn’t feel wrong to hear that.

When Derek kisses him this time, Stiles doesn’t pull away.

#coffee #shop #fluff

Prompts: @imakeaesthetics
Authors: @queenofthyme

Sorry, I’m late,” Harry said as he hurriedly tied on his apron. “I swear it was the tube this - What? What’s wrong?”

Harry took in his boss’s expression and realised he wasn’t in trouble for being late. If anything, it was his boss that looked apologetic.

“I need you to train our new barista,” Tonks said, a weak smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“Of course,” Harry answered automatically. He had trained new staff before. It wasn’t too hard as long as the cafe wasn’t overrun with customers. And it was only a Tuesday. “Are they here yet?”

Tonks jerked an arm behind her and stepped to the side so Harry could see. Leaning on the counter by the cafe’s coffee machine was a tall, blonde-haired man with pointy features and long limbs. He was wearing the standard cafe apron over a three piece suit and a crisp white shirt secured with silver cufflinks. Despite the cups piling up next to the machine left by the register staff, he didn’t appear interested in fulfilling any orders.

“He’s…a little difficult,” Tonks explained, “But he’s my cousin and I promised his mother I’d get him a job. I’ve been trying to teach him but he’s testing my patience. Can you please take him off my hands so I can do some accounting? Please?”

Harry looked the man up and down. The phrase ‘fish out of water’ came to mind…“He doesn’t look like he needs a job.”

“He didn’t. Until last week. His parents were just jailed for fraud and embezzlement. They lost everything.”

Harry supposed he should feel sorry for the man, losing his parents, losing his money all in one go. But when the man stood there, with a snotty, disinterested expression, dressed in the most inappropriate clothes, that a month of Harry’s shifts still wouldn’t cover, it was hard to feel anything but resentment.

He sighed and nodded at Tonks. “I’l teach him,” he agreed.

Tonks actually jumped with relief - making Harry immediately regret his decision - and clapped Harry on the shoulder appreciatively before wasting no time in rushing back into the office in the cafe kitchens.

Harry took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back. He could handle a snotty rich kid. He headed over quickly, conscious of the mounting coffee orders.  

“Hey, I’m Harry,” he said on approach, holding out a hand. The man stared at it, his expression unchanging. “This is the part where you tell me your name and we shake hands,” Harry prompted.

The man’s lip curled. “Malfoy. Draco Malfoy,” he said, still making no move to shake.

Harry lowered his hand, already understanding why Tonks had taken the opportunity to run away when she did. “So, what do you know about coffee?” He asked.

That got a reaction. The man - Draco - pushed off the counter and stood up straight, staring down at Harry pointedly. “I’m not a moron. I know how to make coffee.”

Harry blinked back up at Draco for a moment. He hadn’t noticed from afar how impossibly grey the man’s eyes were.

Keep reading

Why is no one talking about this?

(Note: this is a long-winded rant(?) about a genuinely minuscule thing that really is just an excuse to nerd out, so if you’re into that, too, keep reading! Otherwise, you might not be that impressed. )

Yup, still on the My Hero Academia bender. Followers may have picked up my obsession over this purple-haired character named Shinsou in particular, but let me tell you that this character has less than some 20 pages in the manga and less than 20 minutes of screen time in the anime and is already more nuanced, complex, and emotionally compelling in that time than most of the characters in the protagonist’s immediate circle.

There are character analyses out there that do a great job of explaining all those points (this is one of the best I’ve seen and you should probably read that first and come back: http://manipulatorshinsou.tumblr.com/post/166609989279/the-appeal-of-shinsou-hitoshi-analyses), but I want to point out a tiny detail that I feel like almost no one has explicitly brought up that says something so enormous about his character arc that, though redundant at this point, is such a small but lovingly crafted detail that it really encapsulates one of my favorite things about this series - subtle emotional storytelling.


Now, there’s mild spoilers for all this, but you REALLY should go watch/read this series at some point anyway. However, I wanted to point something out that’s unique to the anime adaptation. Though some details often get left out in the adaptation process or are edited to fit film storyboarding rather than comics, film has a distinct advantage over manga in two areas - color and space.

Now, the entire point of Shinsou and Midoriya’s duel in the Tournament Arc was to draw multiple direct parallels to each character and highlight the major and really only significant difference between them - luck. In the end, both must fight an uphill battle above and beyond what would be expected of them to achieve their dream; but unlike Midoriya, Shinsou loses and his dreams are dashed. He’s no longer just disillusioned with the popularity games of hero society - he becomes discouraged and disheartened completely from having every last effort and every last plan easily pushed aside from someone more fortunate than him despite his efforts to appear confident and intimidating and to put his rivals off-balance.

Originally posted by fadingsoulss

Midoriya knows exactly the kind of struggle Shinsou has been through, and half the battle was to keep himself from trying to comfort Shinsou, not just because of All Might’s secret, but because they were rivals fighting for their own individual dreams, and attempting to help him would have resulted in Midoriya losing the match and the tournament. He also knew that after the fact there was nothing he could have said to Shinsou that would have given him comfort. Despite every amazing effort, he would once again be put down - the loser who just has to deal with the cruel reality of life.

Okay, nerd analysis time!

MHA is amazing at being emotionally compelling. They hit just the right line of performance, framing, and music to make you feel exactly what it wants you to. The example in particular I want to bring up is this scene (that legit put my husband -who is very much a “manly man”- in tears when he watched it).

Originally posted by cloud-and-tifa

At this point, Midoriya is told by the person he looks up to and admires more than literally anyone else in the world that regardless of his past inability to even come close to reaching his goals he still had the power to become a hero because of something beside and far beyond just having a powerful quirk.

And Midoriya is broken and in tears.

The cherry blossoms are a detail unique to the anime regarding this scene (Chapter 1) and really serve to add to the drama of it - particularly because of the saturation of color and the cultural significance of the Japanese sakura: the beauty and fleeting nature of youth, the coming of spring, and renewal. The Japanese consider the falling of the cherry blossoms to be a reminder that “it’s time to pay attention to what’s happening right now!”

Midoriya has finally experienced his own blossoming as a hero. Based on the scene in this episode and the direction the petals are falling insinuate that this feeling is all around him. His hero is standing over him and telling him that he can become just as great as he is. Everything at that moment has come together to recognize his dream.

Fast forward to Shinsou’s flashback at the tournament:

Originally posted by lawlu

Absolutely the cherry blossoms are there, and it’s even clear in the manga that there are cherry blossoms outside the class window. However, what happens in this scene is that Shinsou recollects a point in his life that he considers to be the epitome of his struggle.

“Whoa, Shinsou! That’s a really cool quirk! Just don’t use it on us and make us your slaves, okay?”

“Heh, everybody says that…” 

And the scene goes grey. This should have been his chance to break out and come closer to his dream, but that wasn’t the case. No color, no focus- just a blurred, painful memory to encapsulate the seemingly inescapable feeling of defeat as he lays on the ground, out of bounds, so close but yet so far once again…

And then-

~~~~~~

“You’re amazing, Shinsou!”

“You’re the shining star of General Studies!”

“His quirk is so powerful and can be so useful in capturing villains!”

“What a waste that he’s stuck in General Studies!”

“I wish I had a quirk like that!”

Originally posted by allenzwalker

No “what a scary quirk” or “I hope he doesn’t use it for his own purposes”! Just:

“Look at what an amazing hero he could be!”

Originally posted by sajoou

Did you see it?

There isn’t a cherry tree for miles around this arena. Everything for so long has been against him from the start. The fire inside him has all but been snuffed out yet again. This should be like every other disappointment he’s had to endure, and yet somehow it isn’t - against every odd.

He may have lost. He may have fallen short, but his real goal has been realized. He’s been seen. It’s time to pay attention to what’s happening right now.  Shinsou has blossomed.

It’s not as flashy or spectacular as Midoriya’s, but it’s just as significant. In fact, it’s exactly the same, regardless of how big it shows on the outside - Midoriya and Shinsou are the same, and they’ve both made it.

Again, this detail of the single petal falling isn’t in the manga (Chapter 34), but it was even more emotionally impactful to me than Midoriya’s awakening because I immediately saw the parallel. I feel that many did, too; but the choice to have the one fall into frame hit me where it counted. It almost wasn’t there, but it was!

I’m done rambling at this point, but really if you haven’t at least checked out this series yet, I highly encourage you to - even if you don’t like normally like anime! Most of the elements that tend to put me off of a lot of popular series are minimal or non-existent, and though it still uses major tropes in the shonen genre it has a tendency to go above and beyond philosophically, intellectually, and emotionally than it has to. It’s not a good anime. It’s a well-written and impactful story!

The Heiman Rant

It’s plainly obvious. Heiman is a toxic relationship. 

Heidi and Cartman were built on false pretenses, and therefore doomed to fail. Cartman’s a bad boyfriend. He’s terrible to her. We all want it to end.

But I think in our rush to see this bad thing that made us all so uncomfortable be done with, for it all to just go away, we forget what this relationship was like before it all went sour.

In our need to see Cartman return to his normal self, we never really stopped to look at his relationship with Heidi. How it functioned. We all just said, “bad. fake.” and waited for it to end.

I don’t know HOW many times I’ve heard “Cartman is incapable of being in a relationship unless he’s controlling the person, and Heiman proves that.” And that just bugged me. And I realized why.

Because Cartman WAS in a good relationship. And to start off with, it was a shaky foundation, sure, but nonetheless, he proved that he CAN be a kind, supportive person. 

In season 20 one of their biggest strengths as a couple was communication. They’d tell each other their plans, their hopes and dreams, even their worries. And it worked like a functional relationship. Cartman was relaxed. He hardly stressed out about anything. Hell, he didn’t even get mad when Kyle reminded him of the confrontation that alienated him from the group he was a part of. It was just so far out of his mind that he didn’t care. He was in a good place. And he would do anything to conserve that.

The Mars analogy in season 20 is symbolic of his relationship. A completely alien world to him, but one to make his own. He feels like he’s walking on air, and he’s mesmerized. 

And it’s not as if this relationship only benefited Cartman. Heidi was encouraged to realize how smart she was.

Whenever she was discouraged, Cartman told her it was unwarranted. To “get over” herself, which is a perfectly sound piece of advice. Her doubt was the only thing standing in her way. In the end she realized she was so smart that she could help a fucking space program create a massive amount of energy. 

It was a mutually beneficial relationship.

However, I do want to say that I personally believe this relationship was doomed to fail. simply because, as we see in Cartman’s Mars vision, Heidi is MILES away from Cartman. He doesn’t feel legitimately close to her, and that would’ve surfaced without anyone’s interference. 

 So let’s dive a little deeper in. Let’s ask the most obvious of questions.

What does Cartman think of relationships? 

 I’m sure most people would say “He thinks partners are supposed to be like Alexa.” 

But the answer is actually directly given to us, way back in season 16. 

In an earlier post I explain that Cupid Me is a manifestation of what Cartman considers love. 

Cartman tells cupid me that he believes in him, and that love can change everything. Very strong feelings about love.  

A bit surprising from Cartman, huh? But before the naysayers start insisting that “Cartman Finds Love was out of character!!!” I should tell you that Cartman has consistently admired the concept of love throughout other episodes

 In The Ring when Kenny gets with a girl named Tammy Warner, Cartman is invested in Kenny’s relationship and comments on how it’s “kind of beautiful.”

 In Tweek x Craig he is so invested in their relationship that he fantasizes about assisting them when they need it. In “Where My Country Gone?” he encourages Butters to pull a Lion King 2, while having an affectionate expression while Butters wooes Charlotte. 

 It’s entirely consistent that Cartman loves the concept of love and has specific ideals of what those should be. And it’s NOT an Alexa. Ironically he does ask Alexa what love is, which is sad to say the least. But he does understand at the end of that episode that what he has with Heidi isn’t love. 

But the point is, back when he thought he loved Heidi, he was pretty damn good at expressing it. 

Compliments.

Patience. 

Positivity, 

Support, 

Cooperation, 

and most of all, communication. 

 If Cartman is so incapable of showing love to anything unless he has complete control over it, how and why did he do that FOR AN ENTIRE SEASON? I mean seriously people. It’s not like he was possessed. He wasn’t being threatened. He genuinely believed he loved Heidi, and he had no problems spending time with her. Because he WANTED to.

And what he gave Heidi was probably one of the best relationships you can get as a 4th grader. I mean compare it to any other relationship we’ve seen on south park. Heiman – despite being obnoxious to those who know the “real Cartman,” – is easily the best a 4th grade boy has treated a 4th grade girl in this series. EASILY. It’s no wonder we see Heidi in the 21st season so desperately wanting her Cartman back.

That is – her reflection back. 

Because as cupid me says, “People who are the same belong together,” right? So that’s what Cartman did. Cartman and Heidi were polar opposites. So in order for Heidi and Cartman to work, Cartman became like her. 

Don’t get it twisted, this doesn’t mean he was lying about believing he liked her. It doesn’t mean he’s “faking” because he’s “manipulating her into liking him.” Everyone does this. Everyone in a relationship mimics their partner to some extent. Because the more we admire someone, the more we find ourselves taking on their qualities. Their laughs, their nervous habits, their interests, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Cartman’s reason for taking on her traits isn’t all involuntary though. You can see several times where Cartman gets shifty eyed, that he’s putting on a front. But the front is genuinely for the sake of conserving the relationship. 

And, for the record, the fact that when talking to Butters Cartman continues to put on his soft-spoken, well-mannered demeanor that he finds it admirable in Heidi. Note the shift in his voice. 

He wants that demeanor from Heidi because he believes it’s part of what makes her so likable. 

In this relationship, Heidi is the one being imitated because she’s the one being admired. She is the one making actions, and Cartman is the making reactions.  And in turn, she is functionally the one in control. Cartman takes control and pushes her to do things, it’s just in his nature to be assertive, but he too understands that when it’s all said and done, her whims are the deciding factor in the relationship.

And, he understands that if he wanted any semblance of a shot with this likable person, he couldn’t act like himself. When Kyle talks about “the old Cartman,” Cartman fidgets and takes a sip of his drink, subtly hiding his anxiousness that Kyle would even mention that in front of Heidi. Then he continuously changes the subject to distract Kyle. 

And this is where it all starts to go to shit.

Kyle is the first person to create/quicken the downfall of Cartman’s relationship (because of course he is.). When Kyle threatens to expose the meanest parts of Cartman’s personality, Cartman panics. 

We know now that if Heidi did see those things Cartman said their relationship could have easily recovered. Her patience with him is unmatched. It’s interesting that Cartman placed Heidi in such high regard that he thought her knowing he criticized a group of women would fuck him over. 

Shame is definitely not a new thing for Cartman, but shame towards his entire personality is. Cartman is so terrified of losing the relationship that he won’t risk being himself. He knows he’s lucky as fuck to have her, so much that he tries to go to a whole other god damn planet just to keep them together.

And what’s interesting about this is that the whole time, even though he’s lying, he still puts the care and effort into talking and expressing his feelings to Heidi. He doesn’t want her to worry, but to some extent, he can’t help but open up to her.

And this might seem like a minor thing, since he’s still lying to her and all, but it’s a polar opposite to his distance and refusal to communicate in season 21.

This is why I insist that the amount of heart that Cartman put into the relationship before shit hit the fan is praiseworthy. He’s putting effort and care into someone like he’s never done before. And it’s amazing.

And then Butters came along with a dialogue. 

The truth is girls hate us, Eric. They’re sick of our shit. And one day, they plan to make us obsolete, stick us underground where we just get milked for our semen. Boys’ only hope is to start over on Mars.

Which matched Cartman’s initial dialogue. 

The icing on the cake is, Butters also predicted that Heidi was doing all this to fuck him over.

That’s how it ends, Eric. Girls get you to feel for them, make you think they’re the best thing in the world, and then they leave, move on to the next thing; and you’re left there crying, with your heart covered in poop.

And for Cartman, who secretly glorifies and holds in such high regard – love – this resonates with him. Because his self-esteem is actually garbage. He knows he will never be with anyone, because he’s him.

In that sense, is it really so far fetched for Cartman to believe that Heidi was just playing an elaborate trick on him?

But Cartman, so genuinely enamored with Heidi, fights this initially. 

That is Cartman’s test. In order to prove to everybody (to himself) that Heidi is in fact, not tricking him, she must be smart and funny, which he believes she is. 

This of course, makes him nervous. He doesn’t want to believe that what he thinks about Heidi isn’t based in reality. Because to him, that would mean that Heidi is tricking him.

Cartman genuinely believes that Heidi is smart. You can see his two reactions here of what he thinks about both of those qualities in Heidi, respectively. 

When Heidi asks if Cartman believes she’s smart, Cartman doesn’t need any time to think about it. But when she asks about being funny, you can see his brain working, trying to search his memories of when she was ever funny. 

Because he’s so enamored with her, he laughs at whenever she says something mildly goofy. But when he looks back on it, it’s never funny. It’s so not funny that he can’t remember what the joke was.

But the concept of faulty memory is thrown out the window when he realizes that nothing she said would’ve been funny in real time. 

He genuinely thought she was funny. He equated his smiles and laughs of joy to her being funny. But with the rose colored glasses off, his claim of her not manipulating him falls apart in his eyes.

So by the end of the season, when all is said and done, we of course are left with a bitter, cold Cartman, who wants nothing to do with Heidi. 

In our first impression we might’ve said that he was buying into a conspiracy that Butters sold him, and is forcing the idea that she betrayed him because he wanted to believe the conspiracy.

But that’s not what this is. 

This is Cartman convinced that no one would ever genuinely like him. That of course after all he’s done, the only reason anyone would ever be with him, under any circumstance, would be doing it simply to trick him. And everything that Heidi made him feel, like the idea that she could make him laugh by saying anything, even though it wasn’t funny, was all part of her plan to bring him high up and watch him crash to the ground. 

Not because he actually believes that women want to milk men’s semen. The smart and funny test had nothing to do with that. 

His actions now aren’t him mistreating Heidi because he just can’t help himself. He proved for an entire season that he can. His actions are out of resentment.

In s21e01 he’s simply non-confrontational. He tries to make it work at minimum capacity – minimal communication, spending very little time with her, but her nagging makes him resentful. And yes, he places himself as the victim in this situation. In his paranoid mind, he is being unresponsive to not give her the pain she wants. Because he still feels for her. (I think that’s why he can’t decide whether or not he wants to break up with her.) 

But when she pushes, he lashes out. He hates talking about this relationship he once thought was great. But at the same time, he doesn’t want it to go away. Just the status of being in a relationship makes him feel good. He feels needed. He feels trapped, in that sense, and in turn even more angry that that “bitch” is trapping him.

But really it’s him struggling with his emotions, and she happens to be caught in the middle of it.

What Cartman does to Heidi is sad, and definitely sadistic. And to him it feels justified. But at the same time, I think he still believes the statement he blurted in the midst of his panic.

In his sadistic, projecting, paranoid little head, Heidi already accomplished what she sought out to do. Lift him up and knock him down.

For that brief moment in his life, he really experienced something beautiful.

And now it’s over. 

Because he destroyed it.

I think, and I hope, for the development of his character, that he knows that.

anonymous asked:

What do you think were the best nalu moments in this arc so far?

Hmm~ This is a good question!  I had to go back quite far for this one, but I think you’ll like it!  It’s gonna be a long answer, so let’s get started!

First off, we have Natsu coming back from his year long training session:

I mean, in the entirety of chapter 418 we see just how much Lucy misses Natsu (and Happy too of course), but in this page, you can see how happy she is that he’s back.  She looks almost relieved (not that she wasn’t thriving on her own, but she had a hole in her heart).  Natsu looks ecstatic to see Lucy (we even get a little blush).

Moving on to chapter 419 (don’t worry, I won’t be going through every chapter like this lmao) but OH MY GOD LOOK.  Natsu had no idea how hard Lucy was working and how broken she was losing Aquarius, everyone, and HIM all at once.  I think this is where he truly understood her pain whether he knew all the details or not.

Also, how can we forget how “first chapter” this page is.  It’s almost like Lucy can’t believe it.  He’s back and so is Fairy Tail.

Here, it’s pretty clear that Natsu has learned how much him leaving as well hurt her.  I think this is v important for their relationship…  Which they still have yet to “resolve” though I don’t think Natsu leaving was entirely “selfish”.

I think here Natsu is trying to gain Lucy’s trust again.  To prove himself to her, and honestly I believe that this scene is very intimate between them and the way their relationship is.  Not so much romantically, but their trust in each other.

We also get a LOT of scenes of both Natsu and Lucy reacting like this to one another… 

Hmmm…

Okay, okay I know, I’m nitpicking everything- HOW CAN I PICK JUST A FEW FAVORITES??  But alright, I’m going to get into general, overarching moments that I think are the best and really love!

There is A LOT under this break and there are also spoilers of the latest chapters!!  Please read with caution :)

Keep reading

FAQ: all about closed comedones

Closed comedones, or what many people describe as “little raised bumps on my face” have many causes and are often easily treated by a few small adjustments or an addition into your skincare routine. A Comedone is basically a clogged pore, caused by sebum buildup which cannot exit the pore because of a blockage. The blockage may also occur because your skin doesnt shed cells effectively.

Most frequent causes, and what you should do:
- Dehydration, youre not drinking enough water. This will show up on your skin as closed comedones in between your eyebrows. You should start drinking 2L water each day and the CC’s will fade away.
- Dehydrated skin, this coresponds with general dehydration. In this case the CC’s will show up all around your forehead. You should add a good hydrating layer into your routine, like hempseed oil or safflower oil. Skin can also get dehydrated due to a compromised moisture barrier, often (almost always) caused by overexfoliation.
- Dirty pillows, or sleeping on your face. You will see this as CC’s on the sides of your face (that you sleep on). I advise everyone to change their pillow cases at least once a week, but twice would do a better job. And to completely eliminate this issue stop sleeping on your face.
- Comedogenic (pore clogging) skincare. Most common culprit is coconut oil, you can look up comedogenicy levels of the ingredients in your skincare products. You should eliminate products with highly comedogenic ingredients high up on the ingredient list.
- Heat, and sweat. Your pores will get clogged from sweating a lot and the skin producing too much sebum. Theres little you can do to combat the outside temperature, try to keep yourself cooled and fans are your best friend.
- Hormonal imbalance can cause faster sebum production. In this case you should contact a derm or a doctor and theres little you can do, it is often also caused by medicine. There are mesures you can take that you should talk about with your doctor such as Birth control, Spironolactone, evening primrose oil supplements.
-Poor hygiene, not taking your makeup off fully, sleeping with makeup on, touching your face with your hands or your face with dirty stuff…. i dont need to explain why this is bad.
- Stress and no sleep, just like with acne vulgaris. Theres no hard evidence on this, but only anecdotal evidence, which I believe.

Treatments:
- As I’ve mentioned already, your skin could be overexfoliated (oily but dry, feels tight after washing) and dehydrated. A non comedogenic oil like hempseed or safflower oil could be your saviour.
- 2.5% benzoyl peroxide: doenst cause purging is effective against acne vulgaris and closed comedones
- AHA exfoliants: I would sugges glycolic acid as those penetrate deeper into the skin than other AHA’s. This will cause your skin to purge initially to get the impurities out.
- BHA exfoliants: you can look up the difference between those two but they both effectively combat CC’s
- Stirdex pads, or other chemical exfoliating pads.
- Retinol, or Retin-A: often prescribed to combad adult acne and a great anti-ageing agent. Will also make you purge and you will suffer from dry skin for about a month or two. Its a bigger measure than the other ones Ive mentioned.
- Oil cleansing method, look it up!
- Clay masks: Suck oil out of your pores to prevent sebum build up.

Youre working with acids here, you MUST read about the product before you decide to put it on your face. You must know how much your skin can handle. If youre keen to start using an exfoliating acid, start off with not more than once a week, then build up from there. And dont forget to wear sunscreen.

The Perfect Sugar Date

Though, I have only been a Sugar Baby for two months I have mastered the art of a perfect date. Regardless, if I hated the man or the date he enjoys himself and wants to see me again. Here are some tips to make you the ideal woman. 

1. No phone on the table: It should be in your purse and the purse should not be on the table but the back of the chair. 

2. Voice: Speak clearly and give direct eye contact. Older men are observant and seek clarity. If you don’t know what you are talking about, do not talk about it because he will ask you to explain yourself. 

3. Expression: Embrace your personality. When I like something or feeling hyper I smile. This is a quirky habit but POTs love it. I smile when I read the menu and I usually hear “Get whatever you want baby.” 

4. Attire: It is not about what you wear it’s how you wear it. Iron or steam all your clothes. It is torn, stained, bleached don’t wear it. If you have fix your outfit every 5 minutes, don’t wear it. 

5. Perfume: Don’t take a shower with your perfume. One or two spritz. Don’t be that female in the restaurant who is killing people’s noses due to spraying Bed&BathBodyWorks Japanese Blossom from head-to-toe. 

6. Show Gratitude: Anything he does youlook at him straight in the eye and say “Thank you.” Make him feel valued and appreciated. I tend to say “Thank you for taking the time to meet me” and in the end while he is paying the check “Thank you.” That s**t turns men on. I say “Thank you Papi” to my SD and he responds “ You’re worth it.”

Writing Tips - YOI Edition

I decided to start my little series of writing tips with a Yuri On Ice specific post because that’s the fandom I’m most familiar with. While I’ll make examples from the anime, keep in mind that most of these things can be taken in a more general way and applied to other fandoms as well.

These are only tips and if you don’t follow them that’s perfectly fine, your fanfiction is valid.


LANGUAGES:

Different characters speak different languages with each other, and implementing that in your fic can make it feel more realistic. That doesn’t mean that you have to include a full dialogue in a language other than the one of your fic (although a few words thrown here and there like terms of endearment are always good, and even a couple of full sentences are fine, just remember to translate them in the notes), but there are ways to show this even if you don’t do that. Simply have your POV character hear a dialogue and not understanding it, and asking about it later (or just wondering about it in their head). Another small thing is to not have the POV character be surprised by this (unless for very specific reasons): they’re used to being in international environments and to hearing different languages being spoken by other skaters, so it’s usually not a big deal to them.

Another tip is to understand what being bilingual (or tri- or multilingual) means. We don’t randomly start mixing two languages. The only instance where I’ve had that happen to me is when for some reason a word in one of the language I speak has to be in my sentence, then it might happen that I actually keep talking in that language. 

Example:

Gli ho detto che è bravo nel multitasking, and like-”

As you can see, the “and like” is some of those things we’re used to saying to connect sentences (like “you know” and other stuff), so it’s something easy to slip into if we’ve just said a word in English. You also see I stopped the sentence there because that’s what I feel happens, you don’t go on speaking in a different language for ten minutes, you usually notice right away and stop yourself.

That’s a very specific example of course, but what will mostly happen in your fic is that a character will switch back and forth effortlessly.

Examples: 

Yuuri is talking to Victor in English, then his mom brings them homemade katsudon and Yuuri thanks her and holds a short conversation with her in Japanese. Then he goes back to speaking to Victor.

Yuri and Otabek are speaking on skype in Russian. Otabek’s sister enters his room and asks him in Kazakh to help her with her homework, and he tells her (in Kazakh) that he’ll be right there, then he proceeds to explain Yuri what happened in Russian and they say goodbye and hang up.

Yuri and Victor are talking at the rink in Russian, then Yuuri skates towards him, and both Yuri and Victor switch to English to include Yuuri in the conversation.


Who speaks what language:

Generally speaking, all skaters interact in English.

Victor, Yuri, Mila, Georgi, Yakov, Lilia, Nikolai all speak Russian among each other. They might use English around other people if they don’t want to be rude to them, but in general they’ll have a tendency to keep speaking in Russian to each other, no matter how fluent in English they are.

Victor speaks fluent French as well as Russian and English, so it’s safe to believe that he and Chris speak French when they communicate.

Looking at the Japanese side of things, Yuuri, Yuuko (probably her husband too), Minako and Mari all speak fluent English, contrary to Yuuri’s parents who don’t appear to speak it at all. The triplets are 6 years old so they most definitely only speak Japanese. I headcanon that Minami doesn’t really speak a good English since he doesn’t appear to have competed much or at all outside of Japan, but I don’t think we have enough info about him so do what you want with him.

Otabek’s first language is Kazakh. It uses the same alphabet as Russian but it’s a different thing, but Kazakhs generally learn Russian and Otabek is definitely fluent in it. He’s also lived in the US and in Canada so he’s fluent in English as well. When he interacts with Yuri you should keep in mind that they’re speaking Russian.

Of course, when writing post-canon, it’s entirely possible and even very likely that the couples (or even friends, for example Yuuri and Phichit probably learned a little of Thai and Japanese respectively) pick up each other’s languages. Victor will learn Japanese, Yuuri will learn Russian, Emil will learn Italian. I headcanon that in some couples only one of them will learn the other’s language (for example I don’t think it’d be very useful for Yuri to learn more than a little basic Kazakh), but that’s absolutely up to you.

Another thing I personally like to do in my fanfics whenever there’s characters with different nationalities is to remind the reader that everyone has different accents. You don’t have to point it out in every sentence, but even just doing it once in your whole fic will make it feel, once again, more realistic. Another accent fun fact: at the beginning it’s hard to understand an accent you’ve never heard before, but it gets easier the more you keep hearing it. Try to think of ways to show that in your fanfic if that’s something you want to do.


NICKNAMES: 

Another important aspect in YOI is the use of nicknames, like Yurio or Katsudon. The thing is, not everyone uses them, and not in every context. If you want to use them in a fic and be true to canon, learn who uses them and why.

Yurio 

is a nickname given by Mari to Yuri P. to avoid confusion between him and her brother Yuuri. Yuuri, Victor and Yuuri’s family and friends are the only ones using it. Yuri hates it. He wouldn’t use it for himself, so avoid using it in your fic unless:

  • the characters I mentioned above are talking to him
  • one of the characters above is also the POV character (especially if it’s first person)
  • Yuri himself is complaining about it

Especially avoid using it when:

  • it’s Yuri’s POV
  • it’s the POV of someone close to Yuri or who knew Yuri before canon (like his grandpa, Yakov, Mila, etc)
  • it’s Otabek’s POV. He’s his friend (or more) and he would use his given name (unless for some reason he wanted to annoy him - which he probably would at some point lol)

Yura/Yurochka 

I don’t feel educated enough to talk about this myself, I could only say what I saw in the anime but you should definitely read this post because it’s well done and explains who would call Yuri Yura or Yurochka.

Katsudon

Only Yuri calls Yuuri Katsudon (sometimes he switches it for pig). Victor called Yuuri little piglet or something at the beginning of canon, but definitely doesn’t do it later on.

(Beka)

This is not canon yet, but it’s a really widespread nickname for Otabek within the fandom, that only Yuri (or Otabek’s family) uses.


In general, I think nicknames rub off on the people we talk to. So for example, when I write Otayuri I sometimes have Otabek think of Yuuri as “Katsudon”. Why? Because at least at the beginning he would only hear Yuri talk about him, and Yuri would refer to him with that nickname. He would probably not call Yuuri like that directly in a dialogue, but that’s all just speculation. I just added this bit because I think it’s one of the many ways to both build someone’s characterization and show instead of telling the kind of relationship two characters have.


Other writing tips: (coming soon!)

general pt.1 | general pt.2 | plot | dialogues | characterization