i feel like i should be hungover

anonymous asked:

Idk I realized Syaolan wasn't good at this deduction thing since Outo when he heard a cat and thought it was Fai


I mean, in all fairness, Syaoran was horrifically and monumentally hungover. Perhaps for the first time in his life. 

And I don’t doubt for a second that anyone who knows Fai wouldn’t even look twice if he hid in alleys and made cat noises at people as they passed by. 

But still. 


Barnes’ Books - The End

After getting not exactly nice anon messages about what I’ve written (and I’m the first to admit it’s not great), I haven’t exactly felt like writing, and I feel like i should apologise that I have. I don’t exactlyhave great self-confidence anyway, so I’m sorry for being a loser.

This isn’t exactly brilliant, AND it’s too long, so I’m sorry. But here it is anyway.

And thank you people who’ve sent me nice messages, I’m going to try and reply to them all tonight, or as many as I can xxx

Barnes’ Books masterlist

Waking up with a hangover is never fun.  Waking up with a hangover on the couch, the morning sun burning your eyes, is less fun. Waking up hungover on a couch to the sound of the cat licking leftover takeaway from a plate, really not fun at all.  But waking up, hungover, sun in your eyes, neck stiff, to the memory that the person you’ve fallen for is marrying someone else – someone they don’t love – and that there’s nothing you can do about it? That’s the worst.

Keep reading


For the Anon who asked for 2 (I’m sorry I yelled at you) 21 (Do you think you could go one day without pissing me off?) and 30 (Are you done ranting?) with DiNozzo

Your head was pounding. You had one hell of a migraine but you were needed here. You were the only one who could decipher this stupid code within a reasonable time frame. You’ve got earplugs in to help drown out the noise, one of the NCIS baseball hats and your sunglasses are still on to help block out the lights. You take a sip of water, staying hydrated is important, then turn your face back to the page on your desk in front of you. Your computer is off, keeping away that annoying blue light. Tony swipes your hat off your head jolting it painfully and you swear.
“Tony! Damn it! Give that back!”
“Why so glum? A little hungover are we?”
“No, I have a migraine.” You say through gritted teeth. Why is he so annoying sometimes? You huff softly to yourself, sometimes? Try all the time. “Give me my hat back.”
“Is that what we’re calling them these days? A migraine.”
“Gibbs.” You complain as he comes into the space and yanks your hat off of Tony’s head then tosses it to you in one fluid motion. He knows how bad your migraines can get if you’re not careful. He’s seen what happens, Tony on the other hand has not.
You can hear him chattering away, even through the ear plugs, all morning. Does he ever shut up? It’s when he starts a bad imitation of Cyndi Lauper that you finally snap.
“Tony! Shut the hell up! I can hear you through my earplugs like you’re standing right next to me! Do you think you could go one day, just one fucking day, without pissing me off?”
“Damn. Sorry princess!” He snaps back at you.
“Oh for god sake!” You sneer, “Did I hurt your fragile ego Tony?”
“My ego is not fragile!” You roll your eyes and notice that McGee is watching the two of you in fascination. Gibbs is nowhere to be found.
“Then quit being a baby and shut up. Please! My head is pounding, the letters on this fucking page keep moving around, and I feel like I’m gong to throw up. I just want to get this finished and go home!”
“Wow. I didn’t know you were so crabby when you were hungover.” He says standing and starting away. You stand and move away from your desk, stalking after him.
“I. Am. Not. Hungover.” You snap and when he stops suddenly and turns on you you come to a quick halt behind him. Standing there hits you suddenly. You didn’t take care of the migraine like you should have. Too much light, or noise, or not enough water. Tony opens his mouth to retort when his eyes go wide in surprise. The last thing you’re aware of is Gibbs yelling your name as he charges toward you.
You’re propped up against something warm. The pounding in your head is worse than before but it usually is when you pass out.
“Are you done ranting now?” The warm thing asks softly, sounding very concerned.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” You mumble softly.
“It’s fine. I didn’t realize how bad they got.” Tony admits gently.
“How long was I out?” You mutter.
“Long enough.” Gibbs says grimly, “You’re going home and Tony is taking you.”
“No Gibbs! I’m fine. I need to finish.” He looks down at you in amusement.
“You’re going home.” He repeats and you sigh.
“Fine.” He helps you to your feet and you gather your things from your desk, including the file.
“Leave it.” Gibbs growls.
“Gibbs.” You huff only succeeding in making him laugh softly. You follow Tony to the elevator mumbling about how annoyed you are and how all you want to do is your damn job and is that too much to ask? You stop when the elevator opens again.
“Are you done?“ Tony asks quietly a small smile on his face. You purse your lips at him but nod. “Good.” He pulls you gently to him, “You scared me today.” He admits softly. “One minute you were arguing and the next you were headed to the floor. Why did you tell me they get that bad?”
“Would you have believed me?”
“I don’t know. I am glad you’re going home though. I have orders to stay with you.”
“Tony I’ll be fine. I’m going to go to bed.”
“Gibbs orders. He’s the boss kid.” He say giving you a gentle squeeze then letting you go. Well, at least he’d watch good movies with you.

Accidental possesion, part 3

Part 2: https://m2mbodyswappingandmore.tumblr.com/post/156185177836/accidental-possesion-part-2

See this guy? Yeah, that is Ryan. My brother’s bestfriend. How the hell on Earth am I the one that is controling his body? Seconds ago I was in my brother’s body and now I am standing here, horrified of the sudden change of point of view. I stood there like I was frozen. Then the reality hit me. I ran to the mirror. 

“Wow, Ryan is a great looking guy, well I am now,” 

I was looking at myself in the mirror, but I was feeling a bit unsure what had just happened. Am I cursed to possess other people for the rest of my life? What cause this that I can do that? Am I gonna be able to depossess people? Can I possess the people I already possessed? I have to get answers to alteast one of these questions. Now…

I went to my brother’s body still lying unconscious. I touched him, but nothing happened. Fuck, I can’t go back. I need to find out what is going on. Should I tell my brother? He started to wake up. I came to him and helped hom to get on his feet.

“What happened? I feel like hungover. said Patrick

I had to come up with a suitable lie. “You texted me that you will come over and I found you like this bro. You ok? You look like you need help.”

“No, it’s just that my head is pounding. I don’t even remember coming here. And why the hell am I naked? Hey, did you do something to me?” his voice started to sound a bit more happier.

“No, but since I haven’t seen you for a long time and also haven’t had anything with a girl for quite a while, I could use a relief. Want me to suck your dick bro?”

“Stop making fun of me, I think I will go home. Text me later, we should hang out.”

“Whatever you want bro, see you”

I closed the door to his appartement. Now, where is that marines uniform. I searched through his closegt, but it wasn’t there. I saw a bag on the ground. That idiot didn’t even unpack his stuff. I put on his uniform. Fuck, that is so hot. I am Ryan. I can be anyone I want. I just have to find out how to use this new power that I have. I took out his Iphone, snapped a photo and made a new Grindr profile. Searched for other gays nearby and went out to get a new date. I never had a chance in my old body to try anything with other guys.  

I went outside to his car. Suddenly some guy texted me. He asked for a photo. In my old body, I would have been shy to send any, but now, I was a Supermale.

I  sent the hoto and the guy was really excited. He texted me his adress and send a photo too.

Jesus, that is the guy from school. I don’t really know him that well, but it is sure going to be a lot of fun.

Seasoned Gay

On AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11254284

It’s Friday and Maggie is more than happy to spend the evening holed up in one of the local gay bars drinking scotch and enjoying the feeling of scantily clothed women pressing around her on the dance floor, feeling the pulsing music around her as she danced somewhat jerkily with some blonde girl that she’d bumped into shortly after making her way onto the dance floor, happily letting the rest of the week fall away.

Or it would be if she could focus on the girl in front of her (and how she was gonna get her home) and not the beautiful red head sitting slouched at the bar, cradling her drink in her hands and scanning the bar with a look of nervous excitement plastered across her face. Definitely a baby gay… And a cute one at that… And… That’s a dude…

She watched as one of the straight guys that hung around the bar trying to pick up chicks approached the girl and started trying to talk her up. Maggie felt her body tense and she looked between her dancing partner and the girl at the bar and made a split second decision.

“Gotta go save the baby gay at the bar, dudebro’s hitting on her and she doesn’t seem to know what to do.” The blonde glanced towards the bar and after catching sight of the scene in front of her she scowled and shook her head.

“You have fun with that, try not to break his nose, I know it’s tempting.” And the girl’s already turned around and found some other girl to dance with and Maggie’s making her way towards the bar where the girl is leaning as far away from stereotypical surfer playboy as physically possible. Maggie got to the bar just in time to catch the tail end of what he was saying.

“…And I know I can show you a better time than any of these bull dykes could ever dream of. I’m pretty well endowed if you catch my drift.” He winked and none to discreetly pawed at his junk, causing both Maggie and the red head to scrunch their noses up in disgust at him.

“Yeah, I’m still good.” The other woman downed her shot and signaled the bartender for another one. The guy leered at her and scooted his stool closer to his so that their knees were touching as he moved his hand onto the girl’s thigh.

“Come on babe, seriously I’ll show you a better time than any dyke in this bar could possibly imagine.” Maggie half groaned before firmly inserting herself between the two, knocking the guy’s hand any and forcing him to pull back from the other woman.

“Excuse me, sir, but I’m fairly certain the lady already said no so if you’d kindly move along…” Maggie left the sentence hanging but makes sure to level her gaze at him so he wouldn’t take it as a sign of her feeling intimidated by him. He sneered down at her and tried unsuccessfully to brush her aside.

“Fuck off, she was just about to come home with me, weren’t you hot stuff?” Maggie glances behind her just in time to catch the girl roll her eyes at his question and take a long drink of her beer (the bartender still hadn’t refilled her shot glass).

“Yeah, only in your dreams.” Maggie gently reached behind her and placed a hand on the girl’s knee, she wasn’t sure how much of her couldn’t care less attitude was simply a front to make the guy leave her alone and she figured the comforting gesture might be appreciated.

“See? Now go find someone else to bother, fucking buzzkill.” The guy tried to move around her but Maggie stayed firmly in place between him and the girl (whose name she probably should figure out).

“And you’ve got one of the worst cases of selective hearing I’ve ever seen. Now why don’t you run back to your friends the lick your wounds and try hitting up a bar where the girls actually find your oppressive masculinity attractive and leave us all alone.” The guy scoffed and tried (for the third time) and failed to get her to move from between him and the other woman.

“You’re just jealous she’d rather go home with a real man like me instead of a midget like you. She knows I can fuck her real good, unlike you you little dyke, don’t you baby?” Maggie winced internally at the jib at her height, something she was still self conscious about even at the age of twenty two. She felt the woman behind her shift and somewhat tentatively run her fingers up her side, causing an unexpected shiver to run down Maggie’s spine.

“Oh no… She’s… Definitely the one I’m interested in.” He sputtered, finally hearing something she said for once. About time…

“Why the hell would you be into the tiny lesbo over me? Have you seen my abs?” He lifts his shirt to show off what to most might seem like an impressive six pack, Maggie rolled her eyes but decided she wasn’t going to stoop to his level trying to engage in some display of dominance. The other woman scoffed out loud and glancing behind her Maggie realized that apparently she didn’t have any issues showing the guy up, cause her shirt was tugged up to just below her breasts and was showing off her own six pack with a challenging gleam in her own eyes.

“You act like that’s supposed to impress me.” She dropped her shirt and Maggie none too discreetly wiped at the corners of her mouth to make sure she hadn’t started drooling. “Now I can think of a lot of reasons to pick her over you, starting with the fact I’m gay as fuck and she’s definitely a woman, you are a woman right? Like I’m assuming here based on appearances and that’s kinda transphobic and I really don’t care if you’re trans or not, I meant it’s cool if you are like I’m totally fine with that…”

“I’m a woman.” Maggie interjected before the other woman could get lost in a offtrack tangent.

“Okay, yeah… So there’s that. She’s also hot as hell which you definitely are not.” Maggie forced herself not to chuckle at the offended look on his face. “And you’re an asshole and I wouldn’t be interested even if I was into guys cause I have standards that you don’t even begin to meet. So if you’ll move along I’d really like to chat up my super hot savior now.” She made a shooing gesture and the guy finally left with a grumbled fucking dykes . Which left Maggie standing super close to the rather beautiful red head who was definitely giving her bedroom eyes like no baby gay should know how to do. “So… What’s your name?”

“Um… Maggie… My name’s Maggie…” The other woman smiled warmly down at her and held her hand out for her to shake.

“Alex. So what are you doing this evening? Besides saving young lesbians from straight men.” Maggie blushed slightly, turning her face away from Alex.

“You hardly needed saving. I mean… With the abs and the sassy comebacks and the abs…” Alex smiled at her, an amused glint in her eyes.

“You like the abs?” She wiggled her eyebrows as she slid Maggie’s hand under her shirt up her washboard abs. Maggie let out a quiet groan and bites her lip. Not to be outdone by a baby gay she quickly moves Alex’s hand over to her own stomach and slides it under her shirt and up her own abs.

“I can most certainly appreciate them.” She was pleased to note the other woman finally seemed a little flustered as she subconsciously ran her fingers along Maggie’s abs. “Now, what do you say we hit the dance floor and show that prick how us ‘lesbos’ do it?”

And they do, they get drunk and dance and make out in the corner like teens and when the bar finally closes at two she calls them an Uber and then continue to make out like idiots in the backstreet until they get back to Maggie’s apartment. And then they’re making out in the apartment (okay, say what you want about picking up baby gays but holy cow this one was a hell of a good kisser) and on her bed and damn you’d love to have her way with the woman moving above her but the voice in the back of her mind reminding her they are both very drunk wins and she finally pulls away.

“You’re drunk.” Alex moved down to start muzzling in her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin there.

“So are you.”

“We probably shouldn’t do this right now.”

“Probably not.”

“I’m going to get some water and aspirin for in the morning. If you feel like it we can carry on then.” Maggie offers getting up and heading into the adjacent bathroom.

“Oh trust me, as soon as I’m not either drunk or hungover I’m going to be all over you.” Maggie put the stuff from the bathroom on the nightstand and climbed under the covers, Alex following quickly behind her.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Maggie mumbled sleepily, Alex laughed.

“You should, I’m told I’m excellent in bed.” Alex winked at her and Maggie’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

“And who told you that?”

“Why the string of women I slept with in high school, I was quite the catch back then.” She winked again and Maggie’s eyes went wide.

“High school? How long ago was that?”

“About five years, why, jealous?” Maggie’s jaw dropped.

“I thought you were a baby gay!” Alex let out a full belly laugh at that comment.

“Nope, I’m definitely a seasoned gay at this point.”

“Oh boy, what did I get myself into?” Maggie mumbled as Alex began running her fingers languidly up and down her side.

“Oh darling, you have no idea.”

anonymous asked:

How would the 2P FACE family react to a naturally motherly SO? Like they’d let them do whatever they want they’re just always there to clean up the mess they make or if they get hurt/hungover they’ll help them feel better

Hopefully this s/o has a backbone too…or else some of these guys will try to walk all over them… -Admin Jay

2p France: “I guess I should thank you…”
Francois would never vocalize his thanks unless it was in a roundabout way. But he would see them as a pushover, and someone he could use. If they are just taking care of him and cleaning up after him, he doesn’t have to stop his ways. Therefore, he will continue down his alcoholic path without any hesitation…

2p America: “Always there for me, ain’t ya doll?”
Allen would be more shocked that someone is taking care of him constantly. Though if they lecture him, he would brush it off, since he is so used to lectures. He would try to thank them in some way, but he isn’t the best with words. Though they would have Allen protecting them like a dog on a chain. 

2p Canada: “Thanks.”
Matt would occasionally grunt a thank you at them and would try to treat them back sometimes. He would try to do nice things for them in return like making them coffee in the morning or finding them nice gifts. Though he isn’t a very verbal person at time, so hopefully they understand he is grateful, he just doesn’t express it well. 

2p England: “Oh, it’s like we are both moms!”
Oliver is the motherly type friend. So his s/o being one as well would make it almost like a domestic scene every day. He would love to try to surprise them with treats and doing any work ahead of time so they didn’t have to do it. It would be nearly perfect…nearly. It may get competitive some days…who could care for the other one more?

anonymous asked:

134 kenny

Originally posted by leelakoiwolff

“134: “Was I really that drunk?”

“Was I really that drunk?”

“You were pretty darn drunk by your standards! At one point you did a body shot off Masa!” She giggled, poking him in the side.

“Ughhh I feel so bad!” Kenny groaned, burying his head in his hands to hide his shame. He barely ever drank but for some reason, he decided to go hard the night before. One beer turned into six and a lot of Sake later he was singing Karaoke and crooning like he the second coming of Elvis. She had to strip him and put him to bed before he embarrassed himself further. 

“I think I know what might make you feel better.” She murmured, pulling back the sheets and exposing his nakedness to the cold air, her eyes darted between his and his crotch.

“What!?” Kenny asked, sounding a little too short with her. She already knew that any time he felt sick, unhappy or unwell he’d reduce himself to a moany little kid. Thankfully she knew the best way to keep him from feeling sorry for himself for the rest of the day.

“Well,” She trailed her fingers over his stomach, tracing over his V lines. “I always like it when you go down on me when I’m hungover and feel like shit… Do you think you would feel the same?”

“Uhh,” Her fingers wrapped around his rapidly stiffening member, his breathing immediately got slower. “I personally think that head should be prescribed as medicine… “He conceded, as he squirmed a little under her touch. His cock growing harder and harder in her hand, feeling him buck his hips into her closed hist, silently begging for a little bit more stimulation. 

“I dunno. Im no doctor. But if you think it would make you feel better? Then I can do it…”  She looked up at him, giving him an innocent smirk, moving up onto her knees so she could move down the bed, lowering herself towards his crotch.

“It cures all… so I hear.” He cocked his eyebrow at her, biting his lip, gasping as she trailed kisses down his body, getting closer and closer to his cock. His fingers tangled in her hair, guiding her further down until she placed a soft kiss on the velvety head, wet and glistening with precum. “I guess we won’t know unless we test it out…”

#2: I’m not drunk, I s-swear. & #12: You’re hungover. You’re not dying. - DEAN AMBROSE

Thanks to the anon who sent this one in. This one was fun to write! Hope you guys like it!!

TAGS: @monsteramongmen-tamer@wildandfreepinkv0dka@hardcorewwetrash@imagineall-the-fandoms@alexispoo@nickysmum1909@mandazord@panda-girl1999@alexahood21@66psychotic99@jboofanpage@irish-newzealand-idian-dutch@pittiemommy22@unabashedwwesmut@spine-buster@wallflowerfangirl-life / @birthday-prinxess / @tinyelfperson@nickie-amore / @randomfandompenguin / @blondekel77@ridingmoxley@southerndreamz / @cfloyd776 / @castielscamander / @theholyfallenangel / @wrasslin-rollins / @kenyadakblalock / @styles-balor4eva / @earl-01 / @wrestlingimaginesposts / @little–alphabet–boy / @princesstoniii

You heard the front door open and you glanced at the clock on the table next to your bed. 2:58am. You sighed before throwing the covers off and sitting up on the edge of the bed. You made your way down the hallway to greet Dean.

“Come on, Dean. Help me out here, brother.” You heard Roman’s deep voice say. He glanced up at you and gave you a sympathetic smile.

Dean’s arm was draped around Roman’s muscular shoulders and it looked like the larger man was supporting most of Dean’s weight.

“H-hey b-babe,” Dean slurred as he looked at you.

“Hi Dean,” you said with a sigh as you folded your arms over your chest.

“You want me to get him to bed for you?” Roman asked.

“No, it’s okay. I can handle it.”

“Okay. Have a good night, baby girl.”

“Come on, you. Let’s get you to bed.” You said as you put Dean’s arm around your shoulders and started leading him towards your bedroom.

“You smell good…like flowers.” He said before he placed a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

You giggled at how drunk Dean was. Despite the rough around the edges man that Dean was, when he was drunk and around you, he usually turned into a big softie.

“You smell like beer and whiskey. You need a shower.” You said.

“Will you come in with me?” He asked giving you a smirk.

“Dean, you’re drunk. We’re not having sex.” You said.

I’m not drunk, I s-swear.” He said as his lips sloppy kissed your neck.

“You are drunk, Dean.” You said as you helped him sit down on his side of the bed.

“No, I’m not.” He said as he looked up at you.

“Fine. You’re not drunk. Now arms up.” You said as you reached for his shirt.

“If you wanted it off, all you had to do was ask, doll,” Dean said as he lifted his arms and let you slide his black tee off him. He then reached down for his belt buckle and unbuckled it before popping the button on his jeans.

“You want these off too, darlin’?” Dean smirked at you before he stood up and slid the jeans off.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Go shower.”

“Only if you come.” He said.

“Dean we are not showering together.” You said.

“Then I guess I’m no showerin’.” He said. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you down onto the bed with him. He rolled the two of you over so that he was straddling your hips. He reached for the bottom of your shirt but you grabbed his hands, pinning them to the bed.

“Ooh, I like this.” He said as he smirked and ran his tongue over his lips as he thrust his hips up towards yours.

“You need to sleep.” You said before leaning down and pressing your lips to his. You rolled off him and curled up into his side. Within a few minutes, you could hear soft snores coming from his mouth, and you closed your eyes knowing he would be out for hours.


“Oh God,” a deep voice groaned from beside you. You opened your eyes and looked over to see Dean sat up on his side of the bed running his hands over his face.

“You okay?” You asked.

“I feel like death.” He said.

You’re hungover. You’re not dying.

“I don’t even remember coming home.” He admitted as he looked over at you.

“Ro brought you home. I took over from there.” You said.

“I wasn’t too much for you, was I?” He asked.

You knew he always felt bad when you had to take care of him when he drank too much. He liked to be the strong one in the relationship. He thought of himself as the caretaker in your relationship where he should take care of you, not the other way around.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle. Although you did try to seduce me a couple times.” You said with a smirk.

“Baby, I do that even when I’m sober.” He said with a smirk before he rolled over to straddle you. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, his hands reaching for the bottom of your shirt and sliding it off your head.


Word count: 954

Part 1

“What are you talking about?” You asked Elena, completely beffudled. You couldn’t even think straight because of all the alcohol you drank. It was one of many girls night out you, Bonnie, Caroline and Elena had. It was always funny, goofying around, and od course asking eachother inappropriate questions. Yeah it was true you didn’t have a boyfriend in a while, but hooking up with a guy for one night is not the best idea. Especially if you’re drunk.

‘Oh, c'mon! You’ll thank me later. No not later. Tomorrow.’ Elena said, putting her arm on your shoulder, laughing more than it was actually funny.

‘You guys are so drunk. And crazy’ you said and got up, heading to the restrooms. As if being drunk wasn’t doing any favours to you, you felt like someone’s following you. Watching your every step. Since the moment you walked into Mystic Grill to the moment you ordered your first drink. You tried to convince yourself it was just in your imagination and a consequence of too much alcohol in your blood stream.

'Guys, I think I’m gonna head home.’
'Already?’ Caroline asked, pouting.
'Yeah, I don’t feel well and I have to get up early tomorrow.’
'Party pooper’ Elena said, and danced at the same time. You just laughed before taking your jacket and your purse, walking out of the Grill, chilly spring breeze hitting your face. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you walked through dark-ish streets of Mystic Falls.
You’ve never walked this slow in your life. Thank god you weren’t wearing heels because who knows how the hell you’d get home. Maybe with a broken ankle. Or barefoot. Yes, definitely barefoot.

You finally reached your house, taking out your keys and unlocking the door, stumbling over your own feet.

'Dammit!’ You mumled, throwing your purse on the couch and took off your shoes. Entering your bedroom, you took your clothes off and put on your PJ before heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Suddenly you hear a noise. Like someone knocked over a lamp.

'Hello?’ You asked, now fear going through your body. 'Is anybody there?’ No response. You quickly rinsed and went to your bedroom, getting into your bed.
Minutes passed and you tried to forget about what just happened so you turned off the light and rolled onto the other side, falling asleep.

Even in your sleep you felt like someone’s right beside you, watching your every move, even whispering something in your ear or touching your arm, painfully, touching your arm. You quickly opened your eyes and you could’ve sworn you saw a dark figure standing in front of your bedroom window. You shook your head and went back to sleep, trying not to think about it anymore because it would either keep you up all night or make you call someone to keep you company until you fall asleep.


'You guys are rude’ you almost whispered, hungover taking over your body. Every word, every step, every whisper just felt too loud. Hightened.
'There, now you know how vampires feel when everything is heightened’ Caroline said, laughing.
'Ha ha, very funny.’
'Hey, that guy over there’ she pointed at him (wow), 'is looking at you. Like all the time.’ You turned around and smiled at him.
'Maybe I should-’
'No!’ Bonnie snapped at you, making you, Elena and Caroline look at her in confussion.
'Why not?’ You asked.
'Remember that guy Damon and I met in prison world?’
'You mean the one who killed his own family and is a complete sociopath?’
'Bingo. That’s him. Kai Parker. So, y/n, stay away from him unless you want to end up like his family did.’
'Noted.’ You said, assuring Bonnie you’d stay away from him, feeling frightened now more than ever because you had nothing to protect yourself with. Well, you did have magic. Bonnie taught you some of the spells, but you were far from being as good as Bonnie.

Girls left, leaving you alone at Mystic Grill. You need some time on your own. You were writing something in your notebook when you heard a male voice.

'Hi gorgeous’

You looked up and saw him. Malachai freaking Parker. The worse of the worst. Your heart started beating like crazy, even though you kept telling yourself to calm down. He would never do anything that would make him to reveal himself in front of all these people. Right?

'I… I gotta go.’ You stuttered, trying to get up, but his hand gripped your shoulder, feeling the pain you’ve never experienced in your life before. It made you sit down again, squirm under his grip. He let you go after a few seconds, the pain completely disappearing.

'What… what the hell did you just do to me?’ You gasped.

'Oh, I just siphoned some of your magic. Thanks for that btw. Hey, how do you know Bonnie?’ He asked, taking some of the leftover fries you had on your plate.

'Siphoned? What does that even mean?’

'I just showed you what it means, duh.’ He said, laughing, crossing his arms.

'Yeah, I don’t have time for this so..’ you got up but he caught your arm again, this time without siphoning.

'Tell your friends, if I don’t get what I want, I’ll siphon every single part of magic you have in your body and let me tell you, it doesn’t end well. Oh and, thanks for that little part of you. It was very refreshing.’ He said, getting up and walking out of the grill, leaving you stumped and very confused. You grabbed all your stuff and quickly went to Salvatore’s house, knowing everyone will be there.

Star-Crossed Lovers//Stiles Stilinski & Isaac Lahey - Part 3

Characters: Isaac Lahey, Stiles Stilinski, Reader.

Stiles groans as he sits up, rubbing his eyes. “I feel like I’m not as hungover as I should be.”

You didn’t sleep last night, “I gave you an aspirin before bed.” You sit up beside him. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

“I forgave you, didn’t I?” He looks over at you.

You nod, “I’m totally giving you the opportunity for take-backs right now, too.”

He sighs and puts his head in his hands, “You make it hard to be mad at you, no matter what you did, when you sit there all cute saying take-backs. I don’t want to take it back. I’m still extremely pissed, but I get it. I’ll dial back work.”

“Stiles you don’t have to do that.”

“Look, I’ll never forget that you cheated, but I won’t lose our marriage over something that was terrible, but not prison worthy.”

“Oh, baby.” You smile as you caress his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“Let’s just not think about it, okay?” He looks over at you.

“Can I ask you something, though?” You climb out of bed, Stiles adopting a smile when he sees his jersey on you.


“You forgave me..will you forgive Isaac?”

He sighs and gets out of the bed, stretching. “I’ll try. Right now I need coffee and another aspirin.”

“Do you even remember showering last night?”

“I showered?”

You look at his hair, which is normal quiffed up, pointing in different directions. It’s flat against his head, the length making you smile. “Yeah. You did. You actually stripped down in here and ran down the hallway naked.”

“Oh, nice.” He looks at you and nods as he makes his way for the door.

“I took good care of you. Don’t worry.” You smile and follow him downstairs.

“You always do.” He smiles at you over his shoulder.

Why was he being so forgiving?

You sat at the counter, watching as he made coffee.

“I’m going to take an aspirin and call Isaac. I just can’t hold a grudge.” He grabs his phone and takes the pill. You watch as he dials the oh-so-familiar number and walks out of the room.

“Isaac’s on his way.” Stiles walks back into the room.

You nod, “Should I go upstairs?”

“No. I’m making amends, you should be there.”

“Okay then.”

You sit and talk with him, you can’t help but stare at the black eye Isaac gave him yesterday. You felt so bad.

Your stomach knotted up when the doorbell rang. Stiles let him in and you heard them exchange before Isaac was ushered into the kitchen with you.

“Hey, Y/N.” He smiles at you. You nod and wave, hopping Stiles doesn’t pick up on the tension.

Your phone buzzed and you glanced at it.

I meant what I said last night on the phone

It was Isaac. You texted back.

so did i. stiles trying to mend things. don’t screw this up

Isaac and Stiles talked for awhile before Isaac when home and Stiles left for work. The second he knew Stiles was out of the house he called you.

“Jesus he just walked out the door.” You say.

“I know. I see him. Listen, I really am in love with you, and as you confusing as it is for you it’s worse on me. I can’t break up a marriage but I also can’t let you go.”

“Isaac, we said no feelings. I thought we meant that.”

“So, you’re saying you never had feelings for me? It was just about the sex for you?”

He’s jumping to conclusions. “No I never said that.” You sigh.

“So, you have feelings for me?”

“No, Isaac. I didn’t say that either. Can’t you just accept that I’m married?”

“No. Apparently you couldn’t either.”

“Hey, don’t play that card!”

“I’m sorry…I just…do you know that..that he cheated on you?”

“What?” Your body went cold.

“About a year ago.”

“You’re lying.”

“I wish I was.”

“With who? Who was it?”


“No..you’re lying, Isaac.”

“Y/N, I was there.”

“Why did no one try to stop him if you were there?”

“We did, trust me. He wasn’t having it.”

You know you cheated on him, but you felt like your world just ended.

Two Weeks//A Bo Burnham Imagine

anonymous said: “bo burnham onshot where its the last day before he goes on his new tour?”



“This is it.” You said, throwing another of Bo’s shirts into his suitcase from the dresser in your bedroom.

“What?” He asked.

“You’re leaving tomorrow… for three months.” You said, your voice getting quieter with every word.

Having a boyfriend that traveled the country doing stand-up comedy was more difficult than you had imagined it would be.

“Oh, baby.” He came around from his side of the bed to yours and wrapped his arms around you from behind, his forehead resting on your shoulder. “You’re going to see me in a couple of weeks at my show in your hometown.” He reminded you.

“I know, but it still sucks.” You dropped what you were doing and turned to face him. “I finally got used to seeing your face every day, just as I won’t.”

“It’s only three months, baby.” He said, looking down at you. “We’ve been together for a year. We can make it. I believe in us.” With the last sentence, he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“I know.” You said, letting out a sigh. “I believe in us, too.” He smiled.

“Good. Now I’m going to go get us some food.” He kissed you quickly before pulling away to grab his keys from the night stand. “Chinese?” He asked. You groaned.

You hated Chinese food and he knew that.

“I swear to god, Bo Burnham, if you come back with Chinese food-” You were cut off when the front door shut. “Dick.” But you were smiling.


The next morning, when light peeked in through your blinds and you felt Bo turn over in bed to face you, you kept your back turned to him, pretending to be asleep.

You wanted to keep him close as long as you possibly could.

“Pretending to be asleep doesn’t change my flight time, (y/n).” He said in your ear, seeing right through your act like he always did.

You sighed and turned over, allowing him to pull you against his chest.

“I know. But I wish it did.” You said sadly. He sighed against you.

“Me too. But we have to get up now.”

“Are you sure.” You asked. He lifted his arm and stared at his bare wrist like he was looking at a watch. You giggled.

He always knew how to make you laugh.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” He leaned over and kissed you deeply for a moment. “Let’s get dressed.”


You arrived at the airport with just enough time to get Bo through all the complicated security measures and for him to barely have two minutes left with you before he had to board.

“You think with how popular I am, I would have a private jet by now.” You rolled your eyes.

“Oh no, show Bo is here.” He grinned and pulled you into his arms.

“Not for you, (y/n). You always get the real me.” He leaned down so that his nose rested gently against the side of your forehead.

“Last call for flight 318.” The quiet female voice- who sounded like she was probably hungover- said over the loud speaker.

“That’s me.” Bo whispered.

“I know.” You said, feeling your stomach drop. “You should probably go.” He nodded and pulled away from you. He headed for the door and you looked away. Watching him leave was too painful.

“(y/n)!” You heard him yell. You turned in just enough time for his body to slam into yours as he wrapped you tightly in his arms. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“Two weeks.” You agreed kissing him once more before you had to let go.

“Bye.” His voice was the saddest you’d ever heard it as he walked through the doorway.

“Two weeks.” You repeated to yourself.


requests are open.

not to give a lecture but here's my 2 cents

I had a long weekend; I drank too much on Saturday and was hungover for most of the day yesterday and you know what I realized? That my actions and words have consequences. I feel like that’s not…. a new concept … and that some of us have to really internalize this and maybe take a step back from fandom antics every now and then you know?

I don’t think we should trivialize the events that took place around the men of easy company, however accurately they were portrayed in the show. And I think that we all need to be careful when straddling the line between reality and fiction. Bottom line. I also think that everyone should just simply think before they speak/post, okay?

I had a nice birthday. My parents and the pup came down and we went to lunch at Cafe Anduluz (the restaurant that holds my heart forever the tapas are so so delicious) then had a few drinks in Moskito in the evening, was going to go home then my friend Hayley arrived and we went to Subby. Saw O but did not give Two Shits and I just had a great time dancing instead. I am deathly hungover today and I’m surviving off irn bru and orange slices. The pessimist inside me says why should 27 be any different but I actually feel very hopeful for the year ahead. 27 is like actual woman age though I very much still am a girl.

I’ve been running on fumes these last few days at work. Today, after microwaving my soup for lunch I got up and opened the freezer and just stared inside of it, completely blanking at why I’d gotten up for a lot longer than I should have. I gave the contents a shuffle like I was looking for something once I realized it - 10/10 smooth recovery. Still, this isn’t good - today was tougher than hell. What we are doing is extremely technical and not something I can do tired, hungover, or without some kind of overpriced shady street nootropics really. It feels like the work of an engineer/licensed surveyor/legal researcher/field technician with a PhD…all with a suffocating deadline, mandatory 60 hour weeks, and if we do this for a month longer, I will be asking demanding a raise for myself and my crew. 

I look like a hollow-eyed zombie these days. Which is kind of a cool look, I can work with it. But a solid 80% of my eyelashes have fallen out since moving here (?!?!), city water makes my skin and hair really dry, and I haven’t slept right in months. The dark circles I have aren’t grey or purple, they’re black. I do a lot of stupid things, but the consistent crimes I commit against myself that are going to kill me are chain smoking and (willful) sleep deprivation. 

Matty Healy [one shot 1]

He smelled like cigarettes and his favourite cologne. Although he hadn’t smoked for hours, the scent of smoke was still present. It always was, and I liked it like that. His smell reminded me of those evenings on my balcony, just the two of us smoking and staring at the stars. I’d love to do that again, but somehow it seems like he’s not into that anymore.

Of course he’s exhausted from being on tour for so long, but I feel like he’s not into doing things with me anymore apart from kissing and cuddling and making love. It’s weird to cook, clean and do the groceries while he’s out and about, fuck knows what he’s actually doing. I often think about the time when he wasn’t as busy as he now is, the time when we used to walk in the park and drink tasteless black coffee in crappy coffee shops for hours. It’d be us against the world, but now he sleeps until noon and leaves after only a bowl of cereals.

I sat up, letting go of his arm which had laid around my waist all night long. My body shivered as my feet touched the cold wooden floor. I got up and got out of my slip dress, searching for a pair of jeans and a sweater. I put on a black tee, which I guess was Matty’s, and slid into a pair of black jeans. I didn’t even bother to check my hair and make up, because my make up should be in the place it was last night and I simply didn’t care about my hair.

The sound of a moving Matty startled me a bit, I hope I didn’t wake him up. I turned around to look at him, just to make sure he was asleep. But he wasn’t, his sleepy stared at me and I stared back. He checked me out from head to toe which made me feel uncomfortable, it’s weird because it doesn’t necessarily makes me feel insecure, I just don’t like the way he looks at me when he checks me out.

‘Good morning babe,’ he said with his raspy voice.

'Morning,’ I sighed. 'I was just going for a smoke outside, if you don’t mind.’

'I’d love to accompany you, if you don’t mind.’ He’s such a babe.

'I don’t, but Matty, I can tell you’re hungover so maybe you should get some more sleep. It’s only eight AM.’ I don’t want to be rude but he needs his sleep, he got so pissed last night. I bet he doesn’t remember that he puked a couple of hours ago, it was disgusting to be honest.

'No, I’m alright, just having a slight headache. I’m sure some fresh air will do good, give me a minute.’ I watched him getting out of bed and searching for some clothes, he looked awfully wrecked.

I just stood there, awkwardly watching him, so I figured out I’d better go get him some Advils and a glass of water. The bedroom door led me straight to the living area of our small apartment. It was a complete mess : piles of clothes, coats and books were everywhere. Ashtrays full of cigarette butts were on the dining table as well as on the couch, and I could easily spot five empty bottles of wine in a quick glance. Fuck, when did this happen? The thought of cleaning this shit made me cringe already. But first, I really needed my smoke right now.

I quickly grabbed the last clean glass and filled it with water, Matty was now searching his boots in the living room.

'Babe, I got you some Advils.’

'Thanks love.’ I watched him get into his boots - they were under the couch - and walk over to me to take the pair of Advils and drink the water. He put his empty glass in the sink and leaned in to hug me.

'I’m so lucky to have you, Y/N,’ he whispered in my ear.

I leant back and looked him straight in the eyes.

'I love you, Matty. You should know that by now.’

We have been together for months now, and as strange as it may seem, I’ve never told him I loved him. Neither did he tell me, but I was okay with it because it has always been obvious to me that he cared. And that’s all I’d ever needed, but I really wanted a response from him now. Although I said to myself it didn’t bother because he cared anyways, it did bother. I wanted him to love me too, I was hoping that wasn’t too much to ask for.

But I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for, all he did was nod and give me a quick peck on my lips. I followed him while he got out of our hug and left the front door.

He didn’t bother to wait on me while I closed and locked the door and he simply got in the lift. I got really annoyed when I heard the lift doors close and I decided to take the stairs. Luckily, we only lived on the third floor so the few stairs wouldn’t exhaust me too much. When I made it to the hall I got even more upset because he’d already gone outside. I got my cigs out of my coat’s pocket and realised I’d lost my lighter. Whilst going outside I immediately spotted Matty, sitting on a bench at the park on the other side of the road. If it wasn’t for a light I wouldn’t even ran up to him, to be honest.

'Can you give me a light?’ I didn’t want to sit next to him so I just stood there.

He nodded an handed me his lighter, looking as uninterested in me as possible. Fucking jerk.

I quickly lit my cigarette and took a drag. I was one hundred percent done by now.

'You know what?’ I spat out while I threw his lighter on to his lap. 'Fuck you Matty, fuck you and all your fucking bullshit.’

I walked into the park, struggling to hold the tears back and violently taking long drags of my fag.

'Please, Y/N!’ I heard him calling my name but it only made things worse. Couldn’t he just leave me alone?

I felt his hand grab my shoulder while his other hand tried to get hold of my waist. At that point I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and I started to hysterically sob. He now forced me into a tight embrace and let me sob on his shoulder. He tried to comfort me by whispering calming words in my ear and lightly stroking my back. When I’d calmed down a bit I was able to take the last drags of my cig and breathe again.

'Matty?’ I asked, my voice cracked but I didn’t care.

'I just want to hold you,’ he said whilst getting an ever tighter grip on my waist.

'I love you, Matty.’ It wasn’t my intention to say it, but I just did. As simply as it is, I just love him. It was the right thing to do, because I know that he’ll be okay with it. Matty means a lot to me, the way he always knows how to comfort me, the way he likes to have deep conversations, it has always felt right with him. And even without conformation I just know he feels the same, if he didn’t he would’ve have got out of whatever we’re doing right now a long time ago. Right?

'Y/N, I care so much about you. I care, for fucks sake. I fucking care about you.’ His hands cupped my face and he leant in for a kiss.

I leant back to look in his eyes.

'That’s all I’ll ever need.’

For @poetry-protest-pornography, because we keep infecting each other with fic ideas and I was starting to feel bad about it, so I figured I should actually finish one of them and banish at least one of the unwritten demons I keep inadvertently summoning. This one started because of this post about how werewolves burn too many calories during transformations and just get mistaken for being hungover when they show up in diners at weird hours to eat all the food.

Just because Stiles needed a part-time job during college didn’t mean he had to like it. Sure, he’d been lucky enough to swing the late-night shift at the one actually good all-night diner near campus, which netted him both edible free food on his break and the time to do most of his homework during the lulls between customers, but honestly, the fact that he had to deal with customers at all was still a source of annoyance. Needless to say, he wasn’t exactly killing it on tips.

The door chimed. With a sigh, he took his highlighter out of his mouth and looked up. “Sit wherever, I’ll be with you in a sec,” he rattled off automatically before his brain caught up to his eyes. This dude looked… rough. Pale, unshaven, eyes bloodshot and exhausted, and currently glaring from under some seriously murderous eyebrows. Jesus. Stiles detoured to the serving station for the coffee pot, figuring he’d save himself a trip, because if this guy’s first priority wasn’t caffeine, well, it should be.

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