i feel like i need more

anonymous asked:

Bitter Sunday prompt: Team Freeloader seeing that Tony Stark doesn't need them when they get back and yet they need him. But he's all out of fucks to give about them.

For some reason I feel like I keep being the hardest on Clint in these bitter posts and showing more understanding/regret/etc from Natasha and Steve, so I figured I’d mix it up and start this one with him. Because I genuinely like all the characters, I’m just very unhappy with some of their choices (and obviously Tony is my favourite and I’m by no means unbiased).

When Clint first gets off the plane back in his birth country he isn’t happy like he’s envisioned himself being for months. He’s dreamed so many times of this moment, but now that it is actually happening, there’s no relief. No excitement.

Only–he’s not sure what’s left or how to call it but it feels empty.

Seeing his family again goes not at all and exactly like he thought it would. Laura slaps him, though she’s crying to hard for it to truly hurt. Unlike when she twists away from him, avoids his touch, because that. That won’t ever not hurt. Lila is smiling at him, a tiny thing, like she’s not supposed to but can’t help herself. She’s clinging to Cooper’s hand, who’s glaring darkly in a not at all encouraging way. And there’s Nathaniel, the son that doesn’t even know him, just pats his mother’s cheek awkwardly in an attempt to stop her tears and–

Clint isn’t ashamed to say he flees. He doesn’t know what to do or say to make this better and he just…takes the easy way out. He moves back into the compound, away from the family he doesn’t quite know, only it’s not the same.

The compound has always been his home away from home, sometimes perhaps more so than it should have been. It’s different now though, hasn’t been the same since their return. At first Clint assumes he’s simply remembering things better than they actually were. With how often he’s been lying in Wakanda’s ridiculously idyllic gardens, dreaming of this place, it’s entirely possible after all.

Besides a lot of the things he notices in the beginning are small, easily forgotten. They just begin to pile up after a while.

Like the way Clint can’t remember the water ever having turned cold on him before–but maybe he’s just never showered long enough? Or the way their fridge ends up being empty more often than not and how their laundry just keeps piling up until Sam snaps and declares Saturday laundry day–and you better be there or else.

Then there is their battle gear. It’s starts with the clothes, which are good quality and the right size. But. They aren’t great quality and they aren’t tailored. And Clint wouldn’t have noticed this a few short years back, but now he does. Now he knows how it could be. Knows that the material doesn’t have to stick to his skin quite as uncomfortable, doesn’t have to limit his mobility just a slightest bit. It goes on with his weapons. The knifes that are decent but not perfectly designed for the kind of throwing he prefers. The arrows that are just arrows, are replaced after every fight but don’t suddenly appear out of thin air–and that is something Clint remembers well, the excitement when he used a new kind of arrow, uncertain of what to expect, the thrill of all the new possibilities once he realises what their purpose is–and he misses it.

The first time they’re out in the field again, they almost get killed. Sam is in the hospital for three weeks, Clint only barely escapes with a broken arm and a concussion. It’s not because they’ve forgotten how to fight, it’s because they’ve made a terrible, idiotic mistake that Clint wants to hit himself for even months later. 

Because for some inexplicable reason it hadn’t occurred to any of them that Iron Man wouldn’t join them. (He hadn’t been called on, they later learn, because the threat hadn’t been deemed that dangerous–and it wouldn’t have been, if only they had adjusted their strategy accordingly.)

The training Steve puts them through after that episode is rigorous but nobody dares to complain. And it doesn’t happen again, not on that grade, but Clint is a decent agent, he recognises that their efficiency isn’t what it was. He recognises what–who–is missing.

He finds himself watching Stark on TV sometimes now, during reports of attacks they haven’t been called in to handle–Stark’s not alone, Clint notices, and can’t put his finger on why that bothers him–interviews, even gossip channels. He doesn’t know why. Doesn’t know when he’s stopped hurling insults designed to hurt at the screen, just that he did. 

It takes Clint three months to admit to himself that he misses Tony Stark. He doesn’t say it out loud, isn’t sure he ever will. He never asks the others about their thoughts on the billionaire either, though it’s no secret that Steve has been trying to patch things up–and has been insistently rebuffed with a polite distance Clint wouldn’t have believed Stark capable of if he hadn’t witnessed it with his own eyes.

He doesn’t reach out, doesn’t call the man. He could, he supposes, though the thought of having to apologise for some of the things he’s said in anger leaves a stale taste on his tongue. Clint has never been good at apologies. He’s much preferred that silent understanding he used to share with Tony–and maybe that’s part of the problem.

Either way it doesn’t matter because Stark is so far removed from them now, it’s hard to imagine they’ll ever be reunited again. He’s there occasionally, during battles, but they never even hear his voice, it’s always just FRIDAY on the comms. And contrary to Steve Clint can take a fucking hint. He isn’t going to run after the other man, he doesn’t want to.

Really.

And if he occasionally finds himself glaring at the TV where Stark and a masked Spiderman exchange jokes in front of the excited reporters, well, it’s not like he’s jealous or something. That would just be stupid.

It takes another thirteen weeks for Clint to admit to himself that the things he misses most about Stark aren’t the nice things he gave them, the money or the way he always seemed to know how to redirect the presses’ attention in a way that benefitted them. 

It’s the way Stark used to join him in the kitchen at ass crack in the morning sometimes, hand him a cup of hot chocolate and stare silently into nothingness, just to keep Clint company. It’s the way they used to watch Gilmore Girls together and constantly make references to the show, just to confuse Steve and piss him off. It’s the way Stark nodded off against Clint’s shoulder sometimes, after a particularly exhausting day, like he hadn’t been mind-controlled by a psychotic alien mere weeks ago.

Not that it matters anymore, now.

Staring unblinkingly at his ringing phone showcasing Laura’s number that Clint can’t bring himself to answer, he bitterly wonders to himself if maybe that’s why he was always going to follow Steve’s call at the drop of a hat–because he’s always been better at running rather than staying.


I’m not sure this is what you had in mind but I tried my best. The focus was supposed to be Clint’s friendship with Tony rather than the fallout from the Accords, and then things just got completely out of control *shrug*

4

Trying to get some good angles for this diorama, but I feel like I need a better way to get a good lighting.

So this is a Tyranid Maleceptor about to eat / get shot by an Imperial Guard Lord Commissar. There are some dead Guardsmen littering and a few tentacles. I’m still working on the “gore” of them.

I enjoy making these dioramas much more than individual models now (especially since I’m not playing anymore).

I don’t like how the guardsmen turned out, but I like the brainy parts of the Maleceptor. It was my first time creating desert so that was a challenge too.

BOTTOMS VS TOPS

Back to the topic .. Only because I feel the need to express MY opinion. You can either agree with me or disagree which is fine… Going back to what I was saying.. asking what might be just a simple question to some but to others hmmmm it might be rather offensive in a way. I feel it comes down to what we are in this “gay society”… We are more than just a top and a bottom and I hate to say this but these labels need to go away. We keep labeling ourselves and make it easier for others to target us because of what we like in our sexual role. It should be about bonding together and creating an equal for us to be just like everyone else. We have a long way to go… and to the DUMB FUCK saying that we should normalize this type of behavior.. is a complete idiot in thinking that is the solution. We need to see the bigger picture of this issue. I had a conversation with a fellow snapchatter and he pointed out some good points. Some do seek validation from others whether they choose to disclose if they are bottoms or tops and for the guys seeking that validation gives them the satisfaction and relief knowing that to bottom doesn’t make you any more or less masculine than anyone else. But where does the root of this come from? Who says a man is less because he’s gay or he likes to bottom ? Everyone around us and everyone in our circle. No matter short or tall.. big or small .. We all come in different shapes and that goes to say with our preference in whatever role we play… we all are different in our own way. There’s nothing wrong being a bottom. I’m not saying you should scream it out loud or anything because something like that should be your business and the person you’re having intercourse with. I’ve seen so many jokes, parodies and insults in regard to people bringing down bottoms… We’re just digging ourselves deeper. Humanity is loosing it’s morals and values. And being a top doesn’t make you a tough man. What really makes you a man is understanding the true meaning. And that true meaning is what you want it to be defined. You don’t need anyones approval. Or anyone putting you down for showing emotions/feelings. At the end of the day we are all human. So what defines us as men is sticking together and supporting one another and being able to show courage in our weakest moments. To be good role models for the younger generation. Self esteem affects a lot of us we just need to know how to control it with how our minds perceive certain things. Image only last so long and what truly matters is whats inside our hearts. Our energy of love goes beyond…. Like I said if the love is blossoming then it will all work out and it won’t matter …Bottom or top. If you read this and got at least one thing out of this then my job here is done… I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this.

Something About a Feeling

This is it. My blood, sweat, and tears. It’s been a long time coming with this one, so I want to thank @trulymadlysydney and @outofworkactress for giving me the words I need to hear so I can finally release this into the world. I feel like a mother on their child’s first day of school. It’s a bittersweet feeling. 

In the words of @permanentcross, this is my favorite sandbox to mess with, and the more I try to explain it, the worse it turns out, but simply stated, Harry is infatuated with a girl who would never want him.

I’ve edited this a thousand times, and it’s still not perfect, but if I don’t let this little bird fly away now, it never will. So, please be kind. I’m trying my hardest. x

The first time he sees you, a mere glance from across the room, he has to remind himself he has a girlfriend. A lovely woman, she was, like most of the female counterparts he took in his life, but like most woman he chose to spend his time with, they all had one thing in common. Temporary. He knew he was growing closer to the end with this one; Hannah, a friend of a friend who was easy on the eyes, laughed at his sore attempts at jokes, and quite simply, knew she herself was as temporary as a toothbrush. They’d keep each other company for the time being and a couple of months down the road, they’d part ways, and the rest would be history. Simple as that.

But the first time he sees you, cuddled a little too close to his best mate, peering down at his phone as a small giggle escaped your parted lips, he stops dead in his tracks and backtracks. You were a catch.

Niall had his arm swung behind you, resting carelessly along the wooden seats, and Harry almost digs at himself as he resorts back to their conversation the night before wondering if he had missed the part in text where Niall stated he’d be bringing a female guest of interest. He doesn’t remember anything of the sort, but it doesn’t go unnoticed when he hands his beer out to you, and you instantly wince when the dark lager meets your lips.

Looks like he was playing third wheel tonight.

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anonymous asked:

GOOD LORD YOUR TAGS ON THE OVERSHARING VIA BOND POST. "ARE YOU JEALOUS ~MASTER~" *HE SAYS PINNING OBI AGAINST A WALL* MY GOSH THE IMAGE I would like to formally request a tumblr one shot obikin/obianidala about that on your prompt list for if/when you want to write but need a break from your wonderful glorious stories that I also adore

I’ll have to dig around to like the post this was in reference to, but here you are ‘nonnie! In summary: it was about Obi-Wan feeling it every time Anakin & Padme have sex & getting frustrated about it.

Oversharing

Rating: E

Pairings: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker/Padme Amidala

Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, That’s Not How the Force Works, Porn Without Plot, Polyamory

~2500 Words

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anonymous asked:

Ok I have a confession. I was raised on the 1996 Pride and Prejudice and was always strictly against the 2005 version just because they had to cut stuff out to shorten it, and I was so used to the actors in the 1996 version. Your blog has convinced me like 99.9% of the way to try watching the 2005 version if for nothing else than for the aesthetic. Like I'm almost there. What would you say is the biggest reason to watch it? I need one more push to get over my mental block against it lol

The 2005 version may not be the most strictly accurate to the book adaptation but the whole feel of it from the cinematography to the acting /feels/ like how the book feels when you read it you know what I mean?

ABOUT

My name is Roman, he/him, I’m an adult if that makes anyone uncomfortable.

In a past life I was a king and this blog is dedicated to things revolving around that. This blog contains themes that could be considered darker, if you need anything tagged feel free to ask.

Please read everything under the tag #important as it explains more about this blog. Both the rules and the FAQ can be found under that tag. Please read those things before sending any asks or submissions as it explains most things.

Thank you!

anonymous asked:

I don't know when I'm with a guy I don't feel anything like nothing no spark I try so hard to but I never been with a girl but I just feel like I more connected to to them than anything like if I went with a girl I'll be happy but coming out isn't an option, i don't even know I'm gay

You don’t need to label yourself love. Connect with whoever you want and you don’t necessarily need to come out to anyone. I’m sure you’ll figure it out in time. It may be confusing to you atm but I promise it gets easier and better

I know I haven’t really been a very supportive or active blog this year. I’m really sorry about that. I’m just…constantly tired, and scrolling through my dash just fatigues me even more.

My motivation to work on art is honestly really low, as well as motivation to do mangacaps.

For some reason art has felt like…a chore or something recently. I guess I need a break. Although I never really do much of anything.

I guess right now feels like this long cycle of nothing. Every single week is the same. Heck, every day is the same. I feel like I’m living in a dull routine that I can’t even break out of. Summer will be even worse, because I dread school, but I dread my house even more. I can’t even explain the amount of black and white my life has become. Colorless.

And then I have people yelling at me telling me to do something with my life. I could have my license. I could have a job. I could have my career or even at least a college picked out. But I have nothing and I know nothing.

crazybunny02-blog  asked:

I feel like Balem would get more and more daring with the dresses, picking ones out for her that slowly get more revealing until she's barley wearing anything and he can't let her out of the room because 'oh god if I let her go in public like this I won't be able to stand it'

Yessssss! I love how it’s more like ‘I can’t handle it’ not 'oh she needs some dignity left’ lmao That selfish little shit

life update

i am currently home from school.

i pretty much had a mental breakdown on saturday, and begged my boyfriend to take me home with him following his visit with me. my parents agreed that me coming home would probably be best, so i am spending this next week at home. i don’t know much more than that at this point in time.

this is probably the worst week of the school year to miss. i don’t really know how exactly i’m going to manage all of my assignments, but i do know that being at home in chapel hill is the best thing for me right now. i could feel myself slowly fading away, and i basically felt like i was becoming a robot.

i needed to come home. school can wait. i will be okay.

anonymous asked:

hi sweetie!!!! just had to let you know how much I love you omg. I'm sq-shipper and almost cry when I see you defending us :') there should be more people like you. thank you for existing and being awesome.

Awwwww!!! This is so sweet, I’m glad it had such a positive impact on you!!! @killianjones also deserves a lot of love for what she has been saying

Also, I just want you to know that despite what my nasty anons are saying: there is plenty of csers who care about the feelings of sq shippers. Who respect sqers, who are more than willing to put aside ships and be supportive of sqers when need be. I’ve gotten so many positive messages from csers and I don’t want you to believe that all of us except just a few hate you guys. There is nasty ones, of course, but I promise you that so many people are able to look past ships and bias and see you for who you are. Please never let the actions of a few hateful csers stop you from interacting with us, we don’t like them either lmao

anonymous asked:

-gasps- "It eventually escalates to the point where Player raises their Keyblade against him. Ephemera doesn’t move." - you wrote this in one of your recent reblogs, and could you maybe do a short scenario of it for ephemera and the player? Thank you and have a nice daaaaay!

@memestride expanded a bit on that here, and I suck at writing in general action scenes, but because I really like this idea and you asked so nicely, I decided to give it a shot by briefly continuing memestrides’ part. Credit to @keykidpilipili for the original idea :)

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anonymous asked:

I feel like I'm a horrible person because I can rly like someone when there's no 'feelings' involved but then when they start getting romantic feelings for me that makes me extremely uncomfortable.. and then they feel hurt and don't want to even stay in touch any more. I just figured out I'm probably aro, so I guess the best thing for me to do is being clear from the start that I'm not into romance and that I need my space? Do u have any advice?

first off, you’re definitely not a horrible person for that. you’re allowed to feel whatever kinds of love/attraction you’re capable of, and being incapable of the romantic kind does not have any effect on your worth as a person. being uncomfortable when others are romantic towards you is 1000% okay, anon. you’re not obligated to be happy or grateful about their feelings.

in my opinion, i think you should do what you think is best for you. you’re not obligated to tell people your personal feelings, but if you think it would help you get over obstacles like this, then there’s no harm in it.

if followers would like to add advice, please do~

Madoka and Homura may be fated to one day fight as Gods… But everyone else, more or less, has it good. Sayaka and Kyouko are together…

Mami and Bebe are… uh… Man what the fuck was even with Bebe in this film? I don’t understand why they felt the need to introduce an entirely new character. I know the Clown-Snake was very popular in Japan, so I’m feeling like her inclusion was fan-service, pure and simple. Y’know, the non-lewd brand of fan-service.

And Madoka has her family.

For now.

Two Hundred and Twenty-nine - Existence, 3.0

A/N: Happy Sunday, everyone! So, writing chapters like this one, I end up having to go back through all the others and look for injuries I’ve written about. And then I just feel bad about what I put this pairing through. I think maybe I need to write more ‘happy,’ you know?

I do not own FMA.


Two Hundred and Twenty-nine - Existence, 3.0

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anonymous asked:

I FEEL LIKE DYING CAN U GIVE ME THE MOST PAINFUL JIMIN FANCAM I WANT DEATH PLS‬

oh anon… my dear anon… why do u want to suffer aslkfjsdkjf but ok i can help you with that

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 

also this onethis one & this one!! i know you asked for the most painful but… there are too many i couldn’t choose but i hope this helps!