i feel like i could do this better


2017.03.24 💃 Jazzercise Dance Mixx

I swear I was sweating like crazy, but I forgot to take an ‘after’ picture until I got home and apparently my hair mostly dried in that time so it doesn’t look like it.

So, feeling a lot better today. I did get to the chiropractor this morning and got adjusted and it seems to have helped, although still a bit touchy. I still did low impact today, but could move a lot better than Wednesday. That, combined with now having a clue what the moves are in the routines the sub is doing, made tonight a much harder workout. 

I scheduled another chiro and massage appointment for 2 weeks. I usually go 4 between appointments, but since I missed getting my massage, and since it’s been touchy, I figured I’d go back sooner and hopefully keep it feeling okay.

Before last night, I never really thought of just how close Mark thought of his viewers. I did consider myself a fan, yes, but I kinda just stayed a fan of Mark. In hindsight, I think I treated him like any other celebrity: influential, but to the point where trying to talk to him would just be wasting his time, when he could be using those seconds…I dunno, doing another video. Helping others through their daily grind in life. I don’t have depression. I don’t have anxiety. If anything, unlike everyone else, if I didn’t watch a Markiplier video, I think I can manage the day. So, to me, dropping a message to him just felt like I was taking time and attention away from people who had better, more influential messages.

Know all of that when I say that, after that vlog, I Feel Lost, I think it’s time for me to finally say something to Mark. Not Markiplier. Mark. It probably won’t reach you (hell, the first paragraph is about me, you probably skimmed this all already), but these are honestly what I think and believe.


It’s okay. You deserve all of this. And this is enough for all of us.

I’ve been watching this channel since 2014. I even remember the first video I watched: “Forbidden.exe”, and I thought it was fun. Game was kind of meh in hindsight but most of my entertainment came from you. You screaming about formatting hard drives made me laugh so much I came for more videoes. Actually, rewatching it, not much has changed between you then and you now. So it really was just your personality that had brought all your subscribers to you.

You please all of us already with your videoes. We watch them because we want to watch you play them. If we didn’t like them, then we just won’t watch them. It’s 17 million people. Trying to please all of us is a futile effort. But 17 million people had gathered together because they saw the “you” in your videos and decided it was worth their time. So if you just keep doing what you’re doing, then those subscribers will be satisfied. They came here to see your personal journey. They want to see how far you go. Hell, I think most of us are curious about you going out and exploring more possibilities. Those skits you did for some of your videos? You clearly enjoyed doing them. And when you enjoy something, we enjoy it too, because we can see the happiness.

So stop worrying about us. We are 17 million people. We can handle ourselves and this community. You go focus on you. Do what you want to do. Focus on what you wish to achieve. You are only one man, and that is enough for us. You, Mark, are enough for all of us.

Heh…you know…come to think of it, watching your videos in 2014 actually got me into making RPG Maker games. Watching your vlog made me remember those days…maybe I’ll bite the bullet and make a fangame for once…

anonymous asked:

Will I get better at this I really want to get better at this. I'm sometimes too shy and awkward but I know I can give a good service. Just feeling hopeless about improving as a FSSWer. Wish there was a course I could study or something. Do I just have to live through a lot of awkward sessions and strained conversations in order to get better and feel more comfortable doing this?

The answer to that, unfortunately, is yes. There are sex worker guides out there (and like, hundreds of posts here under the advice and tips and tricks tags), some of which have good advice and others of which are completely pointless or outright scams, but, to be honest, everyone I know who’s been successful in sex work over a long period of time didn’t really do much of that kind of research. There’s probably no real substitute for just living through the awkward until it is first funny, and then boring.

One thing that I find still helps me, especially in a medium or high volume environment, is to have a couple of canned conversation components – just one or two small-talk hooks that you can fall back on when your brain does a fart, which hopefully prompt the punter to get talking and give you valuable information about himself.

@funeraryart i don’t think it’s possible to trace the origin of the i put the X in XY joke but i do know that jokes like this one exist and have existed for some time in various communities of different mental illnesses but i was talking more that they turned psychosis/psychos/psychotic into an ironic joke to put on t-shirts when it could’ve been used as a great gag within our own community to feel a little bit better and it sucks that if i DID want to wear a shirt like that that i’d look like the opposite of what i wanted to pull off b/c of that culture 

anonymous asked:

Heeeeeey~ don't wanna bother you but I felt like complaining a little (I do that a lot which is one of the reasons I lost a lot of friends recently) since I'm really sick right now. Just two days ago I was already sick, throwing up every 30 minutes or so. The day after I was good... and today I feel like crap again but I can't throw up! Which I kinda which I could do cuz I'd feel better after... so yeah. Thanks for reading.

Oh my, I’m so sorry hon! That sounds absolutely awful. Sorry I replied late, I hope you’ve at least gotten a little better. And I get the complaining thing, I literally do it all the time xD if you need to talk more, I’m always up for a chat. I wouldn’t mind you just unloading on me, promise <3

Comfort Sentence Starters

Adjust pronouns as necessary.

“It’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t need someone/something that toxic in your life.”
“Trust me, I’ve been there.”
“You can rise above this.”
“I’m here for you.”
“You deserve better.”
“I can’t stand to see you this upset.”
“Think of it this way: it could have been a lot worse.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“You can rise above this!”
“Do you need a hug? You look like you need a hug.”
“What can I do to make you feel better?”
“It’s not the end of the world, remember that.”
“You don’t need them.”
“I will always be on your side.”
“We don’t have to talk about it, but when you’re ready…I’m here.”
“Do you need to vent?”
“You did the right thing.”
“You’re so much better off without them.”
"Someone like you shouldn’t cry over someone like them.”
“Smile for me, please?”

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness


if i could cradle the capricorn heart i would say 
i know you are broken but you did not lose your volume 
in between those breaks i see lines of silver 
the light behind the cloud that follows you

i know that nobody and nowhere feels like home 
everything you have built or tried to hold 
was never enough
only dense and cold 
the validation you aspired to achieve 
when i do this i will feel better 
and i won’t feel sicker 
once i have this everything will stop
but it never does, the person inside remains 
the world changes and you never do 
or so it seems 
compared to the dreams
inherited unwillingly, survivalist mentality 
it doesn’t have to be this way, a violation 

you were born with a path, and you know it 
this is your pressure and your pain 
but follow the path seeking your own treasure
you will receive recognition from the master 


“Just do what I’m doing,” Alicia says, fighting to keep herself from laughing.

“I am!” Bob’s looking at her with eyebrows raised so high he looks like the ‘after’ photo of a botox catastrophe. “I feel like I’m doing exactly what you’re doing.”

“That can’t feel natural. Relax your face. You’re supposed to look surprised, not horrified.”

Whatever gene gives hockey players their talent must feed off their acting abilities; she’s worked with a few in her day and none of them could manage more than some stiff lines delivered with blank stares. It doesn’t seem to get better with practice, at least not in Bob’s case.

The doorbell rings and they both stand quickly, giving each other reassuring looks before making their way to the front door.

Jack stands in the doorway with Eric, and Alicia pretends not to notice their hands linked together until the timing is right.

“Maman, Papa, you know I said I wanted to introduce you to someone special?”

“Of course we remember Eric, dear,” Alicia says fondly.

“We’re dating.”

Alicia schools her expression into a practiced look of polite surprise, and pinches Bob as his cue to do the same.

“Uh, Dad? What’s wrong with your face?”

Okay so if we’re doing mirroring, and we accept that Smith is the dark!John mirror:

Smith at the beginning needs to get something off his chest, but he doesn’t feel safe doing it when it will be remembered. It’s a false confession. A true confession is when people know your truth. And by the end of the episode, Smith acknowledges that airing your “darkest secret” publicly - to have people know your truth - is better.

I like the idea of John metaphorically having told people his truth when he/they were drunk, or to his dead wife, or to his daughter who doesn’t understand English. I can’t work out yet who all the people around the board room table are, but metaphorically it feels like it could fit. Just thinking out loud.

(170101) Monsta X’s Fancafe update

“Happy New Year messages”

SHOWNU: To. Monbebe ♡
Hi, hello, annyeong (hello). One year has already passed again. It feels like we ran really hard without time to rest with Monbebes. 2016 was where I felt thankful, happy, and even if I felt a bit tired and sorry, let’s spend and eventful 2017 together as well ㅎㅎ Bye, receive a lot of New Year’s fortune ♡ - Shownu

WONHO: To. Monbebe ♥
How was it, Monbebes? Do you feel like you spent last year well? To be honest, when I think about it, I feel like there are quite a few things I could have done better? I shouldn’t have tensed up on stage. When I got things wrong on stage or if it didn’t work out how I wanted it to, I would think that I should have slept less… I should have worked more on making music instead of wasting time… When I fall into thoughts like those just once, it’s hard to escape from it. However, whenever I thought like that, it was Monbebes who pulled me out from it. When I think about it like that, I was a happy person in 2016 as well. That’s why in 2017! I will become a person who can extend their hand towards Monbebes. - From Wonho, who always thinks about Monbebes on the rooftop late at night.

MINHYUK: To. Our Monbebes ♡
Hello! This is Minhyuk. The shining new year has arisen.
I always hope that there would be more good events and happiness in this year than the previous year :)
And since we, Monsta X, plan to have more good happenings in the future, we will make it so that our Monbebes can also only have more and more good happenings in the future!!
I feel that as time passes by, it gets deeper, but I wan to feel this feeling for a longer time. Let’s ‘walk on this road~’ together.
Receive a lot of New Year’s fortune, and let’s become people that can receive love from everyone. I like you. MonX, Monbebe ♥

KIHYUN: To. Mon to the Be to the Be~~
Our Monbebes~ It’s been awhile since we met through text like this, right?!
To think that I’m really writing a post to finish up 2016, it feels quite weird and sad!! I think I spent the year of 2016 very busily! That would mean that I would’ve met Monbebes a lot, right? However, we still don’t feel like we’ve gotten out fill, so we’ll work harder and busier in order to show more and more stages and a better side of ourselves!! 2017! I ask that you take care of us in the upcoming year as well, Monbebes ♥ They say that the new year will be the Year of the Rooster, and that’s my year! That’s why I’ll put all my strength in making it the year of Monbebes and Monsta X!! I always love you, my Monbebes ♥ 2017, fighting! - Kihyun

HYUNGWON: To. Monbebe ♡
Starting from No.Mercy to now, this is the third January 2st that we are celebrating.
I feel like time goes by so quickly.
This amount of time can be seen as short and long at the same time, but I feel like it was a time for a lot of good memories.
When I think about how we’ll be able to spend this time and these moments continuously in the future with Monbebes, I feel happy.
Although there were probably many happy events, sad events, good events, and bad events during last year for everyone, it’s January 1st now, right?
Throw away all your bad memories and let’s spend 2017 together well with just the good memories and good feelings!!
I ask that you take care of us this year too, Monbebe. - Hyungwon

JOOHEON: To. Monbebe ♡
Starting from 2015, it’s already… 2017 now, Monbebe!
I thought about and wondered what I should do in order to give happiness to everyone, and thought that in 2017, we will continue to think more and work harder ♡
Monbebes, receive a lot of New Year’s fortune!
And don’t forget that we’re able to stand on stage because Monbebes exist ♡
I love you, everyone!! ♡ - From. Jooheonnie, who will give happiness to Monbebes in 2017 ♡

I.M: To. Monbebe~ ♥ 
I’m here~ Monbebe! You missed me, right? Me too ♥ No, I missed you more.
2016 has already passed like this, and the new hope-filled 2017 is greeting us.
Did the wishes you had for last year come true?
Even if they didn’t come true, let’s continue to work towards it together.
I, Monsta X, and Monbebes! will support each other together.
Also, I love you. I’m sorry that I’m always insufficient and lacking in expressing this. However, my heart is always warm~ ♥
I hope you and I both receive a lot of New Year’s luck! And we! Let’s walk forth full of strength! Let’s grow together, our Monbebes~ (Once more, I love you) - I.M

translated by monstaxtrans ϟ take out with full credit.

Steven Universe Sentence Starters

Most of these are songs, but some are quotes~

  • “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.”
  • “Love at first sight doesn’t exist, love takes time and love takes work.”
  • “All comedy is derived from fear.”
  • “Who cares how I feel? How you feel is bound to be much more interesting.”
  • “I never asked to be made!”
  • “I love cookie cat!”
  • “All I wanna be is someone who’s seen a giant woman.”
  • “Why do you have to look up to her?”
  • “I’m telling you for your own good and not because I’m-… jealous.”
  • “I can show you how to be strong in the real way.”
  • “I didn’t even get to know my Mom!”
  • “Squared pizza?! This place is evil!”
  • “I’m not like the other guys.”
  • “In this whole wide world there’s no one like you.”
  • “Could this night get any better?!”
  • “Isn’t it such a beautiful night?”
  • “Let yourself just be whoever you are.”
  • “We’re on the run.”
  • “Wish that I could see that there’s no better place than home…”
  • “I don’t care about what all the others say!”
  • “You people have too much money.”
  • “Well she’s a rip tide queen and she’s super mean.”
  • “I just showed them I don’t got the stuff.”
  • “I tried so hard to fly but I was thrown.”
  • “Have a little faith in me!”
  • “I just wanted to help…”
  • “Some… say I have no direction. That I’m a light speed distraction…”
  • “This is the final frontier.”
  • “Life in the stars is all I’ve ever known.”
  • “I know in my heart it’s been worth it all of the while.”
  • “They’re playing sword. Oh sorry, they’re playing with swords. Oh no they’re bleeding. And they’re dead. Don’t call again.”
  • “Oh! Um… I don’t exactly… eat.”
  • “Is that a weapon?”
  • “Welcome to earth.”
  • “Do you believe in destiny?”
  • “Close your eyes and leave the rest to me.”
  • “What are you doing here?”
  • “What are you doing to me?”
  • “You’re wearing that tee shirt!”
  • “What can I do for you?”
  • “What can I do that no one else can do?”
  • “You are so much fun~”
  • “I hadn’t planned on finding you… quite this entertaining~
  • “I like playing along~”
  • “I can’t believe I just got that on video!”
  • “Quit embarrassing yourself!”
  • “I’ve seen who you really are…”
  • “I ain’t gonna follow your rules.”
  • “Let’s go, just me and you.”
  • “Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.”
  • “I think you’re just mad cause you’re single~”
  • “I am made of love.”
  • “I’m stronger than you.”
  • “I won’t let you hurt my friends!”
  • “This is who I am.”
  • “I don’t want that for you…”
  • “What if somehow you get hurt?!”
  • “I have to protect you…”
  • “You’re better not knowing the trouble I’m in.”
  • “You don’t have to be a part of this; I don’t think I want you to be.”
  • “I don’t want you to worry about where I just was or what I just saw.”
  • “You don’t need this… You don’t need me.
  • “C’mon and share this jam with me!”
  • “I’d do it for you.”
  • “I’d do it for him/her.”
  • “Balance is the key.”
  • “Keep your eyes on me.”
  • “Concentrate! Don’t you want him/her to live?!”
  • “Just try and think about the life you’ll have… together after the war!”
  • “When you live for someone you’re prepared to die.”
  • “Maybe you’re better off with him/her…”
  • “I think he’s/she’s better for you.”
  • “I guess I got carried away…”
  • “Is there something I can do to make it up to you?”
  • “I see a tower built out of my mistakes and it all comes crashing down…”
  • “I don’t wanna do this!”
  • “I can’t help it if I make a scene~”
  • “I’ve got a pair of eyes that they’re getting lost in~”
  • “Everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you! So many I can’t even name them, can you blame me? I’m too famous~”
  • “Haven’t you noticed I’m a star?”
  • “What do I do with all this money, when all I want is you?”
  • “How do I spend all this money? I’d rather just spend time with you.”
  • “Let’s go to _____!!! And let’s bring _____!!!!”
  • “100 bucks? Gee thanks!”
  • “Dance with me!”
  • “NO!!!”
  • “After all those years I never thought I’d lose…”
  • “It’s over, isn’t it?”
  • “You won and he/she chose you…”
  • “Now they’re gone…”
  • “Who am I now in this world without him/her?!”
  • “What does it matter?! It’s already done!”
  • “Why don’t you talk to each other?”
  • “I know you’re trying to avoid it, but I don’t know why.”
  • “You might not believe it, but you’ve got a lot in common. You really do.”
  • “You both love me and I love both of you.”
  • “If I were you, I’d hate me too.”
  • “I don’t hate you…”
  • “I now you both need it, someone who knows what you’re going through.”
  • “_____ don’t cost nothing.”
  • “Don’t tell me, sing me!”
  • “Look at everything you do. Look at everything you are. It’s incredible, as incredible as you.”
  • “It’s a full time job admiring all the ways that you’re inspiring.”
  • “I think I need a little change.”
  • “I always did believe that love is all you need to be a happy man/woman.”
  • “Here comes a thought.”
  • “If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love.”
  • “I’d like to learn how to love like you.”
  • “I always thought I might be bad now I’m sure that it’s true; Cause I think you’re so good, but I’m nothing like you.”
  • “Look at you go! I just adore you! I wish that I knew what makes you think I’m so special…”

Note: hi sweetie! i’m sorry this took a while! i hope you like it! i’m sorry it’s long. i love all feedback! feel free to leave a comment! ♥ .c

Request: Hiii :) I really enjoy your writing and I just wanted to ask if you could do a Bucky imagine where he doesn’t notice her and treats her badly, despite the fact that she does so much for him and he takes her for granted and he only realizes how much he needs her when she gets terribly hurt. Thank you so much 💖

Originally posted by buckybass

It all started when the super soldier moved into the tower. You couldn’t help but want to get to know him better, though you’ve heard a lot from people in the city streets and the News. But you knew he was more than a Hydra experiment, a brainwashed man who had no choice in the matter, he needed help and you wanted to make his life all the more better.

You were always extremely nice and it took a lot for someone to bring your spirits down, you wanted to help everyone be happy and be okay. Though you knew people needed time and space, they would always come to you for a shoulder to cry on.

Which is why you ended up being there for Bucky; you knew he needed that. You always welcomed him in the mornings with breakfast and a small note containing an uplifting quote. He wouldn’t say anything, he would just give you a tight lipped smile and shut his door in your face. You would shrug it off and tell yourself he wasn’t a morning person.

You were in the kitchen, bright and early, getting Bucky’s breakfast ready. It was nearing 8am and he usually gets up at this time, so you were hoping to get everything done on time. You decided to go with bacon, eggs, grits, and toast. You heard footsteps approaching as you were flipping over the fried eggs, having finished with the grits and bacon already.

You turned with a smile to see Steve and Sam groggily walking in, their pajamas wrinkled and their hair all crazy. “You still make Barnes breakfast?” Sam asked through a rather long yawn. You giggled and nodded. “Yeah, of course!” You said with a chipper attitude. Steve shoved his muscular body onto a stool at the kitchen island, resting his head on his hand.

You turned back to the food and finally got everything ready on a plate and a tray. “Y/N, you’ve done this for like 5 months.” Steve commented as you started to write down an uplifting quote. You shrugged and set the corner of the note under his cup of black coffee. “So?” You asked with a small smile. Steve sighed and shook his head.

Without another word, you slipped off your apron and headed to the elevator, humming as you made your way to Bucky’s room. You walked down the hallway and suddenly Bucky’s door opened, his body leaning against the door frame. You smiled and wiggled your finger at Bucky as he met your eyes. “Hey, Bucky! How’d you sleep?” You asked, walking over to him.

Bucky looked at the tray and nodded. “Fine. This all?” Bucky asked, pointing at the tray. It was a good bit of food you thought. “Oh, did-did you need more?” You asked, your eyebrows raised. Bucky’s eyes lingered on your face before he took the tray from you. “No, this is fine. See ya!” Bucky said before walking back into his room, leaving his door slightly cracked.

You bit your lip as you tapped your fingers against your thighs, slightly peeking into his room. He sat down at his desk and picked up the note you left. “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. Ernest Hemingway.” Bucky mumbled. You smiled but it slightly faltered as you watched him scoff and crumble the note, throwing it away.

You sighed and walked away with a shrug, leaving Bucky to enjoy his meal.

You were in the laundry room now, having picked up Bucky’s basket of clean clothes. You picked up on doing his laundry after helping him clean up after a mission. He didn’t seem to mind, so you continued doing it. You tossed his clothes in the basket so you could fold them in his room.

With a smile, you skipped out of the room and bumped into the man himself. “Oof!” You huffed, stumbling back, thankfully having a good grip on the basket. Bucky caught your arm before you could fall and you giggled. “Sorry! I didn’t see you coming.” You said, a light blush dusting your cheeks. Bucky cleared his throat and looked down at the basket. “It’s all good. These done?” Bucky asked with a dull tone.

You nodded energetically. “Yep! I can fold them if you want.” You offered with a smile. Bucky shook his head. “I got it this time.” Bucky said as he took the basket from your hands. He turned and left, stalking off down the hallway. You watched after him, seeing his tense back muscles. Following after him, you rounded the corner just fast enough to run into the elevator.

Bucky moved a little away from you as if to give you more space. You smiled up at him. “I couldn’t help but notice you look a little tense.” You said softly, stepping towards Bucky. He looked down at you with furrowed eyebrows. “And?” He snapped, taking you aback. “Oh, um, well, I was just going to offer a back massage.” You said a little softer now.

And that’s how you ended up sitting butt on butt on top of Bucky, your hands digging into his back muscles. Groan after groan fell from his lips and you smiled. “Feeling better?” You asked, circling your thumbs into a tight knot just below his shoulder blade. Bucky made a grunting noise in response.

You continued for a few more minutes and rubbed in some soothing essential oils into his skin before climbing off of him. He sat up and stretched. “That was amazing, wow.” Bucky said, a small smile spreading on his lips. You capped your oils and smiled. “I’ll see you around.” Bucky said as he slipped his shirt back on.

You watched him leave his bedroom and you stood there awkwardly. Bucky never thanked you for things like this and it was starting to get to you. You do this to make him feel better and it clearly does that for him, but he never shows gratitude. Bucky just leaves and comes back for this special treatment.

A sigh fell from your lips and small hint of sadness started to hit you. You shook it off with a smile and left Bucky’s room to do some other things on your to-do list.

A few days had passed and you still do the same things for Bucky. You recently started to comfort him during the night when he has nightmares. It was hard to see him writhing around, screaming at the top of his lungs, begging for his life. You couldn’t help but…help him.

You rushed into Bucky’s room and saw his large body squirming around, broken screams and strangled cries coming from his mouth. It broke your heart to see him like this. You knelt on his bed and rested your hand on his shoulder. His skin was burning and sweaty as he thrashed around. “Bucky, it’s okay. Please, wake up!” You said softly, brushing his hair off of his sticky forehead.

It took a little coaxing but he shot up, almost knocking his head against yours. Bucky breathed heavily, his eyes searching for the danger he thought he was in. After seeing he was safe, he looked at you. Before you could ask if he was alright, he pulled you into his body. “Shh, you’re okay.” You whispered as he cried into your shoulder.

Bucky held onto you and you rubbed his head, your arms wrapped around him. “I promise you’re safe, Bucky.” You whispered soothingly. He hesitantly nodded and sighed into you. His arms held you closer as he continued to calm down. “That’s it.” You softly praised Bucky, his hands releasing their tight hold on your shirt.

You held him close and whispered soothing things in his ear, gently stroking his hair. Bucky clung to you, his breathing coming to a smooth rhythm. “Please, stay.” You barely heard Bucky mumble, his face nuzzled into your chest. “I will.” You whispered back, holding him tightly as you both fell asleep.

Bucky woke up with you draped across his chest, your breathing steady and soft, the little air coming from your nose tickling his skin. His heart fluttered as he stared at your face, peacefulness resting on your features. Bucky reached his hand to your face, outlining the curve of your jaw. The twitch of your lips made him feel something he’s never felt before. And boy did it scare him.

Bucky suddenly pulled out of your hold and stood out of his bed quickly, startling you out of your sleep. You groaned and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, sitting up in Bucky’s bed. “Bucky?” You asked, yawning into your hand. “Get out.” Bucky rasped, slipping on a clean shirt. His previous shirt was discarded on his floor from his body sweating him out.

You looked at him, concern all over your face. “What?” You questioned, moving his blankets off of you. Bucky was breathing heavily and he turned to you. “Why do you help me? Why do you do things for me?” Bucky asked, raking his hand through his hair. You smiled a little. “I just want you to-” “-to be happy? To get better?” Bucky finished your sentence. He scoffed and shook his head.

You stood to your feet and walked over to Bucky slowly. You reached out to hold his arm but he jerked it away, his eyes looking into yours. “Y/N, stop! Just go! I don’t need you!” Bucky yelled at your face, causing you to flinch. The wave of sadness hit you again, twice as much this time. You frowned and retracted your outreached hand, your fingers trembling.

Bucky turned his back to you and you backed away from him, leaving his room. What was wrong with him? What did you do? You thought helping him and showing kindness towards him would get him to open up to you. You didn’t know it was making things worse. He never thanked you for anything and you let it go, excusing his ungratefulness as just having a wall built up.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and went your room, locking yourself in there to get ready for the day. You sat on your balcony a little while later and looked out at the cloudy sky. The city below was busy as ever and you usually felt happy watching the people far below, but now, you didn’t feel it.

Your lip quivered the longer you thought about this morning. You just wanted to help him and make him look forward to something nice in the mornings and during the day. The quotes were to help him realize he’s not as weak and broken as he thinks.

A knock at your door pulled you from your thoughts and you sighed, waking into your bedroom. You opened your door and saw Steve standing there in his suit. “Hey-wait, what’s wrong?” Steve asked quickly, seeing your watery eyes. You’ve never cried in front of the team, and you never did at all, really. It took a lot for you to get like this and Bucky did it so easily.

Steve stuck his shield to his back and held your shoulders. “Y/N, talk to me.” Steve pleaded, his blue eyes searching yours. You took a deep breath and swallowed thickly. “Bucky, he-he just got angry this morning. I-I heard him having a nightmare last night so I did what I do best and helped him. He shot out of bed and yelled for me to get out.” You explained, holding in the sob  that wanted to desperately escape.

You sniffled and Steve bent to give you a tight hug. “You’ve done so much for him, Y/N. He still needs time.“ Steve said quietly. You nodded, your arms around his neck. “He’s never shown any gratitude. I figured he just needed that shell to break.” You said, your voice shaking. Steve sighed and pulled away from you. “I’ll talk to him.” Steve said as his frown deepened.

You shook your head quickly, “No, don’t worry about it.” You sniffled again. “Is there a mission?” You asked as your eyes fell to his suit again. Steve slapped his hand against his forehead. “Shoot! Yeah, I need you for guard duty. Nat is coming along to gather information.” Steve explained as you listened closely.

After suiting up and pushing your thoughts about Bucky aside, you walked out of your room and gathered around the team in the common room.

“This should be really easy, you know what to do.” Tony said, speaking to Steve. The others wished you good luck, all except Bucky. He was off to the side, arms crossed and brows creased. He looked troubled, almost like he wanted to say something. You glanced over at him and his eyes met yours, only to flicker away.

You sighed and Nat walked over to you, linking her arm with yours. “Steve told me what happened. I need you to focus, okay?” Nat whispered, her eyes soft. You nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat. “I know.” You said softly.

Steve finished talking with Tony and you all set out on the mission. It took about 4 hours to get there and you had to walk down a wooded trail to get to the base. You were crouched down with Steve and Nat, guns aimed with silencers. “Ready.” Steve said, cocking his gun. You all had to take out the guards out front, so you readied your gun and aimed for any guard you laid eyes on.

You took them down in record time and slowly made your way to the base. Steve kicked in the door and you shot down a guard inside, watching his body instantly fall to the ground. “Okay, Nat you know what to do. I’m right beside you.“ Steve said, leaving you outside to keep watch.

You looked around, keeping your eyes focused and your gun ready. You could hear Steve and Natasha fighting throughout the base in your comm, grunts and hits coming from them. Still looking around the area, you noticed a small movement in the woods in front of you. Your heart jumped in your chest as you slowly held your gun up, scanning the area.

Steve grunted into your comm and you heard Nat yelling curse words. “Y/N! We need you in here!” Steve yelled, his shielding ricocheting off a wall, hitting a guard. Before you replied, you quickly scanned the area once more, hoping it was just an animal you saw rustling in the woods. “I’m coming.” You responded, retreating backwards and turning into the building.

As you walked down the hallways that was covered with dead bodies, you listened for your teammates. “Where are you guys?” You asked, stopping as you approached another hallway. “Take the stairs,we’re on the second floor,” Steve grunted loudly, “There’s a lot more guards than we thought!” Steve called out, gunshots ringing through your comm.

You quickly ran to the door that held the staircase behind it and made your way up, hoping you got there in time. You could hear Steve and Natasha yelling, their weapons going off. “Guys, I’m almost there!” You yelled, keeping a tight grip on your gun. You finally reached the top of the stairs and rounded to the second floor.

You immediately started shooting at any enemy you laid your eyes on. Steve was going to hand to hand with a guard, his shield stuck in the concrete wall. You quickly glanced at Natasha after shooting two more guards down. She used her signature move on one guard and round house kicked another, knocking them both out cold.

A guard to your left aimed his gun at you and you were able to shoot him first, the bullet piercing through his chest. “Nice!” Steve yelled, a smile on his face. He twisted the guards neck and sighed out, pulling his shield from the wall. Natasha finished off the guards around her and you looked around, seeing all of the lifeless bodies.

You wiped your brow and took a deep breath. “Okay, now that that’s over, there should be a vault in the room.” Natasha said, her boots clicking as she walked towards the door, moving around the bodies. 

Steve didn’t lie when he said there were a lot more than they thought. Nat kicked open the door, holding her gun up. “All clear.” She said into her comm. Steve joined her in the room, helping her open the safe.

Putting your gun in your holster, you crossed your arms, waiting for Steve and Nat to finish. A deep chuckle came from behind you, making your heart jump. You whipped around just in time to feel a bullet pierce through your abdomen. You gasped, looking down at the blood starting to pour out of you. “Y/N!” You heard Steve and Nat yell, Steve taking the guard down.

You fell to your knees and the two rushed over to you, Steve grasping hold of your body before you fell onto the floor. “Shit!” Nat yelled, holstering her gun. 

You were breathing heavily, though every breath you took made your body ache and the pain worsen. “St-Steve.” You winced, squeezing your eyes shut. Applying pressure to your wound, Steve rushed you out of the room.

Steve was yelling at Nat to call Bruce, to tell him you need him as soon as you land. “Y/N, you have to stay awake!” Steve yelled, shaking you lightly enough to make your eyes peel open. You felt Nat’s hand putting more pressure on your wound and looked down, your bodysuit a dark color from the blood. The pain was unbearable, the last thing you heard was Nat and Steve calling your name.

The jet landed and Steve carried you out, meeting Bruce on the roof with a gurney. “She-Bruce, please.” Steve sobbed as he looked down at your pale face. You looked lifeless, just like the enemies you had taken out. “I’ll take care of her.” Bruce assured Steve, quickly rolling your body away.

Nat took a deep breath as they walked into the elevator after Bruce had wheeled you inside and took it down to the medic room. “She can’t die.” Steve’s body shook with another sob and Nat looked up at him, her own eyes threatening to spill with tears. “She won’t. Not Y/N.” Nat whispered, scared her voice would break her tough facade.

The two walked into the common room and met with the others. “Hey! You’re back!” Sam cheered but stopped when he looked at Steve and Nat’s faces. “What happened?” Tony asked, taking his glasses off. “Who’s blood is that?” Clint asked, causing Steve and Nat to look at your blood on their hands. Wanda stepped forward. “Where’s Y/N?” She asked nervously. Bucky entered the room and noticed how quiet it was. “What, did someone die or something?” He asked jokingly.

Bucky looked at Steve, his smile dropping. Bucky took in everyone’s scared expressions. He looked around for you, but he knew something was wrong when he didn’t see your bright and beautiful smile greeting him like you always did. 

“Wait, where’s Y/N?” Bucky asked, feeling his heart starting to beat fast. Steve shook his head and tried to speak, but nothing came out. Steve looked at his bloody hands again and his lip trembled. Bucky gasped, his eyes falling to Steve’s hands. “No. She’s-Steve, don’t do that to me.” Bucky said, shaking his head, his knees feeling weak.

Nat walked over to Bucky and looked at him sadly. “Bucky, she got shot. Bruce is taking care of her now.” Nat explained as best she could, her voice shaking. Bucky noticed the blood on her hands too as tears filled his eyes. “If this is-is some sort of sick joke.“ Bucky choked out, a lump forming in his throat.

Steve sniffled and shook his head. “Buck, it’s not.” Steve said, looking at Bucky as flashbacks played throughout his mind. “Stop! She can’t-FUCK!” Bucky yelled in the all too quiet room. Bucky rushed out, walking straight towards the elevator. All he could think about was you, the whole time you were gone, Bucky thought of how badly he had treated you.

He knew he took you for granted, he didn’t realize how much you did for him until you left his room after he made you leave. He never knew how much you actually meant to him. Bucky wanted to apologize and tell you how he felt when he woke up next to you and he hoped it wouldn’t be too late.

The elevator stopped and Bucky ran out, his feet carrying him down the hallway. He could hear a heart monitor going off and he ran up to the large window, seeing Bruce stitching you up. There was blood all over his gloves and a bit around your stitches. Bloody tissues filled the small trashcan beside Bruce’s feet and it made Bucky’s heart clench.

Your body was pale and it scared Bucky. It scared him because he realized he did need you. You tried so hard to make Bucky feel something, feel happy, feel better, feel…loved. Bucky’s tears fell, his chest rising up and down heavily and fast as he watched Bruce finish up.

Bucky knew you’d be okay now, but he just couldn’t help but feel like the biggest piece of crap because of how he made you feel before you left. He realized his mistake and he desperately wanted to make it better.

Bruce turned to see Bucky looking through the glass window and waved him to come inside. Bucky took a deep breath after wiping his tears away. He took slow steps, afraid his presence alone would cause more damage. Bruce watched closely as Bucky walked toward your body. His eyes took in your current state and he felt even more guilty.

Bruce was writing down information on his clipboard and he sighed softly. “She should be awake soon. The medicine I gave her wears off in just enough time.” Bruce told Bucky, watching him grasp your hand gently. Bucky nodded slowly, his eyes on your closed ones. He reached up to your face, his finger caressing along your jawline like he did this morning.

Deciding to give you two a bit of privacy, Bruce quietly exited the room and left to notify the others on how you’re doing. Bucky took a shaky breath before speaking. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Bucky whispered, his eyes filling with tears again. “I was so horrible to you.” He choked out.

He saw your eyelids flutter before slowly starting to open. His heart skipped in his chest and he rubbed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “That’s it, Doll. Come back to me, please.” Bucky whispered. You squinted your eyes a tad at the bright lights and Bucky moved closer, blocking it for you.

You groaned and tried to sit up, not aware of the stitches in your abdomen. Bucky held you down gently. “Y/N, don’t move.” He spoke softly. You relaxed again and licked your dry lips. You sighed and looked up at Bucky. “Why are you here?” You asked rather coldly, not meaning to, though you didn’t apologize. 

Bucky sighed and frowned at your sourness towards him. He was used to you being sweet, but he reckoned he ruined that for good. “I know you might hate me now, but I realized something after, you know..” Bucky trailed off, staring down at you. Your heart sank as you took in his watery and puffy eyes. He had been crying and it was probably because of you.

You watched Bucky’s lip tremble and you reached your hand up to hold his that was still resting on your cheek. “I’m sorry I never appreciated you.” Bucky said, his words holding more than he led on. You knew what he meant and you nodded gently. “I’m sorry if I was too much. I won’t do it anymore.” You whispered, letting your hand fall from Bucky’s.

Bucky nodded gently. “I don’t mind if you don’t want to do things for me anymore. But I do want you to keep trying with me. Y/N, I-I need you.” Bucky said, a sob wracking through his body. Your eyes lifted to Bucky’s and you furrowed your eyebrows. “You what?” You asked, not believing what Bucky just said.

Your heart started racing as Bucky bent down, slowly leaning in to press his lips to yours. You gasped before kissing him back, your hand reaching up to rest on the back of his head. Your heart monitor started beeping faster and Bucky pulled away, a smile on his face. “I said I need you. I was wrong before, so so wrong.” Bucky whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.

A smile formed on your lips in return and you giggled. “I’ll always be here, Bucky.” You said, your hand resting on his cheek. Bucky sniffled and kissed your forehead. “I want to take care of you until you get better.” Bucky said, raising up so he could look at your bandage. You gently sighed and frowned. “But I-” Bucky shushed you. “Y/N, you’ve done so much for me.” Bucky said, holding onto your hand.

You nodded and smiled at Bucky, your happiness fluttering back into your chest.


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It took three tries for neil to find his voice. “You never said anything.”

“Why should I have?” Andrew lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Nothing will come of it.”

“Nothing,” Neil echoed.

“I am self-destructive, not stupid,” Andrew said. “I know better.”

There was nothing Neil could say except, “Okay,” but he didn’t sound okay and he didn’t feel okay. What was Neil supposed to do with a truth like this?


Happy Birthday Coraline! 

I can’t believe the movie is 8 years old already,it feels like yesterday when I saw it for the first time in theater. So for this special movie I made this piece, I wish I could have spend more time on it to make it better but I’m pretty happy with what I was able to do in such a short time.

But anyway, happy B-Day Coraline! 

BTS Reaction to: Their GF Having Pierced Nipples

svt reaction; here

Jin: “oh my gosh” he gulps, as your bra falls to the floor and the moonlight glints off your nipple piercings

Originally posted by jinful

Suga: those kind of things don’t matter to him, since genius min yoongi knows that his tongue technology will make you scream, regardless of what kind of body piercings you have or don’t have

Originally posted by minsecretsoul

J-Hope: during a heated makeout session, that was about to become your first time together, his hands trailed up your shirt before he pulls away abruptly; “wait, what? what did I just touch - do you have robot nipples?”

Originally posted by spearjimint

Rap Monster: “that is so hot,” he groans, “you know, if the healing process is hurting you, I could always kiss them better?”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Jimin: “why didn’t you tell me about this before? have you any other secret surprises I need to know about?”

Originally posted by ounew

V: “aaah so cute, look at them!” feels like it’s just one more thing that makes you unique, so he can’t help but be fascinated by them. “do they increase your pleasure?” he wonders, growing serious to focus on more important things ;)

Originally posted by jeonthegreat

Jungkook: the morning after your first time together, you shyly ask how he felt about your nipple piercings and he’s like “wait, nipple piercings?” The poor boy had been so in awe of boobs that he hadn’t noticed much else

*gif of his reaction when you took your shirt off*

Originally posted by sugasmagnificentlegs


[FANCAM] | 161030 - I.M’s Counseling Clinic (Busan fansign)

Fan: Hello, I am someone who just went to Japan for work. I always wanted a boyfriend but I’m not good at aegyo so I haven’t gotten myself one. Please teach me Changkyun’s way of aegyo that can attract the opposite sex!

I.M: I’m… actually bad at aegyo, no no no, hey guys, listen to me. I can do aegyo but it’s just… I feel like I’m talking to a class (laughs). Like what a maknae should do, I’m not actually a person that has a lot of aegyo. Can’t you see? Aegyo skills, romance… want to have a date… but to me, if you do aegyo the first time we meet, I’d get a shock so… isn’t it better to just find someone who you could properly date without doing aegyo? That’s how I feel. Pass!

Keep reading

In Defense of the Coffee Shop AU, U.S. Election Edition

It occurs to me that we need our fiction, more than ever, to be what we think the world could be. We need aspirational fiction. What I feel like I need to do is give people a glimpse of a world that is better. Like, it doesn’t have to be like this. It can be better. And I’m not saying that there is no room for gritty realism, by all means, tell me exactly how awful it’s going to get, make me comprehend it. But what good does that do me if I feel despair and no hope and see no alternative? 

There needs to be an alternative. There needs to be a belief that the world can be better than what we’ve been given. If the only thing I can lift up to myself as a signpost of that hope is a piece of fiction, then that piece of fiction is important. It means that I can imagine something better, and if I can imagine something better, then I can try to help us get there

I am resisting the pull of my over-active imagination to write me only the dark scenario. I find myself in the wrong AU. I need to write me a better one. I want to try to write all of us a better one. And it is no mockery to think that that can start with a fluffy piece of fiction. Story-telling is how we change the world. A weird one just got told to us, the most elaborate piece of fiction I’ve ever seen, a fiction that won a presidency. We need to tell the counter-story. 

Write aspirational fiction. Write the world you want to see. It is actually important.