-I discovered that while I had signed on to pick up a shift that was listed as softlines, I was, in fact, assigned to the fitting room, an area entirely beyond my understanding. Thankfully, the years of theater training that I have amassed have come in handy. I was able to flawless assume the guise of one who knew precisely what they were doing.
-A woman softly shouted, “Don’t you almost kill my baby!” These words themselves were not my main cause for concern, but her nonchalant tone of someone repeating an oft-used line.
-I happened upon a six-sided die, featuring depictions of a satchel, a chalice, a cactus, a sunrise, a character of indeterminate origin, and a large monkey. It is not an item we sell nor was anyone in the store looking for such a relic. I can only assume that those who used this die have completed their occult ritual and decided that they had no further use for it.
-While sorting through returned clothing, a pair of pants was found with incriminating brown stains and an even more incriminating stench. The largest stain was located in the seat of the pants, but this was not the only one. There was a faint trail leading down the left leg, culminating in a large splotch at the cuff, suggesting that whatever had been laid at the start of the path was kicked along downwards in an attempt to get rid of the evidence. While I can only imagine the circumstances this person was facing, I am more interested in why they thought this was the appropriate time to return them.
-A young girl told her unlistening mother that she likes to put Tic Tacs in her butt. I feel that her mother should have cared much more about this than she did.