i feel like a woman now

it’s so crazy that i’m a woman now like i still totally feel like a girl like a kid you know but i look like a woman now… like i walk around and my body is all grown up wtf

hey do u know what i fuckin hate. liberal bullshit that tries to talk about Womens Empowerment but still upholds insidious beauty standards loool

anonymous asked:

Ive been struggling for months now with whether I'm a bisexual woman as I always believed, a lesbian, a bisexual trans man, or a straight trans man. I found out recently I have a condition that releases too much testosterone in my body so I'm tabling my gender for a few months until I feel like my medication has my hormones as under control as they could be. My gender confusion is still here but now I know it's a common symptom of my condition. May I follow?

yeah questioning ppl are allowed to follow

-mod p

1. Last year the doctor told me that this kind of sadness is inherited. That they have discovered that sometimes it skips a generation. That the darkness inside me did not grow from nowhere it came from somewhere. I thought to myself, that there is a reason why I have always thought my heart was an attic where I hid pieces of myself. Pieces no one ever wanted.

2. The first boy I ever chose to show this sadness to decided to take it from my attic heart and planted it inside my soul instead. It was easy for him. My soul was a garden I showed him too soon. And he decided that meant he was allowed to take anything he wanted to.

3. Every man who has dared to love me since, has stared at this dark ivy covered soul like it is a haunted house, and I have never tried to explain the thing I have always known. Because men do not have to learn how to open their own selves and lock themselves up again. They are taught to be themselves and the world will accept them better that way. We are taught to break our bodies to be loved. We are taught to confuse sex and love.

4. I knew a girl whose father left her and she took all of her love for him and ate it to comfort herself. People joked how she lived in the kitchen. No one saw her tears when she ate.

5. A friend once told me that she locked herself inside the closet when her parents fought because her father beat her mother and she wished herself into the wood, just so she knew what it was like to be an inanimate object that couldn’t hear or feel anything.

6. My mother told me, that it is the way of the world for girls to grow into women by locking secrets inside themselves. Till now I still imagine every woman I have ever met as a big beautiful house. Full of secret rooms, hiding places, once filled with innocent laughter and joy. Now slightly sad and forgotten because of all those lost places inside them full of secrets.

—  Nikita Gill, The House Inside Her
a review of rainbow now that all my thoughts are together
  • bastards: great opening song. a++ gravelly/sorta raw vocals. i feel like this is gonna be an especially good anthem for high schoolers tbh like it's just such a nice "it's gonna be alright" message.
  • let 'em talk: 2010 kesha meets 2017 kesha. play this at the club tbh. but like....a classy club, u feel me?
  • woman: i'm a boy and this makes me wanna scream that i'm a motherfucking woman out the car window at random passerby
  • hymn: if kesha wants to start a church where they play this song i will be at every goddamn sunday mass.
  • praying: what can i say about this that hasn't already been said? i am just sO PROUD OF KESHA ROSE SEBERT
  • learn to let go: this is the ultimate upbeat anthem of recovery. the kind of thing that you dance to in your bedroom to feel better on a shitty day.
  • finding you: um???? did someone say 'sequel to past lives'??? this is just so cute y'all put it on your mixtapes and all that gay shit.
  • rainbow: no wonder this is the mf title track. the way her voice is so genuine and kind of shaky and powerful all at once. the piano. the way it swells and grows stronger just like she's gotten stronger. this is where i died the first time tbh
  • hunt you down: the "boy i'll murder you if you piss me off" anthem all the lady country singers wish they wrote
  • boogie feet: once again, a throwback to old kesha. eagles of death metal are the reason we put eagles on the list of protected animals obvi
  • boots: soundtrack for the female james bond movie we all know we want
  • old flames: DO I NEED TO SAY ANYTHING BESIDES DOLLY PARTON
  • godzilla: this shit is the cutest thing i've ever fuckin heard what the goddamn fuck
  • spaceship: i could fall asleep to her voice in this song but in the best way. what a nice, soft way to end an album. a++. 10/10

I’m late but I’m watching don’t hurt yourself rn like wow now we know why Beyonce went out here & tapped one of the most iconic rock musicians to help her cuss her man out. I remember one of my relatives saying that Jack White was singing on Don’t Hurt Yourself like Bey was his sister and he was letting her trifling man know what it was.

I don’t even know how to feel about the whole thing b/c I’m not a proponent of a woman staying w/ a partner that cheats ever. I always figured that Solange was throwing hands b/c Jay cheated & I guess it should have been clear that he had to have been really grimey to her sister to elicit that kind of reaction.

I weirdly expected more from Jay Z even though I sort of always knew he didn’t deserve Beyonce b/c so many men are with women they don’t deserve and treat poorly.

I adored the push party photos and look forward to seeing the new babies pics. I’m not saying I want her home to be broken up but I would not have been mad if Beyonce had left him and went and found a fine young billionaire to have wild thoughts with in pools, okay?

The past 2 weeks have shown me that too many Black men think that making Black women suffer for their lackluster, thin love is a good thing. I think the albums the carters have made r really important & I think they open up vital convos about black love and romance they need to be had.

These albums push the importance of accountability, introspection, living an examined life. I’m hoping it will push Black men to think about how they harm Black women and black LGBT folk who are the only ppl who have their backs in this harsh, racist society. That it will push them to deal with their shit individually & collectively and stop projecting it onto us (i.e. Kodak Black who, as others have noted, hates himself & his Blackness). It’s hella distressing to realize that Black women will walk through fire to help Black men but that so many Black men like to insult and mock us for not meeting their colorist and racist beauty standards.

In an interview Molly Crabapple said smthing like men have gotten women to buy into this idea that our beauty is the most valuable thing about us and that the more beautiful we are, the better they’ll treat us. And we can see that this isn’t true, we can be the most beautiful woman in the world and they will still act a fool.

Jay had the girl everyone wanted and yet he was still running in these streets. Clearly he, and not his wife, was deficient. It shows me that a man’s character is important. If he has no character it doesn’t matter what a woman does he will still mistreat her.

Anyway 4:44 is good, I hope Yonce’s happy with her choice and as always I wonder what it looks like for Black women to have a love that edifies and liberates and that does not demand suffering to keep it.

OK so since @tom-hiddleston-god-of-mischief and other people showed interest, I bumped up my schedule and so…

Here is my ‘Craig is totally gay and was in love with the MC in college’ post!

So, first off- this is Craig Cahn and the thing that made me first think that he was gay instead of bi. (And fyi I am a Bi myself, so this is more headcanoning and exploring character and not trying to stomp on other headcanons, jsyk.)

Yeah the very first time we met. But look- divorces do happen, and do happen in a chill manner. But… let us note a couple things. One, the divorce literally only happened ‘last year’. Which could mean anywhere from (assuming this is the spring due to college letters and school timetables) 12+ to only 3-ish months ago depending on what counts as ‘last year’.

You only get a SECOND of him being uncomfortable while breaking the news before he is on even ground and is like ‘yeah it’s old news and everything is in perfect order now’. AND THE DIVORCE HAPPENED EITHER WHILE SMASHLEY WAS PREGNANT OR JUST HAD RIVER. Now, this could be a him lying, except… it’s never really brought up again as a thing? Like, we deal with Mat’s feelings for his dead wife, Joseph’s failing marriage, and etc but despite how recent it was we are lead to believe their divorce was perfectly amicable despite the timing.  (Now placing a cut here because this gets long and has more pics.)

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Ai Yazawa End-of-Book Notes 1-21

So at the end of every volume of NANA, Ai Yazawa has a brief paragraph about the manga or just some introspection about her life. They give great insight into the series and I think only a few are found on the scans of NANA online, so I thought I’d share them all!

Volume 1

The creator, Ai Yazawa, told us, “I created this story so that it could be enjoyed as a stand-alone and, at the same time, have a complete ending that could be connected to an ongoing series.  I hope you’ll look forward to the future of the two Nanas!”

Volume 2

A note from Ai Yazawa: “I had thought that if the two Nanas met each other, they would probably be constantly fighting, but they seem oddly friendly.  What’s up with that?!  It’s one of me (not so) seven wonders (ha-ha).”

Volume 3

Since childhood, the artists I’ve looked up to haven’t been writers and illustrators, but mostly musicians.  Music provides me the most emotional effect and excitement.  If there was no music, I don’t think my creative juices would boil.  Music is that important to my life.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 4

I realized one day that there are hit songs with the same names as the main female characters, NANA, JUNKO, and SACHIKO (the kanji for JUNKO is different, though).  It’s not that big a deal, but I sometimes just hum the melodies longingly.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 5

In the initial drafts, Nana’s band was a rockabilly band like the Stray Cats.  But due to various circumstances, I didn’t keep it that way.  But if they were rockabilly, Ren, Nobu and Shin would have had pompadours.  And Yasu too?

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 6

When I was a child, I used to take piano lessons.  Even after I stopped taking lessons, I bought sheet music I liked and continued playing.  I’ve had my hands full for several years now, but one of these days I’d like to learn how to play jazz piano, which I’ve wanted to do for years now.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 7

I had an opportunity to interview a group of professional musicians.  I showered them with questions, but they answered willingly, and it was very helpful.  I was having problems balancing the fictional world of manga-like simplicity and gorgeousness with a sense of reality.  But I realized again that what’s important is the humanity of the characters.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 8

When I was in high school, there was a cool girl in my class who was a lone wolf.  I was really into a foreign New Romantic-type band then, and when she asked me one day, “Do you want to go to their concert together?” I was overwhelmed.  My heart fluttered more than when I was with my boyfriend (☺).  Have you had a Hachiko experience like that?  - Ai Yazawa

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Wonder Woman was the superhero movie we all deserved. There will never be a moment more iconic than Diana Prince rising from the trenches and storming No Mans Land like the motherfucking queen she is.

Originally posted by cohvenant

GoT S07E05 Thoughts

Fuck me. 

This might have been my least favourite episode to date and we had Gendry!!! Okay, in all fairness, it wasn’t a bad episode. There was just one particular conflict that I am not looking forward to seeing continue. 

And no, it’s not Jon3rys. I couldn’t give two shits about that right now. 

But let’s begin, shall we? 

For anyone who still believes Dany to be a good person, I honestly suggest going to an optometrist or retaking high school English because how much more obvious can this show get? I didn’t get to write down her full speech, but following this:

“I’m not here to murder…”

With this: 

“Bend the knee and join me or refuse and die”

You’re kind of a hypocrite and a really obvious one at that. War is horrible, I get it, and good people do atrocious things in war, but that’s why we, as modern somewhat enlightened (although questionable) human beings, have war trials. People may die in war, as that is inevitable, but there are certain acts that no decent human should perform even in the midst of war. 

I know I’m quoting Wikipedia here, but whatever: 

Examples of war crimes include intentionally killing civilians or prisoners, torture, destroying civilian property, taking hostages, perfidy, rape, using child soldiers, pillaging, declaring that no quarter will be given, and serious violations of the principles of distinction and proportionality, such as strategic bombing of civilian populations.

Do you think a man as concerned with portraying war as a clusterfuck of morally grey characters would place an entitled figure with weapons of mass destruction which she uses indiscriminately, who commits war crimes, as the main protagonist? Do you think that is a good conclusion? And this is simply going by this episode and not the mess Dany made in previous seasons. 

She had Randyll and Dickon Tarly as her prisoners. There was no need to execute them, or at least no need to execute both of them. If she wanted to make an example, she could do so with Randyll, but fine, let’s concede the fact it had to be done. She burned them. A slow, horrible, agonising death. She could have beheaded them, as was customary in Westeros, but no, she chose to burn them because you know why? She likes it. She’s done it before. Burning her enemies gives her great satisfaction of her power, but also it spreads fear into the hearts of everyone there because she knows it’s the only way to get them to submit. 

If she allowed them the third option of becoming a prisoner of war, she knows they’d choose that over her. She even says so to Tyrion, because guess what? The people of Westeros doesn’t like or want Dany as their queen. Cersei may be a Grade A Bitch, but she’s the bitch they know. She doesn’t have dragons to burn those who defy her at her will. Yes, she’s powerful and could still easily execute people at a moment’s notice, but they’ve seen her humiliated and frightfully human when she was made to walk naked in shame through the streets of King’s Landing. She is human and she can fall. To them, Dany wields her power like a god and not the kind they worship out of love but out of fear. What kind of ruler is that?

And let’s talk about execution in general here. We’ve seen a lot of it over the seasons, and what we always come back to as a code of honour and true morality in this grey world is this quote from Mr Honour himself, Ned Stark: 

“The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.”

Mr Honour Jr aka Jon Snow lives by this rule like a life motto. If he must sentence a man to die, he will swing the sword himself, and throughout the show, we’ve seen Jon do this and we’ve seen how this weighs upon him, though the culprits may be deserving. Yes, people die in war and Jon has killed on the battlefield for survival, but executing someone is a deliberate act. It’s taking the life of a human while they are powerless to stop you. Jon doesn’t take any pleasure in it. 

But Dany… She’s executed people left, right and center. Burning them in the most unnecessarily cruel way because she can and because it instills fear. Feeding them to her dragons which is even worse. That’s not at her hand. That’s cowardly and sadistic. 

You know who else rules through fear? 

“The only way to keep your people loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy.” 

Cersei bloody Lannister. 

Yeah, let that sink in. And let’s move on. 

Jon meeting Drogon. I hated this scene, although I see how it’s important in establishing Jon as a Targaryen. I didn’t like it mostly because I was still reeling Drogon burning the Tarly’s alive, and yet right after, they have Jon bonding with Drogon like some special moment. But do you think Jon would even touch that dragon if he knew the horrors Dany had made Drogon do? Or the fact that she just executed Jon’s best friend’s family in the worst way possible? Yeah, Sam hated his father, but he didn’t hate his brother. And no matter what animosity there was between them, Sam is a good person and he would still be devastated by this. Not to mention we weren’t given all those Dickon scenes where the man acted with honour, kindness and bravery, just to dismiss him as another faceless enemy of Dany’s. He was Sam’s brother and so much like Sam in a way. I think that’s what made his death in spite only knowing him for 2 episodes so heartbreaking. Also, why this meeting between Jon and Drogon made me angry and disgusted. 

Of course, it also establishes some Jon3rys bonding, although more so on Dany’s side. Let’s face it, the Dragon Queen wants familial Dragon D. Her heart eyes for Jon throughout this episode was at least 100x more convincing than previous episodes between them. Jon, on the other hand, has moments where he does seem to think Dany is alright, but I still don’t see the same level of affection on his end at all. As always, he has a one-track mind and that’s the war up North. 

And I’m sorry but Dany’s attraction towards Jon seems to predicate on her notion that he’s as heroic and powerful as her. I get that he is and that’s a wonderful reason to fall in love with him, but it’s still falling in love with the idea of him and not who he is, because who Jon is, isn’t that person. He doesn’t want to be a hero or to be powerful. I know Show Jon doesn’t go into this, but Book Jon wants a family, to settle in Winterfell and live peacefully and honourably like his pseudo father. But Dany will never know that about him because she doesn’t know him. Take her asking Jon about whether he got a knife to the heart, the wonder and awe in her eyes as she asks him. She wants him to be just like her (or her delusional perception of herself as some kind of prophesised princess that was promised). Jon is who she thinks she is and she’s attracted to that, which is basically some Game of Thrones version of Narcissus. When she realises he’s a Targaryen, she’ll feel threatened more than relieved she’s not alone, because if she thinks he’s her then she’ll think he wants the Iron Throne and he’s a threat to her ambitions. 

There’s a reason why after all that Gilly discovers the Rhaegar and Elia annulment (which btw is such bullshit but whatever). Jon has more right to the Iron Throne than she does. 

What’s funny about this episode that even Dany’s Second Biggest Fan struggles to support her. Yes, he still will, but that entire conversation he has with Varys just sounds a lot like he’s trying to convince himself that ‘yes, all rulers burn their prisoners like a sadistic pyroqueen, and yes, Dany is so not like her father’. And the fact that her own loyal subjects are questioning her? Yeah, tell me again how she’s a hero. 

Now onto the main reason why I hate this episode: StarkBowl. But oh ho, not Jon and Sansa StarkBowl but Sansa and Arya. 

I’ve always loved Arya. She was my favourite character for so many seasons, until I fell madly in love with Sansa, although Arya remains in my Number 2 spot. But this episode, I felt such a burning anger towards her. After all they’ve been through, everything Sansa’s endured, Arya would still hold her accountable for the beliefs Sansa held as a young child. She’s changed and grown so much on account of her experiences yet she will not lend her own sister the same courtesy. It pisses me off because what Arya is doing (judging and accusing Sansa of things she didn’t do or for who she was when she was a child) is exactly what Anti-Sansa’s have been doing for years. And her own short-sighted, ignorant inability to grasp that this woman before her is not the same Sansa she once knew has now led her to being manipulated and conned by Littlefinger. 

What I can only hope is that Sansa is smarter than Littlefinger. Bran wouldn’t give Arya the dagger if he foresaw Arya using it on Sansa. And I feel like it is so uncharacteristic of Arya, who has longed for so long to be reunited with her pack, to suddenly break down by childish prejudice at the first miscommunication. Sansa is far more cunning than anyone gives her credit for and I feel that this could all be a long orchestrated con on Littlefinger himself. Arya’s not that stupid. I refuse to believe she’s stupid enough to underestimate LF that way and let herself be manipulated so easily. I feel like perhaps that fight between Sansa and Arya was for LF’s benefit because it felt so contrived, so out of nowhere. I know this speculation is also heavily biased by my refusal to believe that the Starks would fight amongst themselves after all they went through, but I do believe that LF will die this season. It won’t be at Sansa’s hand but it will be because of Sansa’s machinations. 

Now, onto Gendry!!!!!

The happiest part about this hell episode because fuck, he’s so hot still. That cropped hair, those muscles, that smile… Yeah, swoon. He’s also hilariously bullheaded (very like a Baratheon) when he ignores Davos, hits those soldiers with his hammer and immediately tells Jon who he is. 

In fact, there was this instant spark of chemistry between Gendry and Jon in their first meeting. 

“You’re a lot leaner.”

“You’re a lot shorter.”

The gentle ribbing of two strangers is adorable, but it also reminds me of Ned and Robert’s first scene together:

“Your Grace.”

"You’ve got fat.”

Now the parallels of Jon as Ned is nothing we haven’t seen before. Gendry as Robert is newer, and Jon and Gendry together as Ned and Robert is so satisfying to watch. It also makes me, a trash shipper, so happy because you know if Jon is being paralleled as Ned in this episode, you know who is being paralleled as Cat? 

Yes, that’s right. Strong, confident Sansa, who was called only Lady Stark in the Great Hall meeting. 

I know I’m crazy but I’m still not worried about Jonsa. That scene in the Great Hall just kept making me think of Sansa as Penelope. She’s there holding onto Winterfell for Jon’s return as he gallivants off on his many missions and overcomes his many trials. She’s there, always loyal and true to him, and maintains his kingdom for him

Boatbang may happen (likely), but Odysseus also slept with Calypso, before ultimately returning to his lady love. I believe the same will happen for Jonsa. 

Also, who thinks Cersei’s not actually pregnant? I think she’s beginning to question Jaime’s loyalty and needs to firmly hold him in place. And I think when he finds out she’s not after all he’s done for, all the sinful things he did, it might make him plunge that sword into her heart prophecy-style. Or not a sword. I don’t know. 

But that’s it for me. My head hurts. My heart hurts. And I maintain that I hate this episode because fuck StarkBowl. And fuck disrespecting Sansa like that

I LOVE MY FAT DISGUSTING PIG-WIFE

I’m Josh, and I love my fat disgusting pig-wife.

I’m a freelance author and lifestyle blogger. My wife is a fatass and tub of lard. I met my wife Charlotte at the county fair when I mistook her for one of the prize hogs and started feeding her corn out of my palm, careful to keep my fingers curled in so that she wouldn’t gnaw off the tips of my fingers. About a full four minutes into feeding her, I realized she wasn’t actually a hog, but was actually a very fat yet somehow sexually attractive woman! We quickly fell in love, even as she never kept her eyes off the corn. We’ve been inseparable ever since, partially because I always have a little bit of corn in my hand and she’s always sniffing and licking it. She’s so cute like that.

I love my fat butterball wife, disgusting curves and all. I love the way she really fills out her sty. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, bunch of chocolate sauce in her hair ‘cause she fell asleep in her sundae, contact lenses made of Necco wafers, sometimes eats out of the recycle bin if she’s too tired to get to the fridge. This gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the fattest one in the room. But hey, that’s just me. I’m a feminist, and so is my big-as-a-house revolting wife.

As a teenager, I was teased for being attracted to things that didn’t even look human, like women fatter than a size 4 and big rocks and like those old timey bikes with one big round wheel. Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and farm animals, I realized how many men have bought into the lies of the media. A woman doesn’t have to be tall and thin to be beautiful! A woman doesn’t even have to have a name or personality! She can just be a shapeless blob with no distinguishing marks about her like a pile of condensed milk. That’s how I feel about my gorgeous, disgusting wife Carly. Wait, is that her name, “Carly?” That doesn’t look right. What’s her name? Definitely something with a C. I’d ask her, but her mouth is full right now, as she is eating Thanksgiving dinner in August.

Sure, my wife isn’t going to be on the cover of Cosmopolitan, except when she sits on it because I’ve lined her kennel with issues of Cosmopolitan. Because when she sits around the kennel she sits aroooound the kennel. Which is fine! But Cindy is so kind. Cindy has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Even her heart is plus-sized. And I love it for that. Whether my wife is finding an old bagel tucked underneath her cute side rolls or devouring a whole chocolate fountain even the metal parts before the guy we rented it from comes to take it away, she’s always being true to herself. She’s always just being Claire.

Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s perfectly unique. She has stretch marks. She has big flat teeth that she uses to bite you if you try to cut when she’s waiting in line for soft serve. She has cute little dimples on her booty that she fills with hard candies and bouillon cubes to keep for later in case she gets hungry at the DMV. The twelve teats that run vertically down her front might not all be the same size. She’s real.

Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate your turgid sausage of a body for exactly who you are, someone who will love you just like I love my disgusting wife Chappie. I love you, honey!

Lana Del Rey says Donald Trump helped shape her album ‘Lust For Life’ — and the world needs feminism more than ever.
The singer has returned to the world of music with her fourth studio album in five years.

By Jacqui Swift for The Sun (UK).

LANA DEL REY’s latest album glitters with an all-star cast.
On ‘Lust For Life,’ her most impressive album yet, Lana teams up with heavyweights such as The Weeknd, Stevie Nicks, Sean Ono Lennon and A$AP Rocky.

They are the first collaborations in her career so far, which spans five studio albums, including four in the past five years — an impressive work rate for the Los Angeles-based star.

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ICYMI: Chelsea Manning for Vogue

In a Guardian column, written while in prison, Manning had discussed her nervousness about moving through the world as a woman. Now that she’s no longer worried about being “found out” by the military, she says, the fear is gone. “It feels natural. It feels like it’s how it’s supposed to be, instead of this anxiety, this uncertainty, this ball of self-consciousness that comes with pretending to be male,” she says. “It didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t describe it. Now that’s gone.” […]

“I have these values that I can connect with: responsibility, compassion,” she goes on. “Those are really foundational for me. Do and say and be who you are because, no matter what happens, you are loved unconditionally.” It’s the lesson, she says, that she wishes she learned earlier. “Unconditional love,” she says. “It is OK to be who I am.”

It is OK to be who you are. 

I have to say though, I think my favourite part about the Thirteenth Doctor announcement is seeing how many women are now saying they are going to start watching again because 1) the Doctor is played by a woman and 2) Moffat is no longer writing the show, like…

you can really feel how much this part of the audience has been alienated through the years by how terribly terribly misogynistic the show had become in the hands of a man who wrote awful plots, cringe-worthy characters and bingo-card-worthy episodes

and now you can see how many of us are getting hopeful again that Doctor Who will go back to being the brilliant show it used to be (not perfect, but still brilliant) and how many of us are ready to jump back on the Whovian train if it means we as the audience are no longer treated like crap by the show runner

and it feels so good

Unfortunate Event

Y/N waits anxiously for her date to come. Blind date is never her thing until her colleague said it’s about time she stops being too attached to her work and starts going out there. Nervously she texts her friend about her date’s whereabouts. Getting stood up doesn’t seem to be an option for her since she was basically forced to attend this blind date. All she wants is for this date to be smooth so she can go back home and watch The Bachelorette reruns.

It’s already an hour after their supposed meeting time and her date shows no sign of coming. Disappointed, she lets out a heavy sigh and cues the waiter to hand her the menu. She might not have a good date but at least she’d have some good meal.

“A table for one, then, Miss?” the waiter asks, trying to hide his sympathy.

“Seems so,” she mumbles lightly, “What if he walked in, saw me, and left? Oh, God… I’m gonna kill Mary.”

Not knowing what to answer, the waiter proceeds to wrap the fancy dining utensils which her date should be using by now. The sound of the plates clanking against each other had several people looking at her way with pitiful expressions and she just wants to bury herself. She leans in her chair to avoid the gazes and angrily texts her friend. She must’ve been so caught up in the state of her inner wrath that she doesn’t realize a tap on her shoulder.

“Ahem.”

“Yeah, sorry, yeah?” she still looks at her phone, not really paying attention to the person who is talking to her.

“You seem very… distraught. Mind if I sit here?”

She goes silent for a while, trying to put together the new scene in front of her. There, stands the Harry Styles in an undeniably attractive fashion choice. His hair is styled with a little quiff and the look is final with a friendly smile upon his face.

“Wait, what?”

Harry snorts seeing her genuine reaction, “Mind if I sit by the empty seat?”

She shakes her head, confusion still written on her face as Harry sits and motions the waiter to pour him some wine.

“What’re you looking at?” he asks since she has been staring at him the whole time.

She blinks away her own disbelief and opens her mouth slowly — almost a whisper that if he doesn’t come closer he won’t be able to hear her, “Aren’t you Harry Styles?”

“Yes, I am,” he answers in a whisper as well.

“You’re not my blind date, are you?”

“No, ‘m not,” he chuckles. By now, they’re only inches apart since they’re whispering and each tries to get what the other is saying in such a crowded place.

Harry continues, “Why are we whispering?”

She leans back, still puzzled of the sight in front of her. She’s supposed to have a date with a close friend of her colleague’s who’s described as pretty much nothing like the man sitting on his supposed place.

Harry giggles, “I sat behind you. You were anxious for the past hour, tossing and turning ‘round like a little whirligig.”

She blushes. It’s her thing. She’s not a very serious person, she’s just very much bubbly and impulsive and all that. She easily laughs at the lamest jokes, she gets panic over the silliest little things, she’s just very in the moment. That’s understandable how Harry finds her funny and interesting enough to get him turn around and talk to her. He doesn’t find this kind of personality often around him and he’d love to get to know people who are downright spontaneous in a world full of plans and agendas.

“Are you alone? Here, I mean,” she raises an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say we had the same unfortunate event tonight,” he winks.

“No fucking way!” she closes her mouth with her hands, “How can the Harry Styles got stood up?”

To this outspoken question, he bursts into laughter. He’s accustomed to people being awed by his presence but he never sees such honesty. He always has people far up his ass, saying things to his liking. This situation, for instance: if he were to be talking to one of the said people, they would definitely backbite the girl who stood him up. But this girl doesn’t care about Harry Styles, she looks like she’s just really excited to hear a story from her old friend, Harry.

“Do you think she walked in, saw me, and left?” he mimicked her low question earlier.

She pouts. He chuckles. He’s been chuckling a whole lot more in the past hour than he usually does in a week.

“I love your music, by the way.”

His eyes light up and do the talking for him: really?

“Yeah, love it. Sorta reminds me of the good music, you know the golden era of rock and roll,” she runs her on the tablecloth pattern, “Not saying that nowadays’ music isn’t good or anything. It’s just… yours seem very truthful and different — a good different, of course. Oh, God… I’m sorry I have a tendency to ramble on.”

“Don’t apologize. I find it soothing.”

“What?”

“You talking,” he straightens up himself.

“You’re so full of it,” she laughs outright.

They talk about music for almost an hour, how she thinks one of his tracks reminds her of Electric Light Orchestra and how he voluntarily spills his classified personal approach towards that album. She says she likes bands from the 70s and his album brings back the vibes back that she thinks had long left the music industry and he can’t help but feel appreciated in the sincerest way possible. He tells her how they produced the album in Jamaica and how he wanted to put so much of himself in the album. She admits how she listens to his album in the midst of working, shower, jogging, sometimes even when she just feels like dancing by herself in her room.

And he can’t stop smiling, can’t stop beaming, can’t stop enjoying the sight of a person who just gets him. It feels like she presses a click inside him.

“I really hope you get to make more music,” she speaks lightly as she chews her meal.

“You know…” he puts down his fork, “Since we seem to have the same taste in music, I have exclusive access to a Roger Waters’ gig this weekend.”

Her eyes widen as he goes on, “Would you like to come? I can pick you up.”

“Harry— I don’t think I can take advantage of you like that.”

Harry melts upon her confession. Any person with that offer usually takes it in a blink of an eye but here she is, rejecting a grand opportunity because she doesn’t want him to feel used.

“You’re not taking any advantage out of me.”

“If you let me pay you back then I’m definitely in,” she smiles.

He frowns, “Now that’s not how my mum raised me as a man taking a woman to a date.”

She’s taken aback by his word choice but before she could answer, a girl approaches Harry.

“Harry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was you,” she grabs him by his arm. Being a gentleman he is, he immediately stands up.

“You are…?” he asks. His eyes go back and forth from the girl to Y/N, as if saying he doesn’t know what the hell is going on.

“I’m Emily. Nick set us up?” the girl seems confused after seeing Y/N and tries to remind Harry of his supposed blind date.

“Emily, yeah, right…” his voice trails slowly as he looks over Y/N who seems somewhat out of place.

There is a clear muzziness written on Emily’s face. Y/N can tell Harry is a courteous man who can never be rude to anyone, hence she completely understands that he’s in a dilemma as in how to send her off and that the seat is no longer hers. So, she does what she thinks is right.

“Well, it turns out we don’t have the same unfortunate event tonight,” an ingenuous smile spreads across her cheeks, “I had just finished. Have a great night you two.”

She mutters a goodbye and thank you to Harry and finds her way to exit the restaurant. She doesn’t feel any remorse whatsoever. If anything, she feels lucky enough to have a heartfelt talk with someone as wonderful as Harry.

Although, she can’t help but wonder if he actually means the last word he said. They don’t even have each other’s phone number so that date can’t ever occur. She won’t lie that she feels a little disappointed but then again, they’re not supposed to be having dinner together in the first place.

So she casually walks down the street. A disbelief giggle leaves her mouth. She still can’t believe she actually just had dinner with one of the people from her iPod.

She decides to put an earphone and hums to a song as she reaches the crossroad.

There was love all around, but I never heard it singing,” she almost jumps when someone no other than the Harry Styles himself singing the song she’s listening to right beside her in a crowded crossroad. Apparently, her hums are not that soft that he can sing along.

She’s surprised but can’t hide her excitement to see him by her side.

No, I never heard it at all till there was you,” he ends with a smile.

She grabs off her earphone, “Thought you had a date back there?”

“I did,” he puts his hands into his coat pockets, “Had to get her back home safely now, didn’t I?“

She just grins, unsure of what is happening. She just keeps pinching herself hoping this isn’t one of her unrealistic dreams.

“You didn’t realize I was right behind you the whole time, eh?”

“I was just… thinking,” she reasons as she feels her cheeks turn fire red.

“About our date this weekend?” a cheeky smile appears on his pretty face and to that she just rolls her eyes.

His hand finds his way to embrace the side of her body and she leans into his broad chest as she hands him one tip of her earphone, the other tip being in her ear and they just keep humming on the way home, enjoying each other’s company and the unfortunate event they had tonight.

anonymous asked:

imo, the fact that louis is stuck is why harry has this kind of leeway. or the other way around. no matter. it's just sad for the both of them, and esp louis whose team does not care about him, but just the stunts around him. in this lt001, i'll just blast the music, so the others would just be background noise.

Eh, I don’t agree with your first sentence. Harry has ALWAYS been able to play fast and loose with ambiguous quotes about his sexuality, gay innuendo, eccentric and feminine fashion choices, and so on…and actually, his allowance for that has increased over time. In direct contrast, Louis has been allowed to venture into those things less and less as the years have passed. I think the difference lies not in how their teams are playing off each other (I don’t think Harry is able to have more “gay” interviews because of Louis’ ironclad closet), but in how their own respective closets have always been different from one another. Harry was cemented as a womanizer so early on that he’s able to put minimal effort into reinforcing his closet because other people do the work for him. As we saw today, he can act gay as fuck and there will still be a huge defense squad claiming that he’s straight, claiming that he’s just joking around, claiming that he’s a huge advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and that’s all it is, claiming that he’s a true man in touch with his feminine side, claiming that he’s a straight man who’s not afraid to have fun and reject stereotypes, etc.

With Louis……it’s never ever been like that. He was super flamboyant and read as gay automatically to SO MANY PEOPLE back in the day, and over time, they’ve attempted to extinguish so many aspects of his true identity or shove them behind closed doors, and it continues to this day. People rave about so many of Harry’s photoshoots and fashion choices, and while I don’t think Louis would make the same choices in most cases because he’s his own person with his own distinct personality and fashion sense, when people try to make comparisons or act like Harry and Louis are so different because of the images they portray to the public, sometimes I just want to be like……do you guys really not realize that Louis would NEVER in a million years be allowed to do anything that veers even slightly from the hypermasculine, laddy, I’m-all-about-my-girl image they’ve been fine-tuning for years? Louis would NEVER be allowed to wear the clothing that Harry wore in Another Man or even Rolling Stone. Louis would NEVER be allowed to reject a model and get turned on by a man in an interview and then chuckle about it with the gay radio host and his stylist. His closet is so different from Harry’s, and it’s been that way for a long fucking time. And I’m not minimizing what Harry’s been through - his closet is less strict now, sure, but he’s been through some serious shit and what the media and fans do to him on a near daily basis with their het fantasies and linking him with every woman on the planet….it’s disgusting. But I feel like for a fandom that talks endlessly about how terrible their closets are, a lot of people don’t realize how much they’ve all bought the distinct images of both Harry and Louis in certain ways, despite the fact that both are at best, somewhat, and at worst, completely dictated by how different their closets are and always have been.

With Louis, it’s not just about the baby, or Eleanor. It’s everything. It’s years and years worth of publicly erasing his genuine self and making him little more than a shell of masculinity supported by his fake baby and fake girlfriend, with a career and family life and friendships and charity work and personality that always, always, always come second to everything straight about him. With the Observer, I had so much hope that this promo would show more of HIM, who he actually is, a dynamic and fascinating and lovely person, but then I see how things are going, and I look at how differently some things have gone for Harry, and then I realize that this is just going to be more of the same for Louis. And I don’t understand why and I don’t think I ever will, but it’s terrible to watch. It’s sad and so frustrating, but I won’t stop wanting better for him anytime soon.

Ten years, too late

Bucky x Reader

Summary:“You can’t stop me from seeing my own daughter.” + “You lost the right to see her when you walked out of our lives ten years ago.”

Word Count: 2271

Warnings: angst, death (mention only)

A/N: so, this is my submission for ( @bladebarnes ) Blade’s 2k writing challenge, just gonna leave this here, before i go on my break!
i really don’t know how this messed up idea came to my mind, but i hope it’s something new bc i wanted to save this prompt from being a total cliche so, yeah :) also, I made a little change in the second sentence, hope you don’t mind

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Spider-Man was fucking DOPE!

Man, I haven’t seen a Spider-Man movie so good for a very long time. I disliked Garfield’s version and I wasn’t really expecting much from Tom Holland, but after Civil War, my hope actually did skyrocket. And Spider-Man: Homecoming has not disappointed me. Though, it had one small minus.

Spoilers ahead, obviously.

Here’s my list of things I totally loved:

  • Bear papa Tony Stark. Seriously. A++++ character development. Tony is nothing but a sweet angel, I promise. He doesn’t steal the show either.
  • HAPPY HOGAN HONESTLY I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!!!
  • They chose not to follow the boring-to-death Mary Jane/Gwen Stacy bullshit, instead they chose a NORMAL high school-like hardcore crushing/relationship. Not the big, eternal love at the age of 15. Yes, Peter was clearly having strong feelings for Liz, but it wasn’t all unnecessarily too much. They kept it totally natural and realistic. I will love them forever for that.
  • Biracial relationship, biracial marriage. Nice.
  • Many POC characters.
  • Ned is basically me the entire movie, honestly
  • Did I mention they kept it all REAL? Peter cried more than once, because he was in danger, because he was confused, because he is still a kid. Yes, he is tough, he is smart, he is strong and brave, but he is also only 15 and he is allowed to be weak and to learn out of that. I think it was really, really awesome.
  • Zero plot holes. Like, literally, none. They packed it all up nicely, addressed issues from CA:CW and Avengers both 1 and 2. I wish all the other movies and TV-show makers would do the same with their stories.
  • Karen, the suit lady and her instant-kill mode. Yup.
  • The Bank of Queen’s scene, with criminals wearing Avengers’ masks, so a casual viewier would get the “they’re seen as cirminals now” vibe. Small thing, done mostly for fun, but I like it anyways.
  • PAPA BEAR TONY STARK SERIOUSLY I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT
  • Also, Happy mentioned the plain contained “materials for Cap’s new shield”. I think I had an orgasm just by hearing that.
  • Oh and about Cap: I can’t even imagine the amount of fun Chris Evans had by jumping into his old Captain America costume just to film those lame educational movie clips
  • Also, the amount of trolling in the post-credit scene is strong. Very strong.
  • Assholes. Seriously. And Chris Evans’ shit-eating grin when Cap said “patience” was the worst. Fuck you, sir.


Things I did not like:

- Peppers Potts. What the even fuck. Like why? Where did she pop out from? Seriously? Just ????????


EDIT:

Ok guys, I feel like I need to clarify what I meant with Pepper.

It’s not that I don’t like Pepperony, or Pepper Potts herself. I freaking love Pepper Potts (as an individual character and not a part of Pepperony ship) and if Tony can’t be with Steve, then Pepper is honestly the best choice for him. (reason I’m saying Steve would be better is because Steve is much more understanding and delicate when it comes to Tony and that’s something Tony desperately needs)(but Stony can happen only if Stucky cannot tho. Stucky #1, always).

Anyway, all I’m saying is just that she popped out of the blue and it looked like nothing happened? Judging by Tony’s face in CA:CW when he said Pepper “needed a break”, it looked like she dumped him permanently, because she disliked his lifestyle and/or was too stressed herself (and that’s totally understandable, tho). It was probably the big drama effect that was meant to contribute to Tony’s general stress, frustration, and the feeling of not being in control of his life (again). I get it now after watching Spider-Man, it actually makes sense.

I just don’t like the way they put Pepper back in the story. Like nothing happened, like Tony was never heartbroken, and they’ve been happily together since 2008. Even though I love to see Tony happy and and head over heels in love, I wish they would save it to the Avengers movie and explain what actually happened between them and how did they resolve the conflict.

Pepper Potts is a strong and smart woman, she’s definitely the Stark Industry boss material, and of course she is a human being that’s constantly put into stressful situations thanks to Tony and his identity as Iron Man. I am not saying that she should block her own feelings just to make Tony happier, but if his lifestyle is too stressful for her and she cannot accept it, maybe it would be better if they weren’t together. Not because they’re not in love, but because Tony needs someone who will stay with him no matter what. He needs this psychological and emotional stability, and I don’t think it does him any good if Pepper constantly changes her mind whether to be or not to be with him. Either she stays and accepts him, and Tony of course does everything to soothe her stress, or they split. I just don’t like the emotional roller coaster Tony is constantly put through: he deserves cuddles, soft kisses and patience. Pepper deserves psychological stability, too.

That’s why I disliked the way they put them back together: I simply cannot know how they resolved the conflict. I miss it, because I wanted to see if they’re actually doing it properly this time. If they did, then I’m totally happy for Pepper’s return too.

It’s incredible as to how many people are still obsessed with using identity politics despite it being so painfully obvious that it’s just a cruel game of one-upmanship, like so:

A: “I feel really crappy right now and I wish someone was here supporting me.”
B: “Yeah, A, but you haven’t been through abuse. I’m an abuse survivor. I could have your problems, but also have to deal with trauma. Your problems are therefore nothing compared to mine.”
C: “Yeah, B, but you’re not mentally ill. I’m a mentally ill man who’s an abuse survivor. I could have your problems, but also have to deal with ableism. Your problems are therefore nothing compared to mine.”
D: “Yeah, C, but you’re a man. I’m a mentally ill woman who’s an abuse survivor. I could have your problems, but also have to deal with misogyny. Your problems are therefore nothing compared to mine.”
E: “Yeah, D, but you’re cis. I’m a mentally ill trans woman who’s an abuse survivor. I could have your problems, but also have to deal with transphobia. Your problems therefore mean nothing compared to mine.”
F: “Yeah, E, but you’re white. I’m a black mentally ill trans woman who’s an abuse survivor. I could have your problems, but also have to deal with anti-black racism. Your problems therefore mean nothing compared to mine.”

So suddenly, A asking for a little support after having a bad day leaves him open to be mocked and abused. There’s no compassion for him. No care for him. No space for any kind of basic human kindness.

Even in the middle of the pack, D gets to be mocked and abused because her problems still aren’t “enough” for others to give any compassion or sympathy.

And because identity politics is like this, the extra labels in bold end up becoming what’s important. It’s not even the so-called “intersectionality” that ends up being important, despite the claims to the contrary. It’s the final, additional label that gets all the focus.

  • Having a bad day isn’t as important as surviving abuse.
  • Surviving abuse isn’t as important as ableism.
  • Ableism isn’t as important as misogyny.
  • Misogyny isn’t as important as transphobia.
  • Transphobia isn’t as important as racism.

What’s even more shocking is that whilst A in this scenario is currently feeling really down and needs support right that second, in every other scenario thanks to identity politics, they’re not focused on what’s currently happening. They dismiss A because of labels that could mean that terrible things have happened in the past, or that bigotry might happen again in the future. It’s torn between “Once I had it worse than you currently have it, so that means that your issues are worthless” and “Something could potentially happen to me in the future that I think will be worse than you currently have it, so that means that your issues are worthless.” 

And that’s horrific.

But that’s not all. It doesn’t even always come from those with different labels to A. Sometimes it comes from people who are just like A, but because B, C, D, E and F even exist, then those people use them to dismiss A anyway.

In any other scenario, this kind of thinking would clearly show how nasty, cruel and disgusting people like that are.

1: “I’m upset because my snake might be sick.”
2: “Yeah, 1, but my snake had a disease, so you being upset means nothing.”
3: “Yeah, 2, but my snake died, so you being upset means nothing.”
4: “Yeah, 3, but I had a hamster that died, so you being upset means nothing.”
5: “Yeah, 4, but I had a dog that died, so you being upset means nothing.”

Or like this:

Z: “I’m upset because my parent is sick.”
Y: “Yeah, Z, but my parent is in the hospital, so you being upset means nothing.”
X: “Yeah, Y, but my parent died, so you being upset means nothing.”
W: “Yeah, X, but I never knew my parent, so you being upset means nothing.”

Anyone is allowed to feel pain without feeling guilty.

Someone always has it better than you. And someone else always has it worse.

There isn’t a limit on how much compassion you can give. How much care you can offer. How much sympathy you can feel.

Caring about one issue doesn’t mean that you have to stop caring about another.

Everybody goes through their own issues. They appear because of personal circumstances, background, their families, their friends, their schools, their jobs, their environment. Nightmares. Worry. Stress. 

Sneering that someone else’s personal problems are “worse” when you see that someone is having a rough time doesn’t make you “woke,” it makes you a monster.