i feel like a crazy person for making this

anonymous asked:

All my friends are going keto to lose weight. I've seen them lose some weight, and google says that it might be healthy for me as a prediabetic obese person but it feels crazy to restrict your diet like that and I don't know if it's "safe for fat people" the way all the other shit like lapband or starvation dieting etc is "safe for fat people" or ACTUALLY safe. I've been fortunate enough that I've never dieted but being around friends who eat like this is making me feel like I should.

Don’t drink the diet industry Kool Aid! Even if all your friends are doing it!

Please read my “dieting” and “weight loss” tags for all of the reasons you should NOT diet! Low carbohydrate diets in particular are incredibly unhealthy, as your body needs carbohydrates to function. You are fortunate you have never dieted! So keep it up. Your longterm health and well-being will be so much better off. 

Taylor loves all of her fans, whether you are the shy and quiet type of the loud and crazy type! She appreciates us all equally! Don’t feel like you have to change yourself or your personality to make Taylor like you because she already likes you I promise!!!

I think my dream aesthetic is just to be slightly inhuman looking. Like no crazy mods or anything. Ill even have natural hair. But i just want to be off putting. I want people to look at me and feel that something is off. Something isnt right. There is ~something~ going on with me and it makes them nervous or unsettled. Like having skin a little too shiny or canines a little too long, ears a little too pointy. I want to be someone who if you saw in the woods at night, you would question your own sanity.

When it comes to Taylor, all I know is that she has been a sweet, amazing human being to me. When she calls me, it’s hardly ever to talk about her accomplishments or things that she’s going through. She calls me and says, “How’s your heart? Are you OK?” I’ve been around her an awful lot, and if it were some type of crazy, fake façade, I think I would have figured it out by now. I feel like it’s a genuine part of who she is, and she’s a human being. Has she made mistakes? Yes. Will she make mistakes again? Yes. But let the person in America who has not made mistakes raise their hand.
—  TODRICK ON TAYLOR (and why i love the both of them)
Drabble List

So I just finished posting the last of the previous volley of drabbles so I decided to come up with a new prompt list. It’s mostly a hodge-podge of stuff from my own brain or inspired by songs or different shows and stuff but there are some from other prompt lists so, if anyone wants me to give credit, drop me a message and I’ll be sure to do so.

  1. “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”
  2. “You’re too good for this world.”
  3. “Could you be happy, here, with me?”
  4. “How long do we have?”
  5. “Do you think we’re bad people?”
  6. “How did we become this?”
  7. “I can hardly stand myself.”
  8. “Go to hell.”
  9. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m going to take care of you.”
  10. “There was a time before all of this.”
  11. “No one will ever believe us.”
  12. “Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kill you.”
  13. “My hobby is making fun of you when you talk.”
  14. “I used to do a lot of things.”
  15. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve moved on and I have to be okay with that.”
  16. “Do you wish things had happened differently?”
  17. “Don’t you dare look him in the eye.”
  18. “I’ll be here as long as it takes.”
  19. “We were never meant to fight on our own.”
  20. “Something’s clearly wrong.”
  21. “There’s nothing I can do anymore.”
  22. “This is going to hurt.”
  23. “I don’t need to be the hero tonight.”
  24. “Am I ever going to see you again?”
  25. “We always have a choice.”
  26. “You’re holding back.”
  27. “I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow.”
  28. “Is that a threat?”
  29. “If you don’t like this world then change it.”
  30. “Are you kidding me? We’re not fine!”
  31. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”
  32. “Keep your eyes on me.”
  33. “You can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me.”
  34. “I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.”
  35. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.”
  36. “I wasn’t going to mention it.”
  37. “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.”
  38. “I’m here for you.”
  39. “What are you so happy about?”
  40. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”
  41. “You’re putting words in my mouth!”
  42. “We have to stick together.”
  43. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
  44. “Don’t leave me behind.”
  45. “What are you looking at?”
  46. “How did you find me?”
  47. “Who did this to you?”
  48. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
  49. “I have to tell you something.”
  50. “I need more time.”
  51. “You deserve better than me.”
  52. “This isn’t fair!”
  53. “If you kill them, you’d better kill me too, because otherwise I’m going to kill you.”
  54. “Please don’t shut me out.”
  55. “You are my best friend in the whole world, okay?”
  56. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
  57. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
  58. “You’re out of your damn mind.”
  59. “No one can hurt me like you can.”
  60. “You are my sunshine.”
  61. “This is all my fault.”
  62. “Please, don’t cry.”
  63. “Maybe I can’t fix you but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”
  64. “You should see this.”
  65. “You make me feel invincible.”
  66. “I’ll keep you safe.”
  67. “Don’t look at me like that.”
  68. “Let’s do something crazy.”
  69. “We are not going to steal someone’s dog.”
  70. “Do you trust me?”
  71. “You don’t get to pick and choose. You’re stuck with me.”
  72. “You know I’m gonna win, right?”
  73. “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
  74. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
  75. “Do you ever follow directions?”
seven-word sentence starter.
  • “please, don’t take this the wrong way.”
  • “know that we’ll still have each other.”
  • “tell me we’re doing the right thing.”
  • “you know what i was gonna say.”
  • “i don’t give a shit what happened.”
  • “everything is so confusing. i don’t know.”
  • “sorry. i didn’t mean what i said.”
  • “you really don’t have to keep apologising.”
  • “i hate knowing we have to hide.”
  • “it’s not your fault. don’t blame yourself.”
  • “this is all out of our control.”
  • “i think i’m going crazy without you.”
  • “what am i supposed to say to that?”
  • “we need to talk. call me.”
  • “i can’t sleep because of all this.”
  • “how much more must i be hurting?”
  • “i’m not the person i once was.”
  • “c’mon you know it’s not like that.”
  • “what about all of this is funny?”
  • “tell me you don’t feel the same.”
  • “you always seem to make me speechless.”
  • “you left me here all by myself.”
  • “is this all a joke to you?”
  • “i can still remember the good times.”
Skincare and Beauty Recommendations

For all you babes, I made a list of my must have stuff to look the best you can go scam an SD

 Body- Lush Ro Argan. This stuff is the bomb. It’s a body conditioner that smells like roses and honey. Smear that good stuff all over you and let it sit for five minutes. Wash it off and your body will be soft and smooth, no other products needed. I’ve used this stuff for five years and every person that gets a whiff of it compliments me. Guys go crazy for this scent, especially in the bed room downtown haha.JUST GET IT! You get a shower and body cream in one! 

Face Cream- Laneige Water Bank Cream. This shit makes my face look like it’s been kissed by an angel. So dewy and soft! I feel like I look much younger when I apply this because it hydrates so well. Perfect to use if you want something that traps the moisture in your face and is lightweight. I’ve noticed the dehydration wrinkles I had around my eyes and mouth have diminished. My makeup goes on like a dream after I apply this. 

 Face- Kojic acid soap. I use this soap for my uneven skin tone and acne spots. I barely wear foundation because it cleared up my clogged pores and hyperpigmenation. Dirt cheap off Amazon. Haven’t had a major breakout since I used this the past 3 years. 

 Perfume- Tom Ford private Collection comes in 12 scents. With mainstream brands, I feel like ALL WOMEN’s FRAGRANCES smell the same and give me a headache. Too sweet, floral, romantic, too much alcohol, etc.Now, this collection ain’t cheap, so, get a sample from your local department store. They give it to you in a cute vial and box and the sales associates are super knowledgeable about scents. THIS STUFF LASTS A LONG TIME! I wear the Tobacco Vanille all year round. Literally, this scent is my confident booster, I smell unique and luxurious! And the scent projects like a beast, so a 4 ML sample will last you cause all thats needed is a small dab for the day!  I used to buy decants off eBay to save £££ until I got me a SD to buy me the 100 ML hehe.

 Sunscreen- Elta SPF 40. This stuff is the best sunscreen on the market and all the dermatologists I’ve seen recommended it. No white cast and absorbs into skin fast, it’s also super moisturizing! 

 Hair- Bumble Bee Invisible Oil. If you have frizzy, dry, damaged, natural, thick hair, this SHIT IS THE BOMB. This is the only product that works on my hair when I wear it curly and straighten it. It does the job, smells great, and my hair looks so glossy and healthy….best of all it doesn’t weight my hair down or feel greasy. 

 Mascara- Lacome Hypnose is the only thing I use on my lashes in the past six years. I will NEVER STRAY from Lacome’s mascara products. It makes my eyes look amazing and it’s easy to take off at night. Don’t like the other brands like Benefit or Too Faced which are hard to remove at night.

 Makeup Remover- Clinique Take Off the Day Balm. Your makeup literally will melt off when you wash your face with this! I used so many different brands from wipes to oil to alcohol and none of them worked as well as this. 

 Lipstick- Nars Velvet Lip Pencil in Bahama is the best nude/rosy color out there for all girls IMO. I use the Train Bleu colour (quite vampy) when going out at night and always got compliments! Because it’s a jumbo pencil lippy, you can line your lips easily and fill it in! Lasts all night! Taylor Swift uses their Dragon Girl  shade as her signature red colour according to the makeup artist that showed me.! Best secret lippies around!

 Foundation- Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk is a game changer. My skin looks radiant, dewy, and natural which no other foundation has given me. Everyone raves about it and I wish I listened earlier and quit wasting my money at MAC and Estee Lauder.

Concealer- Nars Creamy Radiant Concealer- If you don’t like wearing foundation, this concealer is all you need then. It hides my dark eye circles and any redness on my face like a PRO. Comes with a wand so you don’t need to use anything else when applying it!

Todrick Hall speaks out about Taylor Swift video backlash

Yahoo Music: So when some people saw you dancing in “Look What You Made Me Do,” they were not pleased, to put it mildly. What exactly happened?

Todrick Hall: They saw a clip, just a few seconds, that featured Taylor Swift standing in a line of dancers, and they started forming all types of conclusions. I was just very confused by that, because I knew that there was nothing “Formation”-esque or Lemonade-esque about the video. Artistically, I didn’t feel that was the case. I’m a humongous Beyoncé fan. I’ve worked with Beyoncé. I’ve choreographed for Beyoncé. And I would never intentionally be a part of art that I felt was ripping off my favorite artist of all time. But I felt like these were two completely different lanes.

“Sellout” was one of the common names you were called.

Yes, one of the main things that people said was, “He wanted to make his money. Well, good for him, he got paid. And I guess payment is enough for you to sell out your family, your people, your community.” But this had nothing to do with money. I didn’t do this Taylor Swift video for money. I did it because she’s my friend, and she was very excited about it. And she wanted people to be there who she could trust, because it was a very big undertaking. I was proud to be there, but money was not a factor for me. I don’t do things for money.

But there are people online who have a problem with the fact in general that you and Taylor are friends?

Yes, I have gotten comments from people who are upset and have literally said the fact that I am friends with a white person is a problem, because white people don’t possess the ability to love or ever truly care about black people. And I find that very disheartening. I’ve grown up in a neighborhood where I went to church with and lived with and went to school with beautiful black people; when I look at them, I see myself. But then I was also in a peculiar situation, because I danced in a dance group where I was the only black person in the dance studio. In some cases, I was the only black cheerleader in my school. I did theater where I was the only black person, the “token black person.” And working at Disney, oftentimes I was the only black person in the show at Disney World or Disneyland on any given day. And I also did tours where I was the only black singer; I did a cruise ship where I was the only black person in the cast. So I’ve been used to being in situations where I’ve had to find friendships and find love and find similarities. My whole brand, everything that I stand for and everything I’ve always stood for, is equality and love. So it’s just really difficult for me to understand why it is an issue for people, a legitimate issue, that I have white friends, and that Taylor Swift happens to be one of my many white friends.

Apparently there’s a thing called the “cookout,” which is like your invitation to be a part of the black community. Some people have, like, deemed themselves the Woke Police, and they decide to strip you online of your invitation to attend the “cookout.” It boggles my mind that people are deciding whether or not I’m down enough, black enough, or woke enough to be “invited.” If I have to hate people and judge people based on their race, sexual orientation, or religion, then sorry, but I’d rather order pizza.

What is Taylor really like? Describe your bond.

What people are mostly forgetting is that Taylor Swift really is my friend. Sometimes because she is a celebrity of such a huge status, inarguably one of the biggest stars of our generation, people forget that there is a human side to her, that she has real friends that she calls and talks to about her real problems. And I call her, and I have cried on her shoulder about my own relationship issues and family issues and career issues. We are friends, and so when she asked me to do this video, I said absolutely. It wasn’t a question for me. I trust her, and I had no problem doing the video. And I just think that it’s really sad and shocking that me doing four eight-counts of choreography is enough to make people feel the need to question my “blackness” or “wokeness.”

Taylor came to see me in Kinky Boots and she stayed after the show for two hours and met every single person in that cast — took pictures, signed stuff, met every usher, every custodian, every orchestra member, every producer and their kids. And then she went outside and met fans outside the theater afterwards, stayed there for over two and a half hours after the show and wouldn’t leave until every single person had been met. There are just very few celebrities in the world who would do something like that. She didn’t have to do that. She could’ve come to the show, said hi to me, and left. That’s just what type of person she is, and what type of person she’s always been. Her parents raised her so well, and when you’re in the room with them, you can feel that energy.

It just is shocking to me that people will see an image of her and hear stories online about her, or arguments with other celebrities who she did not ask to be involved with, who recorded her against her will without her knowing and then decided to release six-second clips of a conversation that happened to paint her to be this evil person that I don’t believe that she is. Come on, we’ve watched millions of episodes of Law & Order or seen Judge Judy a million times; how are they not able to conclude that there is something missing from this? If you feel the need to record someone on video with people there, the intentions may not have been the most pure.

Some of the criticism Taylor has received recently has to do with the fact that she has not been politically outspoken in past years, like some of her peers Katy Perry or Lady Gaga.

Yeah, many people have been tweeting me, “She supports Trump! She probably voted for Trump!” They’re making this huge assumption, when Taylor has never to my knowledge come out and said anything about her being pro-Trump. But people would still rather believe that she is the one who is pushing Trump’s agenda. That was one of the major things that was tweeted at me, and I’m like, “So you are mad that you think she might support Donald Trump? But you’re not mad that Kanye has been very openly pro-Trump?” I don’t understand that.

Look, I’m not Taylor Swift, so I can’t speak for her and why she does or does not choose to speak or not speak about any specific subject matter. All I know is that she has been nothing but a great person to me. Her family has welcomed me into their home and treated me like I was a member of the family. They’ve welcomed every single person I’ve ever brought around them. I’ve never felt like there was ever a moment that I couldn’t be myself, and talk about the fact that I’m gay or whatever. At Thanksgiving, we all sat around and talked about it, and there was another one of her friends there who was African-American, and we all sat down and talked about racism and watched 13th on Netflix and talked about how important it was. It was one of the most beautiful conversations I’ve ever had, because sometimes as an African-American person I feel like I can’t voice my opinion about how difficult it is to be not just an African-American person in the entertainment industry, but how scary it is to be black in America, in even 2017.

When it comes to Taylor, all I know is that she has been a sweet, amazing human being to me. When she calls me, it’s hardly ever to talk about her accomplishments or things that she’s going through. She calls me and says, “How’s your heart? Are you OK?” I’ve been around her an awful lot, and if it were some type of crazy, fake façade, I think I would have figured it out by now. I feel like it’s a genuine part of who she is, and she’s a human being. Has she made mistakes? Yes. Will she make mistakes again? Yes. But let the person in America who has not made mistakes raise their hand.

I think that I’m on my own journey; every artist is on their own journey. Maybe one day, Taylor will start being super-political, and using her voice to do thing that people think that she should be doing. But even then, she will probably be ridiculed for not being vocal enough, or not being on the right side. I don’t think that there is a way to win in this industry, so every person has to take their own journey at their own pace, at their own time, and do what they feel like is right. All I know is that Taylor has been nothing but sweet to me since day one, and if she asks me to do a video, I’m absolutely going be there.

I’m not apologizing for being a part of the video and doing four eight-counts of choreography in it. I thought it was a great piece of art. I thought it was awesome. It’s broken so many records and I’m proud to be a part of it. I don’t think I’ve sold out my race or my community — the gay community, the black community. I think that I was just in a piece of art that my friend made. I’m not issuing a statement to people about it to explain myself, because there’s nothing to explain. I’m not sorry that I did it, and I don’t think that it was a mistake. If I had a do-over, I would absolutely be there for another eight hours, in heels, dancing with her.

Is Taylor aware of the heat you’ve gotten for being in her video?

I have talked to her about it, and she has been very uplifting and given me a lot of information about how when you’re doing big things, there will always be people who have something to say about it. But I think that Beyoncé gave me the best advice when I met her. She said, “Don’t scroll down. Don’t go down and look at comments, and when you do something as an artist, make a decision and stick to it. You don’t need to apologize for things that you’ve done.” I use that all the time.

You have gotten this sort of criticism before.

Yeah. In the beginning, it was because I did videos based on stereotypes of a particular group that put people in a negative light. And so I took those notes, because I consider myself to be a humble person, and I tried to apply them, and tried to do less work on my YouTube channel that stereotyped people, less work that stereotyped my race as being “ghetto” or “ratchet,” because I did understand the argument. I think it’s a really difficult thing when you toe the line with comedy, because there are certain things that some people are going to think is funny, but then some people are always going to be offended. The political climate has changed so much over the past months since Donald Trump became president, and it has just been a very scary place to create content online. So I tried to do whatever I can to create content that everyone can love and that is inclusive of everybody.

It’s just something that I deal with every day. I wrote an album about my life [Straight Outta Oz], about how I fell in love at 19 years old with a boy who was British and who just happened to be white. I wrote a song called “Color,” and in the song I say the line, “You’re my favorite hue.” What I meant by that when I wrote the song was it’s supposed to be a direct relation to the 1939 Wizard of Oz film, and then everything turns to color when Dorothy gets to Oz. I felt like my whole world was black and white before I met this person. But people took that as that white was my favorite color, and that was what I preferred. People have assumed that am the type of person that refuses to date people of my own race or associate with people of my own race. Which, I don’t feel the need to prove to them that I have in fact dated multiple black men and Puerto Rican, Latino men. I’m an equal opportunist when it comes to love. I think everyone is beautiful. You fall in love with a person, not the outer layer of skin.

It’s really frustrating because I don’t think that people realize that when I got to L.A., I lived in not a great neighborhood. A policeman drove up onto a sidewalk, got out of the car, pushed my face on the ground, put my hands on my back, pulled a gun out on me. I have never felt so scared in my entire life. I have witnessed so many things like that. It’s very difficult for me to go and spend time in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood without the cops being called on me, because people don’t know why I’m there and they think I look suspicious. I have had a lot of issues and dealt with racism in the same capacity as a lot of other people. I have written so many songs, even on Straight Outta Oz, about the Black Lives Matter movement, because it’s something that I’m very passionate about. It’s something that I definitely use my voice and my platform to speak out against. So it’s frustrating that people who have never met me in person like to make huge, incorrect assumptions about me and go and scream them and yell them from the rooftops online.

I just strongly feel that if we can’t get along within our own race, and have to point fingers and yell at people who we think don’t have our back when we don’t know anything about them — we haven’t listened to the facts, we haven’t seen the footage, there are no receipts to show that this person is not a proud African-American person who isn’t down to fight for equality for everyone’s sake — if we fight with each other so much that we’re tearing down our own race and our own community, how does that make us any better than the people in Charlottesville, carrying the tiki torches? How are we any better than those people, and how are we ever going to meet in the middle and finally be able to say, “Let’s be one unified group of people”? I just don’t understand how it’s possible, and that what makes me so upset.

Online outrage is at an all-time high right now, for sure. Everyone is on edge.

I think that we’ve got to figure out a way within our own community to stop tearing people down and stop making assumptions and looking for reasons to be mad. I don’t know what is happening in the world right now, but now is a scary time. People are looking for someone to blame and someone to point fingers at. I don’t think that Taylor Swift is the problem with America right now. People can try to make that be the issue, but there is a much bigger issue here in our country that we need to look at and recognize, and figure out what we can do to be a part of making the world a better place, to be nice and sweet and kind to each other, and to realize that racism is a huge horrible thing that has kept a lot of people down.

But I think it’s going to take every race, every minority, every gay person, every trans person, every straight person, waking up and realizing that we can’t do this alone. We can’t divide into our own little sections and decide that we’re going to secretly hate each other and be mad if one person goes over and shakes the hand of somebody on the other team. We all need to be one team. We all have to go out and extend an olive branch to each other and try to help each other out and try to build one another up. That’s the only way that we can be successful. That’s the only way that we can make this world the beautiful place that God created it to be. Spread love, and love each other. That’s what I try to do.

Did you engage with any of your online critics about this video?

I gave no negative tweets, didn’t argue with people on social media, had nothing to say to them. But I even went so far as to give somebody my phone number online so they could call me and said, “If you feel I’ve done something that’s offended you, or if you could shed some light on as to how me being involved with this video or being friends with Taylor Swift — other than the fact that she is white and you feel that she is the epitome of white privilege, the poster child for white privilege … If there’s anything you can do to shed some light to me as to how I can be a better example for young African-American kids growing up, then I would love to talk to you on the phone.” And I meant it. And I talked to them, and I felt like we came to a good place. I’m a humble person; I’m not opposed to taking constructive criticism.

There was a time two years ago where I would’ve damn near gotten carpal tunnel because I would’ve stayed up all night trying to argue back and forth [on Twitter], thinking, “What would Regina George do?” Now I’m adopting the policy, “What would Beyoncé do?” So I’m going to kill all these people with kindness. I’m going to be nice to them, and I’m just going to prove to them, one by one when they meet me, what type of person I am. Support my friends, be nice to people, and do what I have to do to be a good human being and play my part in society and in this crazy political climate.

Obviously I’m not diminishing the horrible things that have happened to get us to this point, but at this point we have a choice to either band together and fight and talk about the real issues and the real problems, and Taylor Swift is not the problem. If we can all accept the fact that there is a bigger problem and start having dialogue and talking to each other — not just with the people that it’s comfortable for us to talk to, our own people and people who look like us, but to people who might not understand where we’re coming from or what we’ve been through — then we might get closer to making this world a unified place, the way that Michael Jackson sang about in his songs and in his music. While I know that is not the theme of “Look What You Made Me Do,” I do believe that is the theme of Taylor Swift’s heart and the person that she truly is on a personal level.

(x)

anonymous asked:

can you like briefly describe some signs of emotional abuse... like i've read a lot of articles on it but i feel like they are spittng bs at me if that makes sense?? idk

that makes sense, i know the feeling.

the thing about emotional abuse is that it doesn’t take just one form, it can range from complete and repeated neglect of another person’s feelings to straight up manipulation and verbal lambasting. that’s the most insidious thing about it, it’s very hard to pinpoint. because it’s so wide-ranging, it’s hard to accept that you are or have been emotionally abused. in most cases, if you feel like you are being abused by someone, you most likely are. once it gets to the point where you feel like you can use the word ‘abuse’, even if it feels so so heavy, you’re probably there.

i think that if a person is neglecting your feelings, not taking them into account when/if you bring them up, continually doing things that hurt you even when you bring up to them that it hurts you, and making you feel wrong/crazy/irrational when you bring them up, that’s emotional abuse. if the person somehow always seems to make you feel wrong or guilty/they turn it back around on you when you bring up what they’re doing that’s hurting you,that’s manipulation, and that’s emotional abuse. you’ll most likely stop bringing up to them things that hurt you because you know it’s going to be spun back around to make you feel guilty.

if, in your relationship (whether it’s romantic, platonic, or familial), you constantly feel like you are being drained of emotion/energy or being used for constant emotional labor without the person doing anything in return for you, that’s emotional abuse. relationships are about mutual giving and taking. if you are constanty giving and they ate takiny and taking, they’re taking advantage of you, they know they are, and they often don’t feel bad or guilty about it at all. they will continue to take and take from you because they know that they can. that’s emotional abuse.

if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around this person, if you feel like this person is isolating you from everyone else, if you feel like this person is tearing you down, if you feel like this person is not supporting you the way that you support them, if you feel like this person is completely disregarding your feelings all the time, that’s emotional abuse. and it may come in the form of something like “well, i lied to you/did this because i didn’t want to hurt or upset you, because i knew you’d be upset” which is a way that abusers try to paint themselves as the good guy when they’re hurting you. it makes you, the victim, feel bad and guilty and like you have no right to be upset, even though you absolutely do. they absolve themselves of guilt that way to make themselves feel better, not you, and that’s not fair, and they really don’t care about your feelings.

a common misconception about emotional abuse is that is has to be intentional on the abuser’s part, which isn’t always true. someone can be abusing you without even realizing they’re doing it because they’re so caught up in their own needs that they fail to realize that they’re abusing, taking advantage of, and manipulating you. that doesn’t mean it isn’t abuse; in fact, it shows that they care so little about your feelings that they don’t even realize what they’re doing, and that’s fucked up. (http://thexfiles.tumblr.com/post/157356728735/the-insidious-power-of-abuse-is-that-it-comes-from)

i know you asked for a short response, so i’m sorry that this is so long and scatterbrained. i’m in class and i can’t sit down and formulate a cogent response, but i’m incredibly passionate about this and wanted to respond as soon as i could.

here are some additional links about emotional abuse that i’ve found particularly helpful:
http://thexfiles.tumblr.com/post/157356728735/the-insidious-power-of-abuse-is-that-it-comes-from
http://cannibal-rainbow.tumblr.com/post/137573548343/why-people-get-trapped-by-emotional-abusers-why
http://the-courage-to-heal.tumblr.com/post/104033300849/source
http://internal-acceptance-movement.tumblr.com/post/58161291797
http://thatdiabolicalfeminist.tumblr.com/post/143342352954/some-common-abuse-tactics
https://closet-keys.tumblr.com/post/148173822103/friendlyangryfeminist-abusers-are-really-good
http://cannibal-rainbow.tumblr.com/post/145963754033/hyper-empathys-function-in-abuse-and-trauma

take care. 💛

Learning to be at peace is the most unpeaceful thing
Because you have to start paying attention to the noise you had blocked out


And when you dampen the voices in your head for so long
It’s like standing in front of every person on earth when you finally lift that screen


And all they are doing is shouting at you with indiscernible voices
Now you have to turn that into a feeling of warmth engulfing you


All I can manage to create, though, is the unbearable heat of hell
Created from the thousands of voices speaking all at once


How am I supposed to do this without going crazy?

I FUCKING MET CHRISTINE AND ELIJAH AND I GAVE CHRISTINE A BADAZZLED NYC HAT AND ELIJAH A CONDUM WITH DONALD TRUMP ON IT THAT SAYS “I’M HUUUGGEEEE” AND ELIJAH THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY HE PUT IT ON HIS STORY AND I TALKED TO THEM FOR A LITTLE WHILE IM SO FUCKING HAPPY THEY’RE THE GREATEST PEOPLE AND ELIJAH WAS SO KIND I COULD TELL CHRISTINE WASNT REALLY HERSELF AND I THINK SHE WAS JUST TIRED AND SHE HATES NYC SO ITS FINE IM JUST BEYOND THRILLED THAT I GOT TO MEET THEM AND ELIJAH ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK TO ME WE’RE NOW BEST FRIENDS THEY ARE SUCH BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS WOW

I’m Not His, I’m Yours // A Dylan O’Brien Smut

Prompt: Just prepare your eyes for some very dirty filth.

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealous!Dylan, Dominant!Dylan, Daddy!Dylan, Fingering, Orgasm Denial, Oral (female on male), Spanking, Daddy Kink, and Swearing.

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader

Word Count: 4,951

Song: Hands To Myself by Selena Gomez

A/N: THIS IS THE RESULT OF ME AND @failingmemequeen GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE FOR DADDY DYLAN O’BRIEN. SHE CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA AND TOTALLY ENCOURAGED ME TO WRITE IT SO THANK HER FOR BEING THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON THAT SHE IS. I LOVE YOU MADI DADDY AND ABSOLUTELY ENJOYED PUTTING OUR CONJOINED FANTASIES INTO ONE.

Your name: submit What is this?

Originally posted by spidermanm

“I’m gonna kill them.” Dylan complained over the phone and I laughed at his impatience.

“No, you’re not, baby.” I chuckled, coaxing him the best I could. “It’s just one more day ‘till the weekend. You can survive this, I know it.”

“I swear to God, if either one of them annoys me one more time-”

“Then, I’ll destroy them myself.” I answered and Dylan let out a deep breath.

“I have to go, but I don’t want to hang up on you.” My boyfriend groaned over the line. “Can we just stay on the phone for the rest of the day?”

“No, Dylan.” I laughed and I could tell the sound alone made him feel a little more at ease. “We have to be responsible here. But, tell you what, when it’s time for your next break we can Skype call. What do you think?”

“I think that you’re the best girlfriend a guy could ask for and I love you very much.” Dylan swooned and I could practically hear the smile in his voice.

“I love you, too.” I responded, smiling as well. “Now go, I don’t want you getting fired.”

“They can’t fire me, it’s the last season!” Dylan laughed wholeheartedly and I laughed along with him.

That’s what our relationship mostly consisted of: smiling, laughing, fun, and heart eyes. Even though Dylan has been beyond stressed lately because of everything that’s happened in the course of the past two years, we never fail to make each other happy. Things have been very intense for him ever since the accident that shall not be mentioned. Shooting The Death Cure had to be pushed back to this year, Dylan had to stay home for six months and try to avoid paparazzi harassment at all times, he needed to physically train for American Assassin and completely go against his doctor’s recommendations, deal with crazy fans that literally sent him death threats when they found out he wouldn’t be in all of season 6B for Teen Wolf, and even manage to audition for future projects to top it all off. Stress has been very imminent in Dylan’s life and I always felt like it was my job to make him feel better.

Which is why, being the amazing girlfriend I am, I wasn’t going to just Skype call him. I was going to personally go over to his work and give him a fun little surprise.

With excitement running through my veins, I jumped up from my position on our bed together and immediately ran to the bathroom for a shower. Dylan’s next break should be in about an hour, considering he doesn’t have a lot of scenes to shoot this year, so I knew I had to get ready quick.

Once I was out of the shower, I put on Dylan’s favorite red lingerie and took a good look in the mirror. The way the strong red color contradicted with my skin tone will definitely drive him crazy and I can already feel myself getting wet at the thought alone. I didn’t even bother putting on any pants because I knew I wouldn’t really need them and, instead, I picked up the t-shirt Dylan used to sleep from our messy med and slipped it on. Bringing the fabric up to my nose, I took a deep breath and glady breathed in his incredible smell. Sure, I see him everyday but I can’t help feeling addictive and always needed more of him.

Putting on makeup right now just to see Dylan would be useless considering he was going to smudge it up anyway. Therefore, with a smile om my face and exhilaration running through my veins, I put on my black stillettos and grabbed my car keys to head for the Teen Wolf lot. It didn’t take too long to get there and, in a matter of fifteen minutes, I was already greeting Phil the security guard as he let me pass the barrier and enter the studio.

The first thing I did was park my car in an area Dylan would never spot and, then, gladly entered his trailer. Since Dylan hasn’t been in the greatest mood lately, I knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to stick around on set in between scenes like he usually does. From what he told me on the phone, Cody and Sprayberry have been driving him crazy all week and he’s definitely going to want as much distance as possible. Which is where I come in and make him feel all kinds of good before returning to work for the rest of the day.

Having patiently waited for Dylan, laid on his pull-out bed, I immediately jumped up and fixed myself to look sexier the moment the door to his trailer flew open. The look of surprise and immediate lust in Dylan’s eyes when he entered, instantly, made desire crash down on my body. I already knew that I would be putty in his hands in a matter of seconds. Without even saying anything, Dylan just slowly closed the door behind him and took off his sneakers as he licked his lips in anticipation.

“Do you have any idea how good you look just wearing my shirt on?” Dylan questioned, his eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“Do you have any idea how much better I’ll look once you take it off?” I teased, smirking up at him.

My words definitely sparked something in him because Dylan instantly jumped on me, the intense sexual tension in the air an incredible influence on him. I giggled at his excitement and his lips were quickly on mine as my fingers instinctively ran through his hair. I smiled when Dylan’s tongue slid across my bottom lip, already asking for an entrance, and I didn’t think twice before opening my mouth for him. He allowed me to call the shots and would moan everytime I played with his tongue skillfully.

When we both needed to breathe again, Dylan detached his lips from mine and gently caressed my cheeks with his soft hands. His eyes gazed into mine with such emotion and care that a blush immediately made its way on my skin. Dylan never failed to make me feel special and I adored how intimate our relationship was. I always thought that intimacy was about allowing someone to touch you, but it’s so much more. Intimacy is someone who touches you beyond just the physical contact because they find a way to your soul. Intimacy is who you text at four in the morning to share your biggest fears and dreams. Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.

“I love you.” Dylan whispered before pulling off his shirt I was wearing and placing a gentle kiss on my mouth.

The moment he realized I had put on his favorite lingerie set, Dylan couldn’t hold back the immediate moan that fell from his pink lips. His eyes raked my entire body and I felt his cock slightly twitch against my thigh, through his red crimson pants he wore for Stiles’ character. Standing up from the the pull-out bed, Dylan began unbuckling his belt.

Suddenly, the door to his trailer immediately flew open and the both of us froze in absolute shock. I didn’t even have the thought in me to cover myself up with something, anything, before the intruders invaded Dylan’s safe space.

“Hey, Dyl, are you trying to hide from us?” Sprayberry immediately hollered when he and Cody were inside, both instantly stopping in their tracks once they noticed their co-worker wasn’t alone. “Oh, my God!”

“What the hell are you guys doing here?!” Dylan shouted angrily, the veins on his neck bulging against his skin.

Well, looks like someone’s stress is officially back.

“W-We, uh, W-We,” Sprayberry stuttered trying to answer, but was too astonished to form an actual sentence.

Much like Dylan did just moments ago, Cody’s eyes raked my entire body and, by the way he was biting down on his bottom lip, he definitely seemed to like what he saw. Before I could even do anything, Dylan jumped back on the bed and instinctively covered my body with his. Embarrassment and uncomfort took over my emotions as my boyfriend protected me, shielding my body from unwelcome eyes.

“Get! Out!” Dylan yelled, his Alpha male side appearing now that someone glanced at his female without his permission. “NOW!”

Sprayberry was the first to immediately sprint into action, forcefully pulling Cody out the door with him and literally having to tear his gaze off of my body. I let out a nervous breath I didn’t even know I was holding in the second the door sounded shut and the two actors were finally out of the trailer.

“Damn, it’s a good thing I wasn’t naked yet, right?” I chuckled nervously, trying to make the best out of this situation. However, it was no use. Dylan was furious and no longer in the light-hearted mood like before.

“He was totally eye-fucking you and that’s what concerns you the most?” Dylan scolded and even though he was angry, my entire body filled with desire.

Dylan’s usually very sweet, but every now and then he goes completely dominant and it’s the sexiest fucking thing ever. The way he pulls my hair as he forcefully pounds into me or roughly spanks me just because I went against one of his many commands always had me on the edge.

“You’re right.” I smiled innocently, looking up at him as he noticed the tension change in the room. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

The flicker in his eyes immediately went from rage to complete and utter lust the second I let the kinky title he loves so damn much come out of my mouth. The warm and golden-brown color once in his eyes was replaced with a dark black, his pupils now dilated to the maximum. Dylan’s bulge pressed against his pants and  I couldn’t take my eyes off of it, knowing exactly what stood beneath the fabric. Although he wasn’t the only one turned on beyond comprehension as arousal pooled uncomfortably in my panties and I desperately wanted them off of me.

Reaching my hand down to my panties to get rid of it, Dylan’s hand suddenly gripped my wrist and stopped me from moving any further.

“Did I say you could do anything yet?” Dylan questioned.

I gulped and slowly shook my head, his eyes focusing on my lip when I bit down on it. He let go of me without another word, but it didn’t even feel like he did because of his addictive touch still lingering on my skin. Dylan stood up and walked over to the door, locking it as he licked his lips with his eyes trailing over my body.

“Take off your bra.” He commanded, walking back over but not sitting down.

“What?” I asked as I watched him take off his shirt, the sight of his impressive form stunning me.

“Ah, ah, ah, babygirl. You know the rules.” Dylan tsked, shaking his head as he unbuckled his belt like before and opened his pants. “Only speak when I give you the permission to.”

Heat rushed throughout my entire body until it landed with full force in my core. Dylan and I had this little game whenever he was dominant and it was one of my favorite fucking things. The game was simple, but absolutely drove me crazy: Dylan would give me three chances and if I strike out every single one of them, he had no other choice than to punish me.

“Strike one.” Dylan stated, a smirk playing on my lips with what he said next. “And I know you just heard what I demanded.”

At the same time that I reached behind my own back to unclasp my bra, Dylan dropped his pants. His erection pressed hard against his boxers, the gray fabric slightly wet from his arousal. When both of us finished taking off our pieces of clothing, Dylan’s eyes were already glued onto my now exposed perky breasts.

“Now your panties.”

My boyfriend and I pulled both of our underwear off our bodies, watching the other intently. As soon as we were free of clothing and completely exposed to each other, Dylan grabbed himself in his hand and stroked his shaft slowly. The sight of Dylan pumping himself as his eyes gazed on my body turned me on in ways that I can’t even explain.

“Touch yourself, babygirl.” He commanded, my mind melting at his husky voice.

Following his orders, I sat up straight on the bed and spread apart by legs for him to have a full view which made him moan in response. I brought my hand down to my already soaking core and gently slid my finger through my folds, separating them. Slowly rubbing small circles against my clitoris, I couldn’t help but let out a moan. I watched as Dylan used his thumb to caress his tip and I desperately wanted it in my mouth, but I knew that I had to follow his order or else I’d be punished. However, being punished by him does sound very inviting.

Using my other hand to pinch my nipples and tease not only myself but also Dylan, I noticed his grip tighten around his member. Dylan let out an unsatisfied groan when I took my hand away from my breast, but then immediately moaned when I used it to push a finger inside my heat. My back instantly arched and I let out a whimper at the feeling, provoking him to pick up his pace around himself.

“You look so beautiful pleasuring yourself, princess.” Dylan grunted as I moved faster along with him.

Of course I knew how to work myself and make my body feel good, but there’s no denying that Dylan is so much better at it. The way his long and skillfull fingers knowingly curl up inside of me in such a perfect way that not even I knew how to do or the way his sinful tongue flicks expertly against my nub has me wishing that he would just jump on top of me already. But, if there’s one thing Dylan O'Brien certainly loves being is a fucking tease.

“Fuck, baby. Even though this feels good, nothing compares to your beautiful lips and warm mouth wrapped around my cock.” He moaned as my body craved for his touch. “Stop what your doing and come kneel in front of me.”

An exciting idea roared to life in me when I decided to ignore Dylan’s command and willingly get my next strike. I tuned out whatever he had to say and focused on the incredible feeling of my finger pumping inside of me purely to spite him. Which definitely worked because in a matter of seconds I could hear Dylan growling and approaching me. I, suddenly, felt his hands rip mine away from my body and forcefully pull me into him, our naked bodies against each other as we stood.

“Strike two.” He warned through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching and looking sexy as ever.

Before I even knew it, Dylan pushed me down to kneel in front of him and harshly grabbed onto my hair with his hands. Bringing my own hands up, I held onto his thigh with one hand and wrapped around his base with the other. I smirked at Dylan as I licked my lips and gawked at the delicious sight in front of me. I gladly took Dylan’s tip inside of my mouth and he immediately moaned when I did. The first thing my tongue came into contact with was his precum and I can’t deny that I love the salty taste. As I gently sucked his head, my hand began to slowly pump his dick.

One of the many things I love about Dylan is that he’s very responsive and isn’t ashamed in letting me know exactly what he liked. Which is why I already knew that one of his favorite things I do when I give him a blowjob is lick his prominent vein on the underside of his cock at the same time that I very lightly and very carefully graze my teeth against his topside. Dylan let out a throaty groan the second I did exactly that and it seemed to light a fire in him because he immediately took control.

My boyfriend pushed himself fully into my mouth until he was hitting the back of my throat and I was gagging around him, only for him to pull away and do the exact same thing again. Dylan was happily fucking my mouth and, to be honest, I didn’t even mind it. The lust was so far deep in my blood that all I could focus on was how sexy he looked as he practically used me as a fuck toy and how damn good he tasted.

I hollowed my mouth around him to create a much tighter environment for him and the filthy sounds of his shameless moans erupting from his chest made my core ache more than it already had. Due to the fast pace and my wet mouth, it didn’t take long for Dylan to reach his much needed release. I hummed when he unloaded and his hot cum shot straight down my throat, his hips bucking in response.

Once Dylan came down from his high, I pulled him out of my mouth and he shuddered at the contact due to how sensitive he’d become. Wiping away the spit on my mouth and any cum spilling down my chin, I stood up with a smirk on my lips and Dylan immediately kissed me. His dominance faltering for the slightest second so he could show me how much he cared for me through the gentle action. However, the moment we parted, dominant Dylan was back.

“Can you sit on the chair for me, babygirl?” He pointed to the chair under his desk he uses to study his lines as he headed over to the small closet.

“Yes, Daddy.” I obeyed because both of us knew that even though he asked, it wasn’t actually a question.

My eyes widened immediately when I noticed just what he grabbed from the closet and Dylan approached me with an intense grin on his lips. I wanted to desperately ask him why the hell he had that in his trailer or what he thinks he’s about to do to me with it, but I knew that that wouldn’t be the greatest idea.

“It’s not mine.” Dylan defended himself when he obviously saw my shocked facial expression at the metal handcuffs in his hands. “It’s Stiles’, but I don’t see why we can’t have our own little fun with it. What do you think?”

“Well, I know for a fact Stiles and Lydia have a lot of kinky sex with handcuffs.” I smirked, reaching my arms behind the back of the chair for him to lock them there. “So, I say we should also give it a shot, Daddy.”

“That’s my girl.” Dylan smiled, placing the cold metal around my wrists to lock them behind me.

The next thing my boyfriend did was push my legs apart so I was completely opened for him in a way that felt so dirty and exposing but I loved nonetheless. Dylan’s lips instantly wrapped around one of my breasts, already biting down on my nipple, and I whimpered when I couldn’t grip his hair with my fingers. As he teasingly worked on my breast, Dylan brought a hand up to my core and my hips instinctively bucked the second his middle finger rubbed against my sensitive nub. He started slow at first but as soon as he knew I was ready for more, Dylan picked up his middle finger’s pace and, using his other hand, he slid one of his long fingers inside of me.

I couldn’t hold back my moan at the incredible feeling, considering my body had been craving it for the longest time now, and the first finger was immediately followed by a second. I absolutely loved how much Dylan understood my body and exactly what it needed which is why I was already getting close to my release in a matter of minutes. His skillful fingers curled inside of me and pumped with such fervor that I didn’t have any ounce of self control in me anymore. I knew I was about to reach my edge and, much to my dismay, so did Dylan.

“Not yet, princess.” He teased and I whined when he removed his fingers from my soaking wet heat. “You only get to cum when I say so. And I want it to happen around my cock.”

After seeing me completely opened for him and a moaning mess just because of his fingers, Dylan’s erection was already back up and ready for more action. Precum glistened on his tip and even though I did give him head only a few moments ago, I already wanted to do it all over again. What can I say? The man has a delicious dick.

Dylan was pumping himself a little bit as he watched my chest rise and fall from my rapid breathing before grabbing my feet and hitching them up on the chair. He pulled my waist towards the edge of the seat, making me lay down since I still was locked to the back of the chair, and Dylan positioned himself in front of my entrance. Without even giving me a warning, he instantly slammed inside of me and my entire body arched at the invasive act. He waited a few seconds for me to adjust and when I sort of did, Dylan began roughly thrusting into me.

“Fuck, babygirl, you’re always so tight.” Dylan moaned, his face snuggled into my slightly sweaty neck.

The pleasurable feeling of his thick width stretching my tight walls as he pounded in me, quite deeply considering how the position we were in favored his ability to be completely buried inside of me, sparked the orgasm I was so close to reach that Dylan denied up to the surface again. I clenched around him once and he growled against my skin, my entire body vibrating with the sound.

“Don’t cum yet.” He demanded and I whimpered.

Even though I tried to hold it back, I clenched around him once more and this time Dylan immediately brought his face up to glare at me. We were so close that I could feel his breath brushing across my skin and, yet, all I could focus on was the bound knot in my stomach ready to break free any minute now. The thought of going against Dylan’s commands was both terrifying and exciting and, to be honest, I didn’t know which one attracted me more.

“Don’t you dare.” Dylan threatened, bringing one of his hands up to forcefully pull my hair and make me look him straight in the eyes. “I’m serious. Promise Daddy you won’t cum until I allow it.”

“I-I promise, Daddy.” I managed to say through moans. However the second his cock twitched inside of me when I said his favorite nickname, I was long gone and there was no way going back.

My entire body shook, my toes curled against the chair and uncontrollable shouts erupted from my chest as one of the greatest orgasms I’ve ever experienced bolted through my veins. I could feel my core clenching around Dylan’s shaft at the same time that it released all of my pent-up arousal and gushed onto him. I screamed so loudly that I was certain everyone on the Teen Wolf lot heard me and I was also sure that despite not following his orders, Dylan was loving the way I was a mess. Everyone including Sprayberry and Cody knew that the person who just made this young woman scream so much in pleasure was Dylan and that it didn’t even matter how badly they might have wanted her, she was his.

My own release triggered Dylan’s and as I was coming down from my intense high, my boyfriend was reaching his. Dylan’s cock twitched before cumming for the second time today and shooting his liquid inside of me, the incredible feeling of his hot cum running against my walls making me moan. The sound of Dylan’s own moans echoed through the trailer and I watched in awe as his face contorted in pure pleasure. He held onto the edges of the chair tightly, his muscles straining against his arms as he shook.

“Strike three.” Dylan managed to say through his husky and breathless voice once he came down from his high.

The sweet taste of adrenaline rushed though all of my veins and my heartbeat pounded so hard it pulsed inside of my ears the second Dylan said those two simple words. A mixture of concern and lust flooded inside of me and I didn’t quite know which one was stronger.

Dylan slowly slid out of my body, his eyes staring into mine the entire time, and I winced at how sensitive I’ve become. Going back over to the closet, Dylan pulled out a small key and walked over to me again. He hovered over my body, his incredible smell filling my nose, and unlocked the metal cuffs on my hands. They immediately dropped to the floor with a clang and Dylan didn’t even seem to care. Putting the key down on his desk, Dylan stood up straight in front of me.

“Let me ask you a question, princess.” He husked. “Do you think you’re a good girl?”

“Yes, Daddy.” I answered, bringing my hands over to settle on my lap. “I do.”

“Hmm, well, I happen to think you’re very very naughty.” Dylan murmured. “And do you know what happens to naughty girls, baby? They get spanked.”

Before I could even put together what was about to happen, Dylan harshly grabbed me and made me stand. My boyfriend pushed me down onto the desk, my ass sticking out for him, and he stuck his leg between mine to keep them apart. He slowly began to caress one of my cheeks with the palm of his hand and goosebumps covered my entire body.

“How many should I give you, babygirl?” Dylan teased. “Does ten sound good?”

“N-No, that’s too much.” I stuttered.

“Okay, then, ten it is.” He chuckled darkly and I mentally prepared myself for what was about to come. “Count for me, princess.”

Suddenly, Dylan lifted his hand and roughly slammed it back down on my ass cheek. The intense pain immediately making my hips bucker in response. The ache and pleasure shooting through me and landed straight in the bottom of my stomach, sparking the creation of a familiar knot.

“O-One.” I whimpered and, as soon as I finished speaking, Dylan spanked my same cheek again. “T-Two.”

He repeatedly smacked my right cheek five times in a row, my skin aching intensely with every hit. Everytime he would slap me, the knot inside of my stomach would become tighter and tighter. I knew that by the time he finished spanking me all ten times, that knot would break and I would be orgasming for the second time in this trailer. I was already a shaking, moaning and whimpering mess in his hands and, as embarrassing as it was to be so vulnerable to someone, I couldn’t care less.

Dylan rubbed my right cheek for a few seconds to ease the stinging pain on my skin before moving to my left and striking my ass again without any warning. My knees were wobbling and weak and if it wasn’t for his leg holding me up, I would’ve definitely fallen down my now.

“S-Six.” I mewled, my voice only able to come out as a whisper whilst he continued his punishment on me. “Seven, Eight, Nine.”

By the tenth strike, the extremely tight knot had snapped and spread an insane amount of pleasure inside of me. My vision blurred and went white as my orgasm dissolved in my blood and bones. My body jerked against the desk, my skin digging into the wood, and arousal immediately spilled out of me and ran down Dylan’s thigh. It didn’t matter that my ass was burning in excruciating agony, the pleasure was so much more powerful.

Dylan held onto my hips as I finished reaching my edge and came back down to Earth. His fingers creating tender circles on my skin.

“You okay, baby?” He asked me and I managed to bring myself back up, with his assistance of course.

“Yes, Dylan, I am.” I turned around with a smile on my face, wrapping my arms around his neck for stability.

“I wasn’t too harsh, was I?”

“No, you were perfect.” I shook my head happily, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his lips.

“Good.” Dylan smiled, his eyes no longer dark and now back to its gentle color. “It’s just, the way Cody looked at you drove me insane and-”

“I know, baby.” I interrupted him before he could finish, caressing the back of his neck with my fingers. “But, I’m not his, I’m yours.”

Dylan smiled at me with everything he had in him and I swooned at how beautiful he was. However, not just in the way he looked or in the way that he always manages to say things that makes me fall in love with him more and more everyday. But, just in the pure way that he is.

23 Relationship Goals

1. to be loved and love them equally
2. to take stupid pictures with them
3. to be best friends like the moon and the sun
4. he gives me attention and doesn’t forget that were in a relationship
5. let’s me know his family, the crazy and the beautiful sides
6. makes me a better person
7. wants to do teenage things like watch movies and go ice skating but will also walk with me
8. listens- for those times I feel like I’m breaking at the seams
9. he’s honest
10. he isn’t ashamed of holding my hand
11. he’s respectful towards other people
12. he understands my boundaries
13. he’ll listen to my favorite songs and I’ll listen to his
14. stargazing.
15. his personality is attractive, kind, funny, willing to be himself
16. understands that I’m flawed
17. doesn’t judge other people too heavily
18. will slow dance with me :)
19. willing to be adventurous with me
20. somewhat athletic- at least able to walk with me and enjoy what life has to offer
21. remembers the important days about our relationship
22. gotta be classy
23. loves me unconditionally

Sick love

Word count: 1.722

Request: Yes

Warnings: Too much loving


“My head is pounding”, you whined and you swore it was like ten axes were inside your skull and wanted you dead in a matter of seconds. It was the worst headache you’ve ever had and you didn’t have the slightest idea why it was like that. You weren’t hangover. On the contrary, you had a blissful night in with your boyfriend, and nothing peculiar had happened for you to feel that way. So, this situation only left you with unanswered questions.

“Still bad?”, your sister asked you and you flinched at the volume of her voice. She was speaking naturally, but your headache made it feel like she was shouting at the top of her lungs.

“Please keep your voice down, you are killing me”, you said and your sister got up to touch your forehead. With that simple gesture she had her answers.

“Well, it looks like you are coming down with a cold Y/N”, she said seriously and you shivered. You hated being sick and that was the last thing you wanted. It was still summer and you would spend your days drinking that prescribed syrup along with eating those disgusting soups. Apart from that, you didn’t want to force Harry to stay in with you. He would like to go out or have a nice time at the park but he would have to take care of nauseas and fevers. It was just unfair for him.

“No this can’t be happening”, you complained and your sister placed her hands on her hips. She was trying not to laugh at your state but she didn’t do a good job at hiding it. She burst out giggling and you threw a cushion at her, hitting her directly at the head.

“I guarantee you it hurt”, your sister ironically said and she went to the kitchen. She had to leave in some minutes but she couldn’t leave you behind like that all alone. So she phoned Harry.

“Harry speakin’, who’s this?”, he said through the speaker and your sister whispered.

“Hi Harry, it’s me, Y/S/N. Just wanted to let you know that Y/N might be coming down with a cold. She already has a fever and-“, she was interrupted by you screaming that you wanted to vomit and she corrected her previous sentence.

“Scratch that. She has a fever and she has started vomiting already. I have to go in some minutes so I thought I needed to fill you in”, your sister finished and she heard shuffling at the other end of the line.

“Be right there in five. Try to calm her a bit yeah? Thank yeh Y/S/N”, he said and hung up. Your sister came into the bathroom, where you were brushing your teeth, to get rid of the ugly taste.

“Thank God mom is not here”, your sister joked and your eyes widened at her statement. Your mom overreacted over the simplest of things. When you or your sister were ill, she would just call the doctor every single hour to inform him of your condition and she made sure you had all the medicine you needed. You appreciated her caring, but it would be too much sometimes.

“Don’t even joke about it. It is unhealthy”, you wiped your mouth with the towel and followed your sister in the living room where you both sat down on the couch.

“Y/N, I really need to go. Jason wants to go pick up a gift for his mother’s birthday and I can’t miss it. Promise me you won’t go around spilling soup”, she pleaded and you flipped her off.

“I will be dead in a matter of hours so no soup is going to be all over the place”, you answered and your sister sighed. You had the tendency to overreact when you were sick and no one could handle that. Your sister included.

“Okay I am going to start preparing your funeral then”, and that had always been her answer since day one. You and your sister had a weird kind of relationship. You would go on and compliment each other but you would flip each other off whereas when you would offend each other you would hug and bro fist one another. People were always confused.

“Say hi to Jason”, you tried to say before rushing to the bathroom to empty your stomach for the second time that day.

“Be sure I will”, your sister said more to herself than to you and got into her car, ready to go meet her boyfriend. Speaking of a boyfriend, Harry was on his way and he had tried to contact you but you hadn’t used your phone that day meaning it was still turned off. When he stepped foot in the house, he stopped himself from calling your name when he saw you curled up on the sofa, tissues all over you and your restless face giving away your exhaustion and pain.

“Meh poor girl”, he said and kicked off his shoes before making his way to you. You had grabbed a blanket from your room and had it wrapped around you. You were practically like a sneezing ball. Your head perked up at the sound of the door opening and closing and when you saw Harry, you snuggled closer to the blanket.

“Don’t get closer Harry, you will be sick too”, you cried out, but your voice came out muffled because of the blanket. Harry kept coming towards you nonetheless and he kneeled in front of you.

“This isn’t gonna stop meh love. How many times have yeh run to the bathroom?”, he softly asked you and you melted at his voice. He was trying to soothe you and it worked pretty well.

“Twice so far. But there’s more coming I tell you”, you said and leaned your head backwards. You wanted to sleep and Harry quite caught that.

“Okay tell yeh what. I will go upstairs and ran yeh a bath. Yeh will relax and I will call the doctor to tell meh what to do with meh sick girl. Sounds okay?”, he said and he picked you up bridal style. You found the opportunity to lean against his warm chest and breathe in his scent. You could stay there, in his arms, for an eternity and there was no lie in this statement.

When you entered your bedroom, he gently placed you on the bed, and he disappeared in the bathroom to set the right temperature for your bath. You placed your head on your pillow and sleep started taking over when Harry reappeared from inside the bathroom and scooped you up.

“No sleep yet baby. Your bath is waitin’ fo’ yeh”, he said and placed you in front of the bathroom door.

“Yeh go in there and treat yourself whereas I talk to the doctor alright?”, he turned to leave but you stopped him. You knew it would be better if he was there to take care of you. He always did. And he was so good at it.

“Mind if I change the plans a bit?”, you innocently asked and Harry grinned.

“Tell meh babygirl”, he indicated for you to go on.

“Why don’t you take a shower with me? If there’s someone who can calm me, that’s you Harry”, you spoke and you were truthful. There was no dirty intention in your proposal. You just wanted to relax with your boyfriend.

“Thought yeh never ask”, he said and slowly took your clothes off, caressing the exposed skin he could find ever so softly, careful not make you feel any more pain. He took his clothes off as well, and got into the bathtub after you. You sat between his legs and he stated kissing your back and neck, in a soothing manner, knowing you would feel slightly better. And he was right. The water was perfect and Harry tried his best to take your mind of off your sickness. He grabbed the shampoo and started massaging your scalp in an attempt to calm you.

“Just what I needed. Thank you so much love”, you said and closed your eyes, cherishing the feeling of Harry’s massaging skills. You started scrubbing your body and Harry snatched the sponge from your hands.

“Nah ah. I will take care of yeh baby. Don’t yeh worry”, he said, kissing your shoulder before he replaced some gel on the sponge. The water was running by now, and you were lost in the purity of the moment. Harry always wanted to make you feel good and he always said it was like a repayment for what you had done for him all along. After some time, he water had run cold so he took hold of your towel before wrapping it lovingly around your tired frame before he did the same with his towel on him.

“Time fo’ pyjamas babe”, he smiled lazily and he moved towards the closet, grabbing an old T-shirt of his and your favourite bottoms with little bears imprinted on them. You had worn your undergarments already and you were waiting for your pyjamas to be passed to you but Harry had other plans.

“Let meh”, he stroked your arms, while he placed your arms in front of you and put the shirt on you. He then, stroked your thighs and legs gently, like you were going to disappear or like you were the most fragile thing in the entire world. He made you feel loved. There was no denying in that. When he was done, he kissed you passionately but you distanced yourself.

“Harry, I am sick!”, you said and he smiled.

“Did that stop meh back in the shower? Don’t mind meh love. I am not that sensitive like yeh are”, he said and you tugged at his shirt.

“If that’s the case, cuddle me then”, you said and yawned. Harry placed himself on the bed and you hugged him tightly, while he played with your hair; just like you preferred it.

“I love you Harry”, you suddenly said and Harry smiled in your hair.

“I love meh sick girl too”.

And just like that, you fell asleep, feeling secure in his embrace and wishing that you could freeze time and stay like that for what seemed like forever; in each others’ loving arms.


Ugh guys, this is so sweet. Where has Harry been all the times I was ill? Before I drag my whining ass away, let me thank that person for requesting this and making me die in the most gentle way possible. Requests are still open and I am waiting for your crazy ideas people! (P.S. Harry is treating us so well lately I can’t bear it!)

giggledroid  asked:

So I know Sanzu is based off of Stitch and everything, but I am curious about something. How did Stitch inspire you to make Sanzu? (And did you start making an au to fit around him? X3)

OH ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵍᵒᶫᶫʸ ᵍᵒᵒᵈᶰᵉˢˢ 🌀WELL, MY DARLING GIGGLE🌀

⚠️ᵂᴬᴿᴺᴵᴺᴳ ᴬᴺᶜᴵᴱᴺᵀ ᴬᴿᵀ ᴬᴴᴱᴬᴰ⚠️

Sanzu’s personality was more based on multiple characters I like such as Stitch, Spike from the Good Dinosaur, Zuko from AtLA, and this development actually came post his design.

When I first started designing him, @blesstale and I were shooting off random ideas about “OH, WHAT IF THERE WAS A PIRATE AU…” of which encouraged us to draw up multiple concepts surrounding pirate-themed UT guys.


However, I got rambunctious💦 and started coming up with concepts that was too far outside of what would make sense in this alternate UT universe, such as making Asriel alive and well, healed from his 🌼Flowey🌼 form and dicking around the ship as an understudy to CAPTAIN UNDYNE💪 or something.

I understood entirely that making an ✨official AU✨ to a pre-existing story meant there should be restrictions, but I couldn’t help feeling bummed out about it.💧

💥So.

The only reason I made Sanzu was so I could have 🇺🇸total freedom with the design and personality of a crazy character.

This was where I started putting together concepts for pirate Sans,⚓️

Then, he split like a 🍌banana-

-and made the thing I can be reckless with.

✏️ Sanzu’s design is based on 💙Raziel from Soul Reaver.💚

ᴵ ᶜᵃᶰ ᑫᵘᵒᵗᵉ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸ ᶜᵘᵗˢᶜᵉᶰᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵍᵃᵐᵉ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵖᶦᵗᵗᶦᶰ ᶠᶦʳᵉ

I grew up with this game, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that nearly every time I pick up my pen, I think of this while I draw anything. 🔥✏️🔥

PLL finale positives

I’m seeing a lot of negativity on my TL at the moment and I know this finale was not as good as we deserve after all these years and that it did not answer everything, but I would hate for us to leave the show angry and upset so I decided to make a list of the things I liked about the finale. Feel free to add to this!

1. Twincer: I really loved Alex’s (or twincer as I prefer to call her) personality and character. She was a true psychopath and I loved it. Yes, the accent was horrendous but Troian nailed it. I loved the crazy in her eyes, the hilarious mimicking, how she went so far and was so heartless and cold blooded and how at the end she truly believed she was spencer. 

2. MONA DIDN’T DIE. IM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

3. Wren was truly involved and it made sense! I feel like this was a nod to the wren theorists and the wrencer shippers so that was pretty nice.

4. I liked the fact that we knew about twincer and the liars didn’t. Made it really suspenseful.

5. Twincer and cece’s relationship was sincere, she really loved her and you can tell

6. I still don’t understand who’s side mary is on but I love her either way 

7. The ending scene was wonderful, so very mona.

8. ITS THE LAST EPISODE!!! we need not suffer no more

[LYRICS] (ENG TRANS) Outro: Her

the world is a complex
we was lookin’ for love
I too used to be that kind of person too
I didn’t believe what real love is
I used to say habitually that I want to love

but I found myself
the whole new myself
I’m confused too, which one is really me
I met you and did I realise that I’m a book
or did you turn the page
anyway I want to be the best man for you
it’s probably natural because you are my world itself
I would become what you want, God I swore to myself

so many complex
but I’m lookin’ for love
I can be a fake self as long as you embrace me
you are my beginning and the end itself
will you finish me

all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear
all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear

maybe you are my truth and the lie
maybe I’m your love and hate
maybe I’m your enemy and friend
you’re heaven and hell, sometimes pride and suffering
I can never take off this mask
because, within this mask, I am not the guy that you know
again today, I make up to wake up
and dress up to mask on
so that I can become the me that you love
so that I can become the guy that you love
I quit XX which i used to enjoy very much
just for you
even the clothes I hate and too much makeup
your laughter and happiness decide my own happiness
do I deserve to be loved by you when I’m this way
I always try my best to be the best for you
I hope that you don’t know this side of me

all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear
all of my wonder
the answer to that
i call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear

like always, mask on
greeting me with joy, her
your star, it shines for no particular reason
the moment it’s supposed to shine the brightest, I take the mask off
lost star I put down my baggage and enjoy the darkness
there’s no spotlight that’s shining me to death aye
just see where the heart goes
where the feeling goes, where it doesn’t grab me
tick tock the dark is over

so that I can be your best again
I hold on to myself
love makes a person go crazy
yeah the determination of a madman
I substitute myself into the method that’s most like myself
I give you the solution I came to for you, my everything

you love it
I do my best because of it
because of your presence, the night finds new meaning and shines bright
I know now that when even when the darkness ends
you are my morning
you woke me up

all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear
all of my wonder
the answer to that
I call you her, her
cuz you’re my tear, tear

trans by Kai @ bangtan tumblr do not take out or repost without permission.

Something Worth While

The Samwell legacy is continued when Jack and Bitty’s son attends Samwell University after a horrible accident, in hopes their son will find something worth while like Jack did all those years ago. A tale of stolen recipes, fire extinguishers, and of course- the SMH feud with the lacrosse team

(Angsty and containing a character with bipolar disorder.)

*******************************

It was a frat house, and not even a good one. It looked about one hundred years old, the steps creaked with the horrifying idea of collapsing under each step, and the yard contained rusty old lawn chairs. Even if Jeremy Zimmermann did go to college, he would definitely not live in a frat house that looks like this.

“You cannot be serious.” Jeremy hisses, hitching his bag higher on his shoulder, but not turning around to face his parents.

“One-hundred percent serious, honey.” His Dad says, and the passive-aggressive southern hitch to his voice makes Jeremy to shut up about his current position.

“Why can’t I just live in a dorm or something?” Jeremy tries a different approach, finally turning around and looking at his Papa, specifically not his other dad. You would think Jack Zimmermann, NHL superstar, would be the hard ass. 

“Because this is better.” His Papa shifts his feet from side to side, looking extremely nervous. Either because his son was about to live in a death trap, or because he would be forced to go to Samwell, Jeremy didn’t know.

“We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think it was best.” His Papa adds, and his hopeful and still worried eyes broke Jeremy’s heart a little than it already has, because he always hated disappointing his parents and goddamn did he screw up this time.

“I’m an adult. You can’t force me to stay here.” Jeremy argues, and he sees his older sister bristle a little from behind their dad.

“You sure ain’t actin’ like an adult, Jeremy.” His Dad pipes in, his voice more firm. “And you’re right, we can’t keep you here. But you told us in the hospital you wanted our help and that you were trying to get better, but you felt alone. And honey, we never wanted you to feel like that. Ever” His Dad takes a deep breath, and his tone holds no malice. Just a tremor of fear for what their son was going through. This was Jack’s idea after all.

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