i feel i blocked it from my mind


The minute he enters your room, Charles notices a definite change in the atmosphere. He can’t tell if it’s good or bad. “(y/n)?”

“In here,” your voice calls from the bathroom. Charles follows your voice to see you standing at the counter, brushing your hair. He smiles at you fondly and leans in the doorway.

That’s when he notices it. Notices what’s different.

You aren’t blocking him from your mind today. After a year of knowing each other, (y/n) finally trusts him enough to let him in.

“I can feel you in my mind, Charles,” you say softly but not accusingly, turning to face the man.

His face reddens slightly. “Sorry. I won’t if-”

“No,” you cut him off. “It’s okay. I want you to look. Well I don’t exactly want you to, but…you can.” You step forward and take his hand in yours. “I trust you.”

The corner of his mouth twitches up in a smile, and he brings his hand up to cup your cheek. “Are you sure?” At your nod, he moves his hand up instead so his fingers are on your temple. You watch as his eyes flutter shut, and you close yours too.

He sees your childhood: You running from bullies in the school yard, and then a teenage you running away from an abusive foster home. He sees you being beat on the streets of Chicago, begging for food on the street sides and giving blankets to other homeless that you found.

You, alone, cold, and scared, trying to learn to harness your telekinesis in the dead of winter.

But then it’s like all of the negativity washes away.

The hues from the scenes shift from dark to light when Charles finds you on the street, comforting you and talking to you in a way that immediately makes you trust him. Flash through your rehabilitation to full health at the academy, scenes of you and Charles working and walking through the grounds together. So many scenes of you and him together.

When he opens his eyes, it’s to see your beautiful (e/c) ones staring back into his. “(y/n)-”

You cut him off by tilting your head up and pressing your lips to his. He freezes in shock, and after a second or two of him not kissing back, you pull away abruptly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-”

Now it’s his turn to cut you off by taking your hand and pulling you back into him, kissing you passionately. You sink into his warm embrace as he strokes your hair, and you wrap your arms around his shoulders. He pulls away first for air, and you open your eyes to see him smiling at you.

“I’m glad you let me in today.”

Chamber of Secrets - Part 18

Originally posted by annutystan

Pairing: Bucky x Reader 

Summary: After the Avenger’s falling out, you were put in charge of putting Bucky together. Under King T’Challa’s orders, you were given a month’s time to create a new arm while simultaneously figure out how to get the triggering memories of his past out of his mind. As the time goes by, you found yourself confiding in him, despite his frozen state.

A/N: I know I’ve been the worst in updating but I finally broke free from the massive block that had me frustrated for weeks, it’s not my best but I’m trying to get my groove back on so please feedbacks are greatly appreciated! 

Previous Part 

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  • Godric: So, I think everyone should explain briefly why they chose their house colour. Helga, do you want to go first?
  • Helga: Well, I wanted my students to look forward to learning in a happy and safe environment and yellow seemed to be the perfect colour for that. It's bright and cheerful.
  • Rowena: For me blue symbolises a clear and well structured mind. There are no clouds blocking it and hindering the student from using their full potential, just a clear blue sky.
  • Godric: Okay, that's interesting. I chose red because it's the colour of war. Life is full of battles, small and big ones and I want my students to feel like they are ready for whatever might come at any time. What about you, Salazar?
  • Salazar: ...
  • Salazar: I look hot as fuck in green.

something I’ve been thinking abt recently is how u can’t control bad things from happening to u or how people behave towards u but the only thing u actually can control is how you react to the things around u… lyf sux and I can’t change that I have to study and work and be a functional human being that’s the external but in my mind I can think about whatever I want and block tedious daily routine out and I can choose what I want to enter into my consciousness. maybe it’s just an illusion of control but I think the external world never really has to interact and touch on ur private internal self, u can keep the internal locked away forever and completely detach your mind from your body and existence and I rly like that it feels like invincibility

This is a love letter for someone who don’t know me at all. I wish I could see how stunningly beautiful you are today. I wish to see you somewhere in an unexpected time. When we’re both slowly walking and treasuring each and everything that surrounds us. I wish to hear how wonderful your day was and what makes it even more special. I wish you can tell me all the things that bother your mind.

This is an apologetic letter for someone who don’t know me at all. I’m sorry I couldn’t go there and give you a tight hug and tell you that everything is going to be alright. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to block your way and smile at you and make the corniest joke that’ll make your stomach ache from laughter. I’m sorry if my words can’t lessen the pain you’re feeling right now. I’m sorry that some people doesn’t feel sorry at all—for the bad things that they have done to you. I’m sorry if there were no stars and moon tonight. I’m sorry if life is hard and the world seems to suffocate you.

This is a gratitude letter for someone who don’t know me at all. Thank you for being there when no one else seems to pay attention at everything I wrote. Thank you for listening to each and every little words I say. Thank you for not giving up on life and for doing everything you can just to reach all of your dreams. Thank you for saying “hi” and “hello”. Thank you for asking me if everything’s fine and if life’s kind to me. Thank you for breathing and existing in this world. I just wanted to say thank you so much for being so special and unique, that you give another meaning to the life that I am living. I am so thankful and glad that you’re still fighting and you’re proving that you’re brave enough to hold on. You’re strong enough to keep moving on.

—  ma.c.a // A Letter For You

anonymous asked:

do you block everyone who disagrees with you?

fuck yeah! no one gets to demand my attention. i am not required to interact with anyone i don’t feel comfortable with. i block people who agree with me, too. i block anyone who i deem a waste of my time, people who come for my friends, people who are still in their introduction to white feminism101 phase, and a lot more people than just that honestly. life is too short to listen to people trying to argue whether or not i should be allowed to exist without harassment. life is too short to spend time with people who have clearly already made up their minds. if they want to learn how to better interact with people, they’ll have to learn from someone else.

Art things I wish I knew earlier #7

Sometimes to get better at art is to get away from art!

Things like watching movies, playing video games, and even reading books will jumpstart your creativity. You will have more things to draw from your mind. I noticed this recently, as I am currently in a creative block. So I stepped away and been playing some games (POKEMON SUN :D) and really enjoy the scenery and props.

Later on, when you get back to your sketchbook or canvas… You’ll have some cool experiences to share. Also living life, thinking about your individual experience. What unique things happened(or happening) to you?

Some of my recent art is more of my personal expressions and display my processing of emotions. Maybe you can try to put your feelings into your art too.

Also, if you force yourself to draw, it’s gonna look forced. You will recycle ideas and it won’t be as exciting as if you drew when you are inspired!

Anyway, hope this helps with anyone stuck with no ideas or feeling uninspired.

Don’t use this as a excuse not to draw at all though. ;)

btw.. I was blown away by the amount of positive feedback on ATIWIKE #6. O_O (https://dusphite.tumblr.com/post/153043267872/art-things-i-wish-i-knew-earlier-6Thank you for your support! And have a awesome thanksgiving!

The Story So Far

know its been a while
but I will not fake this stupid smile
‘cause you robbed me, fed me the line
Your bounty was me took all you could see
And worked just side by side
The trust and love we’d abide
Until you left home thrust with the tide
And put this hate back inside my eyes

Are you blocking all the things
that have to do with me?
Is it easier now, do you feel any release?
Tell me how you fit in
and where do you begin?
Do you toast when they toast?
Do you sin when they sin?

Stepped through your place
Lust in my eyes toyed with deceit
Planted your lies
Play it off well, say that I’m fine
Do I hold that small space in your mind?
Stuck in your web flailing my arms
Trying to break loose from your charm
Split up your mind do you some harm
No stranger to harm

How can I see anyone anymore?
And how can I feel anything anymore?

It’s a toxic thing to miss one such as you
To reminisce on the days of old
Let a mind wander and suddenly you’ll see
There’s no controlling the directions you follow
Am I terrible for craving the colors of your mind
While trying to block out the gray?
Shall I ever know
Or will it be so
That today is just the same as yesterday
Magic Fireball FX process

Tutorials are not something I normally do, but felt to save up my steps on doing the effects on this one! :)

1.- First, I start blocking out the general feel and shape of the magic effect. For this one, I wanted to do a blobby shape you’d see on a lava lamp…meaning that I’ll stay as much as I can with a round shape. I also start thinking of timing here. Lava lamps are way slower in real life would take away from the “fireball” im looking for, so obviously I’m doing more of a Fire timing here.

Keep in mind to keep it super lose here! This took me around 5-10 minutes. Just make sure the general idea is in here. Don’t sweat it too much :)

2.- I clean up the super rough shapes and push them into more distinct/interesting shapes. I still keep things relatively rough at this stage though. 

3.- Once I start feeling good about the timing and shape, I start adding inbetweens. This can be a little tricky to do because sometimes there’s too much stuff going on and it’s hard to keep up. Something that works for me well is to not rely on the onion skin so much. Go back and forth frames and start drawing things in. (Use the < and > arrows to flip threw frames!).

4.- Once the inbetweens are done I flatten down the frames to a solid color and start thinking a bit more in volume. At this stage any mistakes will become more apparent and it’s here where I clean it up a bit more.

5.- In this stage I start putting in some effects.

I bevel the whole thing with yellow on the top edges and purple on the bottom edges.

I also duplicate the animation, Blurred it in the Y axis to make it look smokey on the back. I also blurred the main animation to 5 pixels. I overlay a black gradient on the top so it helps it fade. On top of the ball I place a subtle green  on “add” to make the circle hot and give it color.

Hope you guys find this a bit useful! Happy animating!

how to help your tank in overwatch:

this applies mostly to Reinhardt and Zarya, but most of the tanks would benefit from teammates keeping these things in mind. i touched on some of these briefly in my general overwatch tips post but i feel like there’s more that can be said.

remember there are always exceptions and none of this is set in stone.

  • a tank is only as strong as their team.
  • Reinhardt’s shield blocks 2000 damage (but not Symmetra or Winston’s guns, any melee attacks, or fire strike). if Reinhardt backs up and away around a corner that probably means his shield is almost broken and it’s not a good time to press the attack.
  • Reinhardt cannot shield the team and also attack the Tracer/Genji/Reaper at his back or Pharah above him. heck, he can’t fight the Pharah above him hardly at all except for a well aimed fire strike. 
    • Reinhardt has to make a choice between attacking and shielding. even the best Reinhardt players can’t time shielding and attacking perfectly. it benefits everybody if…
  • … people stick near Reinhardt and shoot from behind his shield and help protect him from threats. this cannot be done if he is left alone while everybody else flanks
    • generally speaking if Reinhardt - or any tank - is attacked by the entirety of the other team while theirs is trying to flank, they’re going to die.
    • you cannot complain about the tank not doing their job when this happens if you weren’t there to support them.
  • Zarya works best when her team is within line of sight so the aggressive heroes can be given shields, which charge Zarya and increase her damage in turn.
    • A high energy Zarya can melt most enemies both up close and from afar and can be a major problem for the other team if her team sticks with her.
    • her shields only last 2 seconds/200dmg and have 8 and 10 second cooldowns. if her energy isn’t high enough and her personal shield is on CD she can be rather vulnerable - stay near her to help kill or chase off the enemy team.
  • Earthshatter and Graviton Surge are set-up ults. yes the Reinhardt and Zarya can kill whoever is stunned/trapped but it’s way more efficient to pair it up with an ult that packs a bigger punch.
    • if the tank starts broadcasting their ult charge take that as a cue to ping your own and plan a combo.
    • Earthshatter is blocked by shields. i don’t know if it goes through Defense Matrix or not.
    • Graviton Surge will still work if it hits Reinhardt or Winston’s shields but not if it hits D.Va’s Defense Matrix or Zarya’s shield. Graviton Surge is not a stun - people stuck in it can still attack and use their abilities.
  • Whole Hog, Self Destruct and Primal Rage are room clearers. again, yes they can kill (especially Whole Hog and Self Destruct) but it’s often a good idea to follow them in to clean up what’s left over.
  • a tank is only as strong as their team.

anonymous asked:

I was sexually abused by a family member as a child and I have a lot of...mixed feelings about it. I was six, and it kind of slipped my mind until I suddenly realized what had happened a few years later and I was just like. Oh. Okay. It didn't bother me that much until I got older, and now I don't know how to feel. I don't feel like it's affected my life that much, unless it has and I just have no way to know what I would've been like had it not happened. Is my mind just, like, blocking it out?

It’s hard to say. Everyone reacts to trauma differently and even one person can react to different things differently.
It makes sense it didn’t necessarily effect you in the beginning. You were too young to understand. But as of now you could be compartmentalizing, disassociating from the trauma, or you may have managed to process it and move on early in life.
I world say if you are overly concerned you could talk to a trauma specialized therapist (if it’s an option) maybe get their take on it.

But if there is one thing I’ve learned its there isn’t a wrong way to react. You are valid

After all this time, you’re still part of me. I still feel my heart skip a beat when someone says your name. You’re always the last thing on my mind before I sleep. Little things during my day remind me of you. But, time has made my memory soft. I forgot about the horrible way you broke my heart. My mind blocks out all the memories of the all consuming sadness you caused. All I can remember are the happy memories,and you better thank God for that, because I had a rage so fierce within me, my sharp words would have cut you deep. After all this time,you’re still part of me. But, only because I cannot remember my anger and I cannot forget my happiness.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #948 // @chipsandcasso on Instagram

I didn’t do one last year, so I’m posting them together

2015…was a bad year for me…I had a lot of internal struggles and tbh my brain has pretty much blocked out a lot of my memories from 2014-2015. I ended up taking a leave of absence from school

2016: started feeling a bit better. First time tabling at conventions (tabled at AX for my very first con LOL rest in pieces me). Transferred schools and started school again which is why September onwards is a lot of white space.

I realized my colors have become more muted and cold compared to my past years and I feel like it’s subconsciously representing my state of mind, but I want to get over it and consciously make the effort to use more brighter/saturated colors for 2017! 

Thank you for sticking around and leaving me nice messages in my ask box

Past summaries of art: 20142013, 2012, 2011

Tall Tales Part 1

Characters: Gabriel x Reader, Dean & Sam x Reader (family)

Words: 1685

Summary: The Winchester trio stumbles upon a strange case, and meet someone that looks awfully familiar to the reader.

Part 3 in Dreams Series. Read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

Part 3 already! :) So multiple parts in this series will be full episodes from the show, I have a great website for the transcripts. So full episodes will be split into multiple parts. Let me know what you all think! :) Enjoy!

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I fell in love with a girl and when I looked at her, all I could think was, this is my forever. And I thought that if I could etch her into my bones deep enough, or stitch her into my heart tight enough, she would never go.

I drank her love and could feel my insides drowning in it as if it were a pool and no matter how hard I tried to swim it just always felt like I had a cinder block attached to my ankle.

She made me feel something. She made me forget about all the fucked up shit that goes on in my mind and everyday life. I was selfish in some ways but I loved her. God, did I love her.

When we were together all we wanted was to grow together, as one… but it seemed like our roots just kept growing farther and farther apart. Like they were not only running, but dead sprinting away from one another. No matter how hard we tried the only thing we managed to make grow was a disaster. And eventually our future that was supposed to last forever turned out to be nothing more than a couple years.

I etched so hard and deep into my bones that I just ended up breaking all of them. The stitches came loose. The “forever” turned into falling asleep dreaming about other things, just anything and everything that wasn’t me. Instead of “I love you” it’s “I regret” and “you need to start treating me right.” All the “you’re so beautiful and I am more than in love with you.” started sounding more like “you’re not the same person I fell in love with.”

I used to think that the smell of you that lingered on the sweatshirts you always would let me wear was the most amazing thing in the world. Now I’m not even sure if the scent is truly yours or someone else’s.

When love decides it’s time to go people seem to only focus on the bad memories and shut out the good. What you and I once craved more than anything, now fights to barely be noticed. But I guess with you gone time will go on… It has to. I’ll make my peace and as much as it tears me apart to say… I pray you will too.

My demons are blocking out the light
And my mind is, about to loose the fight
Why can’t I find peace, when a Caracal could sleep tonight 
Your absence, isn’t something that I choose
The truth is, you were never mine to loose
Said that I feel lifeless, tryna get away from you 

Found myself where I started, this isn’t where I want to be
The time that I find hardest, always comes eventually

My shadow doesn’t show in the dark
The night time is inclined to my heart
The emptiness I felt from the start
Will follow me till I fall apart
Nocturnal, nocturnal, nocturnal, nocturnal

Classified - One Shot

TITLE OF STORY: Classified
AUTHOR: lowkeyenvy 
STORY GENRE: Mystery, Drama, Romance
FIC SUMMARY: He kissed her in the train station, left his coat with her, and disappeared. Who was he? She ran ideas through her mind trying to figure him out.
FEEDBACK/COMMENTS:  I labeled this a one shot but I have plenty of ideas in my mind on how I would continue it. Feedback is always welcome! Let me know if you like the way it ends or if I should continue! :)

Beeeeep! Beeeeep! Beeeeep! Beeeeep!

Consciousness stirred me, pulling me away from the comfort of sweet bliss. I clutched the warm sheets between my fingers, and yanked them up over my head, trying to block out the annoying sound of the alarm beside me. Sighing heavily, I blindly reached one arm out from under the sheets, feeling around for the alarm. The sharp cornered rectangle clashed with my hand and I lightly pounded my palm overtop of it, searching for the off button.

Silence. Finally.

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Bobby; reluctance, hesitance, patience

✉in which running away from the truth is easier
►2271 words | scenario, fluff-ish
© (photo credit)

“Loverboy up ahead,” She coos, nudging you by the shoulder and you cast a glance over your locker door before leaning behind it once more, “What do I say…?!”

“T-Talk to him! What else could go wrong?”

Then you give her a look that reminds her of the time you blurt out all the embarrassing things to another guy that you now have no chance with and she pales, “Cross that, don’t say anything and smile and look pretty,” She tries to fix your hair and you laugh out of the ridiculous things she’s trying to do in order to get you to relax. Your hands brush hers off and she grins, “See? Just be you, you’re prettiest when you’re yourself,”

You sigh and poke her forehead, “Since when did you get so lovey dovey?”

She rolls her eyes and turns her back and pretends to be busy when someone rolls along and you’re swallowing hard because you know.

The shoulder has been tapped, you’re turning your head and your eyes meet. He grins at you cheerfully like he always does like a ray of sunshine and he acts like nothing can ever go wrong. He feels like what you can only feel in the summer, his lips in a thin curve and his eyes are mini-like crescents that make your heart swoon as he waves, “Hey,”

All you do is stare at him, gulping and then you feel a jab on your lower back before you mutter out, “H-Hi,”

Five months ago, you met Kim Jiwon, five months later, you find yourself head over heels for the boy.

“So… I’m throwing a party tonight and… I was wondering if you’d like to come? A-Amber can come, too!”

Upon mentioning her name, you toss a look to her and she pretends like she just heard that last part, “I heard my name,” She sing-songs, stepping towards your side and you feel safe, thank god.

“Party, my house, eight-ish,”

“I’ll be there,” She clicks her tongue and throws him a smile that makes him show his thumbs up, “Great!”

Then he turns back to you, hope is all he sees, “A-And you?”

You rub the nape of your neck, the displayed image in your mind is your bed, books and your laptop and there’s a project due next week that you’re almost halfway done with. The urge to deny him is hard but to accept is equally tricky but your chance is gone when—“She’ll be there,”

“But I—“

“Awesome!” He’s ecstatic, his face says it all and then he’s taking off with his hand ruffling your hair, “See you tonight!”

“You better have good food!” Amber yells when Jiwon’s down the hallway and he replies that he’s got it covered and then he’s gone.

“Alright, wipe that look off your face, close your locker because now we’re going to get you ready,”

“The party is in three hours,” You roll your eyes at her and she slams your locker for you, “Yeah and you’re going to need those three hours.”


The both of you are nervously by the door and you hold back need to run back all the way to your dorm because how the fuck are you going to go through a whole night when you can’t even hold up just five minutes with him around? Firstly, this isn’t how things usually are—it’s just that from the moment you realized your feelings, your actions have gotten bolder and you don’t realize it until Amber tells you about it. So now you’re toning back down on the excessive display of affections that it comes across like you don’t want anything to do with the boy.

What’s more confusing is the fact that Jiwon hasn’t said anything about this and that’s what sucks.

The door opens and he’s greeting you like how he does whenever he sees you, “Hey! You guys made it!”

“Yeah, we live like what? Five minutes away,” Amber snorts, brushing through because she spots another friend and she leaves you alone—thanks a lot, Amber.

Jiwon scans you head to toe, opening the door wider and so is his jaw, “Y-You look beautiful,”

“Thanks,” You manage to whisper as you step into his place, tucking a strand behind your ear and he stiffens before the door closes on its own when he lets the doorknob slip through his fingers and he invites you to the kitchen to help yourself with some food before the crowd comes in because Jinhwan goes all out with the invites and he wants you to at least have something to munch on first. He leads you quick and you glance over your shoulder to see Amber cheering you on with Yunhyeong by the sofa because yeah, they know and they’re not even going to help you when they laugh along into their inside jokes.

Great, just great.


The night falls and the time is getting swallowed quicker than you had imagined. The party is having a good vibe, chill and relaxed, the alcohol pops open and everyone’s getting intoxicated into the moment and it’s everything you don’t want to be associated with. You find the balcony and step out, saying that you’ll inform the rest later but for now, you take a breather and it’s cooler outside than it is inside. There’s about half the people in the dormitory in this very place and it’s fucking insane to how many people can fit in here. At least out here there’s just you, yourself and yeah, you again.

There’s a drink in your hands as you sip on it, orange juice and you stare into the stars. The door behind you closes and you figure that someone else probably leaned against it or forced it shut because they can’t walk or feel themselves anymore so you let it slide. But what you don’t let it slide is the voice that greets you.

“So you’re out here,”

No, no, no. Your head takes the chance to look over and you bite down a gasp when he smiles, “I figured you’d be,” He continues, walking towards you and you freeze on the spot, your eyes follow him as he stands beside you and admire the night sky as well. Then your senses kick in to speak because he looks like he hasn’t been drinking, either, “W-Well, it was kind of stuffy in there and… I prefer not to drink,”

“You know your limits,” He lets out a breath and he looks at you with the corner of his eyes, “That’s good,”

“I guess so,” You smile, for the first time tonight that is relaxed and you look ahead of you before staring down onto the cup. As your finger circle around the rim of the cup, he talks, “I like it when you’re like this,” Your eyebrow perks up and you nonchalantly respond like what?

“When you’re calm, collected… when you’re you around me,” He admits, taking another moment to look at you and this time, you’re meeting with his gaze and it’s like something fixes you on the spot because you can’t look away even if you want to. His eyes are glazed with a mask of hidden emotions, bottling everything within and you can’t read what’s going on in his mind—what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling—nothing. Then your habit always take place to bite your bottom lip and before you know it, you feel his hand on your chin, releasing your bite before you find yourself drawing nearer towards him until your vision is taken away as your eyes close to feel nothing but his lips on you. He kisses you softly, gently, reeling you in closer until his other hand settles on your lower back. Your breath hitches in your throat when he licks the seam of your lips, he feels you stiffening but then as he continues to coax you up with his mouth, you find yourself being able to let go as he kisses you deeper, pulling you closer and you feel his chest against yours. Your drink in your hand threatens to fall out of your grip but some senses are still in you that you tighten your hold on it before your other hand reaches up and nudge him away by his shoulder.

Fuck, why did you do that? Your heart is angry, furious at yourself but your mind is closing up and no other thoughts can change your mind because now you’re a blushing mess, “I-I’m sorry, I—“

“N-No, don’t—“ He stops you midway, trying to tell you that he’s sorry but then all he does is hold onto the cup you shove into his hands before you’re suddenly so quick to your feet and he stares at you in bewilderment as you run out of the door, past the people blocking your way and before he knows it… you’re gone.

Jiwon takes a step back and leans against the railing, looking down on the cup in his hands, decides to take a sip and then he curses, shit.


Days went on with you pretending like that night was never marked on your calendar, hours ticked by with you trying to forget that kiss and seconds of irritation ticks away as Amber is bugging you to just go and confess when it’s clear on the situation. But then your instincts always tell you no when you confront him or even if you’re in the same class as him, you’re sitting far, far, far away  or coming to class late just so you can spot where he is and avoid.

Now is no different as you’re walking down the halls and a familiar looking face is up ahead. Your books in your hands are shoved to the person next to you, and she knows what’s up that she tries to hold you back by your arm, the other balancing the load you hand her, “No, you can’t keep running awa—“ She can’t even finish what she’s saying when you break free, dashing down the halls and you hear your name being called out.

Just as you take a sharp left corner, a hand tugs onto your shoulder and you yelp before realizing you’ve been dragged into a janitor’s closet and then the door closes. It’s dark but with the look he’s giving you, you’re wishing it’s darker to avoid that stare. He’s breathless, mirroring how you’re feeling as he presses your back against the wall. There wasn’t much space to begin with but as he leans in, it’s like if you shove him away, he’d still be near you.

“Stop running away, why are you even doing this?”

You try to come up with something but nothing comes up. You’re scared, you’re terrified of the commitment, the way you hear stories about people cheating on one another, heartbreaks, the endless nights you’d cry if things go wrong, How one day someone can wake up and realize they don’t love you anymore—it’s going to tear you apart but whenever you’re with Jiwon, you don’t seem to think about it but when you’re alone, all the dark thoughts eat you up that you can’t see the light. His hands situate themselves by the side of your head, against the wall and his breath hits your lips, “Why are you running away from me?”

Your eyes close and he mutters out a curse when he can feel you shaking, “I-I don’t know,”

“N-No, no don’t cry,” He rasps, framing your cheeks and he brings you closer, as if he wasn’t close enough, “Don’t…”

“I’m scared,” you finally admit.

“I’m here,” he says the same time you speak.

“I like you,” he confesses in the midst of the thick silence that fogs the air and he feels your breath hitching when your eyes still refuse to open. He goes with his gut feeling and your eyes only open when his lips are covering yours again. He sucks all the air out of your lungs but he makes you breathe again through your nose that he presses his lips against yours harder. He feels you clutching onto his shirt, how your hands are shaking but then they relax when he tilts his head, leaning in for another angle and you sigh when he smiles against your lips. He gives you a few minutes more, a few minutes more in paradise before he pulls away and he repeats the same words he uttered earlier on.

Then you reveal that you’re petrified, you’re afraid and it’s like you’re going out on the ledge here but he assures you that you’re not alone in this—he tells you of the nights he can’t stop thinking about you, he explains how he can’t possibly try to brush this feeling off and act like it’s nothing when you mean everything and he tells you how he can never forget that look in your eyes when you smiled at him five months ago.

You admit the same thing and he sneaks in a kiss before he wants to hear it with his own ears.


“Say it,”


“Say it and then I’ll kiss you,”

You’re staring at him and waiting to see if he’ll do it but then he gives in, “C’mon! Just say it—“

I like you, Kim Jiwon.

“Atta girl,” He grins, cupping your chin and pulling you closer once more—the both of you nearly get a whooping from the janitor that has the honor in revealing why he can’t retrieve a mop.