i feel bad for not including some goals

anonymous asked:

Hey, you always have good opinions abt gender stuff so i was wondering what you think. Im a lesbian and i guess im what you might call low femme like i'll wear stuff like dungarees with a floral top or like a flannel over a lace dress. I 100% believe i couldnt care less what straight men think of me like they dont play a role in my life at all, if i want to look cute its for my gf/other women. Am i lying to myself and is the only way that could be true to stop wearing makeup and dresses?

Your phrasing is a little unclear here (when you say “am I lying to myself” I’m not really sure what you are referencing) but if you are asking whether I think there is anything wrong with personally enjoying makeup and dresses, then no. I think it is one thing to maintain an ideological critique of femininity and makeup especially, and another to act like people are required to live out their politics to an extent that makes them uncomfortable even when this makes absolutely no material gains. Feminists have tried this before- mandating androgyny in feminist, especially lesbian feminist, circles, such that butches and femmes were mandated either underground/in the closet wrt that aspect of their lesbianism, out of feminist circles, or just out of existence altogether. And it just resulted in a lot of uncomfortable women repressing ways in which they wanted to express themselves. It doesn’t do any useful work, and even if it did, it hurts people in the meantime. Having to maintain a very androgynous wardrobe instead of one I’m personally comfortable calling masculine would make me extremely uncomfortable, point blank.


I think there’s this idea that seems to be a bit too common among feminist lesbians that femmes are just ditzy and stupid and don’t have ANY feminist politics of their own or have not considered any of this, and it’s absolutely wrong and a horrible thing to claim about them. Almost every single femme I know tried very hard to make herself comfortable with either androgynous dress and behavior, more typically butch behavior, or more feminine behavior, and THEN came around to femme identity after a lot of thinking on it in a way that was just felt right and comfortable for them and that’s a good thing. On top of that, the femmes I know personally are some of the most critical of makeup, femininity, etc, the most resentful of its effects on women, and not thoughtless drones worshiping at the altar of feminity. The same claims are made about butches and masculinity, and they’re not true in either case.


There’s also this idea that femininity (here meaning a set of actions, behaviors, certain dress styles, etc, rather than the social system) is a single thing, and that the way femmes engage with femininity (and not all even see themselves particularly as feminine women) is the same as how straight women typically do. But not only do femmes typically behave totally differently than straight women (and again, they’re a group of lesbians who are all individual women with their own personalities, etc, just like every other group of women) wrt things like attention paid to men, comfort taking up social and conversational and physical space, very different fashions that flag as gay to other lesbians, etc, but I almost never miss femmes who are directly interacting with me, because they just don’t seem at all like straight women to me. They move differently, they talk differently, they show a different sense of comfort with me, and while straight women flirt with me all the time it’s totally different when it’s coming from another lesbian in a way you just feel. And the idea that the way femmes move, dress, do pretty much anything, has to be connected to men. I don’t put on clothes that I think will make me sexually appealing to men, and it makes no sense to assume that femmes do that either. So no, I don’t think you’re fooling yourself about what makes you feel sexy or attractive or for whom you want to look nice at all.


So if you’re worried that you are politically obligated to give up any elements of how you move or dress that make you comfortable, that’s not true and you shouldn’t be made to feel that way. You life is not a game of political chess, wherein your decisions are objectively good or bad politically and you’re obligated to try to win politically or something like that. It’s your life, and your goal should be to live it comfortably and happily, and whatever helps you do that (including dresses, or ties, or anything else) without hurting anyone else is a good thing. I’m not femme obviously so if you want I can refer you to a couple of friends who are and who’ve written some about that aspect of how they see themselves and they’ll have much more informed perspectives. I am sorry this is so long but I wanted to make sure I gave you a full answer. Sending you lots of love and I hope you figure out what makes you feel most comfortable!

hansbekhart

reblogged your post and added:

I’d rather discuss what you think of my argument.

Then I hope you don’t mind me putting this in an extra post, as the original thread is getting quite long. 

I’m copying/posting your last reply here:

I don’t think it’s a contradiction though. I think it’s a miscommunication, stemming mostly from privilege. The disconnect in this argument is over what, exactly, is problematic.

Fandom has always imagined itself as a place of progressive values - a place where (predominately) women can explore their own sexuality and recreate community in a way that isn’t hostile to them, as a lot of the real world is. But this world we’ve created still has all of the prejudices that each member was brought up with - there’s no way that it couldn’t, firstly because many of our prejudices are invisible to us, and secondly because a lot of fandom works were created specifically to remix that already-existing culture: fan fiction is a mirror that we bend to find stories that include ourselves.

I think that the expression “fandom has always imagined itself” is a bit of a generalisation that does not hold up to close scrutiny: fandom is extremely diverse, and I don’t necessarily think that everyone who participates in it - or even the majority of people who participate in it - frame their contribution in these terms, or see it in that light. 

So while such a narrative exists, especially when it comes to the defense and representation of fandom in media, I wouldn’t agree that this idea of “progressiveness” is at the center of fandom for a majority of fans - at least not for those who never engage on a meta level. People often politicize fandom, but I’d argue that fandom, as such, is personal rather than political.

I absolutely agree wtih you that fandom content reflects our perception of the world, and all of our biases. But for me, that’s pretty much a given, and I’d like to add that the same applies to every kind of art and literature: whether we try to avoid it or not, everthing that we create is a reflection of our environment (geographical, historical, political), our personality, our prejudices and biases, our personal issues. 

And since it’s squeezed through what could arguably be called a feminist lens (because it positions female sexuality and self-exploration at its center), we fool ourselves into thinking that all the bad stuff - the parts of the world we were so alienated by that we were compelled to fix them - all that ugliness, we think it all gets left on the other side of the glass.

I don’t think that is the case, actually. At least I can’t confirm that from my own perspective and experiences. Very few people that I’ve spoken to - very few people who I argue with - would claim that fanworks are necessarily “better” or “less problematic” than the sources they derive from. Such a statment, I think, would be difficult to uphold when one takes a closer look at the average fanwork, the 90% between “My Immortal” and your Personal Favorite. 

I think that there might be a bit of confusion - or disagreement - about the nature and purpose of fanworks. In my understanding, fanworks are a form of wish-fulfillment and self-empowerment for those who create it. Fanworks can be progressive, sure, and they can be political, but I see that as side effect rather than a primary purpose. First and foremost, fanworks are hedonistic. They are the self-expression of individuals, the purely self-indulgent outlet for personal creativity. 

Of course, I have no idea what goes on in the mind of any given fan creator or writer. But speaking from my own perspective, when I write fanfiction, I write things for my own, personal enjoyment, for my own, personal amusement, or, if I wanted to be flippant: Because I can. Nothing inherently progressive about that. 

I’m saying “we” not just as a fan, but as a demographically representative one. Fandom is majority straight, white, and female - I’m two of those things, and can pass for the third. The reason I called this the White Feminism of discourse is because that’s where I think it comes from: a centering of a certain sort of narrative and victimhood to the exclusion of all others. Not necessarily out of maliciousness, but because a large proportion of fans don’t see the persistently racist problems in fandom - because it doesn’t affect them. Because they’ve never experienced racism personally, and are blind to the way they (we) perpetuate the microaggressions or outright racism that literally every fan of color has experienced in fandom. It’s a language we can’t hear unless we really, really listen.

Fandom is mostly white and female, though not necessarily straight, but that’s another matter. 

I think we need to make a distinction here, and that’s between fandom as a space for individuals, and the idea of fandom as it is currently presented in media by pro-fandom voices, which indeed often paints fandom as a beacon of progressiveness and female empowerment. 

When it comes to the individual fan and their contribution to fandom … I hate to say it, but there is no reason why any given fan should priotitize anything but their own, selfish enjoyment. I’m not in fandom to contribute to the joy and happiness of other people. I’m here for my own. 

Creating art of fiction is always a selfish act. No writer writes something they don’t want to write (unless they’re paid for it, or course), no artist paints something that they don’t want to paint. That’s how we create: it’s our personal, self-indulgent vision that we turn into something that other people might enjoy. Or not enjoy, whatever the case may be. 

The argument that I often hear is “if your personal enjoyment comes at the price of other people’s hurt feelings, it’s oppressive and immoral”, but that only applies when I actually force people to consume the product of my imagination. But as long as they have the freedom of choice, why should their feelings take precedence over mine? 

Especially, and I feel that this is an important point that doesn’t get stressed often enough, when I don’t even know who these people are? We’re on the internet. I have no idea whether the person I’m dealing with is actually who they claim to be. I have no idea what their life looks like. I have no idea whether they were actually “triggered” by something (I’m using quotation marks because the way the word is used here on tumblr, it can mean anything, from mild annoyance to great anxiety) or are just striving strive for power and control. 

I can totally get where the people who write this sort of positivity posts about fandom are coming from, and I can get why it seems like these are attacks out of left field. But when you (and not meaning you specifically, OP - all of us) claim essentially that all media/fandom is good, and all ways of consuming media/fan fiction are good, that ignores the way that media/fandom continues to be a really hostile and ugly place for a lot of people. You may mean, “There is no bad way to explore your sexuality,” but it can sound like you really mean “Even if it includes explicit, unqualified racism.”

But who says that media/fandom has to be “good”? Who made that rule when I wasn’t looking? When I “joined” fandom, I never agreed to limit my own, personal enjoyment to what minorities find acceptable. And while I get that some people think they’re entitled to that - that it should be my goal as a “decent person” to make them feel included, safe, welcome, and cared for - that’s not what I’m here for. 

You may find this a controversial statement, but actually, it shouldn’t be controversial at all. I get that some people would like me to sign a metaphorical contract, with the fine print written in their favor, but the truth is that such a contract does not exist within fandom.

No other person has the actual authority to tell me that my own enjoyment should not be my sole and ultimate goal. People might think they have the moral authority to tell me that, but there is no reason why I should have to accept that.

Why should I let other people dictate what my contribution to fandom should look like? Or, what’s more to the point, why should I let a bunch of strangers with funny urls do that, who willingly choose to engage with the content that I post on my blog or to my AO3 account? 

ESPECIALLY because, when confronted with that exact challenge, a lot of people double down on that and admit that yeah, the racism doesn’t really bother them. Which is what’s happening here.

It’s not a contradiction, but an unwillingness to confront an ugly truth about fandom because it doesn’t personally affect you. Fandom has a huge problem with racism, and pointing that out is not an act of The Morality Police.

Well, I’m one of these people. Though I think it’s fair to say that while racism does, in fact, bother me, my understanding of racism does not conform with the US American definition, and I’m not inclined to re-frame my worldview according to US American sociological theories just because fan culture happens to be dominated by US Americans. 

It’s not only racism, though, is it? It’s  “abuse” and “homophobia” and “transphobia” and “ableism” and “misogyny” and so on, and I can tell you that most of what I’ve written and published would raise the hackles of one minority or another, if they came looking. 

Or rather, raise the hackles of some individuals, which is another issue: very rarely, in my experience, has there been an agreement within a minority group on whether something was actually “harmful” or “offensive”. So, when I’m faced with a couple of people who come to my inbox, often in a very hostile manner, to tell me that something is offensive to people of color, or Jewish people, or trans people, or disabled people, and so on, they might be making a lot of noise, but I have no real means to say whether they are actually representative of the minority they claim to speak for.

In reality, it might look a little like this: My piece of dark fic, which was clearly labeled as such, got twohundred hits. Ten people left kudos, one left a positive but trivial comment, and now suddenly three people, one after the other, leave their comments in quick succession, neiher politely worded nor inviting a discussion, informing me that this piece of fiction is problematic and needs to disappear. Because they say so. 

That’s the point where I have to ask myself: if I give in to that kind of intimidation and pressure, am I doing it because these people are in the right, or because I’m afraid? Am I willing to follow their moral code, which apparently includes dogpiling, intimidation, and name-calling, or do I trust my own? 

Meanwhile, the people in my comment section are in all likelihood not willing to take my opinion into account. Any attempt on my side to justify myself just leads to statements like “check your privilege”, “you’re a nazi apologist”, “white (cis, straight, abled) people don’t get a say in this”. Disagreement is not an option. They’ve decided that my content problematic, that I am problematic, and that’s that.

I’ve seen this play out in a variety of instances, and quite honestly, I think it’s very important that people don’t give in to that kind of bullying. 

Finally, let me just add, for good measure: I think you’re right in one point, and that is that we might want to stop pretending that fandom is all about progressiveness, when progressiveness is mostly accidental, and yes, we can absolutely point out that fandom content reflects the preferences of those who contribute to it. If that’s mostly white women, the content will reflect that, as we’ve basically agreed above. 

On the other hand, if everyone keeps making the kind of content that they want to see, instead of bemoaning that others don’t make it for them, fandom will continue to change.

Just don’t expect fans to go to great length to make fandom a better place for others if that’s not what they signed up for. 

anonymous asked:

you got any portfolio tips for someone applying to art school? (kcai is high on the list for me so i thought you'd be the best person to ask)

INTERESTINGLY, that very fact might be the exact reason I’m not the best person to ask…. KCAI is a fine school, but lemme’ just be perfectly honest for a second and tell you that it’s not difficult to get accepted there.  Even if they don’t accept you, they will likely tell you exactly what they’d like to see from your portfolio.  For instance one of my buddies in animation had transferred in and applied with a photography portfolio… she didn’t really have a drawing portfolio to show them, but she wanted to learn and work in CG, so she just kinda had to make a case for herself and that was that. 

A school like, idk, CalArts, is considerably more difficult to get into, and so I’m not exactly sure what kind of portfolio they want to see.  What I would say though, is to include the art that best defines and summarizes YOU, or YOU’RE GOALS.  Art that’s an indicator of your PASSION, and what you want to ACCOMPLISH.  It’s not a bad idea to include a variety of studies/life drawings and stuff like that… those will help show that  you’re well-rounded.  But make sure to include what you feel is indicative of “your work”. 

I had a portfolio review with someone (from KCAI) before I applied, and I was just putting all sorts of things in there to showcase my different ABILITIES…  I put in some really well-rendered fanart… and then like, a simple, limited-pallet doodle I had done in MSpaint of some of my characters…. and she couldn’t have cared less about the well-rendered fanart.  Instead, she asked me to talk about the characters in the MSpaint doodle.  She said they were more interested in giving students a space to grow and develop their ideas, and I thought that was really cool. 

I have heard similar stories from people applying to CalArts (Jorge Gutierrez got rejected a couple times too, ‘cause he was putting together a what he THOUGHT they wanted to see.  They’d seen some of his more personal stuff–the super mexican-y stuff–and said they were more interested in that.), SO I mean… again, I can’t speak for all art schools, but from what I can tell anyway, there seems to be a bit of a pattern.  Put together a portfolio that speaks to you and what you wanna’ do!

Good luck dude!

how I see the signs (scorpio)

Aries: I love you. You’re incredibly passionate about your goals and the things you deem important. You’re loud and your jokes are so bad they’re funny. You’re so soft for your family and the people you care about. I love that you’ll stand up for your friends even if they’re in the wrong. Everyone says you’re selfish, but I’ve seen nothing but selflessness from you. You’re always ready to help people, always wanting to inspire others, and I thoroughly admire you for that. I hope if I ever settle down with someone, they have strong Aries placements. You give the best hugs, and I like your dominance. You’re good at being in charge without making everyone else feel inferior. Your spontaneity is refreshing.

Taurus: Why do you argue the same point in different words? It’s like you need others to see the same point but in a different way, so when they’re agreeing with you, you still disagree because it’s not exactly how you understand it. It’s fun buying you food because you’re always really happy afterwards. I don’t really like your ‘queen/king’ complex, you don’t seem to appreciate the small things people give you. You’re very kind and will go out of your way to make sure the people you care about are happy and feel safe. You’re a good person to go to when someone needs a shoulder to cry on.

Gemini: You’re incredible. You’re so outgoing, and you’re the funniest drunk. Personally, we have a good playful love/hate relationship going. We bully each other, but we both know it’s a joke. You’re very open minded, and conversations with you are brilliant. The adventures we go on are great, and you put up with my complaining a lot. You seem to constantly dig yourself in a deeper hole, because I think you lost the filter from your brain to your mouth. Half the stuff that comes out your mouth is BS, but it’s usually funny. Our arguments are always very light hearted and are resolved very quickly. I used to hate that you called all the time, but now I’m used to getting no text replies from you. You’re a great friend.

Cancer: I’ve never been able to create a good friendship with you. At first you’re incredibly kind and caring, and conversing with you is so easy. We can talk for hours. But after a while you start becoming low-key condescending and that’s the ONE thing in a person that will make or break my view of you, and unfortunately I haven’t met a Cancer yet that hasn’t shown that. You’re not good at stepping out of your comfort zone or opening up about your feelings, and I’ve noticed that you’re a sore loser. You’re bad at recognising dry humour, but it’s sometimes cute to see you confused when everyone else laughs and you’re confused. You’re very maternal, and you’re very good at looking after people.

Leo: Very kind, especially to animals. Every Leo I’ve met has been an animal-lover, and you’re so, so, SO good with children it’s actually crazy. You talk a lot and you always do your best to look your best, although admittedly sometimes it’s a bias opinion and you’re looking how you like to look. Some of you have awful fashion. But you still do your best. You’re very kind and are usually the one who sees the quiet person in the group and tries to include them. Some of you are very aggressive (not in a good way), and I’ve met a few of you who have big goals but are too lazy to go out and get them. But when you’re in your element, you’re definitely someone I like to associate myself with.

Virgo: I’ve had a bad experience with multiple Virgos. You’ve always been very condescending and make me feel inferior. You actually intimidate me the most. You’re very good at hiding your feelings, the only sign I can’t seem to see through. I don’t know your entire views until you’ve blatantly told me, but you always expect others to understand. You’re very polite to strangers, and you’re actually very good with kids. A word of advice, try see the whole picture in an argument. Like Taurus, you always argue the exact same point only in different words.

Libra: You’re good at changing the way you act with different people, yet still have a general personality that’s easy to recognise. Very adaptable. You’re always in fleek, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Libra that looks scruffy. You’re very genuine, and you’re good at avoiding arguments, but sometimes that’s unfortunate because I don’t really get to hear your true opinions. You’ve never once let me down, and you’re very good at getting to know people and the things they like. You’re incredibly friendly, and you have such a good reputation. I like going to the movies with you and doing other cliché stuff, because although you’re not good at going outside of your comfort zone, you’re good at compromising and you’re flexible enough to try and do what others want without entirely putting yourself out for it.

Scorpio: Fellow Scorpion, honestly you’re annoying and I try to not be like you. I’ve never met a ‘cliché’ Scorpio before, usually the traits are very low-key. Either family orientated, or your artwork is dark, or you’re just good at deep conversations. Both genders of Scorpios aren’t very cliché, but the men seem more aggressive and rude, which I try not to be. You’re all soft as heck, and you never argue face to face, it’s always low-key and the tension builds beneath the surface. I do it too, but I try my best to avoid it. I’ve noticed that there’s always a tension between Scorpios, and it’s usually negative. I like to avoid you. You’re either hard-ass emotionless or cry-babies, and I’m pretty sure every Scorpio I’ve met has gone through an emo phase OR a ‘scene’ phase. You’re usually very kind, though, and you always put yourself out to help other people. I think we’re so emotionally closed off because we’ve learned from being stabbed in the back or used one too many times. I don’t blame you for being like you are, but I don’t want to be like you. Scorpio humour is funny and you’re usually pretty laid back. Reserved, I guess, and incredibly stubborn.

Sagittarius: At first I didn’t really like you because I wasn’t really used to your sense of humour. You have a very derogatory sense of humour that I don’t really like, and you have basically no shame. But once I got used to that, I found a really fun person to philosophise with. The conversations with you are unbelievable, and I love going on adventures with you. Your speech is usually all over the place and like Gemini you dig yourself a deeper hole with each syllable that comes out your mouth. I usually have to stop you from talking, or drag you away, because if I don’t you’ll probably get punched. You’re usually blissfully unaware of this, which amuses me. You’re the one I would learn a new language with or make up a fake language. I go to you (and Aries) when I need to be inspired and motivated. I like that you try to fit in a lot, and you rarely get into arguments.

Capricorn: I like you. Your sense of humour is right down my alley, and you have very defined hobbies that makes it easy to find a conversation you like. I like Skyping you because usually it ends up at some point just watching movies and only talking to each other when we have something random to say. We can spend hours together and not talk at all, and somehow it’s still a fulfilling experience? I don’t really like how dedicated to your work you are, or how fixed in your environment you are. But you’re good at compromising. I don’t like you when you’re serious, you’re intimidating as f*ck. But usually you’re pretty easy-going and laid back, and you’re actually a very dedicated friend.

Aquarius: You’re quite an enigma. You have your outgoing side, and goofy is the only word to explain your sense of humour. I love talking to you, I love listening to your theories and the random things you’ve found. Some of you are very open minded, especially the ones who are younger than 30, but some are very judgemental, but usually it’s funny to listen to. Most of the time you don’t even realise you’re funny, sometimes you just say things, but the way you say it makes it funny. I love how you can start talking to random people, how do you make such easy conversation? I like that you almost always present yourself nicely. You have incredible smiles. I love how eccentric you are. I aspire to have a personality that is as individual as yours.

Pisces: You’re cute. I don’t know many Pisces, but the ones I do know are nice to be around because you’re very relaxed, but you’re also really funny when you purposely overreact or get excited. You’re always ready to deep talk and you’re very selfless. I wish I knew how to comfort you when you’re sad. I love buying you nice things because your face lights up like a Christmas tree. You’re easy to get gifts for. You also have so many hidden talents, I’m learning new things about you a lot. Honestly, you can be quite annoying, but you usually know when enough is enough and I’m very thankful for that.

Extra: Aries, Gemini, and Sagittarius are usually the ones I get the worst ideas with and make the worst mistake with, but I get the best memories from them, and they’re usually the ones I would consider lively. They encourage me to live, not just exist. I’ve only met one Aries that I didn’t like, and they had Scorpio dominant. Overall, I get along most with Fire and Air.

venomouswardress  asked:

Maybe pairing guide Kinkaku or Ginkaku? XD (Also would it be necrophilia if I'd ship an OC with one of them, as they are actually dead and just re-animations with Edo Tensei? >^>)

It wouldn’t be necrophilia if your OC had a relationship with either one of them before they died/were reanimated, which I would suggest anyway. Less headaches :)

So these two are pretty tough, since we see very little of them. What we do know about the brothers are:

  • They’re bad guys. Staging a coup d’etat, nearly killing Tobirama when he was Hokage, and so forth. They are some of the most notorious criminals.
  • They are underhanded, have very little to no marality, and will do anything to achieve their goals, including killing comrades.
  • Ginkaku praises those who he feels share the same mindset - “the ends justify the means.”
  • Kinkaku is the more prideful of the two.
  • They really only care for each other, nothing/no one else.

So! For a potential love interest:

  • I kinda see a “Femme Fatale” type for them tbh? They will definitely be turned off by a “Damsel in Distress” type or anyone “weak.”
  • Personally, I think that a pairing with them before they betray the village would be the easiest, but if not, some moral ambiguity would be best because, you know, they’re criminals. :’) Your OC has to be okay with affiliating themselves with people with such notoriety.
  • One of the most important things is that your OC should be powerful. They strike me as the type to look down on anyone that they consider weak, so your OC must have some sort of amazing ability/prowess that would get their respect/attention. We have a guide for creating powerful OCs [ here ].
  • Someone who is independent. These guys are not going to be fluffy romantics, and they certainly wouldn’t go for the clingy type. If your OC is in trouble, it’s unlikely they’ll be there to save them. They have to be able to hold their own ground.
  • Smart, mature, someone who respects/seeks out power. Although I normally don’t suggest this, I think having an OC of a somewhat similar mindset to them will be best, since they are so narrow-minded. Not exactly to their level, since they are so extreme, but they won’t go for the “good boy/girl” type, either.

I hope this helps!

-Shir

anonymous asked:

Hi, I saw your 19 days comic and I just want to say it is illegal to be that amazing at art I thought there was a new chapter ((also got any tips because I hate most things I draw and I'm kinda losing motivation I guess?))

Thank you so much! I’m not amazing at art at all so I guess I’m far from being illegal! :9 I don’t know if I’m in the right position to give any advice in drawing since I’m also an artist-in-training myself. But here are few advice I have during my ongoing quest to become a true artist! The answers here would be based on my personal experiences if you don’t mind. Here goes!

1. Keep practicing.

There is a saying ‘practice makes perfect improvements’ after all. Do iterative drawing everyday for at least an hour. Iterative drawing is a process where you draw the same thing over and over again but you have to tweak each one of them to look better than the last one. I’ve been doing this a lot lately. This is also how I’ve found the eyes that I desire to draw. Practice helps you find out more about what you wanna draw. It also improves your muscle memories~ both hands and brain! It’s the best way to improve.

2. Be mindful of details.

I tend to be very critical of details. My OCD at work. I’ve got this habit of staring intently at artworks. I don’t know if that’s bad or not but being attentive about details is good I think. If you’re doing fanart, the best way to make them look like the characters you wanna draw (regardless of your art style) is to take a closer look at their features. If their eyes are pointy then try to make your drawing pointy. If they have thick brows, then try your best to thicken their brows. If the brows have an arc then don’t forget that too!

I remember reading somewhere that Rei (from Free!) has a long face. Ever since then it stuck to my mind that he has a long face. KyoAni didn’t say that for any other characters either so it just stuck to me. Since then, I have to remember that Rei has to have that long face whenever I draw lol I guess it’s because of my mindfulness of details, my drawings look almost (if not exactly) like canon. The same goes for the official comment I’ve read about Rin having a nice eyebrow shape and Makoto having a big mouth (literally).

3. Do not overthink.

I did say to be mindful but also do not overthink. This happens a lot when you don’t know what to draw. When you over think, you end up procrastinating. It’s better to just randomly doodle! It’s weird but everytime I doodle randomly, the chances that I’d finish something is much higher lol Just like that fancomic for 19 Days, it all started with a doodle. I didn’t even have a story. I just wanted to see a scene where Guan Shan cries with a bloody mouth lol XD and thus, a comic was born. It was even colored. I’m very bad with colors especially since I’m color blind. I can’t differentiate most colors lol and I can’t do backgrounds to save my life either! And this has led me to another tip.

4. Do not be afraid to experiment!

It was 8am and I haven’t slept coz I was in the mood okay? I was like, to color or not to color? When I decided to color it, I thought, it needs to have a background otherwise it would look like it’s all happening in heaven. So I tried tweaking my Photoshop brushes to create a good texture for the leaves. When it looked pretty good, I was so happy. The fact that I didn’t chicken out on experimenting with the backgrounds felt great! No regrets! I learned new things because of it. And for some reason, I’m looking forward to experimenting with colors and brushes once again!

5. Set your standards.

An example is your desired style. Mine is one that captures the feel of the anime/manga/show I am drawing for. And a free-flowing body dynamics, please!

I have lots of artists I idolize! I’m sure you have your own art goals too! It’s not bad to get inspired and influenced by one or many artists. I know a few people, including myself, who started out by mimicking art styles. I learned how to draw by mimicking. I wasn’t trained. Now that I’ve got pretty much the basics down, I hope to deviate from mimicking official art styles. But of course, the influences they have on my works still show. I don’t think that’s bad in itself. Everyone is influenced by at least one thing or person.

Before, the biggest influence in my style is obviously Free! But recently, I feel like I’m seeing the influence of Kuroshitsuji, Kuroko no Basket, Shingeki no Kyojin (anime), One Piece, Bleach and CLAMP in my work. This is probably why my drawings look very similar to the style of all these anime/manga because the influences are from there! I’ve only drawn Japanese anime since I was young, so the only style I know is Japanese anime (aside from realism, I can’t draw cartoons to save my life!!!). Back in the days, where internet’s barely available, all I had was cable TV. I had to draw my favorite anime characters while watching just so I can keep them on paper lol this is probably why I’ve become quite flexible. If you wanna be flexible, you can do that! XD

Lots of people thought my fancomic was official but look at the difference~ the feel has fooled everyone. Which is what I am striving for. Not fooling the people but making the people feel the feel!

6. Keep your old drawings. Compare.

Don’t crumple them and throw them in the trash bin and burn them!! No matter how shitty or deformed they look, just DON’T! One day, when you’ve become an awesome artist, compare your recent and old drawing. You’d be proud of the progress you’ve made! It would end up becoming a hilarious remembrance instead.

7. Look at references and tutorials.

I still use some myself. I’m very bad at hands and pretty much the rest of the body. I try to rely on how I remember the human body a lot and my memory ain’t that good tbh In my mind, I have a good grasp on how the hands look like but when I draw it on canvas, it looks so weird (if you take a closer look at my drawings, you’ll see a lot of anatomical mistakes lol). So it’s good to use some references. If it’s from an existing photo/art just make sure to credit them. Oh and. I wouldn’t recommend tracing and uploading your traced drawing and claiming it yours lol. Try to avoid that please. I’ve seen people do it… o_o; You can trace for practice and compare it to your freehand drawing. It helps you with accuracy by comparing your traced and freehand drawing. Sometimes you can even memorize the entire thing haha (I do sometimes, coz muscle/brain memory)

If there’s a pose I can’t do, I make my brother pose for me or take a photo of myself and use that as my guide (I break them down into basic shapes). Also, try some live drawing! Like, go to the park and quick draw the people/animals you see! 

In regards to the tutorials, there are a lot on the web! Like thousands of them for free!! I have this habit of saving tutorials but never using them. That beats the purpose of saving them, doesn’t it? So, when you do end up being in the mood to save art tutorials, keep them in one folder and make sure you try them out like ASAP. I don’t get most of them the first try but when I take a break and do it again after a few days, I end up nailing the thing! :D

8.  Take a break.

Yes just like what I mentioned in #7! Sometimes you gotta take a break. After some heavy duty drawing practice, you need to refresh. I keep forgetting to take a break and I end up getting depressed whenever I see little to no improvement. Stop and do other things for a while, when you do come back, do a bit of sketching/doodling to get your jive back. When I do this, I end up liking what I draw. XD

9. Don’t rush………………………….. period.

There’s no magic spell that would make you draw professionally instantly. So don’t rush. It took me a lot of years to be able to draw how I draw now and it’s not even that good yet. So yeah. Don’t rush. Rushing will make you impatient and frustrated. I’ve been there so believe me. It won’t help.

10. Show your work and have people comment on it.

This is the scariest part I think. Like, who wants to be criticized, right? When I made this Tumblr blog, I didn’t have any intention of posting drawings because I was really depressed about my art. I used to mod ask-blogs until I realized I really sucked at drawing LOL I can see all my mistakes and I don’t want people to point them out because it friggin’ hurts. But there was one time my little cousin asked me to draw a Hetalia DJ for her birthday and I had nowhere to post it. I was embarrassed to post it on FB//// So I posted it here where almost no one followed me. I got some good reviews from people I don’t know and it became a motivation for me to come out of my shell once again and try.

11. Love your work.

Last year, I got really depressed about my art. Then a friend of mine (who’s an amazing artist!!!) talked to me about it. I confessed to her how I never really cared much about my art at all. I didn’t like it to the point I’ve almost hated it. I wanted to stop drawing. The only reason I started drawing was so I’d have a way to tell my stories. I can’t write novels/fanfics at all. I’m honestly bad with expressing in words.

Regardless, I’ve gained lots of followers within the 2 years I’ve been using this blog. I thank everyone who has supported me until this point. I used to not like my work because of all the imperfections. But, there is always beauty in imperfection. (Yeah that’s my blog tagline XD) I’ve learned to love my art along the way. And it’s all thanks to you guys!

I still have people who criticize my art (esp about my style) but I don’t mind it that much anymore. I have a love and hate relationship with drawing but I don’t want to divorce it because I’ve been married to it for so long. Why should I stop just because a couple of people criticizes my art when there are thousands of you who appreciates my art AND stories? 

Despite what everyone in the world says, I know that I have worked hard. I’d choose to skip dinner or sleep just so I could finish a piece of my comic for everyone to enjoy. It’s tiring but worth the effort. I receive lovely comments/messages that strengthens my resolve to draw more and improve more. That said, I’m sure that if we keep practicing, we’ll be able to art the way we like to someday!

For motivation, this varies from people to people. But here’s what I do to motivate myself!

1. Listen to music.

Put your most favorite music on your playlist. The ones where you’ll end up singing along with and loop it all. Since I work during the day/afternoon, night time is my only time to draw. I end up working all through the night til early morning so I end up getting sleepy (coz tired yeah). But when I hear my favorite music, I end up singing along with it and for some reason, I start feeling alive again haha

I like music that has this angsty feels to work so I listen to Hiroyuki Sawano’s music a lot. Songs sung by Aimer, Annabel, Maki Chang, Mika Kobayashi are A+++

2. Draw what you like to draw.

Draw anything you like. As much as possible, draw a scene you wanna see the most with your characters or smth. Not just a person standing without doing anything. For example, A is hugging B from behind. Sketch it. Even the basic form is ok. Don’t worry about it not turning out the way you want them to. This happens a lot to me and it’s frustrating to the MAX!! Like the drawing tip I mentioned before, do iterative drawing! It will come to you when it does!

3. List down things.

Get a cork board or whiteboard or even just a simple paper, write down the stuff you wanna get done ASAP. Write them big. No matter how simple the tasks are write them. And when you’re done with like “washing dishes” cross them out with a red marker/pen! The more things crossed out in your list, the more motivation you have to finish the rest. I think it’s how the mind works. Or at least, that’s how my mind works lol Just don’t write too much stuff tho, you’ll get overwhelmed! XD

4. Write down your ideas.

Similar to #3. Your ideas fuels your motivation! Especially if the idea is fun and original~ you just can’t help but want to work faster so you’d be the first one to post it! An original idea is always (if not usually) appreciated.

5. Rewatch your favorite show (like an episode or a clip).

You’ll get plenty of ideas you’d wanna draw from this. I like rewatching certain episodes because it fuels my drive!!!

6. Acceptance.

Sometimes we get depressed because we can’t achieve what we want. Thus, the lack of motivation. Let’s just accept how we are today. But never give up! Keep arting. If you give up now, you’ll never be able to show them how awesome you are and awesome-r you could have been! :3

WOW gosh. This turned out so long and I feel like I just ranted. Sorry about that, I have lots of feelings. The quest to improvement as an artist is a long, taxing and neverending journey! I don’t know if this would actually help but I hope it does. It helps me~ except when my depression is deep deep deep down in the gutters lol Goodluck with your drawing endeavors!

OH. There is also something called Peak Hour. This is the hour where our body, brain and motivation is at its peak! Try to find out yours and start working around those hours. Mine is around 2am-4am lol

Edit: I remembered another advice (it’s an advice my friend gave actually). For linearting, try holding your breath when you draw your lines. It works. For real.  (・ω・)bグッ

Another edit: Try going back to the basics. Never think that going back to basics is a waste of time. I sometimes figure out new things like positioning et.al whenever I do this. That’s why I regularly go back to it.

at first, this was going to be big and fancy. i was going to include all of my mutuals. i was going to make a pretty little banner (let’s be honest, it was probably going to be fallout 4 related). but i decided to do something just a bit more ~intimate~ this time around. i’m going to be perfectly honest with you guys… i had a god awful year. literally the worst. and the only thing that made me just a little bit happier was getting on this Hell Site and shitposting my brains out, as dumb as that is.
so, if you happen to see your url down there… something you did this year probably made my heart grow, like, 10 sizes or something. maybe you put a nice tag on one of my selfies? maybe we became friends? maybe we became mutuals? maybe we’ve known each other for 12 seconds, i already like you more than half of the dragon age fandom?
hey, maybe i just really like you.
i don’t know. 
happy new year, guys.

(obviously i follow more people than the 60 here, but i just couldn’t include everyone. i’ve done that before, and some of you MIGHT REMEMBER THAT TRAINWRECK. and like i said, this one is supposed to be more intimate than a proper follow forever. i’ll do a real one when i hit my next goal. maybe. just don’t feel bad if you don’t see your url. you’re still really important to me.)

@apolloette / @basementfestival / @biowareloveinterest / @black-rose4 /
@bos-paladindanse / @bpdmikaelahyakuya / @caits / @casterlycosplay / @chaoscandidate / @commander-shakarian / @commvndershepvrd / @corvosblink / @cowboybebutt / @cullenrutherford / @cutestghoul / @deathclaaw / @detectivenickvalentine / @dogmeaty / @eezos / @elegantnanners / @elenafisher / @etonia / @eyeb0t / @ferelden / @waxillium-dawnshots / @heroofferelden / @hgrimm23 / @jaspertiddies / @jjoelmiller / @jomontilyet / @kazzuhira / @lionofcintra / @luteces / @merry-vakarian / @mickkarn / @missxdelaney / @peppermintcrack / @prydwensentinel / @queen-tabris / @qunaributts / @raisincock / @readyformaccready / @sarahslyons / @shalecadash / @sleighbelladonna / @snarkysurana / @sousuukes / @spacevape / @spectrekenway / @splicerspawn / @ssolesurvivor / @thearishok / @tsunderrated / @vau1thunter / @vault-trash / @viddasalla / @whitewingdoves / @witches-memories / @wyvernage / @zevwalks

dear fitblr community,

sometimes i really don’t like the fitblr “community.” there are almost 10,000 people following this blog and sometimes i feel so happy for the support and i love the people who follow me, but other times there are such problematic things that happen in the name of “fitblrs.” here are some facts about me that you may not know, and also i feel like these things don’t have much support in the weight loss/strength-building/healthy-eating section of tumblr.

- i do not always eat perfectly. i eat sugary treats sometimes & processed stuff and i’m learning not to feel bad about it because it’s okay to not be perfect every once in a while.
- i think a lot of people on here are very fat shame-y, including me sometimes, because i am afraid of gaining weight. but “healthy” is not synonymous with “skinny.” how many times does that have to be stated before people stop naming their blogs “healthyandskinny” or some other bullshit like that? if skinny is your goal, you will never be happy. fat shaming runs rampant on this site and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having fat on your body.
- i am a feminist.
- i don’t shave any hair on my body.
- i am queer. i mostly date girls.
- i am polyamorous. i do not date monogonously (one person at one time). instead, i date multiple people at the same time and everyone involved knows that and is cool with it (and they are usually doing the same thing).
- i actively identify as a slut because i have a lot of beautiful, consensual, amazing sex.
- i drink. i do some drugs (weed & psychedelics). why are those things so looked down upon by fitblrs?? i love beer and yes it has a lot of calories but it tastes good and makes me feel good.
- i have gained a few pounds recently and yet i feel 100x better than when i was 10 lbs less than i am now. i am more relaxed, full of good food, unafraid to go out with friends because i think i look fat, and basically happy. let’s start celebrating that more than weight loss. that’s what fitblrs and healthblrs should be all about.

i know there are so many amazing people out there who know what i’m talking about and agree with me that fitblrs can be a shame-filled place in lots of regards (against people who have fat, people who are not losing weight, people who like to have sex, people who drink & do drugs, and i’m sure lots more). i want to know you and i want to change things. please message me if this post resonated with you. sending love to all of my followers!