So Ignis is the best option to be Noctis’ adviser and a gem for the Council, but he can’t officially become so because the Scientia are not royalty by title, and due to war and such they need to get him the title but only current way (legally) is for him to marry into royalty.
And Ignis ends up in arranged marriage to Gladio (because genders don’t matter okay stfu), bc he’s basically the only option (only close in age to him, and only single), but it’s a chaos because while they’re very good friends, Gladio’s a bit uncomfortable because he had never been with a man, Ignis had never been with anybody and doesn’t know if he even wants that, it’s odd marrying a friend, Clarus is always poker-faced and Ignis over-worries by not knowing if that’s good or bad, and after a few days Gladio starts getting stupid in front of him.
Like stuttering and face going red and brain freezing, and Ignis assumes it’s because Gladio is very uncomfortable about this (not understanding the crush, omfg the poor man), so it’s a mess and he feels terrible.
One day at rehearsal for the wedding things go chaotic due to Gladio’s nervousness, and in the middle of the mess Ignis leaves for some fresh air because he’s so frustrated and upset, and takes a stroll through a creepy old forest (because apparently that’s logical)
And there he goes super upset and thinks a lot of things: Gladio hadn’t acted as chaotic and dumb until their engagement; he was fine when they were only friends, so is the idea of marrying Ignis really that awful to behave like this? Maybe Gladio’s ruining the rehearsal on purpose to put the wedding off. Ignis knew he was not an attractive choice of a partner (always so serious, and inexpert, and so little physical), but he thought maybe Gladio could give him a good chance. That he reacts like this is offensive and…saddening. Ignis knew he was not the kind of man Gladio would like to marry, but he didn’t think he would be that repulsive.
Ignis tries to compensate the sadness with anger and thinks that, well, Gladio isn’t the kind of man he’d marry either, and starts listing all his flaws.
And then he gets sad again because he realizes that despite his flaws, Gladio is an excellent choice of a partner, and lists his good things. And he realizes Gladio wouldn’t treat him bad but also doesn’t blame him for not wanting this; “him, as handsome, so charming, so caring and loving, so outgoing and strong…stuck with me.”
So all the train of thoughts leads Ignis to get angry at how easy it is to recite the vows and doesn’t understand why Gladio can’t do that just fine, and so Ignis starts reciting the vows to prove how even in a random moment it’s as easy.
“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows”, he recites, “Your cup shall never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring…” he looks around and spots a very hand-like piece of root, and slips the ring on one of its fingers as he says, “I ask you to be mine.”
There’s silence for a moment. Ignis doesn’t even know what to do now that he recited the vows. He thinks himself idiotic and internally jokes (if only in an upset way) about how he just married a root, rolls the eyes, and as he’s about to stand back up on his feet, the “roots” suddenly and very quickly move and get a ridiculously strong grip of his wrist, so Ignis panics and tries to get away, but this hand has like inhuman force and is pulling from him.
And suddenly there’s an entire figure raising from the ground and this majestic but imposing white figure surges from the ground and Ignis can do but look up, his wrist still trapped in that goddamn strong hand and
i looooove them doing fancy gay stuff like brunch and theatre dates but i especially love it because i know theyre also gross gays who live in a messy science lab apartment and yell at trash tv and dig in the fucking trash for CLUES
So once when I was in New York, I’d gone to a show around halloween dressed as Jareth from the Labyrinth, and just afterwards some guy came up and asked if I knew where any of the local gay clubs were, which I was further uptown than I tended to hang so I didn’t know and apologized and then made awkward conversation for a minute about the situation, but that is the only time in my god damned life a stranger has told me they didn’t think I was straight so obviously I was doing *something* right
You will pry Shouto and Momo’s best friendship headcanons from my cold dead fingers I love them so much. Give me these two getting together for coffee on a regular basis and just talking about life. Give me them pining to each other about Deku and Kyouka respectively and the other like, “oH MY GOD THEY’RE IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO JUST GO FOR IT.” Give me them studying together and talking about their quirks and bonding over being recommendation kids idk?? Give me This.