i failed with it

This is going to be a really personal post, but I need to do some reflecting.

After completing third year of medical school, I feel amazing. I feel like I’ve developed a competence for my training level that I haven’t felt in so long. This is going to sound really cocky, but I’m so proud. I can’t explain it. I’ve come to the realization that medicine comes naturally to me. My clinical grades and comments have been outstanding and exceptional, and I’m truly very proud of myself for coming this far.

Now that I’ve made an ass of myself, let me tell you the whole story. I went to a very prestigious university. After high school, I was used to being called smart and being “the best”. Whatever that means. Well, after attending a university where everyone else was “the best”, I had to face reality. My grades were ok, not amazing. My MCAT was average. I only interviewed at 3 medical schools Don’t get me wrong, I’ve very fortunate I got 3 interviews to MD schools, but I watched most of my friends get dozens and felt incompetent even though I now know I was fine. And for the first time in my life, I struggled with truly crippling anxiety and sought out help.

I came to medical school eager for new beginnings. Wow, I was hit with harsh reality again. Medical school is freaking hard, and everyone is more impressive. I struggled to keep up. In second year, I had a second run with crippling anxiety, but this time was far worse and my physical health also declined as a result. I failed several midterms and barely scrapped by on several finals. Now that I’m looking back retrospectively, I once again realized that I was extremely fortunate because I never had to remediate, but I know many who did. Medical school sucks. It just does.

Once again, I got help, just in time for Step 1, and thank god I did. I was able to push through and actually do better on Step 1 than I could’ve imagined after my mediocre preclinical performance.

Then came clinical years. I finally hit my stride somewhere. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how. But I’ve somehow racked up a series of grades and experiences that I could never have imagined all while enjoying myself along the way. After reading through my MSPE, I’ve realized that yes, medicine comes naturally to me, and this is where I’m supposed to be. I’m not trying to boast or one-up anyone or even prove that anyone can do what I did and overcome anxiety. I’m just sharing my experience and for once in my life, I can finally say that I’m damn proud of myself. I’m sure residency will bring it’s own set of hardships and feelings of incompetence, but I want to remember this feeling and that it does get better. I may not have many amazing accomplishments in my life, but I can say that I’ll be a great doctor. To me, that’s all that matters.

your holiness suffocated me,
your feathers burned;
your many eyes,
gazed right into my soul;
your words,
like prickly thorns
punctured my heart;
your holiness suffocated me
and yet
here I kneel at your feet
to praise you.
suffocate me.
smother me.
let your light envelop me,
make me yours.
—  i’ve always been

Somebody has to do Gods Work and make a Avas Demon HighSchool Au 

Titans the principle 
Wrathia got fired as a teacher for smoking weed 
Maggie’s the sportsy kid 
Gil is taking all the Ap classes and says he’s already in “Pre Pre Med” 
Ava and Odin and the kids that doodle in class and sit on the bench in Phy. Ed 

Think of the possibilities 

Headcannon this with me

anonymous asked:

Mycroft's reaction when he founds out tha his SO Takes birth control pills without telling him

It really wouldn’t be that surprising to Mycroft as they probably didn’t discuss having children and its her body.

If she’s not up for kids yet and they both haven’t agreed to try for babies she’s very much entitled to take the pills until she feels she’s ready and decides to talk about the possibility of kids with him.

Like taking certain medication in the morning Mycroft wouldn’t see taking the pill as an offense but just managing her daily upkeep.

Ayyy ~ Important

Hello everyone!!
Today I received the results of my tests… and I failed in 4 ^^;; (Mathematics, Chemistry, Sociology and Portuguese >yes, Portuguese)

I was planning to answer asks, reply some posts and finish my special drawing for São João… But I won’t be able to do this until July ;-;
Cuz next week I will do these tests again and this weekend I will study for them.
But don’t worry!! I will answer what your ask for sure (*⁰▿⁰*)
Hmmm~ that’s all! Thank you for reading :D

fuck inaccuracies though because ive literally never drawn azgens locket open, not once, not never