‘Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you You’re my end and my beginning Even when I lose I’m winning…
This is going to be a really personal post, but I need to do some reflecting.
After completing third year of medical school, I feel amazing. I feel like I’ve developed a competence for my training level that I haven’t felt in so long. This is going to sound really cocky, but I’m so proud. I can’t explain it. I’ve come to the realization that medicine comes naturally to me. My clinical grades and comments have been outstanding and exceptional, and I’m truly very proud of myself for coming this far.
Now that I’ve made an ass of myself, let me tell you the whole story. I went to a very prestigious university. After high school, I was used to being called smart and being “the best”. Whatever that means. Well, after attending a university where everyone else was “the best”, I had to face reality. My grades were ok, not amazing. My MCAT was average. I only interviewed at 3 medical schools Don’t get me wrong, I’ve very fortunate I got 3 interviews to MD schools, but I watched most of my friends get dozens and felt incompetent even though I now know I was fine. And for the first time in my life, I struggled with truly crippling anxiety and sought out help.
I came to medical school eager for new beginnings. Wow, I was hit with harsh reality again. Medical school is freaking hard, and everyone is more impressive. I struggled to keep up. In second year, I had a second run with crippling anxiety, but this time was far worse and my physical health also declined as a result. I failed several midterms and barely scrapped by on several finals. Now that I’m looking back retrospectively, I once again realized that I was extremely fortunate because I never had to remediate, but I know many who did. Medical school sucks. It just does.
Once again, I got help, just in time for Step 1, and thank god I did. I was able to push through and actually do better on Step 1 than I could’ve imagined after my mediocre preclinical performance.
Then came clinical years. I finally hit my stride somewhere. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how. But I’ve somehow racked up a series of grades and experiences that I could never have imagined all while enjoying myself along the way. After reading through my MSPE, I’ve realized that yes, medicine comes naturally to me, and this is where I’m supposed to be. I’m not trying to boast or one-up anyone or even prove that anyone can do what I did and overcome anxiety. I’m just sharing my experience and for once in my life, I can finally say that I’m damn proud of myself. I’m sure residency will bring it’s own set of hardships and feelings of incompetence, but I want to remember this feeling and that it does get better. I may not have many amazing accomplishments in my life, but I can say that I’ll be a great doctor. To me, that’s all that matters.
and Laxus’ lacrima tv was rarely in use. In the men’s opinion there
were way better ways to spend their free time with. Some of the
options they thought of differed from each other and some were
exactly the same. Whenever they did use the lacrima tv though
they seldom if ever managed to concentrate on it for all too long-
not for a lack of concentration but because the temptation of
concentrating on each other was too high. And a better option
to choose anyway.
one thing they tended to pay attention to were the news. Freed mostly
read the newspapers in the morning but at times that wasn’t possible
so every now and then they decided to catch up on some stuff by
watching the news.
OMG I don’t know why but the idea of this made me lol immediately. I think that Nesta cares about how she looks, but her and lingerie just seem weird? I think she’s a lot more subtle than lingerie tends to be, just as a person. I can see her wearing things to bed that are mostly practical, but if Cassian bought her something, she would give it a try. She’d come out of the bathroom or closet all business, having no idea how to act intentionally like a seductress. She’s so much more up-front than that, he’d have mercy on her and just motion to the bed, which she would fall into gratefully.
So since Nesta isn’t too into that, I went to Cassian next. He would have 0 shame in trying to dress sexy for her. I can see him just wearing a low-slung towel, coming out of the bathroom, and doing a little dance. Or finding some special outfit at the shop in Velaris, even going so far as to special order some things he thinks she will like. It never fails to make her laugh.