Interesting wake up call this morning: Bagpipes. Came downstairs to find the boss locked out of the security office. I calmed him down and he found the spare key. The music stopped when we entered the room.
Kids these days, I swear.
Tomorrow is Saint Patrick’s Day, and a Friday, which means TLF is going to the store so we can get drunk off our asses after work. Me, I’ll probably just spike some hot chocolate because fuck the snow, but eh. Maybe I’ll drink from the bottle.
He’s also slated to get candy for us. Yummy. Another reason to look forward to the weekend. Once again, just us, a bunch of video games, and some angry, angry children. Or maybe just mischievous.
Where did they even get that music from? And why bagpipes? Those are Scottish, not Irish.
Well, of course Undertale, since that’s how I found him in the first place and I’ve legit rewatched the series like five times by now. Papers please is also one of my favourites becuse GLORY GREATEST!!! Lately I’ve been digging Night in the Woods a lot, since the series reminds me a lot of Undertale, even though the games aren’t that similar.
That Dragon, Cancer also holds a special place in my heart since it hits really close at home and when I watched it I cried like two hours straight.
I also enjoyed Happy Wheels a lot mainly because it was easy to put on and do something else at the same time while listening to Jack screaming at the game.
Emotional Offerings to Kami: Putting Your Worries on the Altar
A few nights ago, I found a video online of a woman explaining how she gives up her worries to Kami.
She explained that she gave her worries to Kami like an offering on an invisible altar. This way, if she were to start worrying again, it would be like taking the offering back off the altar, like taking a gift away from Kami. So instead, she lets Kami take that worry for her, and decide what to do with it, while she asks for Kami’s blessings to do the very best she can.
I found this method very therapeutic when I applied it earlier. My boyfriend rode on his bike to the store to get me chocolate, even though it was clear he really didn’t want to. So once he left I immediately felt guilt for asking him to do that, because we’re tight on money.
Rather than wallowing in my own guilt over something that was already done and couldn’t be reversed, I decided to offer up my guilt to Kami, so that Kami could decide what to do with that emotional energy, because Kami knows best what to do with it and Kami knows best whether it is necessary to feel guilt or not. And I know he wants to help all his children, if only they would ask. So I offered him my guilt, and my worry that went along with the guilt, and prayed for divine blessings in return.
My boyfriend returned, more cheerful than when he had left, carrying my favorite kind of chocolate and two sodas for each of us, which I wasn’t expecting. Withing my guilt and worry in the way, I enjoyed the chocolate and the soda, the stomach cramps I’d been having went away, I forgot about all the cravings I had for food I couldn’t afford, and I had a great time talking to my boyfriend all night about cosplay and gaming.
So try treating your negative emotions, like guilt and worry, like potential offerings to Kami. Kami wants to help you in any way, no matter how insignificant the issue may be. Nothing is too big or small for Kami to focus his attention on. Rather than worry about what you’re asking for, like a beggar full of embarrassment and shame, imagine your emotions as offerings instead, and what you pray for as your end of a trade. If you have worries, offer your worries up to Kami on the invisible altar, and ask for his divine blessings in return. Don’t repress your feelings afterwards, rather, whenever you begin to feel worried or guilty or upset, rather than wallowing in the feeling and feeling it intensely, project that emotional energy to Kami, and trust him to decide what should be done with it.
Just remember, when you also feel joy, and mellowness, and happiness, to offer this on the invisible altar to Kami too, in thanks for his divine blessing. This doesn’t mean you should stop feeling happy, because happiness can be shared without losing intensity or becoming watered down. In fact, by sharing your positive emotions with Kami, you should become happier, and this shared happiness will help foster faith by bringing you closer to Kami.
!Tip! listen to “House of cards” while reading this (:
envelope with a concert ticket accompanied by a piece of paper that simply
stated “I want you to be there” was on your apartment floor and captured your
attention as soon as you arrived home from work. It was probably slid under
your door while you were away and you found yourself unable to help the shy
smile spreading on your lips when you realized who’s writing it was.
A/N: I haven’t posted in so long, so here you go. I don’t even know what is happening in Luke’s, BUT I saw Captain Jack from DW. It was awesome.
ASHTON: “So Ashton we heard about your little short video,” the interviewer said, as she tilted her head. Ashton pouted his lips together, thinking of how he should reply. One night, being the drunken state he was, tried to make a twitter video on the bands twitter account. By this attempt he instead uploaded a video that involved you in a position you didn’t need to be online. Once you found out, you ignored him, and you still are. “Now what you were thinking when that happened?” She asked as she leaned forward, as if she was on 60 minutes. “Well, I was like, ‘oh shit what did I do?’ Sorry can I swear on here?” He asked. “We’ll bleep it out,” she informed. “Oh well yeah, I mean it was completely my fault and I take full blame for it.” He admitted. “Now how is Y/n taking it?” She questioned, trying to dig up a good headline. Ashton bit the inside of his cheek, “Um I wouldn’t know,” he said in a low voice. His head lowering. “Anyway, our new single She’s Kinda Hot, is about the misfits and how it’s okay to be different,” Michael declared trying to switch topics.
LUKE: The new home was perfect. Enough room for the family you hoped to expand. “See isn’t this nice,” Luke asked as he sat down next you on the couch. He wrapped an arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder. “I love you,” you told him, him repeating and a kiss on the forehead. After a few laughs and kisses, you both heard a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” you declared, getting up. “I already miss you,” Luke whined, extending his arms. You giggled, and opened the door. “Hello?” You were met with a teenage girl who was dressed in a pug onesie. “Hi! Is this the correct address of Luke Hemmings?” She asked. You giving her a look, you quickly noticed the group of girl in back of her. Each clutching their phones to their chest. “Depends, who’s asking?” You said as you crossed your arms. “Um his cousin, his aunt just died,” she lied. “Oh no! Which one?” You replied. “Ummm Aunt Carol. Yeah it was a tragedy.” She continued. “Okay, well I’ll make sure to tell him.” You say closing the door. “Okay we’re moving, our address is out and your Aunt Carol is dead.” You stated, sitting back down. “Who?” Luke asked.
MICHAEL: “You promise it won’t leave your phone,” you say as you straddle Michael’s lap. His phone in his hands, as you held your boobs in your hands. “Y/n, I pinkie promise that I won’t show it to anyone and it will never leave my phone,” he promised as he offered up his pinkie. Letting one boob go, you laced your pinkie with his. He smirked at you, as he he held his sleek, black phone in front of his face. It was like a sketchy photoshoot that was someone told you about. Of course you went it, feeling young and reckless; wanting a little fun with Michael. However two months after the photos were taken, they were leaked. Someone getting a hold of Michael’s phone one late night on tour, thinking it would be the funnest thing to leak these scandalous pictures. Being that he was in another time zone, you woke up to the world knowing your boobs. “Michael Gordon Clifford, I will straight up kill you.” You yell at him through the phone, him just replying with ‘sorry’ over and over.
CALUM: “Y/n, I know this isn’t the best thing to hear at a time like this but……..,” your bridesmaid dragged as you stood in the bridal room. “What? Spit it out,” you commanded, already stressed from the planning. “Well, it seems that the wedding may have leaked and now there is a mob outside,” she informed in a low voice. Brows narrowing, you began to flare your nostrils. “What did you just say?” Your voice sounding like a mixture of stress and anger. “There’s a mob outside.” Anger began to boil in your blood. “Y/n take a deep breath,” your mother said wrapping an arm around you. Taking a deep breath, “Someone has to go out there because if I go out there I will break their iPhones,” you say trying to stay calm. “Hey have you guys seen the mob out there?” Luke asked as he popped his head in. You sent Luke a glare, as he backed off. “Okay, I’ll warn Calum that you are pissed.” He spoke as he walked away. Only to return to inform that Calum will take care of it.
Note: Here is chapter 5, I hope you guys enjoy reading this story and chapter. Please please leave your thoughts, comments, suggestions and/or requests in comments or message me! Thanks for reading! (I do not own these characters) ~ R.Q
The next two weeks went by pretty quickly. We didn’t really talk to each other about anything, I went over gave him his school work and did my own homework. He would just stare blankly at the ceiling or out the window the whole time. He would sit up every time I was there, everyday it was getting easier for him. He would sometimes even make little snide comments about baseball, but I learned to shrug oﬀ his ego.
On Friday, after I got home from Connor’s, I found that the moms were out for date night. Mariana was also out and I didn’t know when she would return, so I just played some video games to keep company. The phone rang and I went up to pick it up,
“Hello,” I answer
“Hello, this is Gavin Rogers from Julliard School calling for Mariana Adams Foster,” they reply.
I think to myself why would they be calling Mariana? I reply “she’s not at home right now, but I’ll take a message.”
“Can you please let her know that a spot has opened up for the dancing program and we are holding auditions this December for that it? All the information will also be sent be mail,” they reply thanking me and hanging up.
I think to myself, “I didn’t know Mariana was trying to get into that school.” I walk up to my room and lay down on my bed. I then get my phone and call Taylor
“Hey Taylor, I’m bored, want to do something?” I ask in a hopeful voice.
“Hey Jude! I’m sorry I have plans. I know I should have told you this before but, I kind of got back with Derek.” She replied
“What?! When this happen?! I thought he got too jealous?” I reply in shock once again.
“Well he won me over, he promised not to be like that anymore and he made a very good apology,” she replied.
“I see, well if you’re happy,” I reply still in shock.
“Thanks, I am. OH Jude he’s here, I’ve gotta go, talk to you later,” she says hanging up.
“Great! Now I really have nothing to do,” I say to myself. Just as I was about to play video games I got a text, it was from Connor:
Connor: hey cap, you forgot your homework here.
Jude: ugh, I’ll come over and pick it up
I reply, only because I was just really bored and I had no one to hang out with nor anything fun to do.
Connor: great, now I have to see you again.
Jude: oh yea because I’m always longing to see you too.
I get my keys and wallet and headed out the door. When I arrive I see that his neighbors have a moving truck in their front yard with a lot of furniture in it. I drive around the trucks and park in Connors’ drive way. I get out and knock on the door. His aunt comes to open, “oh hello Jude, come in.” She says cheerfully.
“Hello Mrs. Stevens, Connor said I forgot my homework so I’m here to pick it up,” I reply going in.
“Oh go on up dear,” she replies.
I walk up stairs and enter his room once again for the day. As I enter, I see him facing the other way laying down, lightly snoring. I carefully go and pick up my homework from the table and turn to Connor. He is looks so peaceful and innocent. As I see him sleeping like a baby, my heart can’t help but melt a little bit for him. I don’t know why, but every time I see him like this, my heart can’t be forced to hate him. He really didn’t look like the cocky type at the moment. He turned to his desk and wrote a note to Connor, "Thanks for telling me I forgot my homework, have a nice weekend.” I put the note on his night stand and glance at him once more before heading down stairs. As I make my way down stairs, I see a picture of a woman at the bottom of the steps. She has blonde hair and hazel eyes.
“That’s Connor’s mom,” I hear from behind me.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop, it was on the ﬂoor,” I reply.
“It’s ok sweet heart. Connor had a hard time after she died, so I’m happy now that he has ﬁnally moved past it,” she says.
“I’m sorry for your loss” I reply in utter shock thinking about Connor.
“Thank you dear. And thank you for hanging out with Connor every day. I think he enjoys your company” she says.
“No problem,” I reply, now moving out of the house.
As I walk to the drive way I can’t help but feel pain for Connor, sure he was arrogant, but I had no idea that he had dealt with such a tragedy. I begin to wonder about him and what type of life he had.
As I drove up to my house I notice Mariana’s car in the driveway and remember the call I got from Julliard. I go inside and walk to her room. I knock on the door and walk in, “hey Judicorn!” She says as she ﬁnishes painting her nails.
“Want to paint mine?” I reply sitting down next to trying to ﬁnd out what she’s hiding, but also wanting my nails to be painted.
“Sure, let me get the color you like,” she says getting up and going to the dresser.
As she starts painting my nails, I look up and say,“ So I got a call for you today.”
“Oh? Who was it from?” she replies not looking up from her work.
“It was Julliard School calling to say you have an audition in December, do you have anything you want to say to me?” I say bluntly.
“Oh my god! What?! When did they call?” She replied now looking up, immediately stopping her work.
“When you were at work, I didn’t even know you auditioned for them, nor did I know you wanted to go into professional dance. Is there anything you’ve been hiding from us?” I reply.
“Fine I’ll tell you since you already know now pretty much. Promise not to tell moms. I auditioned a few months ago and sent in my tape. They replied saying I wasn’t good enough but recommend I try again next year, so I made and excuse to moms about college so I can practice. But now I only have till December to get ready for it. How am I supposed to do that with so little time?” She said now squealing and putting her hands in her face.
I go up to her and look down, pulling her chin up, “Calm down Mariana! You’re the most organized and talented dancer I know! You’re very good at it too! You can do this! I know you can because you’re my sister.“ I say wrapping my arms around her.
"When did you get so wise?” she said hugging back, “and so tall.”
Mariana was now 6 inches shorter than me.
“I’ll have to prepare for this competition now, remember not to tell anyone Jude,” she said as she ﬁnished painting my nails.
After that we went down and ordered pizza to eat. We planned to watch movies for the rest of the night. We watched pitch perfect and the notebook. They were
Mariana’s choices because I let her chose. When moms got home, they joined watching movies with us. We all fell asleep like that, I really enjoyed our Friday nights because it always felt like we were together.
The next week at school went by fast. Baseball practice was actually pretty boring without Connor. The other students gossip about me died down and they all went back to talking about other people. Taylor was always with her old boyfriend now, so it was harder to talk to her by myself. Even when I’m “popular”, I’m not. Coach kept asking how Connor was every other day to make sure I was seeing him.
It was Wednesday, after school I went over to Connor’s to give him work and hang out with him. When I entered his room, he was already sat up and playing catch with the wall.
“Hey,” I say
“Hey,” he replies.
Ever since Friday I’ve been trying to talk to him more, so I could get to know him, but I never got the conﬁdence.
As Connor continued playing catch, pretending not to notice Jude’s presence, I put down Connors’ work and got my own out. I decided to some math homework while I’m here. I started to work out the problems but I got stuck on one. I knew I shouldn’t have taken AP calculus but I me and my challenging ways. I kept redoing and erasing the problem, making a diﬀerent face every time. After about the sixth time of erasing the problem I hear Connor speak up, “oh my god all that erasing is making my head hurt.”
“Sorry, I just can’t get this problem,” I replied.
“Then stop trying, give up,” he replies simply.
“Nah, I don’t like giving up,” I reply getting back to my work.
He then got out of his bed slowly, “oh.. umm…. What are you doing, you need to rest,” I start to say getting up and moving towards him.
“It’s ok, it’s almost been a month, I can stand up and walk, it’s not like I’m sky driving he retorted,” now standing in front of me.
“Let me help you with that,” he said, putting his hands forward to see my work. I hand it over to him with little resistance because I needed the help. He sat back down on this bed and I sat next to him.
As he examined my work, I couldn’t help but notice his concentrated face. It was nice and his eyes were full of focus. Sitting next to him gave me a new feeling, but it quickly went away
“How do you not get this? It’s so easy,” he said now explaining my mistakes and teaching me the lesson.
“Thank you,” I say as we ﬁnish the homework, “who knew you could be useful,” I say in a half sarcastic laugh.
“Well, just my soft side cause I’ll be taking your place as head of the baseball team,” he retorted.
I just laughed as a replied, “Challenge accepted.”
Today was the ﬁrst day where Connor acted semi decent and it wasn’t a bad side to him. He was interesting and I wanted to ﬁgure him out.
The next two days went similarly, we would do our homework and talk about baseball. It was nice to talk to somebody new and didn’t like me because of baseball. We hated each other, but it somehow worked out. Connor was interesting to talk to.
When I got home Friday after visiting Connor, I saw a new car in the drive way, one I didn’t recognize. I parked my car got out and walked in the house.
“Hello? Anyone here? There’s a car I don’t recognize,” I say putting my keys down on the counter.
I turn around and see Callie standing in the doorway, “do you like it? I’ve saved up for it?” She says now running up to me and giving me a hug.
“It’s really nice,” I say, wrapping my arms around her excited to see her.
“How long are you here?” I ask.
“Today and tomorrow” she replies
“No one else is here, so we get some alone time to talk,” she says staring at me,“ tell me what’s new with your life.”
We sit down on the couch and I tell her about my ﬁrst month of senior year, all details. The only thing I leave out is about Connor’s mom.
“Wow Jude, I can’t believe you actually hit a person!” She says laughing.
“It wasn’t that bad, plus I get punishment,” I retort.
“This Connor kid sounds like a jerk, want me to kick his ass?” She replies
“No,” I say, “he’s not that bad, he’s just arrogant, but I think he has a kind heart. We aren’t friends, but I don’t hate him anymore.” I reply.
“Well if you ever need me to, I’m here,” she says now looking towards to door because someone was coming in.
Mariana entered the house
“OH MY GOD! Callie!” She said now running up and hugging her.
“Hi Mari! How are you?” Callie replied.
“I’m good!” Mariana said.
We talked about life and new things that happens to us in the year. Moms came home from date night and greeted Callie. Today we all played board games and discussed our lives.
The weekend went by pretty quickly, leaving no room to do homework. It’s a good thing I ﬁnished most of it at Connor’s. It was now Monday and I was heading to Connors’ after school. Taylor was always hanging out with Derek so I never really hung out with her outside of school, so I kind of looked forward to going to Connors’ every day.
Only one week left and then Connor will return to school I thought as I entered his house. I made my way to his room and entered. He was playing a game on his tablet.
“Hey Connor,” I say putting my backpack down.
“Hi,” he replies not taking his eyes oﬀ the tablet.
“What are you playing?” I ask intrigued.
“Star Wars commander,” he replies, “but I can’t get past this level.”
“Oh I love that game, here let me try?” I ask.
He nods and hands it to me, I take the tablet and show him how to beat the level.
“And that’s how you do it son!” I say to him teasingly, “you know if you need a lesson in how to be awesome, I can always teach you!”
“Haha don’t get too excited, I’m still better at baseball,” he retorts laughing.
As we played, I couldn’t help but notice how enjoyable Connor’s company is. I didn’t notice it before, but when he’s not being so cocky, he isn’t such a bad guy. We played for 2 hours before I decided to leave, saying my goodbyes.
These past few days I’ve stayed longer than usual because I liked coming over and he was being semi civil. As I was leaving his house I notice a new moving truck at his neighbor’s house. Then I notice this girl walking towards me. She had long blonde hair, down to her thighs, was skinny and had blue eyes, she was a few inches shorter than me.
“Hi my names Cecelia Grant, I moved in today and my parents told me to get to know the neighbors,” she says extending her hand to me.