i even cooked the chicken from raw

anonymous asked:

Ahh do you think you could do a hc where the reader fixes Penny some food. It’s meat but it’s cooked and seasoned (and maybe vegetables?). I thought of this while heating up some chicken lmao

yall gotta stop with the food asks man I’m hungry af 

- point blank REFUSES to even listen to you after you suggest eating human food 
- literally won’t even accept the meat if it’s raw 
- pouts, crosses his arms and keeps wriggling away from you so he doesn’t have to look at you 
- you give up and go of to make yourself something to eat that you know will be A+ 
- after a while the smell gets too much for him so he goes to investigate what your doing, peeking over you shoulder
- you know he’s there, you can hear him humming in confusion at what you’re doing so u begin to explain what each vegetable is, what they taste like and how you can cook them ect 
- take him on a tour of the spice rack 
- he puts pepper right next to his nose and snorts
- throws the pepper before flinching and rubbing his nose, whining that he’s been poisoned and his nose is going to fall off 
- “You can shapeshift and change this form at will, what difference does it make if it falls off?” You roll your eyes and continue cooking
- eventually it’s cooked and you sit him down at the table and give him a plate 
- he takes a bite and pauses before smiling at you and giving you a big thumbs up 
- happy, you begin to eat urself and don’t notice the joy drain from pennys eyes 
- he hates it, unless the food was literally made of humans he didn’t like it 
- but, seeing how happy it made you he continues to eat it regardless because u have the cutest smile in the world to him plus he can see how proud you are :) 
- all goes out the window when he doesn’t understand what to do with the plate so he launches it across the room to try and get it into the trash 

Honeymoon Phase

Anonymous said: Can you do a 4/4 blurb of husband!5sos with playful sex? 

Luke: You groaned at the undercooked chicken you had cut into, wanting to stab away the raw pink in the middle. “That’s it, I am not wife material. You are officially an idiot for marrying me.” Luke chuckled as he got up from the couch, ready to inspect how dinner had been going. Every night you had tried to cook a nice dinner, but panicked and slipped up at least once. Undercooked chicken, burnt vegetables, even a salad gone wrong with bad lettuce. Just as you were about to angrily toss the excuse for food in the trash can, a pair of comforting arms wound around you from behind, and you instinctively let out a sigh. “I like being an idiot. You’re wife material because you’re you, Y/N. Plus, that’s why delivery exists, okay? You’ll figure it out.” His soothing words helped you breathe again, and slip into a peaceful state, dragging you fingertips up and down his forearms as he spoke. “Thank you, babe,” you laughed to yourself, “for putting up with me.” “I can do more than put up with you.” Luke’s voice dropped a bit, and a rush of heat flooded your body when his thumbs moved down to tuck into the front seams of your jeans. “Thinking about finding a different use for this kitchen, Mr. Hemmings?” A smirk was obvious in your voice, but Luke turned you in his arms to make sure you were wearing his favorite facial expression. “Jump,” he softly demanded, and paused before adding a seductive “Mrs. Hemmings.” You hopped up on the counter, landing on a clear space for him to slide between your legs. Luke’s lips were like therapy to you, and all stress about cooking seeped away when he kissed you with that drive and passion you fell in love with. His hands used to be shy on your skin, but ever since you’d said ‘I do,’ they never failed to cover every inch of you. You laughed against his lips, not because of how funny he always was when he fumbled to inch off his skinny jeans (though that always made you grin), but because you were the overflowing happy that couldn’t be expressed with just a smile. Luke’s laugh harmonized with yours as you both hungrily and blissfully made love in the kitchen that you shared.

Calum: “If that’s how hard it is to get a puppy to fall asleep, then I am very scared about having kids,” Calum joked in a whisper as you two backed away from the sleeping puppy. Pugsley had finally exhausted himself after taking a few laps around the new house, pulling the stuffing out of three (very expensive) pillow, and trying to catch birds in the backyard for half an hour. The two of you chased the little pug around all day trying to teach him obedience and maybe learn that the backyard is a toilet, but the attempts were futile and lead both of you to watching Pugsley curl up in the dog bed you had set in the laundry room. “Oh please, Hood, like you’d ever get out of bed for our kid. They’d cry, cry, cry, and I’d have to get up every half hour.” You shot your husband a snicker and folded your arms across your chest, ready for him to admit the truth. But Calum’s jaw dropped in playful shock, and he placed a hand on his chest as if the comment truly offended him. “Hey, Mrs. Hood! We would switch off, I swear. I won’t be the bad guy.” You noticed a flicker of promise in his voice, causing your sarcastic face to soften into a smile. “Good, I like the sound of that.” Suddenly, Calum took a step closer and grabbed tenderly onto both of your soft hands. They looked so small in his, and your ring sparkled as he swung them a bit between you two. “I do want kids, babe. Just…we never officially talked about it so I wanted to let you know. That’s cool, right?” Calum finally lifted his eyes from your intertwined hands to meet yours, and you couldn’t help but answer with a long, sweet kiss. “Cool,” you whispered against his full lips, and gave his rough, warm palms a squeeze. “In fact, I wouldn’t be opposed to trying right now.” Your husband’s relieved grin warped into a devilish smirk as it hit him, and within seconds he was dragging you to the bedroom. “I’m beginning to like this part,” Calum chuckled as you pulled his shirt over his head and placed kisses along his chest. How after this many years you two still were so infatuated with each other’s bodies as if you’d never made love before, you still had no idea. But there was a childlike excitement when each piece of clothing was removed, and in record time you were moaning your husband’s name like it was the sweetest word in your vocabulary.

Michael: “Hey, wake up. I’m bored.” You were forced to open your eyes and face the day by a fingertip poking at your cheek. It was your first morning in your shared house with Michael after the honeymoon, and to be quite frank, neither of you had slept very much in the past week. You planned on being lazy and sleeping in until noon, but an excited grin was waiting for you when you turned to face him, and made it very hard to be mad at him. “What are you doing? You never wake up before noon, Mikey. Did you drink coffee and pull an all-nighter again?” You rubbed your eyes and propped up on an elbow, waiting to hear what crazy antics your husband had been up to while you were trying to get some sleep. “It’s our first real morning married, Y/N. I wasn’t planning on sleeping it away. God, you suck at romance.” His answer surprised you with warm love that spread from your chest, and you reached out to brush a thumb along the stubble on his jaw. “Sorry, babe. But you’ve been keeping me up pretty late these past few days. Can you blame a girl for wanting to recharge since we’ll be up to these shenanigans for the rest of our lives?” Though you smirked as you spoke, the words were so sweet to say out loud. The rest of your lives now. You glanced at the gold band on Michael’s finger and wanted to cry at how sweet it was that he wore it to sleep. But when you met his eyes, they had darkened from innocent romance to vivid memories of your honeymoon, and suddenly you were very awake. “Well have you recharged enough, Mrs. Clifford?” Michael asked with a raised eyebrow, and you slid closer as if pulled in magnetically. “I think I could be.” You ran your fingers through your husband’s vibrant hair, and felt his warm palms guide you up to straddling him. “Good.” One word slipped from his lips before he sat up and latched onto your neck, very ready to leave the marks you loved so much. Driven by the heat between your legs, your hands dove down to tug on Michael’s boxers, sitting up off of his lap to slide them down. Michael laughed against your soft skin, only causing you to whimper. “Hey, no rush. We have the rest of our lives.”

Ashton: When you and Ashton lowered the couch to the floor and stepped away, the final piece of furniture had been set. Now your shared home was fully decorated, furnished, and ready to be your home. You let out an excited squeal and rushed into your husband’s arms, quickly throwing your arms around his waist and squeezing tightly. “Finally, we’re done! No more vast empty spaces or wondering which box we put the toothpaste in.” Ashton chuckled in response and kissed the top of your head, a sense of accomplishment filling him from head to toe. “I can’t believe we live here, Y/N. It’s such a great place and now it’s real and….shit, I’m happy.” You propped your chin on his chest and looked up at your husband as he scanned the room in awe. He looked so ready to make a life here with you, and just like when you saw him at the end of the aisle not too long ago, love warmed every inch of your skin. “Me too, babe.” Finally, Ashton looked down at you and met your eyes with a moment of sincerely beautiful silence, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Mrs. Irwin…” he mumbled, and you unwound your arms to cover his hand cupping your cheek with yours. The cool metal on his ring finger was a subtle reminder that this wasn’t a dream, and your heart picked up pace in reaction to how soft his eyes were. “How about we christen this new couch? Celebrate being moved in a little?” The offer was irresistable, but you pretended to think about it. “Hmm, well I’m not sure…” you teased, causing Ashton to chuckle and lean in. His lips were so skilled at moving against yours, so practiced and considerate of every move. Before you knew it, the backs of your knees knocked against the couch and you broke into a giggle into the kiss. Ashton reached around your waist to soften the fall as you sunk into the couch cushions, and his body hovered over you, supported by strong biceps that made you swoon to this day. You dragged your fingers into his scalp, causing him to groan darkly, and caught a glimpse of the diamond on your finger through his luscious hair. “I like this couch,” you whispered, and Ashton chuckled before diving into the crook of your neck to suck on your pulse point, leaving you a whimpering mess under his power.

request here!

Simple, Versatile Soup

Ok, so, this is a recipe I invented when I was a kid. It’s really simple and still my go-to recipe for whenever I just don’t have the energy to do anything more complicated, or when I’m sad or ill and need comfort.

Ingredients:

  • Water
  • Bouillon cubes or powder
  • some kind of pasta (preferrably fideos, but I also like to use fusili or broken-up pieces of spaghetti)
  • soy sauce (low sodium, if you can find it)
  • lemon juice (from a bottle is fine)

Optional ingredients:

  • cheese cubes
  • any kind of meat (beef, chicken, or even lunchmeats! This soup tastes incredible with ripped up salami slices)
  • any kind of frozen or fresh veggies
  1. Boil water and throw in some bouillon cubes (usually I use about a one for like 22 ounces).
  2. Wait till the water is boiling, then throw in the pasta and try it every few minutes to find out if they’re cooked to your liking.
  3. Add some soy sauce and lemon juice.
  4. Throw in the additional ingredients at the end if they’re pre-cooked or edible when raw or with the pasta if they need to be cooked.

This might not be very creative, but it’s easy and done in maybe 15 minutes or even less! And it’s really tasty, too.