i enjoy this group

thanks for inviting me to the party. if you need me, i’ll be in the corner, drinking & trying not to make eye contact

Recently, I was part of a conversation between my sisters and a person outside of our friend group. The subject of K-pop came up, and this person who was clearly not a fan looked at me and said “you must be patient zero”. I’ve heard this term used before, mainly in a derogatory way, with the meaning of “the first person to be exposed to K-pop, who then spreads becoming a fan as a disease among their friends and family”. At first, I was a little annoyed, but as I thought about it more and more, I realized that he was unknowingly paying me as well as the industry of K-pop a massive compliment.

The truth that has to be acknowledged to understand why, though, is the sometimes uncomfortable and avoided fact that K-pop is very much an industry, and groups are very much a product. Fans don’t like to discuss this much, but it’s a fact that cannot be denied. K-pop groups are products created by corporations to sell to consumers. Many antis will use this as a reason to not enjoy K-pop, saying for instance “it’s too fake and manufactured, where companies decide members of groups instead of letting them come together naturally”, however the reality is that much of American media is the same. K-pop is very self aware in being an industry, and will even present straight to the fans that they are consumers of a product. Idols will say that the company won’t let them say or do things that would pull fans away, such as dating bans or bans on using dialect. There are TV shows such as Fluttering India, a show where members of K-pop groups were sent to India to research the market for K-pop, essentially filming and packaging the research companies do in America for a new product as entertainment. There are even TV shows made into survival shows such as No Mercy or Pentagon Maker which show the making of the group product, choosing members who work well together and have the talent necessary, almost like a Shark Tank where the judges are the companies and the products are human lives. The K-pop industry is just that, and industry, and the companies will cater to the consumers through fan-service and fan events. Being aware of such a fact is important to understand, and it doesn’t make your enjoyment of the industry a bad thing. It means that you understand that even in American culture, actors and TV celebrities and singers are products who you support and spend money on, and you as a fan have abundant power in such matters.

This is important, though, because you now understand that K-pop is an industry and not a disease. And like any other industry, the strongest tool that is utilized is word of mouth. Humans have a natural crowd mentality, and sites such as Amazon or Yelp utilize this mentality, showing you ratings and reviews in order to convince you to buy products. Youtubers and Instagrammers will buy followers to convince followers to go with the crowd. When you take a survey for any reason, for a store or a restaurant alike, what two questions are always there? “How did you hear about us”, “Would you recommend us to a friend?”. You see, K-pop is an industry, and by saying that it is an industry that is known to be infectious like a disease, spread from person to person, you’re only saying that K-pop has achieved something most product distributers only dream of - a product with value and appeal enough for a successful complete spread of word of mouth through people from all languages, all cultures, all races, all backgrounds, and all walks of life. And by saying that I am patient zero you’re saying that I am a distributer to an entirely untapped friend group, family, an untouched market, and that I as a consumer am increasing the profits of an industry that I genuinely enjoy partaking in, that my support as a fan of a group that speaks a different language in a different part of the world than me is at the very root valuable and valued and sought after from companies and idols alike.

So let that be a reminder to fans who are tired of hearing “they will never know you exist” or “you don’t even speak the same language”. Not only is your enjoyment valid, it’s also necessary and important in making K-pop and your favorite bias group become a worldwide trend until the biggest argument the haters can put forth is that it appeals to too many people. 

All I need in life is when members (Sehun, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Jongdae, Suho, Kyungsoo, Xiumin, Yixing, Jongin) are acknowledged as individuals and they positively glow with minute pride from being recognized if only for a moment and the rest of their group wholly supports them and encourages each and every individual accomplishment with so much love

BTS Intro Post

Title; BTS Intro Post

Genre; Info(??)

Type; Intro Post

Group/Member; BTS – OT7

Authors Notes; Enjoy! I’m soo terribly sorry it’s so late! Hope it’s what you wanted!! 😊 Also this is a rlly rlly long post with lots of facts and photos so um ye…have fun. Tbh all this post does is just prove what a big ‘ol piece of trash i am because 95% of these facts were from memory, I typed all dis shit out guys…im fuckin dead now. These are all facts from websites that I remember, certain nicknames are not necessarily what I call them but some dso. kbye 😊 x

{Requested}

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i am weak forgive me guys Klance is still my OTP

Forgive me guys, I had to give it a try! When @cheesefakefactory told me (pumped af)  this was a thing I couldn’t help falling for it, ughu
There’s so much lovely fanart around already and since I’m really bad at thinking of character designs myself I chose to go by @istehlurvz ‘s version (I hope you don’t mind ;;;; )
And whoever came up with the name of this ship deserves a fuckin’ medal, honestly!

Honestly, I’m all down for angsty shit and Lance being self conscious and stuff and I really enjoy all the theories about Lotor luring him away from the group by making him feel special.. but I think it would take more than a wink to make him change sides.

Here’s a “cleaner” version as well 8′D

SO I hope you enjoy this <3

• emergency commissions •

2

170327; #HappyLalisaDay
iridescent: producing a display of rainbow-like colours

So BTS Jimin changed his haircolor to blonde

As if we wouldn’t notice they are trying to copy BAP’s iconic warrior look

LMAO nice try. Changing your haircolor to blonde to copy BAP the kings of kpop to gain some attention and relevancy from BABYZ.  

Home | Domestic Life

Summary: You finally get home with Tom after a long press tour junket.

Characters: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,153

A/N: Y’all wanted domestic life with Tom, so here it is!! This will be an on-going series, with no real plot. I just want to keep the theme of the imagines grouped. I hope you guys enjoy this and welcome to the Domestic Life series :)


It had been an exhausting few weeks for Tom after his long press junket tour for Spider-Man: Homecoming. You were there for a week and felt tired, so you could imagine how he was feeling. He had invited you to join him for the last week because he missed you too much. You were guessing Harrison and Harry weren’t enough to keep him company. However, today was the day you headed back to London with Tom and you were so excited.

“We will now be arriving in Heathrow. Welcome to London,” the pilot announced.

“We’re home,” he said and kissed you softly.

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Am I the only one who does not want kpop to be so worldwide known??

Don’t get me wrong, but the idea of kpop being recognized in every corner makes me worried and sick. I like being part of some fandom which is not known everywhere. I like to be in a group of people who enjoy same music and do not spit so much hate. I don’t want kpop become same trash as half of today’s music. And if this continues it will be the same. And another worry is that our beloved boys and girls will be faced to too much pressure. They have such tight schedules right now… how about in few more years? I am not ARMY, but I like BTS… and I am worried that if their popularity will grow, they won’t be able to handle it… and it’s not the only group.

Am I the only one who don’t want kpop videos with one billion views? I am biggest fan of not-that-but-still-underrated groups, but I don’t want them as famous as EXO or BTS, because I know how hard this would be for them. I just want them to be more recognized among kpop world and that they could win some music shows.

I hope I won’t offend anyone. I just wanted to state my worries where may kpop and its protagonists end if it spreads more and more. I just want to stop it. At the beginning it made me happy, now I am more anxious.

Rising Sign Vibes ✨

Took a different approach to this. This is based mainly off archetypes! It’s how each archetype might come off when you’re just meeting them and deciding who is gonna do what during a group project. Enjoy!

Aries Rising: woa, i get such a vibe of power and strength from you guys… seems like you can do anything you set your mind to. you’re such a go getter and so driven… would you like to lead the study group?

Taurus Rising: okay we just met, but i feel like i am at home around you?? such a warm vibe is going on here. just wanna hangout and watch movies and eat some junk food… want to have the study group at your house?

Gemini Rising: you’re so talkative! yes, i’d love to hear your thoughts on everything. such an interesting vibe to you folks… you should be the writer or note taker for our study group, i feel like you’ll get all the details right and make it intriguing!

Cancer Rising: it’s strange how i feel like you have these walls up, but i get this vibe of such nurturing deepness from you. i really want to get to know you. just curious about what’s underneath… also can you help Taurus rising organize that study group at their house? i feel like you’ll be great at making us all feel comfortable!

Leo Rising: honestly getting such a confident vibe from you. seems like you know what you’re doing and are really great at getting us all talking. the attention is on you… wanna give the presentation for the study group?

Virgo Rising: i get a real analytical, detail-oriented vibe from you. seems like you are paying attention and observing everything that’s going on really well… would you like to help Gemini Rising with the writing? i feel like we’re going to get an A with your added practical approach to things.

Libra Rising: you’re so full of charming vibes and so nice! i hope we become friends after this group. oh no! we are a little behind schedule… do you think you could negotiate with the teacher about things? you’re friendliness might just help get our deadline extended.

Scorpio Rising: you’re so intriguing… i get a vibe of mystery. you seem like you have a deeper, more intense approach to things… wanna answer the critical thinking questions for the study group? i feel like you’d have an incredibly unique take on things.

Sagittarius Rising: i get a vibe of adventure and knowledge from you. you seem so interested in all that the world has to offer. always jumping headfirst into new things… wanna do the research for our study group? i bet you’ll be able to find out so much from so many different sources.

Capricorn Rising: wow! i thought Aries Rising was the boss, but you’re approach to everything is a little more logical and careful. i get a vibe that you’re a hard worker and really know what you’re doing… help Aries Rising lead with your cool, calm attitude and steady planning?

Aquarius Rising: you’re cool, detached vibe is intriguing and also a little intimidating. you come off smart as a whip and seem very out of the box… you should help Scorpio Rising answer the questions for our group. i feel like your eccentric views will pair nicely with their deepness!

Pisces Rising: i get a real head in the clouds vibe from you guys. you seem really artistic and profound… would you like to create the artwork or slideshow? i bet you’ll make it so beautiful. oh! and stop being late to our study group!

You honestly don’t understand how sad it is to stan groups from small labels and see how many blogs end up going on hiatus/giving up completely because they just dont feel like their time and effort is going anywhere. Please know that you are a blessing to the fandom and the group itself and all of your hard work has been acknowledged by many and we love and appreciate you for doing what you do or have done in the past. 💕🌸💕

LMAO so I read every tag on my artwork and someone left the ANGRIEST TAGS!! 

LIKE? HAHA? OK?

oh no no klance here

op’s intentions DEfinitely weren’t to make it klance (they were. straight up added extra blush bcos i wanted keith 2 look more gay for lance. guess it wasnt enough. guess i needed to put MAXIMUM blush. theres literally always a backstory to my art when i draw - ie what was happening before the drawing took place. this was straight up klance. cool beans.)

101 litre of tears

In regards to Kwon Hyunbin’s attitude on produce 101 during the team performance practices, I personally feel that Hyunbin is being misunderstood due to what mnet has purposefully edited and shown to its viewers. I’m sharing my personal views about this because this can be the difference between being eliminated and debuting. 

During the Pick Me practice we were able to see how hardworking Hyunbin was, he practiced the dance together with other fellow trainees and its obvious how much Hyunbin is lacking in his dance skills, as he was unable to learn the dance choreography up to speed and has missed certain moves. However Hyunbin is very honest and very aware of how much he is lacking, it is clear that he makes up for his lack of skill with devotion and hard work. 

I understand that Hyunbin is lacking in skills and experience in comparison to the other trainees however that doesn’t mean he’s completely lacking in will, commitment and hard work. It is extremely obvious how hardworking he is, however due to his lack of experience in training Hyunbin is not a fast learner and thus requires more time than others to fully familiarise himself with the routine. Hyunbin practised until late and even practiced the song in bed before sleeping and we could all see he practically fell asleep while holding his lyrics sheet. 

During Hyunbin’s personal evaluation recording unfortunately he blanked out due to nervousness and anxiety which unfortunately cost him the opportunity to move up in rank. I personally believe that this particular stumble really affected Hyunbin because he genuinely thought he would have been able to show the trainers and viewers how much he has improved. Hyunbin’s mentality and confidence significantly dropped following his failure to move up in the grade rank evaluation.

Hyunbin’s hard work and efforts are strongly acknowledged amongst the fellow trainees and they all share kind words of encouragement to Hyunbin. They sympathise with him even more us they saw very clearly how hard he trained and it is extremely unfortunate that nervousness and anxiety took over him, preventing him from showcasing what he had practised for. 

From very early on we as viewers were shown Hyunbin’s true personality, we see clearly he is just as hardworking and devoted as any A B C D or F ranking trainee, however it is unfortunate that Mnet had decided to depict Hyunbin very differently and negatively during the recent Team Performance practice, in episode 4. I was rather unimpressed with Mnet’s choice to focus solely on Hyunbin’s struggles, I would have much rather enjoyed seeing how Jonghyun lead the group and the groups vocal practices, especially since their vocalist Kim Jaehwan is an individual trainee and was also struggling with the choreography. Mnet’s choice to focus on Hyunbin and Jonghyun’s interactions lead to viewers to see only the negatives. Mnet had edited the sequence as to confuse and manipulate the viewers into seeing Hyunbin very negatively which is rather unfair. 

As previously mentioned Hyunbin is definitely not the fastest learner among the bunch due to having no experience in training, however since practicing for the first mission until now he has shown he is slowly adapting and has learned to improve. I believe it was a blessing for Hyunbin to be chosen by Minhyun as he is now given to the opportunity to work alongside Jonghyun. Jonghyun was so incredibly patient and understanding to Hyunbin, he lead the team and Hyunbin in detail step by step. He also continually praised and encouraged Hyunbin that he also could follow the routine well, I believe this was certainly vital in Hyunbin’s overall improvement. As the team mission was right after the rank evaluation I believe Hyunbin’s personal confidence must have dropped significantly as he failed to move up in rank. He must have had so much self doubt built up within him as he believed no matter how much effort, and hard work he put into practicing, he would still not improve. However under Jonghyun’s sincere guidance Hyunbin made progress little by little, Jonghyun also helped Hyunbin rekindle his lost confidence and spirit.

Unfortunately during the dance practice evaluation by their dance coach Hyunbin once again was unable to showcase what he had learnt properly. Also since he is a slow learner I believe at this stage he most likely wasn’t fully familiar with the routine, now as previously mentioned he is  slow learner thus he will need a little more time than others. Which is fine as long as he continues to practice hard and doesn’t lose focus of his goal, he will soon build up more skill and be able to learn at the same pace as his fellow trainees. However it is unfortunate that the dance trainer isn’t on the same page as Hyunbin, but thats understandable as he is looking at the bigger picture and is worried that Hyunbin’s lack of skills may bring down the overall performance. 

Hyunbin himself is the most aware of his skills and abilities hence he knows that he most definitely is not as prepared for this training evaluation with the trainer. When Hyunbin alongside Jaehwan are asked to showcase the routine they have learnt, they unfortunately do not perform to standard and maybe Hyunbin’s nerves and anxiety got to him again and he was unable to showcase what he has learnt. Jonghyun himself stated that he was confident in what Jaehwan and Hyunbin have learnt thus far as he was there guiding them along so he knows that they have learnt the routine and even though the weren’t the most amazing dancers, Jonghyun is aware that they would be able to complete the routine well. Jonghyun stated that his members should be able to do well, meaning he is aware of their abilities and knows that his members did do their best to learn the routine as everyone else, however he is nervous because he understands that his members are nervous and yes mistakes can happen. 

I personally felt that is was extremely unfortunate that Jonghyun was pointed out as being the reason his members did not remember the routine. It felt extremely unfair since he was shown to have sincerely lead and guided the team really well during practice. Even though he was lectured Jonghyun still believed that it was his fault that he did not lead the team well enough. In reality each and every person learns at their own pace, and thats fine as we will all reach the finish line at our own pace. 

I felt that Mnet’s choice to solely focus Hyunbin’s struggles to be so unfair as I would have enjoyed to see the whole teams dynamics together, more of Minhyun as he was the one who created this team overall, Seongwoo as he was the groups centre who was not lacking in dance or vocals, or maybe show us how he was struggling with the routine but picked himself up(similar to his struggles during the rank evaluation) and Jaehwan the individual trainee who shined with his vocals but needed a little more guidance with dance. I would have liked to see the team help both Jaehwan and Hyunbin with the routine. Also Daniel who was shown to be a bit at ill one point, it would have been nice to see more of Jonghyun’s interactions with each member as their leader, but unfortunately we were only shown what Mnet wanted us to see and that was only Hyunbin’s struggles and how he was bringing the team down, even though it was nice to see Jonghyun as the genuine and sincere leader to Hyunbin, it would have been even greater to see Jonghyun as the sincere leader to each one of his members. I believe that if we were shown the struggles of this as a whole, then none of us would have seen Hyunbin so negatively because we would instead see how this team was able to overcome each obstacle together.

Mnet’s choice to only showcase these various scenes was most certainly pre meditated, they knew that by showing these specific scenes it would paint Hyunbin in a very specific and negative manner. While it is true that Hyunbin is lacking in many departments, I was sure he wasn’t lacking in hard work and determination as shown during the rank evaluation, hence to see Hyunbin acting like so did make me disappointed and question his recent change in behaviour. However it is simple to understand as Hyunbin had never been a trainee before in his life he is now still adapting to trainee schedules and routines thus he will want to rest more than others, not because he is lazy but because he physically cannot keep up to the other members. Kwon Hyunbin is not lazy he simply has not built up the same stamina and resistance as the other members hence he is still adapting to the long hours of training, Hyunbin is physically not able to keep up but he is trying to. As Hyunbin was a trainee in a modelling agency I doubt he underwent intense and rigorous training hours as his members in actual talent agencies. 

Kim Jonghyun - training period - 8 years 2 months 

Hwang Minhyun - training period - 6 years 3 months 

Kim Jaehwan - training period - 4 years 2 months

Kang Daniel - training period - 2 years 1 months

Ong Seongwu - training period - 8 months

Kwon Hyunbin - training period - 3 months 

These type of scenes where Hyunbin is shown to be not practicing, resting or when he was shown hiding in a small practice room seem to be very ambiguous as it was never shown why he was doing so. When the members are tired they may wish to rest and that is completely fair, however they only show Hyunbin resting making it seem like he was the only one do so while everyone practiced continuously, obviously that is untrue as I’m sure they all practiced and rested together. I’m aware that Hyunbin took more breaks but as previously mentioned he is simply not physically able to keep up with the members, also its unfair that Mnet did not show when Hyunbin would get back into practicing, as Hyunbin would rest for a bit but he would always come back to practicing, and overtime I’m sure he would develop stronger stamina and resistance to practice with his members. Also it was super ambiguous for Mnet to show Hyunbin hiding in the small practice room, we could all see he was holding a lyrics sheet and had an mp3 player with him, Hyunbin could have been practicing by himself because he was aware that he is lacking. Maybe he wanted to quickly improve by himself that by the time he went back to vocal practice he would be able to show his members how he’s improved. Hence once again I am disappointed in Mnet’s choice to only focus on the groups dance as opposed to vocal practice. 

Also yet another ambiguous scene by Mnet is when Hyunbin has trouble with his contact lenses, for all we know Hyunbin could have went back to the dormitory sorted out the issue and immediately returned to practice with his team members, we don’t know because Mnet never showed us that hence it leads the viewers guessing and can lead to them assuming he went back to the dorm to sleep and took hours to come back to practice. 

Daniels cut in particular was also very ambiguous because we do not know exactly when he said those words, it could have been when Hyunbin left to fix his contacts or maybe even during the beginning when Jonghyun was teaching Hyunbin step by step through the choreography, or even during vocal practice where Hyunbin might have also been struggling. The truth is we can never be sure because this is Mnet’s intention, they are intentionally being ambiguous and this is incredibly wrong because this can be the difference between being eliminated and debuting, and that goes for all of the trainees because I’m sure Hyunbin’s not the only one being negatively portrayed. 

During another one of the teams dance practices Hyunbin once again is shown leaving the practice room momentarily before being called back in by Leader Jonghyun. Here we are shown a sequence where Hyunbin is being lectured for not putting in all his effort and determination to train. Hyunbin is once again reminded that if he doesn’t do well at all than thats all everyone will see of him, not to mention it will also bring the team down overall. I’m extremely glad that Hyunbin was lectured by Jonghyun because it’s obvious to anyone who looks Hyunbin had momentarily lost his drive and confidence to do well. He wasn’t able to show himself in the first challenge and thus lost the chance to move up in rank, he wasn’t able to show himself during dance evaluation and again lost his confidence in his ability to even improve. 

Let’s backtrack to the first mission, when Hyunbin was unable to to perform due to nerves and anxiety he broke down because he felt that despite all his efforts he was just not going to improve and that heavily broke his spirits. So now that Jonghyun is lecturing him we can see that Hyunbin is looking down and fidgeting with his hands at one point. Personally I feel that Hyunbin is feeling extremely guilty because he is aware that his lacking self is bringing down the teams overall performance. The reason why I think so is because I also share similar self doubts as Hyunbin, when I’m confronted like Hyunbin by Jonghyun I look down, I fidget, quietly apologise and don’t even try to explain myself, I do this not because I don’t care that I’m being lectured or yelled at but because I’m feeling extreme guilt inside. Hyunbin is feeling extreme guilt, and disappointment towards himself, the boy wants to do well but momentarily he has lost his drive, his spirits and his confidence. 

Hence why I’m so glad Jonghyun is lecturing him because Jonghyun questions why he is in the competition. Jonghyun shares with Hyunbin that for him this competition is is last chance to succeed, he bets his life on this. I believe after hearing Jonghyun’s sincere words Hyunbin was also reminded of why he was here to compete, Hyunbin was able to find his drive and motivation to work even harder to succeed. 

Jonghyun really deserves the title of Nation’s Leader for he showed just so much patience and understanding with Hyunbin, I’m so thankful that Hyunbin was able to train alongside Jonghyun as without him maybe Hyunbin would have continued to spiral down after losing his confidence and motivation. I’m glad that Hyunbin was able to pick himself up and also hope he continues to work even harder in the future. 

We can see obviously here that Hyunbin after being reprimanded by Jonghyun was able to finally show both himself, his team and the trainers that he is a genuine and hardworking person. With Jonghyun’s sincere and genuine guidance we were able to see a perfect performance by all the members as a team. 

From the beginning we were able to see what type of person Kwon Hyunbin truly is, he has a drive, he is hardworking and very determined because he a like many others have given up so much to compete in Produce 101. Hyunbin was a very well established model prior to Produce 101 I knew his face from all the fashion weeks and editorials in which he appeared in, give him 1-2 years and his face might have appeared in many foreign editorials and advertisements, he could have also walked in many NY, London and Paris fashion week runways. Because of this I personally find it easy to cross off him wanting to be an idol for fame because as a model Hyunbin could have easily established more fame and success for himself. However Hyunbin has chosen to not take part in this season and for those who don’t know the fashion industry moves extremely fast, many designers create their collections a year in advance hence various of trends are already being considered way before it is released on the market. Designers don’t wait for trends, they create them hence Hyunbin choosing to participate in Produce 101 for the duration of 5-6 months has drastically impacted on his career. Even if Hyunbin does not debut and chooses to return to modelling after Produce 101 has ended it’ll still be a significant challenge for Hyunbin to be hired and casted because he has now missed a whole season and within this time numerous of male models would have taken his spot. The fashion and modelling industry is harsh, because their are millions of models around the globe happy to take your position. 

However none of that matters to Hyunbin because he sincerely wishes to debut, hence in spite of how you once viewed Hyunbin I hope you can all now see who he genuinely is and not what Mnet has portrayed him to be. 

gruntledbananafish  asked:

Hi there! I have a situation and I'm not sure what to do. I just joined a D&D campaign and I'm really enjoying it. However, one of the guys in the campaign made a rape joke in the middle of the session. Everyone kind of ignored it. I don't know the guy super-well so I'm not comfortable talking to him directly, but it really made me feel like shit, especially because I have some personal experiences (which I don't wanna disclose). Should I talk to the DM about this? What do I say?

I can’t tell you what to do, or how to feel in those situations. I can only tell you what I would do.

I would talk to the DM right away, and I wouldn’t apologize for my feelings. This is one of those things that I think is pretty binary: rape jokes aren’t okay, and I don’t want to be around anyone who thinks that they are. If the DM makes excuses or isn’t willing to take your concerns seriously, I would tear my character sheet up right there and leave the group.

The problem isn’t just that this guy thought it was okay to make that joke, but that everyone at the table didn’t have a problem with it. I don’t know how far you want to take it, and what your personal red line is, but I’d talk to the DM first, and then I would ask for a moment at the beginning of the next session to address the group about it.

I would say something like, “I really enjoy this campaign, and I like being part of this group. But the last time we played, I felt really uncomfortable when a rape joke was made at the table, and nobody seemed to have a problem with it. If I’m going to continue to be part of this group, I want you to know that I’m not okay with that. Maybe you don’t know that 1 in 4 women has been sexually assaulted or raped, and maybe you don’t know that when you make those jokes or go along with those jokes, you’re communicating to the women around you that you don’t take it seriously, and that you’re subtly communicating to the men around you that rape and assault isn’t a big deal. Literally every woman I know has been sexually harassed at some point in their lives. More than half have been sexually assaulted, and I know several rape survivors. Rape jokes aren’t funny to me.

“I hope that this was a thing that was just sort of blurted out, that wasn’t considered, that doesn’t reflect your values or who you are. Like I said, I’m having a really good time being part of this campaign, but if this sort of thing is not a problem for you, I can’t be part of this, and I’m ready to leave right now if that’s the case.”

Or something like that. I think you get the gist of what I’m going for. If they minimize your feelings, get up and leave. There will always be other games to play in. If they want to deflect it minimize it, because they’re embarrassed, give them a moment to react, and see if you can engage in dialog about the realities of sexual assault for women.

I always believe that it’s worth making the effort to educate and enlighten someone, but that’s not the only way to deal with these things, but that’s absolutely not your responsibility. Their feelings aren’t your responsibility. What I’m suggesting is that you make it clear that this isn’t funny or acceptable, and that if they think it is, you’re not going to be part of the group. In a perfect world, they’ll sincerely apologize. In a perfect world, they will realize that they hadn’t seriously considered the reality of sexual assault, and they’ll own their actions.

I know that a lot of gamers read this Tumblr, and I know that a lot of women read this Tumblr. Maybe someone else has advice or experience they’d care to share with you.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, and I hope that it’s resolved in a way that lets you continue to play in the campaign, and helps these dudes grow a level in humanity.