i eat stickers all the time

always sunny lines that aren’t funny out of context but make me die laughing every time
  • tell me about mac’s famous mac and cheese
  • well far be it from me to keep the flower of you from flourishing but uh
  • taked baby. meet at later bar night or day sometime
  • poconos
  • goddammit jack bauer, you really are the man
  • you’re a stone cold fox, margaret
  • cat in the wall, eh? okay, now you’re talking my language
  • i’m a full on rapist, y’know?
  • I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME DUDE
  • THIS ISN’T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT’S OVER!
  • boys are out tonight huh
  • nah this will keep just fine
  • is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE ALL THE TIME?
  • i think the problem here is that your body quit. your bird quit. and unfortunately it’s no longer legit.
  • you ever been in a storm wally
  • “boy it sure is a hot one” “YEAH????”
  • if you do not give my sister her stories and a new room i will UNLEASH MY FURY UPON THIS HOSPITAL LIKE THE GUST OF A THOUSAND WINDS
  • YOU WILL CALL HER!!!!!
  • i’m getting a high ride, but the shorts aren’t preventing me from doing what i need to do
  • alright alright alright

anonymous asked:

hi! love your account! could you do a scenario of what shinee would be like as preschoolers?

hello there! i’ll try my best anon! 

onew: 

  • really likes legos
  • does NOT like sharing them 
  • lives for nap time 
  • chicken nugs for lunch all day eryday 
  • pororo band-aids all over him 
  • falls down a lot but never cries 
  • will pass out anywhere 
  • tried to eat a crayon bc he was hungry and couldn’t wait for lunch time 

jonghyun: 

  • really likes knocking over legos (”I AM GODZILLA”) 
  • therefore is at war with jinki 
  • crazy gelled up hair 
  • is not allowed to have apple juice anymore bc it makes him wayyyyyyy too hyper 
  • “jonghyun stop taking off your clothes”  
  • always has one of those plastic recorders in his hand (toot toot) 

key: 

  • adorable!!!!!!! in OVERALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • stickers all over his folders and clothes
  • draws on his desk (and taemin) with a tube of lipstick which magically disappears when the teacher looks for it (”you can’t prove it was me”) 
  • learned a curse word
  • will not stop saying it
  • time out time forever 

minho:

  • ALWAYS running and the teacher is always chasing him
  • runs like naruto
  • LIGHT UP SHOES
  • the kid who actually prefers apples/carrots over oreos for snack time 
  • refused to come! back! inside! after recess 
  • buys extra pretzels to share 
  • named his hands and feet 

taemin: 

  • the bowlcut
  • carries around a backpack that is twice his size 
  • literally nothing in said backpack 
  • looks like an angel but is a menace to society 
  • flipped all the chairs in the classroom upside down, refuses to make eye contact when asked why he did that 
  • set the class hamster free 
  • hugs all the girls 
  • a fly landed on him and he was inconsolable for an hour 
it’s always sunny in philadelphia sentence starters!

❝ Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby-Doo? ❞
❝ Look at me, psychological damage up to here! ❞
❝ I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! ❞
❝ Am I gay for God? You betcha. ❞
❝ Be gone, vile man! Be gone from me! ❞
❝ Well first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down. ❞
❝ Yeah, but we didn’t come here to play with  stray dogs and trash, man. ❞
❝ Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze into a job cannon and fire off into job land where jobs grow on jobbies?! ❞
❝ I’m eating because I’m very uncomfortable. ❞
❝ I’m gonna have a really hard time if we’re both cannibals and racists. ❞
❝ I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong. ❞
❝ Everybody’s dying, bitch. Let’s get you some fruit. ❞
❝ When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash. ❞
❝ I will smack your face off of your face! ❞
❝ Take care of yourself… or whatever people say. ❞
❝ We all have cats we’d like to be playing with right now. ❞
❝ I will eat your babies, bitch! ❞
❝ I’m relaxing, I’m getting blackout drunk, and you’re leaving me alone. ❞
❝ Later, boners! ❞
❝ Do not call these shorts white trash! ❞
❝ If some old boner gives me attitude, I’m gonna spit in his face. ❞
❝ I eat stickers all the time, dude! ❞
❝ I’ve got the stride of a gazelle. A beautiful, beautiful gazelle person. ❞
❝ You know, you light one bitch on fire and everyone freaks out! ❞
❝ Cats do not abide by the laws of nature, you don’t know shit about cats. ❞
❝ If you don’t have car insurance, you better have dental, because I am going to smash your teeth into dust! ❞
❝ I can go from flaccid to erect in a moment’s notice. ❞
❝ I mean, trees? Everywhere trees?! What the hell is this place? ❞
❝ I’ll tell you what’s not cool: crashing my car into a building, exploding a grenade inside of it, and then convincing your friends and family that you’re dead! ❞
❝ Oh my God! She just ate an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! ❞
❝ Hello fellow American, this you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. Taxes, they’ll be lower… son. The democratic vote is the right thing to do, so do. ❞
❝ I stepped in front of a bus and it missed me. I can’t even get a bus to hit on me. ❞
❝ I’m having feelings again, like some kind of fourteen year old kid or something. ❞
❝ I don’t think these dogs have masters, I think they play by their own rules. ❞
❝ I have a bleached asshole! ❞
❝ With real power comes real responsibility and I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want the money… and the illusion of power. ❞

4

They did over cooked and bruce gave me a giant ass sandwich, and obviously after not eating all day I had a few bites which were apparently being shown on screen for quite some time because a handful of people came up to me after the show asking me why the fuck I would eat that sandwich but when life hands you free food in a place that charges $5 for water you don’t say no. Also I got completely covered in mayo, geoff gave me what I’m pretty sure was a sticker backing to wipe off but then gavin gave me his apron and that was a lot better to clean off with lol

  • Normani: You ate the whole thing?
  • Camila: Yeah. It was pretty gross.
  • Normani: The stem and the core?!
  • Camila: You didn't tell me not to eat the stem, Mani!
  • Normani: Did you eat the stickers that are all over it?!
  • Camila: Yeah, it was gross!
  • Normani: Of course it's gross, it's a sticker, Camila!
  • Camila: I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME, DUDE!

Vegans act like they’re victims and get bullied by meat eaters all the time

But

- They’re the assholes calling meat eaters “murders”.

- They’re the assholes forcing their carnivore pets to have a vegan diet which is unhealthy for the pets.

- They’re the assholes that upload pictures of animals being inhumanly slaughtered, pretending this happens in all slaughter houses.

- They’re the assholes trying to get meat removed.

- They’re the assholes that vandalised ‘STOP’ signs in my town and local city (and other places) by sticking a sticker that says “eating animals” so the sign says “STOP EATING ANIMALS”
(I don’t know why they haven’t been removed yet)

So fuck vegans, they’re a fucking pain in the ass.

(FYI, this doesn’t apply to all vegans, just the ones that act like the assholes listed above)

Milestone anti-Trump giveaway

Ladies and gentlemen, this blog has now reached

So @wendigoskitchen & I decided it’s time for another give-away!

As you all know, Hannibal Lecter is not a fan of rude people.

He’s also not a fan of Putin and the puppet he managed to install as POTUS.

So we’re giving away two “Eat the Rude” anti-Trump pins

three “Eat the Rude” anti-Trump stickers:

and one Hannibal for President sticker of your choice:

Give-away rules under the cut: 

Keep reading

Scratch - Part 6 - (Steve x Reader)

Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh

Summary: (Y/N) and Steve have been best friends since New York, so when when they are both going through a dry spell they agree to a friends with benefits relationship.

A/N: I just wrote the last part of Scratch and I can’t wait for you all to read it. I still don’t know if I will write an epilogue, but I will give myself a few days off of writing before I decide. Total word count is over 17k. Also I completely procrastinated on writing an essay due today so I kinda have to work on that. I’m half way through BSing my way though it, so wish me luck.

Warnings: light smut I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

“I got take out,” I call out setting the many boxes filled with food on the counter of the kitchen.

“Did you get pot stickers,” Sam asked taking one of the boxes and opening it.

“Enough to feed an army,” I grin. “Or in our case, the world’s mightiest superheroes.”

“I thought you didn’t like being called a super hero,” Steve said entering the room and taking the box I handed him.

“I’m not a fan of it since I don’t actually have a superpower,” I shrug. “But I’ll still take the compliment.”

“Are there pot stickers,” Nat asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Nat I am disappointed,” I frown. “You really think I would get take out and not get pot stickers?”

“Just making sure,” she shrugs grabbing one of the boxes from the table.

The rest of the team eventually showed up and grabbed their box and we all sat around the living area eating.

“I still think one of the most memorable missions was the one we had just outside of Vegas,” Sam said as he reached for another pot sticker from the box on the coffee table.

“Was the mission what was memorable, or was it the long weekend we took at Caesar’s palace,” Steve laughed.

“Definitely the long weekend,” I speak up remembering the small vacation we had taken.

“I think we should do it again,” Tony says making everyone’s attention turn to him.

“I agree,” I grin. “When was the last time we took a vacation?”

“The long weekend in Vegas,” Nat says.

“Then it’s settled,” Tony pulls out his phone and tapped a few buttons. “Everyone pack your bags. We leave for Vegas in the morning.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

If Iris extracts food from a painting, could he eat it?

Only if he doesn’t burn it by accident

i absolutely love the stickers but where is leaf;;

In your heart… just believe

Can I have more lillium x iris arts pls I’m desperate —-

If I had more pairs of hands and time it’d be all I draw im sorry dude

anonymous asked:

More headcanons!!?? BMC HCS are the best!!! People should give more. (Do u have any btw??? Ones u haven't told us I should say)

OK HHUHUHHUH these are all kinda shitty but yea

  • jeremy is a huge picky eater 
  • michael with eat anything??? all the time
  • rich sings his lungs out in the shower to his favorite songs 
  • jake has recorded him singing several times 
  • jeremy is super crazy flexible
  • christine absolutely loves older nick cartoons and still owns several VHS disney movies  
  • brooke and christine always have old movie night dates where they cuddle and eat a tub of icecream 
  • jeremy and michael have seen the hobbit together 9 times 
  • rich and christine covered jakes casts in stickers and only let people write on them with glitter jell pens
  • michaels favorite snack is a peanut butter and banana sandwich
  • rich is always snacking on sunflower seeds and has several oral stim toys 
  • jeremy has a few fidget toys
  • after rich gets desquipped it took jeremy a bit to warm up to him but they all became really good friends
  • jenna brooke chloe and christine always have to see the shittiest movie in theaters when theres little to no one there and laugh at how awful it is
  • christine has covered jeremys face in washable tattoos on several occasions and has a folder on her phone dedicated to pictures of him like that

thats all i got 

Milestone+Valentine’s giveaway

Ladies and gentlemen, this blog has now reached

Also it’s Valentine’s, so @wendigoskitchen & I decided it’s time for a give-away!

As you all know, Hannibal Lecter is not a fan of rude people.

He’s also not a fan of the very rude Putin puppet currently installed as POTUS.

But he loves Valentine’s Day, now that he has Will Graham to share it with!

So we’re giving away two “Eat the Rude” anti-Trump pins

three “Eat the Rude” anti-Trump stickers:

and one Snannigram sticker, like the one Bryan Fuller has on his laptop!

(You can also get it in LGBTQ rainbow colors!)

Give-away rules under the cut:

Keep reading

For Megan,

Happy Birthday you silly dork!!!<333

I feel so happy, to be able to see you alive and safe, after everything that you’ve been through. It’s kind of hard for me to find the right words for such a message, im not that good at explaining or talking;;;, but as nerdy as this message will come out i guess it wouldnt matter. ;^)

Everytime i check your blog, i see it full of love from people and from you aswell, which aways cover the sad moments the blog had. I still remember the first day i found your blogs, the first day i baked a cake as a gift, drawing you stuff although i suck at drawing;;; , or the emotional messages- ah man ,were those so long ago? It literally feels like yesterday. And months by months you seem to be growing so much,and weird coming from me considering that im younger than you..haha. You’re that kind of person who wouldnt be forgotten that easily, and i mean in a good way.Remembering the pickle family, all those pants eating thing, the stickers,drawings,comics,the gifs, the minecraft times too? hahaha. They were all such great memories that were created with your help, with your positivity and with -just you,existing.

Im happy that i met you, and although i couldnt help you that much in the past year, at least i know i tried and that im happy i got to know many sides of you, personalities and of course friends of yours.

Look at you know, strong, indipendent and ready to fight whatever comes in your way. Many people told you in the past that if you keep fighting you’ll get strong, lets face it, they didnt slutter ;D 

You are amazing and we are all trying to be there for each other.

This year might be different than the others that you had celebrated, but i just want you to know that you are loved by so many people, just by your smile, laugh or you being a smol dork.You care so much for people Megan, please continue being the amazing person you are, we all are so proud of having you here, spending all time together and having fun. 

                                   Happy Birthday, pickle mom(yup, didnt forget about that)

   @sai-shou                                                                                 with love  Cat.

  • Bonnie: Jeremy, give him the pear.
  • Jeremy: I can’t, I just ate it.
  • Bonnie: ...The whole thing?
  • Jeremy: Yeah. It was pretty gross and I...
  • Bonnie: The stem? And - and the core?
  • Jeremy: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME NOT TO EAT THE STEM, BONNIE!
  • Bonnie: Did you eat the stickers that are all over it?
  • Jeremy: Yeah, it was gross!
  • Bonnie: Of course it’s gross... it’s a sticker!
  • Jeremy: I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME!
Peaches (A Produce 101 Season 2 Fanfic)

Writer’s Note:

OMG, I should really be studying right now, but I saw this prompt and I couldn’t handle it anymore- I had to write it out. Shoutout to @pd101s2prompts for some of the most hilarious prompts I have ever seen.

Blurb:

It was just another day at the broduce dorms. Everyone is still a little shaken from last week’s eliminations, but they can’t dwell on it for long: they had one more challenge before them. But today, something else was causing the boys to be restless. That morning, Daniel disappeared. What replaced him was a…. a peach? Little did they know, this peace was no ordinary peach…


“Daniel~~ Daniel~~, YAH! You rascal come out this instance!” Jisung called out. He has been roaming around the dorms, and training center for hours now looking for Daniel- but he was no where to be seen. This was very very weird, Daniel wasn’t the kind to run away, and he didn’t have any reason to. Besides, all his clothes, shoes, hats and valuables were all still in the dorm. Everything was in its right place, except for Daniel.

“Aish, when I catch that kid I’m gonna strangle him,” Jisung declared as he stormed back into Daniel’s room, for the fifth time, hoping to find some clue of his whereabouts. Nothing. Everything was as it was supposed to be, except for this random peach that sat in the middle of Daniel’s bunk. Irritated, Jisung plucked the peach from the bed and demanded, “Where did you take my Daniel?!!”

“Heh, I must been an idiot. Aish, I better ask Minhyun, maybe he will know,” Jisung sighed as he proceeded to put the peach down on the adjacent table. As Jisung was about to leave, something caught his attention at the corner of his eye. Did the peach just move? A little shocked, Jisung rubbed his eyes vigorously and stared at the pink fluffy peach at sat on the table. The peach gave a little wiggle, ever so slightly, but definitely a wiggle.

“Oh mai gawd!” Jisung flew back in shock. “Did you just move?” 

The peach rocked back and forth (as if imitating a nod) in response. 

“OH MAI GAWD! OH MAI GAWD! Who are you? WHAT are you? OH MAI GAWD!” Jisung was hysterical by now.

By some weird sorcery the peach gave a little hop.

“OH MAI GAWD! No way, no way, NO WAY! You… you can’t be Daniel right??” Jisung stared on in shock.

Once again the peach rocked back and forth.

“OH MAI GAWD! GUYS!!!! NIEL BECAME A PEACH!!!! OH MAI GAWD!! NIEL BECAME A PEACH!!!!” Jisung screamed as he scooped up the peach and dashed out towards the training center. 

At the training center, the 18 boys crowded around Jisung and ‘Daniel’. Initially, nobody believed Jisung, some even joked that his age was causing him to hallucinate. That was until Jisung showed how Daniel the peach responded to his words. For a rare 3 minutes the training center was silent: it took a while for it all to sink in.

“What…. what… what do we do????!!” Jisung cried out in panic. “Is my Niel going to be a peach forever? He had so much more to live for, oh mai gawd.”

Minhyun put a comforting arm around Jisung as he tried to get the panicking ajumma to calm down.

Ever the calm and collected leader Jonghyun said, “Okay, we don’t know how long Daniel will be like this, so the best thing we can do it protect him as best as we can. No peach eating for today, and make sure we have the Daniel peach in sight at all times.”

“What, but peaches are my favorite fruit,” Seonho whined.

“Seonho, I doubt you would want to eat Daniel hyung,” Guanlin replied. 

“But, how will we know that the peach is Daniel?” Jihoon asked, concerned.

“Good point, we need to find a way to identify him,” Jonghyun agreed.

“Here, I fashioned this out of an old name tag,” Daehwi remarked as he handed over a hand written sticker that said “DO NOT EAT, I’M YOUR FRIEND”.

“Perfect! Daniel, I’m sorry but this is the only way,” Jonghyun apologized as he proceeded to stick the sticker onto the peach.

Daniel gave a slight wiggle in reply, indicating that he didn’t mind. The trainees were getting better at understanding his movements.

“Okay, now, we will work in shifts, who will take care of Daniel first?” Jonghyun asked.

“I’ll take care of him first, oh my poor Niel,” Jisung replied after wiping away his tears.

“Thank you Jisung hyung, okay, everyone get back to practice, the finals are coming!” Jonghyun commanded. With that the trainees broke out to their teams and continued with their practice.

Everything seemed to return to normal, but truth be told everyone’s mind was on Daniel. No one could figure out why he would suddenly turn into a peach. And everyone was worried that someone would eat him by accident. Practice for the day was lacklustre, but no one complained– everyone’s mind was on Daniel.

Throughout the day, the boys consistently checked onto each other, reminding each other not to eat peaches. They also made sure that no peaches were ever put near Daniel for fear that there would be a confusion. They also frequently changed shifts, bringing Daniel around the training center, and dorms. It was almost as if the boys had adopted a pet together- just that instead of a puppy, it was a peach, and it wasn’t just a fruit, it was Daniel.

As the evening moon rose, Jisung was in the corner crying again. This time, Sungwoon was trying fruitlessly to comfort him. “What… what if… what if he stays a peach forever? Oh mai gawd, what do I tell his mum?”

Sungwoon could only nod silently. He didn’t really know what to say. Just then Seongwoo walked in, munching on a fluffy fruit. Sungwoon’s eyes widened.

“Seongwoo ah, what are you eating?” Sungwoon asked, fearful of the worst.

“A peach, why? Hyung there are tonnes outside, you want one?” Seongwoo replied with a carefree tone.

Sungwoon’s mind began racing. Who was the last one to take care of Daniel. Was it Dongho? Was it Guanlin? Was it Minki? Oh god… it was Seongwoo. When it dawned upon Sungwoon he bit his tongue, and tried to stay calm, he couldn’t afford to agitate Jisung. 

Too late. Jisung launched at Seongwoo, pinning him against the wall. “DID YOU JUST EAT MY DANIEL?!!! YOU MONSTER!!!”

“What? What? Hyung! Wait, hyung, calm down, I can explain,” a shocked Seongwoo choked.

Sungwoon flew up and began trying to pry the boys apart. “Hyung hyung calm down, let’s listen to Seongwoo, hyung.”

It was no use. 

“What do you have to explain? YOU JUST ATE MY DANIEL!!” Jisung’s yells echoed throughout the dorms, and soon the other boys had gathered at the scene.

“Hyung, hyung please, oh my god I can’t breathe,” Seongwoo’s face was turning purple.

“Hyung let him go!” “Hyung you’re gonna kill him.” “Hyung!” The boys collectively tried to convince Jisung to loosen his grip, but nothing was getting through to our Yoon-Jumma today. He was enraged, and he was out to kill.

“What’s going on?” a familiar voice cut through the chatter, in a rumbling Busan accent. 

Jisung recognized it instantly. He immediately let go of Seongwoo and stared blankly at the crowd that had formed. His vision focused on a tall, smiling boy standing in the middle of the crowd. Without a word, Jisung collapsed to the ground in tears. “Daniel, oh my god Daniel, you’re home.”

“Did… did you think I would eat my husband, oh my god,” Seongwoo remarked as he rubbed his neck.

“Who’s your husband,” Daniel (in human form) protested with a smile.

“Ommo, ommo, ommo-na, Daniel. Seongwoo I’m sorry. Ommo Daniel, you’re back,” Jisung whimpered as he stood up to hug Daniel.

Daniel reciprocated the hug, and some of the boys wiped away the tears that had escaped their eyes.

“What happened Daniel? Why did you turn into a peace?” Woojin asked inquisitively.

“I don’t really know, but it sure was a sweet experience hehe” Daniel winked, sending laughter all across the room. 

That night, as the night got deeper, Daniel shared his experience of being a peach with the boys who sat quietly by his bed listening. It went on and on, until eventually all 20 boys were crammed in Daniel’s room sleeping soundly. It wasn’t the most comfortable set-up, but nights like these were numbered, so they relished in this discomfort. One day closer to the finals. One day closer to the end. One day closer to the next good bye.

Mystic Messenger Life After Ch. 20: END (Zen X MC)

Pairing : Zen X OC

Themes : daily life(is this legit?) romance, [no angst, it’s a happy fic, not yet lol]

Chapter 1 here | Chapter 1.5 (NSFW) here | Chapter 2 here | Chapter 3 here | Chapter 4 here | Chapter 5 here

Chapter 6 here | Chapter 7 here | Chapter 8 here | Chapter 9 here | Chapter 10 here

Chapter 11 here | Chapter 12 here | Chapter 13 here | Chapter 14 here | Chapter 14.5 (NSFW) here | Chapter 15 here

Chapter 16 here |  Chapter 17 here | Chapter 18 here | Chapter 19 here

This is the last chapter, my dear readerss~~ It has been a lovely journey!

Fic posted below:

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