i eat out too much

“Hmm… I’m gaining weight and I don’t have real friends. I should stop eating too much and go out socializing more”
She said while opening a new bag of cookies and pressing play on her computer to watch various kpop groups on crack on youtube.


Jesus Christ, if I told you the crazy shit happening, you’d put me in an asylum. It’s like my life is spiraling toward disaster and there’s no way out. The worst part is, I can’t even talk about it with the person I love the most because she’ll blame herself, and that’s not what I want!

Joel Hammond 1.03

Instant Fic Rec!

Okay, a little story: I had a birthday. (I have them every year, actually.) But this year, I was astonished and delighted by the outpouring of fic gifts from some of the most talented writers, who I’ve been… just so incredibly fortunate to meet and get to know. 

Now, when said birthday hit, @l0vegl0wsinthedark were in the middle of chapter…whatever of Innocent Pureblood and she expressed sorrow for “not having had the time to write a gift for me.” And I could do nothing but laugh, because I was the one taking up all of her time, and every single thing we wrote together felt like a gift. She asked for some prompt ideas – what would I like – and though I told her it was unnecessary, love can be… surprisingly *coughannoyinglycough* persistent (there’s a reason why she writes Draco). I finally blurted out a couple and didn’t think anything else about it – as I said, she’d gifted me with 30+ chapters of fic at that point.

And then today. Today she randomly mentions “oh haha, yeah, I’m just gonna post in a bit,” (so casual, and warning me not to expect anything good, because she’s a bit of a twat like that) and I almost died on the spot. When I got to read it, I’m pretty sure I did die 24974 times, because… this. This is what she gave me:

Title: Hurt Me, Fuck Me (Just Don’t Hate Me)
Author: @l0vegl0wsinthedark
Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy (obvs.)
Word Count: 6k
Rating: Explicit
Content: Insult kink, UST, angry banter, mild violence, frotting, face-fucking, blowjobs, anal fingering, rimming, felching, anal sex.
Summary: Potter is panting moist puffs of air into his face and grinding what is now a full-on erection against Draco’s own, glaring at Draco with the same mixture of confusion-exasperation-helpless-raging want that Draco feels for the git, day after day, coursing through his bloodstream, making him feel at once like he’s flying and drowning.

My thoughts: Come for the smut, stay for the smut + everything else she manages to deftly place in her fics. (She tries to pretend she doesn’t have a heart, that she only writes porn, but all you need do is actually read said porn, and you’ll know that’s not true.) This fic has everyting – pining Draco who doesn’t know why he gets so turned on when Potter insults him (but is willing to take advantage of this fact anyway), confused Harry who doesn’t know wtf is going on with Malfoy (but is aroused enough to take advantage of the situation anyway), snark, insults being flung like arrows, a truly amazing training-fight scene, even more amazing successive sex scenes, and all interspersed with small lines/indications that show how much Draco actually cares about what Harry thinks of him. Granted, I don’t have much experience with insult-kink (which was the prompt – for some reason, I thought it’d be funny for Draco to get turned on by Harry getting irritated and insulting him) but I fully believe thatthere’s a right way and a wrong way to do such things, and @l0vegl0wsinthedark did it perfectly. As she does everything else.


this kid got real ugly

say it with me now–





anonymous asked:

girl, please give me some hc's of penny eating out a puss

Omfg yes. I think about this way too fucking much.

- Other than actual sex, this is his most favorite thing.

- He thinks you always taste really good, but he does it even more when you’re on your period. Not only because of the blood, but because he knows how sensitive you are down there.

- He’d suck on your clit a lot since he knows how much you love it, sometimes even let his two big front teeth scratch against it.

- His long ass tongue could press against your g-spot perfectly.

- You are constantly moaning and screaming his name which he LOVES.

- He growls when you try grabbing or pulling his hair, he doesn’t ever want you to think you’re the one in control.

- You always cum more than once when he goes down on you.

- When you get oversensitive, you start squirming away or squeeze your thighs together. This makes him glare up at you and holds your thighs apart tightly. His eyes change from yellow to red, and sometimes he’ll show you his various rows of teeth. So you sit back and take it, knowing better than to deny him of what he wants.

- Your thighs would always be marked up afterward. Mostly scratch marks from his claws, but also bruises from him grabbing too roughly. And sometimes he’d bite you, he’d gulp on your blood if his teeth pierced through your skin (which almost always happened, and he’d always bandage you up afterward)

- Also, the boy would drool like fucking crazy. Not only from the taste, but from the smell of your arousal. He loves that shit

anonymous asked:

I just checked the tag "Sassmnasters" and saw you requested selfies from followers. Still accepting selfies?

i forgot this was even a tag.

when it’s been a long few weeks, draw a happy best girl to make yourself feel better

Klingons in classic Trek: warrior-poets, sometimes clever and honorable allies, sometimes fearsome but worthy adversaries, with a complex and evolving social and political structure

Klingons in Discovery: sadistic xenophobic cannibal fanatics with three ridged dongs

Originally posted by tngface


im sorry i suck goblin ass at taking pics but heres another janky contribution to the internet

recipe time: congee

Originally posted by itadakimasu-letmeeat

(I couldn’t find a non-anime gif for some reason OTL)

Are you broke af? Want to justify eating a kilo of rice over the course of a week? Then hoo boy do I have a recipe for you. Congee is a rice porridge that can be sweet or savory. It’s perfect for dressing up with witchy ingredients or eating plain. In China it’s primarily a breakfast food while in Japan, I’m told, it’s eaten more when someone is sick. 


Rice (short grain is better)

Water (or broth)

Desired add-ins


  • Measure out how much rice you need. I usually make ½ a cup. If necessary, rinse the rice of extra starch.
  • Time for math: add in up to 10x the amount of rice in water or broth. Common ratios are 1:7 or 1:10. 
  • Bring to a boil. 
  • Cover, lower the heat and let simmer for about an hour to an hour and a half. Resist the urge to stir too much, it’ll break the rice up!
  • Add in any desired toppings.
  • Eat!

Some toppings I suggest: Cracking a raw egg into the rice (mix it well!), sugar, bacon, salt and pepper, butter, brown sugar and cinnamon. If you want to boil vegetables and herbs in the broth with the rice to make it more like a soup do so. Get crazy with your fine self. 

YG: Hey hyung, Hoseok took this pic of me all dressed up for prom without me knowing and I think it came out pretty good so I decided to show you haha.

I was tagged by: @otasucc and @spicyboikeith ! Thank youuuu 💕

Rules: tag 10 followers you’d like to get to know better

name: gabriela

nickname(s): sighs…….. gab, and everything you can add to it like gabaroo?? Gabs? And all the shit @sshiros calls me like gabsito, gabitch, gabaloney or whatever add (50) more. Also some ppl call me bowie irl

gender: ?? Brother i…

star sign: Aries <3

height: 1.70 cm maybe

sexuality: bi ace

hogwarts house: gryffindor

favourite animal: my own damne dogg

average hours of sleep: 5 - 6 when i go to school… or 3. on weekends i try to sleep 8-9.

dog or cat person: DOG

blanket you sleep with: one but i might get a furr-y one (fake ofc wtf)

dream trip: europe probably bc fuck you im an art bitch. India or arabia too cus recently i have been studying their art @ school. Im gonna do history of Israel online next semester aksjskdjdj too so maybe

when I made my blog: sighs mid 2014 but just started to really use it 10 months ago… wow

followers: brotjer i cant see but like 5 at tops, probably

why I made a Tumblr: bc i uh love to see fanart of my anime boyfriends :/

reasons for my url: HAHA, okay so i spent like 4 months or more thinking about keith in the desert and all the shit he did there and got sadaf. Poor baby man. Oh yeah so I was like hey he was in the desert that boyy musta be sunburnt and fuck u if u think not and like i imagine he had at least red cheeks and red nose. Also bc i draw keith a lot i always kinda imagine the sunburnt so like sunburnt + keith ya. He loves the outdoors. Boy, he is the warmest of them all,,, he loves the sun eh he’s 🔥🔥. I just ☀️+ keith= ❤️❤️

I tag: @glaspaladin @sshiros @alteami @pureren @paladinlion @red-paladin @biscoote @acequeenm @quiiiznak @izbelles @officialkeith @jeigers @jllusive @shirogaenes @shiroqanetakashi @shiroganoir @z-ayauitl @volvoltron feel free to iqqnoir