i drink to remember i smoke to forget

i’ve been drinking since noon
and i’ve been high all day.
maybe if i pour more chemicals in my body,
i won’t remember my name.

maybe i won’t remember anything
and i’ll be thankful for that.
reverse a few months in the past
and forget who i am.

i mean, listen, we all change
and sadly we have to cope,
but some of us don’t know how
so we drink or cut or smoke.

or we find vices within ourselves
that we promised not to do.
but rules were meant to be broken, right?
sadly, that’s true.

*:・゚✫ random bios *:・゚✫

Like the post and/or give credit to nddobrev on twitter.
De like no post e/ou de créditos para nddobrev no twitter. 

  1. how do i stop growing up this isn’t fun anymore 
  2. being on twitter for so long gave me this weird and awkward sense of humor that really no one gets. 
  3. i just want to be famous to see who i will be shipped with 
  4. dsclp ai mais eu so falo com quem era 100% sexy no orkut 
  5. primeiramente vai se fuder segundamente vai de novo 
  6. sarcasm is a body’s natural defence against stupid
  7. I got 99 problems but I’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all 
  8. i heard u like bad girls,,,.,,.,.,, im bad at everything 
  9. eu nao sei o que estou fazendo nesse mundo,,,..,
  10. 96% of my life is ????? with a little ¿¿¿¿¿ 
  11. ctrl alt delete my life
  12. to procurando a pessoa certa pq a errada eu encontro sempre que olho pro espelho
  13. ..:*,,❀ exausta porém linda ❀,,*:.. 
  14. ninguem te obrigou a me seguir agr aguenta
  16. I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation 
  17. we all go to hell 
  18. don’t judge my choices if you don’t understand my reasons
  19. menos nude, mais mapa astral *:・゚✫
  20. amostra o mapa astral *:・゚✫
  21. se fosse pra ser pacífico eu tava no oceano
  22. all I wanna do is get high by the beach 
  23. cute but psycho ◕‿◕ 
  24. kjkjjjddjkjd não sei o que ta acontecendo 
  25. a bad nem bate mais pq ela já é de casa
  26. oi obrigada tchau 
  27. 50% fome 50% sono 
  28. єυ ทασ sσυ вαixiทнα єυ sσυ υм мiทiσท 
  29. puppies are touchable happiness
  30. i really dont care
  31. who are you lil shit
  32. just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand
  33. looking for a sugar daddy .,!*ೃ∗
  34. rainha gótica suprema das trevas 
  35. ✫ a vida não é bela mas eu sou ✫
  36. if you don’t think i’m a princess then you are 100% right i’m the fucking queen
  37. hello darkness my old friend
  38. nao gosta de mim mas fica me stalkeando,.,,,.. 
  39. kkjkjjdjkjd sai daq vagabunda
  40. hate me? nice, but who are you??
  41. vamo se beja na boca
  42. ninguém te obrigou a me seguir migs agora aguenta eu votando no meu idolo 
  43. no one yes door migs
  44. Breath. Smile. Repeat.
  45. i could be your baby tonight
  46. i want to have fun and be in love with you
  47. baby im a sociopath
  48. i drink to remember, i smoke to forget
  49. someone told me im out my mind
  50. im losing my mind ◑‿◐

(◕‿◕✿) 。◕‿◕。 ⊱✿◕‿◕✿⊰(◡‿◡✿)(◕〝◕) ◑▂◐ ◑0◐ ◑︿◐ ◑ω◐ ◑﹏◐ ◑△◐ ◑▽◐ ●▂● ●0● ●︿● ●ω● ●﹏● ●△● ●▽● ⊙▂⊙ ⊙0⊙ ⊙︿⊙ ⊙ω⊙ ⊙﹏⊙ ⊙△⊙ ♔♕♖♗♘♙♚♛♜♝♞♟ (◡‿◡✿) ◧ ◨ ◩ ◪ ◫◙ ૪ (✿◠‿◠) ◑‿◐ ✖‿✖ ✿ ♥‿♥ ◠◡◠◔◡◔≦ ≧◉◡◉ ❤ ♡ ❥ ☾ ☽ ▲ ▼ △ ▽ ☯ ✦ ✩ ✰ ✌ ☪ ✖ ☁ ☼ ☂ ✿ ♀♂ ♫ ϟ † ❝ ❞ ☮ ♪ ♣ ♥ ☩ ⇨ ☺ ☻ 웃 ღ ❦ ∴ △ ∞ ☆ ★ ✖ 。®™✤ ✥ ✩ ✫ ✬ ✭ ✮ ✯ ✰ ✱ ✲ ✳ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹✸ ✷ ₪ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ✶ ✵ ✴ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋ ❖ ❢ ❣ ✐ ✎ ✏ ✍ ✆ ☎ ✄ † ✞ ✝ ✛ ✙ ރ ⌚ ▧ ▨ ▦ ▩ ➸☑ ☒ ☓☟ ☠ ☡ ☢ ☣ ☤ ☥ ☦ ☧ ☨ ☩ ☪ ☫ ☬ ☭ ☮ ☯➹◎♩♫♭♪♯♬♮♫♯☁☀☃☂♣♥♪♫☼♀♂♦✗✘✚✪✣✤✥☠ ♦ ♠ ♣ ♢ ♤ ♡ ♧ ● ◯ ☚ ☛ ☜ ☝ ☞ ☟ ✌ ♻ ♼ ♽ ☼ ☀ ❂ ☁ ☂ ☃ ☄ ❄ ☇ ☈ ⊙ ☉ ° ❅ ✺ ϟ ♩♯♮♬♪♫ 
♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓ 

last summer;

don’t forget me like last summer
when i told you to leave me behind
i didn’t mean it & i don’t mean it now
i am sick with worry & filled with shame
please don’t lose me in the seas of despair
you’re my lifesaver & i’ll drown if you walk
off the docks & into their arms
i’m sorry i wasn’t the person you thought i was

remember the late night skype calls
& how you poured secrets into my ear
remember the glistening love casting
a spell over us even if we were worlds apart
remember how you promised to keep me
in your heart & i’d do the same

just don’t forget me like those fleeting moments
you let pass between your eyes
a wisp of smoke you couldn’t touch with your palms
the howling of your heart that you forced to silence
a glass of wine that you dared not drink because
you were scared of addiction–
just don’t forget me like last summer


Below the cut are a bunch of one-liners pulled from Marina and the Diamonds’ album·“The Family Jewels.”

“Are you satisfied with an average life?”
“Drinking champagne to forget yesterday, ‘cause I remember the way it ended.”
“Better to be hated than loved for what you’re not.”
“It’s easy to be sleazy when you’ve got a filthy mind.”
“Do you think you will be good enough?”
“All you ever think about are sick ideas involving me and you.”
“Hollywood infected your brain.”
“I’m a fucking wild card.”
“You’re just a little bit too much like me.”
“I feel like I’m the worst, so I always act like I’m the best.”
“Well, you don’t know fuck about my family.”
“I feel numb most of the time.”
“I’ve got nowhere to go.”

Keep reading

What hurts the most?”
“Oh… Oh god. What hurts the most? That’s simple. It’s a bunch of things that pile into one ginormous realization. A realization that leaves you fucking devastated.
Nothing hurts more than knowing I think about her every single day but she doesn’t think about me. At all. Does she even remember everything I told her? What it was like to kiss me? Does she forget that I once made her feel like a princess? What hurts the most. Fuck. I’ve finally come to realize that everything I ever said to her, means nothing. She doesn’t remember a single thing. She’s too busy with him, with her friends, with school. She doesn’t think about me. She doesn’t see me. She wasn’t the one in love. I’m the one who sees her in my car, my dreams, the sky, the stars. I’m the one who never stops thinking about her. Fuck, I’m at work, and all I can think about is her. Her. Her. Her. I’m smoking cigarettes and all I taste is her. I’m drinking alcohol to forget her, but to fucking remember what it was like to hold her. I’m hurting myself because the thought of her hurts. I’m the one who cries when I hear that song. I’m the one who dies every time someone mentions your name. I’m the one who remembers the memories. I’m the one who actually misses her.
She’s fine without me, and I’m not fine without her. Don’t you fucking get it? It hurts so fucking much to live without someone who can live without you.
—  She’s going to forget me isn’t she?
a year ago on this day you stumbled in to my life and i remember this time last year i felt every single feeling all at once, hope,love and excitement. you made me believe in life and in love. i cant believe where we are now, i havent spoken to you in so long but i can never forget you, no matter what i drink, what i smoke even if i delete all the pictures, texts even if i threw out your hoodie and those letters you used to write me it wouldnt change anything i would still miss you and i havent stopped since the day you left me. its been a year exactly on this day where we knew of each others existence and since then my life has changed forever, i still wish you the best and i still think you are the most amazing person who has ever entered my life. i dont think my feelings for you will ever fully die but i guess a year later ive learnt a lot and a lot has changed but i got to move on and i got to be strong and try and find someone new but i dont know if another guy will ever be half of what you were to me, a year later i hope you know you changed me even if i probably mean nothing to you now or maybe im a bad memory to you or maybe you feel the exact same as i do i wouldnt know but either way you were the best and thank you for entering my world even if you are gone you are still there in my mind. i love you maybe not love love but i love you for making me feel things i never felt before or havent felt since and thank you for loving me even if it wasnt for long or maybe you still do thank you for everything. its crazy what could happen when you walk on the same road at the right day at the right time.
—  a year later


+ hi hi helo etc !!!! so basically for my first hundred (i'm crying i haven't been here long and ily all so much) i thought i'd make a lil masterlist of lyrics by marina and the diamonds from every ep/album that she's released that could be used for inspiration, descriptions, prompts, ideas, bios etc. check them out under the cut, and please like/reblog if you found this at all helpful. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Keep reading

Sometimes I Still Want To Call You

The last time I crashed
We both did
Tore the axle off your father’s
car on the embankment

I made the EMTs laugh
Because I didn’t know what else to do
You stared out the window
And refused to hold my hand

We were alive and then we gave away the wreckage
I remembered it as graceful
But I don’t think that it was now

That night we slept in separate rooms
and by the end of winter
We stayed that way

It wasn’t heartbreaking at first
Your face lying next to me on the bed
Looking up at the lights

“I’m just gonna smoke a lot of weed” you said
“I’m probably gonna drink.”
Even alone we were together
Even apart we were the same

It was almost funny
Until I tried to gathered up your things
And realized that there were none
Because you had already been moving away from me

Some days I forget your face
But on others every boy looks like just you
As though the glass of my eye has been split with your reflection

But that’s the shitty part about falling in love young,
you remember it too well
Like how when we spilled off the highway
You reached out your arm
To brace me for the impact
But why would you do that?

And then refuse my hand?

I’ve been speaking to midnight a lot lately, and she still doesn’t understand why I am crying while reading her the poems you wrote across my chest. She is bad at keeping secrets, and I know this because the moon looks at me with pity, like he has heard something about my bruised heart. I drink coffee every day at dawn. I heard once that it could stunt your growth, and I am not ready to forget you yet. You spoke in three different languages while kissing me but never knew how to talk about love without tripping over your words. Maybe your lips were always clumsy, but I only remember you saying goodbye like you were sure of it. Maybe this isn’t about forgetting you. Maybe it’s about remembering who I was before you poisoned me. I hate the smell of cigarettes now. I hate the way I still find you in the smoke.
—  Y.Z, Maybe this is what surviving feels like
Best Of Graham Norton 2015
  • The theme tonight is ‘building bridges’. I’m mentioning it now because the hosts will so it’s better you’re prepared.
  • Conchita incoming!
  • A fun drinking game, take a drink every time the hosts say “good morning Australia”. They say it a lot.
  • "Host- Ive been learning Chinese." Oh please don’t.
  • I don’t know what the headphones are for. I don’t know what they’re listening to. I hope it’s not this.
  • This next song is called ‘Don’t Forget’. Hopefully we will.
  • If that didn’t put a smile on your face you aRE DEAD INSIDE.
  • I blame Game of Thrones for this staging. Enjoy.
  • OOOH that was worse than I remembered. I should’ve warned you!
  • This is one of the worst song titles ever. Its called “Love Injected”. Grim.
  • I think the smoke-machine man nodded off during the beginning of that performance.
  • She entered an Albanian singing competition and now she’s driving a snow-plough. Dreams do come true!
  • A lot of ballads. Obviously.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, this will be the longest minute of your lives.
  • Now that awkward chat is over, let’s start another. In Italian.
  • Great voice and not a filling in those teeth.
  • "Host - What are you doing, Arabella?" Arabella is clearly not doing anything.
  • "Greek host talking too long." OK give us the 8. Say the words ‘8’.
  • This is Andrei, dressed as a children’s entertainer.
  • "Host screen goes blank" The year is 2015 and it’s as if there are 2 cans and a piece of string connecting these countries.
  • Obviously dress-down Saturday in Denmark.
  • Estonia who? Oh, yes. The necklace.
  • 5 points for the UK? Still, its not bottom.
  • Armenia got 12. And we didn't.
Dear someone

Dear someone,

I really don’t how how should I write this or how will I sound after reading this once again, but I guess that right now, it’s better that we stay unknow but sincere to eachother. Maybe I’ll change my mind after having said this one day, but not right now. So, how are you? How was your day? I’d like to know the sound of your voice. I’d like to know your tones and way you talk about random things, words you repeat over and over again. I’d like of your voice to be my morning coffee and good night tea. I’d love to sit and listen to you talking all night as I will look to you in feelings and you’ll speak to me in words. Your tells will guide me and represent shortcut to my longest nights and light up my darkest days. Your letters will run through my veins and once again meet up in my brain as I’ll remember all of them and sing them as my goodnight lullaby. The’d melt everything around us and anew measure and create whole another world where I’d feel safe. But, right now, it’s just on me to speculate your tones. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll find goddess singing within rough onces.                
You’re good, you say? I’m glad. You know, if I’d know you in person, I’ll sure be happy for you. I would feel you. Literally. Not just your skin against mine, but your soul that I asume won’t be that easy do get on with well. I will make you to share your soul with mine, creating a new one. I know you’ll try to hide some things form me, but I wouldn’t let you do that. I’ll leave a mark remembering you that what you do from now on will also become my every day thing. We’ll share our pain together, in many ways. My stories will guide you and yours me as well. But, as you said, you’re good so all these words are now overwhelming, but I’m sure there will be a lot of time for those.    
You know, I’d really like to have you here by my side. But not now. Not immediately. I’d like to have history behind us. Challenges, moments, stories. I wouldn’t like of it to be easy. I’d like of you to be a player, in a good way. What I’d really love to as if you talked to me, a lot, about yourself, things you love, about your problems. I would feel like I lost track of time and space then. You’d talk to me and leave me hints, sincere, deep,  hidden messages. I’d like of you to stop, and go back once again. Give me hope, and then let me down. Guide me through tunnels and meet me in middle. The definition of pleasure isn’t getting what you want right away. But about searching and then finding. So go, and make me love you, make me daydream about you, make up stories in my mind, make me feel like I’m worthy of lot’s of things and give me hope and then; disappear. Give me a change to think deep, to feel let down but to go back again. Ride me through your so hard getting and so hard understanding mind, where I will lost my way millions of times, but get right back on once again. Please, make me want you even more.                
I’d really love that from you. What else? I’d love love your random calls and messages. I’d love your stories. I’d love that authentic smell of yours which will follow me everywhere and remind of lots things. I’d be so hard in love with your eyes, your beautiful eyes where I will get lost in every single time, even if I give my hardest not to. They will be a mirror image of your soul, emotiones, gestures. They will somehow always tell me truth and give me hope. I’d see them light up even if they’re dark as your mind sometimes.  I’d love your clothes which I would wear and look like waste in, but feel like the richest royal. I’d love your dark hair and my hands in it. I’d love your touch, your skin against my skin. Your leans in, your hugs, arms around. The warmth you’d give me when you get close to me, the safety I’ll feel then. Your arms on my weist and my arms around your neck. I’d go crazy for them and for soft, gentle kisses you give me and your smile within them, once again sending me to another world where I’d forget about everything but you. The sweeetness of your lips on mine, the way they verbalise.  I would love the feeling I would get everytime I am around you, which is so hard to explain. I would love times spent on highest buildings, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes, times spent on grass just talking about random things, your weist pulls, neck and forhead kisses. It would be something more than love what will scream commitment, passion and something so real but so not at the same time, so sincere  that will make me remember everything. Places we went to, moments we shared, memories we’ve made, the look in your eyes, your lips, your smell – you. I will feel so intimate with you that I think I’ll completely lost my balance sometimes. I’m a grenande. And, one day, I will be about to go off.        

Dear someone, it’s on you to decide now. Whether you will get into this or not. Please don’t accuse me at the end of being so thrown. I will love you for who you are, your soul, emotions, your strong mind, interesting mind. Twisted mind. But I note you once again that we’d go through hell together. We’ll be mix of people whose mind go so well and so wrong at the same time. We will share every nerve, every fiber and every molecule of our beings. We’ll make an infinite book together. But, please, be occured that, in the end, we’ll be broken. Wasted. Thrown. Alone. We wouldn’t be able to go to same places once again and say words we ment to another. We wouldn’t be able to go back anywhere without thinking of us as a mixture of emotions and gastures, like everytime we feel blood in our mouth. Like everytime we feel pain when we fall. Like everytime we cry – we die. We’ll be in a place where we’d go crazy for electirc, magnetic and charismatic moments searching them in eachother’s eyes when we meet once again. So, dear someone, I promise that I’ll love every single cell of yours, and miss same onces when your gone. I’ll make you go crazy and calm at the same time, creating the new chapters of a book. Maybe, at the end, I’ll be able to fill the gaps and put all chapters together, creating the book I always wanted to. It’s uncertain how will it start or end, but I asume it will be the one to remember. You will be the one to remember. After having said all of this, at least what I can do is to promise you that. So, dear someone, good luck. I’ll sure love you.            

Yours faithfully,               

Unknown (for now).