i drink to remember i smoke to forget

a year ago on this day you stumbled in to my life and i remember this time last year i felt every single feeling all at once, hope,love and excitement. you made me believe in life and in love. i cant believe where we are now, i havent spoken to you in so long but i can never forget you, no matter what i drink, what i smoke even if i delete all the pictures, texts even if i threw out your hoodie and those letters you used to write me it wouldnt change anything i would still miss you and i havent stopped since the day you left me. its been a year exactly on this day where we knew of each others existence and since then my life has changed forever, i still wish you the best and i still think you are the most amazing person who has ever entered my life. i dont think my feelings for you will ever fully die but i guess a year later ive learnt a lot and a lot has changed but i got to move on and i got to be strong and try and find someone new but i dont know if another guy will ever be half of what you were to me, a year later i hope you know you changed me even if i probably mean nothing to you now or maybe im a bad memory to you or maybe you feel the exact same as i do i wouldnt know but either way you were the best and thank you for entering my world even if you are gone you are still there in my mind. i love you maybe not love love but i love you for making me feel things i never felt before or havent felt since and thank you for loving me even if it wasnt for long or maybe you still do thank you for everything. its crazy what could happen when you walk on the same road at the right day at the right time.
—  a year later
~j
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