i drew these to calm myself down

anonymous asked:

part 2 of Coffee run?????

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENS - Jefferson x Reader

Part 1

Time period: Modern Office!Au

Word count: 1032

Ship: Tjeffs x fem!reader

Warnings: A slight altercation between an angry tiny man and a giant

Feel free to make a request for an imagine!

In any other situation, the sound of your manager calling your name would make you inwardly cringe, but this was different. Jefferson was different.

You could barely see Alexander shoot daggers at your manager from across the room out of the corner of your eyes. “Give Y/N a break, Jefferson. Can’t you see that she’s exhausted?”

Mr. Jefferson opened his mouth to retaliate, but you turned to Hamilton with a kind smile. “It’s alright, Mr. Hamilton.”

You turned back to Jefferson who was holding the door open expectantly. As you walked into his office he followed, closing the door softly.

You stood sleepily in the middle of his office causing a melodic laugh to roll off his tongue. “Sit down, Y/N, please.”

You did as he said and tried to sit down on his office couch as gracefully as you could in your tired state. The couch practically ate you whole as you sunk into the leather. You faded in and out as Jefferson looked to you.

“No, Y/N Don’t fall asleep yet! please eat something first.” he pleaded, but you only mumbled in response, letting your head fall onto the cushions.

A warm hand grasped your cheek as Jefferson called your name. “Open your mouth Y/N.”

You opened your eyes lazily and opened your mouth as he guided a bagel half into your mouth. You chewed and grasped the food from him. As you continued to eat, Jefferson reached behind himself and grabbed the chamomile tea that he had placed on the coffee table. He watched you eat the rest of your bagel causing you to let out a quiet mixture of a groan and a laugh. “Is there something on my face?”

Jefferson gave you a toothy smile and lifted a napkin to your lips, wiping away what you could only guess was an attractive dollop of cream cheese. You groaned again and leaned into your lap, covering your face.

Jefferson chuckled and placed the napkin down so he could rub your back.

“I’m a mess.” you grumbled.

You looked up to him and he gave you a playful sheepish smile. “A hot mess?”

You thought about his words for a second, was he flirting? Was that something the two of you were aloud to do?

You looked into his puppy eyes that smiled with the rest of his face and sleepily decided that you didn’t care if you were aloud to or not, life had finally placed something great right in front of you.

You scooted closer, clearly taking him by surprise. His hand moved from your back to rest around your shoulder as he passed you your tea. You took a sip and moaned in delight, causing him to blush.

He shook it off and rested his head on yours as you leaned into him further, closing your eyes.

“Jefferson, we’ve finished up on the- What the hell are you doing?” Alexander spat at his boss, racing over to you and grabbing your arm harshly.

You groggily groaned in pain as you were yanked up, causing jefferson to stand up in front of you. “Be careful, you’re hurting her!”

“Where you taking advantage of Y/N?” Hamilton barked.

Jefferson tensed and clenched his fists. “Choose your next words carefully, Hamilton.” he seethed.

“I knew you were a scummy man, but I never thought you’d go this far.” Alexander bit.

Jefferson let out a sharp incredulous laugh. “Says the married man who’s had multiple adulterous relations.”

In the heat of the moment, Alexander swiftly brought his fist up to connect with Jefferson’s jaw.

You gasped and sobered up before wedging yourself between the two men who’s egos inflated the whole room.

“That is enough! Jefferson, sit down, I’ll be right back” you commanded before leading Hamilton out of the room and into the break room for some privacy.

“Mr. Hamilton, I’m sorry that I’m out of line, but what the hell was that?” you asked trying to calm down.

He groaned and rubbed his forehead but you didn’t let him answer. “Look,” you sighed. “ I appreciate the fact that you’re looking after me, if your assumptions were right, I might have been in some real trouble.”

He drew his lip up in disgust. “You mean, you were caught in that position voluntarily? Y/N, you know how much everybody hates him, there is a reason.”

You grasped his hands in yours before speaking gently. “Let me find that out for myself. I’ve been all work, no play non-stop since before I graduated college, let me have this one thing.”

He sighed but nodded. “You sure are a smart girl, Y/N.”

He offered you a small smile, which you reciprocated. “You behave, I’m going to go make sure you don’t get fired, please don’t try to convince yourself that you don’t need this job because we both know you do.”

The two of you shared a light laugh before you grasped his shoulder and gave him a mock-salute.

“Good luck, soldier.” he said.

You opened the door to Mr. Jefferson’s office to find him pacing back and forth like a caged tiger. The sound of the door grabbed his attention and he spun on his heels to face you. “Is your arm okay? Did he hurt you? Give me one good reason why i shouldn’t fire the damn bastard.”

“Mr. Jefferson, Hamilton would never hurt me on purpose, you know that.” you walked closer to him and placed your hand on his cheek causing his harsh stature to visibly diminish.

“This is all my fault.” You spoke quietly, looking down at your feet.

“No, no, no. Not at all.” he tried to reassure you as he grasped your shoulders

“Hamilton’s heart was in the right place.” You said, laying your head on his chest. “He needs this job.”

Jefferson sighed and wrapped his arms around you. “You’re too kind, Y/N.”

“Is that a flaw?” You questioned.

“Never.” he laughed.

You moved your head to look up at him while he lowered his and your lips met.

There was no fireworks or sparks like in the fairy tales, but damn if it didn’t feel right.

Not Worthy

♥ Hi guys, so this one is a lovely request I received. I really hope you like it. It’s the first time I wrote Loki, so I really hope it’s okay. I’m a little insecure about this one, if I’m honest. Request are still open. I would love if you leave some feedback. Found any mistakes please tell me, I would love to fix them. Deutsche Version auf meiner Masterlist!

Request:  Loki 😍😍 Maybe reader is an powerful mutant (like she can make everything of everything even destroy sun), Thor took to Asgard? And she is very into his Jotun form? (I centrally am) And he is into her, but is not doing anything, because hell, she hot and he feels not a good match for her… And then there is his mother, who can’t stand him not doing anything because she WANTS reader as a dauther-in-law, especially because Loki deserve someone who may love him no matter what he did or who he is.

  • Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader
  • Summary. Loki loves you but thinks that he is not worth your love.
  • Warnings: angst and fluff, written from Loki’s Pov, flashbacks
  • Words: 1864

Music and loud voices echoed through the long corridors of the large hall as I passed through them. Staff ran frantically back and forth. They carried food, wine, and crockery with them, and set the tables, and started to clean up the hall.I looked at them for a few minutes. A feast? Nobody told me about a feast and what is the occasion? In the center of the hall I spotted my mother and walked over to her purposefully.

“Mother, what does all this mean?” Frigga turned to me with a wide smile.“We’re hosting a feast, Thor is returning from his battle today, bringing Lady Y/N with him, I’m so glad to see her again.”

Y/N here!? For a tiny second, a smile crossed my lips, which disappeared just as fast as it came. “So Lady Y/N is so visiting us” “So it is, then you have finally the chance to make the first step,” Frigga replied while giving instructions to the staff. I looked at her in surprise. “Forgive me, but what are you talking about?"Frigga laughed softly and laid a hand on my cheek. "My son, you may be able to pretend something to yourself and the whole world, but not to me, I am your mother and I know that you like this woman” “Ridiculous, she is a mortal” I replied.

Keep reading

As I began to love myself ...

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is authenticity.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it respect.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it maturity.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exact right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it self-confidence.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it simplicity.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health—food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today, I know it is love of oneself.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is modesty.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it fulfillment.

As I began to love myself I recognised that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection wisdom of the heart.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations, or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know that is life! ~ Charles Chaplin

Foxeye: A Lucien ACOWAR Fic, Part 1

Setting: The Spring Court

Summary: Feyre is home in the Spring Court, but Lucien can’t shake the feeling that she’s not being entirely truthful about her experiences in the Night Court.

Ship: N/A

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,658

A/N: This fic is relevant parts of ACOWAR from Lucien’s perspective. I may not do every single scene, but beware!! SPOILERS GALORIOUS!!

Keep reading

P.S. I Love You by c000kiesandcream is a brilliant and moving fic, a heartbreaking tragedy that makes you cry oceans of tears and at the same time fills with so much Love.  
But it made me suffer so hard that a mere thought of the ending made me feel pain in my chest again and again, and to calm myself down I drew my own alternative ending of the story – that it all was just a dream. I know the story is very real life, that’s why it has such effect on readers, it should probably stay the way it is, and it’s absolutely beautiful, but…
I just can’t bear the thought of Victor and Yuuri suffering so much, so this art is for my own personal consolation.

I strongly rec this fic to everybody.


09.04.17 Happy Birthday To Moi~

Yusss today’s mah burfday so I drew myself a pic or two to celebrate 0w0 Yoosung tells OC Amy to quit her job (she does World Hacking i.e. hacks her way into other Worlds, some of which can be very dangerous) since he’s worried for her safety. Amy is all, bich that’s mah life’s work okay, and Yoosung…well he just kisses her 8D

Open Up Sometime

Optional bias // angst/ fluff? 

I wrote this awhile ago and it’s just been sitting in my docs for wayyy tooo long. It’s v angsty and a little fluffy… l o l I didn’t include any names but I thought of DΞΔN a lot when I was writing this and a few other people… Pls be nice to me I’m wayyy too soft for shade tbh 

Can we meet? 5:24pm  


Three words that held more meaning to me than I would like admit. When was the last time I had seen him? Why had I put it off for so long? Allowed things to simmer to a boil for so long? I stared at the screen watching it as if my life depended on the three little words I had finally sent after three weeks of silence.


“Sure. Meet me at the studio in 30.” 5:36pm


Could I really have this conversation now? Was there even a point to the conversation? No. He would continue his life as normal. A silent shadow lurking in the back of my mind. A strong silence that loomed over every move I made. A silence that drowned out everyone and everything surrounding me. A silence I had gladly drowned myself in for so long. I drowned in it until my whispers turned into screams. I screamed until my lungs burned until I couldn’t breathe, all met with the once comforting silence. Met with dark unmoving eyes. Met with nothing but long steady breaths that seemed far too loud for comfort, almost deafening.

I drove to the studio in a silence that was louder than ever. I was always told that silence was necessary for us to recognize the dynamics of the world around us, it was necessary for us to survive. How ironic. The same silence that allowed others to hear things all the more clearly, simply drowned me out into a shattered whisper in the wind. I pulled into the parking lot, into the space I had occupied numerous times, a space that seemed to collect dust in the wake of my absence. Closing my eyes I leaned forward, resting my head on the steering wheel, forcing myself to focus on the small sounds that had always been there. The traffic, the chirping of birds, the sound of my car settling in its temporary home, focused on my oddly calm breathing. I forced myself to make music out of the minute notes of the universe, a symphony of this moment.

A soft knock echoed in the confines of my small car, drawing me out of myself, bringing me back to earth. I sat up slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the brightness before turning to meet the dark eyes I knew all too well. His hand came up, motioning to me to follow him into the building. I drew in a deep breath before throwing my door open and quickly making my way into the studio, with my head down to avoid any potential photos being taken.

The studio offered more sound than I could comprehend. Each room we passed held a sense of life and lightness that shone brightly in comparison to the dark outline of the back I could draw with my eyes closed, his footsteps darker and heavier than any sound. When had I drawn him to be so gray? When had his color drained from my view and bled into everything else around him. He was now a beautiful black and white photograph in a sea of vibrant watercolor paintings.

“Sit,” his voice was quiet, yet commanding.

I sunk down onto the couch that held memories of late nights and coffee, that absorbed the lusty ‘I love you’s’ whispered into each other’s skin, that had witnessed the walls I had built up to conceal my emotions break away as if they were made of feathers. As if they never existed. This couch had seen the rise and fall of a relationship others had deemed stronger than ever. A relationship built on an open pit, never meant to last, only meant to consume.

“How’ve you been,” he looked small while asking me this. Like he was afraid of my answer. Was he more afraid of me being okay and happy, or the mental image of me being crippled by an all-consuming sadness? The truth is I had simultaneously been both.

A soft smile graced my lips as I looked into his eyes, “I’ve been okay. You?”

His eyes instantly found a sudden interest in everything in the room, everything but me, “I’ve been living, breathing,” he stated simply, letting out a breathy laugh, “I’ve been as good as I can be.”

I nodded slowly, “It’s okay not to be okay. I hope you know that” my voice was louder than ever, yet softer than our last encounter. I wasn’t a whisper in the back of his mind, nor a loud siren that forced him to acknowledge my presence. I had found a happy medium, that wrapped around the room in soft hues of color, allowing a calm to wash over us.

His eyes shot up meeting mine, his warm brown eyes framed with confusion, begging me to provide him with more context.

I shook my head, laughing quietly at his childlike behavior, “I just wanted you to know that. I know you live in a world where the light upon you is blinding, that all you can see is thousands of eyes assessing your being. So much that you no longer saw me in the picture, I was pushed to the peripherals of your vision, I faded into the sidelines until I became nothing at all. I know that all you feel is pressure resting on your sternum when you sleep at night. That was made clear to me when you tossed and turned in your sleep, a cold sweat breaking out on your neck. I know you want to break free from this omnipotent gaze on you. I know that. I know that because I spent too long watching you from afar. I spent all of our time together viewing you through a telescope, you had always been a million miles away, lost in your thoughts. Thoughts you had never voiced or shared. Everything was concealed and hidden away in a little box. I had spent my time trying to decipher you when I should have spent my time focusing on myself and what I needed.”  

He huffed, rolling his eyes as he bit his tongue in an attempt to not yell at me. This is the face I had engrained in my skin. He was holding back.

“Just fucking say it,” I spat out.

“It’s easy to blame me! You think it is easy to be in the limelight, performing for thousands of fans who have this sense of deep entitlement to you and your creations. You think that I’m coasting by here, when I’m really tearing myself apart each night performing for these people, allowing them to enter my mind and see things through my gaze. You think you know everything! You don’t,” he snapped, his words laced with deep rooted anger.

Although his words hurt, I found myself smiling at him, “Okay.”

“Okay? Fucking okay is all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to scream at you? Tear you apart and make you feel terrible? I already did that. I don’t need to rehash my feelings. I took this time apart from you to really think about everything. You. Me. The fans. I thought about it all. Trust me,” I slouched down in my seat, feeling drained.

“I want you to say anything. Anything but O-fucking-Kay. I want you to be brutally honest.”

“I was honest last time we spoke. I meant everything I said, although I should have just told them to you rather than scream them at you. I won’t say sorry. I do mean what I said,” I sat up quickly, scooting to the edge of the couch cushion, “I am more than happy to discuss our last conversation if you are willing to.”

“I’m not good with these kinds of things,” he looked at his shoes, thinking over his words carefully, “Why didn’t you tell me how you were feeling before? Why did you hold in everything for so long?”

I rolled my eyes at him, forcing a smile, “It was all I knew in our relationship. We spent all our time loving each other or holding back our feelings. We never wanted to hurt one another so we just held it in, praying that they would disappear in time.”

“We talked! We talked every damn day! You could’ve told me how un-fucking-happy you were being with me, if it bothered you so damn much,” his words were harsh and uncalculated. Something I had never witnessed from him. His walls were slowly breaking.

“I get it. I’m not trying to upset you. I was unhappy. Not with you, but with our situation. Did you not see the distance? Did you not hear the same silence that has been haunting my dreams for months now? Was I the only one awake to see our relationship falling apart?”

“I was happy with our relationship. I didn’t see anything wrong. I still don’t.”

“How could you? I don’t expect you to see the events leading up to it. You were always gone, on tour, in the studio. I know it is a part of your job, I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Words can’t describe how happy I have been watching your music grow in popularity. I was fine watching you thrive and achieve your goals so quickly I was. But when you became as equally distant at home as you were while you had been across the globe. I found myself breaking each time I saw your disinterested face, every time I spoke to you with your back facing me. It hurt to see you slip away through my fingers as I tried to latch onto anything that could mend our wounds. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough,” my voice cracked as I reached the end of my speech.

“I-I don’t really know what to say. I’m sorry that I waited so long to have this conversation. I’m sorry that it took me this long to hear you out and listen to your problems. I-I-I just want to fix things. I love you. Where do we go from here,” he was a stuttering mess, his loss for words brought a smile to my face, he wasn’t being overly calculated for once, he was speaking without editing anything out. It was as if the darkness had melted away from his body, the light that once emitted from him coming back full force.

I sat there silently listening to his uneven breathing, I could see the slight tint of red gracing his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “Where do you want it to go?”

“I want to move past this. I want to make you feel as loved as you make me feel. I’m just not sure I’m capable of such affection… fuck… I just want to be with you, isn’t that enough,” he kneeled in front of me his hands resting on my knees as he looked up at me, “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect… hell, I can’t promise much of anything. But you make me want to.”

His eyes bore into mine, reading me like a book, waiting for a response or a telling factor, “Promises don’t promise a happy ending babe,” I joked trying to lighten the mood, “I just want to know I can count on you when it matters. I want to be there for you but I want the same sentiments in return, I’m not trying to be demanding. I just can’t give all of myself and only be allowed to view you through a haze, a perfectly formulated persona. I want to be there for you through the hard times, I want to be the one you come to when things get tough love. I want to care for you on a deeper level than you’re allowing me to. I want to love you but you won’t let me in,” my words were rushed and emotional, tears falling down my cheeks silently.  

“Fuck,” he whispered as his rough hands came up to cup my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away my tears as they continued to fall, “please don’t cry babe, it hurts to see you like this because of me.”

I laughed at myself, feeling embarrassed over my tears. I shook my head out of his grip wiping my own tears away, “I’m sorry for being such a baby, I’m just hurt. I feel like I will never be able to love you fully without reservation. I feel like you’ll never open up to me.”

“I’ll try.”

My nose scrunched up in confusion at his statement, “Try what?”

“I’ll try to open up to you. I will try and make it a habit to come to you instead of bottling up everything and tucking it away in my closet along with the other skeletons,” he crawled into the seat next to me, grasping my hands in his, “I can’t promise I will be good at it, or that it will be natural. I’ll probably be an awkward mess the first few times. I have really dark thoughts that might weigh on you, they sure as hell weigh on me. I can’t promise our talks will be productive or have a conclusion. But I will try for you. Losing you isn’t an option babe. I need you more than you need me,” his cheeks were flaming red by the end of his confession.


“Chill with the okay, I need an answer. Are you good?

“We are better than good,” I smiled leaning in to kiss his cheek, “you’re cute when you blush love.”

“Stoooop,” he pouted.

“Get over it. You’re cute and that’s a fact,” I kissed his pouting lips before tackling him in a hug.

“When did you get so touchy?”

“Since I didn’t see you for three weeks dumbo!”

“I’m not complaining,” he smiled at me brightly before covering my lips with his, embracing me tightly.

I'm Sorry...*Chris Motionless Smut*

Anon Asked: Can u write a chris motionless smut you have been together for 2 years and get into a huge fight and he starts throwing stuff and walks out and when he comes back u have cuddles and makeups


Sorry that the whole “Chris throwing stuff at you” part sucked. It’s just I’ve been through that shit, and it was a touchy subject, and it really hit home. Again, sorry. Hope you like it anyways… :/ Plus, school has literally drained all the creativity out of me, so if the imagines suck, I apologize :c


“What the fuck Chris?!” I yelled as my boyfriend of two years threw me into the house. “You were flirting with that guy, Y/N, and you know damn well you were too!” He spat at me. My anger turned into rage “Why the FUCK would I do that?! When I have you! I thought you were the best thing ever, and now you’re being a giant dick! Seriously! If I knew you were gonna do this, I would’ve flirted with him!!” I yelled. You could see the anger in his eyes “You whore!! His hands were all over you for fucks sake!! How can you say "You weren’t flirting with him” So quit being a lying little shit, Y/N!“ He yelled. That was the last straw. I took off my heels and flung them at him. He dodged them and gabbed the lamp on the counter, and threw it at me. I threw my body to the floor, to dodge it, but the glass cut my hand. "You’re so pathetic” Chris spat, then walked out, leaving me on the floor crying. “What have I done!” I choked out threw my sobs. I eventually cried myself to sleep, still on the floor.

~Time Lapse: 2 Hours~

I woke up to someone putting me on the bed upstairs, then someone lying next to me. I felt their arm go around my waist, and defense mode kicked in. I shot up and drew my fists up, preparing myself to kick some ass. “Whoa!! Calm down! It’s just me…” Chris said, putting his arms up in defense. I relaxed and buried myself in the covers. “Y/N…” Chris trailed off, but I ignored him. “Y/N…??” He said again. I continued to ignore him. I heard him sigh then I heard silence. I felt someone rip the blankets off of me, then pin me down, so I was forced to be still. I closed my eyes, knowing that Chris was above me. “Y/N, look at me” He said. I slowly did, and his eyes were full of guilt. “I’m sorry, ok? I really am. After I stormed out, all I could think about was you. Your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your everything. I thought I’d never be able to see it again. Please, just let me show you how much I love you?” His voice was soft and calm, unlike earlier. I nodded, not knowing what to say, and his lips attacked mine, roughly.

His hands traveled up and down my sides, sending shivers. I shuddered as his lips moved to my neck, immediately sucking on my sweet spot. “Chris!” I moaned out, as he bit down lightly. I felt him smirk against my skin, and he took off my shirt, doing the same with his. He took off my pants, and kissed from my neck all the way down to my pantie line, teasing me. “Don’t tease” I whispered as he teased me threw the fabric. He smirked and ripped off my panties, and pushed two fingers inside me. “Chris!” I screamed as he added one more finger, hitting my g-spot every time. “Chris! I’m… I’m gonna cum!” I yelled as I felt the knot in my stomach growing. He slid his fingers out, and without warning, slammed into me, going at a slow pace, gradually speeding up. I felt the knot growing tighter, and tighter “Chris..I’m-I’m gonna…” “Let it go” He said. Soon after I left myself release onto him, triggering his. He collapsed on the bed next to me. “I really am sorr-” Chris started, but I shut him up by kissing him “Just shut up, and go to sleep” I laughed, soon falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

Dearest (Joker x reader) 7

Y/N’s curiosity got the better of her when she went exploring by herself in an old insane asylum. Little did she know of the murderous psychopath lurking in the shadows, obsessed and determined to break her and make her his.

Chapter 7

I opened my eyes, squinting as I tried to adjust to the light in the room. My head was right next to a night-lamp. I sat up in bed and looked around, memories of what happened last night flashing back to me. I looked over and saw that mister j’s side of the bed was empty. I began to wonder. Now that he’s had his way with me, would he toss me to the side? Or worse, kill me? I saw a red and black nightgown hanging over Mister J’s closet. I forced my naked and weary body out of bed and slipped into it.

With this being the first moment I’d had alone for two days I saw that my purse was on the closet counter. I opened it and grabbed my phone, and opened it. ‘’Missed Calls: 16 (Mom)’’ Shit, shit, shit fuck. It was first now that I realized how serious all of this was. I was in another city in god knows where with a murderer. I had just left all my stuff at my house and left without thinking twice about it. And for what? One steamy night of desire? God what the hell is wrong with me? I opened my message inbox and started typing ‘’Hi Mom, I’m such a klutz! I’m at June’s cabin for the next couple of days. We’re going hiking and stuff, I had to leave in such a hurry that I completely forgot to leave a note, sorry! Love you.’’ I felt tears form in my eyes as I fell to the floor and started sobbing.

My legs were weak and my head fell down to the floor. My body gave up and I couldn’t move anymore. Laying on my side, tears streaming down my cheeks, I could taste the bitter salty taste of my own tears as they grazed my lips. I felt lost, like my entire world has just gone under. Like I had lost everything. A part of my mind had already decided that the joker lost his interest in me the minute he got his way and would now discard me like a piece of trash. And if that was the case, how would I get home?

My mind was so unclear that I wasn’t even sure if I knew what home was anymore. Where would I find a taxi? Which bus would I take? And how would I know I was there when I was there, you know? ‘’Trouble sleeping?’’ I heard a voice in the doorway. I turned around swiftly and saw mister j standing there with his pants on and purple plastic gloves. My eyes wandered to his torso, looking at his tattoos. ‘’What’s the time?’’ I asked him. My voice came out like a weak whimper. He gave me a strange look, probably trying to figure out why I had collapsed on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. ‘’3:30’’ he replied with the same expression on his face. I grabbed the bathroom counter and pulled myself up.

Fiddling with the soap bar I looked at my puddin. ‘’What are you going to do to me?’’ I asked. He tilted his head, confused at my remark. ‘’I mean –uh should I just, go? home? I won’t tell anyone where you live or anything mister J, you have my word. I would never be that stupid and I’m sure we could just forget about the whole thing, but you don’t need to kill me, please I-I just I don’t,’’ I began babbling like a crazy person. The joker just stood there and stared at me. Then something in his eyes changed. He slammed his hand on the sink, shutting me up immediately. ‘’SHUT UP’’ he shouted at me.

Then he started walking towards me. I had nowhere to go. The only way to go was backwards and there I would eventually meet the wall. ‘’blah blah blah blaaa blaah blah’’ he started laughing. His eyes were pitch black. ‘’Did you really think you were going home? Are you really that stupid? Oh noo, you’re not going anywhere dollface. What? You think I’m finished with you?’’ I felt the wall collide with my back and I stopped, standing on my toes with my head turned to the side. He was getting closer and closer, which terrified me given what state of mind he was in right now.

He shaked his head at me like I was a little child who had just disobeyed my parent. ‘’Tsk, tsk, tsk silly little girl. You’re not going anywhere dollface. You belong to me.’’ He wrapped his hands around my neck and lifted me up, causing me to choke. My feet were dangling and my eyes were wide like two cherry pies as I groaned and tried to get out of his deadly grip. He held me like that until I had learned my lesson. Then he let go and held onto my waist so I wouldn’t fall. He stroked my cheek with one finger and place one single kiss on my bruised neck. ‘’Say it.’’ He demanded.

I looked at him and in that moment, I surrendered. ‘’I’m yours.’’ He inhaled sharply and exhaled, his chest rising like a wild animal. ‘’Again.’’ I kissed his crimson lips and placed my hands on his jaw. ‘’I’m yours daddy, I belong to you.’’ With his hand around my waist, he used it to lift me over his shoulder and started to walk out into the hallway. Turning right on a corner he placed me on the kitchen counter.

The kitchen was huge, gold based with chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. ‘’What’s? –Ssshh’’ he stopped me and started to dig through a drawer. He stopped and smiled, presumably having just found what he was looking for. He pulled out a tattoo-gun. ‘’Let’s seal the deal pumpkin’’ he grinned. I nodded my head with smiling eyes.

‘’Sit up straight.’’ He said. I did as I was told and sat up, facing him. He used his knee to separate my legs and sneaked in-between them. His hands pushed the right strap of my nightgown down to my elbow and stroked my collarbone. He placed the tattoo-gun at the beginning of my collarbone, next to my heart and started it. I flinched when it came in contact with my skin which made mister j chuckle. ‘’Did that tickle?’’ I just shot him a glare and looked up. He shushed me and started rubbing circles on my thigh.

I looked up at the chandeliers, chewing on my bottom lip to numb the pain. Every time he detached the gun from my skin, I drew a short breath, preparing for the next wave of pain. His touch calmed me down, made me feel a bit more relaxed and comfortable.

When he was finished, he rubbed some alcohol on it blew on it. I jumped off of the counter wand tiptoed over to the nearest mirror. I looked at myself, tilting my head. On the skin just above my collarbone it read Lucky you. From this moment on, I felt like I didn’t belong to myself anymore. I was his. His property, his toy, his girl. And I liked that.  ‘’You should get some rest, I’m taking you out tomorrow’’ I nodded my head and let him lead me to bed. I climbed under the silky covers and drifted off to sleep the second I shut my eyes.

The next morning felt entirely different. I felt rested and at peace with myself. I wasn’t scared anymore, or anxious about where people thought I was or what was going to happen to me. I knew that in my heart I had always wanted this. The rush, the danger. Mister J could provide that for me. He knew which buttons to push to send me over the edge and he was the most unpredictable human being I’d ever encountered. I never knew if he was going to push me into the wall and bite me or stroke my neck as he purred in my ear.

My tattoo was still stinging slightly but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. When I looked at my nightstand, I saw a plate of cupcakes. They had purple and green frosting on them and a bloody smiley face. Ha-ha, very cute. ‘’Good evening’’ I heard an unfamiliar voice from behind me. I turned around quickly and covered myself up with the duvet. It was one of the joker’s goons. ‘’Evening?’’ I asked confused. ‘’That’s right sleeping beauty. You’ve been out for hours. The boss will be here in about two, be ready when he’s here, he’s taking you to his club. I wouldn’t make him wait if I was you, clothes and all that is in the bathroom.’’ He mumbled and left, shutting the door behind him.

‘’Gee, thanks’’ I said to myself as I got up and walked into the bathroom. On one of the pink sofas next to the bathtub was a golden dress and on the counter, a bag of makeup. I looked inside the bag and it was filled with every single product that I kept in the one at home, only brand new. I smiled to myself. I must say, Mister J. Holding the dress in front of me, I smirked. It was beautiful. I’d say it was about mid-thigh-length and perfectly revealing. You could just catch a glimpse of my breasts in it, but it wouldn’t reveal so much that it took away the fun. I put my hair up and started getting ready. It felt good to see my face with makeup on after walking barefaced since I arrived here after my episode in the car.

 Since my puddin was taking me to his club I decided to be a little more bold than usual with both my hair and makeup. I added some black into it and a winged eyeliner which surprisingly turned out really well. Then I curled my hair and blow dried it to make it bigger. Finally I put the dress on and looked at myself in the mirror. I’d never in my life had this feeling of seeing my own reflection and genuinely been able to say that I looked hot. Luckily for me, Mister j was expected home in about five minutes, so I had time to put some perfume on and do some touch-ups on my face.

I wanted to look sexy for him. That was the only way I could control this. My sexuality and sex appeal was my only way of keeping him in check. I wanted him to want me. ‘’Y/N!’’ I heard from the bedroom. ‘’Yes, daaddyy’’ I dragged out with a soft and sugary sweet tone. ‘’Come here. Let me look at ya.’’ I quickly slipped into the golden heels he had put out for me and kicked the door open with my foot. Walking out five or six steps, I made sure to sway my hips as I walked, although not making it to obvious that I was trying to turn him on.

He was about to speak, but stopped once he saw me walking. It turned me on to think about that he had picked out these clothes for me, because he wanted to see me in them. He stood in silence for about six seconds before he twisted his head around and growled in frustration. He extended his hand and I grabbed it and bowed before him. This seemed to get him even more worked up. ‘’Daddy is gonna have some fun with you later.’’ I giggled and walked up to him as we started walking towards the door. His arm holding a protective grip around my shoulder. ‘’Oh and dollface?’’ ‘’Huh?’’ ‘’I want you to raise hell tonight.’’ We both grinned at each other as we got into his Purple Lamborghini and sped to the flashing lights of Gotham City.