I’m going to start by swearing this isn’t me just complaining but a general resource for the Yuri on Ice fandom because I’ve noticed some mistakes in the naming conventions used among the fandom and want to help correct them. Especially in how the fandom treats diminutives. I absolutely love seeing the huge amount of interest in Russian diminutives, etc. in fanart and fics and hopefully this breakdown will help continue that trend and interest and even spur some more ideas in fandom content.
So let’s go through some important details below the cut!
i know i dont really talk to you guys but i want you to get to know me. so heres 100 questions you can ask me, just send a number or make up your own questions.
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4: What do you think about most?
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
7: What’s your strangest talent?
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
13: What’s your religion?
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
17: What was the last lie you told?
18: Do you believe in karma?
19: What does your URL mean?
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
23: How do you vent your anger?
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
36: Define Art.
37: Do you believe in luck?
38: What’s the weather like right now?
39: What time is it?
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
41: What was the last book you read?
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
43: Do you have any nicknames?
44: What was the last film you saw?
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
50: Do you believe in magic?
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
52: What is your astrological sign?
53: Do you save money or spend it?
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
55: Love or lust?
56: In a relationship?
57: How many relationships have you had?
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
59: Where were you yesterday?
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
62: What’s your favourite animal?
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
64: Where is your best friend?
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
66: What is your heritage?
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
77: How can I win your heart?
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
80: What size shoes do you wear?
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
82: What is your favourite word?
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
87: What is your current desktop picture?
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
98: Ever been on a plane?
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
i like your blog but you post to many black goths. imho they just dont look right.
They look just as beautiful as any white goths and they have the right to express themselves and exist in this space as much as anyone else.
I’ve said this before but I’ll repeat since it needs to be said:
There is no right skin colour to be goth. Period. Goth is a composite of multiple things and appearance is just one fraction of all that. Skin colour, hair colour, make-up style, gender, and whatnot do not define whether you can be goth or not, and no way is the “right” way to have them.
The pale red-lipped and black-haired girl dressed in all black might be the stereotype of a goth but that is a very shallow and one-sided representation of the people in the community. How many of us actually fit into that stereotype? How many of us strive to look like that because if we don’t, we will get told we don’t look right? Goth has since its beginning featured many ethnicities, and there is nothing weird about non-white goths in the subculture. Research information and photos of the English goth scene in the 80s. There are loads of non-white goths absolutely rocking the original look (not to mention creating other forms of gothy art like alternative music). The main reason it “doesn’t look right” to you is because the stereotype is so strong and over-represented in gothic imagery. But we all know stereotypes can be terribly, terribly wrong, which leads to this kind of racism (yes, that’s what this is).
There are many gothic styles I personally don’t like, but it is not my place to tell those people that I don’t think they look good. I wouldn’t want them telling me that, so why would I do that to others? And I’m talking about styles that someone chooses to wear, so can you even imagine hearing it about something you cannot choose like skin colour? I understand that it is your personal preference and your opinion but is it necessary to bring it up when all it will do is discourage people from being a part of a community they feel they belong to? There’s a ton of people outside the subculture whose ignorance can make being a goth difficult, we shouldn’t be doing that to each other within the subculture too.
Some goths are black, some goths are Asian, some goths wear hijabs, some goths keep their natural hair, the list goes on. And they all look gorgeous and have as much right to express themselves in the subculture as white goths. In reality the subculture is extremely diverse but there is so much gate-keeping from goths who think that you need to look like X and listen to Y that we end up only seeing a glimpse of it all. That shouldn’t be, and as corny as it sounds, we should try to create a comfortable, safe community instead of one that shuns people out because they do not fit a stereotype.
The non-white goths aren’t going anywhere from my blog, they belong there as much as any white goth, classic horror heroine or Addams Family member.
Yo could you share some of your headcanons for the deh kiddos :O ?! I'm really curious!!
*cracks knuckles* HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT (these are generally feel-good and going off of a Connor Lived And Everything Gets Better AU set of ten [+ one extra] headcanons for the kids where they’re all friends)
Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death
~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted
~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”
~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)
~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes
~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”
~They spend the rest of the night talking about it
~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful
~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics
~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own
~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy
~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other
~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately
~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help
~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”
~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth
~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”
~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text
~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters
~The rest come really quickly after that
~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone
~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”
~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)
~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet
~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back
~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time
~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him
~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout
~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them
~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)
~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons
~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)
~WEEKEND TRIPS AT MOUNT VERNON WITH EVERYONE
~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all
~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars
~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside
~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking
~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun
~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex
~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says
~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…”
~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George
~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”
~All the hate sex
~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)
~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand
~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)
~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why
~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them
~MARIA REYNOLDS PROTECTION SQUAD
~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler
~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza
~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat
~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation
~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it
~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all
~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice
there are so many important messages that suga is trying to convey to his listeners through his mixtape and im sure that if you’ve read the lyric translations, you definitely know what i mean. i am seriously blown away that we’ve been fans of bts for what, 3 years now? for 3 years, ARMYs have easily labelled yoongi as ‘lazy’, given him that ‘idagf’ image, and yet, we were oblivious to so many of his hardships. we’ve always known that he’s hardworking, more quiet than the other members, and more reflective, but this mixtape honestly blew me away because yoongi’s gone through so much in his idol career and we had no idea.
first off, he touches on a sensitive topic that idols don’t speak openly about: mental health. he raps about seeing a psychiatrist, battling with depression, self-hate, experiencing social phobia since age 18, putting on a front, and loneliness. His entire song “The Last” really touches on this:
a word said like habit, oh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck those words are all words I use to hide my weak self that time I want to erase, that’s right, the memories I want to erase of that day I had that concert I was afraid of people, so I hid in the bathroom and stared at myself
and in “So Far Away”:
I’m in so much pain and lonliness but people around me keeping telling me to regain my consciousness I try to vent my anger but I only got myself so what’s the point of venting my anger I’m scared to open my eyes everyday and start breathing
these lyrics from ‘At Dawn’ also illustrate this:
I pretend I’m not lonely, I pretend I’m not suffering I pretend I’m okay for no reason, meaninglessly I pretend to be strong don’t come over the wall I’ve put up in front of myself don’t throw me off this island in this wide sea
he also talks about his struggles during his trainee days and i dont think he’s ever talked in depth about this period of his life. this mixtape gives us some insight about him moving to seoul, getting a part time job to afford the cost of living in the city, going to school dead tired after work, and still training with big hit to live out his dreams
was I needy for success? No just needy for money it’d been a long time since I forgot the words ‘in style’ I practiced at night and went to my part time job at dawn then even if I dragged that tired body to school I just slept I became 20 that way, the sight of the graduation room was suspicious
and the fact that he admits he puts up a front:
I hide the self that’s behind my defensive posture I hide myself completely like I’ve become a criminal, always I can’t even take one step outside the dorm that’s like a prison
all of these are reasons im so moved. because it really highlights how idols only show one side of themselves to the camera, and fans can never really know them fully. we only know the version of bts’ min yoongi that he wants to show us through shows and broadcasts.
behind every idol rapper who succeeds there’s a weak self standing, it’s a little dangerous I fall sometimes again into depression and compulsion hell no, anyway I don’t even know if that’s the real me
but through his music? through his mixtape, he’s trying to show us another side of him, and i’m so thankful that he’s opened up to his worldwide audience. this takes courage. talking openly about your hardships and your weaknesses to people who look up to you, that takes some damn courage. so thank you, yoongi, for opening up to your fans.
So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:
TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game
is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and
still understand what we’re talking about.
This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.
I am dead serious.
Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major
Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.
Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself
Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with
Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA
future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had
Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.
One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that
the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love
and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we
loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of
John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other
Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.
SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn
is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it
wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity.
It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags
hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it
doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or
similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human
beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones.
Not the carapacians.)
Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.
Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey
Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens
It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about
escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get
to do awesome things and be a heroic person.
Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is
dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out
also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance,
SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to
wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want
and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk
all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s
a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends
in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.
The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and
ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have
its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about
you at all.
SBURB does not care about you at all.
The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances
and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some
grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a
personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all
the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s
empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a
great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.
One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the
self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated.
SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use
them for a lot of different purposes.
There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and
were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier
but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to
augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and
frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched
session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but
started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self
and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the
horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these
could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is
entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings,
To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we
thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something
like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died,
there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that
they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is
which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died
three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following
the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person,
like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.
The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little
new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.
John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are
both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same
people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may
not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from
Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s
perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to
life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s
that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?
Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed
timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?
There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay
because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not
the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle
with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate.
Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they
accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and
needs of the frog baby machine?
What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed
out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.
In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly
compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he
frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will
know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory.
To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:
[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters
die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he
saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die,
but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they
make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you
finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the
linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered
“real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows
better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error
game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where
unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many
deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.
The big man hass the answer.
Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.
Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one
of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale,
between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous,
and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the
fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What
meaning does victory hold if that is the case?
So, to put it in a nice thesis format:
One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an
arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and
suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile
if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?
What even is the self? Is there such a thing?
If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory
and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is
so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to
The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the
bullshit of SBURB.
And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon.
Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of
SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created,
perpetuated, and ended by that same system.
Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made,
which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development
that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this
feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as
saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately
written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance
between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel
eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.
I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that
“everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck
camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See:
Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to
be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time
and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was
ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious
acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in
this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme
Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions
of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to
understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the
I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There
are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in,
exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends
some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging
powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged
nightmare that is Lord English.) Can we even come up with a clear answer
to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad?
How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another
castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do
they know if they’re in the right castle?
Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that
personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion
might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s
self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way
of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his
angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like
Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love
it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be
cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from
John ultimately any different?
Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few
updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an
ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the
cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any
individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable
to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta
even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers
between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be
incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves
perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)
Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly
expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for
Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes
philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself
disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or
the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that
mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?
(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal
principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction
And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his
other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder
if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our
victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they
become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just
individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative
of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got
dropped at the last minute.
Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing
it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to
have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching
system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU
HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it
more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer
to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence,
personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination.
Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your
nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate
personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to
I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly.
Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to
escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for
a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB
together, in finding a cathartic ending. Once again, I wonder if something
was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s
places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s
kind of ambiguous.
You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of
Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a
fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to
whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an
emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia,
you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it
heaps upon you along the way.
This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some
way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to
them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as
authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a
Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle
leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious
versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader
decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that
decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all
the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their
experiences—character development being one of the things most people found
most lacking in the ending.
Things that are actually empowering to women and girls:
becoming physically stronger empowers us. exercising your body not only makes your body stronger and more powerful, but it brings discipline and helps you connect with your body instead of disconnect.
being able to physically be at a location is empowering. feminists should be fighting to make all places accessible to disabled women.
disabled women should also have access to any type of exercises and physical therapy they can do. i would especially like to see more public pools having more physical therapy programs. swimming is a great way to exercise for strength while not putting any gravitational or impact on your body
Knowledge is empowering. having knowledge about how our own bodies work is empowering. women and girls who are.knowledgeable are not easily misled. in this vein, learning how to properly debate arguments and think critically about yours and others words and beliefs is empowering. having the ability to trust yourself comes with gaining knowledge.
3. Access to Fulfilling Work.
work that feeds our love and passion is empowering. workplaces with atmospheres where everyone is happy and excited to work with women are empowering. workplaces free from sexual attacks empower women. women stimulating their minds and souls is empowering. women doing the work they find stimulating gives us a sense of purpose.
many women of all different walks of life have a high propensity for art. charging them with female representation in media will empower us all by putting forth the huge diversity that women display as human beings with full experiences and lives and stories to tell.
evidence shows that the least depressed cohort of women are the ones who work and who are financially independent, not the married housewives.
4. Reproductive and Sexual Rights.
women having control over our own.reproduction is empowering. women having orgasms and thinking about our own pleasure during sex is empowering. women accepting their own physical form and refusing to be disrespected by men who find them unacceptable because of their physical form is empowering. women refusing intercourse if it does nothing for their pleasure or they dont want to take the risk is empowering. women not being forced to sell their own bodies is empowering. women having control over OUR OWN BODIES is freedom.
Things that are NOT empowering to girls and women:
being small, delicate, and on display is not empowering and it never will be. wearing high heels damages our feet and is not empowering. wearing makeup because society does not believe we as women are acceptable without it is not empowering. having long and/or fake nails limits the use of our hands and is not empowering. our collective bodies are not for men to look at and enjoy as they go about their day in comfortable, dignified clothing.
kindness, nurturing, and the desire to help others are good qualities in moderation, and they should be thouhght of as sex-neutral qualities everyone should work on, not just women. women are not the only ones who should be expected to be nurturing and giving.
aspiring for smallness is the opposite of enpowering. women need to eat. women are allowed to grow. our goal should be comfort and health, not emancipation and fragility.
our hands are for doing tasks and our feet are for mobility. our faces are to house our brains and feed us, not a thing for men to find either acceptable or unacceptable to look at. every part of our bodies are for OUR use, not for the use of others. we exist for ourselves. our bodies are not naturally political and they are all acceptable and worthy of humanity, no matter what they look like or what issues they have.
Submissiveness is not empowering. lowering your worth until it is under the worth you give someone elses humanity is self-harm. humiliation and degredation arise out of the degraders sense of superiority over the one submitting to him. being treated as inferior will never empower anyone.
4. Marriage and Traditional Nuclear Family
marriage is a contract of ownership where women take on the last name of men. nuclear families are an extension of male ownership to not only include women but the children they objectify as their legacy of power. men expect women to raise children while they work, but women have goals and dreams too. men expect women to drop these goals and sacrifice only their lives to raise children that men see as their property and investment. men leave the majority of menial housework and micro-cleaning to women. marriage and nuclear families will never be empowering.
5. Outside Control over Reproduction.
up to and including abortion. ALSO involving lack of access to childcare and paid leave. this one explains itself.
6. The Sex Industry.
Mens entitlement over females and our bodies will NEVER be empowering and MUST end.
Now, can people stop using this word for things that ARENT giving women any actual power? Glad we had this talk.
I'm not one of those who blames Harry for what is happening rn, but man, I'm side eyeing the fuck out of Jeff. I dont know what restrictions Harry still has and all that, but this is some terrible shit tbh. Like, all these rumours about premiering his music before Dunkirk... that would be terrible!!! It would so undermine and overshadow his role in Dunkirk. Terrible business decision. And now the timing of this registration... it couldnt be worst tbh. I really hope Jeff knows what he's doing
I agree with you, and also, I’m going to go on a bit of a rant because I can’t not. I just honestly think everything related to Harry’s solo career is
absurd right now. Harry has been almost entirely cut off from the fandom
pretty much since hiatus began. I think that’s fine, and honestly, and I
know we’ve all missed him, but I think Harry (possibly even more than
the others) needed that time to himself. I think it gave him time to
recover from such a tough schedule with One Direction, I think it gave
him a break from the fan service and BS that really seemed to have
burned him out, and it gave him time to focus on Dunkirk, which was
obviously something outside of his comfort zone that required his full
concentration. But Jesus Christ, man. This is beyond ridiculous at this
We’ve gotten countless media sources, celebrities, and
others in the industry talking about his debut album. And because he’s
not talking, all of these people and sources are talking FOR him - and
we don’t even know which of the things they’re saying are correct and
which are completely false. And blah blah blah yeah, obviously the media
is gonna talk about solo Harry regardless, but you’re lying to yourself
if you think that his team couldn’t have shut up some of the people who
have run their mouths about solo Harry at this point. And if the media
is going to always make claims about his future music, both true and
false, why wouldn’t he just speak for himself? Why wouldn’t his team
speak for him? Why have they allowed this to happen for so fucking long?
And don’t even give me that bullshit about oh, they just want to keep
anticipation up - because at this point, that tactic doesn’t even make
sense. I honestly don’t even know how solo Harries are alive right now
considering they get hyped up for his music every two days based on what
so-and-so said to the media. It’s fucking EXHAUSTING and it eventually
burns people out to be constantly disappointed when they’re promised
that something is about to happen and then it doesn’t. I’ve seen a lot
of burnout in this fandom in the last week alone on the solo Harry
front, and that’s so sad to see because things could have been so
If they’re gonna have a dude from Columbia come out
here and tell me that an album is nearly done, and then have Grimmy say
he was about to hear the album, and then have a touring company
registered like a tour is gonna be in the works sometime soon when they
haven’t said jack shit about ANYTHING, that’s beyond frustrating to me.
You don’t have to give every fucking detail but god, not even a
confirmation that the album is coming? NOTHING. Nothing at all.
kept up fan service pretty consistently last year and eventually
dropped music. Liam posts updates about his album progress to his social
media, and yeah, his album still isn’t out, but there also haven’t been
fifty people saying to the press every four days that it’s almost done.
Niall was active on social media and kept up fan service last year
before dropping his single as a surprise. Harry has done none of that,
and I’m not saying that Harry has to do it the way the other boys did,
but this is….really yikes. I don’t understand what the fuck his team
is playing at, I really don’t. I know that Harry is the most famous in
the band and I know that his music is the most anticipated, but he is
not some untouchable artist with a shitload of street cred where his
album is guaranteed to top at number one. I know this fandom might want
to think that’s the case, but it isn’t. He is not Beyonce with numerous
successful albums and decades in the industry. He has never put out solo
music, and not only that, but we don’t have even the vaguest clue as to
what his solo music would SOUND like at this point because again, we’ve
heard nothing from his team.
The way this is being executed
screams lazy and arrogant to me, and Harry is neither of those things,
so I want to know what the deal is. To have this buildup for over a year
with everyone else talking about it except for the people whose voices
count the most and just expecting fans to be there, still waiting and
ready and foaming at the mouth whenever you choose to drop music even
though you never bothered to say anything about it….that doesn’t rub
me the right way at all, I’m sorry. And listen, knowing this fandom and
how much solo Harries have stayed pumped, it might work for them, it,
but god, that is just….I don’t understand how people can respect that
method of doing things. Us, the fans, as future consumers of his music,
as the people who ensured that Harry is in the position he’s in today,
deserve better than this. I know that fandom entitlement is a thing and
we don’t deserve a lot of things that we think we deserve, but are
people really gonna try to act like having confirmation of an album from
Harry or his team is asking too much? Wanting some respect, and some
clarity, and some basic fucking facts (for example: Are you coming out
with an album? When is it coming out?) for Harry’s FIRST SOLO ALBUM EVER
after over a year of almost complete silence from him (and silence
about his future plans long before that) is perfectly reasonable,
especially considering how much we’ve been jerked around about Harry’s
solo career for like five years now, and quite frankly, anyone trying to
suggest otherwise is fooling themselves. Harry’s team may not be able
to control everything the media or other artists do or say about solo
Harry, but they can (or at least, you would think they would be able to)
control their own behavior, and at least so far, it seems like they’re
just letting everybody else do the work for them (and do it messily at
that, considering how many lies and ridiculous speculation has been
published and passed around over the past year or so).
really frustrated because I don’t understand why his team is doing this
and why they’re giving this impression of not knowing what they’re doing
(e.g. the Full Stop website) or just not caring (e.g. [the metric for
success] “is just existing”). With a lot of the Louis bullshit, even
without knowing the exact details of what’s going on, you can usually
figure out quite quickly that a) they’re actively trying to fuck him
over and b) why they’re actively trying to fuck him over. The
involvement of the stunts tainting everything Louis does also makes the
intentions of his team clear (though no less infuriating). But this
stuff with Harry? I don’t understand it and can’t even begin to imagine
why things are being done this way. I don’t think it’s fair to the fans
and I think it’s doing a huge disservice to Harry, his music, and if the
rumors about when he’s dropping the music are correct, his acting
career. I just really, really hope that there’s a huge change soon
because I’m really cringing at what I’m seeing so far. I wish I
understood any of this, but I don’t and watching it all happen is
Alright, some of my word vomit is out. If people disagree with me, that’s fine, but this is my opinion. And no, I don’t think negatively of Harry or anything like that, I’m just not pleased with how things are being handled by his team (just as I’m not pleased with how Louis’ team is doing things) and I need to voice that.
Plot- gonna skip this today cause i feel like it would ruing the story if you knew what was going on so, it s a surprise
Warnings- language like usual, angst
A/n ok so im like super proud of this cause I’ve had this idea for a really long time and i like how it turned out. Let me know what you think!!!
You sighed, leaning forward on the counter and tapping your fingers against the wood, leisurely scrolling through tumblr to pass the time at your job. You were bored out of your mind. Every Friday, you worked the night shift at the small little coffee shop you worked at. It was easy, hardly anyone came in at night, and you were allowed to drink a few coffee’s to keep your eyes open, so it wasn’t anything too bad. Plus, there was the extra cash, so.
But, above all, there was one major plus in working the night shift, and that was your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. He came by to buy a coffee once, you ended up talking for hours, and it just kinda became a thing between you two. Eventually he would bring some snacks, as you often got hungry in the night, and you would sit together and drink coffee and eat snacks with him. Well, you ate, he refused to lift his mask that high, and you respected him as to not lose his trust. Of course you wondered who he was, when you first became friends it killed you (not to mention something about his voice was so familiar), but you accepted his secret and let it be.
To be honest, you really enjoyed his company and looked forward to these Friday nights. You didn’t know how many times you had refused to skip a week of the night shift in order to go out on a Friday with your friends. They all eventually learned to plan their nights out on Saturday. You didn’t want to ditch Spiderman, or have him worry. He had freaked out once when you were sick, thinking something had happened to you, and you thought it was really sweet. You worried about him too, a lot considering what he did. He rushed off all the time in the middle of your conversations, and most of the time you wouldn’t see him until next week. Of course you would see on the news that he was fine and had taken down the threat, and that would put you at ease until the next time it happened.
It was dumb, and you knew it was, but you couldn’t help but have a little bit of a crush on him. He was sweet and kind to you, and you loved being around him. You knew you had no chance, you didn’t even know his name for god’s sake, but it was a nice thought. Not, that you thought about it often. You definitely didn’t daydream about him romantically taking off his mask and taking you into his arms before kissing you and-…no, you definitely didn’t think about that.
A few months ago, the light almost silent sound of someone landing outside your stand would have scared the shit out of you, especially at this time of night. But you were more than used to it now, and smiled as you turned around and saw the mask of your favorite superhero.
“Hey Spidey,” you leaned on the edge of the counter to greet him before turning to make his usual espresso, “Slow night?”
“Ya, but hey I’m not complaining. In this business, you don’t want a busy night.” he said with a dorky giggle at the end.
You had to stop yourself from swooning. God, he was just so cute!
“Can’t argue with that.” you handed him the coffee, and as usual, he tried to hand over the money but you pushed it back, “How many times do I have to tell you, Superheroes drink free.” You winked.
Although you couldn’t see his face, you had a feeling he was smiling, you could tell from his voice.
“Thanks (Y/n). So how’s your week been?” he asked.
You went into the usual retelling of your week, as he listened intently, lifting his mask just enough to get the straw under and to his mouth. He then followed with his own stories from the week, which you often argued was the more interesting part of your conversation but he insisted he liked yours better.
“But by far the worst part was when this dude tried to tase me.” he chuckled, and you too couldn’t contain your own giggles. Just imagining him swinging around trying to avoid getting tased.
“Hey, it’s not funny. See, this is the kind of thanks I get for trying to protect you citizens. I was promised the pretty girls would be swooning over me, but instead all I get is laughed at.”
You only laughed harder, until his words processed in your minds, “Wait, you think I’m pretty…?” you trailed off, your amused smile turning to a hopeful one, and you prayed he didn’t pick up on it.
His whole body seemed to go rigid for a split second as he himself realized what he had said, “Uh, I um- I mean uh-” he floundered for a moment, reaching up and running the back of his neck while looking anywhere but at you as he tried to gather his thoughts. Then he froze, looking off into the distance.
You knew that look. His spidey-senses were tingling.
And the moment was gone.
“It’s ok, go save the city.” You smiled, playfully nudging his shoulder.
He looked at you, and you wished you could see the emotions on his face, but all you got was a rushed, “Bye (Y/n). See you next week.”
And it was over. Just like that, the best part of your week had gone by, and you would have to wait a whole seven days before you got it again.
During rest of your shift, and the moments up to when you fell asleep that night, all you thought about was him. Or, more specifically, what would have happened between you and him if he hadn’t had to go at that moment. That night you dreamt of him, or at least someone like him.
Slamming your locker shut, you dropped your head onto the cool metal, “I definitely bombed that test.”
“Same.” your friend mumbled, her eyes fixated on her phone.
“Seriously am I crazy or was that nothing like the study guide?”
“Both.” she winked as you began to walk towards your car.
You laughed, climbing into the driver’s seat as she got into the passengers.
Looking through the rearview mirror, you froze as you saw an oh so familiar car pulling up.
It was Tony Starks. Or, rather, his drivers, coming by like he did every Monday to pick up Peter.
You felt the air drain out of you as you saw Peter run out of the school and into the car, the tinted windows preventing you from seeing anything else.
You gripped the steering wheel and tore your eyes away, looking down. It was ridiculous really. It’s been so long. Why did it still hurt so bad just seeing him?
“Hey,” you felt a comforting hand on your arm, “Does it still hurt that much?” she asked.
She was right to be surprised, it had been almost two months since you broke up with Peter, and as bad as you wanted to, you just couldn’t move on. It was like something was keeping you hung up on him.
He was the first significant other you had really loved, but you never even got the chance to say it. After just over a year of being together, he began to grow distant. He would disappear, miss dates, ignore texts and calls. And the weirdest part was when he would show up with random bruises and cuts. No matter how much you begged, he wouldn’t explain. According to Aunt May, he was sneaking out at night and not coming home till the morning. Not to mention his sudden friendship with Tony Stark, which he claimed was an internship, but he never went into too much detail about it.
It was all just too much. The lies and excuses drove you insane, and you eventually forced yourself to end it. He had just stared at you with huge eyes when you did it, and you knew if he had simply asked you to stay, you would have. But he didn’t ask. And you didn’t stay.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” you mumbled, putting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking lot.
Standing by the window of your coffee stand, you impatiently tapped a beat into the counter. Your coworker was 30 minutes late with no explanation as to why, which meant you were stuck here until her or your boss showed up, whichever happened first. It was almost 9, and you had a crap load of homework to do, but you were stuck in the goddamn stand.
You folded your arms before resting your head on them. A few minutes passed before you heard the sound of a car pulling up.
When you looked up, and saw a van about twenty feet from the stand.
The side door slid open.
“What the hell…?” you mumbled, standing up straight.
As soon as the words left your mouth, a man jumped out and began firing at the stand with a machine gun.
You shrieked, and dropped to the ground, covering your head.
The firing didn’t stop, and you began to crawl towards the back door, but as you reached the door knob, it was pulled open. A man stood outside, and grabbed you, pulling you to your feet and dragging you along with him.
He pushed you forward to the center of the group that had exited the van. They didn’t seem like anyone special, just a group of very scary looking people.
You tripped and just barely kept your balance, looking around at the circle that had formed around you.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Call him!” a girl spat at you.
“W-what?” you stammered, “I don’t know what your talking about please-”
“Don’t play dumb with us. You dont think no one’s noticed the Spiderman coming here every week? He obviously knows you and unless you call him here the next time he sees ya is gonna be in a body bag!”
You flinched back, tears filling your eyes, “I don’t, I don’t know who he is he just stops by to talk i really don’t-” you screamed as one of the fired into the air.
“Just kill the crying bitch. Leave her as a warning- mmh!” His mouth was suddenly covered in webs before he was kicked in the face.
“Is that really how you talk to a lady?” a familiar voice asked, standing over the guy as he webbed him up.
There was yelling and a lot of gunshots, then for some reason you were laying on the ground.
You could hardly keep up with the red and blue blur that was Spiderman. Watching him fight was mesmerising, nothing like listening to his retellings of it. He always down played his feats.
Then all at once there was a pain in your stomach, and you couldn’t contain your scream of pain. It was like nothing you had felt before.
“(Y/n)? (Y/n)! Open your eyes!”
When had you closed your eyes? Nevertheless, you opened them and saw the masked face you had grown to close too. He had pulled you into his lap and was gently moving your hair out of your face.
“What…what happened?” you breathed.
“You were shot oh god (Y/n) I’m so sorry this is all my fault I should’ve come faster or better yet just never let them get to you in the first place just just stay awake ok Mr Stark is bringing help he’ll fix you oh god-” you couldn’t quite hear the rest of his rambles, but instead focused on the increasing feeling of familiarity. His voice, it made you feel comfortable, and safe, and reminded you of better times. You felt happy, closing your eyes, listening to the sound of his voice, and leaning into his touch. It was soft and loving. And for some reason, Peter was all you could think about. Peter. Why him, why now? Why was he the one?
You could hear him calling your name.
Or, was it Spiderman.
You couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes to check.
And as you slipped into unconsciousness, there was only one thing on your mind.
He felt sick.
He felt tired.
He felt like he had died.
But he wasn’t the one who had gotten hurt.
He sat in the hospital room, everything a sterile, too bright white. The only thing keeping him together was the sound of the heart monitor. Your heart monitor.
He didn’t want to look at you, he had already seen your skin, which was strikingly pale. He had already seen your face, with dry lips and a tube to help you breath. He had already seen your bandged up stomach, where the bullet wou d had been.
He just wanted to see your eyes. For you to be awake.
But until then, he didn’t want to see you because then it became too real.
He did this too you, and it was killing him.
The door opened, and peter didn’t have to look up to know who it was.
Mr Stark placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Here kid, you gotta eat something.” he place a box on the table next to them.
Peter stayed silent, so he spoke again, “All those times you went on and on about (Y/n) I figured the first time I would be meeting her would be at the engagement party.” he said, trying to lift the mood.
“She wasn’t even my girlfriend.” Peter simply said, keeping his gaze on the floor.
“What? I thought you said-”
“She broke up with me. Because I was keeping secrets. I didn’t tell her cause I thought she would be in danger if I did. And I took her for granted and she broke up with me.” he paused for a moment and Tony heard his sniffling, “But I love her and I couldn’t stay away so I was being selfish and talking to her as Spiderman. And I fell in love with her all over again. And I was an idiot and I almost killed her.”
The room was silent, the steady beating of your heart the only thing making noise.
“You’re right, you were an idiot. You can’t protect people by keeping them in the dark. But this isn’t your fault, kid. You did everything you could, and she isn’t dead, just injured. So my advice is to tell her the truth and pray she’ll take you back when she wakes up. This life isn’t worth losing someone you love over. Trust me.” Tony stood, sympathetically patting his shoulder again, before leaving the room.
For the second time since he had gotten to the hospital, he brought his tear filled eyes up to look at you.
He had missed you more than words could describe. When you broke up with him, he felt his heart breaking, and he hadn’t been able to make himself saying anything. He regretted that everyday. If he had just asked, would he have been able to make you stay?
He took your limp hand in his.
He wanted nothing more but to hold you again, kiss you again.
Finally tell you he loved you.
But for now, this was as close as he could get.
He would just have to wait and hope.
What do you think?? Is it good? Let me know, i love you all!!
Ok so this is yet another idea that I will NEVER have time to write (for those that follow my Cross the River one shots, I’m still sorry for inflicting the half finished fics on you haha. But I’m not sorry for inflicting this idea on you
Drunk. Ladynoir. Wedding.wait is ladynoir even technically a word?
It’s quite a few years into the future and Adrien and Marinette are happily revealed and happily married. Everything’s just friggin peachy
One day there is an akuma, a girl who got dumped by a dickhead bf for another girl and then goes on a rampage to show everyone she is ‘good enough.’ After they defeat her, they try to cheer her up
Chat, being Chat, thinks that being a flirt will help boost her self-esteem, bc, you know, getting flirted at by a superhero is an ego boost no matter how sad you are
Lo and behold, it backfires
The girl (lets call her Ada) gets pissed off that Chat is flirting with her right in front of Lady, because “Aren’t you guys like, together??”
Chat backpedals, Lady facepalms. No it’s still not official or public that they’re together (keep work separate from home, yknow what I’m sayin, and besides, it’s unwise to let Hawky know the full extent of how much they care for each other because they don’t want to be emotionally manipulated in battle)
The girl is like “shit I thought you guys were like.. the perfect relationship. Obviously not. If even you aren’t together, then where’s the hope for me…. sighh….” :’(
Ada is so upset that they decide to let her in on a little secret. That in their civilian lives… they are married
Ada is all, :’D omg seriously
(^..^) and >(:-:) are like, yeah, but dont tell anyone. It’s a secret. ((SLAPS YOU WITH HEAVY-HANDED FORESHADOWING)) Hey I know what’ll cheer you up, Ada. Lets go out for drinks!
AND SO MY FRIENDS, that is how Adrien and Mari end up spending a night on the town with a recent akuma victim as Chat and Lady…
AT 12 WE SAW A CREW MEMBER COME OUT OF THE BUS AND @sohelpmedun ASKED IF HE COULD GIVE MY LETTER (+ CLIQUE ART) TO THE BOYS AND HE SAID YES HE’D PUT IT ON THE TABLE IN THE BUS
AT 12:45 I WAS SO FREEZING COLD I WENT TO BUY A COFFEE IN RECORD TIME
AT 1:20 TYLER AND MARK ARRIVED AT THE VENUE AND WENT TO THE BUS AND I WENT UP TO THEM (KEEP IN MIND THAT THERE WAS STILL NO SECURITY BARRIER BUT I WAS SCARED I’D BE BOTHERING THEM SO I STILL KEPT A BIT OF DISTANCE). TYLER WAS WEARING A THIN OLIVE GREEN HOODIE WITH THE HOOD UP AND A BLACK/DARK BLUE CAP HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD. I SAID HI TYLER AND IM PRETTY SURE MY VOICE WENT A LIL TOO HIGH PITCHED AND HE SAID HEY HOW’S IN GOIN AND I FUCKING DIED AND I SAID GOOD AND HEY MARK AND MY MIND WENT COMPLETELY BLANK I WANTED TO TELL HIM I HAD A LETTER AND ART FOR HIM BUT ALL I COULD DO WAS STUTTER AND TYLER SAID LATER OKAY I SAID OKAY AND THEN I SAW SECURITY WAVING AT ME TO GET BACK SO I DID AND TYLER AND MARK WENT INTO THE BUS AND REAL SOON AFTER THEY WENT INTO THE VENUE
SOON AFTER I MET A COUPLE LOVELY PEOPLE WHOSE TUMBLRS I DID NOT CATCH BUT WE HUNG OUT AND WAITED FOR THE BOYS. BY THIS TIME I WAS DYING TO PEE BUT I HELD IT IN. THE SECURITY DUDE PUT UP THE BARRIER.
BETWEEN THAT TIME AND 2:30 TYLER WENT INTO THE BUS, JOSH ARRIVED AND ALSO WENT INTO THE BUS. WHEN WE SAW TYLER WE CALLED OUT TO HIM AND ASKED IF HE COULD COME OVER BUT HE SAID HE WAS COLD AND DID THAT CUTE LIL THING WHERE HE RUBBED HIS ARMS TO EMPHASIZE THAT AND IT WAS SO FUCKING CUTE I DIED AGAIN. MY MIND WENT BLANK AGAIN AND I COULDNT GET MY CAMERA OUT IN TIME SO I DIDN’T GET TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE TO HIM EXCEPT HI. WHEN JOSH GOT ON THE BUS WE YELLED HI TOO AND HE SAID HE WOULD COME SEE US LATER AND I YELLED I GOT ART FOR YOU BUT I WASN’T SURE IF HE HEARD BC HE HAD ALREADY GOTTEN IN THE BUS
AND THEN !!!!!!!!! AT 2:30 JOSH CAME OUT AND SAID IS THERE ART FOR ME SO THAT MEANS HE FUCKING HEARD ME AND I DIED YET AGAIN BUT APPARENTLY THERE WAS A GIRL WHO MADE ART FOR HIM AND SHE GAVE IT TO HIM AND IT LOOKED RLY GOOD IT WAS LIKE OIL PAINTING OR SOMETHING. ANYWAYS JOSH SAID HE COULDN’T STAY LONG BUT HE COULD TAKE PICTURES AND. HERES THE BEST PART. I ASKED HIM DID HE SEE MY LETTER AND HE SAID WHERE IS IT DID YOU GIVE IT TO SOMEONE AND I SAID YES HE SAID HE’D PUT IT ON YOUR TABLE AND HE SAID OKAY THEN I’LL SEE IT LATER AND BY THIS POINT MY BRAIN WAS ON AUTO FUCKING PILOT I DONT KNOW HOW I DIDNT JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM OR PEE MYSELF BUT I HELD MY SHIT TOGETHER AND DIED FOR LIKE THE MILLIONTH TIME. I TOOK A PICTURE WITH HIM AND HE WENT INTO THE VENUE.
I FUCKING MET TYLER JOSEPH AND JOSH DUN LOOK AT THAT HAIR THOSE CURLS HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL UP CLOSE AND NICE HE IS A LITERAL FUCKING ANGEL AND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IM GONNA GO WAIT OUTSIDE AFTER THE SHOW TO SEE IF I COULD CATCH THEM AGAIN
hi! i really liked your meta on the recent chapter and i wanted to know your opinion on why levi chose armin instead of erwin? im not trying to start drama but i just keep thinking about what flock said on chapter 90 and i dont know how i feel about it still. what are your thoughts on the subject??
Ahh. I understand, anon. I’ve given my thoughts on this before but, not since the original spoilers came out. After rereading the entire arc, I definitely have a few things to add. So, get comfy because this answer will be a really long one, and also best read on a computer because this will contain a lot of images.
This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is entirely canon or completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, that’s perfectly fine! Everyone has a different point of view, but if you are going to send me messages trying to argue point of views with me, tell me I’m wrong, or send me hate messages; do us both a favor and please just don’t even bother.
Let me start this out by saying that I’m positive a lot of people will not agree or even like my opinion on this but, I will be completely honest in my statements on the matter.
Flocke’s little speech made a lot of sense to me. Especially when it comes to Erwin but, it also pissed me off for a couple of reasons, and no, not because of his tone. It’s because of his ignorance. However, I am fully aware that I, as a reader of the story, get a first hand view of everything that happens. Flocke is a new recruit who was, up until recently, completely unaware of a lot that has gone on with the Survey Corps.
Regardless though, he still slightly pissed me off and you asked so therefor, I will answer lol. The first thing I want to touch on is how he complains about being a coward who didn’t understand the dangers of the role he was playing in the Wall Maria reclaiming mission because people weren’t honest with him.
For seventy years it has been no secret that at least 60% of all Survey Corps soldiers die on missions. Erwin point blank stated this when the 104th took to their ranks during his little joining speech. The dangers of fighting titans wasn’t something anyone tried to hide or keep tucked away in the hopes that soldiers would ignorantly join their ranks, and I doubt VERY highly that the dangers of the BIGGEST MISSION THE SURVEY CORPS HAD EVER PLANNED TO ATTEMPT was some massive smoke screen.
This dude knew his chances of survival were slim, and he also knew that his chances of having to sacrifice his life was very, very high. Especially since he originally refused to join to SC in the first place! Truthfully, this part right here just read off as someone who joined their ranks in the hopes of gaining some glory to me, and that made me salty.
I did agree highly with his last question though. They all have every right to know how much their sacrifice is worth. I had this feeling deep in my gut the first time I saw the female titan arc. No one knew the dangers they were actually being put in, save for the veteran soldiers in the legion. Granted, it’s entirely understandable as to why but, at the same time, hundreds were lost without knowing why. That was a sad, and unfair thought, and a move I didn’t entirely agree with. So, I can understand Flocke’s viewpoint here. However, as I stated above, IT WAS NO SECRET PEOPLE DIED ON MISSIONS.
Which leads me to the second and final reason his speech pissed me off:
That statement right there made me want to strangle this dude because he just outright undermined Levi to a severe degree. Not just Levi but, his bond with Erwin as well. As if Erwin wasn’t important to Levi too. Like Levi didn’t threaten to break this mans legs to try and keep him alive. Plus, he undermined how hard it was for Levi to ultimately make the choice he made. He shat on all of that in one sentence, and to make it worse, he called the choice an irrational one when he point blank states just one panel above this that he doesn’t know Armin well at all.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT’S AN IRRATIONAL CHOICE IF YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE PERSON YOU’RE BITCHING ABOUT?!
Ugh, anywayssssss, let me lower my salt intake here and get to the point.
I understand why people would question Armin’s survival over Erwin’s. I get it. Erwin was The Fucking MAN™
. He got shit done. Changed things in the walls for the better. He was the man with a plan and someone who sacrificed everything he had to learn the truth of the world. This leads me to why I think Levi ended up ultimately choosing Armin.
Let me start off with this panel here and then work my way up.
Some of Kenny’s parting words to Levi. These words played a massive factor in Levi’s final decision.
Erwin’s main goal, his dream, was to learn the truth of the world. He wanted to know what was beyond the walls and where the titans came from, and he wanted to learn all of this for the sake of his father. His goal was a worthy one and I am sad that he did not get to see it through but, his dream would have ended in Shiganshina one way or another. Whether he died, or whether he saw the basement; that was as far as his dream reached as far as Levi was aware at the time. [
Then we have Armin.
Armin’s dreams would start outside of the walls. They stretched far beyond one end goal and one thing to fight for, and his dreams were ones he wanted to share with close friends. Much like how Levi had a dream he wished to share with his close friends back in the day too. Armin wanted to see the world. To explore and learn everything their was to know about life and land outside of their walled prison. This was Armin’s reason for becoming a Scout.
So here we have two different people with different goals. Both of which Levi cares about and doesn’t want to see die. Both could help humanity. Both were brilliant and extremely intelligent. So, why Armin and not the seasoned commander?
Levi’s last words to Erwin are for him to let that dream go and to trust him to carry it out instead. I’m sure that Erwin was full aware that Levi had every intention of saving him if it was at all possible but, even knowing the risk towards his own life; Erwin accepted Levi’s order’s full on and with a relieved smile. Thankful to not have to burden himself under the guilt of wanting to abandon his post as Commander simply to learn the truth. For no longer having the chance to consider betraying all of those that were lost for a selfish goal.
In the end, Erwin was absolutely selfless. and rid of the desire plaguing his heart. He was at peace with the position he was in and chose to ride with his men into the fray. All because Levi took the burden of their lives onto his own shoulders - something he never does - and because he trusted Levi to succeed.
So, after this is said and done, we are left with Levi having to make a choice and duking it out with Eren and Mikasa on a rooftop for who will get the serum. Levi seems entirely hell bent on saving Erwin but, I believe what shook his firm resolve was this moment right here:
Ironic that Flocke is so quick to shit talk Levi’s choice when his comment right here is most likely one of the reasons Levi ended up choosing Armin.
Levi’s expression says a million different things in this one panel. The idea of reviving Erwin as a titan, to still lead and sacrifice people for a goal that Levi isn’t even sure exists at all breaks his determination. As far as he could see, Erwin just wanted to learn the truth. What Erwin would do after that was a mystery, even to Erwin himself. So, would it have been fair, after choosing to take his burden from him, to bring him back into the hell they scrounged in? All so he could continue to live as a “demon” even after achieving what he set out to accomplish?
Levi still seemed to think so to some degree. Though, his intensity on the subject wanes just a bit after Flocke’s comment here, and a lot more after what Eren had to say:
Eren speaks of the dreams Armin lives and fights for. The very same dreams Levi had overheard the young boy ranting and glowing about the night before. Armin had something left to fight for, Eren was sure of it. Levi was too because he saw it for himself.
Would Erwin have something left to live and fight for once he cleared his goal? Once he saw what was inside that basement and finally learned the truth?
Would he have something to be drunk on to keep him going?
Would he make Erwin remain a slave to his inner demons in the hopes that he could continue on torturing himself?
The answer was no. In the end, Levi chose to let Erwin have his peace. Just like Kenny chose to finally lay down his desires and trust them to Levi for the sake of peace with a smile, Erwin did exactly the same and thanked Levi for doing so. Instead of betraying that trust, and possibly breaking his friend in the process; Levi let the “Demon Commander” rest, and gave the boy with so many dreams left to live and fight for a chance at making his dreams a reality. Levi made his choice out of care, experience, and what knowledge he had. Just like he always does. At least that is my opinion on that matter.
Thank you for the ask, anon. I hope this answer is satisfactory for you. I apologize for the length and the lack of a Read More but, for whatever reason, that feature isn’t working on my laptop right now TT_TT
Turns out I have a shit ton of headcanons about Noah Czerny pre-death and since I’m avoiding responsibility right now I’m going to type a bunch of them out:
Noah was part of a badass group of skater kids who all owned fancy bright colored cars but preferred to skateboard to school.
Him and his five friends lived in a huge house seven minutes (ten by skateboard) away from Aglionby. There was a bowl pool outback that stayed empty throughout the entire summer and a terribly built halfpipe that you had to be careful not to skate over the missing board.
Pretty much all of them were the epitome of emo kids. Noah had the bleached blond hair that the Gangsey later wouldn’t understand wasn’t his natural color. The rest of his friends either had stark black long hair or spiky blond hair too- during the summer months, they would all dye their hair the bright crazy colors that didn’t meet Aglionby’s dress code requirements.
If you wanted weed, they were the resident go-to dealers. And with every weed purchase, one (1) free cd featuring their garage band’s music was included. Noah played drums. The band was called “Prep School Scandal” or something equally as corny and they constantly sang about hating their school/town even though they were a bunch of privileged kids.
They were constantly getting in trouble for skating the railings out front of Aglionby and had racked up enough detentions between them to cover an entire wall in their house with the slips. If it wasn’t for their parents’ money, they would have been kicked out a long time ago.
Lance being Allura’s son and the prince to the Pride Lands (please imagine African Prince!Lance and African Queen!Allura like hhhhhhhgggnn) and there’s that one point where Nala/Shiro says “they’re just like you when you were young) I mean for real little Allura would be a little spitfire just like a little Lance it would be so great
Keith and Lance meet as kids and Keith makes fun of Lance at first bc he can tell he’s a Pride Lander but when they have to work together to get out of some shit they realize “they’re a good team” :3
Lance: you were really brave :D
Keith: //////// y-yeah you were pretty brave too…
Pride Lander Lance is basically Altean!Lance and Outsider Keith is basically Galra!Keith so if you want to think of it that way be my guest
WHO WANTS HAGGAR AND ALLURA TO THROW FUCKING DOWN BC ONCE THEY NOTICE THEIR KIDS WITH EACH OTHER ITS THE PRIDE LANDERS VS THE OUTSIDERS AND ITS NOT PRETTY YO
Pidge: *looks at frightened Keith* pfff that’s not a king that’s a fuzzy maraca
They spend their years apart from each other and Keith gets trained to be a assassin and kill Allura and so when they meet Keith has to save Lance and at first he doesn’t recognize him but then he remembers his *wink* childhood friend *wink wink*
Allura doesn’t trust Keith AT ALL bc of the fact that he’s Scar’s/Zarkon’s descendant (Galra blood if you will) and while Allura keeps a very watchful eye out for him Lance can’t help but want to get to know Keith who quickly dismisses Lance for being a horrible hunter so Lance intends to prove himself
THE FUCKING “UPENDI” SCENE WITH KEITH AND LANCE GUYS PLEASE I WANT IT AAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Keith begins to fall in love with Lance and then realizes that he can’t go through with his plan to kill Allura but once Allura actually begins to trust him Haggar and the rest move in and make Keith look like a fucking liar oh my god
Allura banishes Keith all while a heartsick and heartbroken Lance pleas for Alllura to reconsider:
Allura: He used you to get to me
Lance: What?? No!! He loves me! For me!
Allura: Because you are my son.
Lance: You DONT KNOW HIM!
Allura: I know he’s following in Zarkon’s footprints, and I must follow in my father’s.
Lance: YOU WILL NEVER BE KING ALFOR !!!
can we take a moment to appreciate how beautiful “Love Will Find A Way” would be with Klance *screams for 6 years*
Keith says they should run away together but Lance reminds him that their places are with their people and if they don’t go back they’ll be divided forever
Pidge: I can’t believe we lost him again!! I thought you were gonna watch him????
Hunk: nO YOU were gonna watch him !!
Pidge: NO YOU WERE GONNA WA-
speak of the devil bc meanwhile the Outsiders/Galra and the Pride Landers/Alteans are throwing fucking hands and its Haggar vs Allura when KEITH AND LANCE JUMP INTO THE FIGHT AND HALT THAT MOTHERFUCKER
Keith: You will never hurt Lance. Or Allura. Not while I’m here.
Keith and Lance’s love opens everyone’s eyes except for Haggar who’s stubborn nature ends up getting herself killed….
Allura: Keith. I was wrong. You belong here.
DID I MENTION THEY WERE ALL LIONS I MEAN THAT FITS PRETTY DAMN WELL I mean to be honest you could imagine them as humans or as lions (this is the post that I was thinking about when it happened) I really dont care bUT I WANT IT *screams*
ahh your kang daniel au was so cute, i absolutely adore all of your university au's anxiwmxomw 😭 if you wouldn't mind, could you maybe do one for ong seongwoo as well? thank you so much, angel, have a great day!! 💖
like ten people asked for ong,,,so here’s his mini college au~~ find kang daniel (here) ^^
major: interior design
sports: did football team with daniel for like a week,,,,dropped it and picked up swimming instead LOL
when people first meet him they all think he’s a serious like physics major who wants to be an engineer or a doctor,,,,,like he’s handsome and smart,,,,straight from a webcomic kinda boy
bUT jokes on them he’s into interior design and likes looking at textiles and getting excited over his new ikea catalogue coming in the mail
actually despises the fact that you need to take college algebra for the major because like ugh maTH
tried to bribe daehwi into doing his homework for him but daehwi was like 50 bucks or i suddenly cant do simple addition and seongwoo was like im bROKE
and daehwi was like hmmm too bad ask daniel or something
is bestfriends and roommates with daniel which is really funny because one side of the room is covered in drawings and designs with messy canvas bags full of fabric samples and sketchbooks ,,,,,, while the other side is strung up with posters on medical safety procedures and daniels leaning tower of paramedic course books
but their friendship is super cute seongwoo keeps going like “bro if we’re both sad and alone at 40 lets just adopt a dog together or something-” and daniel is like “that sounds good but no dog. 12 cats.”
but again they’re both like heartthrobs on campus,,,,there’s a fanclub dedicated to gushing over seongwoo when he’s in the library studying just because everyone wants to see that handsome side profile tbh
little do they know that virtually every close friend of his has like 3943 photos of seongwoo doing the ugLIEST faces on snapchat and shit for the Memes
jisung and him are in an ongoing rivalry for who has the superior shocked face they have contests like every time they meet up LOL
you’re actually friends with seongwoo through a class you take together,,,that dreaded college algebra,,,, and one day seongwoo tells you that he likes to drum
which is ,,,,,,like a dream of yours,,,,,you’ve always wanted to learn how to play and you practically beG him to teach you
and seongwoo being seongwoo is like ,,,,,,,, give me the answers to this weeks homework and i will
and ur like FINE but ,,,,idk if the answers will be write and seongwoo shrugs like it doesn’t matter as long as i don’t need to look @ numbers,,,,im good
so you agree to meet up in the music department later like at 8 and when you get there thankfully the drum set for the college band is free
and you sit down eagerly,,,,trying to do a flip of the sticks before seongwoo takes them away and you’re like HEY and he’s like “first things first - cool drummers dont flip their sticks in the air like fools”
and ur like -____- fine whatever where do we start then
and for a couple of weeks you and seongwoo meet up in the evenings so he can teach you
and at first it’s super casual and fun,,,you guys talk about how much you hate college algebra,,,how you keep seeing minki’s face on flyers for student government elections,,,,,how the lights in all the dorms flicker for like a good three minutes before actually turning off
like the usual,,,and then one day you’re sitting,,,,trying out a technique seongwoo showed you but you keep skipping a part
so he comes over,,,,,putting his arms around you from behind and settling them on your wrists so e can guide your hands
and for the first time,,,,,you’re hyper aware of how,,,,,close seongwoo is
how he smells like fresh laundry,,,,how the vein running up his arm looks,,,,and when you make the mistake of turning your face to see him
,,,,,,you highlight the sharp curve of his jaw,,,his dark and alluring eyes,,,,the perfect slope of his nose,,,,and his neck,,,,,
the warmth of his body makes you suddenly freeze up and when seongwoo notices how tense your arm has gotten he lets go,,,,
and for a second neither of you say anything
seongwoo opens his mouth but you just shake your head before he can speak
and you’re like “no, i know. don’t say it,,,i know you,,,,aren’t interested,,,,and i made it awkward,,,,,im sorry- im going to go-”
and seongwoo seems like he wants to grab you before you can go but you escape his outstretched arm just in time to run out
seongwoo left standing in the room,,,,,,confused and hurt as you make your way toward the dorms telling yourself over and over
that you ruined it,,,,a good friendship,,,,,with the sudden realization that you didn’t want just friendship at all did you,,,,
and it’s not like you skip college algebra because of seongwoo noooo haha you totally got sick and had to not come
but,,,,,,you know sooner or later you’re going to have to see him but you really r e a l l y dont want too
unfortunately,,,, it comes even sooner because someone knocks on your dorm and you think it’s your roommate,,,but when you open it
seongwoo is there,,,,
and you’re like “w-what is it?” and he’s like looking down but when he meets your eyes he gives you that smile,,,,the one with the dimple and it makes your heart hurt but he waves the textbook he brought with him and he’s like “since you were sick,,,,i thought i should come and help you catch up?”
and you know seongwoo hates that class,,,that he’d never tutor someone else in it,,,,,let alone you so you want to shut the door and tell him you’re still sick
but seongwoo pulls a mask out of his pocket and is like ‘i can wear this so you don’t cough on me!!’ and you cant tell if he’s being silly or if he really just wants to talk to you
so you end up sitting beside each other on your bed and it’s,,,,,awkward until seongwoo finally takes a deep breath and turns to you
“you said you knew i wasn’t interested,,,,,but how could you say that?”
you kind of frown and you’re like,,,because we ,,,,,are just friends? you’ve never made any moves and you’re swarmed by people liking you all the time what is there-”
but seongwoo puts up his hand and is like “ok, but do i devote my time to those people? to teach them to play drums? to laugh with them in class? outside of class? do you know i blew of daniel for you,,,,,that’s a lot coming from me that dudes my soulmate”
and ur like ?????? wait so is it daniel or - and seongwoo is like nO like my bro soulmate but you,,,,,,it’s different i,,,,
he seems to suddenly get shy,,,,scratching at his cheek and you’re like ??? and he’s like “when i was,,,,,teaching you,,,with my hands on yours,,,,,,,i wanted to,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it’s hard to say this but i wanted to pull you closer,,,,,,,,god this is embarrassing,,,,,”
and you’ve never seen seongwoo blush until now and like,,,,,it’s so fREAKING cute that you just need to scoot closer
and seongwoo is like !
and you’re like “,,,,,i,,,,,wanted you to hold me closer too.”
with a small smile he turns his body toward you,,,opening his arms and he’s like “well,,,,i can still do that. come here.”
and you can’t believe it but you and seongwoo fall back onto your bed,,,,you in his arms laughing at how silly this is
and seongwoo leans down,,,,brushing your hair from your face and he’s about to kiss you when the doorknob turns and you’re like mY ROOMMATE
and you throw him a bit and soengwoo ends up on the floor,,,hair a mess and eyes wide and you’re like sitting on the bed and ur roommate is just like oh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ill come back in twenty bye
and with that you and seongwoo let out a sigh but he climbs back up on the bed and starts tickling you because oW thrOWING HIM OFF WAS thaT NECESSARY
dating college!seongwoo: he totally misplaces everything like he cant even find his own notebook so you’d probably have to be the one to be like seongwoo no no your laptop is under the desk drawer and your sketch book is on the shelf no no not the bottom shelf babe listen to me-, he looks extra fluffy in the mornings when he’s still got his hair uncombed and his eyes are sleepy but he’s also super soft because his voice gets lower and he just wants to cuddle, like seriously seongwoo just always wants to cuddle and hold hands, you could both be sweltering out in the sun on the quad and no matter how sweaty your palms get he’ll be like no we need to hold onto each other i need everyone to know you’re with me, pretends to not know that he’s being sexy when he’s laying down and his shirt is pulled up a little and he keeps pocking his tongue out to run across his lips and ur like seongwoo dont do that i need to study and he’s like do what~ and ur like oh my god,,,,,sends you random close ups of parts of his face and is like am i handsome~ do u still love me~, is a lil jealous that you and daniel get along so well but also is really happy because whenever you guys hangout together it’s a blast, does the occasional corny thing like buys you a big teddy bear that he names after himself or does a dance to try get you to give him extra kisses but it’s all worth it because he’s adorable, wants matching sweaters soooo bad and keeps dropping hints, likes when you sit in his lap and he plays with your hair while you read outloud to him, whenever you’re a little upset or scared he sings gently against your ear and it calms you down, when you can you take baths together and he keeps trying to get you to make him a bubble beard LOL