Art class is Stressing Me Out when it shouldn’t. Its fucking ART half the class always ditches. But the teacher kinda nudged me into a big group project to paint a mural with some other girls that Dont Want Me There and im so out of the loop like???? Idk wtf is goin on in that group? I didnt even wanna be in it in the first place. Plus the teach kept shuttin down my attempts to figure out an end of the year project i can do ON MY OWN and ugh
okay. im posting this on here so i can hold myself accountable.
basically i finished uni a few weeks back and i just haven’t been getting as much stuff done as i want to during the day. what i should be doing is working on the novel im writing, mainly, and seeking out employment for when i go home. ive been getting distracted a lot, and tumblr/fandom has been one of my main distractions. i considered taking a few weeks off tumblr altogether, but decided i didn’t want to do that because i do enjoy talking to/posting fic for you guys.
basically my solution is this: im going to stay off tumblr until around 6pm, giving myself what would be considered the “working day” to work on my own writing projects and job stuff, then i don’t have to spend my evenings worrying about things. i’ll work on fic in the evenings, so i dont get distracted by it when im trying to work on my own stuff. i really need to be making the most of the huge amount of free time i have rn, and this seems like the best way.
what im trying to do is treat writing less like a hobby and more like a career choice that im actively pursuing, because that is what it is for me in the long run.
ok ok, i know basically everyone has this as one of their favorite videos. but for me, this is one of my favorite videos to look back on, because it was the first BIG community project i was a part of.
i remember recognizing a couple of people in mark’s video (the guy with the mustache crying at one point was actually in the kik group i was in for the project. i dont remember him too much, but i do remember him having his own gaming channel, so i hope he’s still doing well with it.)
i remember getting excited/cringing at the 3.8 (i timed it) seconds my face appeared in the full video saying “buh-bye” to mark. and while i wasn’t in the actual reaction video, the fact that mark didn’t want to miss saying goodbye to anyone really meant a lot to me <3.
but most of all, i remember watching the trailer for the milestone video and seeing MY art among a whole bunch of talented people’s art. looking back at my art, it’s really really bad lol. (shield your eyes)
and like, it’s really crummy, but it was the very first time i was drawing mark, and i remember working SO SO HARD on it, trying to get the shading and the lineart right and everything. and i remember HOW PROUD i was when i saw this crummy thing in mark’s video
and like, because i got back into art, i still continued practicing. heck, im even working on a new drawing rn. and i’d like to think that i improved at least a bit since then (i still cant draw mark or dogs for the life of me tho lol)
two years since that video, tbh my life’s gotten to be a big ol mess that im still sorting out (curse you engineering). but despite that, mark and my love of art help me stay going. and im really thankful for that. <3
Theres something thats been bugging me and I really just want to get it off my chest a little.
There was a post going around that was re blogged by some mutuals and I didnt want to jump start my own opinions onto that post because honestly theres nothing wrong with liking the post and I dont want to tie anyone into a convo they’d rather not be in. The post in question was talking about a scenario of someone looking up to animation and being inspired..watching ghibli movies , creating their own characters..working hard to learn animation and - oh guess what they now animate on talking crude talking food movies. Thats so unfortunate.
The post could be meant as a just a joke but if it was sincere its one of the things that really bugs me sometimes about how people view this industry. this COMMERCIAL industry. This industry where guess what the projects are what you make of it , and the projects may not be something that inspires you but you may get some great experience out of it and some amazing people to learn from. There are lots of projects I’ve worked on personally that have been bashed , been called cash grabs , have been forgotten , and honestly as an animator i’ve always learned something and moved forward by it. Not every thing i’ve worked on has been something that I -personally- would watch but that doesnt mean it wasnt a good experience.
Am i saying there arent any people on this movie going ‘ oh man..wtf happened with my career path ‘ well no but .. you could say that for ANYTHING. You could have people saying that for television shows or for movies that arent as blockbuster hits. To me its the same argument of ‘ oh man you’re drawing fanart ? what are you doing with your skills ‘ . I know a lot of people who do art and animation thats personally not to my tastes , but that doesnt mean they cant love what they do. Not everyone has to be inspired by ghibli movies or glen keane….some people can like crude humor and have a blast.
Now im not saying people cant think the movie is dumb , but what im saying is dont weep over any possible wasted potential - because what does is it sums up potential by someones job and thats the one thing I always want to drive home about the animation industry. YOU.ARE.NOT.YOUR.JOB . Dont weigh someones worth or potential or artistic skills purely by the job that they have - you have no idea what they do in their off time. Not every project i’ve been on inspires me ..but thats ok , because its my job. I tell everyone to save some energy for themselves for their own projects , their own art , for this reason - to REMAIN inspired and create what they love from their own sources. That way it doesnt matter what you’re hired to do , wether its a pre-school show , a television show with crazy tight deadines that doesnt allow you to do your best work , or a crude comedy about talking food , you’re still doing something in your spare time that keeps your original love alive. Projects that you can get crazy passionate about that are in your wheelhouse and line up with your tastes are few and far between so lets not make people feel like they’re wasting their potential and their dreams if they happen to be on something thats not, geeze.
And i mean personally I saw the trailer and I laughed at all the swearing because dammit animation is a medium not a genre and it can be used for whatever.
Since deciding, lets have a kid, I hate every self centered 20somethings opinion of having a child and marriage for that matter. I’ve recently had to lay the hammer down on a few “friends”, which I would probably consider as loose acquaintances.
My life is not ruined, my little human will enter this world and be part of my tribe, sorry that I dont want the same things as you.
I also dont want a McMansion, or new cars, or other debt traps. I dont enjoy your perceptions of a social life.
So fuck right off with projecting your own insecurities and fears on to me. Its cool you dont want a kid, do you. But dont think for one damn water skipping jesus second that I will let you talk trash about my situation.