i dont want anyone to see me eat

[ FANACC ] 170211 #EXOrDIUMinHongKong

Suho : Hmm , Today is out first concert in 2017 right ?? The members and I was so so so so excited for the concert we were damcing crazily with all our energy.. I AM REALLY HAPPY TODAY 🎉

Pcy : It feels like a entire year without seeing our EXOLS .. and EXORDIUM .. i feel really happy , i wish EXO could see our EXOLS more , not only in concerts , always . Today was a great day !! Those that are coming tommorow , we promise we will work harder !!

Kyung : Thank you Hong Kong Fans 💕 , did you guys have fun today ?? If you did , awsome !! I am always in a goof mood in concerts because i have you guys 😊, today is a great day yea .. isnt it chinese valentines day ?? Is anyone hungry ?? Because i am really hungry .. everyone needs to go home and eat yummy food like me after the concert i eat yummy yummy food .. hmm ? You guys dont want to go home ? .. Why not we eat together tonight ?

Kara ✌

imagine skyhold but with more of everything

- a bigger kitchen

- a big dining room somewhere off of the main hall or next to the kitchen, that has about 24 chairs occupied with a cycle of random npcs or people you can get quests/war table missions off of (as opposed to tables in the main hall that i assume would need to be moved, like, once a week when a big crowd comes in)

- more merchants/some sort of market??? there’s a few stands by the stables but imagine about 6 more stands in a circle (even just for realism, they don’t need to actually have things to buy/sell)\

-an option to travel to the campsite at the bottom of the valley

- more rooms. more rooms with beds and bunk beds - there are so many people in skyhold whose beds we dont see. do they stumble down that steep cliff at night when they go to bed down in the valley? probably not

- a prison without…. a gaping hole in it… ???

- obvious guest bedrooms!!! really nice big rooms!!!

- !!! more garden space !!! 

- bigger stables!!! theres currently a total of one (1) horse in skyhold!!!

kaylayeomans said: Can you do an imagine where me and had get into a heated Argument and it comes out in pregnant. You can pick his reaction:)

sorry for the mistakes. hope you like it!

You and Jax were fighting so much these past 3 months and thats hurt a lot, you know how jax is and how he can catch every pussy he wants and you being so far of him and it makes you freaking out thinking about he eating another bitch, so finally this ‘’wrong’’ night he doesnt stayed at club house and you was kinda drunk so you started 

- what a surprise, dont have any pussy to eat this night?

jax sighed loud and this gets you more angry.

- what??? you dont wanna tell me?

- no, y/n, i didnt fuck with anyone stop this shit. 

- and why you spend all night on the club house?

- to thinking without you screaming in my ear! - he raised his voice.

- i scream because looks like you never hear me! you dont talk with me anymore, why??? i dont look hot enough to you anymore? 

- jesus, y/n, shut the hell up, you being ridiculous, i love you and you perfect to me but its happening so much thing on the club and i dont want to fight with you anymore

- but ignoring me and doesnt see me anymore makes you feel right?

- no! but i dont want to make you more upset.

- im already upset, im getting drunk on a thursday night bc you nake me sad and im fucking pregnant! - you scream and started cry. jax looks confuse as fuck but he get close to you and hold you hands and you start to cry even more

- y/n, are serious? jesus, im so sorry for dont be here for you… im so fucked in this fucking club that i forget about my only family and its you and now we gonna have another member and i just make you feel sad, im so sorry…

- i know, just want to you stay with me, dont eat another pussy and dont love anyone but me, please. im freaking out.

- i would never do this to you, y/n, and you are just pregnant - he wiped your tears and smile, you cant hide your smile when you see his smile so he kiss you passionately;

A morbid description of how obese people with diabeetus suffer silently and the psychological damage they inflict to people around them.

One of the things i have rarely seen posted on tumblr about obesity is the effects of diabetes and im stumped how fat people dont even care about it and dont even know the consequences. I lived my early years of my life in a very poor country where fast food is cheap and most people survive on fast food. Most of the people are highly diabetic and overweight. Most of the food they eat is fried stuff and the biggest favorite of all: soda! In the US, i dont see anyone talking much about diabetes, they put it out there but they rarely mention how it is capable of destroying your body. I want to try and avoid posting a story but i will post a typical event from my country that I witnessed and still happens and try to relate it in a non-story way as much as possible, please forgive me if it looks more like a story.

I was 8 years old, young and dumb and i remember the 210kg dude in a wheelchair living on the ground floor below us. He had a wife and 2 young kids but all he would eat is fast food and deep fried shit. He was a wife beater and his wife was kind of forced to obey his fat ass commands. The dude got diabetic apparently a few years ago and he was on a wheelchair all the time, and for some reason, he was missing a left leg (down from his left knee to his toes were missing) and his other leg was extremely bruised and bleeding, looked like a road accident fresh from 1 hour ago. I asked his kids one day and they said that he was a pirate. Dumb enough at 8 to believe that, i thought he worked on a ship and got into an accident. Sometimes at night we would hear him scream his lungs out, cursing and being very loud from their house. At that point my parents had ordered the three of us not to go out and not to look out of the window. Funny thing, the neighbours would tell their kids the same thing. We wanted to look out but we didnt, as we were scared by that guy screaming.

In those moments, i remember a very distinct smell of death that went through the walls and ceiling. It smelled as something much worse than a dead raccoon, something so strong it left a cold feeling on your spine. The adults in the neighbourhood would go and visit that house and sometimes stay there for hours. The next morning our parents would tell us nothing. It was a complete mystery what was going on and as the months flew by, i assumed he was just sick or an alcoholic and was a wife beater. I never really understood what was going on until one day i was walking down the street to join my friends to play soccer, i noticed the dude sitting on a bench in an almost isolated spot in the sun and his wife and 2 kids were kind of shielding him from being seen. I couldnt see much but i did notice one of his kids holding a small bucket below his missing leg and a yellow stick was sticking out of his knee of the left leg. I immediately knew that was no pirate leg-stick, it was his fucking bone coming out of his knee and it was yellowish green in color, had oozing liquids coming out and his bone looked like powder was falling off from it into the bucket. The skin was black and yellow, bleeding and some weird looking burst open sores leaking plasma-like liquid. The other leg was maybe worse, didnt have a missing calf but the shape of the leg was deformed, as if something had been chewing at it for days. It had a huge black and yellow open flesh wound that stretched from the knee down to the ball of the foot. His right foot had shrunk down and looked grey with lot of grey dead skin all over it. I dont even think maggots would be able to live in that. The wife was applying some powder and cleaning the sores. When i saw his leg bone (that front bone on your lower leg that hurts when its struck) it seemed like it was splitting and could be seen from the wounds. At the same time, i got a whiff of that same smell of death and quickly understood where that smell came from all this time.

The guy was crying, clearly in pain and his kids and wife looked mortified. I didnt know what to do, i panicked for a second and headed back home trying to understand what i saw. My mom was at home that day and i told her what i saw and asked her questions. She looked disappointed and told me to ask my dad when he gets home. When my dad got home, i demanded the truth. He told me that fat dude was diabetic due to too much sugar in his food and soda that the thick blood somehow caused an artery damage that wasnt feeding blood to his left foot. That was a year ago and the foot started rotting and necrotizing tissue started to consume his foot. He went to the hospital but they were reluctant to do an amputation as they said his blood sugar was so high that there was a risk of the wounds from the amputation to necrotize as well, the only way is for him to start controlling his diet, lose weight and reduce sugar levels so that amputation could be done. But the fucker didnt, he went full retard on the sugar that later on his right foot started rotting even more and the gangrene started to spread even more on the other leg. Nobody really knows what happened to his foot and how it got cut off but the neighbours speculated that he was so angry about it that he cut it off himself with the help of his wife and kids.

Fast-forward a week later, we could hear him scream out loud again, except this time he was smashing things around and his kids were crying in terror. Even from a wheelchair we could hear him cursing the wife and hitting her with something. It became intolerable so our parents once again went down and luckily the door was unlocked. I remember my dad saying he has never seen so much blood and pus lying around and the horrible death smell made him gag a few times and once they restrained the guy, we called the ambulance. My dad and another neighbour went with him in the ambulance and apparently they found out that the necrosis has started to spread to his lower abdomen THROUGH HIS FUCKING THIGHS and could start attacking organs. His bone on his left leg was apparently powder, his kneecap was a powder like substance and they had to intervene immediately. 1 week later he was discharged from the hospital but had his whole left thigh amputated. Doctors mentioned to his wife that it had to be done to stop the spreading of gangrene but at the same time, his blood sugar was very high that there was a 95% chance the wound from the amputation would never heal and become gangrenous and would spread all over his body. Even my dad’s voice trembled as he was saying it, the whole neighbourhood had suffered a trauma from that incident.

Just a week later, we heard the yelling again but this time he was more violent and started throwing things out of the windows and smashing everything. He was in a lot of pain, his voice cracked as he was yelling. Once again, the adults in the neighbourhood were ready to go help again, but this time they saw the dude’s wife scram out of the door and she had a bloodied face and her kids were crying. She put them in their car and took off. We called the police and the ambulance, when they came they strapped him up. As they were loading him on the ambulance, he died on the spot. After the sudden calm, we all got out, all we saw was a dead body with a bloodied and oozing leg on a stretcher.

Today when we hear the word diabetes, we take it for granted that its bad. But when i hear it, it brings back this unforgettable trauma and is the reason i avoid sugar. That incident has left a scar on the neighbourhood, and in our minds. We heard about the wife and kids later on. The wife went into depression and died of some unknown disease. The kids were adopted by another family and we never heard from them again.

anonymous asked:

Hey I don't want to be rude but you attract weird followers like you draw a comic of your OC eating a child? And most people's response is "oh my beautiful fucked up boy uwu"

i dont think anyones said that concerning greyson and esp that comic?… most people upon seeing that comic were horrified and expressed that towards me. theres people that enjoyed his character, or the comic itself, but for the most part no ones, esp since that comic, has been like “my beautiful fucked up boy uwu” unless they arent doing it on my posts.


PART 7 of Out of Bounds!!!!
I finally finished it. Sorry for it being so short. I tried to remember everything I wrote yesterday but it was hard /: hope you all enjoy!!


“Daneel, take JJ and go back home. I’m going to the hospital with y/n.” I yelled as I started my way to my car.
I didn’t look back. The only thing I could think of was y/n and the baby. Hoping they would be alright.

I felt my stomach tighten and my eyes began to water. If anything were to happen to them, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Especially since I’m the main cause for this.


“22 year old female was in a head on collision. She has 3 fractured ribs and a broken leg. Also bleeding internally.” The nurse yelled. My eyes began to flutter open. And pain shot through me, instantly.
“W-what happened? W-where am I?” I exhaled. It was hard for me to breathe and the lights were hurting my eyes.
“Ma'am. Stay with us. You were in a car accident.” The doctor spoke as he continued examining me. My head was pounding and there was a sharp pain in my chest. What was happening.

“We need to get her to an OR stat!” The doctor yelled.
I looked up following the lights. Wishing I couldn’t feel anything.


“Hi im looking for Y/F/N Y/L/N room.” i exhaled as tried to control my breathing.
“I’m sorry sir, shes in surgery right now. please sit in the waiting room. The doctor will let you and everyone else know when you can go in to see her.” she smiled. I balled my fist and clenched my jaw. I needed to see her. I needed to know she was fine. Her and the baby.
I walked to the waiting room. James, her father, was sitting with his hand over his eyes.
“H-Hi James.” I whispered. his eyes shot up toward me and smirked.
“Oh hi Jensen.” he gestured for me to sit next to him. We sat in silence, waiting for the doctor to give us any information. Guilt crashed into me and i began to over think. What if she doesnt make it? What if something happened to the baby. I couldnt handle it. My stomach tightened and the room felt like it was closing in. Tears began to stream down my face. I just hope shes ok.
“She told me everything.” James muttered. My heart dropped. What did he mean everything? Does he know about the baby? About my affair? I felt dizzy.
“She loves you Jensen. And i know you love her.” he inhaled and removed his hand from his face. “I see the way you look at her.”
“W-what?” i finally spoke.
“But you’re still married Jensen. You need to remember that. You should have left her alone.” my head dropped and i began to sob.
“I know. But how can you watch the love of your life walk away?” i quivered.
“How can you do this to the person you love? how can you watch them suffer?” James shifted in his chair and turned his body toward me.
“I dont have a problem with you Jensen. I like you as a person. But what you’re doing with Daneel and my daughter isnt Healthy for anyone. You need to either end things with Daneel or leave my daughter alone.”
“Mr. (Y/L/N).” The doctor said as he walked toward both of us. He looked exhausted but relieved.
“Y-yes. Is she ok? Can we see her?” James asked.
“We were able to stop the bleeding and she pulled through. Her brain though, isnt responding. She is in a coma.” the doctor explained as he placed a hand on James shoulder.
“And the Baby?” i blurted out.
The doctor looked at me with furrowed brows. “And you are?”
“I’m the baby’s father.” Those words slipped out. But it felt nice to say. Havent been able to say it out loud until now. I still want y/n and the baby. I still want our own family.
the Doctor stiffened and cleared his throat. “The baby is doing just fine. But we will be checking up on the baby as a precaution.”
“When do we get to see her?” James demanded.
“You can go in now if you like.” The doctor smiled at us both before leaving. James grabbed his jacket and made his way toward her room. I followed.


She looked peaceful, but her face was covered in cuts and bruises. She was connected to different machines, the beeping from the heart monitor was echoing the room. It pained me to see her that way.

“Hey baby. its Your dad.” James began to sob. He pulled a chair to her side and reached for her hand. “Please dont stop fighting baby.” he whispered. my heart ached and my eyes welled with tears.
“I came as soon as i found out. How she doing?” A young girl walked in wearing a grey jacket and black skinny jeans. Her brown hair fell in different directions and her makeup was smeared.
“She isn’t responding.” James stated. The girl turned to me and frowned.
“Hi Jensen. Im Lexi.” she said and turned back to James.
My stomach was in knots. Y/n was in a coma. I couldnt bear it anymore. the tears began to over power my eyes. None of this was suppose to happen. Maybe her father was right. Maybe i should just leave her alone. Let her go. As much as it would kill me to leave her, i know i have to.
I cleared my throat and wiped my tears away. “I’m so sorry. For all of this”
I glanced over at Y/n once more before leaving.
I turned on my heels and walked out of the room. Why did it have to hurt so much?


“You ok?” Jared asked as he handed me a beer.
“I’m fine.” I took a sip and returned my gaze to JJ. She was playing with Tom and Shep. Her eyes were full of joy and happiness. God I wish life could be simple again.
“Jensen, its been a week. And you havent moved from this spot.” he breathed. He was right. I wasnt ok. After leaving Y/n room, I just havent been myself. I was numb. I had forced myself to not feel. If i didnt, then the guilt would eat me up alive.
“Have you heard anything about, you know?” Jared said, interrupting my thoughts.
“No. I haven’t. I don’t know anything.” Those words stung. I took another sip.
“Dude. Look, this isnt healthy. You arent eating, You dont talk to me or anyone for that matter. Youre wasting away.” Jared shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. “I think you should go see her. She loves you man. She told me herself.”

My head shot back to him and my eyes widened. “When did you two meet” i demanded.
“The day You and Daneel were fighting. I went out there. She told me she isnt sorry for being in love with you. I already told you dude. I just want you to be happy, and clearly she makes you Happy. Go see her.”
The pain began to vibrate through me.
“And then what? Put her through more hell? I can’t keep doing this to her Jared. She deserves so much more.”
“Don’t beat yourself up man. She loves you.”
“But is it enough?”
“That’s up to you. But you won’t know unless you try.”
Jared was right though. This wasn’t healthy. I needed y/n. I needed to see her. “Look jensen, she needs you more than ever right now. I know you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if anything were to happen.”

“Thanks man. I owe you.” I chugged the rest of my beer and grabbed my coat.
“Yeah you do.” Jared laughed. “I’m here for you man.”

I smiled and kissed JJ on her forehead. “See you soon baby girl.”


There she was. She was sleeping alone. And god she looked so beautiful. I would do anything just to lay next to her. My eyes wandered around her room. There were cards and flowers surrounding her, along with pictures of her and friends. She looked so happy in them.

“Jensen!” James yelled. He walked toward me with a cup of coffee in his hands.
“Hi.” I said. He wrapped his arms around me and smiled.
“How is she doing?” I asked hoping for good news.
James sighed and frowned.
“She’s fine. She woke up last night. But she doesn’t remember anything from the accident.”
“But she’s ok?” I asked.
James smiled and nodded.


I walked in as tears began to stream down my face.
“Hi beautiful.” I whispered as I reached for her hand. Her eyes fluttered open. I missed looking at her, I missed the way she would gaze at me and smile.

Her smile turned into a frown and she pulled away from me.
“W-who are you?!” She demanded. She began to scream and call for help.
My breath escaped and my chest tightened.
She doesn’t remember me?!



inspired by this

Back to the Past (part 2)

description: You and Ashton always got into a fight until one night he did something to you that triggered your past.



Your POV

After about an hour of driving, I had to find a place to stay. I was going to call one of the boys but I figured Ashton would try to find me; I put my phone on silent to avoid his calls. I needed to hide from him. Never would I think that I would be scared of Ashton.

It was now 10pm and I still haven’t found somewhere to stay, As I was driving I saw a Western Hotel. “I guess this will do.” I sighed.  I walked into the hotel and head towards the receptionist desk. “Um hi, I would like a hotel room.” I said trying not to break down in front of her. “okay, can I have a name.” she said in a monotone voice. “It’s y/n  y/l/n.” She gave me a room key that said room 7A.

As I opened the door, I fell to the bed and starting crying as the memory of the fight kept repeating in my head like an old record player. “why did this happened!” I screamed as I threw a pillow across the room.

Ashton POV

I have been trying to reach y/n for an hour now and she hasn’t picked up any of my calls or texts. “FUCK!” I yelled as punched a hole threw the wall. I cant believe I’m this stupid! I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I decided to call one of the boys to see if they seen y/n. I dialed Luke’s number.

“Hello?” Luke asked he sounded like he was sleeping. “Hey have you seen y/n lately.” I said as I bit my lip. “uhhh no why what happened is she okay?” he rambled. “yea we kinda got into a fight and she ran off.” I half whispered while rubbing the back of my neck.

Luke stood up off his bed. “What the hell happened Ashton, y/n wouldn’t  just run off like that.” he said in a serious tone. “Um yea, I kind of-um.” I didn’t want to say it, I feel guilty every time I think about. “Just fucking say it mate.” he yelled. “OKAY! I slapped her, but I didn’t mean it I swear I-I don’t know what-” I started to ramble as I paced back and forth in the living room.

“God Ashton your so fucking stupid no wonder why she left.” Luke said. “Shut up! Just please, I have to find her.” I started to cry again. “Okay, okay I’ll call her to see where she is.” Luke sighed. “And one more thing, don’t except her to come running back to you.” Luke said in a harsh tone before he hung up. “Shit.” I thought. “Why did this happen.”

Your POV

Three days later…

Ever since the incident, I haven’t eaten anything or even left my hotel room. I was scared that I would run into Ashton or the fans, but I had to go out to get some food. I got out of bed, took a shower, and fixed myself a bit so I didn’t look like a hot mess. Before I left I decided to look at my phone for the first time in three days.

47 missed calls from Ash

32 texts from Ash

28 missed calls from Lukey

10 texts from Mikey

8 texts from Cal

I sighed as I put my phone in my back pocket and grabbed my room key. As I left the hotel, I started walking to find a restaurant or a store. I got distracted by how beautiful the city was, the building stood tall and the environment was calm.

“y/n?” a familiar voice asked. It was Luke. I didn’t want him to see him let alone anyone so I walked away quickly. “wait! Dont leave!” Luke yelled. He chased after me until I decided to stop. “No point of running he’s not going to stop.” I thought.

“Hi Luke…” I whispered as I looked down at my feet. “Hey, Ashton and the boys-” Luke said but I stopped him. “Please don’t talk about him I don’t want to see him.” I said. “Oh okay sorry. What are you doing here?” he asked. “Um nothing. Just looking for someplace to eat.” I said avoiding his face. I just wanted to leave this conversation. “There’s a restaurant two blocks from here c'mon.” He offered. I looked up to see his face. “What? No that’s okay.” I sheepishly said. “No, no we are going to lunch together.” He said. I didn’t have a choice. I guess I could go to lunch with him.

When Luke and I took our seat in the restaurant, we sat there awkwardly while I was looking at the menu. “Um I know this isn’t none of my business but why did you run away?” Luke asked. “He slapped me and he had no right to. I-I had to hide I didn’t want this to happen again.” I half whispered. “Again? Ashton hit you before?” he said. “No…just something happened in the past.” I said as my voice cracked. “What happened before?” he said as he held my hand on the table. “I-I dont want to talk about, I’ve never told anyone before.” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. Luke wiped my tear away saying that it’s okay.

After lunch, Luke walked me back to the hotel building I was staying at. “Thanks for taking me to lunch.” I said. I looked at how blue his eyes were and how cheesy he smiled at me. “No problem princess, text me if you want to hang out again.” he said. I hugged him and he kissed me on my forehead. “Well I have to go, were working on some songs in the studio.” Luke said. As he started walking off I had to tell him something. “Wait, Luke.” I yelled. “Yes princess?” he said with a smirk on his face. “Can you not tell Ashton where I am or that we hanged out.” I nervously said. “Yea of course, I wouldn’t want him getting mad at me.” he winked at me before he headed out.

Ashton POV

I was at the studio, waiting for Luke to come by so we could work on our song. “Where the hell is Luke, he’s never late.” Michael said getting pissed off. “I don’t know but he will show.” Calum said as he was on his phone. I decided to sit on the couch and text y/n for the twentieth time today.

y/n I’m so sorry please pick up I’m miserable without you.

God I miss her more than anything, I haven’t slept since she left. All I could think about is how bad I hurt her. I tried finding her but she is nowhere to be seen. I decided to scroll through Twitter to take my mind off her. After a few minutes of scrolling I found pictures of Luke and y/n together in some restaurant and another picture of them hugging while Luke kissed the top of her head. I felt my blood boiling, I couldn’t believe would hang out with her and not tell me! That’s why he is late.

After five minutes Luke arrived. “It’s about time!” Michael yelled. “Yea sorry I was doing something.” Luke nervously said. I couldn’t believe he just lied! “YOU HANGED OUT WITH Y/N YOU JERK!” I blurted out. Michael and Calum looked at Luke then me. “What? how did you know.” he said “There’s pictures of you guys hanging out! God Luke I have been looking for her for days and you just find her and you guys hang out!” I yelled as I pushed Luke.

“Chill out mate, I just took her to lunch and besides she said she doesn’t want to see you, you scared her.” Luke said angrily. “IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” I yelled as I punched Luke. He stepped back as Calum and Michael try to hold me back. I pushed off Calum and Michael’s grip as I repeatedly kept throwing punches at Luke. “YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR Y/N FOR DAYS AND YOUR TELLING ME HOW SHE FEELS, YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING.” I yelled. “Fuck off mate!” Luke said. Michael pushed me off Luke. “No wonder why she left you, you always get angry before you let people expl-” Luke’s sentence got cut off when his phone rang, It was y/n. “Let me talk to her.” I said in a harsh tone. “Fuck off. I already told you she doesn’t want to see you.” Luke said. “At least put her on speaker phone I need to hear her voice.” I desperately said. Luke sighed as he answered the phone on speaker phone.

Luke  POV

“Hello Luke?” y/n said she sounded scared. “Yes princess whats wrong?” I asked in a worry tone. I looked at Ashton, he looked sad and worried. “Luke I’m scared, I had a nightmare about my past…can you please come over.” she said as she was crying. “Yea I will be there soon hold tight. See you soon princess.” I hung up the phone and grabbed my jacket. “Wait I need to talk to her please.” He desperately said.“I think you have done enough. You don’t deserve to see her.” I said in a harsh tone. “Calum, Michael. Make sure Ashton doesn’t follow me there.” They both nodded before I left.

As I got in the car I wondered “What happened to y/n in the past?”

Wow, the SU fandom is so great!

I get to go into the Pewey tag and get all love and support by countless tagged ship hate with people telling me to eat shit!

I see gemsonas being shut down because their gem is now canon in the show!

White cosplayers who cosplay Garnet, Lars, Connie and more get so much support with reblogs and comments like “dont cosplay poc people if youre white! i cant believe you are so trashy”

And skinny cosplayers get anon hate when they cosplay Rose, Amethyst, Sadie and more! Its good to tell how you feel :)

I love the most that even the Crew + Rebecca tell that youre able to ship what you want, and that they dont want anyone to be unhappy within the fandom. Even though it happens anyways :):):)

Flirt ||Sammy Wilk||

This was requested by skatemaloley! Hope you like it! Want to read more of my shit? Masterlist 

     Sammy what should I wear?” I asked Sammy one of my favorite people in the whole world I could trust him with anything and everything and I loved him for that he stayed down. “Y/N babe were only going over to Nates house, I dont think it matter what you wear. Plus your fine it what your in now.” He said looking at my outfit which was just his Nebraska hoodie and a pair of volley ball shorts. “Are you sure? I think I look homeless in this.” I said looking at myself in my mirror by my closet.

     Sammy got up and wrapped his arm around my wait and wrapped his arms around me we were looking at ourselves in the mirror since he was hugging me from behind. “I dont think you look homeless, I think that you want to look like a fucking super model all the time and you looking like an average individual is hard for you.” Sammy observed looking at me “Well I cant agree with you anymore.” I said to him but I was mainly trying to convince my self that. 

     Sammy planted a kiss on my neck and unwrapped his arms from around my waist and grabbed his phone and his car keys “Do you want to go with me? We can just blow it and grab something to eat and watch netflix?” He suggested, his last offer was tantalizing but I wanted to chill with Nate and the Jacks I hadent seen them since they came back from tour I had only seen Sammy. “No come on I havent seen anyone since you guys came back from tour I want to go see them.” I said falshing Sammy a convincing smile even though I wasnt all to convinced myself. 

     Dont get me wrong I wanted to go chill with everyone but alone time with Sammy was priceless and it seemed to be fewer and fewer times that we got to be alone. I didnt say anything to Sammy because I wasnt his girlfriend I was just his best friend that he occasionally had sex with but that was when he was high and I was wasted usually after parties. Jack G had told me that Sammy liked me alot only a year ago but I didnt want to say anything and apparently neither did he, so I just went with the flow and pushed my feelings for sammy to the side because I didnt want to ruin what we had going.

     But I pushed all my thoughts aside I couldnt think about Sammy for the rest of my life I was going to chill with the boys and I couldnt be more excited. Nates house was within walking distance from my own so Sammy and I just walked to his house instead of driving, “I think you look nice in that outfit Y/N.” Sammy said to me grabbing my hand “Yeah whatever I still think I look homeless in it.” I said to Sammy, but he was intent in thinking I looked good in it so I just went with it.

     I walked right into Nates house and my ears were assaulted by the sound of all the boys screaming “What the fuck?” I said to myself I walked into the living room and I saw all the boys playing Fifa “Johnson you fuck face get over here!” Jack yelled to Johnson “Hey boys what did we miss?” I asked and all the boys heads shot over to where I was standing.

     The Jacks were the first to stand up and come over to me “Shit Y/N I didnt know that us going on tour would make you so hot.” Jack said to me his jaw practicly hanging open “So are you saying I wasnt hot before you guys left?” I asked him “No no no dont get me wrong youve always been pretty but now you just damn.” Jack said to me, I started to blush a little but it wore away quick thank God. “Yeah Y/N I have to agree with Jack, you do look pretty fucking hot now, Sam’s lucky he gets to hit that sometimes.” Johnson said with a smirk that I wanted to slap right off of his fucking face. “Well thank you boys, I didnt know that the fact that I got prettier while you were gone was such a big thing.” I said to them.

     “Yeah, they’re right Y/N you did get incredible hot while we were gone.” I heard Nate say “Oh my fucking God, can we stop you guys are making it sound like I was an ugly ogar before yall left.” I told them all rolling my eyes “No no Y/N youve always been hot but now your just damn.” Jack said again his eyes focused on my chest. I felt Sammy grab my waist “Come on guys, your making her feel bad.” He said through gritted teeth, I looked at him he was glaring at all the boys.

     The boys put up their hands up and walked away back to the couch and resumed playing Fifa. I walked into the kitchen Sammy was following me, I turned around and he looked pissed off. “Sammy are you alright?” I asked him I reached out to touch his arm but he ripped his arm away. “Really Y/N? I cant believe you let the boys talk to you like that!” He said to me “Are you serious Sammy, I cant control what the boys say and you know that!” I said back to him trying to keep my voice down “I know baby and I know that but I just, your mine Y/N and I dont want other guys you know like all over you. And the only way I can prevent that from happening is if you and I are together like for real not just fucking randomly like being in a relationship.” Sammy said to me biting his lip. 

     "Like you want to go out, like be a couple?“ I asked him kind of shocked "Yeah something like that.” He said nervously like I was going to say no “Okay” Was all I could say before Sammy cupped my face with his hands and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was gentle at first then it got more intense and heated “Ohh look at the two love birds gettin it on in the kitchen!” Johnson said laughing a little at the end Sammy and I broke apart “Yeah losers look whos mine now and what yall dont have.” Sammy said smiling proudly “Come on Y/N lets go to your house.” Sammy said grabbing my hand and walking out of Nates house for the first time as my boyfriend. 

Day one of no eating..i WILL only eat 500 calories every other day. i will NOT drink anything besides water. this time next year i WILL be under 120 pounds. don’t like it? i don’t care. Im posting a picture of myself for the world to see..think I’m fat? SAY IT! please say it…its only going to make me stronger and have more will! i DONT want anyone telling me i look fine…have something positive to say about the way i am now? DONT! 

Holy fuck.

Ok so in English we are studying advertising and today as a class out professor put pictures up of ads and we talked as a class about the elements and content and whatever.

We went through about 10 pictures and 5 of them were PETA ads. Don’t get me wrong I hate Petas advertising methods as much as the next reasonable vegan/vegetarian, but one said something like “kids: if you wouldnt eat your dog, why eat a turkey?” Which is a reasonable argument. Well everyone busted out laughing and was making fun of the whole message and everything because “it’s just a turkey and dogs are our pets!”

People have fucking turkeys as pets. Turkeys scream when they’re killed like a dog would. Turkeys hurt like a dog would getting their throats slit. Turkeys want to live like dogs do.


Our professor pulls up an ad showing a pig slicing itself in half with a knife while standing on slices of ham. And people go on about how the ad is not effective because “it’s morbid” and “no one wants to see that”


And then after they thoroughly mocked vegan and vegetarianism some girl asks if anyone in the room doesn’t eat meat. I stayed silent because I was scared they were going to laugh at me. I hate the fact that I was ashamed. Im so mad at everyone and myself right now.