i dont think this is really healthy

im about 50 pages into hammer of thor, and already the words heteronormative, transgender, and gender fluid have been used, in correct context, and in fact in reference to a specific character, who is shaping up to have a major role, with a direct statement from the protagonist himself that being trans is not unusual or new to him, and hints that said gender fluid character could be said protag’s love interest, in this book, written by a popular mainstream YA author, published by disney, and honestly when have we ever been so blessed

  • yes im tiny, yes im sparkly, and yes i have a squeaky voice, so can you fuck right off and stop calling me cute
  • im a fairy, not a pixie, dont even call me that those guys are assholes
  • my fairy dust allows you to fly, but its only for a while and you constantly come back asking for another fix, what am i man, your drugdealer?
  • im your gardener to this exotic wilderness behind your house and you constantly ask how i manage to keep them all so healthy and i always say its ‘love’ but really its my bloom magic
  • people think im really badass cause i got this wingspan tattoo on my back but its just my real wings, im such a fraud i know i know
  • i accidentally walked into some weird ingrown tree house and stumbled upon a very serious looking fairy meeting, jesus fuck guys your magic looks more satanic than witches
  • fairies are really connected to the moon apparently so whenever theres a new moon you freak out and panic so bad because you think it’s gone forever and aw sweetie its gonna be okay
  • additionally, fairies are also very good friends with werewolves thanks to this fact, so dont be confused when you see a swarm of fairies riding a giant dog on a full moon
  • AND, fairy x werewolf for adorable innocence and curiosity about everything they come across together
  • i was running away from my friend and accidentally bumped into you and you crashed into the wall and diSAPPEARED IN FRONT OF ME JESUS FU—oh wait you just turned back into your tiny fairy form, okay—DONT DO THAT TO ME
  • listen, i understand you and animals are very connected and they are attracted to you, but you cant have a deer and five squirrels living with us, please put the rabbit down—no, the birds have to go too, please babe—pl—
  • say what you want but fairies party hard as shit, how the hell do they manage to drink a whole keg with their tiny little bodies omfg

I know some people are still upset about the ending of yoi season 1 and how Viktor basically refused to marry Yuuri because he *only* won silver, but i think another important undertone of this is that Viktor refused to be satisfied so that he could encourage Yuuri. “I wont give you what you want unless you keep going” basically. Which i think is so much more important like “i love you and i need you but more important than indulging myself in that is urging you on towards your goals, we know we’re in love whether there is a label or not, what is important most of all is that you dont let this less-than-perfection end your career”. Which is a big message for someone with anxiety, you have so much telling you just to quit and avoid more disappointment but Viktor is finding the only thing that can motivate Yuuri and using it; their love. I think that this anime is really important on so many levels but especially with the healthiness of the relationship and this has got to be another example; it’s not important that they go crazy in love and throw caution to the wind out of some romantic ideal, it’s important that they’re supporting each other through the lives they want to build.

anonymous asked:

look I don't want this to come off wrong but everyone in MCR is getting old and I'm actually a little teary-eyed rn because we're seeing the start of them getting old and deteriorating and like. it's inevitable and something I never wanna see but at the same time I'm so so so happy that they're happy and healthy and /able/ to grow old but it makes me so sad that they won't be young forever and they're not. they don't look anything like they did just two years ago. ugh I'm really crying I'm sorry

lmao ‘getting old and deteriorating’ no i know where youre coming from its just the wording makes me laugh

tbh i think all of them look really good and yes theyre getting older bc we all are bc time and all that but i dont think they look that old? Gerard is turning 40 soon he still doesnt look his age altho yes he started aging after looking like hes still in his 20s for basically the last 10 years. but now he still looks like hes maybe around 30 so as someone who just turned 30 he still looks young to me. its probably different for someone who is younger (also imagine if he actually got a haircut and dyed his hair again and dressed a lil bit different) but yknow he doesnt have to maintain his rockstar looks for us tbh. idk i just saw him last month and he didnt look ‘old’ to me at all. honestly i see where youre coming from but i think after being in a band for that long and having fans and everyone else expect you to look a certain way, he just doesnt care that much anymore. he has different priorities now, and im glad. also theres this shift in the ‘fanbase’ where it really shows who only cared about Gerard bc he’s ‘hot’ and who truly cares about him as an artist and a person and for someone like me thats a bonus bc i can avoid the ppl who are annoying about it yknow lol

its not all about the looks and i know you know that but just a reminder

anonymous asked:

SO my boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot lately but I really don't want to break up but there seems like no other choice and I dont think I can just give up. what should I do??

Here is the truth about dating, marriage, and really anything that requires a partnership of some kind… people in partnerships fight.

This is only natural as it would be impossible to be in 100% agreement about everything and even if it seems so, something could happen that will disrupt your relationship. What matters is not the argument itself but how we argue. There is a healthy way to have a disagreement with your partner(s) or love interest(s) and I’ll be glad to summarize what helps me with my own. Also below I added a very important but brief disclaimer on identifying psychological abuse. Please be sure to read it also…

1. Don’t Run From A Fight: You might say to yourself that you’re a “Non-confrontational” person, but if something your partner is doing is bothering you, or a big scary question has been left unanswered it won’t do you any good to shy away and keep it to yourself. This will only snowball into a bigger and uglier fight down the road and you don’t need that kind of drama. “When are we going to get married?” “Why don’t you like my mother?” “What if I get pregnant? Will you stay and help me?” - These are only a few examples but as you can possibly imagine, if left unanswered they can lead to bigger fights. These big questions, when left unanswered can also make small and seemingly insignificant arguments become these enormous problems. Not only that, but they’ll seem more frequent. So, when a big question that needs answering pops up, resolve it ASAP. Don’t let it fester.

2. Don’t Play The Escalation Game: Not sure what I mean? Perhaps you’ve seen when some couples fight, suddenly one starts name-calling, then the other throws back an ugly word at them, then someone grabs the nearest object and throws it at or near the other one, and then all hell breaks loose… Happy couples don’t have these knock-down dragged-out fights. These playground bullying tactics are beneath them and they should be beneath you and your partner. You have to resist name calling, dismissive eye-roll, and (forbid it) possibly physically hurting your partner no matter how heated things get. If they are that intense, suggest that you both take a breather and cool down because clearly, no one can think straight when they are raging.

3. Set Ground Rules and Take it Slow: The point of an argument is to be able to express your grievance and find a resolution that satisfies everyone. This isn’t the courtroom and we’re not seeking justice, we’re looking for compromise. Start by expressing your own feelings and observations. Here are a few examples that I use.

  • “I feel like I’m not appreciated because…”
  • “I want you to know that I’m unhappy because…”
  • “Can we talk about ____? It’s been bothering me lately.”

Take it slow and take turns and when it is their turn, give them your full and undivided attention. A ground rule I follow is that if there is an important matter I need to talk about with my partner all distractions are paused or turned off. That means the TV, the Radio, the Computer, the Phone… All of it will be put aside and we talk eye-to-eye. You might find you need to tailor your own ground rules with your partner based on each other’s needs. Like, if we’re in the car and an argument happens we agree to shelve it until we’re home or we can safely pull over and talk it out. Another one could be to signal each other when we’re done expressing our grievances. Really, this depends on what you both find to be reasonable.

4. Give Your Partner Space To Work With: You might feel justified with your anger or your partner might feel that way with you… However, if you or they are breathing down their necks and assuming the worst when something happens then they are being unfair. Partners who want to stay together will find a way to make things work. They will want to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship and will find solutions that satisfy each other. They will compromise and they will work to keep their promises to one another. So you give your partner the benefit of the doubt they too want the same things as you.

5. Keep To Your Principles No Matter What: There are areas we are willing to compromise and there are others where we won’t. For example, I would never date someone who uses hard drugs or is unwilling to tell me right away if they are in other relationships. You too must have certain hard lines that you can’t and won’t tolerate being crossed and those barriers must be expressed openly and early in the relationship. If they haven’t, you must do it soon. This sets up the framework of future arguments if these principles are ever crossed. Because, if a person you trust enough to have a partnership with does violate those boundaries, then they must be made aware it is a serious grievance and they had been forewarned. Expect that your partner too will express their principles and that respecting each other’s boundaries going forward will be a healthier way to live then only “guessing” what the other person thinks is okay or not okay.

DISCLAIMER: Arguments happen with healthy couples but you shouldn’t tolerate tactics of abuse. Not all abuse is physical, the vast majority is psychological and it can affect men and women equally. Pay attention to these warning signs…

  • Has made threats of harming you, a friend or family member, your pets or your children
  • Tell you how you’re worthless without them
  • Isolated you from friends and family
  • Constantly monitoring your movements and whereabouts: Including who you try to speak with and what topics you cover
  • Constantly criticizing you and blaming you when things go wrong
  • Demands you to apologize for things you have no control over or for when they get angry at you
  • Denies you access to money, transportation, and/or communication
  • Deliberately tries to humiliate you or demean you in public or private
  • Flatout lies about conversations or actions he/she has done in the past

If you experience any combination of these, speak up against them and make it a point to have an exit strategy if they are unwilling to face their actions. If you have had arguments in the past about any of these things above and they still repeat their behavior, then get out while you can! You do not have to put up with this kind of behavior, ever.

So anon, my answer is this… If your boyfriend is being abusive, don’t engage… Get out. If he isn’t being abusive, engage and talk to him. Get him to understand if he wants to keep this relationship going forward he needs to talk to you like a reasonable adult and if he can not then it’s best that you seperated. I wish you luck Anon.

anonymous asked:

i dont think the cis people around me can get it through their thick heads that i CANT exercise , a) i need to wear my binder, theres no other option, b) if i move too much in my binder i can feel my chest and it starts smoshin together, which, death

I would agree that exercising in your binder is dangerous and advise against it, but it really means that you can’t go exercise at a gym or go for a run outside. I personally prefer to do strength and cardio in my room by myself in order to stay healthy. Maintaining a healthy weight and being as fit as you can be will help with your transition immensely. From helping to pass to being fit and healthy enough for HRT and surgery, should that be in your future. 


So idk how to exactly ask this but do other ADHD people experience a sort of hyper fixation/interest on a certain type of food for a period of time.

Like I get really weird cravings for certain foods and could literally eat just that for like weeks on end and then suddenly be done with it?

For example, towards the end of summer I literally would almost inhale a 6 pack of jello snack cups in a day or two. But after 2-3 weeks of that i was very meh about jello.

I also have this with non sugary/starchy foods as well so I dont think it has to do with my cycle (I get super intense starch/salt/sugar cravings right before my period which is healthy and normal)

anonymous asked:

hey bean!!! first off i love ur blog and u seem like an awesome person!! anyway i was wondering if u exercise/diet at all? or are u just naturally thin? thanks so much luv u!!

im just naturally slimmer. I really dont exercise that much but i think i eat pretty healthy. Not on a schedule or diet or anything though

anonymous asked:

1/3 okkkkayyy. unpopular opinion here but... am i the only one that really dislikes the nesta x cassian thing? i enjoy reading cassian individually, however as a couple and/or just nesta.... i dont like it. i also don't think it's necessarily "healthy", if that makes sense. i mean the way they seem now, they'll constantly be bickering, hating/loving each other simultaneously, and when they DO fight for real, imagine how HEATED that would get. now im not talking sexy heated

2/3 like they’ll grab each other and kiss, but im talking about… lets say they argue.  arguing consists of YELLING and INSULTING (generally speaking) and yet they do that all the time ?? so for them, when they’re angry…. imagine how much worse/how volatile it could get ?? like if nesta says something rude, cassian thinks “BITCH” in the side story, yet imagine if they were fighting and…. yeah, HEATED. id be afraid nesta would throw something at him/hit him to be HEARD because she might feel

3/3 intimidated by how big/muscular/strong he is. but… uhm, that’s abuse. regardless of if its a dude or a chick who hits somebody…. its abuse. and like i said before, they {would} bicker a shit ton. like… insulting each other regularly? verbal abuse, possibly. and no, im not throwing the word “abuse” freely. cause THAT IS WHAT IT IS. u cant disregard a FACT just because “oh that ship is just sooo SEXY. and has sooo much potential!!!😍😍” idk it just seems unhealthy for both parties involv

Hello! I feel like I am maybe not the best person to answer this, but I’ll try. Apologies if it gets incoherent or seems rambling and weird!

Your initial question - are you the only person who dislikes Nessian. The answer is no. There are definitely people who aren’t into Nessian. I used to be one of them! I’ve put a lot of effort into understanding Nesta more since summer and have really come around to the ship because of my studies (for lack of a better word), but there are still certainly people who don’t ship Nessian… or Moriel! Or Elucien! This fandom has all sorts of ships going on right now and whatever you decide to ship is a-okay, so don’t feel weird if you end up in the minority on a ship opinion. It happens all the time and it’s okay. Ship and let ship! :)

The later half of your question is trickier. I understand where you could see the potential for a ship like Nessian to become unhealthy and problematic. They certainly have a heated way of dealing with each other that is both physical and mental/emotional. However, I don’t think there is anything in the text right now that implies that either of them would become abusive or unhealthy.

Cassian, for his part, is incredibly mature and responsible and we see in the bonus chapter just by how he reacts to Nesta’s almost rape that he would never harm a woman. That fact alone coupled with how ardently he fights to give the female Illyrians equal rights in the war camps tells me that Cassian would never hurt a woman even if his life depended on it. Quite the opposite, actually. I think he’d go to the ends of the earth to avoid it. This is the man who pukes his guts up after slaughtering his enemies. He has a gift for fighting, but I don’t think that means he enjoys the violence or relishes hurting people. He has a big heart and I think at the end of the day, Cass would give up his gifts for fighting if it meant everyone could be happy and safe and loved.

Nesta I think it a lot more vulnerable than you may give her credit for? Certainly she lashes out and is harsh. That’s an integral part of her character. But she is human and she is certainly not cruel as I know I initially pegged her for. I think the portions of the bonus chapter from her POV show that she struggles a lot with being vulnerable and that her aim is to push people away, not to hurt them to give her some kind of control or power like an abuser would seek. This vulnerability is a huge challenge for her, but if she were to truly fall in love with Cassian, I think a lot of the harshness would soften in her. She would still be her good ole prickly self and trade jabs with him for sure, but when you’re in love, you’re a lot less inclined to deal out serious injuries (verbal or physical) towards your SO, especially ones that would lead to something unhealthy and abusive as you’re suggesting. And I just don’t personally even out of love with Cass that Nesta’s sharpness is anything lending to abuse to begin with. She loves and she loves deeply, it’s just hard to see.

So overall, I just don’t think either of them are motivated to lash out for abusive reasons - to gain power over the other and diminish them. I think they’re both just trying to figure out how they might fit together (and for Nesta, how she fits in the world period), so they sting with words to put space between them, but not to begin a vicious cycle of abuse or to be unhealthy. And the more they grow to understand and love one another, the more I think that the stings will become the sexy kind of fighting that we all enjoy reading as opposed to something dangerous or volatile.

I also think it’s important to note that all couples fight. There is always yelling and insults are traded. It’s not nice and it’s not good, but just because it happens doesn’t mean that couple has landed in an abusive relationship. Feyre threw a shoe at Rhys and outright hated him in the beginning, but that didn’t make their relationship abusive. I could see something similar for Nessian happening. There will be times that they fight and the words exchanged will be real and meant to wound - not the sexy hot stuff - but not because they want to forever harm or abuse. It’s just a part of working through what being together means. Again, it’s just my view that the more you love someone truly, the less likely you’ll be to want to hurt them on an abusive level even if you’re in the middle of a really intense fight.

If it ever did go too far, well then yeah, obviously it’s not meant to work out and I wouldn’t support it. I just don’t personally think that’s the direction it’s going nor do I believe SJM is going to go there. If you’re still feeling frustrated or concerned, and you’re asking because you’re trying to find reasons to enjoy Nessian more, I’d say maybe go back and reread their bits with a Nesta/Nessian lens on and try to understand where they each are coming from in their choices and words? If you’re still not feeling it after that, remember what I said in the first paragraph: it’s okay! You can ship whomever you like or not ship it and the world will keep on turning.

I hope this helps! I always feel weird answering these kind of more serious asks, so I hope this made sense?? If anyone has more to add, feel free! I know there are several of you out there who are much more eloquent at abuse and/or Nessian meta than I!


anonymous asked:

I loved him the moment I saw him which I know sounds cliche then when we started talking he told me that he loved me even without talking to me. Things were great between us ! He cared for me to the point where he'd pull an all nighter just to hear me complain. Then, one day he decided to start acting cold towards me and and it sucked 4 years later we dont talk and he got married and divorced and I had him blocked but I love him with all of my heart ! Sometimes love can be the ugliest thing.

Ahhh man sometimes love never leaves completely even after years go by. I’m sorry you went and are still going through this. I hate how common these kinda situations are too, love really can be ugly af :\ I don’t think love stops at one person though and I hope you find the person u can share a long lasting and healthy relationship with, one which puts your past loves in a shadow never to be sad about again 🌹 love u

anonymous asked:

So since you said it yourself at the beginning, im gonna be honest with you. You're right. I didnt like the ending to undo at all, in fact im a little bit disappointed. I was really rooting for JK and Y/N,and especially because of how the story was going up till part 3 it all lead me to thinking that it will end up with jk and y/n. Now i may be sensitive but i really dont like plottwists like that. I start a fic based on the summary or the pairing (who its centered on). I'll just reread pt 3

i knew a message like this would come, but as stated in part four if the reader and jk had ended up together it really wouldn’t be healthy at all. He cheated with her and he might have cheated again and through all parts you could see how it was affecting the reader when she was helping him. Could u imagine the reader if she had stuck with him? It wasn’t healthy for her so that’s why it ended the way it did, you can read all the parts again up to part three if you wish but at the end of the day I am happy with the way I ended it because it is realistic and healthy!

[ ;; ] today i watched two movies, did a heck of a lot for beachbody, killed it with my workout, and ate healthy food.

now i need to shower and I might get back on!!! tbh i’m kinda in a really good place and lately there’s been a lot of negativity around the dash (i think the holidays just get everyone down which really I don’t blame you I wasn’t so fun to talk to this weekend either lol) so if there is a lot of negativity i’ll probs skedadle to work on photoshop things. I made a cute af thing for my coach business today that I shared with a new friend and that felt really rewarding too!!!

honestly guys knowing that I don’t have cancer after the last month of being scared I did is just…really nice. It’s helped my mood immensely. that and working out every day. I literally feel lighter than air when I do.


anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts? My biggest fear was falling in love with the person who completes me, but I didn't complete him. It happened and now I don't know how to keep going.

This is a tough one. My perception is really skewed because in my last relationship i thought that i was so good for my significant other, in terms of compatibility, support, sex and overall relationshippy stuff, yet i was still mistreated and taken advantage of. We had a second go of us and i was too negatively impacted from the first time around i became hyper sensitive to behavior, and too paranoid that someone could change so quickly and it eventually didnt work out. so “completing someone” isnt necessarily waht i think makes a good, healthy relationship. I hoenstly dont think there is someone that is going to 100% be perfect for me. but i may be wrong. 

Ultimately, and please take in mind this is just in my opinion, that to me, if someone “completes you”, yet you dont “complete them”, do they really complete you? 

knifestick ha respondido a tu publicación: not every pic of roadhog and junkrat is your nasty…

isn’t junkrat old enough to make an informed decision about the ages of his partners

apparently a 25 yo man should listen to paternalistic stuff…

like, i get it, age gaps make some ppl uncomfy. im not fond of them either. age gaps, i mean

i like the ship bc i think they really do like each other (jesus, they’re almost canon) and bc they work well together and have a generally healthy relationship (as healthy as someone in that specific situation can be)

i get the discomfort. i dont get the anon hate. that’s my main issue… im sorry i lashed out like that

honestly? there was a period in my life where i consumed really nasty content and thought that it was healthy and even hot and thats really not ok i was 13? 14? and it fucked me up real bad!! i ended up actively endangering myself. i was one of the lucky ones but it still messed with and continues to mess w my head and so the moral if the story is dont !! create!!! po.rn !!!!!!!!! of minors, related charecters, or abu.sers & victims!!!!!!! that shit fucked me up!!!! its kind of entangled itself into my personal trauma abd taken root there and i dont think that its justified even as a “coping mechanism ” to do something in public that could get a child hurt . do not try that shit, not in my home

K so I’m on episode seven of Yuri on ice I think and they just kissed and.

I’m sorry?? I’m so glad an lgbtqiap positive anime like this exists…but… I DONT…SHIP…IT???

like, it’s okay. It’s healthy and wonderful and I’m happy for them but there’s none of this “asdfghjkl” business I’ve been seeing everywhere. I just, kinda feel like they really had very little actual character building/bonding beyond “omg my idol who I probably jerked it to in my teens” and “oooh this dude humped me while drunk at a banquet” (yes I spoiled myself don’t judge)

It’s good. It’s fine. But DAMN IT. I don’t get the hype over Victuuri