i dont really know what to tag this crap anymore so i just

My Mate (Part 21)

Title: My Mate

 Summary: Did you know angels need mates?  Yea, like angelic married…mates.  And sometimes, this heat-like phase takes over where they have to mate, like their biological clock starts ticking.  Well, that is what has happened, and that is how Lucifer wound up in the bunker, his grace fading as he calls out for a mate.  Luckily, the Winchesters are friends with a hunter who is willing to help out.  

 Warnings: Language.

***Let me know if you want added to a character/story or forever tag list! :D

My Mate Master Post

Masterlist of Fanfiction  

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual

Chapter 21 

Dean got you to lay down, and he sat with you until you were more relaxed.  He hoped you would sleep, granted, it’s not like he did much after his run in with a Djinn, but he was hoping anyways.  He gave your arm a pat as he got up and made his way outside.  Things needed to change, he could see that now.  He kept his mouth shut most of the time, hoping everything would blow over, but if this hunt showed them anything, it was that it wasn’t going to just blow over, it was going to blow up.  So Dean set out to finally put an end to it…

He got over to the Impala and heard Lucifer and Sam bickering.  He didn’t know about what, and frankly, he didn’t give a rat’s ass. The only thing he cared about right now was Riley.  The Djinn created that dream from something.  He knew how Lucifer felt about Riley and vice versa, it was time they each stopped acting like kids and talked.  And as for him and Sam being in the dream…he knew it wasn’t all Sam’s fault, Dean had made his position on Lucifer clear…but that was about to change.

“Enough!” Dean screamed as he got close to them. “Seriously?  Riley is in there almost in a damn catatonic state and you two are out here bickerin’ like two little bitches.  Do either of you even give a shit about what happened?  How it happened?”

“Of course I do!” Sam countered quickly.  

Lucifer just gave Dean a hard look.  The angel didn’t need to say anything, Dean knew how he felt.  

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I feel like a teacher giving a lecture about a dangerous animal…

He has a two day warning that his heat is going to drop. He’ll start giving off a lot of heat, like you can’t stand near him unless you want to lose your eyebrows kinda heat. He’ll also start drooling really bad. It’s his body producing too much magic, and having nowhere for it to go. After two days his horns will start coming in, and he’ll start growing. The first week you’ll be fine, he’ll be relatively normal, just a lot hornier (heh) than usual. He can take care of himself, but he doesn’t mind the help. He might accidentally hurt you though. He doesn’t mean to, but he’s not used to the bigger stronger body.

Second week he wants attention constantly and he gets more aggressive if you don’t give it to him. Purposely knocking things out of your hand so you’ll pay attention to him. Pinning you and growling until you give yourself to him. If you’re not in the mood, just continue what you were doing before he pinned you and he’ll wander off to fix it himself. Try to avoid drawing blood around him if you can. He can smell it if you’re within a mile radius of him and he will take you where you are. Like he will hustle his ass to your location. Fucker has no chill. He’ll probably try to bite you. Don’t let him bite you, he’ll probably take half your shoulder with him if he does. As it get closer to the third week he might not accept you ignoring him. So scold him and he should back off. It’s best to be careful when fucking him the closer it gets to week three. He will be far more aggressive, his touch will be hard and will bruise the crap outta you. His magic will sputter every now and again. It’ll send a wave out and knock anything in the room away from him. By the end of week two his horns should be fully in and he’ll start losing the ability to speak properly. At this point it’s best to get him to Alphys before it rolls into week three.

Week three he is literally just a mindless fuck beast. He just wants to mate 24/7 until he passes out. He should be around nine feet tall, the horns add another foot and a half. Making him ten and a half feet tall. His jaw will be stuck open, as his teeth are too big to properly close his mouth. So he basically speaks in growls and grunts. Not that he’s really intelligent enough to speak coherently anyways. He’s just aware enough to know you’re his partner, and that you’re the one he can bone. If he gets his hands on you, you have a large chance of dying. He has almost no restraint and will probably gut you on accident. (not that it’s any different than normal, but he just won’t respond to the safe word during his heat) He’ll probably split you in half with how big he is, and he will not be gentle what so ever. Alphys knows how to keep him calm and will make sure he can take care of himself so he won’t hunt your ass down. Alphys lives just far enough away that Sans can’t smell you and track you.

When week four comes by, Sans is calm enough to come home. He’ll be sluggish since most of his magic will be depleted. He still wants to fuck though, but it’ll be soft and gentle. He’ll be a clingy mess, and whine until you get home. He just wants to be close to you and he wants cuddles. As it nears the end of week four his horns will crack and fall off. He’ll will also end up much shorter after everything is said and done, due to the loss of magic. It’ll take a week or two before his magic levels are stable enough for him to be normal height.

Tl;dr First week he’s normal, second week he’s a little more aggressive, third week you should just take him to Alphys, and fourth week he’s just a cuddly mess all the time.

So, ah yeah. If anyone has anymore questions I’m always open to answer them. Sorry if I didn’t answer everything. I really tried, I’m just terrible at writing and world building…

Guys, I really need to get this off my chest.  First of all, Bamon fans , i love you all, but if you're a steroline fan, please don't read this.

 I come here tonight because I just need to vent a little about some things in this show, things that honestly make no sense to me First of all, before i get into that. Why must so many people post about Steroline in the Bamon Tag. I hate Stefan and Caroline as a romantic pairing.  I dont wanna see it. I love them, as friends, as my BROTP and the reason why i don’t ship them is quite simple. Caroline has had more love interests than anyone.. I am tired of her being the character that has to always be with someone, or have a connection with someone. Stefan and Caroline, in my opinion, should remain as friends. Part of me feels the writers are doing everything in their power to amp them up, just to make Delena more believable.   Every chance the writers get they downplay Stelena, like it was a passing crush, a summer affair, and when they do that, they make Both stefan and Elena move further from eachother. I can’t help it, that I am a Stelena fan, and a Bamon fan. But I cant see Caroline with Stefan, I just can’t. In my eyes, Liz had to die for Steroline and Delena to happen. How messed up is that? The writers kill off Carolines mom, so Elena can realize how short life is ( even they are vampires and dont die easily.) and use cares moms as a crutch to get back with Damon. And stefan was so clear he saw Caroline as only a friend and all of a sudden, the mom gets sick and he does a 180 and loves her? It doesn’t make sense, but i digress. 

    Now to the Bamon, no ship has ever been so worked up, so foreshadowed, so evident in any show I have ever seen. It is clear that Bonnie and Damon are both in love with each other,  it has been clear for such a long time now,  every episode we see the emotional tether they have to each other. They are connected in ways that they have never connected to another person. We’ve seen Bonnie get her magic back to save him, we’ve seen her come back after endless fights, we’ve seen Damon stepping up to defend her, choosing her over everyone, telling Elena to her face that Bonnie was the reason he was doing everything. There is friendship and there is friendship that is so precious it borders the line to something more, Bamon are there now. They are on the precipice of something amazing. and every episode we get hints, signs, that Bamon is happening soon.  it;s little things the writers add in. Like we are supposed to sit and believe that Bamon watched the bodyguard, watched a endless, INTERRACIAL love story and no sexy thoughts went through their heads?  Then they made a death pact , they vowed to die together, like some tragic romeo and juliet shit . We were baited with hope for Bamon and we still are , and every time i think we get one up there comes another “EPIC” Delena kiss. I can’t even stomach it anymore. Delena , in every episode has to have that one kiss with the slow , or fast ( depending on julieplagues mood ) epic love song playing, AFTER Elaine gives some speech about how they gotta be together. Like we get the point , Gilbert, we got it the last 1234 times you said that to Damon. And Elena, all she ever does is make everything about her. Damon was drinking cause he was sad his BEST FRIEND was about to kill herself and Eleanor is crying, wondering if she changed by being a vampire and crying over herself and Damon. Like give me a break. I never seen a more unlikable character in my life. Like  I dont know what makes me more angry, the fact that the writers have untapped potential in Bamon and ignore it for Dullena to be cannon, That the writers are constantly re-writing history to make it into that Elena and Stefan weren’t even that big a deal . uh hello ”  The vampire diaries is stefan and Elenas love story” kevin williamson said that. when it started, So even if it’s not their love story anymore. It sure as hell was. But of course, it’s always Damon , right . She NEVER found her way back to Stefan right? Bullfucking shit. Elexa is the biggest hypocrite ever written. Its at the point i dont hate the characters, i hate the writers for being so stupid and forcing a ship that obviously is dead, I always hated Delena, it always sucked, but now, the awkwardness from watching Ian and Nina act its too much to bare. it’s like they dont even wanna look at each other, they have zero chemistry anymore, and we can sense it. Just, let it go already, please . But i think what i hate the most is the shitfest Bonnie has been given and i can’t believe I am about to say this but i really fucking think she gets shited on cause shes a woman of color. her only love interest was Jerome ( who no one wants ), and then any other love interest she could have , was her own ethnicity.( jamie, Luka if thats his name?)  AND I NEVER WANTED TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD. but what is the reason for Bonnie not being with Damon. why is she always crapped on. It makes me mad, it makes me pissed. It hurts me and i hate that it hurts me. Elena and Caroline, they get multiple love interests, they get nice things, Bonnie gets not invited to balls, and shoved in a hole of 1994.  they separated Bamons so early. Judith is just a racist bitch .  Yes im sayng that. I hope she proves me wrong. I really do.  because Bamon HAS TO HAPPEN. give me one reason why every ship from the books happened excpet Bamon?  I wanna gag whenever i see Delena, i wanna put leggos on Julies bedroom floor so she hurts her feets. I am ranting so vividlty about this, it makes my skin crawl. 

ilarual  asked:

Lifetime for SoMa?

So along with being the request of ilarual, this is also for kittenintheden, who requested the same prompt.  Prooooobably not what you two were thinking, and there will be a part two.


Finding Sharkface:

Sometimes, Maka wondered what ever happened to Sharkface. That wasn’t really his name, of course, just what she’d called him when she was really mad at him, like she had been when he told her he was moving in a week. It was the summer before Jr. High, and he’d kissed her, and she’d punched him and run and never seen him again.

It still hurt, over a decade later.

They’d been best friends since preschool, inseparable. Sometimes they teased each other, annoyed each other, and lord knew they fought with each other, but deep down they had always, always loved each other. Maka would have told anyone who asked, then or now, that Soul was like the brother she had never wanted. Part of her knew that for the lie it was; that she still dreamed of that sweet childhood kiss, her first, told her it was probably something more, something she had thrown away before it ever had a chance, or maybe something life had destroyed. It made her heart ache to think of it, so she didn’t.

It was stupid. Soul was in her past, far in her past, a little boy lost. She had a life now, she had responsibilities, she didn’t have time to regret the silliness of her twelve year old self.

The night she looked him up on Facebook, Maka had been out drinking with Kim, Jackie, and Tsu, and had fended off no less than six horny idiots with beer goggles firmly in place. She was busy wondering how the hell she was going to manage to teach in the morning because she was that drunk which meant she would probably be that hungover as she stumbled into her apartment and opened up her laptop to double check her lesson plans. But her mind wandered, and she ended up on Facebook, and her mind wandered some more, and she wondered for the umpteenth time where he was and what he was doing because this was something she tended to do when she was drunk enough, and then she typed those two little words into the people search: Soul Evans.

Only one profile came up-who the hell named their kid Soul, anyway?-and of course it was him. His profile was public but sparse, just a snapshot and the occasional post about a performance. The white hair and red eyes of the man in the picture told her everything she needed to know, however, and damn it all if he wasn’t hot. The cute twelve year old had, unsurprisingly, grown into a smoking 22 year old; that wouldn’t be invading her dreams anytime soon, of course not.

Did he have a girlfriend? Fiance? Wife? Or-boyfriend even? Things can change a lot in a decade. Information on Soul’s page was limited-but it did say single. That was something. He was also practically scowling in the picture which hardly surprised her-he’d always been sullen, though she had always been able to draw out his rare smiles. Maka missed those smiles.

Holy hell, she was pining over a twelve year old ghost, a boy who had been replaced by the stranger in the picture. It was silly. Before she knew what she was doing, she clicked on the message button and the box popped up. Screw it. Here he was. Why not say hi? What was the worst that would happen-he wouldn’t remember her? He’d ignore her? He’d tell her to fuck off? She was a big girl; she could take it.

Hi Soul.

The name might throw you off-I use my Mom’s maiden last name on social media to be harder for my students to track-but this is Maka Albarn, not Maka Arakawa. I don’t really know if you remember me, but we used to be friends before you moved away from Death City. I was just wondering how you’re doing. Well, I hope!

I’d love to hear from you. It’s weird, and I hope you don’t find it creepy, but I really missed you when you left, and I still think about you. Okay, maybe that does sound creepy-it’s just, you really were my best friend.

Anyway-hope you’re having a nice life.



She pressed send before she could have second thoughts, and even still full of liquid courage, her stomach churned. That was probably stupid, right? Soul was far in her past-like her Mama and her pigtails and her ill advised Sailor Moon phase. It was probably better to let sleeping ghosts lie. Too late now.

He’d probably ignore her. At best, she wouldn’t hear back for hours or even days.


Maka blinked at her laptop. There was a new friend request on Facebook, along with a new message, both from someone named Soul Eater.

Who now? Could it be?

She clicked on the friend request, and a smirking image of Soul Evans stated back.

Soul Eater? What an utter dork. Figured.

She accepted the request and clicked on the message.

hey maka

course i remember u bookworm. i totally get using a fake name i do too. u messaged my professional profile, the one i keep to make the agent happy. this is the one i give to friends. r u still in death city?

Oh shit-oh shit-he remembered her and he’d messaged her back and he sounded-happy? Well, not unhappy, anyway. She should probably respond. But she was still drunk. Was it stupid to respond drunk? No more stupid than writing drunk.

Wow, Soul EATER? I’d ask, but I really don’t want to know. Yes I’m still in Death City. Where do you live now? Your other profile didn’t say.

She pressed send quickly, not wanting to second guess herself, trying to remind herself that whoever he had become, somewhere in there he was still Soul-had to be.


She didn’t hesitate to look at the new message.

betchu wanna know. might even find out one day if ur nice. I’m in LA now. kind of hate it, but if i want work i have to. stalked ur pics a bit. miss the pigtails. r u really a teacher? figures. if id had a teacher like u, i might have done better in english.

He was looking through her profile? Her stomach flipped as she clicked open Soul Eater’s profile. His profession was listed as Jazz Pianist, he did live in Los Angeles, he was still listed as single. There were a lot of pictures with a good looking black man, a few with two blonde girls. Her stomach clenched at that, until she saw another picture with the tall blonde and the same dark skinned man kissing next to an extremely flustered looking Soul. She noticed he smirked sometimes in the pictures, but he didn’t smile. He also didn’t post much-the pictures were mostly things he was tagged in by others, what posts there were mostly consisted of messages from others on his wall. She saw one from Wes about actually showing up for Christmas and smiled. Maybe some things never changed.

I’m really a teacher, yes. I’m glad you still play piano. I know you used to say you hated it, but you were always really good-and even if you hated how your parents acted, you loved music. Do you like being a jazz pianist? I’ll bet you’re really great! I’d love to hear you play!

As if she ever would now. Still, Maka pressed send. Her stomach was churning and she couldn’t tell if it was nerves or the alcohol, but with her mind feeling less foggy by the second, she suspected the former. Blair came up with a loud meow and she pet her absently, eyeing the message box, the churning in her stomach reaching nearly cataclysmic levels.


u were the only one i liked to play 4 back then. now i mostly just play for myself, but id love to play 4 u again. ive been thinking about coming back to dc for a long time but i wasnt sure. its only 5 hours. i really missed it.

Her heart was pounding in her chest. She had just found him and now he was talking about coming-here? About missing it here?

Hand shaking subtly, she typed a response.

I’d really like that. Everyone here really missed you. You could stay with me if you want-I have an extra room in my apartment.

She sent it, and it felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. Why had she offered that, to stay with her? He was a stranger. Except he wasn’t, how could he be? Even now, so many years later, he still felt like her best friend. He always had, even when he was long gone.


won’t ur boyfriend get mad?

Maka frowned at the screen. What now? Oh-OH. Yeah, that.

I don’t have a boyfriend. I just put that to keep pervs away. Single girls get messaged by all the creeps.

The response was almost instantaneous.


thats good. but how do u know im not a perv?

Laughing, she typed a response quickly.

You were always a perv, but I know you know I can kick your ass, so I’m not worried.

It was strange how it felt just like ten years ago, yet nothing like ten years ago. It did funny things to her insides.


dont i fucking know it. took a week for the last black eye to heal. u had a mean right hook even at 12.

Her heart froze. That had been the worst day of her life.

I’m sorry about that. I was upset. You shouldn’t have done that.

She was sober now, stone cold sober, and the sick feeling in her stomach and in her chest made her skin crawl.

There was a long pause. Maka thought she might lose her dinner. Her hand on Blair’s fur became restless.


She hesitated to click the message, fear clawing at her soul. She was being ridiculous; it was just a message, and he was just a boy from her past.

The only boy from her past who had ever really mattered.

i know i was a fucking idiot. i didnt know what else to do. i was just a scared kid and about to lose. doesnt matter. im sorry. ill make it up 2 u when i visit ok?

Her heart was still drumming in her chest, but she didn’t feel quite as sick.

Yeah, okay. I really missed you. Did you know that was my first kiss? Stupid, right? Anyway, I’m glad you want to visit. I really am.

She figured she may as well tell the truth. They weren’t children anymore, and it was easier, so far away, so far from when she’d last seen him, to lay herself bare. She wouldn’t punch him to hide her feelings; she wouldn’t lash out. Not here and not now. She couldn’t if she wanted to-he was just words on a screen.


mine too. m glad too. i was thinking i could visit this weekend. r u free? id really really like to see you again. if its ok.

Oh gods oh god oh god he wanted to come in less than a week? Was she ready for that? What the hell had she done?

Of course it’s okay, stupid Sharkface! I really need to get to bed, I have to teach in the morning, but my number is 555-555-4264. You can text me with details-I’ll give you my address. What day were you thinking about coming? I’ll try to plan a few things. I could maybe even get some of our old friends to come over one day, or we could meet them if you want. Or-well-if you’d rather stay somewhere else, that’s okay, too, I’d understand.

Shit, she was rambling. Why was she so nervous? It was just a visit, she had five days to prepare herself, it would be fine. It just seemed so-fast after so long, and she was in knots.


friday night if its ok dont have a gig this weekend. definitely rather stay with u bookworm rather just stick with u 2 if its ok can catch others another time. dont need to make plans just wanna hang out if thats cool?

He just wanted to see her. He just wanted to see her. Her heart was racing again. She didn’t know what it meant. She knew what she wanted it to mean, but she quashed that thought because it was ridiculous. She didn’t even know him, not anymore. Why was she acting like a twelve year old with a stupid crush?

Then again, she supposed, in a very real way, that’s what she was. Maybe that’s what they both were.

That’s totally cool. I’ll see you Friday, Soul. Goodnight.

She didn’t wait for his reply, just closed her laptop and trudged to her room, stripping down to dive in her bed and try to calm her ridiculously rapid heart rate.

A minute later, she got a text.

see u friday maka. night.

The deep sigh she let out as she put down her phone was a reflex. Excitement buzzed through her veins, fear, nervousness. She felt sick and dizzy and elated.

Five days. In five days, for the first time in a decade, she would see her best friend, the boy she had loved and lost before she had even known what love was.

On Friday, one way or another, everything would change.


Hey guys! I know this is too late— I apologize and I hope you’d still notice this post I dedicated for all you people I follow :) And because giving a sweet message is too cliché, I’d like to thank you all bitches for spoiling me and for keeping me updated with all your shit ♥ I love your rants, ship wars, stupid fights, corny jokes and all the shit you post and spam on my dash ♥ (no but srsly, no joke— I might say them in a foul language, but in my 3 years here in Tumblr, I learned to accept what you guys really are *though sometimes I get confused when you change your url* and tbh I’m having a lot of fun :) There are a lot of posts that made me laugh, some that made me cry, and some that got me furious.. but what I mean is you may post and express whatever you want, don’t worry about the unfollowers and haters. They don’t know a single fuck about you, they don’t deserve to be noticed and let’s just learn that we can’t please everyone ♥ AND YES, I learned how to accept that not everyone tags their spoilers, I used to be like “OH NO WHY DID YOU FUCKING POST THAT *unfollows with hard feelings*” to “oh yeah? that’s awwwsummm *likes post*” like whatever I don’t even care anymore, this is Tumblr so what’s new lol)

Oh crap I talked too much again, dang! Anyways, I’m happy that I have talked to most of you, and all of you are lovely people I swear ♥ Btw, I apologize if I am not finished with the graphic Christmas presents (requests) yet, I unexpectedly got busy the past few weeks so I hope you would still accept them in the future! :)

If ever you read the whole thing, I want to thank you and I have a favor to ask of you guys… Can you please put in your tags an accomplishment this 2014 that you’re really proud of? It can be a small thing such as “I tidied my room!” or a big thing such as “I went to Japan!” (this is inspired from the YouTuber Hazikinz Semper and I want to know yours as well, if you don’t mind!) It’s something that makes us realize that though things happened so fast, it was still a good year after all, and will make us look forward to the next year :) As for me, this 2014 I overcame my anxiety disorder and I’m really proud of it~! Thank you bbies, I hope you have a good year (fuck yeah 2015 will be hella awesome, look at all dem upcoming anime! ♥)

Forgiveness - Part Four

Summary: Your live has changed drastically since you’ve moved back to Colorado. Things have changed you life, that you didn’t even expect. And then there was Dean, coming back into your life, just when you were able to forget about him as much as you could. This is the sequel to my Punch - Series. You should read it before you read this one.

Words: 1384

Pairing: eventual Dean x Reader

Originally posted by deangifsdaily

Warnings: language, angry reader, bit angsty maybe

A/N: It’s back! Bet you didn’t expect it. I’m gonna try to update this more often again and I’m also gonna try to start a new series along with this, so let’s hope I’ll manage writing two series’ at the same time. Feedback is appreciated as always!


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A Special Dedication

phan oneshot

word count: 2.1k

genre: Fluff and angst (?)

AN- Another collab with beware-phangirl again had alot of fun writing this and hope you all enjoy it! 

summary: Phil want’s to come out, but Dan’s not so sure…

Lets go!

“Dan, I need to put this in the oven now.” Phil gestured towards their hands, which were laced together affectionately.

“Oh right, yeah” Dan reluctantly let go, and Phil flashed his boyfriend a reassuring grin as he grabbed the oven gloves. He made to grab the tray, and watched as Dan swiped a glob of the brown mix. He slyly licked it off, looking away, acting innocent.

“Daaannnn!” Phil exclaimed in despair. Dan chuckled as he attempted to get another mouthful.

“Oi!” Phil swatted his hand away, his fingers lingering on Dan’s soft skin. Dan pouted adorably as Phil stored it in the oven.

“But its so good!”

“No.” Phil responded to Dan’s protests by wagging his finger in his face. Dan bared his teeth, playfully trying to bite it. Both erupted in laughter continued to playfully growl at each other.

“Remember last time we did this?” They were sitting down, waiting for their brownies to bake. Phil’s head rested in the crook of dans neck, as he flicked his eyes up to see Dan’s grin. Dan reached for his hand and squeezed.

“Yeah. That was fun.”  They shared a smile.

The harsh beep of the cooker interrupted them, and Phil jumped up, squealing “Brownies!” as he rushed over. Dan rolled his eyes lovingly as he stared after his boyfriend. A sweet aroma filledthe kitchen, and both took in deep breaths of the scent. Not thinking that the brownies had just been in a ridiculously hot oven, Dan reached out to grab a chunk. He jumped back, yelping and flapping his hands around as he realised his error.

“Silly person.” Phil chuckled, and carefully cut off a small slice of brownie, blowing on it before feeding it to Dan, who had recovered remarkably quickly.

They continued to feed each other, laughing if they managed to get crumbs on their noses.

“They tasted so good!” Phil announced when they had finished. A cheeky smirk emerged on Dan’s face as he scavenged the last crumbs.

“Not as good as you do!”


“Sorry, sorry. Yeah, that wasn’t appropriate.”

Blushing, Phil shook his head, trying to hide his giggles.

“No, it really wasn’t! That was so dirty!”

“What did you expect, you’re the innocent one!” Dan smirked in reply. He gently brushed the remaining cake from Phils cheek, and the older man raised his eyebrows.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t do this!” Phil pulled Dan closer, pressing his lips rather forcefully onto Dan’s. Dan was surprised at first, but was quick to respond, moving his lips to the tempo Phil was setting. They could both taste the sweet taste of sugar on the other. It was sometime before they broke apart, slightly breathless.

“Told you they didn’t taste as good as you.” Dan smirked as Phil blushed slightly, glaring at him.

“I knew exactly what you meant, Dan. Don’t try and wriggle out of it!“ He scolded. All the same, he pecked his lips again.

A silence settled as the remains of the joke faded away. Dan and Phil were left facing each other, smiling. The live lounge was a  comfortable place to hover whilst they waited for their call. Sometimes Dan, exhausted from late night browsing, would snuggle up to Phil on the sofa, resting his head on his shoulder. Other times, like today, they would sit next to each other and chat, hand in hand, whilst watching the bustle of the studio.

"Errr, Dan?” Phil asked tentatively.

“Mhm?” Dan mumbled, his head flopped back and his eyes closed. Phil’s heart fluttered, as always, as he watched them flicker open, Dan’s deep brown eyes smiling at him. Trying not to blush, Phil stared at his fidgeting hands.

“Um…I was just wondering…”

“C’mon Phil, what is it?” Dan smiled encouragingly down at phil, who was nibbling his lip anxiously. Phil sighed.

“Can we tell the viewers? About us? Tonight?” he continued to chew his lip. Dan’s smile faltered, and his eyes darkened slightly. he ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

“I don’t think so Phil…” Phil looked at him, sadness invading his eyes.

“But why?! We’ve been together for five years now, nearly six, and i hate hiding this, what we have…”

“Phil, no. I don’t want to…” Dan got cut off by phil, the sadness in his eyes replaced by flames of anger and hurt.

“Sometimes I think that you’re not proud of this. Do you want to be a couple at all? what’s the point of this if we can’t show it off!?”

“Phil, don’t do this. I’m sorry i just…”

“There’s nothing to be scared of, Dan! I’ll be there for you, for us…”

“Yeah, I know. it’s just I….”  

“And if you’re going to say something about the fans, don’t. They’d never give you crap, heck, most of them want us to be together. They love you, Dan, just like I love you”

By now both men had tears in their eyes. this wasn’t the first time they had fought over this.

“But Phil, you don’t…”

“Save it, Dan. Let me know when you aren’t ashamed of me.” Phil walked out of the room, heading to the studio, leaving Dan alone.

The fourth song was playing. There was no video, so they were left standing awkwardly in front of the camera, and the hundreds of worrying eyes that watched their every, stiff move. Dan couldn’t look at Phil; he knew that he’d burst into tears. The guilt and hurt had already eaten him whole. Phil passed the board, which had his hand writing scrawled at the top, to Dan, his eyes glancing at him before looking away in disgust. Dan tried to act normal as he drew, and even managed a small smile as he showed it to Phil. Phil nodded, but returned to the mass of buttons. Dan mentally sighed as he paced the headphones back on his head.

“And that was Train with Drive By” Phil spoke into the microphone.

“A song all about being there for each other.” Dan said, risking a light sideways glance at Phil, forcing a smile. “what’s your opinion on that,  then Phil?”

“Why would you ask that, Dan?” Phil replied, a hint of  sceptical accompanying what would usually be banter, flicking his fringe away to look at Dan.

“I dont know” Dan grinned as he threw his arms up, feeling the old ways returning. He could at least pretend everything was fine. “Just curious?” He added, his face pulling the expression the fans, and Phil, knew so well.

“Well, as long as you’ve got your laptop, you’re all set really aren’t you?” Phil smirked

“Really? Really Phil?” They both laughed, but even to Dan, it sounded hollow, not as real as usual. He could feel himself loosen up slightly, however.

“Yeah! Course” he paused. “That explains why you were so distraught on Wednesday when that criminal fly abducted your laptop!”

Dan felt a slight blush appear on his cheeks, flattered that phil remembered.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course, that explains everything!” Dan chuckled, and for a minute everthing seemed normal, that they were back to their usual happy bantering self. then he caught phil’s eye, and felt the ache fall over his heart again.

“Ok so, the next song is viewers video, to what, in my opinion, has become a real modern day classic. Here is Emma and Lucy to One Direction’s, What makes you beautiful! and don’t forget to tweet us using the hashtag #liferegrets. And by the way, Dan, didn’t I hear you singing One Direction in the shower…”

Dan hid his face in his hands and groaned, nodding slightly. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Phil laughing at him, loudly.

"That’s one thing I DO regret!” He chuckled, smiling at the camera. “You have to admit that it was a groundbreaking performance though!” He protested. He stared intently at Phil, forgetting their argument as his eyes locked with Phil’s blue ones. They looked at each other, as Phil slowly nodded, before the hurt returned to his eyes, and he frostily looked away. Dan looked away also, trying to hide the embarrassment and smitten expression which had invaded.

Fortunately for him, the music started to play, and he sighed in relief as the video took over. That had been the first time him and Phil had had a proper conversation, and it had just reminded him how bad he was being. He watched Phil, as his eyes skimmed over the laptop screen, smiling to himself at some of the tweets. He was perfect, amazing, beautiful. He didn’t deserve to have to hide anymore. Dan didn’t know, in all honesty, why he was so afraid. And that was the reason, he decided, he needed to do something about it.

It was how he went about it that was the problem. They had been together nearly six years, it wasn’t something he could take lightly. Phil was right, but he couldn’t just slip it into a sentence. Not only did he have to make it up to Phil, but he had to show to the fans how much they meant to each other.

“Isn’t that right Dan?” Phil’s voice cut him from his thoughts. Startled, he flung his head round to face him.

“What?” He asked. Phil studied him questionably, perfect eyebrows furrowed together.

“They can request any song, can’t they.” he repeated slowly, obviously baffled at Dan’s day dreams.

“Oh, right yeah.” he looked away again as the solution appeared in his head. He was looking at the camera, so Phil couldn’t see the proud smile that appeared on his face.

“Can I request a song?” Dan whispered to one of the staff, stealing a glance at Phil. He was busy entertaining their massive audience, so didn’t see Dan conferring with the others.

“Sure, what song?”

He pondered for a second,his mind casting back to the endless ‘Phan’ tags on tumblr. He smirked as the words “Still Into You, Paramore” escaped his lips.

The music died down, and Dan took a deep breath. His heart started to rush as he knew this was his chance. No one knew what was happening, except that he was requesting a song; Phil was completely oblivious. It was odd not having his reassuring smiles. Before Phil could speak again, Dan seized the oppurtunity.

“I have a life regret.” He blurted out.

dan turned to phil, meeting his eyes. He could see slight confusion, but he continued regardless. He had to do this.

“And that is not telling the world how I feel about Phil. Hiding him. Cause he is far too much of an amazing person to be hid. He’s beautiful, and funny and clever and adorable, and he came into my life when I needed him most and turned my world upside down. I fell head over heals in love with him. And we’ve been in love ever since.” Dan could feel the tears pricking at the back of his eyes as he turned back to the camera.

“That was nearly six years ago. And, hell, I wish I told you guys sooner. But I was scared. I’m sorry to those of you who didn’t want this, but, hell, if you are a real phangirl, then hopefully you can accept us. Accept this.” he reached out, intertwining his fingers with Phils, feeling a soft squeeze. He knew he was forgiven.

“I hope you’re glad in some way, I know I am! However, please don’t break Tumblr, I need it!” They both laughed, and Dan felt the familiar tug at his heart as he heard Phil.

“So there you go. The truth’s out. So, without further ado  here is Still into you, by Paramore, going out to Phil, my boyfriend.” As Dan heard the song begin to play, he removed his headphones, turning to look anxiously at phil, to be met with his boyfriends tearful eyes and huge smile. Phil pointed to a spot they both knew would be off camera and Dan nodded in return, allowing himself to be dragged over there by his hand.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Phil mumbled into Dan’s shoulder as he laced his arms round his waist.

“I wanted to. I owed  it to you.” Phil was confused at first as Dan pulled away from the hug, but seconds later found Dan’s sweet lips on his, moving steadily. The kiss only lasted a few moments, both knew they hadn’t got long until the song was over. Phil pulled Dan into one final hug.

“Thank you.”

Dan smiled, holding Phil close.

They reappeared on camera, scrolling through the mass of tweets.

“@bbcr1 any guesses as to what phan is up to off camera rn ;)”

Both laughed as they slid their headphones back on, preparing to face the next hour of the show.