i dont mind if no one will reblog this

just some personal thoughts...

im literally at a point where i no longer am okay with putting religion or culture before my own well being. obviously this affirmation is one that is newly concrete in my mind, so it will take a while for me to fully be able to internalize it and replace the self destructive thought processes i’ve had…basically all my life.

not to get dark but sometimes i feel like it’s impossible for me to truly convey the amount of hurt and pain ive experienced growing up, and even more so how ive had to endure it all alone. i couldnt tell anyone about anything bcs then…id be found out.  

I was a walking corpse that was animated by the pure fear of showing that there’s something wrong bcs then I’d be found out. Like in what fucking world is that analogy something an 8-12 year old would need to understand let alone experience and live as.

and honestly its made my relationship with god so difficult and emotionally taxing. on one hand i trust and believe that no god would be okay with all of what ive been through, and what many like me have been through. on the other hand, its difficult reconciling that when everyone around you, in your own community, your friends, family, say the exact opposite. “they should be killed/tortured/murdered/etc” are all sentiments that were said, heard, and internalized as if they were absolute truths. and quite frankly: what the actual fuck is wrong with everybody?

i truly feel no true affiliation or obligation towards anyone except like…..North African lgbt folk lmfao like at this point im really tired of everyone else. i hate how western lgbt folk love championing their way of living as if it is something to aspire to. fuck yall lmfao especially white westerners im so tired of them. i dont wanna assimilate into your culture. like truly nobody will understand my own experiences like other lgbt north africans. and i say this excluding the rest of the greater middle east bcs arabs and levantines are a bunch of antiblack racists. i truly dont believe in the idealized vision the lgbt community where all queers of every race somehow get along, just like i dont beleive int he idealized vision of the muslim community. both these communities have so much hate and stupidity in them lmao.

idk man like….im just tired of everyone and everything. i just want to put out love and positivity into the universe and receive the same.

2

(i was actually planning to do this when i gained 4.5k followers but h eck now i have 4,756??tySM????AAA<333)

ill randomly be choosing two winners! please keep in mind that it will be in the quality of the examples shown(the drawing will be a half-body piece!) 

to enter:

-must be following me(please dont unfollow right after ;;A;;!!)

-only reblogs will count!

-you can reblog more than one time<3

more info:

-i will not draw: nsfw, mecha, severe gore, and other things that i am not that confident in drawing ;;-;;!! if ur request goes into any of these categories we’ll find a way to sort it out(・∀・)/!

-up to 2 characters

-if you want the background transparent, please let me know! 

-the default bg will be as shown in the examples!

winners will be chosen in august 1st!

can i tag you?

i really kinda wanna tag you guys in things i made (edits, moodboards, aesthetics, poems etc) but i never know exactly who to tag? like idk who would be interested, so reblog this please if youre okay with it so i can always tag you in my things :)

(feel free to reblog this if it applies to you, so you can also tag the other people who reblog this in your creations, including me)

i hate everybody in this bar but specifically everybody talking about the Yuri Sugardaddy AU

@dadvans @codenamecesare TAKE RESPONSIBILITY







Anyway, Victor knows what it means when someone from the ISU tells him to be nice to the son of the Katsuki Hospitality Empire. The first time he was told to be nice to someone he was sixteen years old, and Yakov stood behind him and stared at the ISU official until they backed down: Victor hadn’t realized what was happening until Yakov told him, point blank, to make an excuse and come find him at once if it happened again.

He doesn’t mind so much now. He’s a grown man, and god forbid little Yuri, or Mila, be told to be nice to someone. It’s better that it’s him.

“I don’t even know what he looks like,” says Victor, smiling big, looking happy. “Perhaps an introduction?”

“He’s right there, in the black suit,” says the official, looking relieved. “He’s a big fan of yours, I understand.”

Victor follows the line of the official’s vision. He sees a young man, Japanese, wearing an expensive suit that doesn’t quite fit. He’s just a little chubby, but in a nice way. Soft. Victor lets his eyes drift down and then back up again. The Katsuki heir has nice hands and stands well. He has the most beautiful mouth Victor has ever seen. Victor could spend a night being nice to that beautiful mouth and not mind one little bit.

Victor flicks his hair out of his face and smooths down his suit jacket. He leaves the ISU official with a nod and walks up to the Katsuki heir. The Katsuki heir looks at him, wide-eyed. He’s kind cute, now that Victor looks at him up close. He’s got big brown eyes, like a tame deer, and he hasn’t put on three gallons of cologne.

“Hello,” he says. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I’m Victor.”

CGL/Little give away!

So I went from 625 to 611 over the last while, so I tried to think of a way to make more little friends. I thought a give away could be great! 

This give away will include: 

  • A brand name fidget cube
  • home made slime of mine 
  • a colouring books 
  • a small pack of crayons!

To enter you MUST!:

•Be okay with ALL FORMS of CGL. I don’t want to give things to somebody who hates me and people like me. Keep in mind, YOU DONT HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN CGL TO JOIN you just have to be ok with people who do!

•Be an age regressor of some sort. 

•Be okay with perhaps paying for shipping (only applies if shipping is over 20$, im sorry im really  not rich)

•Be okay with giving me your home address or a PO box address to send it to. 

To join, simply reblog this post (one entry) or like this post (2 entries) 

please do not reblog more then once! if i find out you do, you’ll be excluded from the give away!

that being said, please do not use any alt accounts JUST for contests either! I would prefer if reblogged to regression based accounts so I know its legit? but idk I cant control what you do. 

Contest will end July 31st! 

saturndream  asked:

Hi!! ive been on tumblr for a while (and following you for a while haha) and i just haven't been growing. im active and posting alot of my own pics but i havent gottan any new followers in 2 months! do you have any tips?

hello! first of all thank you so much for sticking around yay love yaaa! 💟 here’s a slightly elaborate (and quick) list of my tips to gain more audience:

1. ask ppl to check your blog! a little note that some people might find this annoying!! i find this okay bc i constantly feel the need to find and discover new blogs! however, that is not always the case for everyone. please do check the faq of every person before hitting up their asks!
2. make/post your own content. simple ones like cute photos, selfies, thoughts, etc. please do tag other people who can reblog it for you too! in my case, my tag is: peachisty! this really helps in gaining more notes i believe. this is because more notes = more audience!
3. get a nice lay-out, personalize it. dont just settle for the lay-out you took from the theme-garden. style it! literally the codes are everywhere in google! but if you have no idea where to start, feel free to hmu! i know lots of css stuff and im p much skilled with web designing so yeah :~)
4. choose your blog style and stick with it! in my case, it’s personal/art/positivity i guess? changing your blog style once a month doesn’t help tbh bc people want consistent content! and having literally super random stuffo is chaotic i believe?
5. get a nice, catchy url and dont just leave it around!!! dont change ur url everyday! my url is p much a gem so i dont rlly think i will ever ever change it tbh haha. i do have some saved ones that are centuries old btw!! if u dont have something in mind, feel free to hmu so i can give em to you
6. talk to your pals !!! may it be thru saying: “if u ever need somebody to talk to im here!” or thru posting updates about you or your day!! i think it just makes me feel safe and happy to read regular updates about ppl on my dash!!! i guess the same goes for other ppl!
7. make your own tag and reblog the stuff ppl tag you into!!! usually, your tag may be your url bc it’s easier to remember! i think this helpz bc u can gain pals thru exchanging of posts tooo
8. make a faves page! haha idk, but faves page made me discover tons of really cool blogs!!!!!! this assures u new mutuals too!!! mutuals that match your aesthetic! ;)
9. join networks. this did not entirely help me in gaining followers but it did help me gain friends!! this is bc networks treat each other like family!!! and idk!! that’s the very reason why i made tumblr tbh!! to meet new beautiful ppl that have the same aesthetics and passion as mine!! networks give u that! along with it, u can do group blog rates, follows, etc!
10. follow similar blogs! this is p much obvious! u follow similar blogs in order to have similar posts on your dash that u can easily reblog! also, if u have the same content, there is a huge possibility that the person will follow u back!!

last note: i want you to know that it is never about the amount of followers!! if you’re using tumblr as a platform to showcase your art: im pretty sure it feels more validating to have sum ppl recognize your talent but please do not entirely depend on it! dont stop making art just because you dont have lots of audience! the amount of ppl who sees your art =/= your skills ok !!!!! :0 at the end of the day… if you come to think of it… i can delete this blog and im back to 0?? i mean… do you get me? you’re still youuu! :)

i hope this helps !! good luck on your journey bb 🐝

Random bios.Please like/reblog if you use.

my life is one big “wow ok”

everyones getting in relationships and i can’t even find my other sock

i love when people shut the fuck up

i dont love you I love myself

i stopped caring when i was like 3

horoscope: hungry

I want to be skinny but I also want pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner

fun fact: don’t speak to me

i’m basically just a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind who has high standards

i take super hot showers because i like to practice burning in hell

i got 99 problems and probably about 94 of them come from my lack of motivation to do anything

occupation: princess

if you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple

🔥Alecbaene's Fancasts🔥

So, since I am bored out of mind and the hiatus means that my blog is pretty much dead, I am doing a fancast. Basically I will be making a character, based on you!! (can you tell I have too much free time?)

Rules :

  • mbf me
  • reblog this post
  • send me an ask with your name and your selfie tag (if you have one), if you don’t have one, I will do it based on your blog.
  • if you have any preference with regards to your SO, please mention it in the ask. Otherwise, all genders will be taken as fair game.

Format :

  • Species : shadowhunter | werewolf | vampire | seelie | warlock
  • best friend :
  • significant other :
  • Weapon of choice : seraph blade | bow and arrow | diplomacy | fists | whip | sword | magic | fangs | claws
  • any special talents / warlock mark :
url graphics

hey guys ive decided to start making url graphics again! you can see the url graphics i made last year here. if you would be interested in receiving one you can like or reblog this post (it doesnt matter). I will probably only make a few of these (like 5) over the next month or so, and i will only be making graphics for urls that inspire me.

anonymous asked:

I thought i was the only person that's seriously bothered by astrology haha. I think lots of people secretly have weird triggers. It's ok to ask for them to be tagged if you need to!

yea i just have bad associations bc someone who Hurt Me badly would use it to be like “we’re so compatible :)” and would constantly attribute my behavior to my sign. so like it makes me uncomfortable when ppl take it really seriously and i have a hard time trusting ppl who hardcore believe in it like that unless i know theyre a good person who knows when to stop

300 Art raffle

I got no idea how I got 300 followers but thanks
How to enter:
Reblog and say “enter”
Can like too to get two chance in
Rules:
-Must be following me (new followers are welcome)
-no Nsfw/+18
-I can reject some characters to draw
-don’t get mad when your not a winner
-don’t unfollow me when art raffle is over that’s plain rude (or if want to i dont mind)
-Nobody can be chosen twice

1st place
•full body
•shaded
•2 characters in
• background

2nd place
•half body
•shaded
•3 characters in
•two color background

3rd place
•icon
•shaded
•one color background
•2 characters in

4th place
•sketch
•icon
•one color background
•shaded

5th place
•traditional drawing
•3 characters in
•shade

That’s all, sorry I could put pictures in this
If I don’t get much enters than I won’t do 5th place

Deadline august 13
Eyes Closed - Part 2

A/N: Wow. I’m speechless. I want to thank everyone who liked, reblogged or even just read the first part. I appreciate every single one of you so much. The fact that people took the time out of their day to read something I wrote still blows my mind. Not gonna lie, I shed a few tears :’)
Alright, I’m gonna stop now before this gets too long. Here’s Part 2. I hope y’all enjoy!

Jack and the guys had just finished their second tour and were back home. Home. Whenever he heard that word he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about you. After all this time, he still couldn’t get you off his mind. Although he’s a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, letting you go will always be something he would regret.

Keep reading

One night - Steve Mcgarrett

You were in the libary at the Hawaiin University. Studying wasnt your favourite part to do today. But because you always wanted to study this you needed to get your shit together and learn for this exam next week. You had difficulty to understand certain areas. But it was your wish to study so you left Germany behind you to become a history and german teacher in Hawaii, your dream place. At 22 you were still young and everyone who knew you wanted that you take a break to just do something for yourself for once. And you agreed, when this exam would be over you promised them you would go out with them and forget your responsibilities for once. Forget your job, forget University and just have fun. At least for a night, what should go wrong? I mean your friends let go all the time and nothing bad happens. So why shouldnt you do it too?

——————————————————————————-

Well now you know why you shouldnt do that. You drank way to much but your exam just went so well that you wanted to celebrate that. And now you were laying in bed with a stranger that was way to good looking for you and all you could think about is how could you have done that. And how could you get out of his house without him noticing. After all his arm was wrapped around you. But you tried anyway. You did not want to wake him up and be even more embarrased than you are now. You would swear that you havent even moved yet, but somehow Mr. Handsome, as you would call him now, until you would know his name, woke up in a blink. The only think you could to was to just say “Hey”.. “Morning, you are awake early. Havent thought you would be. Not after what you drank last night.” “Ehmm.. well I can never sleep long, when I had a little bit of alcohol. Its a thing since my teenage years.” “Teenage years? So underage drinking was your thing?” You were shocked. You totally forgot that America was the country of 21. You hated it when people thought bad of you, or that you did something illegal. So you were quick with your answer, maybe to quick. You fell into some kind of ramble, which was to easy with his watchfull eyes. He seemed to get every information out of you without even asking. “Nooo of course not. I just drank beer. It is legal in Germany at the age of 16. I would never go against the law. I am way to nervous for that. Once I accidentally stole a hairclip from my piercer. I felt so guilty that I came back to pay for it. They all laughed at me. And…” “Stop stop” He laughed “I believe you.” He smirked “ Before you tell me anymore about you, do you maybe want to have some breakfast? You can contiune your story there.” You did it. You embarrased yourself even more. You were pretty sure you looked like a tomato by now. If he hadnt stop you, you would have told him your lifestory, with all the unasked footnotes. But he didnt seem to be bothered by it. He was calm and not at all annoyed. So you agreed to some breakfast.

And you realised, that Mr. Handsome wasnt just to handsome, he was also a great cook. He made the best pancakes you ever had. It was really unfair. He was good looking, seemed to be smart and well educated, and he could cook. He was the all around package. With that in mind you just could not stop your mouth from moving. “What is your goddam flaw?” He seemed perplex. Like he was surprised by your question. “What do you mean?” “ Well, see ehmm?” He laughed again, even his laugh sounded to good to be true. “Steve. My name is Steve.” “ Well okay Steve. Sorry for forgetting it. But you see. You are handsome, very handsome. You seem to be smart. And you are nice and a great  cook. What is your goddamn flaw. You arent even messy. That is not normal. Everyone has a flaw. Mine is clear. I talk to much and to often and I never know when to shut up, so help me out here and interrup me, or I will never stop talking.” “That is really kind of you but we all have flaws, we just dont see them sometimes. And just for your information, I think your talking is very cute. It suits you.” You blushed. “Thank you.” After that you ate your breakfast in silence. But it was comfortable. With that you had enough time to imagine what his flaw could be. Until his phone started to ring. “McGarrett? Yes Danno I am alive and well. I decided to sleep in today.” You were sure you heard something about super seal and never sleeping in but you were to concentrated with your sirup. It just did not want to come out of the bottle. It was frustrating. “Y/N, I am sorry but I need to go to work. Can I drive you somewhere ?” “Yes that would be really nice of you. I am just going to put my clothes back on.” “Take your time. I am going to make the dishes.” Great now he is even doing the dishes. This man is perfect.

—————————————————————————————————

“Well here we are. That is were I live.” “Y/N,  I really liked your company. If you may, you know, ever want to hang out again… just give me a call.” “With that he gave you a card with the inscription: Hawaii5O - Special Task Force: Lt. Commander Steven J. McGarrett. Before you could say anything he was already gone. 

You did not call him for 5 days. You werent sure if it would be a good idea. But at the end you just could not resist and called. “McGarrett.” “Hey.. Steve here is Y/N” “Y/N. One moment.” You heard him moving and saying something like “Shut up Danno” “Hey Y/N I already thought you would not call.” “Well I actually thought about it. But you just stucked in my mind and I could not resist anmore.” “Well then I am happy that I am so memorable.” You laughed “You have no idea how much.” “Enough to go on a date with me?” “Definitly.” “Good I am picking you up at seven. You like steak?” “Will you be angry if I dont?” “I am going to be confused but I am ready to listen to your reasons for not liking steak while I cook something different, okay?” “Deal. See you tonight.” “See you.” 

After a few dates you finally found out what his flaw was. He was reckless. 

————–

Hey readers :) 

My next one is finally up. Spent a wonderfull day in Netherland. The sun was shining it wasnt to hot but you had still summervibes. 

Like always it would be great if I could get a like, reblog or whatever you have in mind, to know if you liked this one. 

If you want to see pics of my day in the Netherland then follow me on Instagram and on Snapchat. Both @chrissiswworld. 

Love Chris

No Torbjorn isnt racist but you might be.

Im (very) annoyed seeing so many react to the comic this way. This wasnt “gross racist learns the people he hate can be good” this is “war soldier who watched millions die from unthinking machines and thus doesnt trust them learn that thise machines might be more than sum of their parts”

His self loathing isnt recignizing his own prejudice because he didnt have any. It was coming from blaming himself for the sins of his creation. Learning no matter how much hurt you cause you can always start doing good.

You have to remember optimistic characters like Tracer and Lucio are valuable but also they were children during the omnic crisis. Meanwhile torbjorn was probably upgrading his new friends armor so next time they faced a bastion hed have a few seconds to put his shield up instead of turning into human soup like his fellow soldiers in euchenwalde.

Prejudice is hating someone because you think you know them.

While torbjorn knew omnics better than anyone.

Thats why in his last comic he said he didnt blame omnics, they just followed their programing. Torbjorn hating omnics is like someone hating guns.

And dont forget that the Shambali are new AND that during the war omnics were controlled by God a.i.s as far as he knew it was a plot by one to find a more subtle approach.

I reblogged awhile back someone frustrated with how they were treating this. Because this isnt someone hating for no reason. Like sombra is one of THOUSANDS of orphans in mexico. Her parents are dead. Killed by omnics. Mind controlled by God ai.

Its almost as fucked up as calling black panthers or malcom x racist. Course white ppl been mass murdering for hundreds of years while omnics only did it for a few years.

Point being if you think Tor is “omnic racist” i think you need to learn what racism really is and the overwatch team needs to be careful with their metaphors