i dont know why i did this tbh i cant believe i went through with it

anonymous asked:

do u have any like hcs or cool thoughts on Trans girl Keith?? bc i like the idea of Keith as a Trans girl but haven't seen any meta on that hc

um! i dont have meta per se, because i dont think anything in canon points to it, its just a Feel i’ve got… and idk if my thoughts are especially Fun, but! i have A LOT TO SAY IM SORRY THIS GOT REALLY LONG

  • she kinda gradually figured it out in her like, mid-late teens? (i hc keith as 19) from being on sorta bad parts of the internet. like, there are a lot of trans girls who gradually find themselves through hanging out in fetishizing 4chan threads, unfortunately… i feel like she stumbled across that bc of going there for like, video game threads or whatever, i think practically everyone went to /b/ a couple times as a teenager just to see why people talk about it
  • she doesnt have “girly interests” really so it takes a long time to realize that her body dysphoria is still valid for being trans, and not just a “fetish” or something, the way people online treat it… meeting pidge was a big step in helping that worry
  • shes generally a really private person, so she feels like theres a strong divide between ‘boy keith’ and ‘girl keith’, and like ‘boy keith’ is genuine, but she’s not bigender, she’s a girl… she comes out really slowly, to one person at a time, once she feels like they know her well enough to really understand her as just a Person, not like, “a boy who does/likes x”
    • like, even if the other person is also trans or very accepting, it’s less about concern for Coming Out As Trans and more concern about being ‘vulnerable’ by letting them past the “quiet rough impatient pilot boy” version of her. she’s very private about a lot of things but gender ties into a lot of it because ‘boy keith’ is a standoffish public mode and ‘girl keith’ is a real self
  • she came out first to some online friends, most of whom are also trans; they probably met through some obscure embarrassing like, teen mechanics forum, or a video game fandom, and unknowingly stuck together as Future Trans Kids
  • the first person she came out to irl was shiro, when they were friends pre-kerberos; they hung out a lot doing stuff like dirtbike racing in the desert, and shiro was open about not really liking masculinity stuff, and keith felt a bit like shiro could tell there’s something Not Boy about keith but never treated her weirdly for it, so it felt safe to come out. obviously shiro was accepting and later decided he’s nb (tho i cant decide exactly what sort)
  • hunk was probably next? hunk is easy to talk to, i care a lot about him reaching out to keith, and tbh keith has kind of a crush on him… they spend a lot of time together in general (or at least, a lot by keith’s standards), so hunk noticed her feeling a little strange and stressed around pidge after pidge came out and asked why
  • keith has some inferiority trouble about pidge at first, because pidge Always Knew and is already transitioning, while keith figured it out “late” (teens is still young but you know how it feels) and in a “weird”/”gross” way and couldn’t imagine trying to come out to her foster family (they probably wouldve been.. well-meaning. theyd understand eventually but still be frustrating at first and probably tell her to wait to do hrt as an adult), and feels anxious about the fact that transitioning would be Visible and draw questions… she sees pidge as the Good and Real type of trans and herself as fake and gross. but after admitting this to hunk he assures her that it’s still valid and that pidge herself wouldnt think of someone else as fake or lesser for having a different process
  • so keith decides to come out to pidge and they gradually get closer and become really sisterly; it definitely reassures keith that neither of them are very femme and both have “male” interests. she learns some hacking and programming stuff from pidge, and helps pidge and hunk work on modifications to the lions and stuff
  • lance is last because… i love lance but he did not react very tastefully to pidge coming out, and, the way he interacts with keith specifically is really macho from the start. keith feels like she definitely has to be Boy Keith with lance all the time, because lance treats her as a Boy Rival. she tries to be friendly with lance (the cradling thing, which lance shut down and tbh that hurt her feelings because.. keith doesnt reach out a lot..) and they spend time in proximity because theyre both close to hunk, but it’s harder for keith to get very personal with lance, because of the macho antagonism stuff. 
  • but once shes out to everyone else it feels sort of frustrating and messy to be closeted with Just lance, especially like.. with the voltron mind link.. (i wish we had more info about how deep that goes, though.) so she decides to trust lance and try to take friendly initiative by coming out to him too. probably overly casually, or she maybe gave the others permission to start using she/her in front of lance finally. hes confused and kinda fumbles his reaction but apologizes quickly and thanks her for trusting him
  • akdjks this is so long already sorry so uhh allura and coran basically just find out by everyone else referring to keith differently (she doesnt have very strong one-on-one relationships with them yet, so it hasnt come up), and theyre cool with it
  • once she’s out to everyone she starts changing presentation gradually! because tbh so long as her teammates support her she doesnt have to care at all about human gender standards/impressions, or feel weird about strangers noticing changes
    • she actually cuts her hair shorter, rather than growing it out, because the mullet was kind of a dysphoria thing– maintaining a lazy shitty haircut because you dont know what you actually want to look like, or are afraid to pursue it
    • they find a way to synthesize hrt for her, for gradual body shape changes
    • she used to prefer to keep her arms/chest pretty covered, but knowing that people believe in her gender, and knowing shiro is nb and Mega Ripped, helps her comfort and she wears tanktops more
      • when she grows boob she is Free with it. does keith look like someone who would wear a bra, ever,
    • she doesnt like makeup that much because she doesnt like.. textures, or having to wash it off, but a bit of eyeliner and highlighter helps her look how she wants to. she just leaves it on for days. her skin isnt great and she wont let lance help with that bc not washing her face is her right

uhh!! i THINK thats it. thank you for asking and giving me an excuse to organize all of this, it helped me solidify a few details so im grateful!!

Happy 5th birthday to my blog!

ok so my blog turned 5 and i wanted to make a little appreciation post because i love you and your blogs all so much, i’ve changed fandoms and urls so much in the past five years but most of you have stayed and i met so many new people and i became such good friends with a lot of you and you’re all amazing!!! (i put it under a cut bc it got way longer than intended whoops)

Keep reading

Rant/pep talk. If you dont agree just ignore this. Dont take me srsly either lol

Just few words of encouragement for you aspiring/amateur/hobby artists. If you dont call yourself an artist and consider yourself more of a “person who draws/writes” thats fine too but remember that being an artist is not only a job title, or something you do pretty often. You just are okay. Everybody can be an artist!!! Kindergarteners are artists!! YOUR PLANT IS ART

Anyways where i was going with this. Ah right. This is just coming from the heart ok and I’m gonna be blunt about it. If you think that the notes on your art posts reflect how good you are THATS BULLSHIT. And i will admit it ok but i feel salty about some posts of mine which didnt take much effort gaining more popularity than the ones i spent lit DAYS. (I feel salty about other ppl too lol I’m human let me be) so I’m like WTF Tumblr ppl? so anyways one of the reasons why i think (personal opinion coming from personal experience dont hate me for this) its bc of how a fandom works. A lot of fanart get more popular than original work so lets face it. Its more of a crowd interested in the same topic than individuals looking for original stories. And its also one of the reasons why i stayed as a fanartist or created original stories but with ALREADY existing characters. Ya i need to make friends somehow lmao

Many drawings will get to 10k+ and it’s sometimes due (but absolutely NOT the only reason) to it being cute and simple, a relatable comic, A POPULAR SHIP, a trending style, or a good ass headcanon that will break many hearts. BUT they face cons too like having their art reposted shit ton of times or badly edited and resized in a horrible way or just ppl hating on them bc they dont agree. I feel for you. And its not like they intended to be that way ok MY POINT is to talk about how a fandom behaves and not shit on artists OK I LOVE ARTISTS THEY ARE ALL COOL BUT I FEEL INTIMIDATED. Ok bye

(Not like I’m saying they dont deserve all that bc there are actually ppl w super cool stuff and styles that deserve so much more and they EARNED it. every single one of heir followers and note. They worked their ass off, studied, practiced everyday, been doing it for years, etc.. I started drawing since i was a kid and just practiced hard a lot so i get to defend myself lol)

And some people (me included) think that a drawing reaching over 1k notes is a milestone. I mean it is!!!! My shit got seen by prob over 500 ppl in the whole world holy shit!!! My mom would never believe this!! but dont get hung on trying to reach a notes count quota!!! Because many reasons THAT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER play a role on how your posts are being reached. Either someone is followed by a popular blog and their stuff gets spread like wildfire, it’s /aesthetic/ and trendy so they are a hot topic, it’s released p fast after some ep aired (ie drawing what happened in the ep that just broadcasted 10 min) its like fresh bread just out of the oven and still warm. The amount of hashtags used since they contribute to how searchable your stuff is. And then the elephant in the room. THE FANDOM ITSELF. Yes I’m talking about gay sports anime. And others ahem.

AGAIN I’m not blaming the artists themselves, you are all cool keep doing your thing. Its their choice what they decide to draw for. If you suspect some of us decided to draw a fandom just to be popular or be noticed or wtv LET US BE. ITS OUR LIFE. If we are not hurting or offending you then you really dont have anything to complain about. Ahem I’m getting myself dragged off topic. Try to not be sleep deprived my children this is what happens.

BUT YOOOUUUUUUU. If you are discouraged bc of notes, popularity, or the type of ppl following you (if its p*rn blogs then I’m rly concerned) STOP!!! AND LOOK AT ME!! WELL JUST KEEP READING!!! YOU ARE VALUABLE. EVERYTHING YOU PRODUCE IS AMAZING BC BEING ABLE TO CREATE SOMETHING FROM YOUR IMAGINATION IS LIKE TOTALLY AMAZING. DO NOT TAKE FOR GRANTED YOUR ENTHUSIASM OR ABILITY TO DO SOMETHING!!!! When I’m a rotten old tomato i will be HELLA PROUD of all the shit i drew in my blossoming years. Like “look at all the sad and horrible drawings i did kids. YES ALL BY ME. Nobody believed this headcanon but i went and did it!!!”

Nobody or nothing should stop you from creating art!!!! GO WILD MY FRIEND. Go do what your heart desires do not let NUMBERS decide if you are worthy of exposure or friends or tags we are all big nerds at the end. DRAW WRITE CREATE WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD. IF YOU DONT THINK YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH well let me tell you you will always be your harshest judge. You are the only who knew what went through the process and what mistakes happened. And nobody is perfect tbh not everybody can be beyonce. And THAT IS FINE. I go to sleep knowing I’m not her but i still get up and do my thing!!!

It’s a pill hard to swallow sometimes for some of us. That we want to know where we lie, how popular can we be, how many ppl can we attract, why are we not like others. It’s ALL FINE BUDDY. I sometimes cant ignore it and worry about it too. But then i show my friends the smallest of my crappy doodles from middle school AND THEY ALL THINK ITS AMAZING. Well not all. Again we are all not beyonce. So whatever the internet says irl could be a diff story. But how did that compliment happened?? (i like praise and attention ok i said it it helps my self steem dont judge) BECAUSE YOU CREATED SOMETHING

Ok this is my pep talk to you all. Be proud of what you create. Share it w others if you want. Just start. That’s the biggest hurdle sometimes. Taking the initiative. Sometimes we just need a small push so I’m writing this to push you. Imagine what you could create some years later if you just dont give a shit and improve w every creation you make??? AMAZING RIGHT MY MOM WOULD BE PROUD she will judge tho she calls all my drawings pikachu