i dont know what you want me to say


See, I died, but anything I would’ve seen or felt was wiped away. I don’t remember anything, but you do. What do you want to know, Phil? What did you see?

anonymous asked:

im so fucking sorry, i feel like i cant even read properly rn so im so fucking sorry if i ramble, have no idea what im doing, feel like im drowning, dont know what other excuse i can give that makes me sound less crazy and stupid. everyone i want to talk to right now just to keep my head above the water is either asleep or i think mad at me, i've had a shit night and i wish i could take it back. not trying to bother you sorry, just im completely fucking alone rn need to say something to someone

2/2  please dont think im trying to bother you for advice or anything i promise im just trying to keep my hands or my head or something busy, you’ve been such a constant in my life because your blog calms me down, i just had to say something and i dont expect any posted response on your blog, im just trying to fucking stop my head from exploding, im so fucking sorry

hey there friendo, i hope it’s okay to post this because i really wanna respond as directly to you as possible

idk what’s happening to you right now but as hard as it sounds, take some breaths, count how long you inhale/exhale, do anything that can center your focus on something and try to prevent your thoughts from going everywhere and making things worse. 

you’re not bothering me, and you don’t need to apologize for messaging me, it’s okay buddy you’re okay. do you have any activities that calm you down or relieve panic attacks? drawing, counting, making food, playing with clay? those are things that can keep both your hands and your brain busy and focused. if you don’t think you can, i find that curling up in fetal position and hugging a firm pillow to my chest is very helpful. 

i’m so sorry you’re feeling like this right now, it’s awful, but it’ll pass, i promise it will. 

you should know that right now, i’m with my roommate, Peter, and he says that he’s sending you all of the hugs and support (he also says you have support from Tink and Peter so there’s that <3). we’re throwing you hope and love all the way from Arkansas!!!

please be well, friend, i believe in you, you can do it

in-an-other-fantasy  asked:

So beautiful ends. Im really happy about this. I dont know why but it makes me glad to have read this till the end. 😊 SO What are you writing next ? :D

:D Thank you, darling. Ahhh, I don’t know. I’ve been doing work for university today and twiddling my thumbs thinking about “what’s next”. It feels strange not to have something on the go. I feel like I’m drifting aha.

I really want to write something for YOI, but I just do not know the characters well enough, and writing anything large-scale for it would be like stepping into a minefield: I would be assuming so much about the personalities of the characters, and then in the next episode it might completely contradict what I’ve written. I have to be patient! (Or write a one-shot.)

I think I might start giving some more thought to the Historical AU and do some plotting/writing for that tonight, though. I think that is the most appealing project atm. But… Idk. What do people want to read?  

I said I’d write an essay about why I think Alex Danvers is a lesbian so here ya go:

First off there are people telling me “she could be bi” because she dated men and maybe that’s the case, but I believe she’s struggled and still struggled with compulsory heterosexuality and heres thr wiki page in case you dont know what that is: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_heterosexuality 

Alex also wanted  always make her mom proud and always protected Kara and even says in 2.02 that she sacrificed most of her life to stay by kara so it would make full sense that she only dated guys because they were there and it as easy. there’s also the fact that she never got with max. the writers could’ve easily had them kiss and him become redeemed but they didn’t and Berlanti said in multiple interviewsources that they did plan for a character the most be gay last year they just didn’t have the time. Almost everyone on the show had a relationship or hint at one James had Kara and Lucy, Winn had Siobhan, Cat has mentioned past relationships and even J'onn and Senator Crane flirted. Alex had no mentions of relationships except for that throwaway comment about he guys she dated in college and because she said guys it was multiple so she was probably in a relationship with them but maybe the reason that none of those relationships lasted past college was that she lost interest in them. a lot of this is interpretation but it makes sense that Alex would only date guys because they were there and she was never fully committed to any of them because she had to protect Kara. 

Tldr: I think Alex is gay because of compulsory heterosexuality and the fact that there’s only been one comment that would hint at any attraction to guys

I really wanted you to text me today, I really wanted that.
I miss her ya know? She’s such a sweet innocent thing.
I think i miss the feelings really, especially when i slept over, I dont think I’ve ever felt so snug and warm in a bed before. It’s different you know.? Waking up next to somebody than waking up alone.
I wake up a lot thinking, “please not another day” but when i woke up and she was the first thing i saw id add a little something to my sentence, “but at least I’m with you”
Honest to whatever god you wnt i was genuinely happy.
I just wanted you to say happy birthday
Marisol asked me what I wanted for my birthday and i told her in a very sullen tone, “you cant buy me what I want, ever” i know it sounds edgy and cheesy but it’s true.
I’m a very emotionally secluded person, I dont talk about my feelings unless i can get a joke out of it. It’s hard for me to connect with someone because i always pull back out of some wierd sense of self preservation.

I’ll read a dictionary some time, I need to know more words so i can describe things better. I see the world a different way than other people do, and that makes me sad.

so apparently people are mad at the deadpool movie because he isnt “pansexual enough”
he starts to have sex with/date/fall in love with vanessa at least 15 minutes into the film so i dont know what you wanted to show that he was attracted to all genders? a montage scene of him fucking dudes and nonbinary people? to me, as a pansexual, it was more than clear to me that he isnt heterosexual and even THEN the marketing campaign didnt splash over the fact he is not straight.
the fact that he falls in love with and dates a woman in the deadpool movie does not make him LESS of a pansexual. pansexual = attracted to all genders. women are apart of that category and the fact people are saying deadpool was too heterosexual due to vanessa/wade is high-key panphobic.
not to mention ryan reynolds, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYS DEADPOOL AND EXEC PRODUCER OF THE FILMS, wants deadpool to have a boyfriend in future films and does not heterowash him in the slightest? he talks about his pansexuality quite often actually. so y'all need to chill because i swear when bi/pan/polysexual characters are in relationships with the opposite gender y'all just heterowash ‘em yourselves.

This. Things Daddy says. ♡

Thats a good girl.
I’ll protect you.
Daddy’s here, don’t worry.
Dont move, accept your punishment.
You’re adorable.
Only good kittens get kisses.
I’m the boss.
No whining.
Daddy will take care of you.
Don’t bite that lip, you know what it does to me.
Do you want a spanking? Be a good girl.
You’re doing a good job.
I know what’s best.
What did you just say?
Look at me when I’m speaking to you.
You’ll do as your told.
Get over my knee.


4 Things You Don’t Know About Us


ashton and sweater paws just goes together in prob the best way 

im pretty sure he was trying to kill us here

hes just being so cute and so are the rest hfueoqf

sweater paws + smile + dimples + just every thing jfipwpg

and then we have mr luke hemmings overe here messing with our emotions


he knows exactly what hes doing with our emotions





did Michael learn you that Calum

dont get me started on michael bc hes the master of looking perfect in big sweaters

just look at him

i just want him to stay cold forever so he can wear those long sleeved sweaters

pink hair and sweater paws makes me weak



idek what to say about this

and this is why 5sos should always always always wear big sweaters

Say Yes (Kris cut ver)
  • Say Yes (Kris cut ver)
  • Kris
  • Make your move ost

Yes, they know the tip and tryna get with
Yes, the girl to get this night lit
Yes, so wanna (?)
So don’t say no I’m just tryna get to know ya
Yes, make you row in this two seater
Yes, who’s about a ten on my love beater
Yes, just make it happen baby don’t say no



Let me just take a moment to appreciate Sir Charles Chaplin

Don't want it to be awkward - Nash Imagine

“Nash we cant keep doing this” I said pushing his slightly off me. We were back stage in I think a janitors closet. I know. the most cliche hiding place ever. “Well I asked you if you wanted to tell the boys” he protested leaning back in to continue making out but I kept my hand on his chest and pushed him off. “Yeah and what will we tell them that we’re dating? Cause we’re not. That we’re just having sex with each other? Yeah talk about making all of our friendships even more awkward.” I replied. Nash sighed knowing it was true. “I just want you” He said staring down at me. “Well then why dont you ask me out” I suggested, he sighed and I knew what he was going to say like he always would as his excuse. “I just don’t want-” “you just dont want it to be awkward around the guys.. yeah yeah whatever” I said pushing him off him and reaching for the door knob “Hey” he said grabbing my other free wrist, I had already twisted the door knob. “Stay in my room tonight” he said and I just rolled my eyes and walked out to get ready to go out on stage. I was vine famous too (just pretend magcon was still the same with all the boys in it and everything). I would always sleep with one of the guys every once in a while so when I asked one of the boys if I could sleep with them it wasn’t a big deal. We did the show and I almost forgot how mad I was at Nash until I felt somones arms wrap around me. “Can you just leave me alone!” I yelled turning around to see a confused Matt. “oh sorry Matt. I thought you were someone else..” he nodded “Its ok. who you so pissed at?” he asked wrapping his arms around me again. This is why me and Nash dont tell anyone because I was best friends with all of the guys. “Doesn’t matter.. I dont really want to talk about it..” he nodded and grabbed my hand. “Lets go the pizza just got here.” We walked back in the hotels venue thing where we had preformed and i saw everyone sitting in some of the hotel chairs and some on the floor. I looked around and saw Nash starring at me and Matt. I pretended I didnt notice and ;looked back to Matt. Matt sat down on a hotel chair and patted his lap. I sat on his lap and the people who were sitting at on the chairs were also at a table and it just so happen that nash was sitting across from us. I was laughing at everything that was going on and at the boys being well them. Matt making me laugh like he always did and I made eye contact with Nash a few times and he was just staring at me and Matt. I kind of liked jealous Nash. I didnt know why he was so jealous though, he made it clear to me that he just wanted sex. “Hey Matt can I spend the night with you tonight?” I asked him loud enough for Nash to hear “Of course babe” I smiled at Matt and looked over at Nash and I could see his jaw clenching. I actually liked Matt, and Nash not telling me how he feels about me wasn’t going to hold me up on new people. 


You know what I don’t like, when Rapmon has solo songs everybody gets angry because they want Yoongi to have solo songs, when Yoongi has solo songs everybody gets angry because they want Hoseok to have solo songs…. Man, will you stop complaining about stuff and enjoy a comeback? Enjoy the music and the videos and the amazing songs I’m sure they will release? Enjoy all the things Bangtan will give us these months after surely a lot of time of hard work and practice. Hobi will have his time too we just have to wait. Just like Rapmon and then Yoongi, maybe Hobi is the next one, but I don’t like seeing people talking shit about Yoongi because we are a fandom and a family who should support every member. I support every Bangtan member, every member not just one or two, and I know we all want a solo song of our bias but Bangtan is a group, and I’m sure all of them will have their time to shine on a solo song someday, but meanwhile, enjoy the music and appreciate their work, because I find disrespectful seeing people talking in bad way about Yoongi. Just an opinion.

I dont know what it is about you. Maybe its the way nothing else matters when we’re talking, or how you make me smile more than anyone else has. It could be the way you say the right thing at exactly the right time. But whatever it is, I just want you to know that it means everything to me.
  • Listen

Henry’s voice message on flitto:
Hi everyone~ ah I have something that I want to say today.
I don’t know how I should say this but just wanna say that no matter what happens in the future, I will always think about my fans and they will always be in my heart. I’ll always love you…so don’t hate me(c)