i dont know this was like 8 years ago i dont remember anymore

as a jewish person ive learned about the holocaust to the point where buzzwords like “concentration camps” or “train systems” and things like that dont have the same effect on me anymore. year after year i learn the same facts, and expand on the knowledge that ive already received, whether thats willingly or in a classroom/synagogue setting [i went to sunday school for about 8 years]. i am well aware of all the atrocities committed and how thats probably why nobody in my family knows anything about our lineage past grandparents on my moms side.

that stuff used to make me really emotional. its so terrible. its devastating how something like that could really happen. but it doesnt affect me much anymore. ive heard it so many times, its just facts.

but sometimes it still does. i was reading this post this morning and i got overwhelmed with emotion again. its a special kind of helpless sad/angry. all the horribleness of what happened and all i know about it came rushing back to me

then, before i could even start to cry or anything, i remembered just last night i was reading news stories of nazis and white supremacists organizing throughout my country. how they have numbers no one ever though they would, and are only gaining more and more recognition. i finally connected the two in my head. the nazis of the past that devastate me emotionally are what these idiots marching around are trying to be. they want that again. any alt right shithead wants something similar to it. they dont think the fact that ill never meet millions of people like me bc they were literally exterminated is sad or even wrong.

if you think that kind of mindset should be given a platform to speak, then you shouldnt have one. the fact that something as terrifying as what happened 60+ years ago is alive and breathing today is cause for one thing only, and that is for people to step up and stop it, by whatever means necessary. nothing else.

A Good Girl Gone Bad [Baekhyun x Reader] {Part III of III} (FINAL)

Written by: Admin Bambi
Word Count: 5400
Genre: Smut
Summary: It’s been about half a year since that night with Baekhyun. You had moved away for a short time but when you come back… So much has changed… Baekhyun and Jongdae learned how to share for one thing. Contains: BaekChen stuff
>>Part One<< >>Part Two<<
A/N: So sorry this took so long. Also, this will be my last post on this lovely blog TT I’m sorry </3

Keep reading


A Kim Namjoon/Rap Monster Mini-series

Summary: You meet a clumsy guy on the streets of Seoul, and it just so happens that he’s one of the nation’s most well-known idols….and he’s interested in you.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 (Final) Epilogue

Originally posted by taestylips

Chapter 35

‘I’ll see you later, okay baby?’ Namjoon says as he leans against your hotel room doorway- having just dropped you off, his arm wrapped lightly around your waist and his thumb smoothing gently over your lips, as he waits for Taehyung to emerge from Izzy’s room.

'Yeah.’ you murmur, smiling up at him and closing your eyes as he leans towards you, reaching your hand up to hold his neck as you stand on tiptoes to kiss him.

'I’ll meet you at the 'N’ tower…I promise.’ he says quietly against your lips, brushing your hair behind your ear before diving in for another kiss.

'Can we get those spicy fish cakes, afterwards?’ you ask excitedly when he pulls away,  grinning up at him and smoothing your hands over his shoulders and down his chest to help persuade him.

'Of course. We can do anything you want.’ he chuckles, continuing to peck your lips until the sound of the bedroom door opening has him leaning back against the door, sucking air between his teeth as he peers over your head and catches sight of Taehyung.

'Took you long enough.’ he says, shooting a pointed look at the younger boy, who had a small smile on his face as he shuffles quickly over to the shoes in response, hurriedly slipping his on.

'Mmmh, I love you.’ Namjoon mutters, as he turns back to you, smiling shyly until you grin at him and snatch one last kiss from him, pulling him in for a quick hug, which ends up turning into a prolonged warm embrace, before finally letting him go.

'I’ll see you later.’

Part of you doesn’t actually believe that Namjoon will turn up at the 'N’ tower. You’d been listening in to his conversation with Jungkook this morning as they’d discussed the day’s schedule, and with the more jobs and photoshoots and training practises that had been listed, you’d had to remind yourself to just keep calm and to remember that this was his life- even if he couldn’t meet you…it didn’t matter, you’d still wait for him anywhere.

So after spending the day at Seoul zoo with Izzy and going on an open top bus tour of the city, you finally make it to 'N’ tower at 10:30pm.

You couldn’t deny that it was beautiful, being this high up above the city and being able to see every light as they spread out into the distance…it was the most magical sight you’d ever seen.

'Dont you just want to look at it forever?’ Izzy suddenly pipes up beside you, a private smile on her face as she leant against the railing and looked out over the city.

'Seriously, forever.’ you chuckle elbowing her playfully and grinning when she rolls her eyes at you. 

It’s quiet for a few moments as you both just take in the view, but you can sense that there is something that Izzy was building up to say, and the longer she kept silent the more agitated you became, until you finally couldn’t take it anymore.

'Izzy, What-’

'Taehyung’s asked me to stay.’

You stand stunned, simply staring at her as you take in what she had said, your mind working a million miles a minute as you try to process her words, before your brows pull together and you watch her turn towards you with a sigh.

’…and what did you-’

'I said yes.’

Your knees almost give out beneath you when she answers you, all the air in your lungs leaving you in a sudden breath and you have to lean heavily on the railing as your body reacts to this sudden announcement.

'He asked me a few days ago, but I didn’t answer him until earlier just before you came back to the hotel room with Namjoon….I-’

'Why didn’t you tell me?’ you ask, your voice slightly horse where your were still getting over the shock of finding out Izzy was staying in Seoul.

'I-I didn’t know how, Y/N! How am I meant to tell you that i’m staying here, when we promised we’d do our final year of university together? How am I meant to tell anyone that i’ve decided to stay in Seoul because of a boy? I dont-’

'I get it Izzy…believe me I do…’ you cut her off, pulling her into a hug to reassure her you weren’t mad, despite the tears building in your eyes.

'I just…I mean, its not like I didn’t think about you…I just- I kind of thought you’d be staying too! Hasn’t Namjoon said-’

'We haven’t really talked about it.’ you murmur in explanation as she pulls back to look at you, narrowing her reddened eyes at you in suspicion as you turn back to the railing.

'What do you mean by you haven’t ’really’ talked about it?’ she asks, facing you instead of the landscape and you shake your head at her in an attempt to tell her you didn’t want to talk about it, but by the way she continues to watch you, you know you have no choice.

'I keep avoiding the subject…he knows we….I mean, I,’ you correct yourself, glancing at Izzy and seeing her apologetic expression, 'he knows I only have a couple of days left…but I just- I know I have to go back, I haven’t got another choice- I need this degree if I want to do anything with my life…but God…everything in me wants to stay.’ you complain, leaning your head on your arms against the railing and closing your eyes.

'Why dont you just stay here to do the last of your degree then?’ Izzy asks, putting her hand on your shoulder to make you look at her.

'Because  I cant speak Korean like you, Iz! And I’m pretty sure they dont do an international students class in my degree.’ you explain slightly frantically, your emotions beginning to get the better of you as you actually talk through the fact that you cant stay, that even though everything in you wanted to- no matter how much you think through it…it just wasn’t possible. With Izzy quickly pulling you into her as you begin to break down.

And that was when you finally realised, that even if Namjoon didn’t want you to…

…you had to leave him.


Breathless Part 14

Pair : Jensen x Reader

Music “ Hunger by Ross Copperman

A/N: Omg you guys!!! We are one away from the end!! How did this happen?! Are you excited?? 

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14

“Am I too Late J?” You exhaled. Your stomach twisted in to knots, your chest was tight. You were nervous of his answer and the way he looked at you, with soft eyes, and his lips frowning. You knew It wasn’t going to be good.

Jensen took in a deep breath, his lips beginning to quiver. “Y/N-” He paused, with tears flowing down his freckled cheeks.

“Hey sorry but everyone is getting worried, what should i tell them?” Jared muttered.

Jensen glanced over at you, taking your breath away. He flashed a soft smile and let out a long sigh. “I’ll be right there.” He whispered.

Jared nodded and made his way back into the room, leaving you two behind.

“Look, If you would’ve done this a year ago. If you would have realized all of this before I asked Danneel to marry me, I wouldve-” He swallowed hard and tried to clear his throat. “I would’ve dropped everything to be with you.”

The knot in your throat made it unbearable to breathe. You felt like the walls were closing in.

“But you cant.” You forced out.

His eyes were bloodshot, and he hated to see you upset.

With everything going on, You couldn’t believe what you were doing. You were at his wedding for gods sake, practically crashing it. You felt pathetic. Low even, what were you doing?

“I-im so- sorry. I dont know- I’m so sorry.” Your voice was shaking. You turned away and began to walk toward the front door. Your heart was pounding hard, fast as the tears fell uncontrollably down your cheeks.

Never in your life have you ever felt so much pain. Not even the night you lost the baby.

“Y/N!” Jensen croaked.

You ignored his yelp as you forced yourself not to look back. He didnt deserve this. He didnt deserve to be put in this position, especially on his wedding day. Especially when his soon to be wife, waited patiently for him.

But watching you walk away, he couldn’t help but begin to over think his decision.

“Jensen?” A familiar voice rang.

He snapped his gaze. There she was, standing in her dress, looking ever so beautiful. Danneel noticed the tears that had stained his cheeks. She could read him like an open book. He was destroyed.

“Hey, are you okay?” She whispered.

He opened his mouth to speak, but only a soft whimper escaped. She engulfed jensen and pulled him in as closely as she could.

“I’m so sorry. I dont know-”

“Shh, it’s okay. Its going to be okay.” She exhaled.

“I chose you Danneel.” He croaked.

Danneel pulled his face up to hers. Her gaze piercing into him. She flashed a soft smile as she shed a single tear. “No, you didnt J. You chose her.”

Jensen furrowed his brows, and tilted his head to the side. He was baffled at her comment. Not making any sense, until it hit him.

Thats when he realized that through everything, he still loved her. Just by seeing at the end of the aisle, panting like crazy, he remembered how his stomach felt. How his heart felt like it skipped a beat. He remembered hearing you tell him you still loved him. He felt like he was on fire, like a thousand fireworks were going off all around him, just by standing by you.

“I-I have to-”

“I know.” Danneel stammered. “Go get her.”


Your phone lit up as you recieved multiple calls, and texts. From Gen, Jared, even Misha. Seeing if you were okay. You threw your phone, luckily landing on the carpet. You couldn’t handle everything.

Different emotions swirling through you. One moment you were angry, pissed of what just happened, then you were filled with sadness, as you knew no matter what, you were alone. All you could do stare endlessly at the walls. 

You scanned the living room, old memories flooded your mind.

You remember Jensen making your favorite Dish the first night he ever stayed over. You remembered the moment you both stayed up all night, talking about life, laughing as you both walked down memory lane. You remembered feeling so safe in his arms, sitting on the floor by the door as you wept and whimpered into him. You remembered it all, like a movie.

You slid down to the ground, your breathing becoming heavy and fast as you started to cry hard.

“I’m so sorry!” You yelped, pulling your legs into you.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice muttered, making you snap your gaze up.

Jensen closed the door behind him, and made his way to you. “You know, you shouldn’t leave a spare key under your mat anymore. Anyone can just walk in.” He flashed a soft smile.

You furrowed your brows, wiping your tears away. “W-what’re you doing here? Arent you suppose to be exchanging vows right about now?”

“Well, this crazy girl kind of crashed my wedding.” He chuckled.

hearing him laugh, even just for a moment, always made you smile.

“She was going on about how amazing i am and how incredibly handsome I am. I mean, i can see why she crashed the wedding-” He paused, pulling you up to him. “I am pretty damn great.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a soft chuckle. Meeting his gaze, you quickly dropped your lips, remembering the conversation.

“But you couldn’t do it, remember?” You exhaled. “You Dont want me anymore…”

Jensen pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. A shock vibrating through you, as his fingers gently grazed over your cheek.

“I never stopped wanting you.”

Before you could speak, Jensen crashed his lips to yours. Instantly taking your breath away. His hands traveled up your neck, and tangled his hands into your hair, pulling you in. Soft grunts escaped you both as you tasted each other. Savoring every second.

Jensen pressed his head to yours, a smile creeping on your face.

“I love you Y/N.” He whispered.

You glanced into his eyes.

“I love you too J.”

He returned his lips back to yours, lifting your feet off the ground and making his way to your room.

He craved you. Not being able to feel you, touch you, taste you for a year, it drove him crazy. Without realizing it. Clothes were being shed as you entered the room. Having trouble walking with his pants still around his ankles, you both couldnt help but laugh.

“You try carrying someone and getting undress!” He cackled.

You shook your head, chuckling. “Shut up.” You exhaled and pulled his face back to yours.

Jensen finally made his way into your room, and slowly closed the door behind him.

All you could hear was laughter echoing through the apartment. Moans and grunts etching into the walls.

Without notice, Both yours and Jensen’s phones were lit up. Jared calling J as Gen called for you. You both were in your own little worlds.

“Did she answer?” Jared asked, looking at his wife.

She shook her head no and shrugged. “Maybe he isnt there yet?” She croaked.

Jared pursed his lips, squeezing on to the phone in his hand. “I hope not. Come on, we better find him before its too late.”

shenkuchan  asked:

Hey jax, As someone who's being bullied right now I could really use some of your advice. A lot of these folks at school always bring up my faults and it brings me down and i dont know what to do to stop them. Im not buff like you yet so Im not confident but what should I do? They dislike me but i dont know why and I want to not care. help me senpai

Sure man and sorry to hear that and I’ll gladly help. 

With your current situation its mainly insults correct? SO i think the best bet would be to pull a 8- mile and B- Rabbit yourself

Dont know what I mean well watch this clip.

Now I’m not telling you to Rap Battle them….I mean…..unless you got skills like that But just look what Eminem did there.

He acknowledged every one of his Faults and Owned up to them like the boss.

So thats what you gotta do. If you got something that people make fun of and make you feel down about Own it up to it just be like “Yeah that is true but what ya gonna do, thems the breaks i guess” or if people are making fun of you for effing up just be like “Yeah I really suck at this do you mind helping” 

Acknowledging your mistakes and faults takes away SOOOO MUCH of a Bully/Troll/Hater’s power because they want to be the one to get to you and be like “it was so funny to see him spazz” and more than likely if you did acknowledge your faults they’d be befuddled and might not show it and then say “Well you just did my job for me I’m glad you know how much of a worthless crap stain you are” just to get the last word in.  So Dont do do it with Anger, just do it casually and cool. Just like “Yeah I suck here but im trying my best” It takes all the fun away. 

But jax it seems so simple why doesnt everyone do this?

Well the admitting your faults part can mess with a lot of people cause they dont want to face it so when someone hits a sore spot it can be really damaging. Thats why its best to make peace with yourself on something or be like yeah I really fucked up here but im moving forward so you can acknowledge it and have POWER over yourself.

for example

I HAVE A SHIT TOOOOON OF Faults and Reasons why people Could/Should Dislike me or Talk shit or Hate me

So here as an example I’ll give you a few reasons why you could. I want to make this super easy for people if they ever do a Worst of List featuring me xD and some of em may make you want to un-follow but hey I like to keep shit Absolutely Real so lets get to it

Reasons to Dislike JaxBlade :)

I’m Overly Optimistic….like annoyingly so at times. I look at the glass Half Full and my lifes been crappy but I always see the good. A lot of pessimist people I met don’t like me cause they think I’m fake but hey Most of the time this is me appreciating the good times though to lead into my next one.

I can be a tad emo at times.…There are times where i feel like my friends dont like me at all, I’m burden to them and they are just being polite especially if we go long bouts without talking and i feel all alone and depressed and Kinda clingly. Luckily Im working on that day by day

I can be a Bit Cocky and Arrogant at times. I’m proud of my body and like to show it off cause I used to be fat and seeing myself improve eveyday gives me a slight ego boost and I like to show off.

I can be a such an Attention Whore: In so many areas xD especially If I’m at a place I like to be center of attention and take off my shirt to show off even though 

I have mediocre results for a fitness person: I’ve working out since I was 16 and I’ve barely added that much mass to my frame. Speed and Strength have skyrocketed since back then but I’ve been working out Damn near 10 years and my physique honestly isnt that impressive even though I like to gloat

I’m kind of a Perv Not like peeking through windows and stealing womens under-roos but I love women, I love booty and I love breasts. I love the concept of an hour glass woman with curves in all the right places and thats the primary stuff of my Special blog

I can be the Biggest Dick if you’re an Asshole to my friends: when people insult me I gotta thank all those years of bully beatings for giving me tough skin cause i can get on but if someones fucking with a friend of mine or someone close I become like a fuckin supervillain and If they are out of shape and being an ass to my friends I let lose and break their self esteem. Luckily with all the meditation I do now I dont do that as much and focus on my day

I’m indifferent on a lot of things that people get upset over: Like a lot of people can be pissed off and ask me my opinion and Im usually like “yeah that sucks” and they get mad at me cause I’m like Meh. The last time i remember that was that Dear Fat people video that a lot of people bashed and while I personally didnt agree with how she was saying her message as a person who was beaten up and fat shamed and used that as motivation to get in shape. It honestly didnt bother me that much and I didnt think anything of it but a few people got mad at me cause they thought i was promoting fat shaming with my indifference

I’m all for Gay people and their rights: so Some people may call me a “Fag lover” or something cause Im supportive of the gay community BUT i do know something about me. I was at one of my Best friends’ , since we were 14, Wedding 2 years ago he’s gay and been that way since he said he was 12, and I met his husband there and his husband was cool and an awesome dude and I thought they were great. But when they said “Kiss the Bride” I looked away. and I notice I do that a lot when I hang out with my gay friends marcus and kevin and they kiss I just look away. I’m happy that they are happy and in love but seeing two men kiss makes me a lil uncomfortable SO I HAVE to work on myself to be a bit more liberal 

I’m Black: so Racists hate me just cause of the melanin in my skin so theres that

The Brony thing: I used to be a Hardcore brony back in 2011-2012 till I dropped the term and now Im just a casual fan of the show. So Some people can dislike me because I watched it and others call me a poser and fake cause im in my Buddy Racebest’s Bronies React videos but i dont use the term brony for myself anymore since im just a casual fan of the show so theres that. 

I Prefer Dubbed over Subbed anime

I’m kind of a Man whore 

I dont like the Pixar film Up xD and some people have legit told me they hate me for that and unfollowed me

I Quote my Bullying story a Sickening amount for Motivation and Inspiration for people. 

I like seeing Criminals and bad people in general die in horrible ways and think they should be put down for the count instead of imprisoned. 

If its not Fitness, Health, Exercise, Anime, Cartoon, Comic stuff I can be considered borderline retarded at points

I can be Overbearingly Overcaring for people I care about at points

If somethings wrong with me I usually laugh it off and kind of do a Lie of omission if someone asks. So I need to work on being more open to people who care about me 


Thats all I can think of right now But I can disperse more when i think of them. The point is. Make peace with yourself. Realize your faults, Accept them and if you can change them DO IT. But otherwise dont let them bring you down. You’re a tough badass who can’t be brought down. Remember, If they are trying to bring you down it already means you are above them. Hope that helps 

Chapter Three: Just hold my hand, doll.

I’m sorry for my writing today, I’ve slacked the entire day. Next chapter will be more in depth and more detailed. Enjoy! I love to hear feedback on my stories :) x

Warning: slight flirting(??), cursing and talks of experimentation on reader.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky

Word count: 2440

3:47 PM.

I looked at the clock and walked in my room to check on Buck. He was still fast asleep. I shut my door softly and I headed to the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich; turkey and cheese is all I liked. Simple but plain.

Then I heard a loud thrashing in my room. A crash then a bang. I dropped my sandwich and raced to my room. I opened my door and Bucky was standing with his hands against the wall.

“Bucky? Bucky, it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe” I say in my most calm voice. Keeping my hands up so he knows I’m in no means to harm him. He looked at me and his brows at an angry angle. He walked towards me, fast.

“What am I doing here? Where the hell am I?!” He screamed.

“Hey, Bucky. Listen, I don’t want to hurt you. You’re okay here. Let me explain” He kept striding. I finally felt his mechanical hand squeeze my throat. I winced in pain.

“Steve. Steve Rogers, he helped you out. We saved you from HYDRA.” I breathed out.
He looked in confusion and then dropped me, with a loud thud I fell. I gasped for air and looked towards the glass water I grabbed him just earlier that morning. I took a few sips and stood up.

“Rogers. The boy from Brooklyn. I remember, “he’s my friend, isn’t he?” He looked at me. Still processing the information you just handed him.

“I’d say so. A loyal one at that. He train me and few others for a search and rescue mission on the HYDRA base. He never stopped looking for you. When we found you we took you here. This is my place. He didn’t want you around all the info at HQ. It’s overwhelming, I know.” I told him. I watched his facial expressions. He looked down and nodded. I stood up and walked to my doorframe. “The bathroom is down the hall, I recommend a shower. I’m no professional, but I’m making some food soon. If you want some ill tell you when it’s ready.” I was walking out when I heard his somewhat soft voice.

“What’s your name?” He asked, moving his hair from his face.

“Y/N” I told him.

“Who put me here? In bed, I mean.” He looked towards the bed.

“That would be me” I smiled before I walked away, into the kitchen. I decided to make chicken. I got it out and started to prep it before I heard my door open and shut. I figure Bucky was going to take a shower. I stopped him before he reached the bathroom. I went to my room and grabbed some of Steve’s clothes that he left one time after a mission. He crashed on the couch after watching movies to catch up on the modern world. I ran back out and handed Bucky the dark green shirt and black joggers.

“If you want jeans, I can grab you some but I figured you’d rather be comfortable.” You smiled and walked back to the kitchen, you heard a silent thank you before the door shut.

I walked back to the kitchen. Seasoned the chicken and started baking it, then made mashed potatoes because who doesn’t love mashed potatoes? I boiled the potatoes, put butter and mashed them. Then took the chicken out making sure it was done. I set some on a plate for buck, then set it in the microwave and then made my own plate. I wondered what took him so long to get out of the shower. And I went to sit on the couch. Once I finished my food, I took my plate to the kitchen and into the sink when I heard the bathroom door open.

He walked past the kitchen, and into the room. I was taken back, but I let him have his space. I watched some TV and let time tick by. I tried to get some sleep. I shut my eyes and let my mind rest.

6:09 PM

“Y/N. It’s time” Doctor K told me. That’s what he called himself, just Doctor K. He let me off the table and I was brought to a room with a man, who looked 3 times my size.

“Go!” Doc yelled. The next thing I know he’s sprinting at me. It all went slow after that.

“C o n c e n t r a t e!” I heard, I looked at the man and I pictured him stopped. And just like that, he was no longer running. He was completely stopped. Doc was saying something. But I needed to do something. Something raged inside of me. I was angry. I tensed up and the man started being thrown across the room.  

I could only hear my thoughts after that. I was screaming, I couldn’t feel it anymore. I felt nothing. He was being pulled like a doll around the room into walls and into the Doc. I walked back, scared of my own self. I slid down the wall, I didn’t know what I was. What he made me. I covered my ears. I put my bed in my knees and started singing to my self. There’s nothing I could do. I was a monster.

I wake myself up. I was sweating, out of breath. I got up to get some water and I checked the clock.

11:57 PM.

I heard something from my room. I walk to the microwave and I reheated Buck’s dinner. I grabbed it with a fork and walked to the room. I knocked on the door.

“Bucky?” I knocked on more time.

“I. Uhm. I made you dinner, it’ll be here if you want it.” I waited for a second then I set down the plate in front of the door. Then the fork on the plate. I walked back to the living room. I barely heard the door open and I looked over to see the light of my room, I couldn’t help but laugh a bit, but he was seldom and I respected that.

I started watching TV and I called Steve. I hoped he’d be up. It rang and rang.

“This is Rogers.” He answered. I giggled.

“Why aren’t you in bed, old man?” I could hear him laugh.

“I spent 70 years asleep, I’ve had my fair share.”

“Okay, okay. I just wanted to call and update you. Bucky is awake. And he remembers you. He knows you’re his friend. But I think it will take a few days for him to come around.” I told him. I could only imagine the smile on his sweet face.

“That’s alright, I just. Okay, that’s amazing. Thank you for taking care of him. I appreciate this, I owe you one. Other than that, what did you do today?”

We started talking a bit about our days, he talked about how excited he was to catch up. I looked over and Bucky was standing in the hallway frame.

“Hey, I’ll call you back. He’s up” I smiled and hung the phone. He looked very confused. “That was Steve. He’s excited to see you.”

“Can I ask you something?” He moved over and sat down at the end of the couch. I nodded and stood up. I put my hands in my back pockets.

“What can you do?” He asked. Very bluntly, which took me by surprise.

“I. Uh, i dont know what you really mean?”

“At base. I saw you. You took a guy down without touching him.” He asked very intrigued. This was a sensitive topic, I hated to talk about this. Or about me, I general.

“Alright, uhm. Long story short, I was in an accident. A scientist picked me out of the wreckage. I dont know what he did, but he did something right and now I have abilities. I dont know how they work, or what they are quite yet. But Steve needed me during the mission for you, so I went. It was my first time since they found me” I looked down at my feet.

“Im sorry.” He mustered out.

“But are you okay? I mean. Really, this is so much. Is there anything I can do to make you comfortable?” He shook his head. Then got up to walk back in the room.

“Thank you for the dinner. It’s been a while since someone cooked my dinner,” He said softly. Before striding back to the room, “if you hear anything from the room, please just stay out. It’s for the best.” He said cold heartedly, but I wanted to respect his boundaries. He shut the door and I laid down on the couch and fell asleep not long after.

A few days past and it went on like the first did. I hadn’t heard too much noise at night, but I still went to check on him while he slept. I left dinner by the door for him at around 10. And stayed up until about 4. I check the door and Bucky had taken in his dinner in a few hours ago. I looked at the time.

2:38 AM.

I got my book out and started reading. I suddenly heard a loud noise from the room. And I suddenly thought about what Buck said, but I couldn’t let him go alone if he was having a panic attack or something. I ran in and he was throwing pillows, kicking and yelling. I didn’t know what to do. I sat by him and shook him.

“Bucky, hey.” He wouldn’t wake up. I thought of my mom when I used to have these night terrors. She used to put her hand on my head. It was worth a shot. I touched his chest with my left hand, and his fore head with my right one. He somewhat calmed at first, but then after about 10 seconds his features became soft. I sat against the headboard and made sure he stayed in his state of relaxation, on the left side of the bed. I sat on the right. I must’ve dozed off, but when I woke up and looked at the time it was 5:36 AM.

I felt a pressure on my thighs, I looked down to see a head with shaggy dark brown hair resting peacefully on my lap. I looked and couldn’t help but stare his profile. His jawline covered in stubble, I raised my hand and gently moved his hair out of his face. I never seemed to notice his complexion under his angry look. I wondered how he felt here. I grabbed his head and stood up, maneuvering a pillow under his head. I walked out before looking at him for a moment. Then walking to the kitchen to start breakfast.

8:47 AM

I was done with my plate, then I was surprised to see Bucky standing there.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” I smiled.

“Good. How long have you been up?” He questioned.

“I’ve kinda been up throughout the night is all. Some sleep here and there. But I made you a plate. Are you hungry?” He nodded. I grabbed the plate from in the microwave after heating it up. I grabbed him a fork and knife, laid them in front of him.  

“You’re kind. Thank you.” I could barely hear him. He spoke so soft.

I sat next to him at the circle table in my kitchen.

“I want you to know if you’re more comfortable with your friend at headquarters, Steve I mean, I can take you there. I know it’s a small place, and it’s a little hard stay with someone you don’t know.”

“I like it here. And I’m sure HQ doesn’t have food like this. Besides; I like to think you’re my friend, too.” He continued eating. I hesitated but I grabbed the hand he wasn’t using to eat, and gave it a squeeze. Then I got up and grabbed the egg pan and put it in the sink. Bucky got up and stood by me while he dropped the plate in the sink. His stature was much larger than mine. He looked down at me, I could feel it. Then he walked into the living room without a word. I finished dishes and I walked in the room, to see Bucky trying to figure out the TV. I laughed.

“Are you alright there?” He looked at me.

“I. I wanted something. Is that okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course,” I turned the Xbox on and flipped to Netflix. He looked so confused by the whole thing. I went and sat on the couch, “you know you can sit up here, right?”

He got up and walked to the couch, sat his fair distance away.

“Are you alright with a scary movie or a comedy?”

He waited a second, contemplating.


I scrolled through the movies and found a new one with a decent rating. ‘Hush’. I turned it on and it seemed like normal movie when it escalated quick. I heard him sigh.

“Why doesn’t she just shoot him?”

“She can’t hear anything, Bucky.” You giggled at how hostile he could be in a life or death situation. It made you feel a bit protected knowing he was here in case someone some shit like this happened to you.

“But she can see. Aim and shoot.” I guess you could only expect so much from a trained assassin.

We continued watching. I could hear the intense music leading up to something bad. I covered my eyes slightly, getting ready for a jump scare. Bucky looked at me and started laughing.

“What’re you laughing at??”

“I just can’t believe you’re scared of this. What a pure soul” he grinned. He got up, got himself a glass of water and came back right at a frightening part. My body stiffened as I covered my face. Bucky stared at me for a second and proceeded to walk towards the couch, sitting right next to me.

“Just hold my hand, doll” he calmly gestured. His bionic hand was held out for me and I returned the favor by intertwining our fingers. Then laid back against the couch. I brought my free hand up to my face and squeezed the hand Bucky offered to me. Once the scene mellowed, we both seemed to relax.

I heard soft snores, looking up to him passed out. It must’ve been contagious because I could feel my eyes lids getting heavy, as well. With that, I dazed into a sleep. In the arms of The Winter Soldier.

Chapter two is here!