i dont know if i'll ever be able to find the words to express what i feel


Dear Stephanie Hwang Miyoung,

Today it’s your 24th birthday. Happy birthday!

I want to take some time to write this for you. I’ve had the words in my head for a while and now I finally have the chance to let you know how much you mean to me.

I became a SONE early 2012. Finding Girls’ Generation was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t remember what I did before I had Girls’ Generation in my life. All nine of you are angelic goddesses and I couldn’t ask for better role models. To me you are all perfect.

At the end of summer 2012 I started to go into a depressive phase. Not many people know about this. Actually only a couple of people do. But what kept me strong was you. Tiffany, it was you who kept me alive.

There were times where I was close to just giving up on everything and people who know me well enough knew what I was going through. I did stupid things and was close to making a really dumb mistake. But it was the thought of you that kept me strong. I kept thinking to myself that I need to see Tiffany. I need Tiffany in my life. I cannot live without you. I love you so much you make me so happy and I can’t abandon that. In the end I ended up dropping out of university and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. But when I thought about you, you inspired me to follow my dreams. And so I decided to do just that. I picked myself up and started to work harder, because of you. You are truly what makes me feel alive and happy and you make all the negative thoughts disappear. You make everything okay again. You make everything more than okay. You fill this empty void inside me. When I see you everything makes sense in the world.

As of right now I am not depressed and the reason I am still here is you. Tiffany, you are my saviour, my hero, my light, and I will never forget that. You will always mean the world to me. And even now when I get negative thoughts I think of you and you never fail to make me feel better.

When I say that I love you I really mean it. Not in the sense that I would be in love with you. I love you in the sense that you are my idol and my hero and I love you for being you. I love every single thing about you. You are my everything. My beautiful, generous, angelic, cutie patootie Miyoungie. 

As a strong believer in fate, I truly believe that I was meant to be a SONE and your fan.

I owe you everything. And one day I hope to meet you and tell you to your face that I love you. But for now I can only say it online and hope that you will see it.

Stephanie Hwang Miyoung, I love you, and thank you for everything. Happy birthday angel, please never ever change. All the best for the forthcoming years. ♥