i dont know how to tag this piece of shit help

OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

kevin and neil headcanons because i dont see nearly enough for them

☆neil: what is ‘dabbing’ kevin: absolutely not
☆kevin has to chop vegetables into tiny pieces and sneak them into neils dinners because his eating habits are shit
☆they go grocery shopping together and neil keeps putting junk food in the cart and kevin keeps shoving it back onto random shelves with varying levels of rage
☆neil: do i even weigh anything to you? kevin, holding him a foot off the ground: no. its like holding a bag of grapes
☆whack each other w their exy racquets when they get too Extra during practice
☆scary movie ride or die fans
☆kevin curls up and watches through his fingers and neil punches kevins leg when a jumpscare gets him
☆kevin: *mentions anyone who has even slightly inconvenienced him* neil: you should kill them
☆kevin can always sense neils bullshit and he will, inevitably and invariably, be able to tell when neil is doing Something Stupid
☆neil photobombs kevins interviews at/after games ALL THE TIME
☆kevin: it was a tough game but our hard work paid off
☆neil: in the background wearing 3 pairs of sunglasses and dumping an entire gatorade over his head while maintaining eye contact with the camera
☆neil can suplex kevin
☆they are savage at dragging like god help whoever brings down their Roasting Session upon themselves bc they will taste the wrath of a god
☆neil makes a game of how many outlandish claims he can make and still have kevin believe him
☆neil: did you know i once spent a week in australia and had to eat nothing but jellyfish and twinkies to survive
☆kevin, wide eyed and scandalized: how are you alive
☆neil WILL pick a fight in a fast food restaurant and kevin has to bail him out
☆kevin listens to 80s pop music when he works out and neil finds out. neil Finds Out.
☆neil plays 21 loops of tom jones’ ‘whats new pussycat’ and kevin tells him to put in 1 ‘its not unusual’
☆kevin will send neil a million texts until he gets a response. like in a row, in the span of 15 seconds buzz buzz bitch where are you
☆neil watches chopped and kevin loses his mind because neil will drag a contestant for mixing caviar with peppers while at the same time eating like mac n cheese with nutella
☆they get too into laser tag and get kicked out

thanks i love them

Dancing On My Own: Part 1

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader / Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Language, Drinking, and Angst

Word Count: 637

Summary: Bucky Barnes never imagined himself falling in love with anyone, especially his best friend’s girl. While he had harbored secret feelings for you over the last few years he had always told himself if it was meant to happen it would. You were one of his closest friends, and the thought of losing you because of his own feelings paralyzed him. He hadn’t planned on Steve building up the sudden courage to ask you out on a casual date. Even as your relationship with Steve progressed Bucky held out hope that you would realize Steve wasn’t the man for you. Of course his plans were shot to hell when Steve decided to surprise everyone and propose to you on your birthday. Had he missed his shot, or would he be willing to risk both of his closest friendships in hopes of winning your heart?

Author’s Notes: This story came to me in bits and piece as I listened to “Dancing on My Own.” Everyone knows I’m a sucker for angst.

I love hearing from all of you! Please let me know if you would like to be tagged/removed.

Originally posted by trandafirr

Originally posted by kissesfrom--paris

Bucky sighed to himself as he turned back to the bar. He couldn’t continue to watch Steve twirling you on the dance floor – or the way you looked at Steve as you smiled brightly at him. He felt sick to his stomach with jealousy. He drained his glass of scotch and grimaced as he internally chastised himself for thinking of his best friend’s girl.

“I told you – you should have said something to her years ago,” Nat’s voice rang out beside him.

“Easier said than done,” he muttered miserably as he turned to look at the spectacle yet again. Steve had thrown you a surprise birthday party with all of your closest friends, and you were having the time of your life. “I just…” Bucky stopped himself before he could finish his sentence. It was bad enough to think it – he couldn’t bring himself to say it too.

“I know,” Nat replied softly with a sad smile as she placed her hand over Bucky’s. She had been the only person he had confided his feelings to when he was no longer able to keep them to himself. Of course he should have just manned up and told you to begin with. Maybe if he had done so he would be the one dancing with you and not Steve. Bucky groaned as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Come on Barnes,” Nat replied as she grabbed ahold of his hand.

“Where are we going?” he asked puzzled.

“I’m taking you dancing,” she replied with a grin as he reluctantly followed her to the dance floor.


You were having the time of your life as Steve twirled you around. “Okay, stop stop!” You squealed, completely out of breath, as he brought your body close to his. “Some of us aren’t super soldiers!” you laughed as Steve chuckled. “Where’s Bucky?” you asked concerned as you scanned the dance floor.

“Over there with Nat,” Steve responded as he threw his chin in the direction of his best friend, who was laughing as he twirled Nat around. You felt a sudden pang of jealousy that you quickly swallowed down. You reasoned with yourself that you were just being protective of your best friend.

“How long has that been going on?” You asked – not masking your annoyance as well as you had hoped.

Steve laughed. “Buck’s a grown man – he can take care of himself Y/N. I assure you,” he responded as he squeezed you tightly to him.

You had been with Steve for over a year now, and most of it had been great. He was always the gentleman, and always went out of his way to go the extra mile. He was quite the fan of grand romantic gestures – which you appreciated. However, even with how great Steve had been you couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. You had been trying to bury that nagging feeling desperately – how could something be missing when you were dating Captain America? There was just no way. Nevertheless, you were completely shocked when the music stopped, and Steve went down on one knee to the gasps of your friends.


Bucky froze at the sight of Steve lowering himself. “This cannot be fucking happening,” he muttered as Natasha crashed into him with an audible “Hey!”

“Oh shit,” Nat whispered as she followed Bucky’s gaze.

More than anything Bucky wanted to disappear. He couldn’t believe what was unfolding before him as Steve fished out a small box from his pocket and opened it to the oooohs and ahhhs of the crowd. Bucky’s eyes met yours and he swallowed hard. For a split second he noticed that your eyes seemed glazed over with fear – not excitement like those around you, and he silently prayed that the next words out of your mouth would be “No.”

Part Two


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Muse - “Something Sweet”

hi guys!!! this is gonna be a new series i’m starting ( if you’re into it )

what??? a lin fic with an in the heights reference for the title?? groundbreaking am i right

i’ve never written before (wish me luck) and I know i’m very very very very new here but please gimme a moment of ur time and we can see how things go !!

summary: all nighters take a toll on everyone, but who knows? maybe a cup of cheap coffee really can fix everything

word count: 1186

warnings: if you think a cute & stuttering young lin is gonna make ur heart feel too big for your rib cage then maybe this isn’t 4 u? also if you hate dumb grins, you should see urself out

Keep reading

honestly @u fu

I’m so fucking pissed.

I worked a 7hr retail shift today at a fucking shoe store.

At 5min till closing our manager closes 3 out of 4 of our doors, and dims the light to signal people to leave.

At 3min till close FOUR groups of people waltzed right in. Like did you not get the hint when THREE doors were locked, the lights were half out, and my manager was standing right at the door with her keys ??

Three of the groups left real quick after being told we closed in two minutes.

When we did close I had to go over to this lady and her daughter and tell them to very politely SCRAM and get the fuck out. She’s like okok in a pissy voice and went up to the register to pay. I’m like w/e and go to check her out so we can close but right AFTER i total everything and i tell her, her damage she sends her daughter to go look at our H U G E wall of stockings bc ‘hey dont u need stockings for school’ = the first ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

I very politely glare at her and i’m like are you all set? in my firm i’m annoyed as fuck but i kinda don’t wanna loose my job voice and the mom is like can u help her find her size. mind u our stocking wall has over 15 brands of stockings, approx like 25 colors of stockings and some colors have like 10 shades, and like 75 different styles. it’s a huge fucking stocking wall. = the second ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

(read: this is now 9 minutes after close on christmas eve)

so i go over and i’m like wtf do u want in my polite voice and she’s like this in this size so i’m like ok and literally find it in 2 minutes when she couldn’t find it in like 5

so we go back to the register and the mom snatches it and is literally like FUCK NO in russian and tries to have this discussion about how stupid i am that i got the wrong tights but fuck them I’m Ukrainian and can understand everything they say :’’’’’’’’’’’’) good thing i didn’t have my name tag on bc they would have known hahahaha = the third are you FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

so they’re arguing and i’m like is this it? and the mom turns and goes STOP BEING SO RUDE AND RUSHING US and i give her the tilted head snarl face an I’m like we closed 15 minutes ago

(read: this is now like 15 minutes after closing time)

so they’re standing there arguing in russian about me and the socks and my manager finally gets po’d enough that she comes over and is like can i help you find anything we have been closed for 15 minutes and i need to close the store. and the lady starts to say something changes her mind mid sentances and then goes THIS IS THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE I’VE EVER EXPERIENCE AND IT’S CHRISTMAS. YOU’D THINK YOU COULD NICELY HELP ME ON CHRISTMAS, IT’S YOUR job. =read fourth are you FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

 My manager literally stares at her and finally goes we closed 17 minutes ago. We’re are now working on our own time and we want to go home to spend time with our families on the holiday. This lady literally glares at her and goes but you’re here, what is the difference if I shop here until you leave or not. You are getting my money if I stay = read fifth are you FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

anyway long story short she finally pays for her shoes and some tights her daughter picked out while her mom yelled at us…. and tbh i should have bit my tongue but as she was grabbing her bag handles I told the lady that our website is open 24/7 with the same price as if she would order the shoes in store (aka what she wanted to do, but dry anal fuck me if I was going to ring her in-store purchase and THEN open up the online ordering system and order her shoes for her (a 5~ minute process) 35 minutes after our store closed) or she could come back at 9am Monday when we reopen in Ukrainian but the fucking look on that bitch’s face was priceless  because in that moment she knew that i knew every piece of shit she just talked about me right in front of my face. 

anyway^2 moral of the story is DON’T BE A DOUCHE AND LEAVE WHEN STORES CLOSE

moral 2 of the story is DON’T BE A DOUCHE AND TALK SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE LITERALLY LOOKING RIGHT AT THEIR FACE IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE BC U THINK THAT THEY CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU. YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW WHO A STRANGER IS.

anonymous asked:

So I've been looking at the tumblr lifting community's posts for awhile now and I'm obsessed and amazed; I've never lifted before but I really want to it looks so fun and I want free cute shit, but I'm so so scared!! How do I get over that and what/where would you recommend lifting for my very first time ever? Any tips or advice? I worship y'all 🙏🏼

oooookay lil nugget here we go.

first off - its okay to be scared. its actually better if you keep a little piece of you thats always scared, no matter if you’re experienced or a beginner. thats something that helps you keep track of what’s going on around you and helps you not get caught. when you get cocky or over confident, thats when trouble starts.

i cannot stress how important it is to start small.
start small.
start sosososososo small.
smol

like a lipgloss from walmart or one plain shirt from old navy. maybe a lil pack of beads from hobby lobby. whatever you do, do it small.

this lowers the chance of you getting caught, and the chance of you freaking out more.

do this a couple times. lil thing here, lil thing there. this builds confidence. the more confident you are with yourself, the more likely you are to start pulling in bigger hauls.

be patient. dont rush anything. this is by no means a competition. this whole process of confidence-gaining takes weeks, maybe months for some people.

and another thing - the majority of us on here that are pulling in a shit ton of stuff? we’ve been doing this for years. ive been lifting for 3/almost 4 years now. do not feel like you have to hurry and catch up to us.

secondly -do your homework. read through people’s tip pages on here. read about hooks, magnets, detachers, keys, all the different types of security tags, concealment methods, horror stories - ANYTHING. everything will be helpful down the road. read up on how other people got caught so you dont make the same mistakes. read up on how that girl managed to bag 3 naked palettes and 15 Kat Von D liquid lipsticks. learn about cam placement and how JCP Sephora is a place to stay away from. learn SA behavior and how to tell if they are being nice or plain sus. Learn how to tell if a bag is going to be a good lifting partner or if its going to be a hassle getting things inside. get familiar with every aspect of this community. follow as many people as you can. get inspiration from everyone. learn this life. live it. breathe it.

thirdly - try and pair up with an experienced buddy. i have found this to be so helpful. you get to see first hand how they do what they do. you get to see them in action, and learn their methods. however, know that going out with more than 2 other people is sure to get you noticed and tailed. keep the lil lifting group to either a pair or 3 people. make sure you can trust them. make sure you know them.

STORES:
Old Navy: they dont tag anything other than heavy coats and sweaters, some dresses, jeans, and in the summer some shorts. i re-vamped my whole wardrobe this summer courtesy of ON, but ive seen on here that they’ve started source tagging…. which makes me sad. so double check before you out anything into your bag.
Hobby Lobby: there are like 7 cams per store all focused on the cashiers. go crazy. get your much needed art supplies. this is a great store for beginners - and other lifters who love crafting.
Cotton On: nothing, and i mean NOTHING is tagged. idk why, but these hoes never tag anything and it makes me wonder what they’re even doing. i got christmas gifts for my brothers here this year, so i highly recommend this store. super easy.
Dillard’s: do not let the large size of the store intimidate you - this place is heaven. sometimes you’ll get lucky and somethings been left off the rack and untagged. sometimes theres that teally cute wallet that you’ve wanted for a while and it doesnt have a single tag on it. go for it. conceal in the dressing rooms. trust me. formal dresses? no tags. (from what ive seen, and ive been to 3 Dillard’s in 2 different cities.) their desinger jewelrythat they keep down there? go for it. none of its source tagged or anything. i walked out once with 5 pairs of mate spade earrings and 2 wallets worth the 100 each. just pay attention to your surroundings and you’ll do just fine.

TIPS:
- in the winter its cold as dicks, so wear sweaters. utilize these babies for all they’re worth. 1. sleeves are great for concealing small items like jewelry and lipsticks. 2. “i am so hot from all this shopping, is it okay if i have one of your bags to carry my sweater in? i would really appreciate it” (note: this only works with really nice SAs. some will be bitches and shut you down. you might have to try a couple of stores before you get one. and now you have a free shopping bag!) 3. put your purse in the crook of your elbow and drape your sweater over it. this helps conceal how big your purse is to begin with and hide how much its increased in size when you’re walking out. 4. idk they’re warm and fuzzy. they make me happy.
- boots: stick things in there in case you forgot your purse or something. you can stick small things like jewelry and face masks down in there, its great.
- go through your mom’s closet. or your aunt’s. grandmother’s. rich best friend, i dont care. more often than not, they have a couple of extra shopping bags from stores they’ve been too. my mom has Bath and Body Works for days, along with a couple of Coach bags and Ralph Lauren. these shopper bags can be used in the same way as a purse for hiding things in them. hide them in yoir bag on the way into a mall, and then in the bathroom, take out your lifted clothing and stuff one of the bags. that way, when you walk into other stores, the SAs think you’ve bought things from other stores. be careful and know the layout of the mall you’re in though, because if you’re carrying around an Urban Outfitters bag and theres no UO, then you’ve gone and fucked yourself.
- be cautious, be wary, and not get greedy. get in, get out, and live to lift another day.

hope you’ll find some use for all this nonsense, good luck on starting your hobby of lifting and i hope to see some beautiful hauls from you guys!

Love Your Writer Day!

Day 5! Give it up for day five of the SnK no hate awareness week by @snkartists! Once again, I’m making a list for all the beautiful writers I know in this fandom, whether they make fics, drabbles, headcanons or meta, we all write and today is the day we are celebrated! THIS IS A LONG POST, PLEASE BARE WITH ME LMAO. Here I go:

@shulkie( @perksofbeingawaifu): Okay, I’ve always loved your fics and we just recently started talking but like you’re so great??? I love you??? You’re extremely nice and really funny, and your fics are Grade A+++, “Halocline” may be ending but your talent isn’t and honestly??? Honestly??? Shulkie you’re a blessing to us all, thank you for existing and putting up with me on discord pfft.

@erensjaegerbombs: Heidiiiiii, you’re so great??? I sob?????? You not only write, “The bartender is A+ by the way, but you beta, do awesome edits, make meta and headcanons and… you are so nice?? One of the best bloggers in our fandom, we truly don’t deserve her help me

@perfectfearsomebeauty: Okay… Amy.. Amy… Amy, my love I?? You’re wonderful and your headcanons are amazing. You’re nsfw headcanons always have me gasping for air but your sad headcanons fuck with me in the best way? Amazing person right here

@corporalmizuki: STELLA, girl. Okay, her fics are?? Beautiful, like.. she has the best characterizations and ideas, like.. beautiful beautiful ideas??? Help me I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

@ereri( @aurieackerman): I’m crying, she’s a blessing to us all?????? She always has the best metas and answers all her asks with class and kindness. Like, she just walked into the fandom, threw some magic and rose petals around and had me fucking swoon, like??? A literal sweetheart and she just joined discord and is someone I would really like to talk to, beautiful person right here I sob, what did we do to deserve????? Nothing, that’s it, I cry thank you for existing.

@eren–gayger: I’m crying, BERRY, my beautiful strawberry, beautiful person, you’re so sweet and all you’re fics are????? That mechanic Levi I wanted to cry was so so good like… yes. You’re precious thank you

@erenbaegerr: Nada, Noddie, hun, you bless me like??? Beautiful person you are like how. Great fics, great fic ideas, beautiful contributions like??? What did we do to deserve this angel, A+ Bagel right here, thank you for being among us.

@synstruck: I sob?? Syn is really cool, he was on my list yesterday too! Because his art is amazing that’s why. He writes, under the same url on ao3, also I recently found out he wrote one of my fave ereri fics, called “ten kisses” and like?????? Omg?? Amazing, he’s amazing, his talents are amazing, he does amazing and I think I just broke, what are words.

@spacebumblebees( @morebeesthanyoucouldimagine): Kayuuu, you’re so great, they are so great tbh?? They write and draw as well, another extremely talented bean. Sweet like honey and they are just wonderful, as well as their fics I sob. Go check them out please, just please, go, shoo, they are so great I cry.

@icecat45: WHAT ARE WORDS????? They go by the same url on ao3, they wrote this fic called “To trust an alpha”, it’s an a/b/o fic BUT LIKE????? It’s amazing??? Is2g it breaks all usual tropes that you see in abo and the fic is 100% cute, fluffy and best part all consensual, and they have the best fic ideas and when we talk I just feel so blessed like? They like talking to me? Me? Oh hunny, blessed.

@sciencefictioness: I???? They go by the same url on ao3, they write “Lunacy” and rip me to pieces it’s so good???? Like what.. how.. they also wrote “Red Heat” and like ever? Best person ever tbh, they are extremely talented and tbh we don’t deserve them, ahhh

@agent-2-6: CHEZZA, my guaco.. my chezire.. amazing???? She writes so many good fics and she also cosplays because she’s talented like that. When I see her on the chat, I always smile because?? So cute and sweet?? Yet also full of smut I can’t with her, she’s the best. She’s A26 on ao3 go check her out, also she started “ The Great EreRi Melon Discourse of 2k17” lmao, Chezza 🍈 it’s a honeydew

@dont–you–heichou–me: Chris, Christian, boy, he’s great tbh??? He has also the best headcanons and he’s really fun to talk to, like omg help, his ao3 is Christian_Rose_99384 and he makes the best ideas??? He’s amazing please check him out

@pinkheichou: LIN, SWEETHEART, ?????? Best person ever??? YOU RARE PAIR FIEND, I’m kidding more like friend, you’re so lovely???? Best fic ideas tbh, got a rare pair? P sure they ship it, like… the best, just best, you’re the best Lin

@gray-x-natsus-matching-hip-scars: I cry they write so good???? Best writing?? I weep, they have amazing headcanons and the ereris.. the soft, tender, beautiful ereris, I cry thank you for writing such beauty

@raindrop-rouge: addwjcdhdeiedbddwksn what are words??? I don’t know her?? Is it a food?? I’m kidding but BOY, beautiful writer over here blessing the fandom more and more each day??? I don’t know how they do it but they do??? Like exsqueeze me?? Same url on ao3 and I’m sorry I CAN’T pick a fav all the fics are so lovely??? Thank you for existing, wtf are words, thank you ahhhh

@sugarplum-senpai: best canon verse fics ever I weep??? I love canonverse and they fill all my needs for Canon fics??? Beautiful canon ereris???? It’s so great?? I wanna cry, also they are a sweetheart like.. best person tbh???? We need more people like them in the fandom ahhhh

@raefill: RAE, Rae is so great, great person, great writing, great to talk to, the epitome of greatness like slay my life already will you? I don’t deserve such goodness

@milleandra-nebula: I’m cryinf, okay, best fics.. I’ve followed them for so long I forgot what made me follow but I’m constantly blessed??? Best decision ever, their fics are soo good. Whenever I see something written by them on my dash I wanna keyboard smash in the tags, I’m a mess and all those beautiful people keep enabling me to be so ah

@im-eren-jaeger-sexual: I saw a fic by them on my dash and????? Omg?????? Yes, I had to follow, and so should you. CUTE PERSON ALERT, this is not a drill, cute person plus great fics equal one hell of a time!?? Thank you for existing ah

@mongoose-bite: crunchy is… he’s a blessing??? I’ve followed him for so long and he’s so chill, his works are amazing??? Seriously he when he writes

@monsoondownpour: Three words. Beautiful. Amazing. Ethereal???? Her ao3 is just monsoon and she??? Wrote “street brat” I die??? That fic watered my crops and fed my five children??? It saved my marriage and brought my country out of a drought???? Bless her I cry, I cry so hard, where are my tissues

@bfketh: How long have we been blessed with them???? The world may never know, they are beautiful, with beautiful fics and ideas. Like.. how?? Yeah idk either but I’m crying lord help

@fuzzyporcupine: I’m dead, I’m ghost typing this, but I’m blessed, they are thespazzbot on ao3 and wrote “what’s eating you” and “be good for me” two beautiful fics??? Great writer I just don’t understand, great person too, help

@cinnamonskull: DILF EREN, good shit????? Beautiful writer, things just.. flow??? Like I don’t know how to form my thanks but they seem amazing, with amazing fics and prose, beautiful just beautiful

@wishingsebastianstanwasmyman: BEAUTIFUL, JUST BEAUTIFUL, their fics are????? Amazing?????????? Can I just keep adding question marks??? Because I don’t know how they do it??? Omg their ao3 is the same and all their fics are amazing???? I’m dying go read them all, do a binge read, put them on read later, bookmark all the fics I don’t care just read their fics plz

@dallyingdivergent: Gaby is so amazing like?? I recently read one of her fics and I had to read it again, I felt so blessed, help me, plus she’s a total sweetheart I just.. I cry, that’s what I do, I cry, ty Gaby

@kahleniel: Kahl is great like?,??? Same url on ao3, her fics will end you, and you will cry and be happy they did. They are so sweet tbh like it’s not fair just.. such a well rounded person with amazing writes, I cry

@glassesgirl0401: Frau! Ahhh, I cry, her ao3 is Arlene0401 and you need of go look at it right now, no excuses, it’s all great, she great too, what more could you want ahhh

@captain-cleanliness: guy… GUY, he is???? Himself??? I can say that much, he is guy and guy is unique. All he does is write smut pfft, now I’m just kidding but he’s so great???? His headcanons are amazing like omg, he’s the best ahh

@mastia: cutest ereri fics I weep, like why and how and what???? I can’t form phrases like a person, but this person is beautiful I weep

@mikannnie: Cas is great, beautiful headcanons and loves yumikuri and the Warriors alike. Like.. really good headcanons, go check out their blog, beautiful I tell you!!

@foreverautumnblog: CAN I CRY???? IS IT ALLOWED? I love her fics sooo????? Much????? I cry, she’s Foreverautumn on ao3 and she’s written the EreRi fic “half light”??? Amazing, I loved that fic but, /but/ she wrote “words are trivial” and??????? Do you know how much that fic blessed me??????? Do any of you??? No???? Well it blessed the living fuck outta me like dear sweet baby Jesus, I???? It’s amazing beautiful fic??? I’m cryinf help me, also she’s so sweet and funny and we don’t deserve her, thank you for existing as well, you are a blessing to all your fandoms

@julystorms: what are words. Great meta!!! Like is2g all their meta has me weak, like… they interpret everything so beautifully, I agree with them so much???? Great person, awesome meta, you can’t go wrong, I screm

@dirtylevi: Beauuuutifffffulllll person. Like Grade A plus plus meta and answers, their blog reminds me of target, I go ifor one thing and come out blessed af. Like bless them, just donit, and go follow, I cry

@l-e-v-i-ackerman: HE IS GREAT. He is loveatfirstsight one ao3 and he wrote “3am” like?????? That fic was the shit??? He’s grest,funny and really grey, amazing headcanons, treasured blogger, what did we do to deserve

@crying-abt-fictional-people: WORDS, writer, this person?????? Great tbh?? Hey are elliewritesthings on ao3 and ???? Omg they wrote “show me how much you love me” and i?? I have no words?? Plz go read it it’s A+ ereri goodness I weep, an Angel I tell you

@baegerbombtastic: Best BEST, like??? They are driedupwishes on ao3 and like???? They have the best fics, omg they wrote “summertime and butterflies all belong to your creation” and… it’s so cute??? Like I read I once and I had to go to the dentist because it gave me a shit ton of cavities??? Like what.. what.. thank you for existing I’m deceased

@appleapplepeach: I cry, OKAY okay… they are appleapple on ao3 and they make the best fics???? Like I love. They wrote the EreRi fic “Grounded” I loveeee that fic???? It’s so amazing like shit, shit shit, some good shit, it’s beau, please check out their works, I’m crying as I type, beautiful

@assistent-official: BLESS YOU?????? I’m constantly graced with long thought out headcanons on my dash and I love them all??? Bless don’t ever stop being amazing with your amazing headcanons

@nutella-and-ereri: Best blogger right here, like all her headcanons bless me?? Like how can you agree with someone so much.. just omg, plus a really see the person, we are unworthy. You are great yo

@margri3t: They are a cute, a living cute, same url on ao3 and they have cute fics?? Please go check them out, I’m swooning

End of my long ass list and like… all those people are just *shakes fist* so lovely??? Our writers are just so talented, we don’t deserve them I cry so hard, thank you for being you and this blogger love yall and hopes you get all the respect you deserve!!!! 💕❤😇

“Fight Me”

“Fight Me” - One Shot

Bruce Wayne x Reader

My Full Masterlist - Here

Word Count: 1509

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Your Last Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Reader lives with her long time friend, Bruce, and Alfred. After a particularly hard day, the reader has a bit of a meltdown and Bruce helps.

Originally posted by gothamfox

Author’s Note: Welcome to my first Bruce Wayne x Reader fic. I don’t usually read or write for this character, but this idea popped into my head and I ran with it. I am pleased with it and feel good writing it. Writing is therapeutic for me.

This is my interpretation of the characters and the reader is one of my own creation. I leave the names and such open so you can put your own name and features in or you can create your own. I know this may not please everyone, but I’m writing this for myself. I hope people will enjoy this fanfic, but I know that you can’t please everyone.

If you would like to be tagged in any future pieces, please let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

DreaSaurusREX

Tags (If you want to be removed, please let me know!): @luciebell-writes , @welcome-to-cobblepothell 



    You were in college to originally follow your family’s footsteps and become a doctor. After one semester of the required classes for you major, you couldn’t handle it. Deciding to follow your true passion, you changed your major to fashion and costume design. As soon as your parents heard about this, they cut you off. You already had a kind of strained relationship with your parents. They didn’t accept a lot of your choices or respect your opinions. Apparently this was the breaking point for them.

    Thank god for your best friend. While you insisted that you were okay and didn’t want to be an inconvenience, Bruce Wayne assured you that you were not a problem and practically moved you in as soon as he heard the situation. Not only did Bruce want you to move in after what happened, Alfred insisted.

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anonymous asked:

1/2 hear me out imagine richie realising he likes stan but not knowing what to do cos "wait my nickname is literally trashmouth and stans a mythical creature not from this planet im not entirely sure how to go about this" he goes to ben for help and ben reckons poems are definitely the way to go. so they write one together and richie leaves it in stans locker. lunch time rolls around and stan is smiling huge and richie thinks "yup this is it i did it"

2/2 dont think it sent before but here it is if i remember it well! stan goes to ben instead, smile wide, hugs him and says “you write the most thoughtful things, bevs a lucky girl” and richie is speechless cos 1) whatta smile and 2)that should be his??? stan turns and gives richie a polite nod and talks to bill before ben can correct him. richie doesnt know whether he should laugh or cry and ben agrees. but he wont give up! hes still got his flowers that ben thinks can fix things up…hopefully


I love this prompt so much anon thank you so much for sending it! I hope you dont mind me posting in two parts (part two will be up at some point this week) I hope you enjoy!!! (All feedback is encouraged and if anyone wants to be tagged in p2 let me know cause why the heck not)

Part 1 / Part 2


“Stop distracting me trashmouth”

“Ah c’mon Stan the Man you know you love it really! Who the fuck wants to spend their Friday night studying anyway?”

Richie and Stan were hauled up in Stan’s room, Stan at his desk, nose in a book trying to prepare for the history test they had next week, while Richie hung upside down on the bed, glasses slipping off his face, throwing little pieces of paper in Stan’s general direction. Yes he was annoying. No he didn’t care.

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Taekook Fic Recs

Thought I’d do an updated one because I literally have 100 fics in my bookmarks on AO3. I seriously spent my entire summer just reading. :’) Obvi, i’m not gonna add all 100, maybe like 30 or something though.



1. Lupus Tales by kpopismydrug

-three amazing works so far (Lupi, Just Us, Us vs Them) and more to come

-201k words of pure adorableness 

-whipped and pining jungkook!!!!!!!

-college student taehyung!

-slow build so it’s not too rushed. totally worth it.

2. i’ll be a man (of you, you, you babe) by monsterplaza

-university au!

-blind dates that jungkook doesn’t wanna go on and taehyung hilariously saving jungkook each time

-funny af bUT THE SMUT THOOOOO

-literally the smut it topnotch

-18.9k words

3. Maybe we can be (each other’s company) by foolishbangtan

-fanboy taehyung!! and idol jungkook!1

-taetae is an art student and hnnngggg

-fluff!fluff!fluff!fluff!

-57k words

4. Taste of Ink by sugamins

-gang au!!

-sugakookie are bff goals aswell as vmin

-taehyung is literally harley quinn/joker in this. fight me if you don’t agree.

-128k words

5. House of Cards by sugamins

-wouldn’t recommend if you don’t like violence bc it’s rlly detailed w/ the gore

-also don’t read if you dont like vminkook together. (it was hard for me to read the jikook and vmin parts but i survived yall)

-made me wtf a lot

-just yes

-394k words (it took me a whole day to read it and i got no sleep)

6. you’re the closest to heaven i’ll ever be by aeterisks

-smut smut smut smut smut. literally a-level smut i cANNOT

-DJ JUNGKOOK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-RICH club owner taehyUNG

-pls help this was so gOOD

-27.7k words

7. talking body by aeterisks

-porn

-mirror SeX!!!!!

-yesyesyesyes and yes

-4.9k words

8. cut out all the ropes (let them fall) by aeterisks

-model!tae and photographer!jeon

-they hate each other but then :-))))

-so fluffy and the porn is 10/10

-angst had me shook

-76.7k words

9. Whatta Man (Good Man) by aeterisks

-if u couldn’t tell already i’m lowkey promoting raquel’s works

-shy jeon turns out to be a horny little shit that runs a porn blog

-whipped for tae

-no sex but still porn. always porn.

-7.8k words

10. all the right wrongs by aeterisks

-READ 

-PLEASE DO IT’S AMAZING I’M ACTUALLY SHOOK

-TIME TRAVEL AU !!!!!!

-JEON WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE TAE HAVE A HAPPY LIFE :((

-it’s so cute i cried

-34k words

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Tarnished Gold: Part 2

Notes: Swearing, SMUT! Hopefully its good? sorry for the long wait! i had so many messages and tags! ahha.

Tags (PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, there was alot! hopefully I got everyone!) :

@to-be-a-sunshine @professional-fandoms @marvelfanuniverse

@pottersassy @anitavalija @alejandra1358 @loozer1213 @jbbarnestrash

@mrs-lamezec @laurenxyz @letsrunwithdream @sexyvixen7

@iliketoeatsoapsandgoats @c-x-v-h-iii  @angstybuckybarnes @kittyscarleet @starstar1012@sebastiansbarnesandchrisrogers @theteacupprinciple

@thundergrande @minaphobia @han35 @see-you-around-red 

@animeroses318 @moody-fangirl @hoepalace @piercethemelendez 

@drunkwordsss @spn-worm @whenlucasmetmaya @peice-of-whoops 

@harry-sings-to-louis  @korilb @buckysteetime @enchantedsanity 

@trillest-natalia @needshisbones @jadedhillon-blog 

@breakingsupernaturlbad101 @paullllrudd 

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Don’t Break So Easy [Hardy Boyz x Fem!Reader] PART 1

PART 2 : http://it-is-reigning-men.tumblr.com/post/162954732656/dont-break-so-easy-hardy-boyz-x-femreader-part

Summary: Takes place just a while after Matt and Lita’s breakup, sometime in 2006. Y/N has been best buds with the Hardys for years - back before any of you had made it big in the wrestling business and since then you’d made it into several storylines together. Typically, you were simply the backstage supporter of the bunch, not officially part of Team Xtreme yet an undeniable, fan favorite piece to their puzzle; occasionally you teased the crowd and got a little flirtatious with Jeff, since before recent Matt was happily taken by Lita. When Lita breaks Matt’s heart your feelings toward the boys take a major shift that ends with you convincing Jeff of what the best option to comforting the older Hardy might be.

Type: Fluff & Smut! Part 1 Only has implied smut, Part 2 will hold the rest.

Warnings: Nothing really? Poly Relationship (Obviously) and some shade at a few wrestlers for story purposes (not how I necessarily feel about other cameo wrestlers or anything lol) 


TAGS: @easyobsession​ , @vsturgeon5489​ , @wrestlingnoob​ , @womderland-fandom​ , @lost-in-the-stories​ , @brieemode02​ , @nickie-amore​ , @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues , @roguecheneyisbae​ , @fucking-bandsx​ , @c-taylor​, @hardyslynch​ , @jordynmichealsx​ , @velyssaraptor

[Decided to break up my intended one shot story into a couple parts because it’s actually longer than I expected! Hope you don’t mind and I hope you enjoy. I have more written than this so the ending is near btw - lemme know what you all think so far tho!]


“What are you gonna do with that stupid cut out, Matty?”

“Burn it. Ya should burn it out back so we can start a bonfire.” Jeff’s voice cut in from a slight distance, as he was flopped over the length of one of the living room couches.

You threw him an amused look in a sideways glance before focusing back on the older brother, whom was sitting across from you at the kitchen island.

“Like when we were teenagers, right?” You chuckled lightly as you reminisced, though your brows furrowed at the serious look on Matt’s face.

“See, that’d be a good idea, only letting her play any part in our fun now would be too good. Plus, she’d just taint the marshmallows and fuck up our s'mores.” He replied.

You scrunched your nose and crossed your arms.

“When you put it that way— I don’t want that bitch touching anything I put in my mouth.”

Jeff’s leg suddenly appeared, knee hooked around the back of the couch as he yanked his torso up to peek over at you two. He was damn flexible— and currently smirking a smug lil smirk at you.

“Lucky for me, she-who-must-not-be-named never touched me,”

Y/N cocked a brow up at the remark.

“Uuuh huh. I seen her give you plenty of hugs.”

Jeff mirrored your expression and threw a momentary glance down south.

“Not what I meant, sweetie pie.” Normally his adorable accent uttering his nickname for you made you all giddy, but in this case you just shook your head and tried giving Matt a sympathetic look for falling into Jeff’s antics.

The thing was, Matt seemed like he hardly paid attention to the ordeal at all; stranger yet was the slow smile creeping across his face. A small tilt of your head reminded him that you couldn’t exactly hear whatever it was that was going on in his mind.

“I got an idea. Trust me, you’ll like it.”

That idea turned out to be a quite wonderful “reenactment” of the pair’s breakup. Dramatized as all hell but all parts equally hilarious.

The aforementioned cutout was dragged into one of the bathrooms, standing tall just by the toilet (which probably needed some cleaning). It was just the perfect setting for such a high class gal.

Midway through the first part of Matt’s ingenious segment - only just beginning here in the bathroom - you pointed down at the toilet, plugged your nose, and then points at Matt in a silent gesture you hoped he’d understand. As badly as you wanted to say it outright, it would only ruin the entire take.

Matt had seen it in his peripheral vision and wasted no time blurting: “Listen, every time I come in here and need to do a number 2? I’ll leave it in there and then lock the door.”

You nearly fainted, the camera shaking the tiniest bit until another hand came from behind you to steady it. Jeff grinned down at you from over your shoulder before putting a finger to his lips and taking over filming duty. Biting the inside of your mouth to push down your impending laughter, you patted Jeff’s shoulder as a sign of gratitude.

Filming went on for at least a couple hours - mostly cause of all the breaks coming up with what part to do next or the downright shenanigans the three of you ended up getting distracted with, one of which was aggressively having a competition on who could draw the nastiest shit on any one of the Lita posters around the house. Some Matt had actually bought and some either fans or Lita herself had gifted.

Let’s just say you all had livid imaginations and drew much worse things than the classic mustache and devil horns.

“Heh, honestly I wouldn’t doubt that one to be true to size.” Jeff suddenly spoke, gazing down at your newest work of art. On one of the posters you had drawn a rough outline of a dick - a very small and lob sided one - and labeled it in big red letters “EDGE’S WEENER.”

“Unlike his big teeth,” Matt added. “I’d pay money and bet his dick ain’t got nothing on me.”

Yes, the three of you long time friends often got vulgar in your conversations, but perhaps the couple beers along the journey were helping you all along.

“Yeah, I bet. That’s probably why I shot the motherfucker down without even hesitating. Call it female intuition.” You let out a biting laugh, tapping your marker against your chin in thought of what to do next.

Abruptly the low snickers amongst your group ceased, however, and both boys blinked up at your oblivious form.

“Wait-”

“When was this?”

“Only maybe a month ago? Probably less. That bug-eyed blond never knew when to stop trying to impress.”

Matt capped his marker with a certain vigor, boring holes into the pieces of paper piled between you.

“That bastard.”

“Shit. Was that why you rushed into my dressing room so quick? You did seem a little off -” Jeff recalled the memory of your tight greeting hug in a split second, smiling tensely but making a strangely angry expression with his eyebrows. He was glad to remember your encounter but not so with the why.

“But anyway, it doesn’t matter now. If I bump into him anywhere outside of work I’ll be giving him a piece of me alright — my fist up his ass.” Pursing your lips you set your marker down as well, slowly realizing you lost the cap at one point.

Matt balled a fist and sent Jeff a silent look— they both felt a sweep of rage but decided now wasn’t the time to up and track the dude down or anything. The older brother sighed heavily, collecting himself for a short time and rubbing his eyes.

He knew he’d have plenty of time to get back on Edge in the ring.

Meantime, Jeff crawled closer to you, his hands wrinkling the stack of posters on the ground as he did.

“What’re you-”

“Ya got marker on your cheek,” He licked his thumb and deftly reached forward to rub the small dot from your face, lucky it hadn’t fully saturated yet.

Matt cleared his throat and stood up, gathering most of the posters in his arms as he did.

“Alright, I got a better idea.” His voice was a bit gravely, like he was holding something back as his dark eyes lingered on the pair of you (still too close for his comfort) longer than was wise. Jeff dried off his thumb on his shorts and stood too, helping you up by the elbow.

As it were, that ‘better idea’ was probably not the smartest activity for a trio of semi-drunk adults to be doing: target practice on the newly decorated posters; however, sensibility had never stopped you all from having a blast.

“Film this for me,” Matt instructed, snapping the magazine into his handgun and setting the weapon up properly before taking aim for the first shot.

Jeff had officially become cameraman since the bathroom, and stood a safe distance away with you by his side. He threw up his Hardy sign to let Matt know he was good to go.

Matt fired away, at least five shots ringing out and definitely hitting their general mark.

“Daaaang, right in the face!” You praised, at this point caring less and less for the actual video y'all were trying to make for the show. After Matt fired a few more and emptied the thing, you stepped into the frame and got close to him.

“Hey, lemme shoot some.”

“I dunno if that’d be wise, short stuff.” Matt let a half smile creep up when you put one of your smaller hands over the one that was holding the gun.

“C'mon, I went shooting with you before!”

Jeff hit stop on the record button and set the device down on the grass.

“Go on, let her do it, Matt. Who’s it hurtin’?”

Matt’s lips made a straight line and he loosened his grip on the empty weapon. The moment it left his hand completely you felt the full weight of it and had to grip it tighter; playing it off as nothing you watched as he dug the rest of the bullets out of his pocket.

“Alright. I’ll let ya if those little hands of yours remember how to load this up,” He handed over the handful before setting his hands on his hips.

“I have average sized hands. Not my fault your’s are massive in comparison,” His amused grunt only made you more determined to prove him wrong.

After you successfully pressed each of the bullets into the magazine you beamed up at the taller male, and quickly turned your body toward the same target as before. You did remember all the basics and made sure to pull it back and take the safety off—

“There’s a bit of a kick in that one, so you best position yourself better than that,” The aforementioned, massive hands gently nudged your hips so they were aligned with the gun, followed by a light tap from one of Matt’s feet to the inside of your heel to get you to spread your stance a tad.

There was warmth from his chest against your back that caused you to swallow and moisten your oddly dry throat.

“Where’re ya aiming for?” He murmured, his face close but his eyes trained forward.

Did he seriously not realize how this was making you feel?

Only sparing him a lightning fast glance (also noticing Jeff was still standing only ten feet away, tapping his foot sporadically), you took a breathe and squinted your eyes, “Where it would probably hurt the most.”

“The crotch?”

The assumption lightened your mood, but you still let out a harsh huff and readjusted your sin again.

“No, the vagina isn’t the equivalent to your balls— I was thinking more the boobs, if you were a woman and ever been punched in one of em, you’d understand.”

“Hurts that much?”

“I can’t say, I’ve never been kicked in the balls, so,” You retorted snidely, slowly pulling the trigger and - possibly - striking right where you meant. You honestly weren’t sure since Matt wasn’t joking about the recoil on that thing, and you would’ve been rocked had it not been for his body being right behind you.

“Geez,” You rubbed your shoulder lightly, and Matt went to take it away from you. “No, no, I still wanna shoot. You just make it look all easy!”

“I try,” he chuckled, flexing playfully.

“Oh, sure, pretend I’m not here. And you call us lovebirds, huh, Matt?” Jeff straight up whined, his mouth as slanted as his stance.

“Shut up, Jeff. I was just lookin’ out for, Y/N. What are you doing?”

Watching the boys bicker was a favorite pass time of yours, but right now any and all hostilities were to be toward the common enemies. You bumped your hips back, catching Matt off guard when your butt came in contact with his body and pushed him a step away.

Jeff seemed equally shocked if his open mouth was any indicator.

“Thanks, but now that I know what to expect I can take care of it myself. Stop fighting. I just wanna get some prep in before my big match with our guest of honor.”

Matt dusted himself off and pinched the tip of his nose in passing, waving his hand forward to let you continue.

On the next RAW in a couple days you were absolutely sure Lita would be in for a real life beating … no guns, but certainly a truck load of bruises.

You decided to sleepover at Matt’s house for the night, mostly due to both brothers insisting you shouldn’t drive back to your home, even if it was only half and hour away. Jeff was staying over at the house as well, since he had some complaints about just being home alone when he knew his best friends were right across the woods.

“G'night, babe.” You gave Jeff a snug hug, already set for bed in your cotton PJ shorts and black tanktop (which had the Hardy logo printed across it). The casual pet names were half due to the longevity of your friendship and half due to the off and on TV relationship.

“Night, darlin’.” He whispered back, arms squeezing your waist to him before releasing you.

Spinning on your heel you saw Matt partially turned away, hand rubbing his neck.

“Hey, you weren’t thinking of going to bed without saying sweet dreams were you?” Arms spread wide, you shuffled to him and were happily met by a warm embrace.

“'Course not.”

Pulling back from the hug your fingers softly patted his cheek. “Lighten up, kay? You’ll be over her soon enough and I promise to punish her for her sins on RAW.”

“I’m countin’ on it,” Matt smirked shortly, watching while you nodded and skipped off to the guest bedroom.

Just before you swung the door shut, your ears caught Matt cooing ‘Sweet dreams,’ followed by Jeff with a ‘Don’t let the bed bugs bite … too hard,’ closed with a sharp laugh and the sound of a swat to the head.

Once you were gone the brothers were left to themselves in the living room.

“So,”

Matt looked to his brother, who was hesitant on how to continue.

“So?” Matt pressed. “You don’t gotta ask me how I’m doing. I’m fine, really.”

Jeff chewed his lip, staring at his knees when he sat down.

“Yeah, a little too fine. It’s only been a week and you’re already movin’ on, huh?”

Matt’s eyes narrowed. “And you mean what by that?”

“Outside? With Y/N? You seemed like you were awful cozy pressin’ against her like that.”

Offended and surprised, the older Hardy took a step toward the latter, sitting on the chair just in front of him.

“You’re butt hurt over that?”

“Don’t act like that wasn’t something,”

“It was nothing. I thought I told you I was just worried about her,” Matt spoke with a sharp tongue, getting more annoyed when Jeff’s green eyes challenged his own brown ones. Having a baby brother, he was plenty used to brattiness or whatever else, but he’d never seen Jeff act so sensitively.  

“So you’re tellin’ me you didn’t like it the tiniest bit when you had her pressed against you like that? You weren’t blushin’ red when she bumped ya?”

Matt was bewildered by the calm, but biting little jabs, and massaged his temples to keep his cool.

“What - what the hell’s up with you, Jeff?”

“Nothing.” Jeff’s brows seemed to relax, and he ran a harsh hand down his face. “I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence for at least a full minute then.

“…Just be honest with me, would ya?” Jeff almost thought the words were his own, since he had been thinking to say the same thing, only it came from the other.

“Alright.”

Matt cleared his throat, flicking his eyes toward the direction you had disappeared to.

“Do you like, Y/N?”

Jeff’s eyes went downcast at the question, but he knew there wasn’t any chance of him lying. Not to Matt. “If you’re askin’ I think that means you know the answer.”

“Known for awhile. You’re not the best actor—” Matt tried to chuckle, “But whenever it was a segment with her I always believed every word. And even before then it was like you two always had a spark, or somethin’ like that.”

Nearly smiling, but stopping midway, the younger brother moistened his lips to speak. “Funny, I could’ve said the same thing about you.”

There was another silence, only more brief.

“Jeff, I—”

“You don’t gotta explain. I don’t blame you either.”

“No, I wanted to tell you, honestly,” Matt scooted to the edge of his chair, dipping his head and making sure he had eye contact when he said this. “I like Y/N as a friend,”

He truly meant to comfort his baby brother - basically deny his assumptions, set the record straight, and make sure Jeff would end up happy… even if that meant pretending he didn’t care about you the way he actually did. The way that he had only just realized… almost as soon as he’d broken up with Lita.

“But as a woman, I just…”

He truly meant for this to go smoothly and be easy, but then again he really wasn’t a good actor and this was one of the biggest lies he would ever tell. Still… Matt managed, if only because of the increasingly concerned expression melting onto the enigma’s face. Jeff was stressed, swearing he knew what Matt wanted to say.

“— I just love… our relationship now. I can’t picture myself with Y/N, but I can picture her with you.”

Matt’s heart strained against his ribs, beating erratically.

“That’s… that’s good to hear, comin’ from you.” Jeff spoke quietly, such a hurricane of emotions racing through him. As much as he wanted to believe Matt’s words, they both knew that they knew each other too well for that.

The Following RAW Event

You took a deep breath for the hundredth time, tightening the laces on your boots purely out of passing the time and not because you had to.

Your match with Lita was up next since your backstage interview about it already past, but as much as you’d been looking forward to giving Lita a good ass-whoopin’ it was impossible to keep your head focused where it needed to be.

That night you slept over at Matt’s house you had heard everything.

Alright, maybe not every tiny bit, but you’d heard the important parts… at the end. You had opened your door to get the glass of water you’d forgotten on the kitchen counter, but stopped right in the doorway when you heard the tense conversation between your two closest friends.

Needless to say, what you’d heard had left questions for yourself more than anyone else.

Jeff basically admitted he liked you… and not just when you two had segments on TV. And Matt? Matt was basically trying to set you two up but… why did he have to sound like that?

You felt torn between feeling elated that Jeff felt that way, Matt fully supporting it — and feeling hurt that Matt couldn’t even imagine a relationship with you. But you couldn’t even see their faces then and you still didn’t believe a word Matt said.

Was it conceited to believe that both of them might feel the same way about you?

After all these years, you’d always known they were both adorable - well - attractive … above average in personality and looks and you knew all three of you had always been protective of one another but… how had you never considered it being more than that?

And why in earth could you not imagine it only being with one of them?

Fuck.

You felt guilty. Like some skank that just wouldn’t be satisfied —

“Do you need some help with that, Angel Face?”

The last person you had on your mind, Johnny freakin’ Nitro, stood in front of you, eyes going from the toes of your boots upward to your face. Apparently some time in your thoughts you’d managed to untie your laces. The cocky son of a bitch still had on those sunglasses of his, the accessory not unlike the smirk he always wore.

As much as you didn’t care for him, at least his presence - unable to be ignored due to his obnoxious nature - was able to turn your internal dilemma into the fiesty fury that you needed in the ring.

Unfortunately, that brief moment of speechlessness was taken kindly as an invitation, Nitro kneeling down and beginning to tighten your laces and loop them around his fingers; you straightened your leg and pushed him back by the chest, huffing.

“I don’t think I remember saying yes to that help, Johnny.”

“Well, you looked up at me all dreamy so I thought—”

“Never assume what a lady wants.”

His hand rested gently on the underside of your ankle, as if he still thought you’d let him touch you.

You flicked your ankle to have him let go before you propped your leg up on the crate you were sitting on to redo the ties yourself. He still decided to stick around, aside from being given your outright rejection, his eyes still downcast while he stood to full height.

Once your laces were taught you swung your legs off and landed soundly, though Johnny’s body was still too close for comfort. To make matters worse, he leaned over to settle a hand on the spot you’d just been sitting, lowering his sunglasses so he could peek down at you.

“You need something still?” You hissed, rolling out your shoulders and standing your ground, casually.

“Wondering if you were busy after the show, is all, Y/N.”

“Aw, I didn’t know you and Melina were having issues,” You tilted your head, feigning a look of pity.

“Oh, we’re not. But that’s just for the story line, I’m still as single as can be, sweetie pie,” His intent was obvious, he even mimicked Jeff’s drawl — or tried to — when using the pet name Jeff had always used for you.

The tiny detail had you seething more than even you expected.

A loud smack resounded down the near empty hall way, the singular sound joining it coming from Johnny’s glasses sliding across the ground.

“Jesus, I was just trying to be nice to y—”

“Fuck off, Nitro.”

A familiar pair of hands, adorned in black and white arm bands, yanked Johnny the rest of the way away from you, Jeff taking the place at your side.

“Touchy,” Johnny complained, rubbing his reddening cheek. He went to pick up his sunglasses only to have them kicked away by the other Hardy, who was standing stiffly.

“Think you’re better off without the stupid things anyway,” Matt crossed his muscular arms. “Don’t you got an interview with your girlfriend Melina soon?”

Johnny sighed, resigning himself with annoyed crack of his neck.

“I still think you can do better than either of these assholes,” He directed at you over his shoulder, strutting away.

Jeff’s warm hand stroked your arm; your E/C eyes went to him. All your distracted thoughts from before Nitro’s interference started rushing back quick— and you found yourself glancing over at the older Hardy too, pursing your lips uncomfortably.

“You alright?” Jeff asked, not used to you not being so quiet.

“Mhm.” You scratched your shoulder, toying with the strap of your top now.

“That guy messed with you before, Y/N? If he ever over steps again you just tell me, I’ll drop kick him half way across the country,” Matt added, brows knitted together.

“No, that’s why I was thrown off. I took care of it though, and I’ve taken care of worse than him, you guys.”

Jeff wet his lips, “Yeah.. well. You did slap him damn good. If I remember the last time you hit me correctly I know he’ll feel that one tomorrow too.”  

“Lucky I’ve never pissed off Y/N enough for her to smack me.” Matt grinned, noticing your eyes darting between them.

Down the hall toward the curtain, Lita’s theme music finally hit. That was your cue to leave — and as much as you loved your.. friends, you were glad to jump into the ring and let off some steam.

“Gotta go, boys. I’d say wish me luck but I think Lita’s gonna need it more than me.”

Had you mentioned that your match held a no disqualification stipulation?

Well, that was true.

The match between you two women had the crowd riled up for more reasons than one, and had been going on at least a solid fifteen minutes as it were. Lita was catching her breath in the opposite corner to you, rubbing her side that had been gifted several stiff elbows.

You dropped down and rolled out of the ring, debating between a steel chair or a kendo stick.

Thus far the match up was fairly even— not as one sided as you might’ve dreamed; however, you saw red when Edge’s music hit. Creative had warned you of interference, or a possible light distraction, but having been so dedicated to not dying you’d almost forgotten.

Edge didn’t go any farther than half way down the ramp, yelling something or other to his new lady— you wished someone had yelled a warning to you instead though, since the moment your eyes shifted back to the opponent she was already flying over the ropes and tackling you to the ground.

A loud grunt only solidified the pain that shot up your back.

“Damnit…”

A few rowdy fans on the barricade whooped your name, drumming their hands on their knees for motivation.

Getting on your stomach and lifting up your torso with your elbows, you flashed them a thumbs up before crawling to the ring apron to retrieve an item of punishment. Hand reaching blindly, it caught cold steel.

“Hey, Lita?” You panted, glaring up at her form that was limping toward you, “I ain’t apologizing for this either!”

Swinging the chair out without mercy, you swept her legs and got her to her knees; adding three more solid whops to her back before Edge started coming toward you, you smiled wildly and threw the partially opened chair right toward his face, knocking him out for long enough.

You dragged Lita’s wincing body back to the ring, leading her to the center and grabbing a handful of her burgundy hair.

“Do you at least regret what you did to him?”

Your voice was for her, but loud enough for the crowd up front to comprehend.

She dared meet your eyes, “We’re both better off,” she spat.

Figures.

Releasing her hair, you slapped her face with between both hands then spun around to run toward the ropes - push off of them for leverage, then catch her head again for a Twist of Fate homage.

Again, the crowd erupted— that being the first time you ever did one of the Hardy move sets. The chants started quicker, alternating 'Let’s Go Y/N!’ and 'Lita Sucks!’ along with a few out of tune groups still trying to cheer for Lita.  

Both women bounced off the mat, Lita rolling to her back with a groan; that was the perfect time for the next step up — Justice from above, you liked to think, as you ascended the ropes to execute a slightly modified version of the Swanton Bomb.

Once at the top, instead of throwing up the Hardy sign you flipped up your middle fingers, then leaping off in divers form (rather than arms spread like wings), rotating, with your back landing square onto Lita and pumping your fist just as you made contact simply for the extra show of triumph.

Damn, it hurt— but not as much as it felt good to flip around and pin her for the one, two, three.

The ref raised your hand accordingly, giving you a chance to stick your tongue out at Edge as he grabbed Lita’s hand and helped her get backstage.

A loud, excited audience was all a wrestler could wish for, especially when they were on your side— nevertheless, it was a relief to have one problem taken care of tonight. Hopefully your hormonal ass would get shit together about the Boyz soon enough.

Heaving some air back into your lungs as you stepped gingerly down the metal stairs rubbing your lower back, and you touched the outstretched hands of some fans on your way.

One sign caught your attention, and you slowed down to a stop; the woman halted her frantic waving, seemingly flustered when you stared right at it. It was bright green poster, two printed pictures on it: one was of Matt and Lita — though it was crossed out with red strips of paper — and the other was an old one of you and Matt hugging after the first time the Hardy Boyz had claimed tag team gold. Jeff was just by you two as well, slightly blurred since he was in the middle of going to lock you into the iconic group hug (Hardy sandwich).

The hand written text above it read 'THE REAL SHIP.’

“I think you and Matt would be a much better couple! Amazing match by the way, Y/RingName!”

You flushed slightly, high-fiving her and her companions’ hands out of courtesy, so it wasn’t as obvious you were only looking at the poster. One of her friends, smacked her shoulder, trying to get her to lower the poster at least a bit.

“Don’t just bark at her like that, gurl!”

The friend threw you a side long glance, trying her best to put up a brave front and not seem embarrassed. Your brows raised and you waved it off, legs beginning to move again.

“It’s alright, really. Thank you guys!” You addressed, turning your head to the other side of the barricade crowd as well, waving and jogging across to give a few more hand shakes. But before you’d fully moved away, the buddy of the sign holder scolded: “- besides, what if she wants to be with Jeff?”

Some bickering ensued after, but you swallowed hard and tried to scurry off faster after that. Your face held a victorious smile for the fans, but internally you were disoriented and overwhelmed. Felt like everything was caving in all at once, while the world around you was carrying on in perfect harmony.

“You do it better n’ me, Y/N.” Jeff chided backstage, immediately making you feel like you couldn’t escape them even if they weren’t always by your side. Not that… not that you didn’t like it — it just wasn’t as apparent before.

“I wouldn’t say that. Just different. Plus, you don’t hate most of the guys you fight.” The both of you laughed, the sounds meshed together like music.

Their match against the Dudley’s wasn’t for another half hour at least, so that gave them plenty of time to chill around with you — and catering.

“That Twist of Fate had my head spinnin’,” Matt patted your back, smiling that award winning smile just to make your sore knees tingle a little. Fuck.

By the Gods you needed to eat something.

Grabbing some plates and passing one to each of the brothers, you went down the line, pretty much grabbing a little of everything, especially from the small plate of desserts. It might’ve looked bad if it weren’t for the two Hardys trailing behind grabbing just about the same (probably more).

Jeff was shoving some potatoes in his mouth before you all were through, only stopping to look at Matt when he saw the other picking up a bottle of mustard.

“I thought ya—”

“— Why do we even have this here? What do folks eat this with?” Matt was making one of his rare disgusted faces, putting down the bottle with a thud and turning back to you two.

As much as your head was still spinning, there was no denying Matt’s hatred for mustard was always hilarious. Your lips quivered slightly, and you had to bite your lower one to stop the laugh - or worse the snort.

“Well, there are hot dogs right behind ya, Matt.” Jeff pointed, noticing his brother already had one on his plate anyway.

“Mustard shouldn’t taint the sanctity of the hot dog,” Matt defended, over dramatizing and taking a large bite out of said food.

You let out your amused snort, covering your lips as you started giggling. Jesus, it was impossible to hate them. Or even contemplate avoiding them.

What that meant as far as staying just friends? Who knows.

Both men’s faces lit up whenever you laughed without fail, Jeff juggling his plate in his hand and poking you right in your ticklish spot on your side, “What’re you laughin’ about? Pretty sure you have a list of things you don’t like to eat.”

You tried leaning away, clutching your paper plate and trying to salvage your mini feast, “J-Jeff! Stop, or I’m gonna make sure this lands right on you when you make me drop it—”

“Go ahead, I got no problem goin’ out there naked if you ruin my rags,” He shot back, poking both your sides this time after he set down his plate on the catering table behind him. You jumped in your skin, tempted to smash the plate into his face instead, but held on, just till the point Matt plucked the godforsaken thing out of your hand; always the peace keeper that guy.

Okay, not always - not by a long shot - but in this instance maybe it was getting out of hand with all the by standers and other wrestlers staring.

“Hey hey hey, no need to fight over lil’ ol me… ladies.” Matt pushed Jeff away lightly, and Jeff put up his fists, dancing around a bit.

“Oh, it’s gonna be like that? You wanna go again?”

Again, as in just like that Hardy vs Hardy nonsense they’d done for the Hardy Show. (if you haven’t seen either one, you’re missing out). Incredibly over acted, even for a pair of young wrestlers, but the scene before you was starting to look just like it.

Even funnier was the fact Matt was holding both your and his plates still, right up in Jeff’s business.

A short scan of the room and you saw a few people who actually looked concerned, a few people who were used to the banter and ignored it completely, and a few straggling wrestlers who were just going about grabbing their own food.

It was best to let them tussle it out when they were in their playful mode, so you did.

Whistling and crossing your arms behind your back, you let yourself enjoy the moment, or, you suppose: just live for the moment. Stress was for later.

Trish slid an elbow onto your shoulder, surprising you and taking your look away from them.

“Those two are always more wild when you’re around, you notice that?” She cooed, wiggling her brows.

“They’re always freakin’ animals, Trish.”

“I noticed. But when you’re with them it’s like they’re always making a fuss. Maybe they like keeping your attention,” Her blond hair swished over as she turned her head to meet you eye level.

You made a face, “We been friends for a long time.” Though you didn’t exactly hate this chick, you weren’t near BFFs. She was acting all nice now but you’d seen all her sides.

“All the more reason to make a move already,” she whispered to your ear, leaning on you more. “If you don’t step up and claim one of those Hardys, I will, hon.”

At that you exhaled hard, moving your shoulder so she tipped over slightly. She clicked her tongue and fixed her hair again, smirking at the brothers still bantering.

“I already kissed the little one a few times, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind some more.” Now sporting that full shit-eating grin, she began

sauntering away with hips a swaying.

Balling up a fist and holding onto your wrist with the other, you deeply fought the urge to deck her for real — you didn’t need to be getting suspended for unnecessary violence now, though.

But damnit if she ever tried making a move on either one of them again you wouldn’t hesitate; everyone knew she got around the locker room. The one thing that put you somewhat at ease was the recollection that Jeff had always complained about being forced to do the storyline with her way back when, followed by some joke (not really) that he’d much rather it be a long term storyline with you. He’d constantly said she was 'pretty, but really not the best person.’

Your fist loosened.

Trish passed right by them and they didn’t even lift a head — likely due to the fact Jeff was putting Matt in a head lock and Matt was trying to weakly elbow him in the stomach, plates somehow still in hand -

Oh.

Spoke too soon.

The two plates spilled onto the floor, food splattering or rolling about — you gasped and hopped over the mess, pulling the two away so they wouldn’t end up slipping and killing themselves before they ever hit the cameras tonight.

They released each other too, grimacing at the waste.

“Look what you crazies did now,” you scolded, the power of it not much since your lips were curled into a faint smile. Everyone in their right mind knew it would happen, but it was still worth it to see their faces.

It so happened a stadium custodian was passing by, rolling their mop and bucket; the spill was spotted and they didn’t seem very amused.

Childish fighting aside, the demeanor of the Hardy Boyz did a 180 with them shuffling between apologizing and trying to lean down and help clean up.

“We’re real sorry, it won’t happen again,” Matt tried first. “It was mostly his fault, but we’ll both clean up.” Jeff finished, using the discarded plate to scoop up a good portion of the scattered bits.

The custodian sighed, using broom, mop, and gloves to do a far more adequate job, ready to mop up after as well.

On a few occasions one or both nearly slipped on stray pieces or condiments, but finally the mess was deleted and they were able to stand straight and steady.

“Just try not to spill more food, alright, kids.” The janitor advised, adjusting their cap.

You knew they hated being called kids or having their youth brought into things- they weren’t even that young anyway - but here they just nodded, honestly embarrassed.

“Won’t happen again, m'am.”

The older woman sighed and nodded, carrying on her way.

Jeff hit Matt in the chest with the back of his hand as soon as she was out of sight.

“M'am? Really?”

“Ah shut up.”

They had put up a typical gentleman front, if only for a few minutes, but couldn’t help maybe rolling their eyes at the way the janitor had acted. It was her job to clean up messes anyway, and it was an accident, so you couldn’t say you disagreed.

“Yo, I’m gonna go to the locker rooms to change. ’M all sweaty and I’d like to be comfortable before my body starts aching too much,” You rubbed your neck, seeing now that everyone had kinda given up on eating at the moment. You lost your appetite anyway.

Jeff crossed his arms.

“Ya big baby. And just cause you took a couple big bumps.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“I’m not as much as a psychotic high flyer as y'all, I’m more down for sweeping out the legs and gettin’ down and dirty instead.”

It was a split second but that small part at the end made Jeff gulp, eyes narrowing. Matt quirked a brow at his brother, anticipating his response. Jeff stepped toward you, not only giving your side one last poke but also shamelessly swiping his other hand over your forehead - which as you said - was a lil sweaty.

“I don’t break a sweat that easy.”

“Oh my god, Jeff! You’re fucking disgusting sometimes,” Giving him a push, the noise you made after was a painful mix of laughing and out crying. “I’m going now. And my match lasted just as long as most of your’s, so we’ll see if you’re totally dry after you go out there!”

“So feisty.” The enigma teased, nose scrunching.

Matt laid a hand on the latter’s shoulder, “If you’re gonna prove it, let’s let Y/N do her thing and let’s go warm up so we don’t lose. You know she won’t let us live it down if she gets a win over us.”

“At least one of you has a little sense.” Your smirk at Jeff melted into a normal smile when you looked over at Matt.

Older Hardy returned that and opened his mouth to add more, only you held up a finger. “A little.”

And you pivoted back on your heel, extending your arms behind your head, holding one elbow first to get a good stretch.

After a few steps the brothers were still at it talking to each other, they never really stopped much, and it was hard to ever imagine them not being a team. You were grateful they let you have your space if you ever needed it, like right now.

You got to the locker rooms and changed out of your ring gear to a comfortable crop top and high waisted, torn jeans. You pulled what you could of your hair into a ponytail too before zipping up your bag and going to chill back in the lobby area.

For the first time that night it felt like you were alone, aside from the passing people backstage and the noise from the monitor that was showing all the current matches as they happened. You felt at home. You felt sore, and at home, but you were still relaxed in your foldable chair.

Closing your eyes, you let your mind wander some.

Jeff likes you.

Jeff, one half of your best friends in the world, likes you.

You would venture to say the other L word but you would never associate it with his feelings for you until he said it himself.

In a way, it all made sense, and you felt foolish not to notice it— Matt even said he knew for a long time. How long, you didn’t know, but you knew Jeff had play flirted with you for years — and you had flirted back. It was like human nature to you, but now that you knew he didn’t see you as a friend well…

You felt your face heat up, suddenly remembering all the small touches and kisses on the cheek you both had racked up with one another, and all the times Jeff had carried you when you were too drunk to stand or otherwise impaired. You supposed some of those occasions didn’t fall into the category of casual friend. Jeff was a wild man, strange in the good ways, but he was a freakin’ sweet heart too.

But on the other hand… and this was the part messing you up the most— you had a similar (albeit lesser) track record with Matt. Before he’d started dating Lita, you two were playful, practically laughed at any joke the other made, and maybe hugged more often than you had to; only after he’d began dating her you two still messed with each other but not nearly as much as before. That was because Matty had class and knew not to go kissing another girl’s cheek all the time when he was committed to a relationship— and there was probably no way he would’ve actually went so close to you and taught you (hands on) how to shoot properly if Lita had been around still.

And why did Matt not seem so sad after breaking up with a 6-year girlfriend? Mad, sure. Vengeful at his fake, close friend Edge? Sure. But after they broke up and Matt got all that well-expected rage out in yells and curses… he cooled down. He was carrying on relatively well for how much he had always said he loved her.

And you?

You were noticing things differently now that Matt was single again; for forever he was off the table, you were fine with it because he was happy and that made you happy, but now you felt more flustered whenever he touched you. And you always wanted to stare longer when he smiled.

You were a grown ass woman, he was still your friend, and you were reacting like some inexperienced girl.

Your arms fell over your eyes while you leaned back in the chair more.

You loved them.

Your foot stomped, shoving your gear bag away in frustration.

You fucking loved the Hardys.

How was that gonna work? In your dreams, maybe.

Finally, you were back in your hotel room.

While you were off your game dreaming, beating yourself up, and rolling your face into the pillows, it was soon apparent that Jeff had been thinking about you just as much - only less pathetically.

It was probably around midnight, since everyone from RAW would’ve only just gotten back sometime after 11, when he rapped on your door.

You unlocked it and cracked it open, squinting your eyes at the dimly lit hallway as if you’d just been sleeping.

“Sorry, were you already hitting the hay for the night? I can talk to ya tomorrow,” Jeff blurted, hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

“Ah, no. No no, I was just… lying down.” You shrugged, opening the door fully and letting him close it behind him. “I’m sore and I haven’t even gotten a chance to clean up yet.”

“And I know you can’t sleep unless you’re clean,” Jeff said, plopping down on the edge of your single bed.

“Yeppers.” You sat on the corner of the bed, only a couple feet separating the two of you. You were good at keeping a poker face, thank god, and were fairly confident you didn’t look like you’d just come to terms with the fact with your best friends.

Jeff wasn’t making it easy to stay all laid back, however, with the way he was fiddling with his chipped nail paint.

You pushed off the hands you were leaning back on, crossing your arms on your knees. “Jeff?”

“I wanted to let you know that… if any guy makes a move on you, and you don’t like him, you should tell me. Or tell Matt. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep it to yourself just because you can handle it.”

You were quiet.

He glanced at you nervously, expecting your voice.

“Nitro’s been giving you looks for the last couple weeks, but what he did today wasn’t okay.”

You frowned, “I get a lot of looks from the guys. We all travel together and for some reason a lot of them think they can get with any female wrestler they want—” you lightly punched his arm. “I blame those 'ol bra and panty matches.”

Jeff coughed out a laugh, but tried getting serious again; his hand laid over your’s, which had settled back on the bed space between you.

“Yeah, I know. But just tell me if anybody makes you uncomfortable. I can’t stand the thought of any creep puttin’ his hands on you.”

You swallowed, slowly turning your hand so it was palm up to grip Jeff’s hand. Both of your palms were a little sweaty, but it was okay.

“Thanks, Jeffro.”

His tongue darted out to moisten his lips again, something he did when he was anxious, and his eyes trailed from your hands up to your face.

“Y/N… this is.. ehm… maybe an immature question to ask but,” He slowly snaked his hand out of your’s, wiping it on his pants, mumbling a soft sorry.

“Have you taken interest in any other wrestlers?” His eyes darted to your’s and he continued, as if to correct some terrible wrong. “If you do then Matt and I, we’ll know who not to beat up if he tries gettin’ with ya, ya know?”

That was adorable. And it made you rethink if he really liked you too or if he wanted you to be with someone else so he could be rid of a crush.

Your only answer, though, staring right into those pretty green eyes of his was simple (but with several meanings behind it): “Not that I can say, no.”

Because goddamn if you said who it was you did like - Jeff would probably think bad of you. Who on earth loved two people at the same time, right? One was a guy who just got out of a relationship and the other was his brother who was right… right in front of you.

As in, closer than before.

Your felt warm again, and you realized now it was because Jeff was leaning closer to you, his hand pressing into the sheets right by your hip, his face hovering just -

“Please don’t hate me for this, I just -” He rushed out the words, each breath against your parted lips until he closed the agonizing space.

His lips were tender— a pillowy press against your own even if they were slightly chapped. His eyes were closed tight, his body was tense; a true picture of a man who thought this was the only kiss he’d ever get from the one girl he actually cared for.

But it would be a crime if this was the only kiss you ever shared. Your body decided that before your mind had time to second guess it.

Jeff almost started to pull away, the pressure of his mouth lessening for a millisecond; but your fingers curled around his upper arm, keeping him leaned in. It just felt so… right. It felt like you’d kissed before.

His eyes snapped open and clashed with your half-lidded gaze. You two parted with a faint sound.

“You kissed me back.” He muttered.

Your heart thudded loudly in your ears while you nodded.

“Seems that way, smart one.” You flushed and bit the corner of your lip. If this was a dream you really were going to hell.

His forehead laid against your’s, and he eyed your lips.

“…That mean you’ll go out with me, sweetie pie?”

Oh, now you did feel giddy again. Somehow the way he said it then was more affectionate than ever, you felt like exploding.

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

All the nerves had left the building, neither of you able to break eye contact before your lips meshed again and again and again. That night you felt happier than you’d been able to in far too long.

And maybe that was attributed to the fact Jeff made you forget how sore your body was with… certain distractions. It was a good night and you had a little sleep over with Jeff, is all you could say.


[Yip. Might write what happened that night with Jeffro if peeps want it. ;) I’ll add the link to Part 2 when it’s all done!]

don't | archie andrews

Originally posted by kejja

request

written by: kelly

edited by: @jugheadxresderinyourhead

anonymous said: hi hon! can i get a #25 with mr. archie andrews? thanks :)

prompt: 25- “i told you not to fall in love with me”

chapter song: stay / rihanna and mickey echo

you are your own worst enemy. its the truth. its something that i’ve dealt with on many occasions so i know its true. self sabotage is my main game. i can never let myself feel even an ounce of happiness. the only person who made me feel happy was archie.

archie was always different. i understand that it sounds very cliche, but its the truth. he made me feel different. warmth oozed from my heart everytime we locked eyes. i knew he had feelings for me but i wasn’t aware how much he felt for me. he loved me so much, but i couldn’t hurt archie. 


riverdale. apple pie america. my hometown. im y/n sweetwater. yes like the murder river. that river was named after my great great grandfather, kenneth sweetwater. making me by all intents and purposes, riverdale royalty. this came with a stigma. my family was always under a microscope. my mother, heather, was so beautiful. she was a golden girl, gorgeous and talented. everywhere i go people always say its like seeing heathers ghost.

its haunting. she died when i was four. my dad was left alone, a 22year old single dad. he was heartbroken, but i was always treasured by him.he loves me more than anything, im all that he has left of her. my parents had real love. the kinf of love that warrents a slow ballad, kissing under the soft moonlght. sneaky rendezvous’ at sweetwater river at midnight. true love. 


“earth to sweetwater..” kevin moans as we stroll along the main street, sipping on sweet tea.

“whats up?” i mumble softly, playing with the ice in my cup.

“its like talking to a brick wall.” he teasted, bumping his shoulder on mine.

“im sorry k, im just a little pre-occupied.” i admit.

“oh yeah, the dilf is bringing his new fling to dinner tonight huh.” kevin grimaced, making a scrunched up face.

“bite me.” i mouthed. 

“there’s the sheriff, im out babe.” he smiled.

“pray for me?” i plead.

“you’ll be okay, we can spill the tea tomorrow.” he declared.

and with that he was off. with a pep in his step, smile on his face. unlike me, i looked like pure shit and i felt like i was gonna pass out.


i open the front door to my house, trying to be as quiet as possible so i can go and change my shirt. i spilt iced tea all over myself and i wanted to look somehwat decent before meeting my dads new possible love interest. like many things in my life, this didn’t go to plan.

as i entered the dining room, i see my dad facing this beautiful woman. She looks like she just stepped off of a catwalk.

“hey honey.’ my dad smiles.

“yeah just showing my face, got home safe and sound.” i said smiling at the mystery chick. 

“gina this is y/n, y/n this is gina.” my dad awkwardly introduces the two of us.

she looks over at me and smiles.

“um dad, i need to run to archies real quick and take him..the maths text book i borrowed.” that was a lie. this situation is too awkward so i have to bounce.

“okay, just dont stay out too late.” he warned. 

“i wont, toodles gina, it was nice meeting you.” i blurt as i leave the cringey date scene in my dining room.

as i rush out of the house and get into my car, i remember that archie and jughead had said in passing that they would be at pops’ tonight obsessing over jasons death as per usual. off to the well lit diner in the middle of town.


as i pull up i see the red haired boy leaving. 

“hey! where are you going?” i shout out of my car window, almost giving the tall boy a hear attack.

“what the fuck y/n?!?” he exlaims, rubbing his chest in circular motions.

“where are you going?” curiosity fills the air.

“home.” he answers shortly. coldness overiding his tone. i could tell there was something bothering him.

“whats up your ass?” i commented under my breath.

all of a sudden, archie storms over to the passenger door of my car, swinning the door open and almost instantly afterwards he slams it again. 

he is now sitting in the seat, his head in his palms.

“you’re driving me fucking crazy.” he whispers.

“i told you not to fall in love with me.” i warned, bordering on the verge of tears.

“you’re saying it like i can help how i feel about you!” he snapped back at me.

“you can, you can go and be with someone else. someone who will make you happy. someone who is worth your affection. im not that girl.” i reply.

“do you love me?” he aksed.

“its not that simple archie..” i pronounced.

“answer the question.” he ordered, tears in his waterline. his big brown eyes filled with hurt.

“no.” the second lie filled the car like a toxic spill. 

i heard an audible heart break. its like someone viciously ripping a piece of paper. hard, loud and sharp. what have i done?

i was cutr out of my gaze into space by the car door slamming shut. the red haired boy walking along the icy car park. the love of my life. the love that i’ve just alienated.




tag list: @hauntedcherryblossombanana-blog @sadbreakfastclb @jugandbettsdetectiveagency @natalieroseg @mhysaofdrxgons @hiimalyssawriter @riverdalemami @kindfloweroflove @fragilefrances @mydelightfulcollectiontyphoon @onceuponagladerhead

Things I Have Been Reading- July

Hello my lovely tumblr people, how has your day been?  I hope it’s been good.  Right, now, this months list isn’t as long as usual as I’ve been very busy and hardly read anything BUT I am hoping to make up for that next month so please send me any fics you think I might like. 

For more fic recs feel free to follow my @girl-next-door-recommends which is a blog I set up fairly recently to keep track of all the great stuff I have been reading.  I also have a tagging system to make it easy to find your fandom amongst the many or you can search for a certain character if that is your thing.  

So, here is some things I have been reading that I thought you might like too.

Originally posted by idedicatethisblogtodestiel

Supernatural:

Magic Dean - @kittenofdoomage has blessed us, truly blessed us, with this amazing incredibly smutty piece of Dean fucking Winchester.  Definitely one for the 18+ and DAMN don’t read it in public because you will need to go lay down for a bit or do the ice bucket challenge or something.  *furiously fans face*

Ready Steady - @dont-hate-relate-pls So as some of you may know I’ve been in a bit of a ROB crisis of late (it will help with a certain piece I’m working on but that’s beside the point) so ANYWAY, I came across this Chuck fic and instantly fell in love with it.  It broke my heart but in a really good way and I love the song it’s based on so go read the awesome fic!

Here again - @sdavid09 You know my list wouldn’t be complete without my favourite angel making an appearance and this is one I read a while back and recently rediscovered and I swear it ripped my heart out all over again.  So many Gabe feels right here so you have been warned!

Originally posted by captainamerica1-6

Marvel:

Can’t Stop This Feeling - @t-adash-i Peter Maximoff is actually super cute and sweet.  I think this awesome little fic might just have opened another trash can for me to fall into.

Married with Benefits - @bovaria A story where you are fake married to Steve you say?  Don’t mind if I do.  One of my favourite writers writing one of my favourite characters in one of my favourite AU’s.  GO.  Read ALL the parts now!!

Assistant to the Captain - @marvelouswritings YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! And with this series and it’s incredibly slow burn you are forgiven for the angry pile of angst I am after reading Table for Three.  

Control - @theheadcanonsawakens I do like a bit of Pietro and wiping the cock smug smirk off his face so this fic is right up my street.  Cute and funny, just a brilliant story you should go check out.

The One With The STD - @redlipstickandplaid Dude. Seriously dude! Fuck Bucky and Fuck Nat!  Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh.  This is so fabulously written that I am really really fucking angry at fictional characters right now so well done.

Table for Three - @marvelouswritings What was that? Oh, never mind that was just the sound of my heart breaking into a billion pieces.  I swear to god I have never hated Bucky more than I do reading this series.  Right now I am soooooo Team Sam or even Team Steve.  

Love Me Honestly - @brighterlights The sequel to one of my all time favourite series and it does not disappoint!  The adventures of reader and Bucky continue and it is super sweet and cute and lovely.

Liar - @iwillbeinmynest There are times when I just want to wrap Tony Stark up in a fluffy blanket and cuddle him like a human burrito until everything is better and this fic plays to that side of me perfectly.  Sleep deprived, working himself too hard to save everyone Tony is a weakness of mine and this fic hit me right where I knew it would and now I want to go write more Tony myself.

Originally posted by tree--frog

Star Trek:

Darlin’ - @musingsongbird McCoy is one sexy bastard and I TOTALLY get this kink.  Beautifully crafted smut here for over 18′s enjoyment.  Definitely a fun one to wake up to.

Frustrated - @kaitymccoy123 Scotty SMUT!!! (please consider that a warning, no under 18′s please)  This is the writers first time writing smut and it is far better than I can ever write! This piece is worth the cold shower.

What I Never Knew I Always Wanted - @pinkamour1588 I love Scotty and I love fluff so imagine how amazingly ecstatic I was to stumble across this beautifully written little piece!  This wonderful writer deserves a follow so go read this and then lurk in her blog just like I am doing wahahaha.

Originally posted by deadpoolsheik

Other Fandoms and Fics:

Like A Wildflower - @team-durin Oh please please feel free to tag me in any and all fics about my favourite dwarf!  A little Fili is always appreciated and jealous Fili is even more super yummy plus you get Kili being an adorable shit too!  Fantastic.

Home Before Midnight - @another-tmnt-writer So this is possibly one of the cutest things I have ever read!  Donatello as Cinderella is just…*sigh*.  I wish I had some requests for this amazing writer but until I do I will just scroll through a wonderful blog with fabulous writing.

Swept Off My Feet (Part 10, Finale)

Swept Off My Feet (Part 10, Finale)

Misha x Reader

Word Count: 895

Warnings: just fluff.

A/N: Sorry for the abrupt ending, but I lost motivation for this somewhere along the way. But, being me, I can’t stop something when it’s not finished. So, here is the finale. Enjoy, y’all.

Swept Off My Feet Master List

You smiled as you placed a hand on one of the white wooden cribs that Misha had slaved over for the past four weeks. Building furniture was no joke, but he had a talent for piecing things together, no matter how many thousands of pieces it took. But it made your heart flutter knowing he wanted to build the cribs for his two sons by hand.

You furrowed your brow as you noticed the one closest to you was sitting slightly crooked. “Misha!” you called out for him. He was downstairs, probably making lunch. You had moved in with him, into his home in Vancouver, after he begged you at least a dozen times. It wasn’t hard to find a local animal hospital that needed a front office manager. It was a change of scenery from the shelter, but you loved it all the same.

After a few minutes, you sighed. He probably had his headphones in and couldn’t hear you. So, you’d just have to move the heavy object yourself. You gripped the corner of the crib and pushed, quickly becoming winded. The fucking thing didn’t even budge. Shit.

Keep reading

spy intervention

Originally posted by mountean

pairing: kwon soonyoung/reader

word count: about 1k+ of full-on nonsense

genre: ‘I walked into the public bathroom at a mcdonalds and you’re dangling halfway out of an air vent do I even want to know what you were doing’ AU this is basically a slight crack

what a lame title for something that’s only going to be mentioned once hgjdksl

the 2am moon-chilled air brushed up against your leg, raising its short hairs to stand like the spikes of a cactus plant. you pulled your mid-thigh shorts down. it moved about an inch, but you still pretended the extra stretch provided your legs warmth.

“just a quick snack stop!” your cousin spouted over to you, already near the white pavement leading up to the infamous fastfood entrance way. Her short legs briskly swiping past each other in her haste to get to the line quicker than any of the other bystanders bystanding nearby.  

you rolled your eyes in her direction, slamming the truck door shut and following in after her. the autumn breeze kissed harshly on your exposed limbs from the movement, and you clenched your hands on each side of your arms.

‘couldn’t we just go to the one near dad’s house?’ you brooded.

the one with the drive-thru ー why on earth would your cousin choose this one when the one near your father’s house was easier to get to, with better service and everything? and it doesn’t help that you’ve got to pee. you just wanted to make it to your dad’s house so you could settle in, wash up, and relax. the faster y’all get there the better, but it seemed though your cousin had other plans.

you braced your hands upon the glass door, sliding it open to enter the ー sigh ー air conditioned building. you sighed again, shaking your head as you measly walked past the three heads stood at the counter line, minus your cousin.

you pushed past the women’s restroom door, and gently closed it behind you. you were about to take another step forward when something just above your field of vision caught your eye. You looked up, and there he was.

a red-faced, chubby-cheeked, east asian manー

ーdangling from the ceiling.

a gasp escaped your lips at the sight and the stranger’s wiggling came to a halt. he stared at you, it was a long and awkward stare, and you could see the sweat beading at his roots and dropping onto the floor in front of you. you could tell that he was holding on too his breath; his nostrils flared as his cheeks puffed. he looked down for a moment and then brought his gaze back up to you.

“hi.”

you blinked up at him and looked around, rubbing your sleeved arm with your left hand. “hey.”

silence filled up the empty space between you two, whilst you could still hear the sizzling and gushing of the workers outside the restroom door. you faintly heard your cousins voice peep out a ‘yeah, can i get a fucking, uhhhhhー” and realized you had to speed this process up.

“so,” you started. “are you gonna, uh, be up there forever?”

you visibly winced. what kind of question was that? but you tried to shrug it off, i mean, who could prepare you to have a conversation with a man of the ceiling in the women’s restroom? how would anyone react in this situation? i mean, at least if it were a strangeーerーstranger manーuhーless strange man in the bathroom here to assault you, you would have time to curse him out and maybe even hit him over the head a little, if you could reach. but this dude, right here? nah. brain machine broke.

“uh,” his voice brought you out of your reverie and you swiftly glanced at him. “no, actually. i was trying climb downー

“ーbut you see, the sink’s too low for me to reach and so is this vent, i can’t turn around.” he looked at you sheepishly and shrugged.

your face morphed into a look of judgement, your hand rising at your side. “what are you doing up there in the first place?” did you even want to know?

the man flinched at your accusative tone. his mood visibly changed into one of discomfort, more than it had before. he shifted his eyes one way to another, ears darkening from a merry pink to a flaming red.

“i-i was,” he stammered, not once looking you in the eye. he paused for quite a few moments, until he heard your cousin’s voice call out to you.

“(Y/N)?!”

“coming!” you shrieked back, shifting your attention from the door behind your back to the guy in front.

he nervously spat out. “uh, i-i was practicing to be a spy!”

“what?!” you spluttered immediately after those words reached your ears. your brows furrowed up. 

“how old are you, again?” you asked, despite not having had asked him once. you knew he must’ve imediately caught onto the implications of your question as he inched into the air and posed comically with his lips parted rather dramatically.

“i’m twenty-one, actually!” he quipped defensively. “a-and i’m serious! i’ve been to a pre-interview and everything! i just need to up my skills, and,” he looked down. “as you can see, i’m getting there.”

‘barely,’ you scowled in your head. “well, if you could get down from there i’ve gotta-” you moved quickly to a stall.

“wait!” he reached his hand in your direction, crying out. “m-maybe you can help me down from here?”

you stopped to watch him for a moment, all kinds of adverse thoughts circling in your brain before you realized you really had to get a move on. rolling your eyes, you responded. “fine.”

you jogged the small distance to the other side of the room near the sinks, and looked up at him for guidance. he smiled at you before reaching his arms out your way. you shakily reached yours up and clasped on his hands. his fingers wriggled out of your grasp and clutched onto the thick sleeves of your hoodie. you heard his body shift from inside the vent as his meaty paws ran down your arm until he could grab onto your biceps, which he then leaned his weight onto you as he carefully slid the rest of his body down.

your body wavered from the onslaught of his weight pressed upon you, stumbling back and forth on the tiles as your face scrunched in concentration. the dust and grime from the vents flew from underneath him and sifted inside your nasal cavities.

that done it.

you threw your head back to force the dirt away from your face. your legs wavered beneath you and finally you couldn’t handle the wait of this man.

the dude felt you stumble, and quickly and tightly held onto your upper arms as he screamed “ah! ah!” loudly into your eardrum.

you winced, the heels of your shoes stuttering against the ceramic floors and suddenly you both found your two bodies sprawled out across the dirty floors of the mcdonald’s bathroom. you heaved with his weight on top of you and he sputtered into your shoulder.

“i’m-” he started, unfortunately not finishing before your cousin stormed straight into the room with you two.

“(Y/N)!” she bellowed. she was holding up a slip of paper and pointing at it. “we’ve got our number already, what are you-” she hitched, and stared at you and the man with wide eyes.

“y-you are?” she fumbled, “i-in the w-women’s bathroom?! (Y/N) are you okay?!” she rushed to your side, wrenching the dude’s body off from yours and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“what are you doing in the women’s bathroom and why?! i should call the police on you, you know!”

the man was visibly shaken up, raising his hands in protest. “n-no! i-”

“i don’t want to hear any excuses! what i know is that this counts as sexual harrassment and i’m not gonna let you ge-”

“wait!” you interrupted, quickly pulling yourself up from the floor and firmly grasping your cousin by her shoulders. she whipped her head around to glance at you, lips opened wide enough to give you a piece of her mind. “he’s not an assailant! i swear!”

her resolve weakened at your defense. she looked back and forth between you and the frazzled man.

”a-are you sure?” she glared in the dude’s direction before slowly lowering her arm. she turned to you.

“well, uhh” she paused awkwardly. “are you ready to go?” you sent a soft smile at her and nodded weakly.

“w-wait,” the stranger called out. “i can make it up for this. let me pay!”

“i already paid.” your cousin responded, waving her ticket in his face.

the dude slumped his shoulders, looking evidently shut down. your cousin grabbed your arm before any more words could slip past anyone’s lips. she lead you to the door before young dude pressed again.

“w-well. let me buy you something, o-on me! like a drink or a-a giftcard!”

a ‘pfft’ sound left your cousins lips at the mention of the word ‘giftcard’ and the man seemed genuinely embarrassed. she pulled at your arm again, urging you to just leave the restroom once and for all, but you didn’t budge. you looked at the quirked lipped fellow over your shoulder before you rotated your body to fully face him.

“actually,” you started, and his gaze lifted from between his feet to your eyes. “i could really go for a mcfrappe right about now. caramel, with extra whip cream.”

he blinked, but then the corners of lips rose into a mischievous grin.

“i’m soonyoung. kwon soonyoung.” he bowed. “and i believe your name was (Y/N)?”

he glanced up at you with a grin on his visage. he didn’t move from his position, simply awaiting you for your feedback. you grinned in return.

your cousin listened in on this exchange in awe, her grip on your arm loosening until it just hung between your body like some sort of separator. she stared at you in disbelief and then at soonyoung in distrust.

“are you serious?” you both glanced at her, and in perfect sync, answered in union.

“yes.”


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anonymous asked:

Anyways, I think you're a nice person and a good artist, but that 'Mercy is everyone's doctor in canon' argument isn't true, and I wanted to just clarify that. This aside, I hope you have a wonderful day. (Fin)

thanks for these messages, i definitely agree with the points on gameplay vs lore and these points have definitely been on my mind for a while

I know the gameplay mechanics are not entirely canon, but i feel like the game itself is an ongoing dialogue between prior knowledge and new material, so it’s best to think critically about the game with both lore and gameplay in mind. if we took the game absolutely literally, we’d assume widow and tracer were on the same side because they played on the same team for quick play. 

but the game has implications through gameplay, and such is described through character descriptions and other lore based characterizations! mercy is overwatch’s head doctor, so it is assumed if one is underneath the overwatch name is under her care or at least consults with her, so i think others should keep that in mind. who even is in overwatch at this point is quite muddled, as well, like pharah hasn’t officially joined nor has junk or roadie. but in the game, they are implied to be candidates for joining the organization or the enemy side, talon. i believe the goal of the game/lore is to have the entire cast as member of overwatch, but i may be wrong!

gency definitely gets the brunt of the doctor/patient critique because she outright helped with his cyborgization, but it’s important to know that lines between mccree, soldier and reaper imply a doctor/patient relationship, but i don’t see even half the hate concerning that in those ship tags =/

I can completely understand why people don’t like gency, but for me the fact that she isn’t a psychological doctor but one of science and research is what keeps me from being like =/. because at the end of the day she holds no answer to genji’s mental well being, and post-recall she is merely a person holding her own in the middle east and sharing amicable letters with a former patient. (I do not believe blackwatch genji was mentally stable enough to have a relationship with anyone!!! let alone mercy).

to end this long piece alls i gots to say is that i like gency a lot, i don’t blame you if you look at gency and just are like “nah” but tbh i don’t really like having to go on these long winded rants trying to justify a ship that i just took a liking to in febuary after just buying the game. i heard about the chocolate voice lines and was like awww then came online to see such negative treatment of gency shippers and constant ongoing discourse. 

discourse like this is totally cool, flaws exist in relationships. sometimes i see shit in ow ships and literally stamp my foot down and huff about how fucked up that thing is, but i really bite my tongue. gen/zen is a really important ship to some people but it’s not my cup of tea due to many personal reasons, ones similar to those used in anti gency arguments (lol), but id never hit up their tag with anything. i can also see why people think it’d be cute though! if they’re consensual, mentally healthy adults, i dont see a dire problem that needs to be addressed, ya know?

hope you have a great day too!

Roommate Agreement (Final)

Summary: Based off of this: a superhero story where the villain and the superhero are roommates and they keep making excuses to each other about why they are out all the time and they stitch each other up after battles but neither has any idea that the other is their nemesis and they keep on having to lie to each other why they are covered in scratches and bruises. (Modern-Day Alternate Universe Drabble Series)

Author’s Note: And I’m done. Kinda half-assed it, so sorry if it sucks. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 453

Previous Part: Part Fifteen

Originally posted by thefirstgingerdoctor

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Bleach 686


Guys, this is the last time I’m ever gonna address anything regarding bleach. I hope everyone respects that, especially the people who are gonna go anon and bash me for posting this after everything.

Firstly:

 The last chapters of bleach were pure disappointment not because my two main ships didn’t work out the way I wanted it to but I couldn’t really make any sense of it. I’m sorry as a manga, bleach really lost its pace. I spent 10 years with this manga and I was here to see till the end. I invested a lot of time and energy into this fandom and everything. I really expected better from Kubo.

Second:

 I’m really happy for princess. She finally has a loving family and a child. I’m glad that she’s with Ichigo. If IchiHime was meant to be from the start then why so much emphasis on IchiRuki. He could have given  Orihime so much character development. So much more but no he made it seem as if she only existed for Ichigo. I actually believed that Kubo was one of those writers that would actually make IshiHime canon.

Reasons:

  • IshiHime was a ship that could have portrayed the fact that, you don’t always find love in the places you look for but sometimes you find it in the most unexpected places, from a person that loved you from the start even though you never loved them back.  This is coming from my personal experiance entirely I’ve liked this guy for 5 years and IshiHime really gave me hope that one day I will find someone that will love me as much as I love them.

Orihime was a very decent and humble character. I loved her and enjoyed her warm and caring nature but she could have been such a badass as an individual. She was never mean or a bitch to anyone ever and neither was Rukia (please do note that) I dont understand why would he put Ichigo and Rukia together panel after panel with all his shippy gear on. Orihime had more better interactions with Chad and Uryu than she ever had with Ichigo. If Kubo had sold her and Ichigo as black sun and white sun from the start, man I would have shipped the shit out of it.

Third: I hated how Kubo made Chad and Uryuu something that they never wanted to be.

Uryu hated his dad most his life. He never wanted to follow his dads footsteps, which is why the song numb by linkin park reminded me of him so much. He had been misunderstood by most of his friends and even the readers in the first chapters but that cunty, snooty boy came to understand that friendship is one of the most strongest bond to exist. This arc should have  been about him and Ichigo abd their past and origins. Ichigo, who kept getting his bankai broken over and over again. Why couldn’t they just tag team the two of them for the last time?
Uryu didn’t have a mother, his father treated him as a low life runt. Even Isshin tried. He did try to understand Ichigo not with the best method to do so but he still tried where as Uryu’s father didn’t. I think Orihime and Uryu really deserved each other. In an alternate ending I could have imagined him to be a world class designer and Orihime by his side doing whatever makes her happy perhaps a very nice cafe with interesting serving, where the customers only came to eat and would be disappointed by the food but melt and forget the bad taste the food left on their mouth as soon as Orihime would flash her beautiful smile at them (Sigh).

Chad promised he’d never hurt anyone with his fists but help others lol. Really? a boxer? I hated this THE MOST. Chad really deserved better, even though he looked hot as fuck in the panels where he was shown. I think he should have owned a record store or made good mexican music or he could have been the doctor or worked at Kurosaki clinic or something, anything other than being a boxer would have suited him more.

Fourth: Why didn’t Kubo show or complete the states that the other characters were in. I really hoped they would show some Jinta/Yuzu or something regarding Urahara and Yoruichi who helped Ichigo achieve bankai and trained him so he could be strong and protect his friends.
Is Isshin Kurosaki dead? because that would just be sad. I could imagine him to be a great grandparent to Kazui. Kubo really should have at least mentioned this much but he didn’t. I could go on and on about how bad the chapter was but I’m gonna stop now and start pouring my shipper heart out.

Last and the most important topic I wanted to address is my otp, IchiRuki.

I’m sorry to all the IchiRuki shippers that got their hearts and hoped shattered into a million pieces after 686. I feel betrayed and angry as well but let’s not be pricks and be the bigger person. I’m gonna make a request to all IchiHime shippers.
Firstly, congrats guys, princess finally ended up with the man of her dreams as an IchiRuki shipper I never hated on her or said anything mean about her. I’m glad that she’s happy even though it’s not boy I wanted her to end up with but despite everything, I am genuinely happy for her.

Second, I would be really happy if some of you weren’t not so hostile to IchiRuki shippers, please understand that a lot of people found peace in this ship and now they are a mess. Be humble comfort us, Orihime would never been like “yeah bitch I got the dude” instead she would tried and comfort us IchiRuki shippers, she would’ve started crying for an hour, binged on so much ice cream that she would get a tummy ache and fall asleep.

The picture above is the picture of the last IchiRuki coloured page I had made. I was so proud of this and now every time I open my notebook. I feel sad, beyond words. Ichigo and Rukia were the definition of soulmates. I wanted them to be together so bad. I can’t really express it in words about how I feel. I don’t remember a single day where I did not visit the IchiRuki tag. I’m disappointed a lot. So much build up for nothing. Kubo seemed like he threw the idea of IR down the window so suddenly, that I can’t even cope with it. I’d rather have dead characters than an ass pull ending like this. It’s so shitty and rushed. I feel like crying. I invested so much I don’t know what to do with all these beautiful colored pages I had made for this amazing ship. I’m devastated. Laugh at me all you want but I am so depressed with the ending. From the beginning I could see the chemistry and the electricity that Rukia and Ichigo gave off when they interacted. The SS arc, which is my most favorite arc was the biggest pillar that IchiRuki has something more than friendship. A bond of love and trust and what not lol I guess I’m a little delusional. Let’s take  moment to honor this beautiful ship one more time and move on. Thank you every good anon, some great blogs like @peachtiger, @icchiruki, @50shadesofichigo, @daethberry, @ishihime-4-ever and so many more. Thank you, I respect and love each one of you. Stay strong, this bond will always be unbreakable but still life goes on and we all have to move on.

Kubo really fucked up and the worst part is they plan to make a live action movie which I doubt will sell shit. I would never pay a dime to just watch actors waste their time by portraying incomplete roles lol.

Anyways I’m done. Thank you everyone, the Bleach, Ginran, IshiHime and Ichiruki fandom I love each and every one of you. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions and heartache and its time to move on. I’ll still follow all the blogs that I followed for IchiRuki and IshiHime. Have a nice life bleach fandom for as you lost one hardcore dedicated reader.

Thank you and Au Revoir.  💙 💙

Side note: I am extremely addled at the moment as I write this post. So sorry in advance if I managed to piss any of you off.

Oh and dont you dare and try to steal that great art. Thanks in advance. Much love. xoxo 💙 💙