i dont even know with this man

Cartwheel
Zaggar/Zanerva?, G
Modern AU, but Zarkon is still a giant turtle man because anytime i tried to conjure a mental image of him as a human I literally drew a blank. The Target thing… I have no explanation or excuse, and no regrets.

For @eatyourgrapes who’s been feeling down lately, which is unacceptable. Hope you feel better soon, dear. <3


Honerva didn’t believe in fate.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t believe in things she didn’t see; she believed in subatomic particles, in string theory and the multiverse, things she could examine with the scientific method or mathematics. She had never visited the stars she’d studied, but that didn’t make them less real, or make the content of her dissertation less valid. Astrophysics implied that one had faith in things one could not see or touch, and Honerva believed in them. But she didn’t believe that it was fate that had put her on a path to studying astrophysics, which had led her a friendship with the CEO of Altea Enterprises, which had led to a job heading the orbital division of Daibazaal Incorporated and a meeting with its CEO, which had led to one date and then another and then a third. It wasn’t fate that had led Zarkon to decide it was preferable to stay the night her one-bedroom apartment, rather than both of them going back to his luxury penthouse downtown. It wasn’t fate that had led him to trip over Kova (the cat just had a talent for knowing when and where to be to cause chaos) and spill red wine all over the carpet on the exact day she ended up running out of paper towels. It was simply the motion of the universe.

But, standing in the Target down the street from her apartment with a six-pack of Up&Up paper towels under one arm and no sign of Zarkon anywhere, Honerva wondered if perhaps there was a force known as fate acting upon her life. If so, she had obviously caused a major disturbance in it at some point, because not only had she looked at the nearly-empty roll of paper towels and thought it’ll be fine, I’ll get some this weekend about five minutes before Zarkon had called to say he was on his way over, but she’d been gifted with the unique experience of having a significant other who had never before in his life set foot in a Target.

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hi, since i have no want to finish this anymore, you can have this old ass thing (and maybe two other things)

this was a meouch thing and it was gonna be good™ but i just. dont wanna finish it now so here u go. (u even get to see my stupid note of ‘oh shit i gotta fix this’ and ‘am i gonna finish this’)

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thru-the-mirror  asked:

Casual Sidon in a tank top 😍👌🏻

I made this with my own two hands and I still can’t believe how ridiculous and annoyingly pretty I designed this man.

I really tried to do “casual” again but then the eyeliner happened and I couldnt stop myself. Nothing is casual about sidon anyways so I’ll give myself a B - and a pat on the back for effort.

As the oldest brother of six I’d like to present y’all with some broganes headcanons
  •  Shiro just, constantly teasing Keith about his crush… like, CONSTANTLY
    • “Keith, you look at Lance like he’s a titanium bowie knife or some shit just tell him you wanna kiss his stupid face and get over it”
    • “Keith, when Lance gets near you so much blood runs to your face if you got so much as a paper cut you’d probably bleed to death, its not good for battle”
    • “Im not that smitten takashit so fuck off” “You had the words ‘Keith Mcclain’ written on your notebook for the entirety of your time at the Garrison.”
    • Shiro impersonating how Keith’s voice gets lower and more macho™ around Lance
    • “Your crush on lance reminds me of the time you stanned shark boy from shark boy and lava girl in middle school” “Hey, Shark Boy made me gay watch what you say” “Im gonna read your fanfic at your guys’ wedding” “Say what you please as long as you burn all copies of Loves Bites”
  • Keith thinks it’s so strange when everybody sees him as this High Figure Of Command Who You Dont Mess With™ because Keith knows way too much abt him to see him like that.
    • “God Shiro’s so cool I wish i was like him.” “Senior year of high school Shiro ate a can of cheez whiz for lunch every. day.”
    • “How can Shiro be such an adult, he’s so responsible” “Are you kidding me? He once put a jar of nutella in the microwave cause he wanted to melt it to make chocolate sauce for his ice cream and almost burnt the house down.”
    • “Shiro’s so composed” “On his first date with Matt, he closed his eyes to kiss him good bye and kissed his glasses”
  • Shiro trying everything he can think of to try to help Keith hit on Lance
    • “How’d you get with Matt?” “You’re asking the epitome of the wrong guy, I dont even know” “Didn’t you like, write him a letter to ask for his number” “I asked pidge for their address, wrote a letter, stamped it and mailed it with the words ‘Lemme get them digits’ enclosed cause i thought it’d be cool….”
    • “Shiro how do I even know he’s even BI! The dude barley even so much at looks at dudes…” “He said ‘razzle dazzle’ while flying keith. razzle fucking dazzle
  • Eventually Shiro is just done and starts trying to take matters into his own hands
    • “Lance, top ten Man crushes go.” 
    • “Lance you need to start getting along better with Keith, maybe just go into Black with , him go for a ride together, stop on a nice alien planet, have a picnic, stare into each others eyes, realize you l-” ‘TAKASHI
    • “Lance, hypothetically speaking, if you had to kiss one person on the team, who would u choose :3?”
  • Keith is really into pokemon and whenever Shiro tries to participate and be supportive he embarrasses himself
    • “I wanna open up a real life pokemon gym” “What theme would it be? like bug?” “YEAH SHIRO, UH UH UH YEAH, TAKASHI, IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT. THAT’S WHAT I WANT, I WANT TO SHIT OUT BADGES TO EVERY HAM AND EGGER WHO COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR. ‘go caterpie!’ That’s me you fucking imbecile. “Do your best kakuna” “…. I’m gonna go”
ISSA STORYTIME

Ok I’m bored so ima tell y’all a wild ass story that happened to me first semester of my college experience; the story of when I got laced by a wild thot with some CRACK. Let’s get into the tea gorls

So I went to art school for communications design. I dont go there no more because it was hella racist, but a different story for a different day. The campus I went to was way up north, in Utica. Never heard of it? Didn’t think you would. Just imagine if the worst neighborhood in Detroit was an entire town with like no people and cows. I don’t know about y’all but at my school we had this thing called late night where we get snacks and shit in the cafeteria after dinner. I was one of 6 black boys in my entire school so it was always dry. So this particular late night I had got a pink wig and started fucking around and giving these crackers some life to entertain myself. My extra ass being who I was did stand-up for the entire night. Since it was early in the school year tho I aint really have no solid friends, so the people who I was gonna go smoke with finished their food and left me like some fucking snakes. When I was done I was deep in my feelings lol because bitch…..you gon spark up…..without me???

I was like “y’know what idgaf, I don’t need you niggas” because I’m likable, right? I could talk to anyone I wanted and make friends. That’s what my dumb ass thought even though I knew damn well these all were some back woods ass white people from Cousin Fucker Nowhere. So I’m standing in front of the dorms like “ok, if I was a white person who loved giving free weed to negroes, what would I look like?” and as though Satan himself heard me, this girl wearing dem Jerusalem B.Cs (you know what I’m talmbout) and a bright jacket that had to be from the thrift store because it smelled like pickled dick and horse radish extract walked past. I was like DING DING DING, gotcha Becky!! So I was like “omg hi sis, I always see you in class and I think your style is so cool blah blah” and all that fake shit. Naturally Linda felt gassed af and immediately offered to let me smoke with her. Yeah, yah boi got it like that.

But mama ain’t raise no fool and I seent Get Out so I don’t go nowhere with a white person without at least one other poc with me. So this couple I’m good friends with now was walking out of the dorms, we just gon call them Peanut & Jelly. They were quiet and both shy people so they didnt hang out much yet. They were also native and latino which was good enough for me so my loud ass was like “Aye, y’all smoke??” it’s 2017 so of course they smoke and I invite them to come smoke some of Margret’s weed. Consider it reparations. Since they ain’t have no friends they were happy to come join us. Smh y’all if you see this I’m so sorry I got y’all into this lmao. Anyway Trisha was like “Super duper the more the merrier, let’s go :))” with her wild ass. But I remembered I still had some of my own weed left so we ran to my room and got it, but I ain’t have no bag to carry it in. So Ingrid said “Oh, I have a bag you can put it in” and pulled out this ashy ass ziploc bag. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE. But my clueless ass thought she just had some plaster or some shit in there before since we went to an art school. Smdh.

Originally posted by ihiphop

Shortly before we depart Peanut and I are getting everything together and making sure there’s no smell. While this is happening Jelly watches Rebecca spread some “dust” on her gums. RED FLAG NUMBER TWO. This nigga thought it was candy dust or something. No one in this equation is particularly bright. But anywhore, we started making moves to this parking lot/roof that we usually hung out at. I was hoping my friends fake asses would be there so I could ditch Jill’s ass. Peanut & Jelly I ain’t mind because they were cool once you got them to talk. I could tell they weren’t feelin Harriet tho lol and tbh neither was I but would your ass turn down a completely free spark up??? Didn’t think so. We get to the roof finally and I start checking my jacket to find I forgot my mini bong in my room. So Elizabeth is like “Oooh awesome we can smoke out of my pipe!” and I’m like lol you bougie ass bitch just call it a bowl. But my fake ass just said “Litty gorl, load that shit up!” thats exactly what I get. She starts loading her “pipe” up and I notice both my weed and hers lookin a lil ashy. AND THATS RED FLAG NUMBER THREE

It’s like 11 at night tho and we only had street lights so I didn’t wanna call Susan out and end up lookin a fool if it was nothing. So I just let her do her thing and pull out my lighter so we can make it do what it do ya feel? So we smokin and I’m having a pretty good time. I feel proud of myself and shit for scamming little Mary Ellen and getting a full spark up after my niggas rolled out on me. I’m like “haha bitch you did that and you high as fuck”. Me being the funny nigga I am in my head, I make myself laugh. Then I realize for someone who smokes pretty regularly and only had two hits, I was already shmizzed for some reason. I look over at Peanut & Jelly and both them niggas lookin like

“Already??? Huh, that’s weird”, young nigga Kam thought to himself. But once again it was free weed so I shut my Nancy Drew ass up and let it go. Debra passes the “pipe” to me and I hit it harder this time because I ain’t pay for it so ima get mines. Because I hit it so hard I kinda taste it and bitch, that shit tasted like Mary J. Bliges leather boots and plastic. So I’m like “yo Amanda, what’s good with your bowl the weed taste weird?” And it ain’t like weed has a particularly good taste but I know it damn sure don’t taste like that. Emily proceeds to say “I don’t think anything’s wrong with the weed, might be the other stuff tho” As soon as she said that shady shit Peanut and I’s heads snapped to look at her like “Bitch….what other stuff??”

Jelly at this point is checked the fuck out, like this nigga is walking through space or some shit. That might just be him tho cause that nigga always acts weird when he high smh. That ain’t the point tho. This raggedy Ann ass hoe starts giggling and laughing like someone said something fuckin funny. I’m sitting there confused and high as shit still got the fucking pink wig on, Peanut got her ass riled up and with good reason because we both know we just asked ole girl a question. So Peanut says one more gain “Did you put some shit in the fucking weed?”. By now I think Amber realizes the joke is nay and she’s close to getting stomped out. Here comes the climax of the story y’all. This bitch gon roll her eyes like we being extra and say “lol it’s fine, we just smoked out of my crack pipe and I haven’t cleaned it yet” When I tell you the entire world went silent, I heard SZA wheezing into her microphone miles away. My ass, Peanut ass, and even Jelly incapacitated ass was all like

“…wut?”

Jelly just started laughing like he just heard the funniest thing ever in his whole life. Peanut was staring at Tina like she was preparing her alibi for the police when they find that lil girl’s body. And me, you ask? I was just thinkin bout my girl Whitney. Like sis, is this how it started for you? I was looking at Rachel all hurt. Et tu Becky? All a nigga wanted was some weed and now my ass sitting on a roof high off crack. Suddenly time returns to normal and the only thing my faded ass can muster is a “Pardon me???” Helen continues to chuckle like she Tiffany Haddish up in this bitch and tells us that she smokes crack and weed out of that bowl sometimes, and that we had placed the collective weed in her coke bag. Jelly stupid ass still in the corner laughing to keep from crying because I knew that baby voiced nigga was scared. I’m so astounded at this point that I can’t even drag this wild ass bitch. Peanut however, is not me. Lort I never seen anyone but my momma yolk somebody up so fast! She smooth slid across that asphalt like

Grabbed Ellie, and said “BITCH HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??” and started shaking that bitch like she was tryna give her shaken baby syndrome. Jelly managed to get himself together enough to try and keep his girl from going to jail. What was I doing? Well I knew I had a choice, I could help Peanut throw Taylor off the roof, or I could help Jelly keep our good sis from catchin a charge. So I chose the smartest option. MY ASS STARTED TO HIT FOOT.

That shit wasn’t none of my business no more!! Bitch the link up is over! The deck is DONE. I could already hear my momma belt whoopin my crack head ass in my mind, no thank you ma’am! My black ass was done for the night. As I’m running back towards campus I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to find Jelly running behind me, dragging Peanut along by the hand. Chloe however, is nowhere to be found. I ain’t stop running tho. Was it fear, was it anger, was it the adrenaline pushing me to run? Nah I was on crack so it was prolly that lol. We run until we’re two blocks away from campus and I’m finally too tired to run, which surprised me because I always assumed crackheads were just like the enegizer bunny. So we’re catching our breath and I’m tryna keep from falling over because I feel hella whoozy, but I manage to ask “What happened to Bobby?” Peanut proceeds to tell me she took one good fist, and dropped Katy like a bad habit. I was proud of sis too because she’s twig thin and I thought she was meek af. We start walking back to the dorms and all 3 of us are just silent. Ain’t nobody got shit to say bitch we on crack. Peanut and I lived 2 doors down from each other so they go in her room and I go in mine after we say our good nights. I go in my room and my roommate is there with his boyfriend. Immediately my roommate is like “lol you’re high af” and my overly trusting ass gon tell him “This girl laced the weed with crack”. This cracker ass bitch gon look at me and say “oh really…..are you ok?” like I just got into a small argument. Like nigga….I GOT LACED WITH CRACK DO I LOOK OK???

So I sit down and start watching videos on my laptop to try and distract myself from my anxiety because a nigga was SHOOKT to the core. My roommate and his boyfriend were just watching me like I was a good ass episode of something. I don’t blame ‘em tho, I looked wild af. I was twitching, teetering, and sweating like shit even though it was late September in upstate New York. Now this fake ass bitch gon take a snapchat video of my crackhead ass trippin and put it on his story for everyone to see. Needless to say after that day ain’t nobody fuck with Molly ever again. One good thing did come out of it tho, Peanut, Jelly, and I became real tight after that. And what became of Becky you ask? She made sure to steer clear of all 3 of us and my friends lol because they threatened to cut that hoe. Moral of the story children? Don’t trust white people.

6

Hongbin vs. Makeup 💄

Cute past!Ardyn with his black chocobo *_*
I want to know more about Ardyn’s past life before he became evil guy…

John: There’s no such thing as witches                                                           

Paul: There are!                                                                                             

John: Oh no there ain’t!                                                                                           

Paul: Oh yes there are!                                                                                   

John: I say there ain’t!                                                                                       

Paul: *sputtering* Oh yes there is there im te there ther is There is!

George: *arm spasming* Okay Okay we’ll prove it we’ll visit her                     

John: Right, this way   

Paul: No this way 

John: *smacking Ringo* This way! 

Paul:*smacking George* This way!  

John: *basically screaming*THIS WAY

Paul: I said this way i said-

other things that need to stop in the ST fandom in 2017

  • people asking charlie and natalia if theyre dating
  • people asking charlie and joe if theyre gay
  • people asking charlie natalia and joe any questions pertaining to their sex lives whatsoever
  • people calling david harbour daddy on instagram

*looks into the camera like she’s on the office*
tfw when u hurt and ur boyfrend has 2 carry u lmao lyk and subrscirble