i dont even know what you guys call it

Rick: *jumps out of the portal* “Be careful morty, everyone here except 3 people is horrifically short and nobody knows why.”

Morty: “Gee rick thats- that’s kind of offensive y’know.”

Rick: “Well it’s true morty, besides, they don’t really seem to care. everything is sunshine and rainbows to them… well except this one guy.”

Morty: “Doesn’t that get old? y’know like-like-like sesame street or something? i mean they gotta have some seriousness sometimes.”

Rick: “Yeah its almost just like sesame street morty, they’re puppets and they dont even know it.”

Morty: “What about those 3 other people you were talking about? The normal sized people?”

Rick: “Two of them are obnoxious as fuck morty, they never stop moving, they sing about exercise.”

Morty: “Wh-what about the other one?”

Rick: “He’s an evil genius… or at least thats what he likes to call himself. Oh, here he comes now- ROBBIE ROTTEN! YOU UNHEALTHY BASTARD HOW ARE YOU?”

What the actual fuck?!?

Ok ok, people have probably written a shitton of meta about this by now, but please allow me to add my humble two cents because …

I CANT OMG IM SCREAMING! DID YOU SEE?!?! DID YOU ALL SEE THIS WONDERFUL WONDERFUL THING CALLED EPISODE 10?!?

I dont even know what my favorite part of this episode is, because EVERTHING HAS BEEN PURE GOLD - AND IM NOT ONLY SPEAKING OF THE FUCKING GOLDEN BANDS THEY EXCHANGED OMG

Bands that - mind you! - YUURI BOUGHT FOR VIKTOR OMG I CANT BUT … ok, deep breaths, one - two - three …

The fact that Yuuri knew all these guys from last year gp’s gala is priceless! He showed them all his GODDAMN EROS BACK THEN ALREADY!! 

AND EXCUSE YOU IT’S SO OBVIOUS THAT VIKTOR ALREADY FELL HARD FOR YUURI THAT VERY NIGHT, YES MA’AM HE DID, IF YOU DISAGREE COME AND FITE ME!!

Also (sorry for jumping back and forth but im actually HELLA EXCITED IF YOU COULDNT TELL!!): “This is an ENGAGEMENT RING”?!?!?!?

“We’re going to get MARRIED ONCE YURI WON A GOLD MEDAL!”?!?!?!?

Oh shiT! Oh God! Help me, I am dying over here!!!!

Hahahaha, also, Otabek and Yuri, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. These two are so precious! No one ever asked my poor salty son to be their friend? WELL, FUCKING FINALLY I’D SAY!!! 

Ok, the screen is getting kinda blurry - or is that just the happy tears im crying? ASDFGHJKL!!! 

I LOVE YOU ALL, THIS WAS AMAZING! GNITE!!!

I forgot to mention my darling Phichit - thank you for telling the whole restaurant about the lovey-dovey-couple getting engaged hahaha

Operator

[prompt: au phil is a gay sex phone operator and curious teen dan becomes one of his regulars (2009)]

i may or may not have named this after shiloh’s song…………….. what a classic!!!

oohoohohoho i saw this on dandongs and i was like “ooh let me like write this real quick” and i wrote it in a day so sry if its shit

also, thank you for 800 followers????? omg what like im literally a shoe like i dont even know why you guys follow me and read my fics damn thank you!!!!

(i apologize if your name is lindsey or darren btw and my definition of twink is not the actual definition so if you dont know what a twink is pls go over to urbandictionary.com or something)

[Contains: phone sex (ooooh this is new), tons of dirty talk, name calling, vibrator usage (what), 2009!phan, literally just dirty talk tbh, a lil bit of fluff at the end maybe]

_____________

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KILFAHL’S PERMANENT STARTER CALL.

WHAT IS UP, MY GUYS?! yeah, you read it. here’s a permanent starter call for all your starter calling needs! ( wow, okay, i sound like a salesmen wtf @ me ). ANYWAYS, give this post a like if you’re INTERESTED in me screaming about our muses in the dead of night, even when you’re not on. i can tag you in starters that you didn’t even know about, send you shit in your inbox & kee will pester the shit outta you when he feels the need! i dont think i need to explain any more, tbh, everyone knows the drill. so GIMME THOSE LIKES. also? mutuals only. remember that xoxo.

anonymous asked:

Hi! So, I have been questioning myself a lot. I know im attracted to women, nb ppl and guys, but because of past relationships I feel panic and dread when I picture myself not dating only girls? Like, I only want to be with girls for the rest of my life even if i do feel like fainting exaggeradly when i see other attractive ppl but i dont know wether to keep saying im bi (bc of multiple gender past dating openness/attraction) or if i can call myself a lesbian? What do you guys think?

u can DEF call yourself a lesbian if you only want to be in relationships with other women exclusively!! its up to you but thats definaately an option you can choose

✧ old magcon bios✧ (◡‿◡✿)

oinnn gente, então resolvi postar umas bios p vcs, essas em inglês >>não<< fui eu que fiz, só peguei e mudei algumas coisas. As em pt fui eu szszszsz Se pegarem deem like ou credit to factordallas xx

english****

  • i love aaron with all the letters, words and pronunciationsin all languages and accents in all directions and ways with all the circumstances and reasons
  • cameron dallas is so amazing, so kind, so beautiful, so generous, i’m so lucky to have him on my life
  • cameron dallas look what you’ve done to me
  • matt is my little sweetheart ( ˃ ᵕॢ ˂ॢ )
  • maybe jack gilinsky and satan are the same person, THAT’S EXPLAIN ALL
  • im just in love with 12 guys who dont know i exist
  • °˖✧ i don’t call jack johnson sunshine, i call him moonlight cause that means he’s there even when its dark. ✧˖°· ♡
  • ❝Before I met cam I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.❞
  • @Nashgrier I knew you were a trouble since I saw you on vine and now I cant stop loving you
  • 12/12 notice me and follow me bitches ahahahahahah ok ok that’s a lie


português funny bios**

falei pra minha mãe q eu sou magcult e ela começou a chorar n entendi

vc acha q eu gosto dessa vida de fã de viner?????/// vOLTA AQUI E REPETE

viner who sim, primeiro no itunes tambem

eu digo matthew espinosa e vcs respondem dono da minha alma vAMOS LA

fui confessar e falei pro padre que sou sammy garota ele me jogou p fora e gritou “LUGAR DE DEMONIO EH NO INFERNO” n entendi

carterreynolds tem pika pequena, repassem

eu sou taylor garota pq eu me amarro em homem q se faz de fodao mas no fundo é só uma florzinha

[mãe voice’s] te criei pra ser gente e nao fã de viner

minha mãe disse q o shawn tava prejudicando minha vida ai eu falei q a voz dela tava prejudicando meus ouvidos rimos juntas e apanhei um pouco talvez mto

vc é tão ridicula q eu vou ate te chamar de carter reynolds

pior do q ser fã de viner é,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,bom,,,,, n existe nada pior q isso

olha bem pra mim e ve se eu tenho cara de fã de viner

pra eu ser 12/12 so falta mais 12

mahogany follows %%%%% mentira, i’m fã not macumbeira

oq falar de nash grier um otario que eu amo e odeio ao mesmo tempo

satanás e jack gilinsky, aonde eh q ta a diferença???//

quando eu assinei o contrato de cameron garota nao tava escrito q eu sofreria pelo cachorro dele tambem

ate pq n basta ser so otaria tem que ser magcult tbm q eh quase a mesma coisa

*******************ficaram meio ruinzinhas mas espero q gostem xoxo*************

jin has never been overweight and was always on the thin side like…ok i understand how non koreans might see this but in our culture we always make digs at each other’s appearances as long as it’s not extreme or hurtful like we’re very look-centric idk what else to say lmao

this isn’t really about “jin gets to say this bc he’s been called a pig for 2 years” its just like…i dont even know how to address this “issue” bc it’s never been an issue in the first place. some of you guys are rly being gross and overly assumptive lmao 

if you’re going to nitpick on every single thing the boys do that don’t meet your standards just leave the fandom 

anonymous asked:

I'm not transphobic, or I'd like to think I'm not since my fiance is trans. Both he and I must be stupid cause we can't wrap our heads and why genderbending is so bad. :/ (I'm shy so I'm hiding behind Anon)

if you have to start off your message by saying “im not transphobic” maybe you should reevaluate your views. 

“my fiance is trans” add another tally to the rehashing of “im not racist, i have a black friend.”

im not saying your stupid bc you cant see what i see. whichever one of yall called me misogynistic & heteronormative- that was stupid cause its obvious you guys really dont know what youre talking about and taking all your anger out on someone who aint even 16. and is constantly emotionally abused for being trans so like. lol. isnt really helping my trust with adults when yall keep coming here on anon just to say how im so evil for saying yall might have questionable views.

and its my opinion that you guys are? coming into my inbox about? its obvious who your blogs are bc ive spoken to yall before but god, youre fucking adults. 

if you hate my opinions so much, or hate me so much, then leave me alone? like its that simple? im not forcing yall to come here?? just block me if you hate me thate much instead of acting like ppl my age???

Hello.

Request-  Hiya :) Can i request a songfic thanks? Adele - Hello x love your work! (Oh and can it be angst?) 

A/N- what goes on in my brain? I dont even know haha Love you guys xx
Warning- Tears, Sad, breakup mentions.

Word Count- 2213

                                                  Hello by Adele x


“Hello, it’s me”

“Dean you can’t keep calling me” Your voice whispered yet harsh as you hissed into the microphone of your phone. You shut your bedroom door. You heard your boyfriends snores behind you yet Dean’s harsh breathing through the speaker.

“I know…” You sighed and you shuffled your way into the kitchen, passing by various frames of your boyfriend, Josh holding you happily. You stopped by one in particular. His arms around your waist behind you and you were leaning into him. His eyes held love yet yours were full of sadness.

“I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet”

“Sam misses you” Turning on the kettle you sat down at the nearest table which held a clock that read 4:06am.

“I miss him too” Dean knew you weren’t talking about Sam, at least not 100 % and neither was he. The only thing that could be heard was his ragged breathing and the whistle of the kettle.

“To go over everything,

They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I ain’t done much healing”

“Is he treating you well?” To you Dean was like a blissful wound. The wound being totally worth the time of pain you spent together and once it was over the pain would be replaced by a reminder that broke your heart but kept a smile on your face. It was toxic but all you ever wanted.

“Very well” Short but meaningful, like your relationship.

“Y/N…” His voice slightly breaking, indicating this was too much for him as well for you. It had been a year since you saw his emerald eyes, a year since you slept peacefully, a year since you felt whole”

“Dean this isn’t fair, I can’t… you can’t” You shook your head unable to construct a proper sentence. You felt something wet slide down your cheek and you realised you had begun crying. A wonderful trait you picked up with Dean.

“I know baby, I know” A year later with thousands of calls, his voice still sent goosebumps around your body.

“Hello, can you hear me?,

I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be”

“I still love you, Y/N” You released a sob that you held back knowing the guilt it caused him. He hated it when you cried because he simply felt like his father, someone he prayed he’d never become. So you kept it in until he pulled it out of you.

“Baby please don’t cry. Please” You heard the vulnerability in his voice so you pulled the phone away and sobbed into the sleeve of your sweater. Once you collected yourself you placed the phone back to your ear.

“Dean you know I never stopped. I always will love you” This is wrong, you thought. You couldn’t keep doing this, not when your boyfriend of six months was sleeping partially naked in the room you shared.

“When we were younger and free,

I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet”

“Come back sweetheart, please” You sniffled and you released a long sigh. You twirled the ring that hung loosely on your neck, a present Dean gave you on your 3rd anniversary, a promise ring.

“You know I can’t do that, Dean” you wiped underneath your eyes as you heard him sigh.

“There’s such a difference between us,

And a million miles”

“Is she treating you well?” You asked hoping he wouldn’t reply. The reason for your breakup was her but at that moment he picked her and it was nothing you could forgive.

“She’s not you” Short but heartbreaking, like your relationship.

“You should’ve thought of that before you chose” You heard glass break in the background and you knew he threw something at the wall.

“I MESSED UP I KNOW BABY PLEASE DON’T REMIND ME” His voice wasn’t angry but he was desperate. It was like he was screeching and he needed comfort but you were miles away for it.

“I can’t forget it Dean… I can’t. I’m happy and so are you”

“Hello from the other side,

I must’ve called a thousand times”

“Bullshit Y/N. He will never love you like I do” The sad thing was it was true. As much as Josh put the effort in you would never feel complete. You missed the way Dean’s arms felt as he held you by the waist. You missed the way his face would fit in the crook of your neck, like you were pieces of puzzles that fit together. He was the correct key to your lock, you two were far from perfect yet at the same time you were flawless. That was until he ripped your heart out and stepped on it.

“Jesus Christ Dean you don’t think I know that? Every Time his brown eyes look at me I hope they turn green so i’m staring at yours! Every time we’re out for dinner i hope he orders some fucking cheap whiskey and a double cheese burger. Every time we’re having sex I have to stop myself from moaning your name cause I miss you so fuking much! DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT YOU BASTARD”

You tried to calm down and not wake up Josh knowing he’d come out and ask who you’re talking to. He didn’t have a great history with Dean since they got into a full on fist fight.

“Please don’t tell me that Y/N. I don’t want to know if he’s hands have been where mine and only mine should be” The amount of venom in his voice could be enough to account for a snake.

“Dean why tonight? It’s been weeks” Dropping the hate laced in your tone you dropped your forehead on the table.

“To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done,

But when I call you never seem to be home”

“Tonight was the night I was going to propose to you” The glorious lump you’ve come to know formed at the back of your throat. Your eyes pooling with tears you rubbed them harshly.

“You are the only woman apart from my mother i’ve loved Y/N. Well the current state of Sam’s hair might beg to differ” You chuckled at his attempt to lighten the situation but the gnawing feeling inside you wanted to come out and throw the phone against the wall.

“You cheated on me Dean. Not once but 5 times, you had a relationship with another woman while I was your girlfriend. For 4 months I shared you with some women you didn’t even know and when I told you to chose….” You stopped knowing you were going to throw up from the memory that will haunt you forever. You had just come back from work early and the bunker filled with moans. 

Thinking it was Sam you crept to your room not wanting to disturb them but as you came closer to the room you shared with Dean your world turned upside down. He was naked and under a painfully beautiful women. Poor girl didn’t even know he had a girlfriend. 

You could never forget that night because when she left you screamed, cried and even threw something at him. But the pain intensified when you told him to pick, thinking it would’ve been you he kept quiet. That’s when you left, without a note and without a trace.

Though being a Winchester, he found you two months later working at a bar where you met Josh and since then he hadn’t stopped tracking you. That was until Josh punched him in the face when Dean tried to drag you home.

“Hello from the outside,

At least I can say that I’ve tried,

To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart,

But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart,

Anymore”

“You don’t know what I went through Y/N… you slipped out of my fingers and I was too late to grab you baby i’m so sorry but it’s been a year. I miss you and I love you please stop torturing me and come home baby please. I love you how can I prove that?” You ran an aggressive hand through your hair and you tugged on it frustratingly.

“I know you’re pulling your hair right now and biting your lip. See how well I know you? I love you, Y/N. The pain is unbearable”  You scoffed and rolled your eyes. He’s in pain?

“Hello, how are you?,

It’s so typical of me to talk about myself, I’m sorry”

“Dean you haven’t felt the pain i’ve felt. You don’t even know the start of it. I went to bars from bars, piss drunk. I woke up in random beds hoping not knowing how I got there but I knew what led me to it. The pain you’re feeling? Is fucking nothing” You spat, disgusted with what you went through. Countless times you were so drunk you let anyone take you home, that’s what he did to you.

“What!” You realised you never told him that. One night you drunk texted Sam telling him to help and luckily your location services were on. That night he could’ve gone to jail since he almost punched the man to death.

“Who the fuck touched you? DAMN IT Y/N! ARE YO- WHAT THE FUCK WAS HIS NAME?”

“I hope that you’re well,

Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?”

“I don't’ remember Dean. You should thank your brother for saving my life. Without him I probably wouldn’t be alive today’” The sad truth. Sam didn’t leave your side the entire night. The son of a bitch stabbed you in the stomach as you drunkenly tried to push him away from you. Sam managed to leave him with a slight pulse, only because you were moaning in pain.

Sam spent the entire night patching you up and sobering your system. He held your hand all night as you screamed and cried. He knew what you and his brother had was special. When Sam found out what he did he wanted to bash Dean to a pulp but he didn’t for you. Instead he helped you get back on your feet, he’d tell you when Dean would come looking for you. He was your support.

“You called my brother for help? When did we become strangers? Jesus Christ Y/N… please don’t do this to me. I can’t be apart from you knowing you were in harm and I couldn’t do anything about it. “

“It’s no secret that the both of us,

Are running out of time”

“I have to go Dean please don’t call me anymore” You sighed hearing the kettle die down.

“N-no! Baby no please just tell me what I can do? Please don’t go” He whispered and you felt so close but so far.

“What you could’ve done is a lot but what you’ve done…. there’s nothing that can help me forget that” He was about to reply but he was cut off by a feminine voice. You wanted to pull away but you were so intrigued to know who the person behind your breakup was.

“Dean it’s 4 in the morning? Who are you talking to?” You heard his desperate sigh and you thought he would’ve ended the call but he replied.

“Kristine… look there’s something I need to tell you” You panicked hoping he wouldn’t say anything stupid but who were you kidding? The guy’s a nutcase.

“You need to leave, i’m sorry but i can’t keep doing this… Not when i’m in love with someone else” You expected screaming and crying but all you could hear was silence.

“I know Dean, it wasn’t working out for me too… i’ll be back for my things tomorrow” More silence until you could hear a door close.

“I don’t know what else to do, Y/N. I don’t how to prove it?” You looked at a frame of Josh kissing you on the cheek and guilt rose quicker than water running. You balled a fist a rested your forehead on it. 

You wanted nothing more than to run into your car and drive 7 hours to Kansas but you can’t. It was just a trap for a torn heart and you couldn’t take anymore pain, you felt it was physically impossible for you to take anything else.

“I’m sorry Dean… but you’re a year too late. Bye” You heard his urgent voice argue otherwise.

“Wait, Baby no! PLEASE! Y/N! I’M SORRY PLEASE! WAIT! DON’T HAN-” Your finger pressed the bright red button on the screen and a few drops of tears on the screen.

 They say a broken heart will never stay broken, but what can you do when half of your heart belongs to someone else? And you can never get it back. They never prepare you for that.

You removed the battery from your phone and tossed it outside the window, an impulsive move but it was something you should’ve done before. You walked past the steaming kettle and fell into the bed you shared with your boyfriend.

 You looked at his resting face and you apologised to the heavens above you. You know you will never love him, when the man you will always love lays on an empty bed miles from you. As Josh’s arms pulled you into him your hands rested on your chest where your ring rested.

Love can be worth the pain but sometimes you’re so blinded you don’t see that love drove you over a cliff and there’s no getting out.

“Hello from the outside,

At least I can say that I’ve tried,

To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart,

But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart,

Anymore”

I dont know how else to put this or I dont even know if what I say gets tthrough to you people on here, but tumblr is toxic. it is not a safe haven. all people want to do on here is whine and cry about everything. i get at least twenty asks a day asking “hey tag pumpkins” or “dont reblog pictures of people pointing it offends me” and my response is ALWAYS no. because you know what? people need to grow up. 

people on here are so scared of getting chastised or called out for some little shit! white girl braided her hair. straight person said “fagggot”. hell, you guys would get upset at a picture of feet because it reminds you of the time you fucking stubbed your toe. the real world does not cater to your needs. you all need to stop self diagnosing yourselves with SEVERE bpd or SEVERE depression because u kno what?? when i got diagnosed, i broke down crying. i dont want this. i dont want to be here and i dont want to be alive just to swallow pills until i have to piss and crap in a pot in a hospital somewhere. yeah i get pity for it and i guess there are certain accommodations for mentally ill people but it is not worth the constant flow of suicidal thoughts. it is not worth the burning, sharp pains i get when im angry. i do not like having to convince myself not to fill the tub up and drown myself. 

ptsd and bpd and sd and all of that stuff is not just a walk in the park. it isnt crying a little bit more than everyone else. it isnt feeling slightly uncomfortable when you see a fire. it is not just mood swings. they are life threatening. they hurt. 

and let me just say this: if you are happy to “have a mental illness”, then you dont even know what its like, and shut the fuck up. you make it harder on those of us who do have mental illnesses. even after i got diagnosed and began my treatment, people accused me of lying for attention. that “its not real” and “ill get over it”.  

the more that people lie about having mental illness, the less of the people who actually need help, get it. 

i’d imagined that luke’s the type of guy to leave literally half his closet at your place because he likes it when his clothes smell like you

hey can all you hipster fuckers stop wearing hamsas all the fucking time like little known fact that actually means something in several religions (Judaism, Buddhism, Islam). I thought tumblr was against cultural appropriation but you guys are literally erasing the meaning of a very important symbol to me and many other people and turning it into a cool hipster accessory. Like cmon did you even know they were called hamsas? Did you even know that this symbol is important enough to me that i was going to tattoo it on my fucking body but you guys turned it into this aesthetic fucking cliche and now i feel like i would be degrading my own damn religion if i did that 

moral of the story is dont put religious symbols all over your jewelry and shirts and art if you dont fucking know what it means

Mousse

Summary: Kurt generally isn’t a what you’d call a morning person, but with his husband whipping up breakfast for him, he might just change his mind.

Note: I made chocolate mousse yesterday; it was glorious. And so I wrote this tiny thing. Let me know if you guys want the recipe xD AO3

The sound of something clanging against metal woke Kurt up. Groaning against his pillow, he blinked his eyes open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the morning sun shining into the room.

He reached out and felt around the space next to him, and since it was empty, that would mean that his husband was already up and making that horrible noise. He was about to drift off again, but another loud clang and a hushed swear stopped him. A pitiful whine left him as he slowly pushed himself up and off the bed, putting on a pair of clean boxer briefs from the cabinet and walking towards the kitchen where the sound seemed to be coming from.

Walking on muscle memory because his mind was pretty much still asleep, he was lucky he didn’t trip over any of their clothes that were scattered all over their floor from last night. Why was Blaine even up so early anyway? It’s Sunday, they should be sleeping in till afternoon and having all the sex and only leaving the bed when they absolutely have to.

“Oh, honey, you’re up!”

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