i dont even know what the point of this was

  • my future grandkids: hey grandma can you tell us a story :)
  • my kids, who have suffered enough and know what's to come: DONT
  • me: On April 28, 2017, Sergeant Amy Santiago was doing a crossword puzzle when she lashed out vehemently due to a typing error,, Detective Jake Peralta, then already madly in love with her, decided this was a valid reason to fall in love with her even more to the point where he realized he wanted this beautiful woman with an amazing posterior to yell about crosswords every night in bed with him,, he decided to ask her to marry him,, oh but before i tell you about that i must tell you about the day they met and wedding bells all over the world started ringing and still to this day, have not stopped...
  • Yixing: Why does your shirt say Santa? It's not Christmas yet.
  • Chanyeol: It says Satan. And it's almost Halloween. There's like two Pentagrams.
  • Kyungsoo: Wow, edgy. Where did you get it? Hot Topic? Do you even know what the pentagram stands for.
  • Chanyeol: Yeah, I do. Each point signifies the elements which symbolizes nature while the point is for spirit. When introverted for satanism it just means that nature and animalistic tendencies within humans is over spirit vs right side up for Wicca and Witchcraft where they value the higher spiritual consciousness a bit more.
  • Kyungsoo: Fuck......I love you.
  • Yixing: .....Awwwww????

y’all: i’m not gonna watch the trc show if [x] and [y] and [z]

me, with my popcorn already popped: ……………………………

SO LIKE, I was looking through episodes to answer a post and I just noticed something in Horrificator…

A lot of people already pointed out the difference between the Chloe and Marinette almost-kisses with Adrien

and also Adrien giving Chloe the stink-eye for interrupting his almost-kiss with Marinette–

rude, chloe

But I noticed that right afterwards, Chat Noir was totally thirsty for a kiss??

And he was so thirsty that his lead ups to the kisses didn’t even make any sense??

LIke… Adrien, Chat… my dude… calm.

He really wanted to be kissed that day.

Bonus:

Please look at this cutepatoot’s face as he watches Marinette say her lines. PLEASE LOOK. is that tenderness really just acting we don’t know

not to be an asshole or anything, but fic writers literally spend hours on their works for other people to read and

for those who aren’t familiar with ao3, this means 214 people read it.

out of these 214 people, 23 left kudos, which you don’t need to be registered for, all you do is press a button that’s right where the work ends.

(jsyk, i logged out of ao3 so i could browse as a guest).

you can see the ‘top’ button, the ‘kudos’ button and the ‘comments’ button. 

you don’t have to be registered to comment, either, all you need to do is enter a name and your email adress.

as you can see, it’s very, very simple to kudo and comment. which brings us to my point.

it’s shown that there are two comments, but it’s in fact a comment and the author’s reply, because ao3 doesn’t differentiate these two. which means,


 out of 214 people who read this work, 23 left a kudo and only 1 commented. that’s 10% and 0,4% respectively.


do you have any idea how disheartening this is for an author? 10% of all the readers let them know they enjoyed the work, and not even 1% give actual feedback.  THIS is why you should always at least leave kudos. THIS is why we’re overjoyed when people comment even shit like ‘wow they bake vegan cookies!’. to have ONE person in a HUNDRED say anything at all, it’s great.


COMMENTS AND KUDOS KEEPS AUTHORS MOTIVATED. THE BUTTONS ARE HERE FOR A REASON. DON’T ACT LIKE CAVEMEN. THANK YOU.

A-Z NSFW: Kai

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 

Kai’s definitely going to be a guy that’s going to take care of you well. He’s got dogs that are practically his kids, his niece, Taeoh, on Yummy Yummy he said he wanted to know how to cook so he can help his wife. He’s going to take care of you, and happily do it too. He’s one that’s got a warm rag on stand by, lotions and things are waiting in the bedside.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

We all know the golden part on Jongin is his hips, c’mon. He relishes in how him just dancing can get you all hot and bothered, watching the sharp thrusts and fluid rolls. I’m not even going to try and act like he’s not a basic lil horny boy. He likes your boobs. No use hiding it. He’s almost kid-ish with his touching fixation he has with you, he likes squeezing the soft bits of you, that includes ya titties. 

C = Cum 

Kai’s still pretty young, I don’t think he’s quite mastered the art of not making a fucking mess with his male tears. He’s pretty messy, and very vocal when he cums. He’s a pretty loud moaner with you in general, but when he finishes, he goes up a good 4-6 notches in volume. 

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

While he’s really touchy feely with you, he’s got somewhat of a voyeur kink, that he hasn’t revealed to you yet. Kai has such open play with you, that he likes toying with the idea of not being allowed to touch you, and just having to watch you play all by yourself while he’s squirming in his seat. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Between him and Sehun borrowing Noonas’ phones and returning them with the history deleted, and he was the only one of him and Sehun who understood the dick joke the lady on Yummy Yummy said, I’m pretty damn sure his ass knows about dicks and sex and the whole shabang. He knows too much about moving those damn hips too. If he hasn’t had sex, then I wanna know who taught him that shit. He’s easily taught though, so if he doesn’t know what’s going down, he knows enough from watching things to know what to do, he’s just gotta apply his knowledge to you.

F = Favorite position

Knowing he needs proper room to work the magic that is Kai’s hips, doggy style is usually what he prefers. You laid out before him, exposed to his eyes, and unknowing of when he’ll strike. From behind, he’s able to get his grab on, let his hands wander around your back, easily reach around and touch your chest, grab a handful of your ass, and be able to unleash the beast that is his thrusts? it’s the best of all worlds in his eyes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Kai’s a typically lighthearted and goofy guy in most situations, I don’t see any way that doesn’t spill over into his sex life. Although sometimes he likes to play that there’s a difference between Jongin(ur soft lil bby bf) and Kai(ready to fuck you into next week), in general, the atmosphere isn’t tense or serious, it’s all fun with him.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
He whips those abs out so much, my Nana makes so many jokes about his lil nip nops it kills me. Not much hair in sight, and he’s very clean and put together but he does have stubble a lot so I don’t think he shaves every day. I think he grooms down there, but it’s not very frequently, maybe a few times a month. 


I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

[Back to Aftercare] He’s very loving, and caring, and he’d be the most romantic you can imagine. He’s the classic kind of romance, maybe a few candles but mostly he’s very vocal during sex, cooing about how perfect you are, how well you take him, how much he loves you. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
[Back to using the Noona’s phone….] Kai almost always has his hand on his dick, let’s be honest. I think it’s hilarious he’s playing a character that addicted to video games and porn, that’s practically him at this point. He’s all the time in the bathroom, or always in the shower. He’s not fooling anyone, but we’ll just let him think he’s being sneaky. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I lowkey think Kai has(i think this is what its called) exhibition kink? Or is it voyeur? Idk, whatever, he likes being watched with you. He doesn’t necessarily want a threesome, but it’s been toyed with in convo, that you might try out at some point with having a third person just watch.
He watched porn with sehun dont play me i know whats going on


L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Kai will pretty much nail you anywhere, he’s not a stickler for location. Seeing as Chan’s the lockpick master, a locked door doesn’t even matter so with the amount of times Chan has gotten into the bathroom while Kai’s in there…Kai just doesn’t care anymore. He favors the bathroom though, he likes plopping some nice bathbombs in the tub and spending some relaxing time with you before he takes you for a ride. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Grindings kind of his thing, all you have to do is trick him into back hugging you and roll your hips back into his crotch, and he’s sweeping you off to find a closet or bathroom or practice room to bend you over. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While he does have a thing for being watched, under no circumstances will he agree to a threesome, no matter who the third person is. Kai’s pretty protective and possessive, which is why he likes being watched, it sends a pretty clear message that you’re his and they can watch all they want but they can’t touch you like he can, can’t make you moan like he can, can’t make you cum like he can. It’s a show of dominance to him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I don’t trust his tongue tbh Kai’s more of a fan of being in you, rather than your mouth or his on you. But of course foreplay is very important, and he doesn’t dislike going down on you, he’s actually really good at it, he’s just so impatient he’d rather get to the main event. He doesn’t turn down a bj, but again, he’d rather be in between your legs, rather than in your mouth. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

If his damn thrusts are any indication to how he is in the sack, Kai’s got a pretty fast pace. His thrusts are pretty unforgiving, and teeters on the line of being rough, but he’s good at reading your body if he’s being a little too rough.`

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are actually really frequent in your relationship, Kai’s a fan of being able to pull you away from the group or something for a fast pounding, more so because he likes seeing your face all flushed and hair a mess when you two return to the group and have to pretend like nothing happened even though everyone knows…they know..

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Kai’s really playful in the bedroom, if you or him want to try something, there’s almost a 100% chance you’ll test it out, at least once. Positions, toys, locations, kinks, etc, he’s game to try anything with you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Kai’s still young, and he’s got a lot of young boy energy still. Sex with him lasts a significant time, and dick entering stuff lasts a good 5-10 mins, but one round is all he can handle honestly.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He’s got a few basics, just to bring in just for a little extra fun every once in a while. Some silk ropes, a blindfold, some interesting vibrating panties. They’re not used very frequent, but when they come out, he does enjoy them a lot.


U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kai is a bit of a little shit, he’s really into teasing you a lot. He likes watching you twitch, and he gets off on you begging, so teasing is an all time favorite of his. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He’s insanely loud, to the point you’ve joked and toyed with the idea of getting him a freaking ball gag. He’s a moaner, but hell that might as well be bumped up and call him a screamer, he’s so loud. 


W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Lord knows you’ve been walked in on more times than you can count, being walked in by the EXO members that you’re close to is already bad, but the dressing room backstage during an SM event when Kai’s squeezing a quick one on and you’re caught with your pants around your ankles and a dick in you by Taemin is top 5 worse moments of your life. Kai found it hilarious though…idiot boy…

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I have a fascination with Kai’s crotch. Is that weird? Same with Taemin and Hansol, I really like the guys that know how to tuck right and it’s practically completely flat in the front. 

but boi :)))))

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

How may horny puppy references can I make? Bcuz that’s what he is. His sex drive is just a smidgen above average, just high enough that it’s a ‘did you seriously pop another boner? didnt we just do this smh’ kind of thing. He’s pretty much ready to go at any moment, and he’s turn on at the drop of a hat, so I’ll pray for your souls.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I imagine Kai as a puppy tbh. After he’s had his little work out, he needs a nap straight away. So Kai falls asleep fairly quickly after you two do the do, even if he’s only got a few more minutes to spare, he’s done closed his eyes and he’s snoring. Night Night Nini. 

i wanna know where the laughters coming from and what it’s about. mainly i’ve been quiet. i didn’t tell you because it would have made things harder for the both of us. but mostly me. and so okay yeah i’m selfish. and these days i don’t trust my heart to do what it’s supposed to which is love and also unlove when it’s time. and okay i don’t mean unlove, not really. i’m trying to be good. trying to finish the hard sentences. i ran out of good dreams so i thought maybe i could borrow them from somewhere but it didn’t work out. i had trouble sleeping and i had trouble not sleeping and i wanted to believe again. but once you believe again there’s the fear of unbelieving again. and anyway what’s the point of asking the hard questions if i dont stay to hear the answer. what i mean is i need you to forgive me. im looking for something that belongs to someone else. i’m looking for something that’s not looking for me. i’m looking for something and if i stop looking then it will feel like i’ve lost even more.  and i already know what you’re thinking. a girl like thats gonna break her own heart eventually. but something beat me to it already and im not sure if it even has a name. the good thing is im not so scared anymore. the bad thing is that it doesn’t matter. just because you don’t flinch when you see something coming, it doesn’t mean it won’t still hit you. it doesn’t mean it won’t still hurt. 

need help !! hurt bat !!

alright heres the deal: a collegue at work found a bat and gave it to me bc “i love that stuff”

and i hear yall “how do you find a bat ? you cant just pick those up off the floor“ well actually, with this one you can

because it’s missing about half of its right wing

ive been feeding it dry cat food mixed with water (thats what the vet assistant told me to feed it) and its been doing alright, i dont even think its health is that bad besides the wing thing

so heres the point of this post: QUESTIONS

if anyone knows stuff about bats, IT AND I NEED HELP

  • how can i keep it at my place in the best conditions until it gets better ? (or until i can give it to a shelter type of thing)
  • can it even get better ?
  • could it have been born like this ? is there anything i can do to help ?
  • what kind of “easily accesible” food can i feed it besides cat food ?
  • its been biting (?) its broken wing and i noticed whenever it does this its to the point of it bleeding (not much but still) whats up with that ?
  • there seems to be just a little bit of blood coming out sometimes when it poops but then again it could be the coloring of the cat food but still im a bit worried

its desperately trying to take off everytime i get it out of its box its heartbreaking please i just want what’s best for this little angel !!

PLEASE SHARE

  • me: yeah, im disabled. i have this really bad illness where-
  • someone: wait, youre disabled?
  • me: ....yeah, my illness can be really awful, to the point where i-
  • someone: im just surprised cause
  • me: oh no
  • someone: ya know
  • me: no no no come on man stop
  • someone: you dont
  • me: stop, turn back now dont say it dont fucking say it
  • someone: look
  • me: ...dont please
  • someone: like youre disabled.
  • me: .... oh fuck my guy you just had to say that dumb shit, do you even know what the fuck you just did?!