i dont even know what i am talking about

so umm i was offered a job to model?… old friend of mine was talking about me to another friend who works in fashion and he’s been wanting the perfect model?…

apparently i’m his perfect model?;;;..

i’m not someone to show my face or be seen by the public. i dont know what to do

thou i am flattered someone sees me worth of modeling. this is stressful

uhm… soooo… i wasnt gonna talk abt this bc i thought, maybe it wasnt a good idea, but this has been plaguing me for nearly a week now n im just, trying 2 hold on2 the thought that if i maybe tell u guys this n am very sincere n honest about it, just venting will make me feel better.

so, yeah… uh, the thing is… ive been thinking that, maybe u guys have kinda lost interest in me? like as a person? n even as blog? in general? i dont know what exactly happened 2 make things go this way, but lately its just been so quiet n ive felt very lonely n ive concluded its probably something i did, or something i didnt do n shouldve done…

but anyway, im not rly… asking for pity, i just felt like being honest about how i feel, cuz theres no point in me pretending 2 be fine w it, bc, no, i just… i guess i just want ppl 2 talk 2 me again, 2 tell u the truth i miss those days in which ud guys send me lotta asks n every single day id open up my inbox n there theyd be, n i miss interacting w u guys, n its just been… so quiet… where have all my friends gone? the ppl who liked 2 share hcs n stories w me? im not mad at u for going, of course ur allowed 2 leave whenever 2 ask but ive been wondering why? did i do something wrong? is there something i should do 2 fix it? is there anything i can do about this in general? if uve got an idea, n its not 2 much trouble (not that u have 2 of course!!) could u maybe tell me? i just… i dont know. i dont like this silence. it feels weird. n i think i only realized recently how unnaturally quiet it has gotten.


  • no shoes in the apartment so?? always with the fuzzy socks?? enjolras’ are always matching because he has his life together & grantaire’s are always mismatching and clash horribly
  • enjolras always has to re-make his tea cause he forgets about it and it goes cold?? even tho grantaire says “dont forget abt ur tea” what a nerd
  • “grantaire have you seen my glasses?” “are my glasses around?” “i can’t find my glasses” “do you know where my glasses are??” yes enjolras, theyre on ur head, every time
  • always with the cheek kisses?? its digusting courfeyrac is so #done like?? ur going to the bathroom enjolras ur dont need to kiss him goodbye
  • grocery shopping!! enjolras wears his glasses so he can read off the list and grantaire pushes the cart & insists they buy stuff they don’t need
  • their clothes sort of….blend together….and  no one notices until enjolras turns up to a meeting wearing a shirt with three holes in it that says “MAKE ART & MAKE OUT”
  • courf laughed for a year 

I’m 15 followers away from 100😭. I know that doesn’t seem like much but I’ve only had this blog a month and I didn’t think I’d even get 5 followers. Thank you too all you beautiful people who decided to click that follow button. Please don’t be afraid to talk to me sometime ❤

One of the reason I stay up late because I’m hoping that you would be online and I have the chance to talk to you. You know how much I miss you and I am willing to somehow stay up late just for our midnight conversation. I actually miss how we used to talk. It started out in the morning, greeting each other and tell to wake up and dont forget thy breakfast. Next, it goes throughout the day till evening talking what happened to the whole day. Since we enjoyed each other’s company, we stay up late, having midnight conversations about sweet nothings, and I really miss those. At this moment, I just want you to know that I miss you. I stay up late again because I’m already used to this set-up of ours. But you’re gone now, maybe I should stop and start sleeping early in the evening.

anonymous asked:

I've been recently diagnosed with DID. I'm having panic attacks over the thought of faking it. I dont fit most of the criteria. My trauma wasn't long term. And it wasnt when I was under the age of 7. I was kidnapped and tortured when I was 11 which left me with a permanent disability. My friend called me disgusting for "faking DID" because it's something "real trauma survivors deal with" (We havent talked about my trauma). I dont feel valid, and I feel gross because what if I am faking? Help?

Fuck your ‘friend’ youre diagnosed. The trauma u went through may of been short but it sounds like it couldve fucked you up a lot. Enough to form a system. Ur real n so is ur system and your trauma they have no right to say tht not even knowing your trauma

-mod j

Rant about recent bts run ep 15

Some jimin stan is unhappy with what happened in bts run ep 15. If y'all dont know what happened, apparently jin called jimin fat as joke in their game but some “armys” called jin names and got mad at him. Some even say that he have no talent and is not funny. Like bitch? Are you that funny? Some even said that he should leave the grp. Like wtf? Who.are.you? You have no right to say anything about their relationship with each other. They pratically knew each other for years and they know each other best than you. Even if they are unhappy with each other, i am sure they will talk it out THEMSELVES. I know that jimin is insecure about himself and so does jin. He is human too. He got insecurities. When people call him names, you guys kept quiet but when its one of the maknae line, you guys went wild. They know what to do. They are all grown ups. They don’t need you to butt in. Well, unless you tell me that you have no close friends at all(which is sad) to joke with you. In case you don’t know, thats how close friends joke with each other. Now that you have learned new facts, congrats. You guys have no place to judge and dont have the rights at all. Even jm is fine with it and ALSO, jin apologised afterwards. Y'all dont look or complain at all when other people dissed the hyung line but y'all get so pissy when one of the maknae line got dissed. We don’t need such “armys” who hate on any of bts members. Bts or jimin don’t need such people who don’t appreciate the members because the love each other. So get out. Bts is one. We don’t need such people who is so biased.

serious post time… i dont really talk abt it bc i really just want to be LEFT ALONE but w/ that post goin round those circles

as someone whos been debilitatingly mentally ill since i can remember and has had that as the defining influence in my life i dont see how people can talk about otherkin shit and ableism being like of the same gravity… its nauseatingly offensive and trivializing and it makes me so fucking upset i dont know what to do with myself. i mean if you’re like doing this for funsies or mildly serious whatever do what ya like but people equate them all the time on here.

i genuinely am seriously for real extremely super uncomfortable w/ people like that interacting with me at all or even following me with that mindset. i dont want some fucker who thinks that id’ing w/ some dude from rick and morty makes them oppressed reading my posts about being thrown in a literal cage by a cop for being crazy. i really really dont. i cant articulate how but it feels exploitative and frustrating and awful. tl;dr go away for real

anonymous asked:

I'm a Muslim/freshmen in HS how do i deal w people bashing me/starting rumours/calling me a terrorist and be myself? Its gotten so bad i dont even tell peopl im muslim anymore. Any advice so i dont let it affect me anymore??/:


First of all, I am so sorry to hear this. As a white woman, I can’t even imagine what you are having to endure right now. I wish I could march to your school myself and give each and every single ignorant person a piece of my mind for you. I really do. 

High school is hard enough without getting targeted as a terrorist. I think that if you don’t feel safe? You should talk to your parents about transferring schools. I know that may seem like a big decision, but I worry that misinformed kids will take their parent’s ignorant beliefs/frustrations out on you. 

If it’s not that extreme, here is what I can tell you, and this is coming for a place of acknowledgment that I have no idea what it is like to be a WOC, it is just what I tell every single person who is bullied::

You are beautiful. You are strong. You are fighting a fight so many people could never imagine fighting. What you are dealing with now? It won’t last forever. I know that it seems like it will now, seems like this is the end of the world and in some ways for you it might be,but eventually? You will be free of this. You will graduate and go to college or do whatever other rockstar thing you are meant to do and you will find thousands and thousands of people that accept you and understand you and love you for being EXACTLY who you are. I PROMISE YOU THIS. 

There is an entire revolution fighting for you and your rights right now. And we may not have won quite yet, but we won’t stop until we do. And these kids? They will learn of their ignorance, they will learn of their mistaken narrowed views. And if they don’t? They will  be the ones who face hardship in this life because we won’t make it easy on them. Bet on that. 

Just hold your head high. Be proud of your race, your religion, your culture, your heritage. Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be. Because people who think they hold supremacy in those areas? They are missing out on such a beautiful aspect of life. The ability to meet new and interesting and different people is what helps us grow into better people ourselves. These kids that are bullying you? If they don’t wake up, they’ll never EVER have that. And that’s a damn shame for them. 

For now…try and find your tribe, your group, your people. And by that I don’t mean “other Muslims” i just mean people who have things in common with you, who accept you. Maybe you all are a group of outsiders in your own right, but guess what? That’s cool. That’s the group I grew up with in high school and looking back I wouldn’t have traded those friends for the world- we were our own kind of popular. And as soon as you get out of high school, the quirky kids are the ones who succeed the most, love the hardest, and have the most fun. 

Keep being you. You’re perfect exactly the way you are.

I hope you can remember that. 

MBTI (stereotypes) - Unhealthy Types

WARNING: if you are very sensitive dont read this post.

ESTJ: You are going to follow me. And I am not going to follow you. You are going to help me reach my goals and I will crush your dreams in a second.

ISTJ: I dont even know the rules and I feel so lost. Oh no, you just touched your face! Did you guys see that? Is it acceptable to touch your face?

ISFJ: I am going to talk about MYself, MY family, MY posessions, MY achievements….and…please please can you listen to me because nobody ever does that and I honestly dont know why also everybody hates me but why like I am super nice.

ESFJ: That girl is so ugly. I hate her. *ugly girl walks by* Hey girl! I missed ya. Whats up? I love you very very much.

INFP: Why are these people so mean? Why do they keep criticizing me? Why didnt that person stop in the street to help me tie my shoelaces? Why are you even listening? Why am I even talking?

INTP: …what is this I am experiencing…TEARS? ohhhh a learning opportunity let me check the amount of gases in tears.

ENFJ: I feel alone…like nobody understands me…like I dont fit in…and all of this is because I didnt talk to a person for eight minutes!

ENTJ: I am strong, I am awesome, and you are not. End of story.

INTJ: Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the county that understands the complexity of life. Oh wait, not SOMETIMES, always.

INFJ: hun, I know whats best for you. You dont. Because you people obviously have no minds and hearts to choose what you want.

ESTP: I thought that you getting hit on the head with a bowling ball wouldnt hurt you so much. It was just a prank!

ISTP: mmm no youre wrong. That isnt the way it is. You have got a huge imagination… a huge and unrealistic imagination.

ISFP: The famous” I may be quiet but I have killed you in my head one hundred times.”

ESFP: Let us have a fight about this really dumb issue. You dont wanna have a fight? Okay lets have a fight about you not wanting to fight me. Let. Us. Begin.

ENTP: I have come to a realization that all of you have hurt me at least once. Now I am going to hold grudges and make snarky sarcastic comments at your super dumb sayings.

ENFP: I am not paying attention to my inner world that I often used for escaping hardships. So does that mean that the things I am going through arent hardships? What if they are just an illusion. Alright then, I am going to pretend I am super bubbly while I am slowly dying inside. Oh, and I will use manipulation to get what I want.

For people who found this stereotypical or mean, I am really sorry. But the title said “stereotypes” and I wrote a warning.
Seventeen as shit that my friends say
  • Seungcheol: I used to be such a happy being before you guys came into my life and made me a stressed parent
  • Jeonghan: Im so beautiful that u love me even though im pretty shure u dont know who tf i am;)
  • Jisoo: pfftt i so did not sleep at 2am the day before our cambridge exams just to watch tokyo ghoul what are you guys talking about
  • Soonyoung: But if you're catholic, then how are you chinese?
  • Junhui: I like to take baths and just think about myself
  • Wonwoo: im so weak im sorry im a disgrace sorry
  • Jihoon: disgrace go slap yourself in the bathroom and don't come back
  • Seokmin: I guess the dog could say wood with like a cough
  • Mingyu: I can feel the warmness of the pizza just by looking at it
  • Minghao: You better protect your mouth or imma staple it
  • Seungkwan: I put the i in priti
  • Hansol: SALTY N00000b
  • Chan: But as i got older, drawing and coloring looked lame for my age

y’all i dont know what im doing i never do honeslie. i apologize in advance for being the Trash that i am and for this intro being kinda long ?? anyways im nelly (17,she/her ) and i present to you my even trashier and messier child kim minho like i h8 them but i luv them and y’all probably will too ?? i also have a disc*rd (taeyongie#6610) if anyone wants to hmu there. but you can find some things about minho under the cut !! 

Keep reading

shin-ichi-niichan replied to your post “if y’all wanna ask me shinran stuff i am bored and have a lot of…”

where did your feels came from? i dont have some rn :/

My shinran feels are always there, ready to be triggered by anything. 

This is what triggered them this time: 



SONOKO IS A BOSS ASS BITCH!!! Shinichi appears backstage and Sonoko is SO CLEVER she tells him to put on the costume and get out there and do the play. AND FUCKING SHINICHO DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THE SCRIPT or what the hell he has to do but boy oh boy he reeaaallly doesn’t want Araide to play that part so he FUCKING GOES FOR IT!! !!! he’s just like “aright let’s do this” AND SONOKO, GOD BLESS SONOKO, IN HER MOMENT OF MAXIMUM SPLENDOR, IN HER CULMINATING MOMENT OF SHINRAN SHIPPER EXTRAORDINAIRE, writes Ran a sign saying “just go with it!!” 



And then he jumps on stage acting all cool (Shinichi, your Yukiko is showing) kicking ass and taking names, and HUGS HER because yes Sonoko (BLESS HER!!) told him to do so, but imagine how good that must have felt!! AND YOU CAN EVEN SEE IT IN THE HALF PART OF HIS FACE UNDER THE MASK!!! He’s just so incredibly glad to be able to hug her, to be with her in his own body after so much suffering, after so long of wanting to say and do things he can’t. 




This scene is just so precious on so many levels and so frustrating and such a wonderful break to the UTTER WRECKING HEARTBREAK™ that comes afterwards, and I think we don’t talk about it enough. 

Also, I want someone to build Sonoko a fucking golden temple.                    

anonymous asked:

i feel so alone. my fp/best friend said things that now im afraid to ever open up to them when im suicidal and i cant make them or anyone understand me. i really want to overdose but i love them and have to be around to make sure thry are safe and unharmed. i need to be there for them so i cant kms but i dont want to self harm and i dont know what to do i a m so alone and i am os sorry to bother you with this but i dont even trust my therapist as much as i do you

suicide, death wish, self harm

coping mechanisms are good! distractions and venting is good! also talking to your fp about what they said that made you scared to talk to them is also good!

anonymous asked:

...or about how his dad is helping Him other than actually about his dad ( that is Not necessarly a Bad thing) I also like to point out that we dont Know what bis Management tells Him to do or Not to do regarding all sorts of issues And i am older than him and feel really stupid about Some opinions that i had so i would definietly advise Him to Not tSay too much and grow up a bit First and I dont even Know what i am saying anymore, just rembling (2/...) the end - i love Talkes like that - 👒

I agree with you on Him Living in a bubble when it comes to growing up and also regarding issues ( or so it seemed From what i Can tell, But acknowledging that we only have an outside perspective of his life and whats important to Him) i would love for him to right a Song about a Subjekt like “the a team” But i thing treat you better and Maybe even Bad Reputation Are steps in the right direction, i would like Him to sing a Song Not about himself because even “hold on” is about himself (1/…)

the first part wasn’t on anon love :) And I do agree with you darling 

(I’m so sorry for the late reply I just so this please forgive me

anonymous asked:

I love that two separate people can view you two different ways. Where in on one hand your eccentric, intelligent, and witty-- with the other your a leader, uncontrollable, and goofy. And that's not even adding in the fact how much of a mom/dad you can be. I say both cuz sometimes you're dad mode and sometimes mom mode. Your a blessing i think is what i'm saying in general. I dont think i could sum you up in even 10 characters cuz your too special. you one of a kind. ^.^b

`Aaaah! Hahaha that’s why I love this meme so much :’) I love seeing what I am to different people s;idigsg everyone has a different idea and also i love talking about myself apparently ahaha

you’re so sweet aaah 

are u saying i can be dadmode because of my SWEET JOKES and COOL COMEBACKS? 

honestly i dont know what to say to this because i’m still half asleep and i’ve run out of milk so i can’t have coffee, but thank you so much  ;  ; you’re so sweet and ily <3

anonymous asked:

christians aren't oppressed................ i'm suspicious you reblog things about christians but dont support muslims or jewish people or anyone of color when people talk bad about them?

I didn’t say we’re oppressed, Christians cannot be discriminated against because most first world countries are Christian countries. I reblogged this because I’m a Christian, I didn’t mean to offend others religious - I respect and support them. I wouldn’t even dare to be offencive.

Agh, you can not fathom how sorry and disgusted I feel (about myself) because of your message, anon. You don’t know me personally, you can’t judge what kind of person I am.

anonymous asked:

pleae tag relationships i just got cheated on by my boyfriend it just. makes me super sad im sorry if this ask sounds mean or weird i just dont really want to see it as much as im happy for you and zen

anon i’m really sorry youve been through that but i talk to and about zen and really about relationships in general a lot and i just cant guarantee im going to be able to create a space free of anything that you might find upsetting. im not trying to be an asshole im just being honest about the fact that i dont feel that i would be able to catch everything. i dont even really know what in total you would count as something youd wanna be tagged. is it just me and Zen, or ship stuff too? anything i reblog about dating?

if i post anything like the read more i made last night ill probably say in the tags im talking about my relationship but i cant and like… am not willing to tag every bit of PDA between me and Zen. that makes me uncomfortable for personal reasons.

i hope you understand where im coming from? i am sorry that youre having a bad time and i do understand if you end up just feeling that youd rather unfollow me but i wanted to like… explain how i feel rather than make false promises or flat out deny your request.


Apparently I own quite a few differant panties with only a few repeats. 😅 I had been planing on going through my whole collection before doing repeats but I really like my Rainbow Dash panties.💞 So you are probably going to see them a few more times. 😘

Since I am going to be subjecting you to repeat performances I figured that now is a good time to mention requests. Yes I am willing to take them. So if you like my tail in a certain color, pattern, fabric, cut or pose. Perhaps you just find something sexy or cute and you want to see me do or wear it again or even for the first time. let me know and I will do my best to set something up.

If I dont like your request I will probably talk to you about it and try to find a middle ground I am more comfortable with. That said I am willing to try just about anything once so dont be shy about what you like after all I wear underwear for me but I am taking pictures for you.💕