i dont even eat that bad

i grew up
in a whitewashed country
with whitewashed children
with their minds wired
to make racist comments 


they tell me
to appreciate
the stereotypes laid out for me
(you’re a model minority, they say)
and the bullshit they spew in my face


but they also tell me
my eyes are too small
and they grab their eyes
and slant them upward
while mocking my language


my language
can i even call it that?
i can barely speak it
i am an imposter, a fake
they ask me where im from
and i dont know what to say
(i was raised in an orphanage
for the first two years of my life)
(i am from america)
(i am from china)
(i am from nowhere)


they reduce this beautiful language
to sounds and ching-chongs
and they ask me if i eat cats
(she’ll eat your dog, too)
they tell me all chinese people have bad teeth
and the one language they know about
is nothing but sounds
(i wish i could swallow my hatred
and bitterness
but i can only let it spill out) 


dont they know?
there are tones
characters are not symbols
simplified vs traditional
it is mandarin chinese
there are hundreds of dialects
this language is beautiful
(i fell in love with it
i cannot speak it well
i am ashamed)
but america lets its children
turn it into sounds and jokes and
songs mocking the language
they don’t know anything about 


they laugh at me
for telling them to stop
(the asian can talk)
(the asian isn’t submissive after all)
(aren’t asians socially awkward?)


they sexualize the women
(asian girls are hot)
and desexualize the men
(asian men have small penises)
why am i so terrified
of white men looking at me?
i am nothing i am no one i am sick of being sexualized
why am i a part of your asian fetish daydreams? 


they turn my culture
into aesthetics and anime
and into fashion styles


they pronounce the cities wrong
open fortune cookies and congratulate
themselves for using chopsticks
they call me their token asian friend


every a+ i get
its because of my black hair
and my small eyes
and the country i was born in
(all asians are smart)


they look at the words
“made in china”
and crack a joke
about my country
i grind my teeth


they ask me
to speak the language
the beautiful language that they mock
and i want to say
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
in english
loudly
clearly
and boldly
but i am quiet (not because i am chinese)
and i keep my mouth shut (because i will be laughed at, because i am chinese)


i am asked
countlessly
where am i ACTUALLY from
and i want to scream
NOWHERE NOTHING NO ONE
because no one 
actually gives
a shit


they tell me
there is no such thing
as discrimination / prejudice / racism
against asians because
our usual stereotypes are positive
we are smart
we are successful
we are good at math


these words dont make me feel
smart
or successful
and i was never good at math anyway
these words make me want to
scream and
crush their insults in my fists

they tell me to appreciate this
but i can only hate it
and keep myself silent
because no one cares
it’s just a joke, of course

—  one day i will learn to love the things they laugh at / j.m (via ghaffas)
Bts finding out their younger sister has depression bc of bad friends.

He found you sitting on your bed, just staring out your window.

“You okay?…”

“How do you stop from feeling really sad?”

“You let everything flow out, talk to me.”

“My friends… they don’t treat me, well, like a friend.”

Namjoon:

“Teenagers can be mean just remember they do not define you. You’ll find better friends along the way that like you for you. Use the treatment your getting right now as a muse for something creative… a poem, a painting. Also dont hang around them any more. I don’t like seeing you sad you little bum.”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Jin:

“Who dares make a Kim member sad! I’m sorry y/n, everything will get better as you grow, I promise. I mean when have I ever been wrong?”

“The time you told be to eat the green pill instead of the white and I ended up sleeping for a whole day even though all I had was a my sore throat”

“Not the point. Just know that everybody has bad times in their life so that way the good times could be better than you could ever imagine! Now, you wanna come make some cupcakes? We can make your favorite! <3”

Originally posted by jjilljj

Hoseok:

“Well, those aren’t true friends, now are they? Ditch them. I know you’re a good person and its hard for you to leave people behind but trust me you’ll feel much better after. You might be alone for a while but hey thats better than being treated badly by others especially when you have a choice. Plus you won’t be fully alone… I’ll be here!”

Originally posted by hoseokb

Yoongi:

“Well first, they’re dead. And second, don’t be an idiot and stay friends with them. I know this is very blunt but if you feel like you’re unwanted by them, leave. You don’t deserve to be hurt by some people that aren’t going to be in your life forever. You’re young! Live your life with people who truly like you. And  don’t stress out over little things. Do you remember when I was stuck in a slump? Look at me now. Winning awards left and right with my best friends.”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Taehyung:

“There missing out on you y/n! You’re such a good person, don’t you forget that! I wish I could be in high school again just so I could hang out with you. I don’t like seiing you so hurt by this, by them. Please do me a favor and drop them. You can find such better people whether it be online or from other schools! I’ll be your friend… I’ll come by during lunch and just hang with you. Every single day until you don’t need me anymore!”

Originally posted by xtronnorfravan

Jimin:

“There’s no point as associating them as friends then. They need a new title… starngers! You need to get away from toxic people before they really start damaging you and putting a toll on you. I really hope you make the right choice in leaving them and go meet some new people. Start a club at school or join clubs online with people that have the same interest. You can always text me if your feeling lonely okay!”

Originally posted by wellhell0therenicetomeetyou

Jungkook:

“Who hurt my baby sis?! That really irks me ya know, you’re such a sweet person. I don’t understand how people can be so rude. Leave them, they don’t understand us cool kids. Viva la Jeons! Don’t let this hang over you okay? You don’t need this type of situation, its a waste of time. Spend your time doing more important things like studying! You do want a good job right?” “I’m gonna fight your ‘friends’.” *fighting stance*

Originally posted by just-sad-fandom-trash

assassinsandavatars  asked:

"You... realize those aren't edible, dont you?"

“You… realize those aren’t edible, don’t you?”

Kim paused, thoughtfully (for him) chewing the lingering remnants of Alix’s panties. 

“Like, edible panties exist, we all acknowledge that, but not all panties are edible,” said Nino. “Why are you even–”

Kim took a swig of a generic French sports drink and swallowed the undergarment with barely the hint of a grimace. “Look, pal,” he said. “If Alix tells me she got edible panties, do think I’m going to waste time guessing which ones I can eat?” He shook his head. “Players don’t get played again.”

Karasuno First-Years as Teachers

So I made this for fun, and the other admins thought that it would be fun to post this, because why not? HAHA I hope y’all enjoy this! [Reblogs would be very helpful especially that we just started as a blog! Thank you!]

Admin LaLa 


Hinata: 

 -he’s the teacher that everyone likes 

-the actual fluffiest teacher of all aND GIVES LOTS OF BONUSES 

-“when i was like yall i had a hard time so i hope u dont end up like me!”

 -if ever someone would have a low grade, he’d be the comforting type of teacher!!! 

-“hey, it’s okay!!! let’s work hard to get your grades higher mkay? yOSH!” “s-sIR!!!” “HEOL DONT CRY!!!”

 -dude like hinata would actually tutor his kids and monitor them 

-oh my god stab me, hinata is the actual fluffball 

-“i hope you have a great day today everyone! see yall after the weekend!" 

-honestly everyone is thankful for this teacher 

-sighs when will i ever??? 0A0 

 — 

 Kageyama: 

 -exactly hinata’s opposite = nO BONUSES cri 

-bOI DONT U EVER FORGET UR ASSIGNMENT 

-will collect the homeworks one by one and youll be highkey screwed 

-"i thought that youd be responsible students and finish your homeworks, but it seems not. youll get a zero for this." 

-but irl he just really wants his students to grow and flourish on their own

 -when someone improves he’ll try to compliment them even if he’s not used to it??? man… 

-most students think he’ll never smile but when one of their classmates actually cracked up a good joke mAN HE WAS HIGHKEY LAUGHING AND EVERYONE WAS SHOOKT 

 -"jeez kids, im not that emotionless HAHA" 

-when the year ends, everyone will actually miss his rules and kags will be so happy to see them graduate 

-thank god for him ;A; 

Keep reading

Secret Idol Relationship With Inseong

-You two are lowkey very obvious but also not if that make sense. (The way he would smile and cutely laugh at you when you pass by awkwardly while trying to make your way around him/him touching your arm softly if he had to get you out the way of blasting confetti during a music show or you two laughing at something funny when your both on stage).  Honestly, you guys would constantly be suspected by fans (them picking up different clues etc. but they would never be too sure and it would usually just stay a rumor but because of that, you guys are a huge SHIP). You guys are so constantly shipped that you already have a big supportive fan-base for your ship (both from your group’s fandom and fantasies.)

-Kakao eachother ALL the time. Especially during breaks when practicing/waiting rooms/before sleep/when waking up in the morning. Always send cute emoji’s with his texts and ugly pickup lines and derp selfies back and forth with eachother so your kakao backround is eachother’s derpy faces. Will call you early in the morning to help wake you up and you could hear his groggy deep voice like “wake up my love, get up get up I know your tired but we have work.” and your giggling because he sounds more tired than you. “Your telling me to wake up, but your probably calling me laying down still with your eyes closed.”

-Both your managers knows you two are dating so they often try to set up the same schedule like being on weekly idol together/etc cuz they cool like that. You guys sees each-other so often, that the ship will always stay strong and fans could even make cute shipping videos on youtube just by collecting all of the times you both were seen together. Lowkey being at ISAC is the best for you both. Cheers for you when you’re doing the track race and it’s EVEN BETTER when he’s on the same team as you so he gets to actually talk to you but inside he’s wishing he could just hold your hand right now because you look so beautiful at the moment. “I want to kiss you so bad.” “Shutup inseong someone might hear. Did you eat?” “Of course because you like me chubby.” “I know, good :)“ 

-Him acting like a fool around you even tho yall are dating, whenever you two promote at the same time and he passes by you, he will trip or some shit or stutter. (Like boi dont make it even more obvious you got a thang for her). Even both of your stylists and staff be questioning you guys and eventually they ship you both as well. Whenever your both off work, he would drive his car late at night near your dorm and you would both be dressed in hoodies and a mask over your face. Would drive you to the river and chill in the car holding hands and listening to music and talk to eachother (or other things hehe). He would pack snacks and chicken and stuff cuz both of you love food you guys are always eating). Tells you funny stories and incidents and would just genuinely enjoy spending time with you. Hates driving you back to your dorm, he would always walk you all the way to your building’s entrance even tho thats stupid because dude you can get caught but he does it anyways and never wants to let go of your hands even when you have to get inside the building). “Bye, kakao me.”

-Lowkey when you two are overseas for like Mama or something, he would try have his group sit near your seats on the plane and sneak into your hotel room at night to be with you but like wtf inseong how you gonna leave in the morning. “who said we’re sleeping?”

-Loves you alot. He promises one day when he’s famous enough and successful enough he will reveal that you two are dating so you won’t get too many haters then. Hates reading hate comments about you and when anti fans ask him why does he talk to you alot, he will avoid the question but have an obvious annoyed face expression. Tells you to not read comments and would even go as far as if he sees hate tweets about you on his twitter posts, he will report them. You guys end up dating for years until you reveal the relationship and leave everyone shooked at how well you manage to date for so long.

Originally posted by taeyamg

i wish i were liv..

update: im putting back on weight and while i know that’s good i feel kinda awful about it and it makes no sense like im GETTING HEALTHY AGAIN why cant i be happy

underappreciated disney princesses
  • texas
  • the great depression (1929)
  • waluigi
  • old macdonalds’ farm
  • high school musical 2 (2007)
  • hitler
  • jesus christ
  • the declaration of independence
  • club penguin
  • seven (7) girl scouts
  • mardi gras
  • canada’s wonderland
  • starbucks
  • vapenation
  • all star - smash mouth
  • the periodic table song
  • 24,372 innocent bumblebees
  • h2o
  • ice ice baby
  • sixty-two (62) cellos
  • at least 2 goldfish crackers
  • the kazoo kid
  • bill nye the science guy
  • pope john paul II
  • dawn dish soap
  • white people
  • australia
  • niceklback
  • myspace
  • yes
  • slenderman
  • careless whisper (1984)
  • ray william johnson
  • dank memes
  • cultural appropriation 
  • markiplier’s ego
  • middle age, white suburban soccer moms in the parent council on facebook
  • taylor swift’s country music
  • gavin
  • a plastic bag in the wind
  • crying
  • internal shrieking
  • princess diana
  • VHS tapes
  • caillou (1997)
  • judge judy
  • why
  • undertail
  • north korea
  • christopher columbus (1492)
  • 9 wet boxes of matches
  • blood on the dance floor
  • universal studios
  • so you think you can dance
  • jeff the killer
  • yikes
  • 3 consecutive tornadoes just looking for friends because they are lonely :(
  • 138 out-of-control bouncy balls
  • william shakespeare
  • happy dogs
  • harry potter and the deathly hallows part two (2011)
  • a 23 measure rest in sheet music
  • keyboard warriors
  • seasame street
  • dennys
  • hamilton (2016)
  • chuck norris jokes
  • the gay cousin
  • meghan trainor
  • an abandoned greenhouse
  • one (1) kangaroo
  • history of japan
  • the magic school bus
  • dad jokes
  • don’t hug me i’m scared
  • the ashes of your grandparents
  • marijuana
  • doritos: zesty cheese
  • pluto
  • tumblr
  • iron man
  • pokemon go
  • suffering (2017)
  • mitochondria
  • the weird side of youtube
  • 21p
  • lucifer
  • into the woods (2014)
  • one lone ant
  • bill cosby
  • pollution
  • furries
  • religion
  • purple
  • beeeeeeeeeeees?
  • an overused joke
  • internal shrieking
  • finals week
  • casually bullying friends
  • slow wifi
  • subway: eat fresh
  • the emoji movie (2017)
  • genocide
  • the laugh track from a 70s sitcom
  • ugly christmas sweaters
  • catchy pop music
  • twitter
  • just dance: kids
  • charlie the unicorn
  • five nights at freddys
  • 3.5 inch high heels
  • minecraft
  • the flag of nepal
  • american football
  • south canada

anonymous asked:

What's misophonia?

misophonia is a condition where you are extremely sensitive to certain sounds, such as eating/chewing sounds and breathing sounds. there are so so many different sounds, and it depends on the person themselves what causes them the Bad Feelings.
these sounds, depending on the person themself, can trigger things like anger, panic, nausea, and severe need for self harm or even suicide attempts in worst cases. 
there’s much more than that but that’s what i go through mostly.
for more symptoms you can check from here!

misophonia comes in levels, ranging from 0 to 10 (mine goes around 7-10 which is BAD)
 but despite the level, it is always awful for the person.
you can see the scale from here!

we cannot control how we feel! the feeling we get is both physical and emotional and it is strong and agonizing.

PLEASE REMEMBER that when a misophonic person (or even someone who doesnt suffer from it!) asks you to stop doing a certain sound, NEVER IN YOUR LIFE START MAKING THE SOUND MORE TO BE ANNOYING.
N E V E R it is so shitty and can be potentially dangerous for the person, or even you yourself.

so its super important to think twice before you decide to chew your gum mouth open, or rustling your bags of chips in class or anywhere.
you never know who suffers from misophonia, and who you can cause severe harmful reactions with your actions that could be easily toned down.

especially in quiet places its good to think if you’re being too loud and if you can do anything about it.

because for me, i’ve had to run out of class in full panic hitting myself against the walls and scratching my hands just from hearing someone chew gum mouth open in a quiet classroom. i wanted to throw up, i wanted to die. i wanted to rip my head off because i couldn’t get the sound out of my head AND I STILL can hear it as im typing. 

misophonic people get no credit like ever. people barely even know we exist, and when we speak out, we usually are made fun of.
“it cant be that bad, its just normal every day sounds!! how can you even leave from the house lol!!” well uh i can leave the house, and most of my days go just fine without a reaction! and honestly i dont even have to leave my house to have a reaction, as my own damn eating sounds hurt me every day! though im more used to them now.
“u really should get help loll that is so stupid and not normal” every time i’ve mentioned it to my nurses or doctors, it gets brushed off. they don’t care. nobody cares. how can i get help when nobody responds to my call for help.

so yeah. this is a long ass rant but hey! i really want people to know more!
hope this is good and google is a good place to go through, there’s multiple sites just for misophonia that tells whats up and what its about as i linked twice already! <3

seventeen as things i’ve said through text messages pt.2

s.coups -  “they need to deactivate and think about what they’ve done”

jeonghan -  “he got me frustrated and I’ve never even spoken to him before”

joshua - “WE ALL LOVE CRAFT”

jun - “ooooo kinky ; )”

hoshi - “I didn’t wanna move so i sat and watched how to kill sims in all four games”

wonwoo - “I feel the embrace of death and christmas at the same time”

woozi - “cry cry cry - my version of shy shy shy”

dk - “I feel like a sim I need to pee so bad and I’m hungry and confused”

mingyu - “I DONT WANT TO BE EATEN I NEED FOOD TO EAT”

the8 - “i would fight ur dad”

seungkwan - “I’m so salty I need to stop”

vernon - “I think I need a meme intervention - memetervention”

dino - “don’t call me kiddo pls”

part 1

Good and Bad Side of The Until Dawn Squad
  • SAM- 
    • Good: aw man what a sweetheart.  
    • Bad: spends way too long in the bath smh people are dying
  • MIKE- 
    • Good: BONDS WITH DOGGIES AW YISS.  
    • Bad: he can eat a dick for that prank tho
  • MATT- 
    • Good: People pleasin’ good guy, heart o’ gold right there. 
    • Bad: Why even have player choices as him i mean really we’re just gonna do what Em wants.
  • JESS- 
    • Good: If she ain’t feelin’ it you ain’t gettin’ any, MICHAEL. 
    • Bad: Girl don’t go outside DONT GO OUTSI– god dammit jess.
  • EMILY- 
    • Good: it takes effort to kill this bitch she’s resilient as hell. 
    • Bad: shut up just shut up just stop pls shut up
  • JOSH- 
    • Good: hes a cool dude aiight and his production skills A+  
    • Bad: Homie y u punish only the most innocent friends.
  • ASHLEY- 
    • Good: i mean i guess she took that punch pretty well?
    • Bad: “actually ya know what im pissed at you for accepting my offer to sacrifice myself for you how about i let you die now” 
  • CHRIS-
    • Good: A+ dance moves, shotgun skills, witty humor, cute af, etc.
    • Bad: lol the fuck you thought, Chris is perfect bye.
~게 되다 end up

As in, something ended up the way it did out of your control… in a way.

제가 미워하는 사람의 파티에 가게 됐어요.

I ended up going to the person i hate’s party. (As a result of some external force)

전 닭튀김을 안 좋아하는데 먹게 됐어요. 

Even though I dont like fried chicken, I ended up eating it anyway.


Sometimes 어쩌다 will be added to a sentence with ~게 되다

어쩌다 닭튀김을 먹게 됐어요. 

I ended up eating fried chicken.


어쩌다 doesnt really have a meaning on its own (sorry for the bad typing. I cut my finger today woops)

anonymous asked:

How long would you recommend fasting? And how often? I don't do well with just eating one thing, it turns into a binge. Thanks for your time xx

Same. Fastin isnt even that bad, but once it comes to going back to food thats the worst. I usually do 3 days every week. I dont know why but it just always turns out around the 3 days. But recently, ive been doing 5 days besically school week fasts. I dont have time to eat because of exams and therefore dont eat and it doesnt really affect me negatively except for constant headaches. :/ but depends on whether you fasted before or not. If not start of with either doing a 24hour fast or do 2-3 days with only eating breakfasts, that helps weightloss as well :)😇❤ take care

lowkeydiana13  asked:

Do you have some tips on preventing binging and snacking? I always get away with it by saying that i will purge later ... i know thats bad for me but thats the only way i dont feel guilty, please help me if you have some tips! Love your acc btw❤

thanks for messaging me! i know what you mean, i get craving so much especially at night after dinner. i usually brush my teeth and shower and get ready for bed right after dinner (even if it’s only 9 pm). this way i feel too clean to eat anything more. during the day, i pinch at my finger fat when i feel cravings coming on. i also say “i’ll eat a snack in fifteen minutes” and keep extending that time 15 minutes more when time’s up. some people also do the rubber band trick where they stretch and let go of a rubber band on their wrists when they feel cravings coming on. hope this answered your question well! stay safe ❤️

My problem about skam this season is not only about even not having the backstory he deserves and that julie teased about through the entire season, dont get me wrong I’m fucking pissed that even’s past and sa were used only as a lame plot device both he and henrik deserve SO MUCH BETTER. But I’m so fucking pissed about all the rest as well?? Like remember how the girls completely ignored sana in clip 1 of ep 1 when they didnt even bother to have a pizza sana could eat??? Or when they didnt care of sana didnt want them to meet her brother and his friends??? Or them not even noticing how bad sana was feeling this entire time and not even wanting to know why sana made that hate account about sara??? Does julie really think that the girls buying a van and flipping off the pepsi max squad makes up for what awful friends they’ve been to sana?? And in the end it was all sana’s fault and she was the only one blamed for the twitter mess, completely dismissing the fact that the real villain here was sara?
You know what I’m also mad about? Noora, always noora… Was it necessary to have her so fucking peresent this season? And does julie really think that yousef “sana and i are soulmates” acar would go and kiss noora at a party were his actual crush is at and could see them? Yeah right… And isak, oh isak is definitely the guy who gets drunk and punches an old friend of even’s out of jealousy right?
I could go on for eternity listing all the things in this season that makes me mad but the point is, I really was llokong forward to seein Sana’s season because i realy thought there was so much potential, it’s really sad how this season as turned out.

torbjorn keeps offering mccree candy but the only candy he ever buys is milk duds which he knows mccree dislikes and no matter what mccree asks him to get from the store he only ever buys the biggest box of milk duds he can find but the worst part is ever since this whole thing started torbjorn is literally constantly chewing milk duds really loudly and talking about how much he likes milk duds while he has milk duds in his mouth he wont stop spilling half chewed milk duds on the carpet and then offering them to mccree this is too much i can testify mccree is standing right next to me and he is crying there are so many boxes of milk duds in the pantry i cant even get to my cereal i cant even see the cereal behind all the milk duds this is bad enough for me but i dont think mccree can take much more of this milk dud business hes taken to stress eating hes eating so much hay im worried about him

yourmemehell  asked:

I noticed and I know this isn't oc related, but I need help. I'm having really bad impulses to watch a movie I know will trigger a panic attack and idk what to do. I dont really have a whole lot to distract myself with. Hell, idk what else I can do. And even when I ignore the impulses i get bad curiosity and its eating me up.

Ooh, that’s tough. I’d try taking some deep breaths or watching a movie you used to like as a kid. Look at pictures of cute animals, watch cute videos, listen to classical music, etc. If you need to talk, I’m here for you!

anonymous asked:

weve been told pregnancy wont work with a ghoul as the mother! This is either bad angst fuel or a '''miracle''' will happen and it works to make her seem so pure and good. tbh id read the hell outta a fic where ken realizes hes mistreated and gets with hide, can even include the kid with them since i dont trust HER with it.

Tbh I don’t get why she is even eating human food. Kaneki is part ghoul now so the kid will be mostly ghoul, it wouldn’t be a fucking human kid but I guess Ishida just wants angst material.

But seriously. Like what I wouldn’t give for Hide coming back and Kaneki getting out of this abusive relationship with Touka.

I also would be hella down for joint custody of the kid going back and forth between Touka and Kaneki (who lives with uncle Hide. He is a cool uncle, the coolest uncle). Because I don’t thing she would be a horrible mom, but I deff want that dad Kaneki and uncle Hide content.