i dont care if its been posted already im posting it now

Nervous Touch| Jimin

Jimin is known for his charm on stage but when the lights cut out he cant help but become flustered. Its something you’ve learned to deal with but often grow tired of. Maybe Jimin will show you what actually riddles beneath the flustered boy he once was.

Originally posted by marikit257

Warning: Cussing, smut, flustered Jiminie!, then out of no where hot sexy Jiminie!

Genre: Smut and a lovely amount of fluff

Word count: 7.4K

A/N: Im sorry i meant to upload this yesterday but i didnt have my laptop to post it and i tried to post it on my phone but it fucked up. Here it is now tho, please enjoy the trash that i write


Life was enough of a struggle at the tender age of finally being able to find yourself. Being surrounded by hard studies and your parents attempting to guide you only driving your insanity. All though my plate was already full of these things it only grew larger as i was brought into the lime light. Instead of the guidance and judgment i gained from my parents they came from other peers. everybody judge your every movement, every talk and every blink. I however didn’t ask for it but my boyfriend Jimin did so willingly. Jimin had been one of the very handsome members of BTS. He was known for his witty charm and irresistible ways but however when the light was taken away from him he was quite the opposite. He became soft and warm hearted when around me always making sure i was cared for.

Jimin held two personas, one where he is on stage as the cheers and roars from the crowd fuel his energy and sexy behavior. The audience always encouraged this persona making him crave it even more. His other persona was the one I was familiar with, the one where he was so afraid of touching me, as if i was a porcelain doll and i might break at any moment.

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Request - Could you please do a Harry x reader where’s she’s the daughter of Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen so she’s really good at cooking and Harry always bothers her to make him little snacks and pastries so they end up baking late at night
Requested by - Anonymous
Word Count - 1,158
Pairing - Harry Hook x Reader (Tiana and Naveen’s Daughter)



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modelling in maya part one

so (low poly) modelling in maya is something i’ve been learning about recently, and getting started has been something i’ve had some difficulty with for a few years now LMAO.

so this is gonna be a real quick post to help other people get started.
im using maya 2016

in this part i’ll b covering like, physically Making something. part two where i talk about uv editing n texturing ur model is here: http://helpfulharrie.tumblr.com/post/163022352736


first im just gonna go over your workspace, so you know how to change things to suit what you’re doing.

if you hold down space, you’ll bring up this menu

clicking and holding on one will bring up a radial menu, the one i use the most is just the middle Maya one, which lets you change view

you can also change your window layout on the left here

if you want to change a window in your current layout just click the little arrow in the square, and you’ll get a menu of options

and if you right click on one of the buttons, you can change what layout is assigned to it or edit your layouts and make your own


anyway. so, modelling. its not actually that complicated! its time consuming, but once you know your tools you’ll be able to make stuff 👌

- first you want to make sure you’re on the modelling menu in the dropdown, and on your shelf you want to have the polygons tab open.

the shapes there are your polygon primitives, and the base of models that you’ll make. I personally usually start with a cube, cause it doesnt have any triangles in it.

(idk much about tris vs quads? but i do know that triangles dont edge loop!! so i avoid them, and most people say to try stick with quads where possible anyway)

- to make a primitive, you can just click on the shape there,

or if you want more options you can go to create > polygon primitives > and if you click the little box next to the one you want, you’ll open up the window for it

- so now you’ve got your cube (or whatever), and you want to do something with it.

if you hold down right click, you can change what part you’re selecting

you’ll be in object mode at the moment, which selects the whole thing. for changing the shape, the main ones you’ll be using are edge, vertex, and face!

to just select these, you want to use this tool

if you hold down shift, you can select and deselect multiple things, and in edge mode if you double click on an edge it’ll select all the other ones that loop around the model (edge loop)

- to manipulate these, look to the left of your screen at these bad boys.

you can select things with these tools also, they work the same as the select tool above!

anyway in order these are move, rotate, and scale. the different nodes are the different axis that you can transform on,

when you’re using the move tool, i strongly recommend only using the x / y / z axis on their own (the arrows)

cause if you use the combination ones,, it’s hard to actually know how you’re moving stuff cause its in a 3d space… and you’re looking at it on a 2d screen, so it could actually be moving down the z axis and you think its just the y axis!

so be careful, especially in perspective view. always remember to rotate your view to look at it from all angles, or work in one of the orthographic views (side/front/back/top etc) so theres no distortion.


so thats how to edit what you already have, but you’re probably going to want to do more than make a weird shaped cube.

to add more edges and faces n shit you want to get to know two new tools: extrude, and insert edge loop.

- insert edgeloop you find under mesh tools > insert edge loop, and then you just click (hold to adjust the placement) to add a new edge loop around your model

or alternatively you can hold shift+right click, and it’s on the list there.

- extrude you find under Edit Mesh > Extrude. you can also find it on the shift+right click menu above.

to use it, first you want to select a face, and then when you hit the extrude button it will look like this

ill be real i have no idea how to use those nodes, i just switch back to the move/rotate/resize tools at the side! also you wanna extrude faces and not edges.

anyway, you can move the face up   

or, you can scale it down!

this is useful to remember for making stuff like eyes, and also you can extrude again to hollow things out


another one you might want is the multicut tool (mesh tools > multicut), but that will primarily be for editing your mesh when you want to rearrange what edges are connected to what vertices.

You can use it to make edge loops, but i prefer to use the edge loop tool for that!


anyway! those are the basic tools in maya you’ll use to make stuff. theres loads of videos out there that explain how to use maya in more depth if you need it, but this should be enough to get started!

Your Nerd; Renjun

request :
yo i know you are kinda nervous in ur writing and probably skeptical about how it turns out but.. dont worry,, its lovely and enjoyable:>> CAN I REQUEST FOR A RENJUN FLUFF where hes like a nerd that helps u in homework cus your his tablemate omg tats so cute okay abt sth liddat BYE KEKKEKEKEKE

a/n : well hello anon! sorry for the delay in posting this up; ive had some troubles and many school events to organise, i apologise ;-; anyways, i hope its okay!! im sorry if i didnt actually emphasise on the nerd part iM SO SORRY ;-; anyways, thank you for requesting!! 💕🐳

genre : fluff, nerd!Renjun

————————•

You sank further into your seat, finding a comfortable position before closing your eyes. It has been eight hours of school with two more to go. The sounds of someone trudging in and placing their bag on the seat beside you was heard. Knowing who it was without even opening your eyes, you began making inhumane noises whilst complaining about how your brain was filled with too much information after math class on trigonometry. “Renjun how the hell are you not dead yet? Theres like two more hours of having to absorb information i swear i-” you stopped your words right there when you saw Renjun fishing out a container filled with food and a cup of chocolate frappe. “I knew you would complain again so i told my mom to cook for you food as well so we can study and do homework together! Anyways its our free period now, its lesson for the Econs students,” he said slinging on your bag over his before you could protest, ready to head off to the cafeteria’s study area. You could only blush in embarrassment as the both of you walked away from the classroom. It was these simple things that this little nerd by the name Huang Renjun did to make you fall for him hard after being seatmates for three years. You never told him or even anyone about it; simply to avoid embarrassment, rejection and the loss of friendship.

**********

“Hnfff why do they need to make life harder by combining mensuration with trigonometry and Pythagoras’ Theorem and congruency when they could be four separate questions,” you groaned in disapproval as you flipped on to the next page of the math homework Renjun had brought over to your house. Being sick definitely let you skip school with a valid reason but that only means a whole lot to catch up on afterwards. Just your luck that Renjun knew your address and actually offered to stay with you and teach you the lessons taught in class. “Well you’d better start doing it; its actually not that difficult I’d say,” Renjun said as he took a tray from the dressing table beside your bed, “stay put and finish this question and the question afterwards. I’m going down to heat your porridge and bring your medicine. Oh, triangle PQR is congruent to triangle XYR by the way!” He then went down to the kitchen while humming. You made a grim face as you stared back at the printed questions on the papers in front of you. “If i could get smarter at every time i smile at the thought of that snaggle toothed boy, I’d probably already have a doctorate in mathematics and rocket science,” the pencil in your hand dropped onto your leg as you muttered under your breath. You sat there on your bed, drifting off to wonderland as you flipped through the other pages. Suddenly a page filled with post-its and coloured ink caught your attention. You frowned as you thought about what Renjun could have doodled on your paper as he had always done before; moomin, random objects in your pencil case or maybe even a sponge he found in the art room. Careful to not let any of the post-its to fall off, you gently lifted the stapled papers and flipped to that page. Your eyes were being greeted by your favourite colours being used to write your name in cursive and post-its with his handwriting on around it. Words in capital letters screamed “READ HERE FIRST” as you eyed the details of the neat calligraphy of your name. “1. heyyyyyyy idek how to start this but first of thank you for existing and taking notice of me five years back when we werent seatmates yet hehe,” the first post it above your name melted your heart as you continued on to the next one. “2. also can i just say that your eyes are just!! so!! pretty!! so is your smile, i want to see that toothy grin you give me everyday!” you covered you mouth and grinned as you read the last sentence. “3. you must be wondering why the sudden sweet messages and especially on your homework welp anyways im a nerd so sticky notes it is :P” You giggled upon reading the third post-it. Ah, why is he so cute? you thought to yourself. “4. Trust me, you’re really beautiful. Dont let others tell you otherwise because if they do, tell them to catch my fists ;) And yes, i just did call call you beautiful because you are, from the inside out, everything about you is beautiful. I love you so much i get carried away sometimes thinking about you.” Your eyes instinctively widened in surprise as you did a double-take on the last sentence. “5. Yes, you read that right. Even after your cute little double takes when ur shooketh™ hehe :)) And yes i love you more then just how our platonic friendship is, i love you more than just as a friend. So now look up ;)” You looked up in confusion to see Renjun sitting at the edge of your bed with your porridge and a few roses in hand. “Be my girlfriend?” a pink-cheeked Renjun said as you nodded, tearing up a little and he embraced you. You felt complete and in place in his arms. He looked down and kissed your forehead; an immediate instinct he felt the need to comply to. “Yah, you’re such a nerd its too cute i swear,” you said as you looked up, remaining in that position. “At least im your nerd now,” he smirked, cupping your heated face.

2

Working desk job means exactly this: apartment, tube, workplace, tube, apartment. It’s hard to find sunlight anymore, but he doesn’t think he minds: maybe he’s already used to this. It’s been longer than he cares to remember. 

He spends about two hours a day on the tube - not much compared to the amount of time he spends in his booth at work, but he doesn’t really register those eight hours. It’s like his mind switches itself off the moment he arrives to work and leaves him running on muscle memory alone. Time operates the same way when he’s at home, so by now maybe he’s only really conscious during the two hours on the tube. 

[…]

Sometimes he stays back on the tube past his stop. Sometimes until it reaches the end of the line. Sometimes he takes the tube with the intention of going somewhere specific, but then just sits there as his destination flies past him into the dark tunnel he’s just passed. Sometimes he goes down into the stop, just to hear the quiet again. 

Sometimes he sees maintenance doors somewhere in the tunnels, and for no reason he keeps their locations in mind. 

[…]

Sometimes the tube takes a turn that he doesn’t recognize, and he feels his heart beating faster all of a sudden. He would stare at the railway through the window pane, counting the seconds, until the tube runs past a corner he knows, or until he reaches his destination. Those moments still happen to him after two years of taking the tube to go… anywhere, really. He thinks he has the whole map learned by heart by now, but the underground keeps proving him wrong. 

[…]

There’s a community online for tube dwellers. He doesn’t know any of the dozen of members, online or offline, but he has come by some of them on other forums before. They don’t seem to be of any particular profile: there are men, there are women, ranged from 20 to maybe older than 50. The posts are few and far between, but some of them detail everything reachable by the tube. There are things even he doesn’t know. 

He screenshots some of the posts and keeps the photos in a separate folder, for no particular reason. 

The community hasn’t had a new activity for about three months by now. The members call themselves Rats. He checks through some of their personal pages on that site; the ones he checks have all been abandoned. 

Maybe they’re tired of the lack of sunlight in the tube, he thinks on the way to work. The tube sways and trembles quietly, its hum fills the air. Humans aren’t made for the underground afterall. 

concept of something vaguely formed in my head. I call it Rats of Spice City. 

anon:answer - part1

Anon ask : please do theories from jongin’s perspective ;_;

Eyy there anon-nie, sorry for the very delayed reply (actually I had written my answer earlier, but my tumblr inbox crashed /cry blood/ bc apparently my gifs+nonsensewords game is too strong)

your eyes, prepare them *dundundun*

ADDED: SORRY, I have posted it earlier/yesterday but shit happened (the gifs/picts missing mannnn) and then I had to delete it /le cry blood again/ since im such a tumblr noob

[As always, this is how I perceive things* (*things = dem kaisoo moments), I am not a professional nor qualified nor certificated nor expert of “body language and all that jazz”. i do not know these boys personally, everything is based on things* I have found/seen on internet cuz I have no life, this prob will be weird and deluded af]

Note #1: even tho this is “from jongin’s perspective” my words are written NOT on the behalf of jongin nor kyungsoo. I don’t and never will claim to speak on the behalf of either of them. This is from deluded 3rd person/outsider/stranger’s point of view.

Note #2: I am a trash and I have no shame to remind it to y’all. So if u think shipping is annoying, kaisoo is annoying, kaisoo shipper is annoying and fking deluded and loud cuz they cant control their feels and apparently they are at fault too bc many people appreciate their works (such as fanfics and fanarts etc) –

tbh how can that even be their fault? Like u mad cuz other ppl get compliments, like honestly? r u for real? Like fuck logic, yeah? And you are angry cuz we are loud here in tumblr? Loud about kaisoo on kaisoo tag? Like what? I mean what? Just… I don’t understand? I thought we r all liberals here man. I don’t know that our freedom of speech is limited here on tumblr? Then where should we speak out loud then? where should we spazz and vent out our feelings then? on the street? Yelling like an actual crazy person? I thought dictatorial communism isn’t part of internet but I guess I am wrong, of course we have to follow you oh the mighty and glorious majesty, the ruler of the internet, of course we shall seal our lips, or more like tie our fingers, to stop us worshipping our holy ship. Of course.

– anyway, if you are one of those people, skip this post. Don’t ever look at it. Forget it exists. you can leave me a hate mail and I wouldn’t care – please be creative if you do though ahaha no.

Note #3: since I feel this topic has a really wide range (since there are so many things that had happened on this ship to be discussed), so im gonna separate this answer into parts (the reason is bc I don’t want to risk any thing again since this is my 2nd attempt already and if this thing becomes too long again and then shit happens, like crashed or the image wouldn’t load bc of my noob-ish-ness, at least it wont take such amount of time for me to re-do it…),

anyway, this [PART1] will contain: jongin’s “don’t want to eat with that hyung” moment that turned into “become the closest the fastest”, to how he smiles at soo, looking, touching, ‘cute&love’ associated w/ ksoo

again im crazy dont listen to me /hurr-durr/ 

Now lets get this started; just like with soo before, Im gonna start with “I don’t want to eat with that hyung”

He looked so guilty when yeol mentioned and then yeol mentioned they [kaisoo] became the closest in exo. Im gonna be honest here, I don’t have any conspiracy theory/delulu shit to say opinion on jongin’s part/action, since this event of misunderstanding was occurred bc of ksoo’s action and I think I have explained it enough in my first post about the reason that I believe why ksoo couldn’t look at jongin

still im gonna remind y’all why I take astigmatism as such a bullshit reason, bc:

1. no other members had complained about this “he didn’t want to look at me” about soo, it’s only kai, and as far as I know the only thing that lil bit similar to this was; (in some translation notes) lay said that “i thought d.o was cold but turn out he isn’t, he is friendly” ((?) not exact words but basically that was what he said, btw this is from magazine interview, I don’t remember what magazine),

yet (IMHO) this feels very far different with jongin’s “don’t want to eat w/ that hyung”, bc even tho lay thought ksoo was cold it didn’t have that much impact on him, lay only said this as his first impression (bc he said “I thought…”, meaning that he only felt like that, right?) and he didn’t push it any further, unlike jongin who seemed to take it – ksoo’s attitude – seriously (proven by him didn’t want to eat with ksoo)… well of course I mean jongin did say ksoo didn’t want to look at him (so it makes sense?) and unlike in lay’s case, “he felt/thought [ksoo was a cold]”, in jongin’s case “he experienced it [soo didn’t want to look at him]”, do u get what am I saying? can you already feel my delulu radiates from your screen? Hm?

2. Now let’s “pretend” that astigmatism was the real reason ksoo couldn’t look at jongin. then why only jongin? I suspect ksoo must have avoided jongin(‘s eyes) often in their early/first encounters, bc it left such a deep impression (that made jongin didn’t want to go out together w/ him), if it was only one or two times ksoo didn’t look at jongin when they were talking….

(why I assume “when they were talking” while the gif[‘s sub] only said “he wouldn’t look at me”? bc jongin knew soo didn’t look at him, meaning he looked at soo while soo doing this [avoiding his eyes/face], then why he looked at soo when soo did this? why he found soo’s action was rude? at that time they just barely met, if soo was idle or busy doing his own things, ofc jongin wouldn’t find it rude for soo not look at him. thus it makes sense to conclude that soo didn’t look at jongin when they were talking),

…then jongin wouldn’t have such an impression about soo (bc if its just once or twice, you wouldn’t think about it right? You prob wouldn’t make a big a deal about something that happened for once or twice that involves someone you just met, but jongin had such impression about soo, meaning this had happened quite a lot/in repetitive pattern for him to notice and took it inside his heart/mind).

I’m not that knowledgeable about astigmatism but what I know is this eyes condition mainly causing your vision to be distorted and blurred, so based on these two major symptoms, (imo) it doesn’t make sense that astigmatism caused soo couldn’t look at jongin’s properly while they were talking…. (if jongin said “ksoo stared at me a lot when we’re talking” or “ksoo often squinted his eyes when he talked to me” etc etc… then it would match [more fit/appropriate] with ksoo’s eyes condition, instead of “he [ksoo] didn’t want to look at me. i thought he was in bad mood…” being paired with “bc ksoo has astigmatism”, imo it doesn’t fit at all….but prob just me idk IM A TRASH OKAY, A BIASED TRASH, don’t listen to me)

And after this “didn’t want to eat w/ that hyung” incident happened and solved they became the closest. I cant make any speculation/delulu theory about how they made up, bc until this day there is no interview about it nor any other members *coughchanyeolcoughcough* blabber about it, so I assume that how the way they solved this misunderstanding is only exclusive for them to know (perhaps someone outside exo knows or maybe other members know, but like I have said before that maybe there is some sort of unspoken rules for certain things between other members…)

I suspect that this misunderstanding was solved w/ jongin as the initiator bc i had mentioned jongin is a blunt person (as it had been said by some members in a radio interview)  even tho he is quite reserved like ksoo in my prev post, 

so MAYBE he asked soo why soo avoiding to look at him or MAYBE this thing was resolved bc they were being paired in the same room in the dorm and sooner or later soo had to look at jongin (soo couldn’t avoid him forever) and then bam they became closer; prob bc they have same interests? Like movie, anime/cartoon; pororo, prince of tennis, one piece: [jongin’s phone stickers, soo imitated franky on the stage when exo in japan], jongin’s ‘crayon/pencil shincan’ sticker on his phone case… (I sound so creepy rn… don’t judge me mmkay, I gained this information once upon a time when I was browsing tumblr at 2 AM. my brain decided to burn this info inside my memory…) MAYBE is the key-word cuz I don’t know shit okay, im deluded af

I mean MAYBE, I am all wrong here, maybe all the things i have written are bunch of crazy bullshit, maybe we are all wrong here, and need to visit the asylum for seeing things, bc they could be just a pair of mere co-workers, nothing beyond that, it could be just how S.Korean men do skinship to show the over-flowing cares and attentions they have to each other inside their beautiful, blooming and wonderful friendship. what do I know anyway I’m just an uncultured ignorant swine

something interesting also happens between the members bc of this “don’t wanna eat w/ that hyung” incident bc they like to make fun of jongin about this matter, like why? why the other members love to rub this incident on jongin’s face? do they think this incident as something special, is it bc this thing is so ironic since now kaisoo is the closest? But don’t you think it’s a lil bit too much, I mean IF kaisoo just a pair of regular friends then why other members try that hard to remind jongin of his awkward misunderstanding about his closest hyung in front of the camera? Why do they enjoy it so much to put jongin in such flustered condition? Why?

I just love how chanyeol threw that topic, again, twice.

I mean look at him, his smile was so full of guilty… and the smile only lasted for few seconds…

“cant look bc of astigmatism”…  later on this guy stretched himself on top of jongin without blinking

Now lets move on from ‘don’t wanna eat with that hyung’ to ‘become the closest members’, as you may have known, after a while yeol moved in kaisoo’s room, in radio interview (I don’t have the link, nor I have watched it, I only saw the gifs or was it translation notes? Idr…) yeol said that kai always locks the bathroom door when he takes shower (I assume that each room in the dorm has its own bathroom, since if yeol was talking about shared bathroom, then why he mentioned this habit of kai few weeks later after he moved in with kaisoo then? why he didn’t notice this habit and then blabber it sooner before he moved in? hence I think he was talking about kai’s habit in their shared bedroom’s bathroom),

(Okay thanks to the anon who told me before, I watched the video again, so basically the lady asked kai (for dancing in the shower) bc D.O mentioned it first. It was around the minutes 35-ish. Exo Sina Interview.)

 the gifs above telling us that ksoo walked in when jongin was taking shower (and dancing too), why he didn’t lock the door when (as far as I know at that time) he and soo shared bedroom only for 2 of them? Hmmmm? yeah there is probability his habit of locking the bathroom door started bc of this event, BUT when he mentioned about D.O saw him, he didnt look, uncomfortable? ashamed? he giggled… like “lol hyung saw me”, so it makes me doubt he starts the locking bathroom door thingy bc of this BUT HEY THIS IS PERHAPS JUST ME SEEING THINGS FROM DELUSHIT EYES

Look at him changing his shoulders stance and then threw a damn smirk at the end. He was in ‘guarded’ position – his arms were placed in front of his body (according to some articles that I have read, if a person lying they would put something as a barrier; it could be their arms, purse, a cup, etc, between them and the other person / interviewer), so hommie aint lying about their pororo ritual bc he ‘unguarded’ as soon as he mentioned “me and kyungsoo…” (again this is just how I see things, also notice he gulped first before he spoke, his cheeks/jaw tensed and then his corner lips tugged up too. Before he spoke he was in hunched position, when he spoke he moved his upper torso, leaning it forward, like in “attacking” stance? Like um, proud of the words that flow out his mouth? IDK IM CRAZY YO PERHAPS JUST OVERNANALYZING THINGS

Many others (including me) have notice he often has a proud expression when he talks about ksoo (or when other praises soo, like when suho talked about ‘chart’, or when ksoo sings), and that damn smirk he gave after he said “[we] watch pororo together” was like a mocking? Idk like ‘bitch me and soo have special ritual and u don’t how sad ur life is /laughs/’. idk maybe this is just me ;__; /save me from this delusional state/

Also speaking of pororo I heard that jongin bought his niece a bucket of flower and a pororo doll /cue to scream like banshee/, the anon (not my anon btw, it was kyungsoosbumhole’s anon who said this) speculated that the reason jongin brought 2 gifts bc one of them from ksoo? Idk if it’s true but even tho im not sure but just thinking about it makes me giddily happy  

And I know this is about jongin now, but look at soo when jongin said soo was the tidiest and soo fucking bit his lips cuz he was so fucking giddy like “omigash jongin praises me AFHGSFDHLG” 

soo fucking folded jongin’s shirt and when he got praised by jongin he looked so giddily happy and it seems he only does this to jongin bc no other members said about this (like for ex other would say ‘yeah he folded mine too! He is so tidy!’, but no one did so)… again just jongin… /groan happily/

i’ve heard that soo helps around the dorm, I heard he cooks (the manager said he does this often on weekend, suho also said that ksoo helped him in the dorm – something involving cooking while if its cleaning, xiumin will handle it), he even wiped luhan’s sweat, he tied tao’s shoelaces and he helped yeol often too (with his mic, outfit, etc)

but when he does it to jongin, it’s different? I mean he blew jongin’s mic for fuck sake and always there to fuss over about jongin (jongin’s mic – the one that being hold and the one that being glued on their face/cheek, non-existent eyelashes, water bottles, clothes, etc), its like jongin gets special treatment,

also folding shirt is quite personal don’t cha think? like usually people would just nag and throw the shirt somewhere else if their just-platonic-hommie-bro-roommate being a pig, …or the hommies would be ‘like nah man just move it somewhere else I’ll deal with it later’, perhaps ‘they would say thanks dude for folding my shirt’ but will they show it off later to the world? Like ‘hey you know what? My hommie folded my shirt yesterday! He is so neat! … and also very cute and also he makes me want to coddle him, and he makes me smile all the time idk he’s just very cute, and his lips look so plushy too, I want to touch them while I feed them sweet, but you know, of course in the most heterosexual way… #no homo’

and this might sound sexist (I know this does NOT apply to ALL, so sorry in advance boys) but it’s rare for boys do this, especially do this for another boy’s sake; unless they are really really really close like so close they did eskimo kiss on the stage… and don’t give me, OMIGOSH ITS JUST ABOUT THE ANGLE OF THE CAMERA, bc no, man, no, they were standing straight right in the front of camera – if baek and jonghyun didn’t stand in front of them, we could see them clearly – so, what angle? Like what is this angle do you speak of? Is this angle the same creature as kim jongin’s non-existent fallen eyelashes that do kyungsoo picked off his cheek? I mean if its from the side, sure, but straight in front of camera? and they also pressed their cheeks together after that eskimo kiss, is that the magic of camera’s angle again??  Sure, hon),

ofc this is just camera’s angle playing trick to us

another version

THE CAMERA ANGLE IS CASTING A SPELL TO OUR EYES

there are many other moments about jongin showing off his love  uh-pardon me—i mean his very platonic best friend :)  soo to the world (or more like stage, just look how often he points soo when soo is singing) or showing off how close they are (like that “we watch pororo together”, “we created fake cinema, JUST THE TWO OF US, with popcorn too”, “he saw me dancing naked”, “I dun call him hyung cuz we’re close”, “he is not quiet you have to know how to approach him” etc…), it would make me write a damn book with sequel too if I decided to discuss about all of them moments, cuz there are so many…

now lets move on to how jongin always associate ksoo with cute, heart, and love… tbh I would like to simply just say ‘hommie is so whipped af’, but I think the asking anon wouldn’t be satisfied if I only answer with that

so again, IMO, It seems that jongin really adores ksoo,  bc the constant “cute” and “love” he keeps associate with soo seem sincere, I don’t believe this is part of fanservice… like when he chose that s.e.s – love song for soo, too subtle to be fanservice and when he called soo cute (when baek said soo looked dumb) he looked startled ((?) like ‘oh shit’) when he realized that there was a camera, or that “hyung should take care of his voice, I’m worried, I love you”, he looked really sincere when he said this, but what do I know I’m just a fucking trash

he mouthed gwi yeo weo  귀여워 , which means ‘you’re cute’, right?

yeol and luhan hesitated but jongin immediately pointed at soo

lol hyung so funny

look at jongin stopped smiling as soon as baek looked at his direction (and baek had his mouth clamped when he saw jongin muttered cute) 

in the video he didnt even laugh/grin when he said this, his face just straight (and then he dropped the paper and that was it)

Mind you that he said “i’ll only give you an unchanging love” instead of S.E.S – love (bc it was supposed to be a clue, I guess, so he couldn’t say the song’s title)

his name wasn’t even mentioned by soo yet people know it was him who wrote this bc;

1. He had said this to soo before and had associated the word love with soo before (showtime),

2. He grinned happily and had expecting eyes looking at soo when soo read the poem,

3. Soo didn’t mention any name and immediately talking about chanyeol’s poem, even tho the host said “ah the member who wrote this must be lovable/precious”, if it was nothing for soo, soo would tell  who was the one who wrote it [read out loud the writers name] after the host mentioned those words, but he didn’t. why?

The point is jongin never cracked a mocking grin or made an awkward face when he declared his love, he either said it seriously or he grinned happily (when soo read oranghae poem) and for the “cute part”, I think it’s obvious enough for us to see that kim jongin finds do kyungsoo cute. Maybe this is just me being a trash biased, but imo jongin looks at soo with so much adoration in his eyes /cry cuz it’s so beautiful/ and don’t give me that OMIGOSH JONGIN LOOKS AT EVRY1 LIEK THAT bc fuck no. has he ever followed the other members’ movement w/ his eyes like this?

Or has he ever turned around 180o so he could look at other members?

has he ever been immediately snapping his neck just to see them speaking? (look at his neck/nape/shoulders twitched when soo began talking)

idk this is prob bc im deluded af but near the end i see his neck/jaw twitched before he turned around to face soo, as if he already wanted to turn around but refrain to do so since he was still talking to suho

chanyeol talked again but he still looked at ksoo

has he ever ignoring ksoo’s speech so he could look at other members like this?

baek singing but nini still stared at soo

soo only spke 2 words, i remember watching this video, and i think soo said “thank you”, kris was speaking bc they were interviewed in english, anyway soo only spoke 2 words then kris continued speaking again and jongin still has his eyes at him

suho spoke, baek was in his own world, yeol stare at the cameraman’s soul while kaisoo stared at each other, look at soo gulping, he looked at jongin and then his orbs darted down and the corners of his lips twitch

Also I have seen in YT where ksoo beatboxing and sehun danced, jongin looked at sehun BUT he didn’t smile, yet we have seen jongin smiled when soo dances in front of him

near the end of the gif, he tilted his head to soo’s direction and then smiled

near the end, his body already wanted to move to the left (our left) to do hip-thrust, but his head still in ksoo’s butt direction

there is nothing to be pointed out bc clearly his eyes were checking out his bae soo

Talk about smiling, maybe this is bc im so fking deluded and biased trash but I notice that whenever jongin laughs, he often turns his head to soo, like he wants to see soo when he’s laughing, just check on pepero commercial for example and there are also gifs 

it was soo on the bottom, and tell me right in the eyes that he didnt stare at soo and smiled )later on he got distracted bc suho got up)

why he didnt just smile at yeol instead, and i notice lay (i think) spoke too, why only smiled at soo’s talking? HMMMM?

he stared for a bit, turned around but then soo started laughing (snorted) and he turned his head again to face soo and then grinned

And like before, I have read some articles about if someone turns their head to [face] another person when they’re laughing/smiling basically meaning that they want to share their happiness to that person, and also it indicates that person as the source of their happiness/joy/good feeling/etc – hence that’s why they want to look at that person when they’re smiling/laughing, unconsciously hoping that their smile/laugh will become contagious to that person. Plus I heard smiling is one of the signs of attraction…

BUT I AM JUST A CONDEMNED DELUDED TRASH WITH NO LIFE WHAT DO I KNOW ANYWAY I KNOW NOTHING

Erhm

lets move on to touching,

first I would like to point on how they always do this naturally, and it makes me thinking perhaps it’s a habit? And we have seen how they often do this backstage (when they aren’t performing, when there is no fangirl to be satisfied with “opparr playful gheiness”);

he could just tap soo’s clothed arm/bicep and then told soo to move closer, but noooo he decided to grabbed soo’s bare hand instead

pulled off soo’s hoodies then rubbed soo’s shoulder

he stared at soo and then moved his head closer (look at him treated soo like a puppy (honestly the way he stares/acts at soo remind me of how someone would stare at their kids/puppies/kittens/lovedones/cutestuffs, like awwwing, but idk CUZ IM DELULU TRASH)

/grab soo’s arm and dragged soo closer/ i wonder what xiumin thought

compared to chen, he only nudged chen lightly ‘OMG HYUNG THIS HAND’S MOVEMET IS SO FUUNNYY AHAHAAHASGHKHDK’

first pict, look at him grabbed soo’s arm

he dragged soo to be closer with him, and i notice there was a lady there, so either he wanted to speak/whisper to soo (but soo’s mouth aint moving tho, it could be he just whispered) or he didnt want to soo to get close to that lady

Second, how they touch these so called intimate area or erogenous zone

soo looked at camera and also rubbed nini’s hand

then arm rubbing stopped, jongin rubbed soo’s knee (bc soo’s arm looked free now/off jongins hand/ behind the bottles), broship much

soo moved back when he noticed there was a camera

sliding from nape to throat

why jongin ducked his head when soo stared at him, was he shy? jfc nini u had ur hand on his neck, u practically manhandled soo to stand closer yet u got shy when he stared at you? that male host tho

External image

jongin moved his leg so their knees touched, also it seems his leg placed under soo’s leg/calf

Anyway neck is one of the erogenous area, you could trigger a wet/bonner/both moment if someone caressed ur neck, or u prob will feel ticklish , or both (horny+ticklish) but soo doesn’t react about this, as if jongin is used to do this to him (and lemme remind u when chen and tao tried to touch him – on his thigh – he removed their arms, but when jongin did it, he didn’t. jongin put his palm on his neck, bare neck. Don’t u think bare neck is more sensitive than clothed thigh? and not just bare neck, but the front part – the soft and vulnerable part – of his neck, not his nape (bc I notice some ahjussi would put their arm on some youngster’s [clothed] nape or other members would do this to him too/each other)

Sure this can be seen as something playful (bc once upon a time when I was in HS, some guys did this as a type of joke – they would ewwwwww-ing and then laughing like a llama after they did it)

But this? THIS? most ppl would flinch/back away like “dude the fuck r u doing?” as soon as they see their mate’s hand flying directly to their crotch, but soo didn’t. he just stood there, as if it is NOT something surprising for jongin to do.. hmmmmmm.. and don’t give me that’s how S.Korean men skinship works bullshit /HONESTLY?/

Speaking of zipper, I also have something to say about this… this shit has been bugging me for a long time;

am I the only one who think that jongin was talking about soo’s belt? (bc I have seen this gif set couple of times in this site, yet the caption is always about “what do you mean jongin?” or “what?” etc) and what I mean belt is not the seat belt, but the belt around the waist, the belt that you wear on your pants.

jongin mentioned about soo’s baggy pants, meaning soo wears belt so his pants won’t drop (cuz it’s so baggy/lose yo), but why would jongin mention such thing then? it makes sense to wear a belt if your jeans/outdoor pants lose, so it makes me thinking that the “baggy pants” he mentioned was indoor pants, like sweat pants/hip-hop-pants/soft-clothed-material-pants, and then the belt perhaps the cloth-rope that usually loops inside part of the waist (hope I explain this correctly, me no speak English as firsteu language yo), cuz usually ppl would just wear the pants without giving a shit about that cloth-rope but perhaps soo adjusts and ties it around his waist? Idk

but my point is, does that mean jongin often sees ksoo wears pants? They shared a bedroom tgther, so yeah it’s not that big deal, it’s common, but then doesn’t that mean jongin not only just sees but pays attention to soo when soo puts his attire – especially his pants – since jongin was able to burn soo’s little quirkiness inside his memory and then unconsciously blurted it out to yeol + camera. And on the 3rd gif soo immediately froze and stopped looking at camera (he looked at yeol instead) and on 4th gif jongin was eyeing ksoo then he laughed it off like ‘nvm dude’ when yeol asked him “what?”

Now lets move on how they comfort/take care of each other, it seems that ksoo showing his care more behind the closed door/inside the dorm… 

(for ex folding his shirt, cooking, remember when he mentioned jongin couldn’t cook, or in exo showtime jongin said I expected more than this when he ate that burnt meat that was cooked for soo (does that mean he often taste delicious foods made by soo then if he commented like that?) or when jongin praised soo’s cooking in EXO ASK BOX –

– ugh speaking of EXO ASK BOX i just rewatched it bc of writing this, and I just love it when yeol answered that D.O as the member that he likes to prank but always fail (bc ksoo ignores yeol’s pranks) and then jongin was like ‘bruh I got this’ and then explained everything about how and why (ksoo ignores yeol) and then when chanyeol got question about ‘which movie u would like play/star in?’ sehun answered “horror” and then baek made fun of ksoo saying “horror kyungsoo” and then ksoo was like “this isn’t about me! it’s about chanyeol!” and other members made fun of him and then ksoo went to torture baek (which he didn’t do bc he went back to his seat again) and baek was like “I thought this is about you” and then others laughed and jongin immediately cut in “it’s horror for chanyeol too” like whaaaaat?

Did he just defend his baby? Or this is me just seeing delulu shit, bc I interpret “it’s horror for chanyeol too” as a form of defending soo bc ‘soo in horror = joke’, so he put yeol in horror too to equalize the joke/mock, and after he cut in the joke faded away and yeol was like “yeah it’s horror for me”,

also jongin laughed when baek joked “I heard you took cooking class” to soo, suho snorted while yeol and sehun were smiling a little, he was the only one laughed ‘HAHAHA’, it was short but loud like other members didn’t find it that funny –

– back to cooking thingy, when baek said “d.o makes good spaghetti” then jongin quickly added “he makes great kimchi too” like he wants to show it’s not only baek who knows about soo’s best dishes but he knows that too (PROB JUST MEANT NOTHING THO… im just a trash anyway),

… while jongin often shows it on stage/public – not in fanservicely manner – like he would put his arm around soo when soo nervous

their heads touched

Or when he defended soo

all other members sans yixing and jongin wanted to hit soo, yixing had his reason, bc he was told to heal soo later with his “power”, what was jongin’s reason for not wanting to hit soo?

Or answered for soo

soo was like “um…”

then after jongin answered for him, soo nodded and was like “ah yes that’s my unique trait”

Or when soo got embarrassed he went to jongin even tho yixing was right between them

Or when jongin asked soo instead of yixing

Or dis

lol trolled by baek

Or when jongin encouraged soo to step forward or “promoting” soo

/hides behind jongin/

“no my love, dont hide, stand beside me”

Now lets move on to his stare, above, I have mentioned why I feel his stare for soo is different (full of adoration and all that fairy tale bullshit /im a bitter person/) from the way he stares other members, and how often he gets caught staring at soo FOR NO REASON (while w/ other members, he stares at them when they speak/perform/etc) but with soo, he just STARES even tho soo doesn’t do shit (like other members are talking/giving speech but jongin stares at soo instead).

tell me right in the eye he didnt just look at the mirror to see soo’s butt reflection (while sehun looked at soo bowing instead)

he looked at soo biting the sandwich (?) and then he blinked and flicked his eyes on the right (not on soo anymore), also look at his arm, very subtle there mr.kim

Again perhaps this is me being biased deranged trash but I see kim jongin stares at do kyungsoo’s lips like he wants to kiss the fuck out of that man’s heart shaped lips

[zoom this shit if u dont believe me] sure this gif is SLOWED, but it didnt hide the fact that jongin flicked his eyes to soo’s lips then. meaning he did look at soo’s lips, also if this once/twice happened and got caught on camera, what makes you think that he doesnt do this off camera? and has he ever done this before to someone?

Sometimes you look at someone’s lips when that someone talks to make it sound clearer (according to some science program on BBC idk I don’t remember whats that show’s name), your brain connects your hearing sense with seeing sense, thus the brain will be able to retrieve more information and digest it so the result will be much more defined / clear. (in simple explanation : people talk - -> you hear = good brain reception; people talk - -> you hear + you see them lips moving so fine = better brain reception)

Also it had been said that if you’re engaged in interesting conversation you would stare at that person’s face (not only their eyes, but their entire face). does that mean jongin and ksoo often engage in such interesting conversation (I often see how other members cant get inside their bubble)? also does that mean jongin really wants to hear ksoo’s words, like he doesn’t even want to miss a single word? 

or was it bc he is intrigued by soo’s lips and makes him to want to kiss dem plushy  (remember he was the one who answered “heart shaped lips” as soo’s unique feature, while in showtime baek chose “wide-white-part-of-the-eyes” as soo’s unique trait), and I’ve heard somewhere u would often stare at your crush’ lips (idk if this is true tho), not necessarily u want to kiss them, but bc someone’s mouth often moves a lot (wetting their lips, smiling, talking etc), so when u stare at ur crush face u often will focus ur stare on their lips (beside their eyes too)… but idk

I think that’s it, I cut it and made it shorter than before – some parts that were originally here aren’t here anymore – I would add them later in the next part.

Once again, sorry for the very late reply dear anon; reasons: motherfuckingassignment, inbox crashed in the middle of answering /le cry blood/, my kaisoo stash folder is really fucked up and un-organized its very hard for me to find the appropriate gifs/picts, my nooby skill is over 9999 and I managed to fuck up and deleted the already posted/answered ask—which is yours anon—/le cry blood 2x/ bc the picts+gifs wouldnt load after that so i thought it better to delete and re-post (SORRY DUDES and DUDETTES)

And for the anons that had asked me about jelly!kaisoo, ill merge them together with the next part of this post

[below this is purely my 2 cents, there is no “theory” anymore, skip it if you prefer it]

kaisoo have become SO obvious it hurts I think my “theories” aren’t needed anymore? (and somehow calling it theory makes it sound snobbish and scientific, that’s why I always put this [“”] sign between them, to make it not to be taken seriously, just take this as the usual stuffs you found on the internet, like that quote : everything’s on internet is true – Abraham Lincoln )

I feel I don’t have to explain shit anymore since it’s already there in front of our eyes, ksoo practically kissing jongin’s ear on stage, I cant believe if someone still doubting them? like “I think soo and kai have something going on… but but im not sure, they could be just friends… friends as in platonic, I’m not sure… I ship them though, romantically, but im not sure

do your friend eskimo kiss you? do your friend kiss your earlobe? do your friend caress ur throat/thigh/ear? do your friend occasionally touch your lips? do your friend stare the fuck out of you like they want to kiss you, fuck you, and coddle you? do your friend get jealous if you speaking/being close w/ someone else? if they do, then lets have a moment for out fallen brother/sister in the friend zone… I mean how could you still be in gray area? after all this time – all these recent moments? how? does ksoo need to stick his tongue inside jongin’s earhole to erase those clouds of doubts of yours? his lips on jongin’s ear is not enough for you?

oh btw soo’s lips on jongin’s ears is not the work of glory magical camera’s angle, okay? have you seen how many fans posted the picts from different angles?

from jongin’s back (why yeol judging them?)

here from different angle, sure soo’s lips didnt touch the ear cuz of timing but it doesnt hide the fact that his nose tip did touch jongin’s ear, It’s either soo’s lips or soo’s nose that touched nini’s ear, so what now? wheres your god camera’s angle now?

“yixing is busy talking, this is my chance!”  /goes to jongin to kiss whisper to him/

jongin was like “huh?”  bc in the first gif he was busy feeling soo’s lips/nose on his ear instead of listening soo’s whisper

and it’s not like jongin is any different, (this was when they were in japan, if im not wrong)

the work of perfect camera angle. sure.

sorry for my rudeness, but in case u don’t know this answer also being posted as a retaliation post, (I know some ppl who come to this tag to have fun but then when they see somebody talks shit and burst their bubble, it would leave a sour taste in their mouth man, not everyone have blessed life, perhaps they have shit going on in their life and escaping to this side of internet gives them giggles, so please stop giving us hate/self doubt),

me lurking kaisoo tag just to have some fun but then there will be a post saying shit about thing that I adore so badly (the post had mentioned about “its not just kaisoo shippers who are talented” too. wut? jelly much? our fandom has many good fanfics, I know.. i know..),

and often posts/messages like this would be added with “…don’t ship too seriously. you’ll get hurt later”, like do you think we don’t know that? do you think we don’t know it’s risky for betting our feels on the idea of two guys – that we don’t even know how their real personas/personalities are, who live far away from (some of) us, who see us as another number of views in YT or sales in music store – being together and in love for real? do you think we are that dumb? we know it but we still do it cuz it’s fun… cuz it gives us feels to spazz over, cant u just let us be crazy in our little world?

Idk where this hate comes from, bc I see kaisoo shippers all about kaisoo~kaisoo~kaisoo~, they rarely complain about other ships (they even rarely bat an eyelashes to other ship, sure other exo ship, but that’s it, “yay ot12!”, etc no hate whatsoever). Sure we can be loud and be like “OMGKAISOOSOREAL”, ‘#realestshipever’, “why u don’t ship kaisoo? What hurt u in the past?” or posting ‘this kind of post’ for exmpl (in my defense I have said the warnings about me being deluded trash etc), 

so yeah I understand that we can come out as annoying,  but these things only exist on this tag, of course there are will be people that cruise this ship or even helicarrier it, so why even bother? why don’t just avoid kaisoo tag or unfollow ppl that post/reblog kaisoo, for your convenient sake. So much simpler than writing a rant and then get many random anon messages or being attacked passive-aggressively by a trash blog, yeah?  

(uggggghhh im sorry im very rude but this thing just makes my fingers itchy to write a rant)

I have seen a lot about SM ships KaiSoo and there are some who aren’t really fond of this idea, bc then their “realness” will be gone. Tbh, SM has my blessing to ship kaisoo, sail it SM, fucking cruise it, makes it fly to the moon, why? then kaisoo don’t have to play cat and mouse anymore, they could practically making out on the stage and ppl would buy “oppar just do fanservice!!1!” this is better than “covering them”,

I mean with recent incidents, the company couldn’t afford anymore scandal (or could they? perhaps they could still give us “surprise motherfucker” moments). anyway, as vulgar as it will sound, this group is their main ‘money milking tool’ right now. so I guess them playing along with this ship is more beneficial, since 1. It’s a trending, it attracts ppl, there are ppl who ship them first then get dragged along and drowned in exo world, casual fans bcme hardcore  = actually spending money than spazzing over them on internet since they are now tied/attached emotionally, 2. also: less works, less shit to deal with, less money to be thrown. It’s simpler and easy, 3. Both parties are happy (fans = nonshipper – don’t have to get jelly cuz oppar still single, shipper – YEAH BISH OUR SHIP RULES, nongiveafucker = meh, they can date whomever they want as long no other member will be out anymore; while the company = yay money! yay getting support to fight another company! *coughYcoughGcoughcough* yay popularity – gets aided by big/major brand *coughSAMcoughSUNGcough*)  

it’s indeed such a low and shitty move (how dare them play w/ our maidens feels??), but if SM values kaisoo’s interaction and see it as money maker, at least the pair will be given support, right? (yay for a “shield-card”) even tho I think SM doesn’t have the balls to push kaisoo that far… but we shall see it later. We shall see.

it’s fun and game until you realize how easy they could lift and stomp your feeling like snapping fingers.

Again you may feel that I’m talking like kaisoo is real and in relationship already, bc that’s how I FEEL (IM FUCKING DELUDED TRASH WHAT DO YOU EXPECT) 

A.N: I want to take a moment to thank to whomever up there for blessing this year with many “intense” kaisoo moments; aggressive soo + gentle nini.

fucking bless.

AGAIN IM CRAZY DON’T LISTEN TO MY DERANGED NONSENSICAL BULLCRAP YO

As always, sorry for my rudeness and my mistakes (wrong grammar, mistyped words/names, profanities, delulu shit). Bye /get swallowed by earth/

bihexualwitch  asked:

Hey, I happened upon your blog and saw that you believe that Sherlock is trans. How come? This is the first head cannon I've heard of this and I'm truly curious about your answer. What's your thought process? Thanks!

WOW BOY okay this is my first time actually being asked this question so here we fucking go!?!??! (edit upon actually having typed this all out: HOLY FUCK; read more:)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Why is h//ang the foo/ l trash?

okay, so, i want to be clear here: im a fanfic writer myself. i havent posted much for this fandom, but i DO write, and i know how hard it can be. so take me seriously when i say that i really dont like shitting on other authors, but this mess really is inexcusable. im gonna explain, but THIS link right here will also help a lot for anyone reading this. if you want to start from the beginning you can add a /chrono to the end of the link. also this is going to be stupid long because ive held this in for awhile so. readmore.

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callout for bon enoshimo

@enoshimo

previously/also known as:

names:
pb
payton
isaiah
neo 

urls:
tinpet
anongore
bxp
bugmilks
bonbel
ireallylovemilk
sugarpea1
heterophobism
hochoemoji
bonnibel1
stringtheorys
ageist
probably some others i dont know

alright to start off- i know bon has stated not to publically call her out but all the issues i’m going to talk about have been brought to her attention and she refuses to even listen much less apologize for them (that ive seen, if she has in fact apologized for anything here let me know). 

shes even ignored anons (i know because i’ve sent some) about issues or answered in the format of a post without the ask (’@anon i really dont want to talk about that because of drama it will cause’ ((not a direct/actual quote, just an example)) ) which is often used by people as a way to avoid drama/being called out because no one will know what the ask said and therefore wont know about the persons shitty behavior. 

bon also usually deletes drama off her blog shortly after it happens, purposefully making it very hard to hold her accountable for things she says as theres no proof directly on her blog.

so i feel its important to let people know about stuff shes done thats not okay since she wont see that its wrong and wont apologize. she wont be civil about it and right her wrongs and people have a right to know. so here we go

also i’ve never written a formal callout before so if this sucks im sorry lol

getting onto the actual callout. its pretty long, so there is a tl;dr at the end. but please, if you can, read the whole thing. its important and provides a lot of evidence. also all the images are transcribed.  

topics/tws: racism, ableism, guilt tripping, manipulation

Keep reading

okay. im going to make an explanation post cause im tired of people lying about me and propagating things that arent true cuz it suits you.

first up, the goddamn “mikhail stole my so and lied to him to get us to break up”. this is about soma, for soma, and whoever else i dont really care about it but id rather have you people talk and ask me directly about these things more than anything else. im gonna use names cause shit will get confusing

you cannot steal a person. i was not trying to steal, or lie, or cheat my way into a relationship for the sake of a boyfriend. all of my relationship stuff with nate and alex happened after all three of us cut soma off because nobody liked the way nate was being treated by soma. hes 20 years old, nate is 17, and since this isn’t a damn callout im not going into details nor is it my business to but for the record nate has trauma pertaining to soma himself. nate almost relapsed and attempted during the breakup. after soma and nate broke up, a week later, he’s cut off because of the stress soma caused. nate confessed to us. i didnt have any feelings for nate or soma before they broke up, and the loveposts i was making were about alex/isiah. soma knows this cause i was gushing about him on call and alex and i had matching usernames (or tried to get them) and i thought it was cute, so the feelings stemmed from there. i told nate about alex, and he supported me in it and this part is kind of irrelevant but i wasnt trying to attain anybody else’s happiness, i genuinely wanted it to be the four of us going on double dates and shit. isiah was just a friendship crush in the end. i did not lie about who i had feelings for. i told nate about somas personal tweets about him the morning they cut each other off and i didnt take advantage of either of you, just nate had no reason to lie to me and the more he told me about you, soma, the more i realised you were the one lying to me. what you think i did is fucking nowhere near my character at all, and for the record from what ive been told it seems more like a you thing than anyone else.

 part two is the cam thing. i would never willingly date an abuser. i go online as a form of escapism from my irl abuse, and it makes no sense for me to continuously seek out people to harm me. cam put me under the impression that it had changed, and all of its shittiness had been dealt with and that it was a different person now, and had apologised for its actions. at the time, in february, i was having a really bad drawn out psychotic episode which made me susceptible to people telling me things cause i was already unstable enough as it was. cam told me we should be 100% honest with each other and i believed it, and because i had nobody else to believe but cam, i did not think of anything less than that, and didnt really bother to question it because i didnt have the energy to. i cut cam off.

part three is that i didnt “cheat” on mello. mello and i were fwbs, nothing more, nothing less, and you cannot cheat on a fwb. what ill admit to is that i also became friends with cam during this period, and was unaware it wasnt okay. i admit to the fact it was miscommunication on my part which i apologised for. mello forgave me. during the cam drama, when i was attempting to cut cam off, mello befriended cam and was going to help it, but i myself was not told the details. i did not ask mello to do this. mello came to me asking if it was okay to sext cam, i said yes, then changed my mind and told him i wanted to cut him off for this too. mello said that was fine. he then told me cam wanted to “revenge sext” with him, and apologised for not saying no to it. i said that was okay and we continued to be friends. i dont know how i fit into getting mello hurt by cam because i didnt ask anyone to help me. i was appreciative of the help, yes, but it was all of other people’s accord. don’t say you got yourself hurt for me when i told you not to martyr yourself.

and for the antiblackness, i was not aware of haru saying the n word. the posts about me joking about being antiblack were an in joke with me and an irl friend. i apologised to her for that, and she accepted my apology, which is why i didnt make any further posts joking about it. i am sorry for joking about that, and using AAVE. i didnt know, and have stopped that now.

if there’s anything else that needs to actually be addressed that isnt just chalked up to me being an asshole on the internet, remind me and ill either apologise for it or explain it as well as i can. for the record i was not run off tumblr, that was a joke ask my irl friend sent and there’s proof on my twitter. i deleted the app because i am studying for exams. thanks

so after the, Discourse, i figured i might as well make this post on how to write good autistic characters for voltron fans, or any other fans for that matter, should they want to include an autistic character within fics (which you totally should btw, youve got no idea how much positive representation can do)

before you read this, bare in mind that i am One (1) autistic person, i cant talk for every single autistic person’s experiences, but i have more authority on this than allistics. so im going to putting down the basics and then if any other autistic people want to add onto this please do!

so: the ground rules for writing an autistic character

1) do not use an autistic character for shock

this is probably one of the most annoying things. you do not write in an autistic character “””coming out””” about their autism at the dinner table and having everyone go silent in the shock of it. in reality you shouldnt have to point neon signs which say “AUTISTIC!!!! OH GOSH!!!!!!!” at a character. a super good example of not needing to do this is keith! its never been verbalised that hes autistic, he didnt sit everyone down and say “guys………. i cant neurotypical  up……………….. because im not neurotypical………………………………” 

but so many people hc him as autistic! this is because his character is clearly autistic without him needing to wear a name tag saying it, and your character shouldnt need a name tag either

2) dont make autism look like something weird

this ones super important dog. youve probably walked past thousands, THOUSANDS of autistic people in your life but i can promise that you didnt point and gawk at them: because autism isnt something weird that you can pick out in a crowd. if your entire character is “hey! this is grunglesnut! hes autistic because he loves trains so much that he paints murals of them and has slips of paper with thomas the tank engine on stapled to his wall!” thats not a good character. grundlesnut can love trains without you pointing and laughing at him for it and making it sound like some creepy obsession

3) dont make autism something to feel sorry for

we are not neurotypical pity porn. what do i mean? sit down and read what you just wrote where people find out that your character is autistic.

did you make autism sound bad? 

did you make your character telling another that they are autistic about understanding one another and working to make life a bit easier for the autistic person, or did you make it sound like it was a terrible affliction? did you make autism sound like part of the person, or did you make it sound like something which makes life for their family harder?

autism is not a bad thing, in fact even if it can make life harder i love my autism because its part of who i am. i dont want to read a story where a character is on the verge of tears because they just found out that their friend has autism and now life is going to be “harder” for both of them.

4) dont just shove an autistic character in for brownie points

listen to me carefully when i say this. you might think that by putting an autistic character into your story youre being great! super cool! youre being inclusive! but bare in mind that bad representation is just as bad as no representation, if anything its worse tbh

the main thing im talking about with this is people creating ocs which are autistic specifically for a fic. this is, yes, a bit of a mine field. but im gonna give you three useful pointers to get started:

a) first impressions are everything

b) it doesnt matter how much you go into the character in later chapters, first impressions are everything

c) im not fucking joking, dont even try to lie to me and say that you dont judge people based off first impressions, First Impressions Are Everything

i dont want to read a fic that has an original character as a family member with the third line that character saying being “im autistic”, because thats not what would happen with a majority of autistic people! yes there are autistic people who are a bit more comfortable with talking to new people, but dog im 17 yrs old and i still cant talk to a majority of my family at christmas reuinion dinners, let alone tell them i have autism

heres what you do: look at the characters youre writing about. for example klance: so, SO many people already see keith as autistic. there are posts about autistic keith which actually have thousands of notes. and those arent coming out of nowhere: how keith acts in canon is what makes so many people see him as autistic. why dont you write a fic with keith in it where keith is autistic! you dont have to change how he acts, you dont have to change what he does, because hes already autistic dude!!

5) listen to what autistic people have to say

look, i dont care how many autistic brothers you have, unless you have autism yourself you need to ask about it. dont just google symptoms and look at a list and pick out what you want to use: ask autistic people how they feel about a character.

“but that will take ages!” well then dont write the character in

“but i plan to go into more detail in later chapters!” dude i will tell u first impressions are everything until the day i die

“but if i educate myself wont that be ok?” you could argue this: if you want a mediocre fic. if you arent autistic, it does not matter how much you read up on it, you dont know the first thing about living with autism. because to understand living with autism you actually have to live with autism. listen to what people are telling you: and i would recommend talking to multiple people since autism isnt black and white. it changes for everyone dude.

but, as i said, i am just one autistic person. if any other autistic people want to add onto this then please do, but understand that if you are allistic this is your time to listen to what we;re saying. im not doing this to flash my nd card and make everyone think im cool, im doing this so that we can avoid more,,,,, “Drama” in the future. its not hard to write a good autistic character: its hard to choke down your pride and ask how

Kiss me cause you can

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Iwaoi

Summary: “What did you just say?,” Iwaizumi asked, his eyes widening as the fear grew and turned cold and heavy in his chest.

“I just dared you,” Yahaba said offhandedly, like he was commenting on the weather, “to kiss Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san.”

A/N: I was surprised by the number of people that wanted an iwaoi continuation of that one kyouhaba kissing booth fic so here it is! Iwaoi is a pairing I’m not too confident about, but I hope you enjoy! *nervous sweating*

EDIT: Part 3 (matsuhana)   

Keep reading

ok so by request heres some more mentally ill newsies fam headcanons (a bit of an extension on this post) and before we begin, since there was some confusion last time, im mentally ill and this isnt romanticization, it’s a coping mech. enjoy. tw dissociation, past child abuse, disordered eating, self destructive behavior, homophobia

  • speaking of coping mechs, betting is racetrack’s lmao it gives him a sense of control over his money and habits and stuff like that even tho realistically hes got less control over it than he used to back when his parents used to take nearly everything he made, before he ran away
  • if he doesnt get to go down to the races at least a couple times a week he starts getting real anxious and twitchy and snappy so even though sheepshead is technically brooklyn, both jack and spot let him sell over there
  • jack’s super tactile because it’s really grounding for him & makes him feel connected and present. like just laying a hand on davey’s shoulder or putting his legs in someone’s lap while theyre just chillin helps him remember that he’s u know..a real person. in a real place. and not just lost in his head or whatever
  • he hated the refuge for a lot of reasons but one of the biggest is that snyder used to isolate him and keep him away from the other kids bc he was such a troublemaker so he literally had no way of grounding himself and it was distressing and scary and bad and he dissociated a lot because of it
  • a lot of the guys have weird relationships with food bc they dont get a lot of it so sometimes they get to a point where theyre just..forgetting to buy food. it happens to the older ones a lot bc theyre, u kno, saving their money for an apartment in a couple years, or a new pair of shoes for the smallest newsie, or a jacket for winter. and food becomes sidelined
  • usually tho they all make a habit of checking in and being like, dude did you eat today?? well did you eat yesterday then?? no? ok we’re getting something now. theyre all a little fucked up but they care about each other so theyve all got someone watching their backs
  • davey kinda feels like he’s invading this family space at first and he tries not to be intrusive or assume anything and he doesnt realize how much everyone actually cares about him until he doesnt sell for two days bc hes sick and wakes up in the middle of the night the second day to like ten newsies on his fire escape trying to figure out if hes ok
  • comfort objects….most of them have one or two…jack’s got a book about santa fe that he knows by heart and also his sketchbook, spot’s got his cane, boots has his marbles (haha)
  • theres…a lot of self destructive behavior that goes on. like, nobodys gonna stop any newsie from really doing anything or going anywhere unless its a turf problem so theyre free to do really ill advised things that they know will make them feel shitty bc. they just want to
  • not everyone makes a habit of it obviously but like. yeah. jack hangs around near the refuge sometimes just to hate it more and sometimes spot sees his family on the street and follows them around for a bit because fuck them ok he’s the king of brooklyn and he can do what he wants. hes not the same 12 yr old they kicked out for liking boys. and who cares if just seeing their faces makes him want to throw up
  • they monitor the headlines for each other in an attempt at a trigger warning for the guys who might be set off by something in the paper. thats why jack and race and the older guys always get their papers first so they can scan it and like if some woman was found murdered in an alley and they know that the newest kids dad died in a similar way, they can warn them not to look at that article
  • sometimes theyre not fast enough to warn the person though or sometimes they accidentally get triggered themselves and those are really bad days bc you cant really sell while youre having a panic attack. and usually the person will have already bought their papes, too, so every divvys them up and sells em and gives the money to the guy at the end of the day bc it’s not his fault
  • after crutchie gets out of the refuge he and jack talk about it a lot in private and just like. get it all out. bc its a fresh trauma for crutchie and an old one for jack that hes never been able to properly talk about bc nobody gets it, but now crutchie does get it. and it really helps the two of them to heal and feel better about the whole thing
  • theyre all definitely a family with a really good support system and i know ive been focusing on the manhattan newsies with a couple references to spot but trust me its very similar in brooklyn and the other boroughs bc theyre all in kind of a sinking boat together you know
  • the separate boroughs start working together a lot close since the rally and the union got formed obviously and everyone kinda figures out theyve been doing the same sorts of coping mechs and behaviors and building the same kind of support systems entirely separate from each other
  • theyre all a union, the newsboys union, and theyve always been acting like one
warning for artists!

So, there are a few lil teeny boppers who are taking temper tantrums for being called out on reposting and being highly disrespectful to artists who have politely asked for them to remove their repost. There are multiple screenshots going around twitter right now as that is where it has been taking place. They also misuse triggers, try to make light of misogyny and anxiety and also extremely ableist by using autism and r*tard as insults. They have been ganging up on artists who have tried to stand up to them and actually search up tweets because they are really sad individuals. I suggest not responding to them as I have tried that in the most calm way I could but it did not seem to get through to their heads so I suggest for artists just to straight up block them, since they think if they can see art, they are entitled to repost, so blocking them means they cannot see it then. I have receipts but as I said, it isn’t worth screenshotting stuff as there are plenty going about from other artists who have been blatantly disrespected and harassed just for wanting to be respected for the stuff they create.  

The usernames are as follows: @ geekassnerd , @ MauriTheKiller, @ kittensock_,  @ TokyoSexPolice and @ DrWednesday

There are more so please do be careful of that social circle if you are an artist! They already tried to have a go at me so I am not too bothered about posting this as if they were respectful in the first place, it wouldn’t have happened and I wouldn’t need to make a post at all. They will probably vague you in their tweets and quote and rt just to make fun of what you are saying even though you are in the right so just block them!

Please tell any of your artist friends if they draw fanart, particularly if they draw mystic messenger stuff! 

note to the newbies

The other day i was talking to some of the older MAPs that have been in communities long before the time in which all of these new MAPs joined in. TBH I hardly know any of you guys, the new people that is. I was 14 when i started talking to members around the community and lurked until I welled up the courage (and suicidal impulses) and talked to Doro and some others. Back then it was a few people, it was hard to find us in a way. But the little cluster backed each other up in anything they could back then. The I started to see more people join us. However back then the hate was really bad too and I was sick and Id kinda given up on tumblr at one point so I left to meet even more MAPs and met many people and saw many things that I tbh hated XD. 

You’d think finding more people like you would be great until you realize you really are a person and with a different mind, not everyone will agree with you etc. Anyway leading to my main point, after coming back I see all of these new amateur antis (tbh y’all suck at hate but that’s good). But also..all of these new MAPs don’t know how to deal with hate yet, many get crushed at the stupid shit Skwhy or some other asshole says to them. Not because they are weak, but because this is just too much to deal with. We are Infantophiles, Nepiophiles, Pedophiles, Hebephiles, and some even Zoophiles too, heck we have some Necrophiles here too.

We are going to get hate, no matter what we may want instead of it. This is just how it works in a world full of a stigma that I do not blame it for having and that we are working hard to change for us, not for actual offenders. 

Simply if there are offenders, which is only the 5% of us vs. the other 95% that doesn’t offend people will see us as monsters and we believe it a lot, some go on living with this and in creepy ways but not exactly illegal one’s, some of us hate ourselves and take our lives, some of us try to live with the balance, and some of us are even married with kids and thriving. We are breathing. thinking, feeling people. 

And yes, you a 12 yo kid will get death threats, yes you the CSA survivor in his 20s will get death threats, yes you the trans girl who is 15 will get death threats and even you mothers will be told you are a monster and that you will hurt your children. 

All of you will get told you are monsters and should die whether you like it or not because sadly we have people like this everywhere. Its a matter of finding those that can get you through it which is my main point. 

All of you new MAPs need to learn how to take hate. Dig into your skull that is not important at all, learn to laugh at the threats, learn to block the scumbags, learn to try to be free. I see many people send out inspirational messages and more and more allies but the hate keeps piling up and tbh I dont see many of the newbies talking to the people who know how to laugh it off. Antis target those that care, and you shouldn’t give them that right. 

The don’t have the right to make you feel like shit. Don’t give it to them. 

That being said, you newbies need to start talking more to us, I probably sound rude as hell but bare with me on this. Many of the new people are struggling to get a hold of what to do besides reply posts or posting the good things but not having much of a pole to lean on. And then you get incidents like some asshole baiting a young MAP to suicide. 

Antis get your fucking shit together already, look at the bigger picture already. Stop telling kids to fucking die. Y’all walking Oxymorons. And to those antis that actually realize that some of us here aren’t fucked up monsters please tell your friends the same thing because if a kid dies because of any of y’all motherfuckers Im suing the fuck out of you. 

Now, if you’re a young MAP talk to me, Im here, Im on discord too if that’s more comfy for you. Or maybe not me but anyone else 

as promised: the fetishism callout post!

let me just begin by saying there's nothing wrong with finding any of the cast members attractive. this is an EXTREMELY attractive cast. everyone is so FINE I bet even the folks backstage who we don't see are gorgeous. Its okay to be sexually attracted to them too! We've all made posts professing our love to the cast, which is perfectly fine!! Right now you're looking at Leslie Odom Jr's fiancé! we good!!

but ya see there's a big difference between "anthony ramos is my sweet freckled child <333" and "I want anthony to shove his #thicc cock inside of me and ten other cast members at the same time but also freckles uwu"

You see the difference right?? Right??????

I don't have anything against writing smut about the characters (who, yes, are technically real people but they've been dead for literal centuries ok. Let it go) but it just gets weird REEAAAAL fast when u say the same thing about musical!John Laurens and the real live human being Anthony Ramos. It gets even weirder when u talk about the cast members in this way in relations to each other??? Shipping real people in a serious, unironic way is just a lil :/// to me (I say "serious, unironic way" bc I do write rpf with my friend but its a Huge Joke™ and nonsexual and come on I don't actually ship sandra bullock and steve harvey together ok). I mean Anthony is quite frankly dating Jasmine Cephas Jones.....it's a legitimate fact. There are pictures. It's on Wikipedia. They're in LOVE and its PRECIOUS and they're gonna get MARRIED eventually so why tf r yall writing about him bottoming for Lin????????

And Lin!!! He has a beautiful WIFE AND SON. You can speculate about his sexuality, NOT PUBLICLY BC HE SEES THINGS, but that's fine if u honestly must??? (although he tweeted that he was straight once during his "grease live" livetweeting so......like......). U can talk about how cute he and jonathan groff are! But y'all don't stop there do u? Bc one second ur talkin about them being cute and then a sentence later it's all "and then he SUCKED his BIG FAT DICK clean off!!!!!! He was dickless!!!! While wearing their costumes!!!!!!!!!! He choked on the full decapitated dick!!!!!"

That shit ain't cute.

So, now that u finally realize that (hopefully), we can get to the real nitty mcfreaking gritty. this part is primarily for white fans but it technically applies to anyone who is not specifically latinx and/or black jsyk:

So even before the whole "baby girl" thing started, I saw quite a few of y'all calling Anthony and Lin "papi" which like.....why should I even have to tell you why this is wrong. If you're not latinx, DON'T USE THE WORD "PAPI", especially since most of y'all are using it in a sexual context. You went ahead and took an innocent word, and turned it into a way to sexualize your faves who just so happen to be latinx. It just ain't right, and its also?? weird??? Let me put it this way, I'm black but not jewish so thatd be like me calling daveed "bubbe". Or something. Either way see how that'd be gross and offensive? You're taking a part of them, a huge part of them, their culture, and turning it into something exotic and sexual. That, my friends, is fetishism.

Another good example of this is the whole "baby girl/boy" n "papa" thing. Y'all rly went ahead and took an cute nickname and rolled RIGHT with it lmao. @alexandralexander explained it beautifully in this post, but basically "papa" (and "mama") is a cute lil way of older folks to regard ppl who are younger than them. It's a caribbean thing, aka something yall just won't get. Idk what the whiter equivalent would be, idk like ur grandad calling u "big guy" or something??? Who knows. Just kno that its NOT SEXUAL IN ANYWAY LIKE WTF WHY DID Y'ALL MAKE THAT A DADDY KINK THING. WHY CAN NOTHING BE SACRED WITH YOU GUYS. Best believe when my grandparents call my brother "papa" they mean it in an endearing way. And that's how Lin meant it? I don't see how it could have been construed any other way??

As for the baby girl/boy thing, in all the times I've been called/heard someone else call someone baby girl, it was NOT sexual. It can be used that way, but it was n o t in this context. Again, its a cultural thing i guess. And with "baby boy", yall do remember that anthony plays lin's son in this show right. okay, just checking.

But forreal. what is wrong wit u guys. I told myself I wasn't gonna kinkshame nobody but its Time, it rly and truly is Time.

One last point I want to make (as if this isn't long enough already) is the language with which u talk about the cast too. This was said rly well in several posts especially this one that uses that tags ppl tend to use, but i’m gonna elaborate on it a little. I just want to know right now why Anthony (or our lighter skinned and SURE AS HELL THE WHITE cast members) is "sweet precious sunflower child cinnamon biscuit roll wheatgrass turkish delight with sprinkles or some other corny shit <333" while daveed is AUTOMATICALLY "raw me zaddy" THE FUCK??? Why we gotta go STRAAIGGHTT to zaddy-basis with daveed??? Why do I see y'all talking about his dick size???? Y'all dont do that from the get-go for the lighter skinned members (which is sad bc daveed is already a certified Lightskint™ so that's rly saying something)?? Why can't black actors (and characters) ever be seen as "sweet turnip bumblebees (???)" instead of either being put on an inhuman pedestal where it's "STEP ON ME BAD BITCH QUEEN" or sexualized with some "CHOKE ME YOU COCKSLUT" ???? Ask yourselves why y'all do that. I'll wait. 
And y'all don't even TALK about oak (as a quick sidenote okieriete is not that hard of a name to pronounce y'all just don't care to try. It sounds exactly like its spelled) but tbh I don't rly want u to bc you'd just sexualize him as well. Plus that means more for me cause I'm engaged to him too :) remember to save the date!!
This was all over the place and idk if I even said what I was trying to say but whatever. I guess what I'm trying to say is (and this is to white fans) you're stanning a thing full of people of color. im assuming that this is probably the first thing that youve been rly into that has included exclusively people of color. Please just be mindful of the way you talk about them. There's a history of you exotifying and sexualizing poc to the point that historically, people have been killed for??? There's a history behind y'all calling latinx folks "papi" and automatically assuming black folks got a big dick ok lmao. At the end of the day, the way you talk about them shows that you don't rly respect them as much as you claim to do??? Idk I wish I had made notes about this bc it sounded waaaaaaayyy better in my head but! Whatever it's still lit. s/o to @aaronsburrr for assistance! 

anonymous asked:

you probably think you're sooo smart, but you're honestly so disgusting. johannah has just passed and you're making it about your love for hating on larries. i follow only larries and you know whats on my dash: support for the tomlinson/deakins and links and links to charities. take your vile posts (which get less than 100 notes) and your vile self elsewhere. now is most definitely not the time

No, I know. Many Larries are adamantly insisting that now is not the time to talk about Larry.

Where to start? Should I start with the fact that it’s a lie? Just a couple examples:

Or should we talk about the fact that of course Larries have to at least hold off from “debating” Larrie and discussing proof and making up new theories right now? They can’t even take 2 days without inserting their made up conspiracies into this time of grief, but yes - for the most part, they are holding back. You know why? Because they can’t talk about this stuff without being hugely disrespectful and invasive and inappropriate. Because if they did talk about it, they’d sound like this:

Not to mention the endless “this shows how much they can keep private” - as if we shouldn’t be thinking “this shows how little we can know about their personal lives and how inappropriate it is to insist we have secret knowledge and discuss, speculate, and analyze their actions.”

So you’ll excuse me for not being too impressed with the people who realize that they’ll only look bad if they engage with the anons wondering what it means that Freddie was mentioned in Jay’s obituary and included in the family photo released with this tragic announcement. I’m not impressed that they realized they have to wait until everyone’s forgotten how incredibly obvious it is right now that Freddie is Louis’s son, until the pain of how they mistreated this family has faded. If your explanation for your completely made up, unsupported version of events requires denying the contents of the obituary released by a woman’s own husband, and you realize that this is such a horrible thing to say that you can’t even talk about it while everyone is still grieving her, maybe it’s time to just walk away.

And now they once again get to pretend to be victims in this fandom. Because they refuse to accept any responsibility for all the harm they do. On the same fucking day that we found out about this heartbreaking loss, they were already excusing their callous approach to Louis’s private life. There has been no acknowledgement that the way they talk about Louis and his family, the way they investigate and pretend to know how he feels, no acknowledgement that this could be harmful and is wrong. Freddie flew out to see Jay one last time and there’s no acknowledgment that Larries and their nasty, dehumanizing abuse were the ones who bullied her into deleting him from her social media. Not even a recognition of the need to take a more respectful approach towards any information we get about Louis’s personal life.

I care about Larries right now, at this tragic and difficult time, because I care about Louis and his family. Not because I want to win some stupid fandom fight, certainly not to be fucking popular. Because I want Larries to stop hurting them. And Larries continue to refuse to accept even the slightest possibility that anything they’ve done could cause harm. They refuse to think about their actions. Their avoidance of in depth Larrie discussion right now is not a sign of respect for Jay. If they wanted to show respect for Jay, they would be apologizing for using her illness as “proof” that Louis doesn’t care about his son. No, their avoidance of this discussion is so they can let themselves and their followers forget how horrible they’ve been and how obvious it is that Freddie is Louis’s son.

recently ive been seeing a lot of posts about BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and some of these posts really worry me bc they can lead to self-diagnosing….as someone who was diagnosed with BPD i beg of you, please do not self-diagnose BPD. or any personality disorder for that matter. there are a lot of young people on this page, and reading a list of signs and symptoms like the ones for BPD can easily make you think ‘OH THIS APPLIES TO ME I HAVE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING I CAN RELATE TO’

im in no way saying that whatever it is youre going through and what youre feeling is invalid, but self-diagnosis is dangerous bc it makes an actual diagnosis more difficult. and for personality disorders like BPD it already is very difficult (mostly bc PDs overlap with other mental illnesses or each other) you see something on the internet and bc you feel like you have the need to have something to relate to, a name for the way you’re feeling, you latch on to it bc you can identify with it. and that can influence you when you eventually talk to a therapist or doctor and you can either unintentionally or intentionally lead them to that diagnosis. and getting a wrong diagnosis means you will get the wrong treatment, the wrong kind of therapy, possibly the wrong kind of medication.

i was misdiagnosed twice by some psychiatrists who didnt even know me, who thought standard testing (me ticking some boxes) would provide all the answers. they talked to my mom about it (even though thats completely not okay to do when diagnosing especially since i wasnt a minor at the time) and bc my mom (who is a social worker and knows about mental illness) didnt ‘like’ the possibility of me having a personality disorder, she mislead the psychiatrists with her portrayal of my behavior (which she couldnt even know since i didn’t live with her anymore and she only knew my behavior from my visits, where i would pretend everything was fine) as it turned out, they also misdiagnosed me based on misinformation they had about my past.

only after being in rehab for weeks, having several different kinds of therapies, and talking to the same therapists over weeks in different settings, them observing me in different situations, them basically being part of my daily life for 8 weeks, i was able to get a proper diagnosis

im not saying that every case of BPD is hard to diagnose or requires that type of observation, therapy, etc. to diagnose. sometimes its very obvious, and sometimes you just know. im also not saying that if you went through standard testing and were diagnosed with BPD that its a misdiagnosis. i just wanted to tell you that it is something that happens. and that it happened to me and thats why im making this post.

but please be careful with self-diagnosing and please, if you think you have BPD, or any other personality disorder/mental illness/issue, talk to someone about it. dont go hunting for tumblr posts about it. dont ask strangers on the internet ‘hey, this and that has been going on, do you think i have BPD/depression/anxiety/etc’ im not discrediting people with BPD on tumblr, people who decide to make posts about BPD (right now im one of them) all im saying is, be careful.

and please dont treat BPD as the ‘mental illness flavor of the month’. its not a trend. its not something you just throw out there like some ppl do with depression or anxiety. dont go around saying you have BPD or use the phrase ‘that is so BPD of me’ just bc a few symptoms fit. it is extremely upsetting to ppl who actually have it and it can be a trigger to them. i know how important it is to have a diagnosis, that it can help. therefore its so important that you have the right one. 

(note that i know this is not only relevant to BPD but any mental illness, or illness in general, and you should always be cautious of self-diagnosing. also pls note that even though i am diagnosed with it, im not an expert. i can only speak for myself and how i experience BPD and even that is difficult sometimes)

thanks for listening

*SAVE: UNDYNE

[ALPHYS] [PAPYRUS] [SANS] [TORIEL] [ASGORE] 

AKA: IN WHICH KATT THINKS TOO MUCH ABOUT UNDERTALE AND IS A HUGE NERD 

I’m gonna be looking at Undyne, Alphys, the Skelebros, Asgore, and Toriel for this, mainly because the post is inspired by the fact that I noticed something of a pattern in both their characterization and in the nature of the friendships forged with each. Major MAJOR spoiler warnings for pretty much the whole game probably, but ESPECIALLY for the true ending! 

But to start with, I want to suggest that we think of each of these characters as wearing a mask. How well fitted that mask is, and how aware the character themself is of its presence, varies from person to person, but they all have one. Figuratively speaking, of course. And as the story progresses, you slowly work towards helping each of these monsters deal with whatever’s underneath the mask, even if you don’t always outright unmask them. 

EDIT: This post was originally going to be all six, but I’m still doing Undyne and it’s already getting pretty long so I’m gonna. go ahead and backtrack and split things up….And maybe not do all six in one day, this one post is starting to give my poor laptop a fIT 

(ONE LAST TIME FOR THE ROAD: MAXIMUM SPOILER WARNING HERE IM SRS DONT CLICK IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE TRUE ENDING GET OUT NOW)

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