i don't want to insult anyone here

TALKING TO A CUSTOMER
  • HER: i wanted to get my first tattoo?
  • ME: sure, hun, what were you thinking of?
  • HER: well, i wanted an outline of a spray paint can on the pad of my finger
  • ME: ...
  • ME: okay, i'm gonna tell you right now that that's a terrible idea and no reputable artist will do that.
  • HER: WHY NOT! i really want it!
  • ME: that's nice, our shop policy is that we don't do hands, forearms, neck, or faces on people for their first tattoo. it's because we're looking out for you, and the sad truth is that people will judge you, deny you jobs, not rent to you, all because of these tattoos.
  • HER: yeah, i don't care about that.
  • ME: [thinking "obviously, because you're a CHILD"] but it's going to fade out unevenly and look like a blurred mess. none of our artists want to attach their name to something that will look like shit.
  • HER: but i promise i won't tell anyone who did it. [she legitimately pouts here]
  • ME: ...
  • ME: YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE, INSULT MY ART!
  • [okay, i actually said "you do know tattoos are an art right? well, our artists have integrity that they're not going to just toss away." after which she said "really?" and then left, saddened.]
  • FUCK YOUR TINY TRENDY TATTOOS, THINGS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT.
Joel (Vinesauce) Sentence Meme
  • : --|) Send one and see how my muse reacts!
  • --> [ WINDOWS XP DESTRUCTION ] <--
  • "It's a little old, ____."
  • "He has like, spikes too, right?"
  • "God, I can't stand it, even ironically."
  • "The trick is to just spam it."
  • "IT'S LOOKING GOOD."
  • "NAKED LADIES?! WHAT?!"
  • "Oh god, my poor computer..."
  • "How about... Expand Dong?"
  • "I'll show you all the bestality porn to corrupt you."
  • "This is like the olden days of ____, where you just _____."
  • "Now we got that we gotta add some WACKY EFFECTS."
  • "Safe installer? Probably the safest installer in the world."
  • "Still up after all these years, what the hell..."
  • "THE JAMMINEST."
  • "And my friend with no talent, he would always ____."
  • "WHOSE BEEN DRAWING DICKS?"
  • "Kup teraz!"
  • "More like my credit card information."
  • "Love the sound of that."
  • "It's like it's a nuke about to blow off and we're sitting here at the safe distance."
  • --> [ CORPSE IN THE FRIDGE ] <--
  • "BRONY JOKE."
  • "With my wah."
  • "I don't care what anyone else thinks, I think you're hot."
  • "MOCK APPEARANCE?"
  • "Oh goddamn, you're ugly."
  • "You've got some issues, and I'm not sticking around to deal with them."
  • "Don't insult him, he's a god of shapeshifting."
  • "No, not in the toilet."
  • "HELP."
  • "Sick moves."
  • "Aw, what the hell...."
  • "Morning ritual - take a shit in the bush."
  • "I made him into a vegetable, man!"
  • "I JUST WANT SOME FUCKIN' JUICE."
  • "Goddamnit, ____, not again! You smug piece of poop."
  • "I am crying so bad."
  • "A moment like this needs music like this."
  • --> [ POKEDRAW ] <--
  • "Alright. I know the ____ really good."
  • "You know this is gonna be a fuckin' disaster."
  • "Lil' wink."
  • "How do I make him blue fast?!"
  • "Swiggity swooty, I am comin' for the booty."
  • "They are born with pants. These pants are flesh."
  • "BOO. BOOOO. SPOOKY HOUSE MOTHERFUCKER."
  • "Fucking great. Fuckin' ace."
  • "Lookit him. Give him some rose tinted fifties cheeks."
  • "Oh great. More horses."
  • "BEES. ....I hate bees."
  • "Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog?"
  • "This got grim so quick."
  • "How's he sitting?"
  • "Juicy."
  • "He looks like Dracula now."
  • "I'm gonna blow your mind."
  • "Somebody glued a Wheetabix to the cat."
  • "He looks like a cinnamon bun!!"
  • "This guy's goin' to work!"
  • "I can do this!"
  • "I tried. That's a bootleg ____ if I ever saw one."
  • "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."
  • "He's got MIND BULLETS."
  • "This is not Zubat. It's AAAAAAAAGAAGHAGGHAHGA."
  • "This is totally the worst ever."
  • "Now we're stuck with... THIS!"
  • "Why did I put a dead skeleton on my face?!"
  • "Ugh, more birds."
  • "Everytime you hug them, it's a face full of spikes. Edgelord."
  • --> [ WINDOWS 7 DESTRUCTION ] <--
  • "What is technology?!"
  • "It's magic, ___, it's magic."
  • "It looks like a plate of oatmeal."
  • "This child has no idea what she's doing."
  • "I will change this for the better!"
  • "This doesn't look fishy at all."
  • "Oh my god guys. This comment section is from fake people."
  • "To make idiots think it's safe!"
  • "I DIDN'T DO THAT!!!"
  • "That's the most honest name for something. ____ Blaster. You will have nothing left."
  • "When I was 11 years old, I had a desktop stripper."
  • "The worst part, I couldn't get it off my ____, so I had to ask my dad to help me."
  • "Yes, I WANT THE GUN. GIMME THE GUN."
  • "Please, give me Jesus!"
  • "THE POPE! THE POPE!"
  • "IT EVEN SCROLLS!!"
  • "Oh, my sweet Jesus... There's Jesus."
  • "OH, THERE'S A BURNING SUPERDEATH SWORD!!!"
  • "Nothing says this's more welcome than a creepy smiley repeatedly jamming a welcome sign into his crotch."
  • "Don't stop, keep injecting me those smilies."
  • "I dunno what he's doing, but that cannot be a good way to live your life."
  • "It pains me to do this, and it will be the only one ever."
  • "This is a worse idea than the time I drank a martini with my eye, I legit did that once."
  • "I thought that everything was fine. But no. No no no no no."
  • "Animated Christmas Tree For Desktop?! Yes!"
  • "Look at it! It's the worst thing ever!"
  • "THERE'S SO MUCH SHIT ON THE SCREEN I CAN'T EVEN SEE."
  • "I blame you! You did this, you did this!"
  • "THIRTY?! ONE IS NOT ENOUGH!?!"
  • "Two hundred dollars?! For a MIDI?!"
  • "It sounds like farting in a bathtub. BLEUB."
  • "This is the worst image."
  • --> [ BREAKING ALIEN ISOLATION ] <--
  • "Pretty leggums."
  • "What if you have a bad dream in hypersleep and you can't wake up?"
  • "What is that?! That's the face of a strangle murderer!"
  • "Hey, we can do this. Hey, we can do this."
  • "GO FOR THE GOLD! .....FUCK."
  • "Guys, it's a spooky ghost in the vents! Go away!"
  • "Save me, Pochahontas! Save me!"
  • "Alien, please pry me off this thing."
  • "What're you waiting for! DO IT NOW!"
  • "Come on, I dare you!"
  • "'Advanced AI is unparalleled', my ass."
  • "Space poosy."
  • "He chucked a fuckin' traffic cone at me!"
  • "I see London, I see France, I see a dumbshit alienpants."
  • "Ok, drink up."
  • "Fuck you, karma."
  • "This guy's badly programmed. Like a bootleg OS."
  • "It's jazz, but in space!"
  • --> [ INSANE MARIO BOOTLEGS ] <--
  • "So uh, what exactly is this?"
  • "I'm afraid there's gonna be boobs."
  • "IS THAT JARJAR BINKS?!"
  • "What the shit is this!?!"
  • "Why is one of those Russian castles being pulled apart; what the fuck?"
  • "Hide in shame."
  • "GRAND DAD. FLINTSTONES?!"
  • "Oh, dios mio."
  • "Nah, screw it."
  • "What in mother Mary's name is this?"
  • "Why am I doing like this twerk-a-thon?"
  • "Am I a furry?"
  • "Shameful. Shame on you."
  • "Pronounce this."
  • "You know what seals the deal for me? When shit's got that rainbow tint to it..."
  • "Ohhhh... That's SONIC."
  • "Wait a minute, that music...."
  • "Woooooow."
  • "Let's see how they did this."
  • "That's just being so illiterate it's beyond anything else."
  • "Good face there, _____."
  • "It's Windows 2000...."
  • "What we have here is an enigma."
  • "Play it, maestro."
  • --> [ LINK THE MURDERER ] <--
  • "Is that a tinted mustache?!"
  • "What are you fuckin' wearing?"
  • "Yeah. Yeah! Yeah!!"
  • "This music is not helping at all."
  • "Let's see how big you can go."
  • "You know those advertisements on the internet that're like, 'try this new cure; I did and I got RIIIIIIIIIPPED'."
  • "PLEASE NEVER TALK AGAIN."
  • "Chest break?! Crack neck? Holy shit."
  • "Knock him out with a punch."
  • "Why are you having a conversation? He just went down cold."
  • "OH SHIT, 'E DIED."
  • "Go home. GO HOME."
  • "That's all I need, baby."
  • "Replace your sadness with piss."
  • "Can I body slam a BABY?!"
  • "Let's order a pizza."
  • "Nothing tastes as good as... Toilet joint pizza ghost party."
  • "Ghost... You want some pizza?"
  • "Oh no, what exactly is this?"
  • "I killed death. I killed a concept."
  • "Great. I've killed so many people that they blend into society now."
  • "That's just the weak leaving your body."
  • "I'm too busy to care. Fire? Whatever."
  • "The brain, brain, brain, brain, bRAIN."
  • "I'll be having children's tears on the rocks."
  • --> [ BEST OF DOS ] <--
  • "NAILED IT!"
  • "What's the worst that could happen?"
  • "I believe my patient is balls high."
  • "It's not brain surgery, but it is surgery."
  • "Strange, I've never seen a doctor operate with his bare hands before."
  • "How fucking dare you, alright?"
  • "I am back... for MORE."
  • "To understand surgery, you must also understand flesh."
  • "SATAAAAN. YAAAS. YAAAAAS. YAAAAAAAAAS."
  • "It's like crayons, but with more gore."
  • "I was a surgeon, but now I CAN FLY."
  • "HIGHWAAAY TO THE DANGER ZOOONE."
  • "The MIDI zone."
  • "Light the pipeweed."
  • "Put pipeweed in Frodo."
  • "YeeeAAAAH. YEAH. YEAH."
  • "I killed him 'cause he was hogging the bong!"

the amount of people i had to block bc of hate in ship tags is ridiculous

in all seriousness, tell me

  • why do people feel the need to tell me what i shouldn’t ship because they don’t
  • why do people feel the need to try making me feel bad about something i like and they don’t
  • why do people feel the need to doubt my mental health because of a ship they don’t ship
  • why do people feel the need to post ‘i rly hate this ship it sucks lol ur all sick’ in the tag that only people who love this ship are tracking
  • why do people feel the need to post hate at all

i’m not sick or mentally disturbed for liking a ship that doesn’t fit your perception of an 'appropriate’ ship thank you. actually, insulting and talking shit about people’s mental health because of something that they enjoy and doesn’t harm anyone and only exists in a fandom fantasy you don’t agree with is gross as fuck, stop it

dustthegreninja  asked:

I feel oddly depressed and happy at the same time. Because I feel happy that here, Autism can't be used as an insult, but as a "morale booster?" I don't know. But I feel bad that I can't experience it, and know what it's like. Not like "I WANT AUTISM! GIMME!" Just that I wouldn't know how someone feels when they have it >_<

Well, look at it this way. I don’t know what a black person feels like when they’re told that black is beautiful. But that’s okay. The reason anyone says that in the first place is that there’s all these beauty standards that exclude black people and they’re fighting against it. The same is true for autistic people. Everyone is special and beautiful and smart in different ways, but some of us need to remind ourselves of it more because society sucks.

So be happy being you. And be kind to people who are different from you. That’s the best you can strive for.

santagamora replied to your post: “enough with all the hate do your research. dr strange is a white…”:

tbh well said

yes thank you ily everyone hates and i sit here ????? 

i can’t believe the people supporting feminism and equal rights between people of different race, religion, sexuality and sex are the same people that mock a person for his name and because he’s not society’s “classic idea of beautiful”

i mean wow