disclaimer: i do not own supernatural or any of its characters, only the plot in which i write in.
Dean walked into the room, shrugging off a layer of many from his attire and throwing it aside onto the bed next him.
He stopped when he saw none other than Castiel sitting on the edge of said bed, head buried into his hands. He could barely make it out, but the Winchester swore he could hear shuddering breaths coming from the ex-angel, and it only confirmed his suspicions more when he saw the light trembling of shoulders with each and every stuttered breath.
Dean couldn’t help but to let his ever permanent frown deepen at that. Cas didn’t cry. Never in his entire time of knowing the man did he ever shed a damn tear or let on that he wanted to.
Although, he was human now, so it was probably opening up a lot of flood gates for him what with being able to feel the immense emotions wash over him completely. Being an angel had its perks he supposed, he’d give anything to be able to shove his emotions back down inside of him unless he wanted to feel them. Castiel couldn’t do that now, however, and Dean could only imagine what the hell Cas could be feeling right now.
In all of his millenia of existence, he’d probably gone through way more than what he’d merely gone through with the Winchester’s, but it was still a lot to take in, and this life probably only made it worse. Dean knew that of course. The hunters life sucked, any hunter could tell you that from the get go.
Yet, he couldn’t think of how in the actual hell he was supposed to comfort somebody without making it worse. Let alone a damn person that used to be an angel. That’s all Dean was usually good for when it came to support and advice. He’d fuck it up somehow, he knew.
Ah, fuck it. Better something than nothing at all, right?
Hesitantly, Dean took a few short strides across the room to where Castiel sat, taking a seat next to him and leaning his elbows on his knees to keep himself propped up as he kept on praying Cas didn’t move his hands away from his face; not wantng to see the distraught expression that he might find on his boyfriend’s face. He didn’t know if he would be able to handle that much.
“You alright, Cas?”
He got nothing in response but a frantic head shake, indicating that, no, he was most definitely not fine, but still refusing to tear his hands away from his face. Dean felt selfish for being grateful about that.
“Wanna talk about it?”
Okay, damn, what else was he supposed to do then?
“…Can I hug you?”
Dean Winchester didn’t do chick flick moments, that was very well known, but hugging didn’t count. Absolutely not.
There was a few seconds of silence before Cas shook his head ‘yes’, both of them moving at that to go in for a hug.
For a moment, Dean saw Cas’ face, where he had removed his hands, which was adorned with tears. His eyes looked to be bloodshot and swollen from crying, some parts of his face both pale and patched red.
Sighing, Dean scooted back farther onto the bed and motioned for Cas to come closer to him, manuvering them both until the ex-angel was sat beside him, legs draped across Dean’s before he nestled his face into the crook of the human’s neck. His arms wrapped around Dean unsurely, but was quickly reassured when Dean tugged him closer into his side and put his own arms around Cas.
Neither of the two men said a word after that, settling for the silence that blanketed the both of them in the room, aside from the occasional sniffle or shaky breathing coming from Cas.
Eventually, though, Dean found the silence nearly unbearable, and pressed a kiss to the crown of Castiel’s head before making Cas get up off of him so he could stand and make a beeline to his phone.
For once, he was glad that Sam had given him a speaker to plug his phone into, it made it a lot easier to do things like this.
Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he went straight to his music app and scrolled through the several songs he’d downloaded until he finally settled on one, hooking it up to the speaker that rested on his nightand beside the bed.
Cas didn’t look up until he heard the beginning of the song started playing through the speakers.
Dean walked back over to his boyfriend– if he could even call him that? he didn’t know what else to call it– and reached a hand out once he stopped in front of him, offering it to Cas. Fuck his “no chick flick moments” rule for now. Neither of them would mention this to another damn soul, probably not even each other, so what did it really matter, especially if this helped?
When the other didn’t catch on to what Dean was asking, looking up from the outstretched hand to green eyes that practically glowed in the dimly lit room, Dean spoke up once more.
“I, uh… Dance with me?” He asked tenatively, afraid that this was the wrong time for this and Cas would turn down his only means of how to comfort the ones he cared about.
This was the most calming thing he could think of (aside from quietoy singing), so, why not try it with one of the people he cared about most?
Cas looked a bit upset at that. Shit, maybe this wasn’t the right time after all. Maybe he had definitely messed it all up now and—
“I’m not sure how I should go about dancing. I’ve never really danced before, Dean.”
Internally sighing in relief, Dean let a small smile tug up at his lips, a look of understanding coming over his face.
“That’s alright, man, we won’t do anything too hard. Just do what I do. ’S that easy to catch onto, trust me.”
Castiel slowly reached out to take Dean’s hand in his own, rising to his feet when he felt Dean pull at his hands a bit. He followed after Dean as the man took a few steps back, placing the both of them a good distance from everything around them except each other.
As the first words began to be said throughout the speaker, Dean started to gently guide Cas’ hands up around him to where his elbows rested easily on his shoulders and so his hands could lock behind his neck before placing his own hands on Cas’ hips. He merely started swaying them back and forth after he’d gotten them both adjusted comfortably in their position.
“So close no matter how far Couldn’t be much more from the heart Forever trusting who we are And nothing else matters.”
Dean mouthed silently to the words as the two men continued to gently sway side and side together, the tenseness started to ease out of the both of of their bodies as the song carried on.
“Never opened myself this way Life is ours, we live it our way All these words I don’t just say And nothing else matters.”
Slowly, but surely, Cas eventually ended up closer to Dean after the song was half way through, their bodies pressed against one another as they kept swaying to the song.
Their surroundings disappeared in this moment where it was only about them. The only thing that existed to them in that moment was the soft background and lyrics of the music wafting over them as they danced.
Castiel didn’t hide his face this time. He found it much more appealing to look up into the bright, candy-green eyes that were gazing into his own blue ones.
“So close no matter how far It couldn’t be much more from the heart Forever trusting who we are And nothing else matters.”
Neither of them quit their swaying by the time the music had ended. They still clung to each other, afraid to let go. This was a time that was the most peaceful, to them, the most they had ever had, a time they didn’t have to worry about anything but each other.
But, like all good things, it, of course, had to end. Still, neither broke apart, keeping joined at the hands, nearly clinging, as Dean turned his phone off and guided them back to the bed to lay down. As they lay down, they stayed as close to each other as physically possible, not wanting to ruin the calm serinity that surrounded them.
As they layed down, one of Dean’s arms went under the pillow they shared, his hand on his gun like always. He’d kill anything that thought it was going to bring harm to either of them while they were at such a calm like this. His other arm was around Cas, hand resting at the small of his back.
They fell asleep in each others’ arms like that, separately broken in their own ways, but together.