i don't want them to forget

  • me: *casually mentions trauma with no emotion at all because i've distanced myself somehow*
  • neurotypical friend/family: *big wide eyes full of concern*
  • me: ANYWAYS you hungry?
  • me on the inside: ShUT UP STOP oversharing

Being autistic isn’t always ‘cute, quirky things’, like knowing a hundred random facts about forensic pathology because it was my special interest in the sixth grade; or not knowing pop culture references because I didn’t watch that tv show, I was too busy reading books on forensic pathology.

But it’s always, constantly, that near panic fear of -

Oh no, they’re looking at me, why are they looking at me?

It’s my turn to talk!

What do I say?

Is this the right speaking volume?

Am I talking too fast?

Are these the right words?

Do I sound intelligent enough for the people I’m talking to?

Am I using too many big words?

Am I over explaining?

Wait, how’s my volume?

Oh shoot, I was distracted by my volume and I used a big word and now everyone’s laughing at me.

Why is their forehead creased? Are they mad? Is that a happy crease?

Why am I waving my hands so much?

I need to stop waving my hands.

Great, now everyone is staring at my hands.

Okay, great, I think this conversation is over!

Oh, no, wait, they’re talking again.

Look them in the eye.

No, wait, that’s too much eye contact.

Uhhhhh …

We’re done?

We’re done, whew. Another social interaction over.

4

A couple of people have been asking how I do my lineart and if I could share any tips, soo after months of careful procrastination I finally did it :’D I hope this is actually helpful to some of you, and please let me know if anything is unclear or you have any questions!

4

cute bare faced jiyongie all bundled up (๑>◡<๑)

There are a lot of shitty things this world has to offer, but the worst two ones? One’s being the heartbreaker and one’s being the heartbroken.

And I know it hurts on your end. I see it in your eyes. I see it when you cry, when you wake up at night and scream my name in the darkness, when you whisper to your friends about all of the things I can’t change, but I wish you could see how this is tearing me to shreds too. How I stay up wondering why I’ll never be good enough for the only person who made me feel something. Why I messed up too badly for this to ever work again. This side hurts too, I promise. It’s sitting up subtracting your future from mine and coming up with a number so negative, my bones shake.

Because you’ll love again. I have no doubt about that. You will love again and it will be more beautiful than anything you’ve ever experienced, because one day you will find someone with the capability to love you back. And they will be lucky. They will be so goddamn lucky because when you love, you love hard, and you will love them. You will love them so much, you won’t be able to breathe, but they will finally resuscitate you when you are feeling these things instead of plunging you under water, and it will be so beautiful and so worth this heartbreak, my heart won’t be able to take it.

Because I’ll never be able to love like you do. Because someday you’ll move on and I’ll always have to live with this. And if it makes you less sad, I’ll say I’m sorry, because I am. But the saddest thing about this is that you’ll be okay in the end.

—  A letter from the heartbreaker to the heartbroken
I don’t miss you,
but I miss your hand in mine.

I don’t miss you,
but I miss laughing so hard that our stomachs cramped.

I don’t miss you,
But I miss your warm embrace,
the one that could fix me in an instant.

I don’t miss you,
But I miss the way you looked at me,
like I was the only girl in the world.

I don’t miss you,
But I miss cuddling up to you and falling asleep with my head on your chest.

I don’t miss you,
But I miss your beautiful eyes,
and your genuine smile.

I don’t miss you,
but I miss your tender kisses on my forehead.

I don’t miss you,
but I miss the way you held me.

I don’t miss you,
but I miss the feeling of loving someone,
and the feeling of being loved.

I don’t miss you,
but I miss being the couple that everyone asked,
“Dang, you two are still together”

I don’t miss you,
because you changed.

I don’t miss you,
but I miss the times we had.
I can’t miss you,
because you’re not the same person anymore.
And I’m worth much more
than the person you’ve become.

anonymous asked:

Jw why do you hc lance as dyslexic? I don't want to seem rude and I'm not dissing your hc, I just wanted to know why (I'm really hope this doesn't come off offensive, I'm just genuinely curious)

not offensive at all! i’m happy to explain why i headcanon him as dyslexic :D

for one thing, i myself am dyslexic so i can spot the traits in Lance that give off a dyslexia vibe

exibit A) flying a spaceship simulator is hell because there are buttons all over the place and it’s easy to forget what each one does/easy to misread the labels and mix them up, no wonder Lance always crashes it

(one can argue it’s because Lance gets easily distracted, i think it’s a mix of both)

exibit B) math is confusing af and its really easy to get numbers that look/sound the same mixed up. it’s also easy to get your basic addition, subtraction, multiplication shit mixed up too

lmao shut up keith he knows that, he just gets it mixed up

exibit C) weird af motor skills when there’s a lot goin’ on at once

exhibit D) celebrates the tiny wins bc he doesn’t win a lot

exhibit E) disliked school enough as a child to pretend he was sick to get out of having to go, and if you’re a dyslexic who hasn’t been diagnosed and put in a special learning class to aid your learning disability yet, you are going to hate school with a burning passion and will try to avoid going in any way you can

exhibit F) clever come backs on the spot????? who???? bitch i need time to think of a clever response you don’t just come up with something witty to say right off the bat

exhibit G) insecure af??? he thinks he’s pathetic??? feels like a 7th wheel??? doesn’t think he has a “thing”????? doubts his capabilities?????? has a shit self esteem???????? all these are common things to feel for people with dyslexia because they struggle so much

literally fuck you Iverson. how dare you attack his self worth like that

also, i want to refer back to a quote i once read from an official website on the learning disorder, which is “the most consistent thing about dyslexics is their inconsistency”, and i think that ties in really well with Lance representing water, which is also inconsistent af. i think that’s one of the key roots to Lance’s “i feel like i don’t have a thing” insecurity. 

so yeah, this is why i headcanon Lance as dyslexic. as someone who has dyslexia myself, i see a lot of myself in Lance’s behavior, and can relate to a lot of the things he does/says/feels. 

thank you for asking! 

when you find some mutual weirdos pt. beagle line at its finest

"Asexuals don't face discrimination"

While I’ve had to hear in my life :

“One day you’ll want sex”
“I could never love you”
“I can’t ever be with someone who wouldn’t want sex”
“I need someone who can reciprocate properly”
“I want children, this won’t work”
“It’s unreal to not have sexual feelings”
“Sex is a natural part of a relationship”

And let’s not forget those pictures that are constantly reminding you that if you’re not having sex with your partner you: don’t love them, cheat on them, don’t deserve them, are a liar, aren’t worthy of a relationship.

anonymous asked:

Oh come on. If this was any other show we'd be calling them out for 1) censoring the only gay kiss 2) making them completely chaste, or void of intimacy, in comparison to the het couples. The fact is they want queer rep, but don't wanna show it (not to offend the audience? is it gross? Did the actors demand it?) It's a well documented double standard, and TGD has it unfortunately.

… . void of intimacy? 

“Have you ever been i love? Once. How’d it end? It hasn’t.”

“I’ll keep you safe.” 

…  in comparison to the het couples? Where 1. The main couple is obviously going to have more screen time like this is Zeke’s story and y’all keep forgetting that. 2. Ra Ra and Tanya are shown sharing a peck and it’s solely their cartoon versions. 3. Character’s don’t have to be physically intimate to be good rep.

Like y’all will stay stanning show’s like Teen wolf or more recently Riverdale which deliberately queer baited but “oh the actresses says that they know the characters have so much chemistry, so it’s possible” and has one gay man who from the looks of it literally serves to be the token gay.

And yet somehow the Get Down isn’t good enough LGBTQ rep. Like there’s a way to phrase what you want to see from the characters and the show without saying that you wouldn’t recommend the show based on LGBTQ rep or that it doesn’t have good rep.

Because Idk whats not good rep about a charismatic, artistic, intelligent, young black man. Who loves the people around him dearly, whose sensitive and strong willed. Whose passionate about finding and owning his freedom. Who has always felt like an alien in the world he inhabits for his philosophical thoughts and his dreams. 

an incomplete list of rare pair tags on ao3

feel free to reblog & add your own! i’ll try to update when I find new ones. (sorry they’re not….organized…)

Bitty/Holster
Jack/Ransom
Bitty/Ransom
Nursey/Ransom
Bitty/Shitty
Lardo/Camilla
Bitty/Chowder
Ransom/Tater
Chowder/Nursey
Bitty/Parse
Bitty/Tater
Jack/Holster
Jack/Shitty
Parswoops
Jack/Tater
Chowder/Dex
Ford/Farmer
Ford/Lardo
Lardo/Parse
Shitty/Parse
Tater/Nursey/Ransom
Bitty/Nursey
Prof. Atley/George
Jenny/Mandy
Chowder/Lardo
April/Lardo
Camilla/Jack
Camilla/George
Holster/Dex
Lardo/Nursey
Lardo/Dex
Parse/Dex
March/April
Bitty/Johnson
Jack/Johnson
Tater/Snowy
Suzanne/George
Suzanne/Alicia
Shitty/Dex
Lardo/George
Johnson/Snowy
Snowy/Parse
Bitty/Poots
Ransom/Dex
Shitty/Nursey
Ransom/Chowder

Poly Ships

Bitty/Shitty/Jack
Ransom/Holster/Tater
Bitty/Jack/Tater
PolyFrogs
Bitty/Nursey/Dex
Chowder/Farmer/Nursey
Lardo/Shitty/Parse
Bitty/Johnson/Jack
Polyfarms
Holster/Ransom/Jack/Bitty
Bitty/Shitty/Jack/Lardo
Ransom/Bitty/Holster
Jack/Tater/Bitty/Parse
Ransom/Tater/Nursey
Holster/Bitty/Ransom/Parse

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.
  • Dahyun: [Running into the practice room and slamming the door shut behind her]
  • Dahyun: Guys, it's Chae's birthday tomorrow and we need to plan her an epic birthday party. I'm talking a full scale ice sculpture and a five tier cake
  • Jeongyeon: Dahyun, her birthday is tomorrow. Where are you gonna get an ice sculpture on 18 hours notice?
  • Nayeon: Easy, we thaw the ice from Tzuyu's cold dead heart
  • Sana: Ah but Nayeon-unnie, you're forgetting that whenever Tzuyu is around Chaeyoung, her heart melts.
  • Tzuyu: Do you want to die
  • Dahyun: Guys focus
  • Momo: I don't know about a five tier cake, but we can get five different cakes and stack them on top of each other.
  • Mina: I'm sure we can find some decorations and balloons. We can ask our managers
  • Nayeon: Where's Jihyo, she usually knows what she's doing.
  • Jihyo: [Kicks open the door and wheels in a giant rectangular crate]
  • Jihyo: Did someone request an .... [cracks open the crate to reveal an ice sculpture replica of Chaeyoung] ice sculpture?
  • Jeongyeon: Oh my god
  • Dahyun: But what about the cake?
  • Jihyo: [Picks up a box that she was balancing on top of the crate] Five tier right?
  • Tzuyu: How... How did you do that
  • Jihyo: What's an ice sculpture and a cake to a god?
  • Society: *Expects teenagers to be in high level classes while maintaining good grades, join plenty of extracurricular activities and be in honor societies, and students don't ever have enough homework and are always exhausted so let's have teachers give them work all day everyday to keep them focused, they should also have a job by possibly sophomore year working ridiculous hours so they can buy a car and start saving for college so they don't end up in student debt, then of course you should have a social life, but don't forget to apply for all those scholarships because the last thing the government wants is money out of your pockets, but of course volunteering in the free time that's just lying around looks awesome on resumes so let's just throw that in there, and remember that after all that you can totally find a job and an apartment so you'll be completely set after college.*
Members of SMH and Hydration
  • Carries around a gallon jug of water they drink every day: Jack, RANSOM, Nursey
  • Buys Gatorade powder in bulk and adds a scoop to every glass of water: Holster, Shitty, DEX, Whiskey
  • Lives life in between cups of coffee: Bitty, LARDO, Chowder, Tango, FORD

(( OOC: Lots can happen in a year, if the past 365 days are anything to go by. If my calculations are correct, I ventured into this not-so-little community a year ago today.

I started a little bit sceptical and hella confused. I had no idea how this thing worked pretty sure I still don’t. But a year on I’ve got a very strange new hobby that I absolutely love, and most importantly, a whole new bunch of friends.

They are the very friendliest of friends, and I am more than a little fond of them. Out of all the things that have happened over the past year, finding them has been the best thing I’ve done. I’d definitely forget someone if I tried to tag all of you, but I hope you know who you are.

So thank you to my friendly friends, who are more talented and clever and funny than I let them know (don’t want to give them a big head, after all). And thanks to you guys for sicking around. I hope you enjoy the stuff I do as much as I enjoy making it. ))