i don't wanna wait two more years i want tattoos now

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: It's the summer of 2001. Joe meets Patrick and he's like, "Yo. I know about music." And Patrick's like, "Yo. I know more about music." "That's impossible. D'you wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like, "... Yeah, that's cool." and then he's like, "Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!" And then, they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick's wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason. They start playin' music together. They're like "Oh, let's play some fuckin' covers from some other bands." It was like Green Day... and fuckin' Misfits... and fuckin' Ramones... Pete said to Joe, "Yo, we gotta change this shit up." "Yo. We played all these bands, let's play shit from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope. But we need a fuckin' drummer!" Because Patrick's playin' drums and he's a singer! And Patrick's like, "Yo, I got a soul voice." And they're like, "Wait, how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like, "Yo, watch this: YEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEaAAAAHHH!" And they're like, "Oh my god, that sounds like soul!" So they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIING?!" And then they're like, "Yo, that's fuckin' perfect. This is Fall Out Boy." And they made records like Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it... with your ex-girlfriend. It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "Yo, what the FUUUCK! Yo. this is gonna be fuckin' dooooope!" So they made a record, and it was called Take This to Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese... Neil Peart, the dude from Toto... The fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they're like, "Yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like bigadigalulululululuPSSHHH! Killin' the skins! Tappin' the skins, tappin' the rim. Playin' the shit. Killin' these bitches. Wrappin' it out. (You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!) "We should get signed to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know wha the fuck is goin' on." They were like, "Yo. If you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard. We will sign you guys." he was like, "Yo! We got this record that's fuckin' dope, dude! It's called Take This to your Grave. And it's called From Under the Cork Tree, and it's gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick's like, "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album, it's called - **burp** - it's called Thanks for the Memories, Twenty Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar We're Goin' Down. And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts, like one, two, three! Three two one! Three four five six seven eight nine teeen! Ten to one! From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records... ten million records.! ...fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick is like, "That's GOooOooOooOooOooOooOd!" pete was like, "Yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!" Joe was like, "...yeah, it's cool man, whatever. I don't give a shit." And then Andy was like, "...eh...cool." And Pete was like, "Makeup is fuckin' great for a guy. Because, it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lotta times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." **cut to Brendon spitting for 30 seconds** (shutthefuck - oh, fuck... alright, alright.) Pete was like, "Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic!" And then I saw the dick pic and I was like, "Eh, it's not bad." It's not a bad dick. Let's be real. We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us. They were so pissed! They were like, "Yo, fuck you guys!" They're like, "YO! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, FUCK these dude! We're gonna go fucking miles above! We're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man!" But they didn't! Because they missed a second of time. Apparently. They were like, "Oh, shit, we got every continent!" But they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like, "what the FUCK?!" Oh, you didn't make the continent.. It's like fuck you! So, From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomenes.s... Like, people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big. **people talking in the background, Brendon spills/pours beer on himself** Alright. So Fall out Boy was like, so Patrick's like, "Yo, we're gonna name this record from uru - From Under the Cork Tree and from inity-isf - **laugh** From Infinity on High. Pete was like, "Yo. Folie a Deux means the theatric of two." Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Fall Out Boy was like, "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like, "Yo. We gotta take a break, bruh." And Patrick's like, "I need time for my music. OOHH!" And Joe's like, "Yo. I need to find the fuckin' art, dude. I gotta find some fuckin' meau-metal." And Andy's like, "I'm just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands." And they're like, "Alright. This break's been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long." Three and a half...? "We gotta fuckin' come back, man. We gotta come back strong." (You took my beer away! What the fuck? **someone in the back: You poured it all over yourself! You poured it on yourself, man.**) "We gotta make this shit legit, it's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record... Save Rock and Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everybody's like, "What the fuck? You're workin' with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and Pink..." (There's p - what the fuck is on my shirt, did I puke on myself? **people in the background telling him he poured beer on himself** oh, god...) Pete was like, "Yo, we're gonna end up on a tour with Panci! At the Disco and Twenty Pilots." And that's all. That's all that matters. And that's just how the fuckin' story goes.
Oops
  • Teacher: *giving a lesson to the class*
  • Me: Okay, time to pay attention
  • My Brain: It's the summer of 2001. Joe meets Patrick and he's like, "Yo. I know about music." And Patrick's like, "Yo. I know more about music." "That's impossible. D'you wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like, "... Yeah, that's cool." and then he's like, "Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!" And then, they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick's wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason. They start playin' music together. They're like "Oh, let's play some fuckin' covers from some other bands." It was like Green Day... and fuckin' Misfits... and fuckin' Ramones... Pete said to Joe, "Yo, we gotta change this shit up." "Yo. We played all these bands, let's play shit from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope. But we need a fuckin' drummer!" Because Patrick's playin' drums and he's a singer! And Patrick's like, "Yo, I got a soul voice." And they're like, "Wait, how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like, "Yo, watch this: YEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEaAAAAHHH!" And they're like, "Oh my god, that sounds like soul!" So they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIING?!" And then they're like, "Yo, that's fuckin' perfect. This is Fall Out Boy." And they made records like Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it... with your ex-girlfriend. It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "Yo, what the FUUUCK! Yo. this is gonna be fuckin' dooooope!" So they made a record, and it was called Take This to Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese... Neil Peart, the dude from Toto... The fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they're like, "Yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like bigadigalulululululuPSSHHH! Killin' the skins! Tappin' the skins, tappin' the rim. Playin' the shit. Killin' these bitches. Wrappin' it out. (You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!) "We should get signed to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know wha the fuck is goin' on." They were like, "Yo. If you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard. We will sign you guys." he was like, "Yo! We got this record that's fuckin' dope, dude! It's called Take This to your Grave. And it's called From Under the Cork Tree, and it's gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick's like, "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album, it's called - **burp** - it's called Thanks for the Memories, Twenty Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar We're Goin' Down. And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts, like one, two, three! Three two one! Three four five six seven eight nine teeen! Ten to one! From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records... ten million records.! ...fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick is like, "That's GOooOooOooOooOooOooOd!" pete was like, "Yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!" Joe was like, "...yeah, it's cool man, whatever. I don't give a shit." And then Andy was like, "...eh...cool." And Pete was like, "Makeup is fuckin' great for a guy. Because, it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lotta times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." **cut to Brendon spitting for 30 seconds** (shutthefuck - oh, fuck... alright, alright.) Pete was like, "Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic!" And then I saw the dick pic and I was like, "Eh, it's not bad." It's not a bad dick. Let's be real. We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us. They were so pissed! They were like, "Yo, fuck you guys!" They're like, "YO! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, FUCK these dude! We're gonna go fucking miles above! We're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man!" But they didn't! Because they missed a second of time. Apparently. They were like, "Oh, shit, we got every continent!" But they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like, "what the FUCK?!" Oh, you didn't make the continent.. It's like fuck you! So, From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomenes.s... Like, people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big. **people talking in the background, Brendon spills/pours beer on himself** Alright. So Fall out Boy was like, so Patrick's like, "Yo, we're gonna name this record from uru - From Under the Cork Tree and from inity-isf - **laugh** From Infinity on High. Pete was like, "Yo. Folie a Deux means the theatric of two." Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Fall Out Boy was like, "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like, "Yo. We gotta take a break, bruh." And Patrick's like, "I need time for my music. OOHH!" And Joe's like, "Yo. I need to find the fuckin' art, dude. I gotta find some fuckin' meau-metal." And Andy's like, "I'm just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands." And they're like, "Alright. This break's been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long." Three and a half...? "We gotta fuckin' come back, man. We gotta come back strong." (You took my beer away! What the fuck? **someone in the back: You poured it all over yourself! You poured it on yourself, man.**) "We gotta make this shit legit, it's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record... Save Rock and Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everybody's like, "What the fuck? You're workin' with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and Pink..." (There's p - what the fuck is on my shirt, did I puke on myself? **people in the background telling him he poured beer on himself** oh, god...) Pete was like, "Yo, we're gonna end up on a tour with Panci! At the Disco and Twenty Pilots." And that's all. That's all that matters. And that's just how the fuckin' story goes.
  • Me: It's getting late, I'd better get to sleep.
  • My Brain: It was the summer of 2001...
  • Me: Hoe don't do it.
  • My Brain: It was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
  • Me: Oh my god.
  • Child: Mom can you tell me a bedtime story?
  • Me: Of course dear
  • Me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
me as a baby #3
  • baby: i- it- I
  • parent: what are you going to say, huh??
  • baby: It was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes.
  • me: *walks into an audition
  • me: Hi I'm Amanda I'll be doing a monologue for you today
  • me: It's the summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he's like "Yo, I know about music." and Patrick's like "Yo, I know more about music."
  • "That's impossible..Do you want to start a band?" and Patrick's like "Yeah that's cool." and then he's like "Yo this is a bookstore this is not a music store."
  • And then they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick is wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some f***ing reason, and Pete's there for some reason. And they start playing together, and they're like "Oh, let's play some covers from some other bands."
  • It was like Green Day, and f**in' Misfits, and f***in' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "Yo, we gotta change this s** up. Yo we've played all these bands, let's play some s*** from Fall Out Boy."
  • And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope, but we need a f***in' drummer."
  • Because Patrick's playing drums, and he's a singer. Patrick's like "Yo, I got a soul voice." , and they're like "Wait how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like "Yo, watch this: YeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeAAAAAHHHHhaaaHHHEEaaH!"
  • And they're like "Oh my God, that sounds like soul." So they put it in a song, and it was like "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIiIIIIIiiiiIIIIiiiiiiiiGHT?"
  • And they're like "Yo, that's f***ing perfect, this is Fall Out Boy."
  • And they made records like Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.
  • "It's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend."
  • With your ex-girlfriend. It's called Evening Out With Your EX-Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter.
  • And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe, and he was like "Yo, what the Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu**? Yo, this is gonna be f***in' dooooooope!"
  • So they made a record, and it was called Take This To Your Grave. They made it without a drummer, and they had like three-four drummers come in. The four drummer they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something, and they're like "Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Take This To Your Grave. F***in' record it."
  • And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalilililililila, pshhh." Killin' the skins, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the s***, killin' these b****es, rapping it out.
  • You're getting a f**ing tattoo right now, what the f** is going on?
  • We should get signed by Fueled By Ramen, 'cause these guys know what the f*** is going on.
  • And they were like "Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not f***in' hard, we will sign you guys."
  • Pete was like "Yo, we got this record that f***in' dooooooope, dude it's called Take This To Your Grave, it's called From under The Cork Tree, and it's gonna be f***in' huge."
  • And Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album, and it's called [BURP] Thanks For The Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, Sugar We're Goin' Down."
  • And they made this record that was f***in' dope, and it f***in' hit on the charts like one, two, three, three, two, one, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ten to ONE. From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records- ten million records, fifteen million records!
  • And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick's like "That's GOOOooooOOOOD!" Pete was like "Yo, f*** you, I can do whatever I want!"
  • Joe was like "Yeah, it's cool man, whatever, I don't give a s***." And then Andy was like "Eh, cool."
  • And Pete was like "Make-up is f***in' great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful, and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everyone thinks that guys are beautiful."
  • SHUT THE F*** UP!
  • Oh f*** alright, alright.
  • Pete was like "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." And then I saw the dick pic, and was like "Ah, it's not bad."
  • It's not a bad dick, let's be real.
  • We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed, they were like "Yo f*** you guys!" They're like "Yo, Panic! has the f**in' cover for Rolling Stone yo, f** these dudes, we're gonna go miles above, we're gonna hit every f***in' continent there is known to man."
  • But they didn't, they missed a second of time. Apparently, they were like "Oh s***, we got every continent." And they didn't actually hit it. Dude, and Pete was like "WHAT THE F***? 'Oh it's like you didn't f**in' make the continent.,' it's like F** YOU!"
  • So From Under The Cork Tree happens, we f***in' have like three-four years of awesomeness. Like people are comin' on themselves 'cause it's so big.
  • Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-
  • So Patrick was like "Yo, we're gonna name these records From Under The Cork Tree and From Infinity On High ."
  • Pete was like "Folie a Deux means the theatric of two."
  • "The madness of two."
  • Oh, sorry, I'm sorry.
  • Fall Out Boy was like "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like "Yo, we gotta take a break, bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUHUHUHUH."
  • And Joe's like "Yo, I need time to find the f***in' art dude, I gotta find some me-metal."
  • And Andy's like "I'm just gonna play with some f***in' metal bands."
  • And they're like "Alright, this break's been like three years long-two years long-three years long-three and a half? We gotta f***in' come back, man, we gotta come back strong."
  • You took my beer away, what the f***?
  • "No, you poured it all over yourself."
  • "Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man, here."
  • "We gotta make this s*** legit, it's gonna be f**in' dope, it's gonna go f***in' sky high. We're gonna make a f***in' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record Save Rock And Roll."
  • So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix, and everybody's like "What the f***? You're working with this guy who f***in' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk."
  • Is this pu-what the f*** is on my shirt, did I puke myself? Oh God.
  • Pete was like "Yo, we're gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots."
  • And that's all, and that's all that matters.And that's just how the f***in' story goes.
I’m Back

Fandom: The Originals

Pairing: Kol Mikaelson x reader

Summary/Request: One shot request where the reader was in love with Kol and friends with Elena but then they kill Kol and she gets really depressed and then Kol actually comes back for good ( let’s pretend) and their reunion and lots of cuteness and fluff!!!! Thanks, love your imagines!!! - sophiedarting

Word Count:1921

It has been three months since one of your best friends killed the love of your life. Three months since she pulled out your heart and ripped a whole chunk out of it. It has been hell. You haven’t heard his voice, felt his touch, smelt his cologne, all because of Elena Gilbert.

She’s come over to your house, apologetic, bringing you food and groceries as a good will gesture, you saw it for what it was, guilt. Jeremy was the smarter out of the siblings and he stayed away from you. Ever since you had been turned by Rebekah you had an air of badassery about you, your newfound fangs made you a lot more confident, therefore it scared him to think what you would do to him in an act of revenge. 

You were sitting on your bed, surrounded by memories of Kol when you saw a picture of you, Elena and Kol. Your blood boiled. 

It came to your realisation that you shouldn’t keep letting your anger simmer deep inside, you should let it boil over and unleash itself onto Elena Gilbert. And that was what you did.

Keep reading

Ideal Wintour Concert
  • Patrick: *steps up to microphone*
  • Patrick: *opens mouth*
  • Patrick: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes.
  • Psychic: *reads my mind*
  • My mind: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
  • Psychic: What the actual fuck?
  • friend: [in a crowd and can't find me] this calls for drastic measures
  • friend [using hands like a microphone]: FALL OUT BOY
  • me: IT WAS THE SUMMER OF 2001, JOE MEETS PATRICK AND HE'S LIKE "YO, I KNOW ABOUT MUSIC." THEN PATRICK'S LIKE "YO, I KNOW MORE ABOUT MUSIC!" "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, DO YOU WANT TO START A BAND?" AND PATRICK'S LIKE, "YEAH, THAT'S COOL." AND THEN, HE'S LIKE, "YO, THIS IS A BOOK STORE, IT'S NOT A MUSIC STORE." AND THEN THEY MET AT PATRICK'S HOUSE. SO PATRICK'S WEARING SHORTS, AND SOCKS, AND A HAT. PATRICK IS PLAYING DRUMS FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, AND PETE'S THERE FOR SOME REASON. AND THEY START PLAYING MUSIC TOGETHER AND THEY'RE LIKE "OH, LET'S PLAY SOME FUCKING COVERS FROM OTHER BANDS." IT WAS LIKE GREEN DAY, AND FUCKIN' MISFITS, AND FUCKIN' RAMONES. PETE SAID TO JOE, "YO WE GOTTA CHANGE THIS SHIT UP. YO, WE'VE PLAYED ALL THESE BANDS, LET'S PLAY SOME SHIT FROM FALL OUT BOY." AND SO PETE AND PATRICK ARE LIKE, "YO THAT'S DOPE, BUT WE NEED A FUCKIN' DRUMMER." BECAUSE PATRICK'S PLAYING DRUMS AND HE'S A SINGER. PATRICK'S LIKE "YO, I GOT A SOUL VOICE," AND THEY'RE LIKE "WAIT, HOW DO YOU HAVE A SOUL VOICE?" AND HE'S LIKE, "YO, WATCH THIS, yeeeEEEEeeeEEeEEeeEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeeEEaEAEAEAaAaAAAAaaaaaAAAAaahhhhh!" AND THEY'RE LIKE, "OH MY GOD, THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOUL!" SO THEY PUT IT IN A SONG, AND IT WAS LIKE, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONiIIiIiiiiIIiIiIiIIiiiiIIIIiIIiiiiGHT?" AND THEY'RE LIKE "YO, THAT'S FUCKING PERFECT, THIS IS FALL OUT BOY." AND THEY MADE RECORDS LIKE EVENING OUT LIKE YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND. EVENING OUT WITH YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND, EVERYBODY LOVES IT. "IT'S CALLED EVENING OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND." WITH YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND. IT'S CALLED EVENING OUT WITH YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND. IT'S CALLED EATING OUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, AND IT'S REAL AND IT DOESN'T MATTER. AND PETE TALKED TO PATRICK AND JOE AND HE WAS LIKE "YO, WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK? YO, THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN' DOOOOOOOOPE!" SO THEY MADE A RECORD AND IT WAS CALLED TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE. THEY MADE IT WITHOUT A DRUMMER, AND THEY HAD LIKE THREE-FOUR DRUMMERS COME IN. THE FOUR DRUMMERS THEY HAD COME IN WERE LIKE JOSH FREESE, NEIL PERT, THE DUDE FROM TOTO, THE FOURTH ONE WAS LIKE THE GUY FROM PAPA ROACH OR SOMETHING, AND THEY'RE LIKE "YO, WE NEED ANDY HURLEY. ANDY HURLEY. TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE. FUCKIN' RECORD IT." AND HE DID IT, AND HE KILLED IT, AND HE WAS LIKE "BIGIDALILILILILILA, PSH!" KILLIN' THE SKINS, TAPPING THE SKINS, TAPPING THE RIM, PLAYIN' THE SHIT, KILLING THESE BITCHES, RAPPING IT OUT. YOU'RE GETTING A FUCKING TATTOO RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WE SHOULD GET SIGNED TO FUELED BY RAMEN, 'CAUSE THESE GUYS KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. AND THEY WERE LIKE "YO, IF YOU CAN MAKE OUR SCENE ANY BIGGER THAN IT IS, WHICH IS NOT FUCKIN' HARD, WE WILL SIGN YOU GUYS." PETE WAS LIKE "YO, WE GOT THIS RECORD THAT'S FUCKIN' DOOOPE, DUDE, IT'S CALLED TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE, IT'S CALLED FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE IT'S GONNA BE FUCKING HUGE." AND PATRICK'S LIKE, "I GOTTA KEEP IT REAL, I GOTTA KEEP IT ARTISTIC, THESE ARE THREE SONGS THAT ARE GONNA MAKE THE ALBUM AND IT'S CALLED [BURP] THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, 20 DOLLAR NOSE BLEED, AND SUGAR, WE'RE GOIN' DOWN. AND THEY MADE THIS RECORD THAT WAS FUCKIN' DOPE. AND IT HIT THE CHARTS LIKE ONE, TWO, THREE, THREE, TWO, ONE, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN, TEN TO ONE. FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE SOLD LIKE FOUR MILLION RECORDS- TEN MILLION RECORDS- FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS! AND BREDON URIE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ENTIRE RECORD. AND PATRICK'S LIKE "THAT'S GOOoooOOooOooOOoOooOooOD." PETE WAS LIKE, "YO, FUCK YOU, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT." AND JOE WAS LIKE, "YEAH, IT'S COOL MAN, WHATEVER, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT." AND THEN ANDY WAS LIKE, "EH, COOL." AND PETE WAS LIKE, "MAKE-UP IS FUCKIN' GREAT FOR A GUY. BECAUSE IT MAKES A GUY LOOK BEAUTIFUL, WHICH A LOT OF TIMES, A GUY IS NOT BEAUTIFUL, AND I WANNA CHANGE THAT. I WANNA MAKE SURE EVERYONE THINKS GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL." I'M GOOD SO FAR. YEAH, I DO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH, FUCK, ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. PETE WAS LIKE, "OH MY GOD I'M SO EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS DICK PIC." AND THEN I SAW THE DICK PIC AND WAS LIKE "AH IT'S NOT BAD." IT'S NOT A BAD DICK. LET'S BE REAL. WE MADE ROLLING STONE ONE ISSUE BEFORE FALL OUT BOY. AND FALL OUT BOY MADE THE ISSUE RIGHT AFTER US AND THEY WERE SO PISSED, THEY WERE LIKE, "YO, FUCK YOU GUYS!" THEY'RE LIKE, "YO, PANIC! HAS THE FUCKING COVER FOR ROLLING STONE, YO, FUCK THESE DUDES, WE'RE GONNA FUCKING GO MILES ABOVE, WE'RE GONNA HIT EVERY FUCKIN' CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN." BUT THEY DIDN'T, BECAUSE THEY MISSED A SECOND OF TIME. APPARENTLY, THEY WERE LIKE "OH, SHIT, WE GOT EVERY CONTINENT." AND THEY DIDN'T ACTUALLY HIT IT. DUDE, AND PETE WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK?" "OH YOU DIDN'T FUCKIN' MAKE THE CONTINENT," IT'S LIKE FUCK YOU! SO FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE HAPPENS, WE FUCKIN' HAVE THREE-FOUR YEARS OF AWESOMENESS. LIKE PEOPLE ARE COMING ON THEMSELVES CAUSE IT'S SO BIG. ALRIGHT, SO FALL OUT BOY WAS LIKE- SO PATRICK'S LIKE "YO, WE'RE GONNA NAME THESE TWO RECORDS FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE AND FROM INNITY- FROM INFINITY ON HIGH" PETE WAS LIKE "YO, FOLIE À DEUX MEAN THE THEATRIC OF TWO." "THE MADNESS OF TWO." OH, SORRY, I'M SORRY. FALL OUT BOY WAS LIKE, "YO, WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK." MEANING, PETE WAS LIKE "YO, WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK, BRO." AND PATRICK'S LIKE, "I NEED TIME FOR MY MUSIC, UHuHhUHuHUUH." AND JOE'S LIKE, "YO, I NEED TIME TO FIND THE FUCKING ART DUDE, I GOTTA FIND SOME FUCKING ME-METAL." AND ANDY'S LIKE, "I'M JUST GONNA PLAY WITH SOME FUCKIN' METAL BANDS." AND THEY'RE LIKE, "ALRIGHT THIS BREAK'S BEEN LIKE THREE YEARS LONG, TWO YEARS LONG, THREE YEARS LONG, THREE AND A HALF? WE GOTTA FUCKIN' COME BACK, MAN, WE GOTTA COME BACK STRONG." YOU TOOK MY BEER AWAY, WHAT THE FUCK? "NO, YOU POURED IT ALL OVER YOURSELF." "YEAH, YPU POURED IT ON YOURSELF, MAN, HERE." "WE GOTTA MAKE THIS SHIT LEGIT, IT'S GONNA BE FUCKING DOPE, IT'S GONNA GO FUCKIN' SKY HIGH. WE'RE GONNA MAKE A FUCKIN' RECORD THAT SAILS THE SKIES. WE'RE GONNA CALL THIS RECORD SAVE ROCK AND ROLL." SO THEY MADE ALONE TOGETHER, LIGHT 'EM UP, ALONE TOGETHER, PHOENIX. AND EVERYBODY'S LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK? YOU'RE WORKING WITH THIS GUY WHO FUCKIN' RECORDED AVRIL LAVIGNE AND PINK." IS THIS PU- WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY SHIRT, DID I PUKE MYSELF? OH GOD. PETE WAS LIKE, "YO, WE'RE GONNA END UP ON A TOUR WITH PANIC! AT THE DISCO AND TWENTY PILOTS. AND THAT'S ALL, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. AND THAT'S JUST HOW THE FUCKIN' STORY GOES.
  • friend: there you are
SENTENCE MEME ~ SAINTS ROW IV VERSION
  • "Your file has been most interesting to read, ____."
  • "You tell anyone about that and I will rip every last resistor off your circuit board with my teeth."
  • "We're tight. We go way back."
  • "Oh. Wasn't worried..."
  • I don't wanna come off as a gushing fanatic but I've really enjoyed your work."
  • "Oh are you an actor!? I'm talking about how well you handle a gun, it's very impressive."
  • "I read your book when it came out."
  • "You teach diplomacy, I get called in when diplomacy fails."
  • "I just need to feel a familial connection, ya'know?"
  • "___ says I'm not really allowed to say that word anymore."
  • "Really!? What did you think?"
  • "I'd rather relive those days than drink another one."
  • "I hope you're not offended, but I'm not really familiar with your career."
  • "I hear you're also an actor."
  • "The great thing about you not knowing much about me is I can tell you bullshit like that."
  • "So all these years later has your opinion of me changed?"
  • "I'd rather not state the names if it's worth the same to you."
  • "That is a nice exterior you have."
  • "Alright, but make it quick."
  • "Permission to speak freely, ___?"
  • "I have come to a singular conclusion. You scare me..."
  • "In hindsight, do you see that as a wise decision?"
  • "I'll have you know everything we use is 100% designed and made in the U.S.A."
  • "You honestly can't believe that can you?"
  • "Yeah! Just like- Damn!"
  • "Why is that so hard to believe?"
  • "You make a very compelling point."
  • "Good, you're learning,"
  • "What? Me? No, I'm sure of thinking of somebody else."
  • "_____ and I had a long standing business arrangement."
  • "I don't believe you."
  • "I never understood why men with your natural martial talent never joined the special forces."
  • "What's it like being part if that?"
  • "Thank you for pointing that out."
  • "I can't really be there if I'm already there. You know what I mean?""
  • "Are you high?"
  • "Heard you kidnapped me or something."
  • "That was business."
  • "And what about seducing me and make me serve your every little fantasy?"
  • "Never really thought I'd be seeing you like this again."
  • "Hey, aggressive and vengeful is fun. Though I think that's the part you didn't catch on to."
  • "Uh, sometimes you have to spell it out for me."
  • "You ever take anything seriously?"
  • "I still don't believe you're real, you know."
  • "OK, now you're projecting here."
  • "Well you're a... Wait, what?"
  • "Hey, I just call it as I see it."
  • "Well, let me give you a tip. There is no even."
  • "I believe that you did that all on your own, little [GENDER]."
  • "What have you ever accomplished?"
  • "I was a big fan of yours."
  • "I learned so much from you."
  • "No, man. I learned so much about the real world. You know, the real world. With the people with no faces and messages on everything."
  • "Baby Jesus, you folks are freaks."
  • So, you got anything good on you?"
  • "I tried to kill you and you're hitting me up for ____?"
  • "Sounds perfect to me."
  • "Bet it was a good read."
  • "The list of people killed by you was the longest I'd seen in my entire career."
  • "Shit seemed so much simpler in the old days, didn't it _____?"
  • "What's so funny?"
  • "Not if you wanna keep breathing."
  • "It's like someone is intentionally trying to put us together to see what'll happen. Fucking fan-fiction."
  • "So, how many times?"
  • "I dunno fifty is pretty impressive."
  • "Despite everything I've done with my life, apparently that's what I'm known for."
  • "Well, you're in impressive company."
  • "Me? No, God no, of course not... not that I didn't consider it, once or twice."
  • "Why does everyone keep saying that?"
  • "Guess we both fucked up."
  • "Yeah, we were a pair, you and me."
  • "It is fucked up that we can talk right now."
  • "Looks like we were both too blind for our own good."
  • "Tried to blow 'em up on a boat."
  • "What? No, nothing like... ha, well I'll be damned."
  • "A-ahm. Then, how are you here?"
  • "I can't get over how much different you are from your other you."
  • "I guess you and me have a lot in common after all."
  • "How about that sport's team?"
  • "Hell, if someone wrote that in a book there isn't anyone in the world who'd read that shit."
  • "Why you gotta be a dream killer, man?"
  • "That chick told me something pretty interesting."
  • "She says a lot of crazy shit."
  • "I did mess you up pretty bad."
  • "I already won once. I don't need to do it again."
  • "How you holding up? Things getting too crazy for you?"
  • "Did I ever tell you about the time I choked a man to death with my bare hands?"
  • "I can still feel his pulse, beating against the palms of my hand, getting slower and softer, until nothing."
  • "Oh, where have you heard that?"
  • "From the last fantasy game I saw online."
  • "So, you were some big hotshot gangster?"
  • "Did it piss you off to find out she faked her death just to get out of her contract?"
  • "Hurts like a bitch when it's gonna rain."
  • "Watch yourself old man."
  • "Don't get mad at me for telling the truth."
  • "It's amazing the lives I've changed just telling my story."
  • "If I got even one kid off the street it was all worth it."
  • "This was not the downer I was looking for."
  • "Yeah, I had to give that up at some point."
  • "Cause I am totally family material."
  • "I'm not getting anywhere with this argument, am I?"
  • "Are you sure you do not want to go out with me sometime?"
  • "It is just that I have been alone for so long and you and I have so much in common."
  • "I gotta be honest, I don't see any real similarity."
  • "Thanks for rescuing me."
  • "It was on the way!"
  • "Why a whiny brat like him?"
  • "But he's so fucking annoying."
  • "Are you jealous that I did not approach you with the offer?"
  • "Wait, you haven't told anybody, have you?"
  • "Do you want me to tell everyone about what you kept in that locked drawer in your desk?"
  • "You set an example for a lot of men who were questioning their own fashion choices and maybe even who they were inside."
  • "Hold on. By repopulate you mean?"
  • "So, I hear you're really good with computers and stuff."
  • "I guess being taken hostage really changes you."
  • "He ended getting killed when he tattooed the number for the police department's tip hotline to the back of his hand."
  • "Why do humans see the need to permanently mark their body with ink?"
  • "Why do robots see the need to ask such stupid pointless questions?"
  • "You simply don't get it, you had no chance, ever."
  • "You heard about that psychotic witchdoctor before me?"
  • "Kind of a cliché answer."
  • "Kind of a cliché conversation."
  • "Good point. I'll be quiet now."
  • "You know, I had a best friend named ____ once."
  • "I hope for your sake that's a compliment."
  • "How are you enjoying the field work?"
  • "Mastermind is more my speed."
  • "An allure? Is it spy-code for dirt, blood, fire, nausea and the insufferable blatherings of monosyllabic enemies that all look alike?"
  • "I imagine they have already seen themself naked."
  • "What are you doing after this? Maybe see where things go?"
  • "You're not nearly the psychopathic killing machine I was led to believe."
  • "You and I share that."
  • "Oh God! You're one of those."
  • "A thug? Are you saying that I am just a thug?"
  • "You really wanna shut your mouth now, son."
  • "I admit I feel the most direct kinship with you."
  • "We're outcasts, you and I. Strangers even amongst peers."
  • "This is... probably a strange time to mention it, but you were one of the best bad guys."
  • "I even had one of your action figures."
  • "Who would have thought, eh? You and me fighting side by side."
  • "Your brawn and my brains, your sass and my good looks, we're like a buddy cop show."
  • "There's no way you could have known that information, my cover was flawless."
  • "Well, that's quite a theory you have there."
  • "You know, I was like you once, I thought I could take down ____ and carry on with business as usual."
  • "You know, that wouldn't have been a bad idea."
  • "It's nice to get to talk to you on a more personal level."
  • "On second thought, I have enough friends."
  • "You almost remind me of my former assistants."
  • "Well, they actually had a measure of intelligence"
  • "Hey, if you ever get back into the whole criminal thing again, I can totally get you the hookup for good product."
  • "You don't employ any crazy dudes with Machetes do you?"
  • "Do I make you uncomfortable? If so, I apologize."
  • "You are always backing away from me and giving sideways glances as if I am contagious."
  • "So you're the playa's right-hand man. How's that working out for you?"
  • "Sorry man, but you gotta let that shit go."
  • "Oh that's funny. Coming from the people who scarred my face."
  • "I'm not looking to make friends here."
  • "That about sums it up. Yeah."
  • "You think you've gone crazy, don't you?"
  • "You know, I'm a pretty popular singer now."
  • "I was thinking we can hang some time. I let you hear some of my tracks."
  • "I have been watching footage of your old fighting matches."
  • "Funny how two completely different worlds can create things that are so similar."
  • "I am sure it was completely coincidental. You will be hearing from my attorneys."
  • "It's nice to see a celebrity who can handle a gun, seems most of them can barely land a punch."
  • "I hear you brother, no shit."
  • "Guy who played you sounds nothing like you though."
  • "____ is more powerful than you can imagine."
  • "Are you saying I don't have personality?"
  • "Cool it, ___. I'm just fucking with you."
  • "Oh no! Don't even speak to me. You don't get that right."
  • "Open your mouth again and you'll be singing falsetto permanently."
  • "I know. Man, those were good times."
  • "I thought I listened to you die. I thought that if we'd only gone back for you we could've stopped it."
  • "I'm right here, I didn't die and besides, that wouldn't have been on you."
  • "I'd say sorry about ____, but that bitch nearly ran me over with her car."
  • "You know, we took on a whole gang of maniacal wrestlers in masks years ago."
  • "Oh, well. He's dead now."
  • "Ahh, it takes a strong soul to stand up to ____. Huh, you seem to me more than your hooker getup suggests."
  • "But you do look completely like a hooker."
  • "You are a terrible mistress and should be ashamed."
  • "Oh! Ah, terribly sorry. It's just, well, look at you."
  • "I like your shoes."
  • "Yeah, they're pretty nice, I guess."
  • "The skirt, looks good on you."
  • "Ya got anything to eat? I'm starving."
  • "I'm just saying I'm willing to forgive and forget if you are honey."
  • "You ain't getting close enough to shank me."
  • "This whole invasion thing has fucked up everything. You know?"
  • "You step out of line just once and I'll find an even bigger building to drop your ass from."
  • "Just how much of your body is tattooed?"
  • "Any chance you might be looking for a good time?"
  • "Streets are so noisy, I figure we could go some place more quiet. Maybe my place at nine. You bring the wine, I'll bring... my questions."
  • "Two glasses of that and I just can't control myself."
  • "Man, I loved you as a bad guy back in the day."
  • "Then you became a good guy and I was like what the hell."
  • "God! I don't know why the ____ calls in you people for help. I mean what the hell."
  • "Look, just because I was on the opposing side doesn't mean I'm some lesser being."
  • "I was a member of a voodoo gang. Thank you very much."
  • "So can you play music or anything useful?"
  • "Yes, I have quite a large library of music from your world."
  • "I thought you were some kind of servant robot, so come on play something."
  • "Is there any way I can get an autograph some time?"
  • "Personally I hate hippy bullshit."
  • "You, woah, this is trippy. I can't believe I'm hanging out with the guy from that Ghost Busting movie."
  • "You're like an empire god, you know all the tricks. I learned a lot. That's how I built a legion of loyal followers."
  • "You know someone who deals in tiny plastic toy ponies?"
  • "What the hell. This is bullshit, man."
  • "It's just, you know, it's a skirt. Not exactly the manliest outfit, especially for taking alien hordes in crime ridden city."
  • "Just because we're not in the ring doesn't mean I won't lay your ass out."
  • "You know what I wear under my kilt? Your girlfriend's lipstick."
  • "I gotta say ____ you're looking really good."
  • "Come on, if we're gonna work together you have to get over..."
  • "Nice. Something about power makes a woman really sexy."
  • "You know maybe after we're done here you and me should talk some more."
  • "I suppose ____ told you about the time I tried to get her take a bullet for me."
  • "Ehh. I've had guys do worse."
Sleeping Under The Stars (Luke *Fanfiction* Part 4)

Extra notice: I will probably make a page with all the parts by the end of the week. I’ll notify you guys when I do. Anyway, have a great day/night I love you Xox.

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Alright. This is somewhere in 2001 cclsibwHAHAHAHA Joe meets Patrick and he's like "Yo, I know about music." And Patrick's like "Yo, I know more about music." "That's impossible, do you wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like "yeah that's cool." And then he's like "Yo, this is book store not a music store." And then they meet at Patrick's house and Patrick's wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick's playing drums for some fucking reason and Pete's there for some reason. They start playing music together and they're like oh, let's play some fucking covers from some other bands. It was like Green Day, fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe "Yo, we gotta change this shit up." ahHAHAHHEHEHEHUE "Yo, we played all these bands lets play shit from Fall out Boy." and so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope but we need a fucking drummer." Because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "Yo, I gotta soul voice." And their like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like "Yo watch this YEAAAAAAAEAAAAAaaaAAAH." And their like oh my god that sounds like soul so they put it in the song and it was like "where is your boy tonIIIiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGhhHTT." ckchtHAHAHAHAHAHAHA And then their like "Yo, that's fucking perfect, this is Fall out Boy." And they made records like evening out with your ex-girlfriend. Evening out with your ex-girlfriend. Everybody loves it 'Its called eating out with your girlfriend.' With your EX-girlfriend. It's called eating out with your ex-girlfriend. ITS CALled eating out your girlfriend and its real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "Yo, what da fuUUUCCKKK! Yo, this is gonna be fuckin doooOOOOOPE." And they made a record and it was called Take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! They had three to four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from toto, ccckcht the dude was like from Papa Roach or something. And their like "Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take this to your Grave, fucking record it." And he did it and he killed it and he was like bigadidablalalalapshfhppPFSHTCHHHT. Killin the skins. Tapping the skins. Tapping the rim. Playing the shit. Killin these bitches. Rapping it out. YoURE GETTING A FUCKING TATToO rIgHt noW?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?! "We should get signed to fueled by ramen, cause these guys know what the fuck is going on." They were like "Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is which is not fucking hard." Ckvchhtchtblechkt "we will sign you guys." Pete was like "Yo, this record is fucking dooooope dude." Its called Take this to your Grave its called from Under the Cork Tree and its gonna be fuckin huge. And Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called argHHBURPGHS thnks fr th mmrs, 20 dollar nose bleed and sugar we're going down." And they made this record that was fuckin dope and it fucking hit on the charts like 1,2,3,3,2,1,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 10 to 1. From Under the Cork Tree sold like 4 million records. 10 million records. 15 million records. And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like "thATS GOOOOOoooooooOOOOOoOD." And Pete was like "FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!" Joe was like "Yeah, that's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." Chkt and Andy was like "eh, cool." And Pete was like "Make up is fucking great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I want to make sure everyone to think that guys are beautiful." Pbht, psstbh 'hey you okay.' I'm good so far 'you wanna spit one more time?' Yeah I do arghpsshfbt psstbht phew chchktsHUTHEFUCK ooho fuck alright alright Pete was like "oh my god I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." And then I saw the dick pic and I was like 'eh it's not bad.' Its not a bad dick let's be real. We made rolling stone one issue before Fall out Boy. And Fall out about made the issue right after us. They were so piSSED. They were like 'yo, fuck you guys.' They were like "Yo, Panic! Has the fucking cover for Rolling Stone? YO FUCK THESE DUDES WE'RE GONNA GO FUCKING MILES ABOVE! WE'RE GONNA HIT EVERY FUCKING CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!" But they didn't, because they missed a second of time apparently they were like "shit we hit every continent." But they didn't actually hit it. Yo Pete was like "WHAT THE FUCK!" Oh you didn't fucking make the continent it was like fuCK YOU. So from Under the Cork Tree happens. We fucking had three, four years of awesomeness like people were cumming on themselves cause it's so big. So Fall out Boy was like so Patrick's like "Yo, our record from Under the Cork Tree, from americanidinrisfjcckkht hohohhaha from infinity on high. Pete was like "Yo, Folie a Duex means the theatric of two." Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Fall out Boy was like "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning Pete was like "Yo, we gotta take a break bro." And Patrick's like "I need time for my music yeAAAAAAAEEAAAaaaAH." And Joe's like "Yo, I need time to find the fucking art man. I need to play some fuckin medal." And Andy's like "I'm just gonna play with some fucking medal bands." And their like "Alright." This breaks been like four years long, two years long, three years long, three and a half? "We gotta fucking come back man. We gotta comeback strooooong." YOU TOOK MY BEER AWAY WHAT THE FUck 'you poured it all over yourself.' "We gotta make this shit legit. It's gonna be fucking dope. It's gonna go fucking sky high. We're gonna make a fucking record that sails into sky's. We're gonna call this record... Save Rock and Roll." So they made Alone Together, Lite Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix and everybody's like 'what the fuUck. You're working with this guy that fucking record Avril Lavigne and P!NK.' what the fuck is this on my shirt? Did I pee on myself? 'You poured beer all over you.' Ooh god. Pete was like "Yo, we're gonna end up on this tour with Panic! At this Disco and Twenty One Pilots." HAHAHAATRGHBURPPSHFT. And that's all. And that's all that matters. And that's the how the fucking story goes.